Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Almost Famous In Depth: Colton Underwood

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Almost Famous In Depth: Colton Underwood · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

0:01
Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth.
0:04
Speaker 1: We got an in depth episode with Colton Underwood. It's
0:08
Speaker 1: been a while since he's been on the Almost Famous podcast.
0:11
Speaker 1: We're pumped to have him here. Colton Welcome, Well, it's
0:16
Speaker 1: nice to be here. Hello, Ashley, Hello, Bit Hello Hello.
0:19
Speaker 1: I mean, wow, couldn't more things have happened in your
0:21
Speaker 1: life since you were here? I don't know. I guess
0:23
Speaker 1: it was like two someven years ago. Uh No, some
0:29
Speaker 1: highs and some lows for sure, And yeah, COVID changed
0:32
Speaker 1: a lot. I had a time hop on my Instagram
0:36
Speaker 1: come up the other day and it was a picture
0:38
Speaker 1: of you meet Jared Ari Lauren and you and Cassie
0:43
Speaker 1: from Yeah, from that movie premiere. And I was like
0:47
Speaker 1: looking at this picture and it's like some big life
0:49
Speaker 1: event happened with pretty much everyone. It's crazy. Yeah, I
0:54
Speaker 1: mean that was I think that was like right before
0:56
Speaker 1: the world sort of shut down to it was legit
0:58
Speaker 1: like two yeah, Yeah, we're like, okay, let's get somewhere
1:03
Speaker 1: where we're okay with staying for the next two months. Yeah, now,
1:08
Speaker 1: uh walk us through it. Uh coldon. I mean, we
1:11
Speaker 1: obviously just mentioned a ton has gone on in your life,
1:14
Speaker 1: including um, professionally, personally, emotionally. Um, how has these last?
1:21
Speaker 1: I mean if we say two years, it's probably more
1:24
Speaker 1: like about a year and nine months. How have they
1:26
Speaker 1: been for you? Um? I mean rocky? It's I mean,
1:31
Speaker 1: there's no way to like sugarcoat it. I mean, it
1:33
Speaker 1: hasn't been the easiest process. And I'm really happy, really
1:39
Speaker 1: good now, but it took a lot of work to
1:41
Speaker 1: get there. And I mean, look, it just was like
1:46
Speaker 1: it was covered pretty much in the documentary as far
1:48
Speaker 1: as like how things went right after the breakup and
1:52
Speaker 1: COVID and all of that. But at the end of it,
1:56
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I could have handled a lot of
1:58
Speaker 1: things better and changed a lot of you know, and
2:01
Speaker 1: saved a lot of people a lot of time. But um,
2:04
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, like you know, my
2:05
Speaker 1: path to coming out, my path to finding happiness was
2:09
Speaker 1: definitely one that was pretty rocky. Now, Yeah, I mean
2:15
Speaker 1: I think, but we get to finish that up, then
2:18
Speaker 1: what have you learned? Maybe can we we close that
2:20
Speaker 1: thought with like where you sit today looking back on it,
2:22
Speaker 1: Like what what's changed within you? And what new like
2:28
Speaker 1: things have you started to focus on your life? I
2:31
Speaker 1: think I found inner peace, I mean, and it's and
2:34
Speaker 1: it's not something that like is I find and you
2:37
Speaker 1: get to keep all the time, like it's a work
2:38
Speaker 1: in progress. It's something that I'm still trying to find.
2:42
Speaker 1: What's going to keep that piece inside of me and
2:44
Speaker 1: how I'm gonna try to remain you know, true to
2:48
Speaker 1: who I am in all times and all aspects of
2:50
Speaker 1: my life. I think there's a lot of me, a
2:53
Speaker 1: lot of me that was overcompensating a lot of different
2:55
Speaker 1: aspects of my life, a lot of me that was
2:57
Speaker 1: trying to be somebody who I wasn't. So now that
2:59
Speaker 1: I have found that, I want to keep on that
3:02
Speaker 1: path and I want to keep you know, holding myself
3:04
Speaker 1: accountable and surrounding myself by good people and really just
3:08
Speaker 1: cutting out things in life that don't and that aren't
3:11
Speaker 1: good for me or healthy for me. Um. So you
3:15
Speaker 1: talk about what we can talk about documentary a little
3:18
Speaker 1: bit later, but in the documentary usually talk about what
3:21
Speaker 1: wich is called coming Out Colton on Netflix, Cassie's brought
3:24
Speaker 1: up a number of times. Of course, it was a
3:26
Speaker 1: huge part of your life and a lot of stuff
3:30
Speaker 1: that you went through. She we haven't heard from until
3:34
Speaker 1: perhaps tomorrow night she's might be on the Bachelor finale.
3:38
Speaker 1: How do you do you feel like she's going to speak?
3:41
Speaker 1: Do you how do you foresee a conversation with her?
3:44
Speaker 1: Maybe Jesse Palmer going, I have I have no clue?
3:48
Speaker 1: Um I did. I did know that she was going
3:50
Speaker 1: on one of the producer's text me just to give
3:52
Speaker 1: me heads up, um, which I mean obviously they don't
3:55
Speaker 1: even owe me that at this point. But I did
3:58
Speaker 1: appreciate that. But I don't mean I have no clue.
4:01
Speaker 1: I and whatever she needs to say, like I've always
4:03
Speaker 1: from the very beginning, you know, whatever she has to
4:07
Speaker 1: say event or do, like I'm you know, I obviously
4:10
Speaker 1: have no control over that. So it's, you know, whatever
4:12
Speaker 1: she feels like she needs to do. It is weird. Um, Well,
4:17
Speaker 1: first off, they didn't owe you that. I haven't had
4:19
Speaker 1: a producer text me I've bet in three years. I
4:22
Speaker 1: mean I don't, I don't think, so they don't give
4:24
Speaker 1: me any heads up anymore. And then I just saw
4:26
Speaker 1: a preview of my proposal during the Bachelor, was like,
4:30
Speaker 1: come on, guys, I'm married, Like, can we stop? ABC?
4:35
Speaker 1: But I know they How does that make you feel? Though?
4:38
Speaker 1: Because that's that's something, you know, And I got caught
4:40
Speaker 1: in the media, and I mean, obviously I don't want to, like, um,
4:43
Speaker 1: avoid the elephant in the room. I mean the title
4:46
Speaker 1: of me if you calling out for lying, Like you know,
4:50
Speaker 1: I think the Bachelor franchise for me became just so
4:53
Speaker 1: toxic in such a business that I didn't want to
4:55
Speaker 1: be involved in with how they handle things like that.
4:58
Speaker 1: So I stepped away. And UM, I just I don't know, like,
5:02
Speaker 1: how do you record, you know, reconcile that with yourself
5:05
Speaker 1: internally when they continue to do things that don't sit
5:09
Speaker 1: well with you or don't give your heads up. Well, yeah,
5:12
Speaker 1: I'd love to talk about UM. I think there's two
5:15
Speaker 1: things there. I'd love to talk about. UM saying that
5:17
Speaker 1: nobody in batin Nations supported you, UM, because that hurt
5:21
Speaker 1: pretty good, UM from a lot of people, like from
5:23
Speaker 1: a couple of people that I knew, just like we
5:25
Speaker 1: like Colton. I don't know why he's saying this about
5:29
Speaker 1: us like this was, you know. I fully support what
5:31
Speaker 1: he's doing. I don't love the path that it took,
5:34
Speaker 1: and I can't even comment on that, but I just
5:36
Speaker 1: don't love that he came out and said that, So
5:38
Speaker 1: that's one thing we'll talk about a second personally. UM,
5:43
Speaker 1: I think it's it's more hard for Jessica than it
5:46
Speaker 1: is for me. For me, it is a memory. Uh,
5:50
Speaker 1: it is a lot of times a blur in my life.
5:53
Speaker 1: Obviously was a very real relationship and a very real
5:56
Speaker 1: time for me that um almost you know that I've
6:00
Speaker 1: worked hard on moving on from Like there wasn't like
6:02
Speaker 1: this immediately like okay, it's over now I can get
6:04
Speaker 1: past It's like no, that's you know, that relationship affected
6:07
Speaker 1: me in a lot of different ways, good and bad.
6:10
Speaker 1: Um and uh. And so I've worked personally on getting
6:14
Speaker 1: away from that to then invest fully into my wife.
6:18
Speaker 1: Like that's that's like that's a big deal. Um, that's
6:20
Speaker 1: hard enough, you know, is to to to be married
6:23
Speaker 1: and to you know, give up a lot of yourself
6:26
Speaker 1: for your partner. But um, I also, I think at
6:31
Speaker 1: this point have understood that I agreed to the show.
6:35
Speaker 1: You know, fully agreed to it, said I am, I'm
6:37
Speaker 1: on this show. I'm going to now be the lead
6:39
Speaker 1: of this show, and whatever happens you I fully understand
6:43
Speaker 1: that you own the rights to everything that happens on
6:46
Speaker 1: this season. For perpetuity. And so however you use that,
6:51
Speaker 1: I cannot be upset because I agreed to that. I
6:55
Speaker 1: don't have to like it. I don't have to enjoy it.
6:57
Speaker 1: And I hope they respect, you know, I hope they
7:00
Speaker 1: care about me enough at this point where they're like,
7:02
Speaker 1: I don't want to show something that like ruins his
7:05
Speaker 1: marriage or like, you know not maybe I don't know
7:07
Speaker 1: if they have that power, but they don't show something
7:10
Speaker 1: that like causes you know, drama within my marriage. Um,
7:15
Speaker 1: I hope they respect me enough for that. I don't know,
7:17
Speaker 1: you know, that's yet to be seen. But it's still
7:20
Speaker 1: isn't fun, and it's still is not ideal, and it's
7:22
Speaker 1: still like makes me cringe and I'm like, gosh, dang it,
7:25
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to watch myself with another human.
7:27
Speaker 1: Like that's where my mind's at. So but I understand,
7:30
Speaker 1: I understand what I did. I understand that I gave
7:32
Speaker 1: it up, and uh, as much as I've moved on
7:34
Speaker 1: and and I don't have that much of a connection
7:36
Speaker 1: anymore with them, I understand that they still have that
7:38
Speaker 1: piece of me, and shoot, they want to show a
7:42
Speaker 1: couple more clips of me, Maybe that helps my social
7:44
Speaker 1: media following I don't know. Um, you guys are doing
7:47
Speaker 1: something right. Access to their lead isn't the easiest thing.
7:52
Speaker 1: Must not be in the in the dog in the
7:54
Speaker 1: dog hole anymore. UM. Okay. So then the second part
7:58
Speaker 1: of that um is, obviously if you hear some background noise.
8:02
Speaker 1: My I do have a puppy of the house and
8:03
Speaker 1: stuff gets knocked over and stuff gets growed out. So
8:06
Speaker 1: I just apologize for that. Um. You know, the headlines
8:10
Speaker 1: came out, Ueah, what what cause? And I'll tell you
8:15
Speaker 1: my side of what happened. UM, so that you have
8:18
Speaker 1: some context, because I think those headlines oftentimes get skewed
8:22
Speaker 1: and they're good clip bait. But I did say what
8:25
Speaker 1: I said. I said, this isn't true. Like you know,
8:28
Speaker 1: I know people that reached out to Colton. I reached
8:30
Speaker 1: out to Colton. Um. I had messages from people that
8:33
Speaker 1: I could show you right now saying, Uh, you claim
8:37
Speaker 1: to be inclusive, you you claim to be welcoming. Yet
8:43
Speaker 1: Colton has just came out and said nobody from Bachelor
8:46
Speaker 1: Nation supported him and Ben. You wer a lead on
8:48
Speaker 1: the on a season you were on Colton season. You
8:51
Speaker 1: live in Denver, How can you not support him, and
8:53
Speaker 1: I say that's not fair to That's not fair, And
8:56
Speaker 1: so that's where I was coming from. Was I felt
8:59
Speaker 1: like that statement was disregarding a couple of your friends
9:03
Speaker 1: within you know, maybe not close friends anymore, but friends
9:06
Speaker 1: who said, hey, I just want to see Colton happy
9:09
Speaker 1: or I want to see Colton with that inner piece,
9:11
Speaker 1: like I can't be mad at this decision he's made
9:15
Speaker 1: in his life to come out like that's I want to.
9:19
Speaker 1: I want to be at least for him to know
9:20
Speaker 1: that somebody from this world says, hey, that's not like
9:22
Speaker 1: when I'm mad at you for that. And so I
9:25
Speaker 1: guess that's where I was coming from, and it would
9:26
Speaker 1: be great too to hear what you know, your side
9:29
Speaker 1: of that. Yeah, well, I mean first like the fact
9:33
Speaker 1: that even got those messages, I'll say sorry because you know,
9:36
Speaker 1: after coming out, you did reach out to me. I
9:38
Speaker 1: think where you were starting at the beginning, As you know,
9:40
Speaker 1: headlines I have to you know, get clicks and move things,
9:44
Speaker 1: and the headline that came out I was more so.
9:48
Speaker 1: And I just I actually just watched the interview back
9:50
Speaker 1: just to make sure that I wasn't going to come
9:53
Speaker 1: on here and not have the facts, but it was
9:55
Speaker 1: more so saying, like when I was going through my
9:57
Speaker 1: mental spiral and my downfall, like when the news first
10:00
Speaker 1: broke of what was going on between me and my ex,
10:03
Speaker 1: the only person who did reach out was Chris. I
10:05
Speaker 1: had no support from the network, I had no support
10:07
Speaker 1: from the production company. I had no support from my
10:09
Speaker 1: own mental health. And I was really in a dark place.
10:13
Speaker 1: And I'd share that with with people in production how
10:15
Speaker 1: bad it was for me. And I think that's more
10:18
Speaker 1: where I was speaking from at that moment in that interview,
10:21
Speaker 1: when they were asking me, do I still watch a show?
10:22
Speaker 1: And I said, don't you know, I don't have a
10:24
Speaker 1: good relationship. It's not for me. Actually, the only person
10:27
Speaker 1: I truly keep in touch with, and by the way,
10:29
Speaker 1: keeping in touch for me is a text once twice
10:31
Speaker 1: a month to Chris checking in or congratulating him on
10:35
Speaker 1: a milestone or victory. I don't And maybe it wasn't
10:39
Speaker 1: a different interview where I said that, and if I did,
10:41
Speaker 1: I am sorry for if they did ask me if
10:44
Speaker 1: anybody since coming out had reached out. But that was
10:47
Speaker 1: more so where I was speaking from, as far as
10:49
Speaker 1: when I was going through the mental health side of things.
10:53
Speaker 1: I didn't really And look, the thing is like I
10:55
Speaker 1: didn't expect that from either of you, because you know,
10:58
Speaker 1: while we have a lot of risk for each other,
11:00
Speaker 1: we're not the closest of friends and there's nothing wrong
11:02
Speaker 1: with that. You know, people come in and out of
11:03
Speaker 1: your life. So I think that's sort of sort of
11:06
Speaker 1: more so where I was coming from. And I didn't
11:08
Speaker 1: definitely didn't mean to. But when all of a sudden
11:10
Speaker 1: I got thrown back on me. I had you, I
11:12
Speaker 1: had Nick Vial, which like reading messages out on his thing,
11:17
Speaker 1: whatever he's got to do for his you know, his
11:20
Speaker 1: socials and engagement and stuff, and then Tatia. It just
11:23
Speaker 1: was like a bombardment of misunder like misunderstandings at the time,
11:27
Speaker 1: and they sort of took things how they wanted to.
11:30
Speaker 1: But I mean, truly to you, I'm sorry for that,
11:32
Speaker 1: but I did just I mean, I was making sure
11:34
Speaker 1: that I didn't misspeak in that and say like, hey,
11:36
Speaker 1: since coming out, nobody's reached out to because that definitely
11:39
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been true. Yeah. Well yeah, and I you know,
11:44
Speaker 1: at this point, it is a if you were hurt
11:47
Speaker 1: by during that time, or if you felt isolated alone.
11:52
Speaker 1: I mean, you didn't make it easy in yourself. You
11:54
Speaker 1: change your number and you shut down your social media accounts,
11:57
Speaker 1: and so I mean I kept in touch with you
12:00
Speaker 1: from a distance, and I'm sure your friends that you're
12:02
Speaker 1: close friends, who do did you have your new number? Um?
12:06
Speaker 1: And did have access to you? Probably told you that
12:09
Speaker 1: It was not not often that I would have just
12:12
Speaker 1: asked him how is he doing? Like is he good?
12:14
Speaker 1: Is he okay? I do actually I do remember that
12:18
Speaker 1: Eric said, he said, Hey, I was just with Ben
12:20
Speaker 1: the other night and he wanted to check in on you.
12:21
Speaker 1: So I do, I do actually remember that. So I
12:23
Speaker 1: can't I can't say that. So and you've been You've
12:26
Speaker 1: always been a great human being and the same with
12:28
Speaker 1: you actually, Like I mean, I obviously wouldn't be sitting
12:30
Speaker 1: here if and I have respect for how you guys
12:33
Speaker 1: have gone through this franchise, because it's not an easy
12:36
Speaker 1: thing to go through. You both have handled it with
12:37
Speaker 1: grace and humility the entire time, no matter how you're
12:40
Speaker 1: being portrayed or what's going on in the media. So
12:43
Speaker 1: I mean, I at least owe that to you to say, like,
12:45
Speaker 1: I am sorry for how things happened in the in
12:48
Speaker 1: the precedent the media. And also you know, I didn't
12:50
Speaker 1: make it easy and I don't and that's something I'm
12:52
Speaker 1: still continuing to work on. Is I shut off and
12:55
Speaker 1: I shut down pretty quick when when things aren't good. Yeah,
12:58
Speaker 1: well it's water on the bridge. I'm glad we could
12:59
Speaker 1: tell about it, um, because once you talk about it,
13:03
Speaker 1: then there's no reason to to hold it in or
13:06
Speaker 1: to keep perpetuating the thing that happened. I just I
13:09
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure that when you came on that
13:11
Speaker 1: we we you knew that you weren't on an island alone. Um,
13:17
Speaker 1: that you you know that no matter how hard or
13:19
Speaker 1: no matter how many decisions that weren't great, and we're
13:24
Speaker 1: you know, talked about, we're happening maybe in your life
13:26
Speaker 1: that like your mental health and your stability and your
13:31
Speaker 1: ability to process and work towards things was not something
13:33
Speaker 1: that we neglected or said, hey, hey good for Colton.
13:36
Speaker 1: Screw you go run you know, run off on your
13:39
Speaker 1: own and and you know, fall off a bridge. Like
13:42
Speaker 1: that's not what all we were saying. In fact, like
13:45
Speaker 1: you know, I was hoping you heard and knew that,
13:47
Speaker 1: like we worked towards reaching out to you. UM, and
13:51
Speaker 1: that's why it hurt, because it was like, I don't
13:53
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on here. I don't know
13:54
Speaker 1: why this is being said. Um, that's not fair to
13:57
Speaker 1: anybody that tried to reach out. Is it makes people
14:01
Speaker 1: feel look like they didn't care. And that couldn't have
14:04
Speaker 1: been farther from the truth. And so that book is closed. UM,
14:09
Speaker 1: and now we can move by the way, which by
14:11
Speaker 1: the way, I have the gift you gave me right here.
14:13
Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh wait a second, So I actually was
14:16
Speaker 1: thinking about asking you this question. Holton is holding up
14:19
Speaker 1: a book about explain a little bit about what it's about.
14:26
Speaker 1: It's about. Um, after coming out, one of the things
14:29
Speaker 1: that Ben and I discussed was how I want to
14:33
Speaker 1: remain a Christian. And obviously after coming out, I had
14:38
Speaker 1: the internal battle of the homosexuality christian about and sort
14:42
Speaker 1: of battle that goes on. And Ben sent me the
14:45
Speaker 1: book by Kolby Martin called on Clover to help with
14:49
Speaker 1: my path and my road, um in you know, remaining
14:53
Speaker 1: a Christian and um, you know, wrestling the fact that
14:56
Speaker 1: you know I'm gay. So it's been a great resource.
15:00
Speaker 1: I'm not I will disclose. I'm not finished with it.
15:03
Speaker 1: I've come in and read chunks of it, very similar
15:05
Speaker 1: to how I treat my my Bible study and my
15:07
Speaker 1: marks there, read a chapter here, paragraph there. Um, But
15:12
Speaker 1: it's a journey that I'm still on. Yeah, just yeah,
15:15
Speaker 1: I mean I guess that, you know, the hope is
15:17
Speaker 1: that you, no matter what, you just don't feel alone
15:19
Speaker 1: in this Um. That's not fun, that's not ideal, and
15:21
Speaker 1: that's not good for anybody in this world. So I
15:33
Speaker 1: brought that up because, um, there are three things that, now,
15:37
Speaker 1: like six months removed from watching your documentary, I have
15:41
Speaker 1: that stuck with me. One it was the religion episode,
15:44
Speaker 1: which was like honestly fascinating, um, which you just kind
15:49
Speaker 1: of said you're still on that journey of kind of
15:52
Speaker 1: figuring out that. And two was the episode about you
15:59
Speaker 1: dating and get out there and like just dating in
16:03
Speaker 1: like the gay community, which you felt is like so
16:05
Speaker 1: much different. And I don't know why I found myself
16:08
Speaker 1: like relating to you so much in that episode because
16:12
Speaker 1: you were like, I am not like I don't want
16:15
Speaker 1: to be in two parties like this is like way
16:18
Speaker 1: too extroverted for me. And I was thinking I was like, oh, man,
16:23
Speaker 1: is this how like like why does he have to
16:26
Speaker 1: date like this? Like where it's like all just like
16:30
Speaker 1: a party. I don't know. And it made me nervous
16:33
Speaker 1: maybe yeah, the giant group dat made me nervous. For you, So,
16:36
Speaker 1: how did you come about meeting your fiance? Were you
16:41
Speaker 1: able to navigate the gay um dating world in a
16:46
Speaker 1: way that was just like maybe a little bit calmer. Also,
16:50
Speaker 1: congratulations on your engagement and congratulations that was what I
16:54
Speaker 1: was going to move into. And so we can process
16:56
Speaker 1: now and totally turn the table and say congratulations to
16:59
Speaker 1: you on your engagement. But okay, so yeah, oh gosh,
17:04
Speaker 1: well we'll get like light lighter now. But please tell
17:08
Speaker 1: me how like dating initially went. Oh jeez, I was
17:11
Speaker 1: so intimidated because what I knew of the gay community,
17:16
Speaker 1: which was very little, because I was so scared to
17:18
Speaker 1: even look in that direction because I didn't want to
17:20
Speaker 1: be called out or found out. Um, all I knew
17:24
Speaker 1: is it like they really enjoyed themselves in the gay community.
17:27
Speaker 1: They like to party and you know, do amazing things. Uh,
17:32
Speaker 1: And I didn't really know how to get into it.
17:34
Speaker 1: And that was obviously just showing how awkward I was
17:37
Speaker 1: in that group setting and how uncomfortable I still was
17:39
Speaker 1: with dating. And I actually truly honestly didn't date until
17:42
Speaker 1: after the show wrapped, like legitimately, and when it did,
17:47
Speaker 1: I went on. I think I went on two or
17:50
Speaker 1: three different dates, and I mean they went okay. It
17:54
Speaker 1: wasn't anything great, um, and with different people, two or
17:59
Speaker 1: three different people. Yeah. I think after coming out, I
18:02
Speaker 1: dated five people before I met Jordan's um, and a
18:06
Speaker 1: couple of them twice or three times. But it just
18:09
Speaker 1: was nothing like my connection was with Jordan when we
18:11
Speaker 1: first met and we met her a mutual friend here
18:13
Speaker 1: in l So. Um, it was just one of those
18:16
Speaker 1: things that we hit it off and we went on
18:18
Speaker 1: you know, there was a trip that a bunch of
18:20
Speaker 1: us went on together and the connection was there and
18:23
Speaker 1: it was just an awesome time. Okay. So when you
18:26
Speaker 1: did meet, was it like love at first sight? Was
18:30
Speaker 1: it like boom, oh my god, like I'm feeling this
18:32
Speaker 1: or was it a slow grow or like a slow
18:34
Speaker 1: word grow? It was obviously not slow. You guys got
18:37
Speaker 1: engaged after like six months? Yeah? No. Um, And once
18:40
Speaker 1: again another amazing part that I can thank the Bachelor
18:43
Speaker 1: franchise for because I didn't like when I I dated
18:46
Speaker 1: with so much intent now, which I think that's why
18:48
Speaker 1: it's so easy for me to move through the first
18:50
Speaker 1: few people that I was dating, because I was like, Okay,
18:52
Speaker 1: I asked the I asked questions, and I bring up
18:55
Speaker 1: topics that a lot of couples hold on too until
18:58
Speaker 1: they're like two, three or four months into dating. And
19:00
Speaker 1: that is because of just sort of what I went
19:03
Speaker 1: through the last two years. So um, we moved pretty quickly,
19:08
Speaker 1: and I would say like, yes, I was looking, but
19:10
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I was looking for that right away,
19:12
Speaker 1: and when it happened, I just didn't want to hold back.
19:14
Speaker 1: There was no there was no holding back for me.
19:16
Speaker 1: There was no playing at safe. I was going to
19:19
Speaker 1: be criticized one way or another, you know, by the
19:21
Speaker 1: public of coming out and getting engaged too soon, or
19:24
Speaker 1: whether you know I came out and they saw me
19:27
Speaker 1: at clubs and who, Like I mean, I was gonna
19:29
Speaker 1: get shamed or hate for either route that I decided
19:32
Speaker 1: to choose. And I chose my happiness and somebody who
19:35
Speaker 1: makes me extremely happy and somebody who I extremely happy
19:39
Speaker 1: and we have an amazing life together. He's so supportive.
19:42
Speaker 1: I can't say enough good things about him. But it
19:44
Speaker 1: was truly like this. I mean, it was so easy
19:48
Speaker 1: and so natural and so meant to be and there
19:50
Speaker 1: was no holding back the and and I don't know
19:54
Speaker 1: if I have the timeline here correct um, but when
19:58
Speaker 1: you are in the public spotlight, dating can be difficult.
20:03
Speaker 1: And I remember on this podcast reading a headline that
20:08
Speaker 1: you were on a trip was somebody that was rumored
20:11
Speaker 1: to be your like boyfriend or partner or like I
20:16
Speaker 1: don't even know if they called it that yet, or
20:17
Speaker 1: like that you're interested in so like now that you
20:21
Speaker 1: just told us the story of you went on a
20:22
Speaker 1: trip and then the sparks flew like that had to
20:24
Speaker 1: be very early on in your relationship. Did it make
20:29
Speaker 1: it weird? Did it put a hard pressure on it?
20:31
Speaker 1: Or was it like let's just dive in and go.
20:33
Speaker 1: Like how was your reaction to these headlines that came
20:35
Speaker 1: out so quickly after you started, you know, dating? Oh gosh,
20:40
Speaker 1: I I did not like it. I mean I sort
20:44
Speaker 1: of I just wanted to protect our bubble and what
20:47
Speaker 1: we what we were building and having together. And like
20:50
Speaker 1: I so vividly I know what you mean. We were
20:52
Speaker 1: in Hawaii at the time, and I know exactly who
20:55
Speaker 1: it was filming and taking the picture because it was
20:58
Speaker 1: a private ish resort um. And when that got leaked,
21:02
Speaker 1: you know, I just my heart sunk for a second.
21:04
Speaker 1: But then also I remember, like, look, you are the
21:07
Speaker 1: creator of your own happiness, like so, so the old
21:10
Speaker 1: Culton would have retaliated in the press or done something
21:14
Speaker 1: on my social media. But then like, it doesn't matter
21:16
Speaker 1: what the headlines saying with the public things like I
21:18
Speaker 1: just wanted to be happy. But I do remember like
21:21
Speaker 1: it was just it was a little upsetting that I
21:23
Speaker 1: got out, just because I would have rather handle it
21:25
Speaker 1: how I needed, how mentally and how we both agreed
21:28
Speaker 1: that we wanted to handle it. But once again, you
21:30
Speaker 1: can't like as much as we wanted to try to hide,
21:33
Speaker 1: it was going to come out one way or another. Well,
21:36
Speaker 1: tell us about the proposal. Who proposed? Uh, he proposed
21:40
Speaker 1: to me, and so did you. Great we did ended
21:45
Speaker 1: up doing necklaces. So we have our burst stones and
21:48
Speaker 1: our first initial and then they're interlocked on our necklaces.
21:52
Speaker 1: And I did not expect we had. We obviously had
21:55
Speaker 1: a conversation um prior to saying like, look, I think
21:59
Speaker 1: we're both ready, or we didn't say I think we're
22:01
Speaker 1: both ready, and I just said, like, look, I would
22:05
Speaker 1: love to be surprised, just whenever you feel like that is.
22:08
Speaker 1: And after my careiode pir day. We went on a
22:10
Speaker 1: trip and it was an amazing surprise and an amazing weekend.
22:14
Speaker 1: Can you walk me through I'm ignorant to this colton? Um?
22:18
Speaker 1: Like how like how did you know that he was
22:20
Speaker 1: going to propose to you? Like, how like did that
22:23
Speaker 1: process go where you said, I want to be surprised.
22:25
Speaker 1: I want to be the person getting asked. It was
22:29
Speaker 1: just a conversation that we had. Um, I mean they're there.
22:32
Speaker 1: I think that's what's also beautiful about being gay is
22:35
Speaker 1: there's really no rules and there's no um like expectations
22:41
Speaker 1: of gender roles now like of like the man has
22:45
Speaker 1: to do this, woman has to do this. And so
22:48
Speaker 1: we just had the open and honest conversation and I
22:50
Speaker 1: was like I came from a pastor. I was always
22:52
Speaker 1: expected to get down on a knee and he um,
22:55
Speaker 1: he and his past had um some things that both
22:59
Speaker 1: made our conversation and lead to hey, when you're when
23:02
Speaker 1: when you feel I'm giving you the trust in the
23:04
Speaker 1: power to say, hey, when you feel like the time
23:05
Speaker 1: is right, you asked me and that was and he agreed,
23:08
Speaker 1: and it's like that sounds great. I appreciate that. So
23:10
Speaker 1: it's just a healthy conversation. But it's an example of
23:14
Speaker 1: our communication. Yeah, I was gonna say, it's an example
23:16
Speaker 1: of your communication amongst each other. Is um is being
23:20
Speaker 1: able to talk through that those stuff. There's big decisions
23:22
Speaker 1: in life. Yeah, I mean, that's That's one thing that
23:25
Speaker 1: really struck me with with Jordan is the way that
23:28
Speaker 1: we communicate in the way that we um. We sort
23:33
Speaker 1: of knit problems in the bud so like before it
23:35
Speaker 1: becomes a big issue in our relationship, we already just ahead.
23:37
Speaker 1: You know. That didn't make me feel great. I didn't
23:39
Speaker 1: like that, which is a little new to me. Um
23:42
Speaker 1: As as far as having that direct conversation in a relationship,
23:46
Speaker 1: you don't have to guess what the other person is thinking.
23:47
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, can you work on this? Can you
23:50
Speaker 1: work on that? And there's nothing We'll never get to
23:52
Speaker 1: a point where we're trying to change one another, but
23:54
Speaker 1: it's it's just such a healthy dynamic and it's something
23:56
Speaker 1: that I just really appreciate and didn't know that I
23:59
Speaker 1: needed need to work on that myself. Jessica just said yesterday,
24:03
Speaker 1: she goes, it feels like you've been off the last
24:04
Speaker 1: couple days like I have. She's like, why don't you
24:06
Speaker 1: tell me? And I was like, I don't know. I
24:08
Speaker 1: just felt like it was easier to run away. Um, yeah,
24:11
Speaker 1: I need to work on that's what does too. Okay,
24:16
Speaker 1: let's talk about the conversation that you guys have must
24:19
Speaker 1: have had about kids, because I know that that is
24:22
Speaker 1: something that you want. Is it important to you? So
24:24
Speaker 1: where do you stand there with Jordan's Well, I had
24:27
Speaker 1: to do a lot of research into figuring out how
24:30
Speaker 1: the kid's process worked. And now that i'm that, I'm
24:33
Speaker 1: out and happily in a gay relationship. Um yeah, so
24:36
Speaker 1: we thinking adoption? Are we thinking, you know, sarrogate, We're
24:40
Speaker 1: thinking sag. Yeah. So there's a lot of work that
24:43
Speaker 1: goes into that. I did not know all of the
24:46
Speaker 1: all of the steps, and um, I'm really really excited
24:49
Speaker 1: about that the process and it's pretty, um scientifically unbelievable
24:55
Speaker 1: the amount of choices you get to make now when
24:57
Speaker 1: it comes to building your embryos. So it's a very
25:01
Speaker 1: it's a very very exciting process and something that we're
25:03
Speaker 1: excited to start and we have not started yet, but
25:05
Speaker 1: we've had the conversation too started and figure out what
25:08
Speaker 1: that's gonna look like. Timeline wise, cool in your last
25:11
Speaker 1: two years are insane, I mean really like, there's so
25:14
Speaker 1: much has happened, and you know, I don't know what
25:17
Speaker 1: your timeline is for kids, but add kids in the
25:19
Speaker 1: you know, two and a half year mark, and I
25:22
Speaker 1: don't know how you're ever going to speed back up
25:25
Speaker 1: to the pace that life has been running for you,
25:27
Speaker 1: because it's not only you know that you came out
25:29
Speaker 1: that you had a Netflix documentary UM, that you processed
25:34
Speaker 1: a lot and like, as you mentioned, internally and emotionally
25:37
Speaker 1: and had to work through a lot of things personally.
25:40
Speaker 1: But then you have a new show coming out on
25:42
Speaker 1: CBS UH, and it's one of the reasons that you're
25:44
Speaker 1: here with us today is a talk about this show.
25:46
Speaker 1: I believe it's called Beyond the Edge UM on CBS UH.
25:53
Speaker 1: I guess my first question, the one and most intrigued by,
25:55
Speaker 1: is how in the world did you find time to
25:57
Speaker 1: film anything right now with all these other things going well?
26:02
Speaker 1: To be honest with you, I went into filming for
26:04
Speaker 1: this UM. I would say a few months after my
26:10
Speaker 1: Netflix show wrapped, UM, just because I sort of said
26:13
Speaker 1: to my my business team, is like, I sort of
26:17
Speaker 1: just need something light and fun and I want to
26:19
Speaker 1: like decompress a little bit because these last two years
26:22
Speaker 1: have been so heavy and for me. So I was like,
26:24
Speaker 1: can you can you find something that maybe I can
26:27
Speaker 1: go work on and has a charity component. And this
26:30
Speaker 1: show came up called Beyond the Edge and um it
26:34
Speaker 1: was competition outdoors and for charity, and I said, sign
26:38
Speaker 1: me up please. And it's no secret. I mean I
26:42
Speaker 1: like being on TV. I like the entertainment industry. I
26:44
Speaker 1: love being involved in it. UM. So I wanted to
26:47
Speaker 1: to stay in it. UM. And I will say this
26:52
Speaker 1: like it was a It was a decision that I
26:54
Speaker 1: had to talk through not only with with my team,
26:57
Speaker 1: but my family too, just because I was still in
26:59
Speaker 1: such a wrongvulnerable place after filming that show. But I
27:03
Speaker 1: got and I still am in therapy. I got the
27:05
Speaker 1: help that I needed and really stayed on track and
27:07
Speaker 1: on focus and it's an integral part of my schedule
27:09
Speaker 1: now just to make sure that I can stay mentally
27:12
Speaker 1: as healthy as I can while balancing all of these things. Um.
27:17
Speaker 1: But the show is unbelievable and I mean we can
27:19
Speaker 1: get into that too if you want. But as far
27:21
Speaker 1: as the balance of life right now, just trying to
27:25
Speaker 1: find that rhythm and that routine of what works for
27:27
Speaker 1: me and what doesn't UM has has really helped. Okay.
27:42
Speaker 1: So I said earlier that there was three things that
27:45
Speaker 1: stood out to me about the documentary six months removed,
27:47
Speaker 1: and now I realized there's for Can I talk about
27:50
Speaker 1: the last two? Yeah, let's go for it. So I
27:52
Speaker 1: know we need to talk more about the CBS show,
27:54
Speaker 1: but I do feel like I'm hung up on your
27:57
Speaker 1: last and then we can go to the future. UM. Okay.
28:01
Speaker 1: So your relationship with your dad, he headlines came out
28:05
Speaker 1: then that he did not appreciate you coming out to
28:08
Speaker 1: him on camera. First off, what did you think that
28:11
Speaker 1: the documentary was about? Like? How did you hide this
28:13
Speaker 1: for so long? And secondly, I just want to say
28:16
Speaker 1: that was pretty awesome to see how your relationship evolved
28:19
Speaker 1: throughout those ex episodes. He became very supportive and I'm
28:22
Speaker 1: assuming that he's very supportive of Jordan's and you now
28:25
Speaker 1: but first let's go back to how did he get
28:27
Speaker 1: over you coming out to him on film? Yeah, well,
28:33
Speaker 1: I think to understand that. I'll back up a little
28:35
Speaker 1: bit too, because the documentary I didn't like completely seek out. Um.
28:42
Speaker 1: What ended up happening was I was already working with
28:44
Speaker 1: this production company on another show that involved a completely
28:49
Speaker 1: different group of people prior to me going through sort
28:52
Speaker 1: of my spiral down. Once that happened, I dropped, like
28:56
Speaker 1: Ben said, I changed my number and moved back to Colorado,
28:59
Speaker 1: dropped off the face to the earth and handled my
29:02
Speaker 1: you know, what I was going through mentally private, very privately. Um.
29:06
Speaker 1: And they had enough information from working with me in
29:10
Speaker 1: the past to realize, you know, at that time, I
29:11
Speaker 1: was being blackmailed. At that time, there was a you know,
29:14
Speaker 1: a handful of people running around l A saying I
29:17
Speaker 1: was gay. So they sort of figured out the pieces
29:20
Speaker 1: and they when they reapproached me, they're just saying, hey,
29:23
Speaker 1: you know, we would love to take this on if
29:26
Speaker 1: you ever feel like you have you want to come out,
29:28
Speaker 1: like let us know and like sort of wink wink,
29:31
Speaker 1: like we'll be here for you. Is the production companies
29:33
Speaker 1: ran by two gay men and I trusted them, um,
29:37
Speaker 1: and after conversations of how we were going to handle this,
29:40
Speaker 1: I felt comfortable enough to put my family in that position,
29:43
Speaker 1: because it is a very uncomfortable position to be put in, um,
29:46
Speaker 1: and that goes for everybody who was on the show.
29:49
Speaker 1: So to answer your question directly, now, I just told
29:52
Speaker 1: my dad it was a pick up off of where
29:55
Speaker 1: Life After the Bachelor, I mean basically the show that
29:58
Speaker 1: changed my life, and I obviously went through a lot
30:01
Speaker 1: that a lot of people didn't understand. There was a
30:04
Speaker 1: lot of headlines out there that were Falster's headlines out
30:07
Speaker 1: there that were true. There was just so much out
30:09
Speaker 1: there about me that this was sort of, you know,
30:11
Speaker 1: my opportunity to say, hey, here's who I am, this
30:14
Speaker 1: is what's been going on, um inside of me. So
30:17
Speaker 1: he just thought it was sort of a like, uh,
30:19
Speaker 1: talk through things and life after series or recap regroup. Um.
30:24
Speaker 1: He didn't know much about the series, but that just
30:26
Speaker 1: shows you how supportive my parents were from the very beginning.
30:30
Speaker 1: So then how did he feel when you actually had
30:32
Speaker 1: that conversation with him on camera? Uh, Well it wasn't shown,
30:36
Speaker 1: but he actually I think he needed a sex So
30:39
Speaker 1: the cameras went down, um, and just regrouped and then
30:42
Speaker 1: came back, you know, they came back on and we
30:44
Speaker 1: had the conversation. Um. That was one thing that I
30:47
Speaker 1: really appreciated since working with a couple of different production
30:51
Speaker 1: companies now is they've really allowed to put the human
30:53
Speaker 1: element first, where it's like, hey, instead of what you
30:56
Speaker 1: think might make great TV, like give my dad a second,
30:59
Speaker 1: like he needs time to process this, and then once
31:01
Speaker 1: it comes back, you know. And it wasn't very long,
31:04
Speaker 1: he and there wasn't a conversation that really took place
31:06
Speaker 1: like in that dead time, but um, you know, I
31:12
Speaker 1: get what I get where he's coming from, where he's
31:13
Speaker 1: like it would have been nice to him to just
31:15
Speaker 1: come out to me privately. But we also I think
31:17
Speaker 1: in that same article, he was like, we also understand
31:19
Speaker 1: that this is a life he chose, Like he he
31:21
Speaker 1: loves the TV industry and being on it, so that
31:24
Speaker 1: that's sort of wed. We knew what we were signing
31:26
Speaker 1: up for. And then how's his relationship with Jordan's It's good, Um,
31:31
Speaker 1: it really is. And I was very very nervous, but
31:34
Speaker 1: I think what really made me feel the most comfortable
31:36
Speaker 1: is Jordan came to meet my family very quickly. Um,
31:40
Speaker 1: and they treated him and once again, I don't know
31:44
Speaker 1: if this is okay to say, but they treated him
31:47
Speaker 1: like they would if I brought a girl home, you know,
31:49
Speaker 1: like there was no there was no difference, There was
31:53
Speaker 1: no making him feel awkward or not asking questions like
31:57
Speaker 1: they asked him the same questions that they would have
31:59
Speaker 1: asked if I brought a girl. I just thought that
32:01
Speaker 1: was the most amazing part of all of it. Yeah,
32:04
Speaker 1: because as much as you're learning, and you mentioned earlier
32:06
Speaker 1: you were learning a lot at this time, they were
32:08
Speaker 1: learning as well and trying to figure out, you know, Okay,
32:12
Speaker 1: how do we best support Colton, how do we best
32:14
Speaker 1: support Jordan, how we best support their relationship? And so
32:17
Speaker 1: the fact that they chose that even is says so
32:21
Speaker 1: much about them that they chose to go on that
32:24
Speaker 1: path and say, Okay, we're not going to do this perfectly.
32:25
Speaker 1: We might need to take a second, we might need
32:27
Speaker 1: to just like you know, reality for us has changed
32:30
Speaker 1: a bit, but let's take a second come back, And
32:31
Speaker 1: that that does speak a lot to who they are.
32:34
Speaker 1: First off, it's very sweet to see what your face
32:35
Speaker 1: looks like when you talk about Jordan's it definitely lights up.
32:38
Speaker 1: It's very cute. Uh. And then the other standout was
32:42
Speaker 1: that you talk about Cassie reaching out to you and
32:47
Speaker 1: how she hadn't reached out to you, and like your
32:49
Speaker 1: dad was like, I think she's going to reach out
32:50
Speaker 1: to you today. My lingering question was if that was
32:54
Speaker 1: like a topic of conversation, did you why didn't you
32:58
Speaker 1: reach out to her for what? In the documentary? In
33:03
Speaker 1: the documentary, but when you came out, when you came out,
33:06
Speaker 1: you were like you came out without telling her that
33:09
Speaker 1: you were getting first. So why didn't you tell her
33:13
Speaker 1: before we made a public because we weren't in a
33:16
Speaker 1: position of speaking to each other. Yeah, so just legal,
33:20
Speaker 1: legal wise, we couldn't. It couldn't be done. Okay, I
33:23
Speaker 1: thought I thought that might be why. But I just
33:25
Speaker 1: wanted there can say this because I think it's out there.
33:28
Speaker 1: There was. We offered her to come on the show,
33:33
Speaker 1: to like sit down and have a conversation whatever that
33:36
Speaker 1: looked like what however she wanted to handle that too, Um,
33:39
Speaker 1: but it just wasn't it just I don't think it
33:42
Speaker 1: was in the cards. And I think she's moved on
33:44
Speaker 1: and happy in her life and yeah, you know, I'm
33:46
Speaker 1: obviously in a great place now, So okay, I just
33:48
Speaker 1: wanted to get that clear, like there was probably a
33:51
Speaker 1: legal thing. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. Well, given given that framework
33:55
Speaker 1: to Colton for where your lives are at, I just
33:59
Speaker 1: have a feeling Tomorrow night will not be easy on
34:01
Speaker 1: either of you. Um that you know, it's it's national
34:06
Speaker 1: television and I just watched the finale of this season
34:09
Speaker 1: and that's going to be you know, the crazy enough
34:13
Speaker 1: and um, it will just be an interesting night where
34:17
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of processing. Are
34:19
Speaker 1: you gonna watch it? Um? Are you going to tune in?
34:21
Speaker 1: How are you going to handle knowing that your name
34:23
Speaker 1: is definitely gonna be out there come you know Wednesday morning?
34:27
Speaker 1: Oh well, I don't know. I mean my text with
34:29
Speaker 1: the with the producers said it was she was gonna
34:32
Speaker 1: be speaking on a panel and that she doesn't foresee
34:34
Speaker 1: my name being brought up. So I mean I've heard
34:37
Speaker 1: that before and it took a completely different shift. Um.
34:39
Speaker 1: So mentally though I'm in a much better place, this
34:43
Speaker 1: is a very similar situation to write before my my spiral. Yeah, Um,
34:47
Speaker 1: you know where I reached out to the producer and
34:49
Speaker 1: sort of begged him not to like contribute to my
34:52
Speaker 1: my mental downfall. But you know, I'm I'm in a
34:54
Speaker 1: really healthy spot now. I have a you know, the
34:57
Speaker 1: love of my life to support me. I have my
34:59
Speaker 1: family to support me. I have a great group of friends,
35:02
Speaker 1: and you know, I'm I'm not gonna watch, but I'm
35:05
Speaker 1: also like, you know, excited if if that, you know,
35:08
Speaker 1: if that's what she needs to do, whatever that looks like,
35:11
Speaker 1: then so be it. Yeah, well, I uh, I also
35:15
Speaker 1: I think I was thinking about this. I misspoke earlier.
35:17
Speaker 1: The producers have texted me the last three years. In fact,
35:19
Speaker 1: a couple of them came to my wedding, so I
35:21
Speaker 1: know I was texting with them then, so this is
35:23
Speaker 1: maybe not about this show. And then I went on
35:24
Speaker 1: the Matt season, which is probably yeah, I know, which
35:28
Speaker 1: was probably two years ago. I went on Match. I'm saying,
35:30
Speaker 1: when my name gets brought up or when there's like
35:33
Speaker 1: clippets of stuff, I don't get the heads up. Like
35:36
Speaker 1: but I mean, granted, not too many people from my
35:39
Speaker 1: season are still coming on the show, so I don't
35:41
Speaker 1: know why. Well, like, like for example, I got you know,
35:44
Speaker 1: I was the worst kisser, I guess in Paradise. I
35:47
Speaker 1: didn't get the heads up for that episode coming out.
35:49
Speaker 1: Now it makes sense to people while I wasn't a
35:51
Speaker 1: great kisser, the yeah, that's that's actually that's good for you. Um. Alright,
35:58
Speaker 1: So back to CBS, UM, what fans look forward to?
36:01
Speaker 1: They're gonna watch you again as we close up here,
36:03
Speaker 1: what can they look forward to with this show? With
36:05
Speaker 1: watching you on television? Who else is involved? Give us
36:08
Speaker 1: the best sales pitch for why people should tune into
36:10
Speaker 1: Beyond the Edge. Well, on the show, it's Ray Lewis,
36:14
Speaker 1: Metal World Piece, Jody Sweeten, Ebony Williams, Paulina Porreskova, Um,
36:20
Speaker 1: Lauren Elena, and Craig Morgan Forgetting Somebody, Oh, Mike Singletary
36:25
Speaker 1: as well. Um. And it's a show about putting our
36:30
Speaker 1: differences aside and coming together and working together to raise
36:33
Speaker 1: money for our respective charities. And while there's competitions every
36:38
Speaker 1: single day and money up for grabs, we are there
36:41
Speaker 1: um on our own. We are there um for as
36:44
Speaker 1: long as we feel like in our hearts we need
36:46
Speaker 1: to be there both mentally and physically. So there's no
36:49
Speaker 1: elimination process other than ringing the bell. And when you
36:52
Speaker 1: ring the bell, you're done, you pack up and you leave.
36:55
Speaker 1: So you come and really just push yourself. You push
36:57
Speaker 1: your your body, you push your yourself mentally, and it's
37:01
Speaker 1: just interesting to see how different people from different walks
37:04
Speaker 1: of life can come together and support one another. And
37:06
Speaker 1: I think that is so needed right now in our society.
37:09
Speaker 1: So it was honestly one of the best decisions I
37:13
Speaker 1: made to go onto that show and something that I
37:15
Speaker 1: truly needed in that moment. So when can fans tune in?
37:20
Speaker 1: Fans can tune in on Wednesday nights. I think a
37:23
Speaker 1: follow a Survivor on Wednesday nights. And then I've been
37:25
Speaker 1: in four different time zones now this week, so I
37:27
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what what time zone you know, Pacific
37:31
Speaker 1: time or Standard time whatever it comes on, but it's
37:33
Speaker 1: right after a Survivor, I think, okay, it's probably a
37:35
Speaker 1: ten Eastern then I'm assuming. So, what was one thing
37:40
Speaker 1: that truly drove you beyond the edge? Just to give
37:43
Speaker 1: a little easier. I'm very particular in the way that
37:47
Speaker 1: I sleep. I need air conditioning, I need white noise.
37:50
Speaker 1: I need very badly. If you remember, um so We're
37:59
Speaker 1: literally slipping bamboo in the rain like it was, and
38:03
Speaker 1: it's all I mean, we had cameras everywhere, so you're
38:06
Speaker 1: gonna see it. And it was brutal, mentally draining and exhausting.
38:11
Speaker 1: I put ten pounds on before I left for the show,
38:13
Speaker 1: just because, like I knew, I wasn't gonna be eating
38:15
Speaker 1: a whole lot um. So it's like the opposite of Paradise,
38:18
Speaker 1: where I gained ten pounds on accident. I put it
38:21
Speaker 1: on to go out to the jungle to try to
38:23
Speaker 1: embrace it, but it was it was wild. Um. I
38:26
Speaker 1: would say I was really intimidated by a lot of
38:28
Speaker 1: the puzzle challenges, and you know, I think I was
38:31
Speaker 1: probably I think I left the most proud of how
38:33
Speaker 1: I've performed in those Okay, alright, well, Colton, thank you
38:37
Speaker 1: for being here. It was we got a lot of answers, um,
38:42
Speaker 1: a lot of questions answered today and we're very happy
38:45
Speaker 1: for you. Congratulations well, and thank you guys for your support.
38:48
Speaker 1: And then also sorry for the obviously the misunderstanding, the
38:52
Speaker 1: lies or whatever it shook out to be in the press.
38:55
Speaker 1: I just um, I'll make sure you have my new
38:58
Speaker 1: number two so you can and we can text each other. Yeah. Well,
39:04
Speaker 1: and uh, you know that wasn't you know. I appreciate
39:06
Speaker 1: that a lot that you say you're sorry, but that
39:08
Speaker 1: you know that this wasn't about me. UM. I was
39:11
Speaker 1: like a small piece that felt like I was like,
39:13
Speaker 1: woke up one morning, I was like, what the heck
39:15
Speaker 1: is happening? Why am I now UM thrown into this?
39:20
Speaker 1: And uh, you know, so I appreciate that that that
39:23
Speaker 1: you apologize. I appreciate you coming on here and and
39:25
Speaker 1: and being big enough to to even confront it, UM.
39:29
Speaker 1: But ultimately, you know, it's water under the bridge. Now,
39:31
Speaker 1: I'm glad we could talk it through. And I'm I'm
39:33
Speaker 1: glad we're on the same page because I know just
39:36
Speaker 1: as well as you do how messy this can get
39:38
Speaker 1: when you are talking UM through media and when you
39:42
Speaker 1: are talking through things like this. So I'm glad you
39:44
Speaker 1: come on. UM. Hey, I think it's important Colton, if
39:47
Speaker 1: you don't mind, as we close out here, the last
39:50
Speaker 1: and final thing word would be just anybody listening UM
39:55
Speaker 1: who was struggling UM. And And I maybe even want
39:58
Speaker 1: to expand because I think you probably have a lot
39:59
Speaker 1: of insight now UM into many different aspects of life.
40:03
Speaker 1: Maybe it is your sexuality, maybe it is career changes.
40:07
Speaker 1: Maybe it is just feeling lonely and isolated due to
40:11
Speaker 1: not being accepted at school for whatever reason. What message
40:15
Speaker 1: have you learned that you would share to any listener
40:17
Speaker 1: out there who you could probably relate with with your
40:19
Speaker 1: story of the last two years. I think it would
40:23
Speaker 1: go in hand with what you were saying out at
40:25
Speaker 1: the top of this is like you wanted to make
40:27
Speaker 1: me feel like I wasn't alone and I felt really alone, um,
40:31
Speaker 1: despite people going out of their way to try to
40:34
Speaker 1: make me not feel alone. So I think sharing the
40:36
Speaker 1: message that trust people UM give people in your and
40:41
Speaker 1: your family and in your circle a chance UM to
40:44
Speaker 1: try to lean on them and you aren't alone in
40:47
Speaker 1: all of this. And then also, there's no shame in
40:49
Speaker 1: asking for help when you're at your lowest, when you're
40:51
Speaker 1: at your weakness, when you feel like giving up. It's
40:54
Speaker 1: okay to ask for help, It's okay to seek help,
40:56
Speaker 1: and um, it doesn't make you weak and it doesn't
40:59
Speaker 1: make you any ser than another human being just because
41:02
Speaker 1: you can't handle that moment of life that you're in
41:04
Speaker 1: and no matter how dark it gets, there's always you know,
41:08
Speaker 1: there's always the next day, in the next hour, in
41:10
Speaker 1: the next moment. Could Underwood, thanks are coming on this
41:14
Speaker 1: episode of the Almost Famous podcast. Um again, tune in
41:18
Speaker 1: the CBS after Survivor for Beyond the Edge you can
41:20
Speaker 1: see Colton. They're also tune into the finale of The Bachelor,
41:24
Speaker 1: because even if you haven't watched all season, this is
41:26
Speaker 1: by far the wildest finale I've ever seen. I don't
41:29
Speaker 1: have a lot of words to wrap around it because
41:30
Speaker 1: whatever I say is going to be taken wrong and
41:32
Speaker 1: you know, manipulated to be something it's not. But I
41:35
Speaker 1: just will say wow and holy cow, and I haven't
41:39
Speaker 1: seen it and I can't wait. Your teasers are amazing. Yeah,
41:42
Speaker 1: so um tune in that. But again, Colton, thanks for
41:45
Speaker 1: joining us with that. This has been an episode of
41:47
Speaker 1: the Almost Famous Podcast in depth episode with Colton Underwood.
41:51
Speaker 1: I've Been Been, I've Been Ashley, and I've Been Colton,
41:55
Speaker 1: Perfect Fall, the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts
42:02
Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.