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What Happens When You Choose Trust Over Control · Purpose of Heart Podcast

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Purpose of Heart of the Podcast, where real stories meet God's promises.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Priscilla Allman, and every week we dive into powerful conversations about purpose and depression.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And more.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever asked God, where are you in this?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're in the right place.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to follow the show.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And let's find purpose together.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hi.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And welcome back to Purpose of Heart, the podcast.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Priscilla Allman, and today we're gonna talk about something we all probably struggle with at some point in time in our lives, if not most of it, even if we really don't want to admit.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that thing is control.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Not the obvious kind, though, not the loud, demanding kind, the quiet kind.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: The kind that tries to manage outcomes.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: The kind that replays conversations, the kind that wants certainty before obedience.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: The kind that says, I'll trust God as long as I can.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'll trust God as long as such and such happens.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'll trust God as long as I can steer clear of this or go in this direction.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: So here's our question for today.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: What happens when you choose trust over control?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because that choice changes everything.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be honest, control feels safe, right?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: But it's really an illusion.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: If I can plan enough, if I can prepare enough, if I can't anticipate and overthink every possible scenario, then maybe I won't get hurt.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I won't fail.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I won't be disappointed.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the truth: control often is anxiety in disguise.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: We try to control because we're afraid.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: We don't like unknowns.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Afraid of loss, afraid of uncertainty, afraid of being vulnerable.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: But this scripture has been coming up quite a bit lately.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, you know what?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's my grandmother's was her favorite verse and passage of scripture.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And she did well.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: She lived almost a hundred and one years.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And growing up around her, I saw how much she placed her faith in God and how much that not only influenced and impacted her life, but also the lives of the people who she mentored and influenced.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's this verse, Proverbs 3, 5 and 6.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Notice what it doesn't say.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't say understand everything first.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't say control every detail.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: It says trust.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that can be hard.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: It can be hard in life, especially sometimes if things have gone wrong or went sideways or however you didn't think it was gonna go or shouldn't have gone or this, that, and the next.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: But one thing that I try to remind myself of is the character of who I am trusting in.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm trusting that God is good, that he loves me, that he wants good things for me, that he's a good father, that wants to give his children good gifts, that he has good plans for my life.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I repeat those scriptures to myself, especially in times where the thing that I'm doing is new or a little scary, or I'm going and doing things that no one I know has ever done before.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sort of going in uncharted pathways.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing in who I am, in whom I'm put putting my trust, is a helpful way in order to stay grounded and make this verse, right, to trust in him with all of my heart, right?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And not lean into my own understanding, to always acknowledge him, knowing that he wants to direct my path.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: One of the biggest misconceptions about trust is that it's emotional.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: But biblical trust is a choice.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's choosing to rely on God's character when the circumstances are unclear.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Psalms 27 says, some trust in chariots, some in horses, but we will remember the name of the Lord our God.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: In modern language, we could say, some trust in strategies, some trust in savings accounts, some trust in connections, some trust in influence.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: But we will trust in the Lord.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now don't get me wrong.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean that preparation is wrong.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you have a test, you need to study.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: You do not need to be out here saying, I'm just trusting in the Lord.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: He's not just gonna give you answers by osmosis, okay?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: If there's something that you legitimately need to prepare for and make ready, right, you need to do your due diligence.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: But it means that our confidence doesn't rest in our preparation and the things that we can do alone.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Control exhausts, trust restores.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed how exhausting it is to try and control everything?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know why, my friend?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's because we can't.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have that kind of power.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: So why are we pretending?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like we don't even control our own breathing.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's only the Lord's mercy is that we wake up every morning and our heart beats through the night that we, you know, wake up and can walk and move around and do whatever it is that we do.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: We don't control that.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have a choice as to whether our heart beats.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: We're always being sustained by him.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Control requires constant mental energy.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of keeps you in the loop of what if?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Trust, on the other hand, creates room to breathe.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Isaiah 26, 3.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Peace follows trust, not clarity, not control, peace.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: When you choose trust over control, your nervous system calms, your thoughts soften, and your striving decreases because you realize you were never meant to carry the weight of everything.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: If anyone had a reason to try and control the outcome, it was Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Luke 22, 42.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Father, if it is your will, take this cup away from me.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Nevertheless, not my will but yours be done.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus modeled surrender.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not denial of difficulty, not pretending it wouldn't hurt or be an awful thing.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: But surrendering the outcome control of the outcome to the Father, knowing why he was doing what he was doing for the love of us.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what's powerful: it wasn't weakness, it was strength rooted in relationship.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make this practical.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: What gonna happen when we release control?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your reactions can become calmer.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of panicking, you pause.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Philippians 4, 6 to 7.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Trust turns panic into prayer.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: And think about what a promise this is.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're told to be anxious for nothing.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we're told by prayer, by supplication, by asking with giving thanks, we can let our requests be made known unto God.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, like we can't understand this, will guard our hearts and minds in Him.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Control often strains relationships, right?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: We try to manage people's responses, we try to shape outcomes or predict reactions, but trust allows space.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Romans 12, 18, if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Notice the phrase, as much as depends on you.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Trust accepts that not everything depends on you.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: When you trust more, you stop forcing what God hasn't confirmed.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes control can look like pushing doors open, right?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Making things happen, using your connections, doing the things that you need to do.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: But trust waits for alignment.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Psalm 37, 5, commit your way to the Lord.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: When something is truly from God, you don't have to manipulate it into existence.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: He will also make a way for you.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm reminded of that song that says, God will make a way where there seems to be no way.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: He works in ways we cannot see.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: He will make a way for me.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: He will be my guide, hold me closely to his side.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: With love and strength for each new day, he will make a way.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: And those lyrics are something that we can remind ourselves with, along with Scripture, that He's for us.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why is control so hard to release?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk honestly.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Control can feel responsible, okay, can feel mature or proactive.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a subtle difference between responsibility and self-reliance.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Jeremiah 17, 7 through 8.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Blessed is the man who trust in the Lord and whose hope is in the Lord, for he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, and will not fear when heat comes.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Trust it doesn't prevent heat.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: It stabilizes you in it.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So when anxiety rises, instead of immediately problem solving, going to all of these other people for so many different opinions or freaking out, pause and pray.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Ask God for guidance.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Ask, is this mine to manage, or is it God's?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes releasing the outcome verbally to say, like, Lord, I'm trusting you with this.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: But like even if you don't say it out loud, but you think it in your mind, like, Lord, I know you love me, you have plans for good, I'm trusting you to sort of interrupt whatever is going on in your mind.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Reflect on past moments when God came through for you.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes this could look like a separate journal of your encounters with God.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: This could also look like if you are reading your Bible and a passage of scripture sort of jumps out at you in a way that it hasn't before, and you sort of write like a little note in the margin, and then as you continue to read and you're going back, and you can see your little notes in your margin to say, like, okay, I remember, you know, what he spoke to me during this time.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's not necessarily that that thing that he said at that time is going to be the thing that he's saying to you now, but it's a reminder of the fact that he spoke to you.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or a reminder of the fact of something that he did in your life.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And something hard, friends, choosing obedience without demanding guarantees.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Trust grows through repetition.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: The more you release, the more you rest.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you choose trust over control, you gain peace instead of pressure.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: You gain rest instead of striving, and stability instead of fear.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Control can promise some safety, but delivers exhaustion.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Trust promises surrender, but delivers peace.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what the beautiful truth is?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing that we kind of know but don't often like to fully admit.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: The same way we are incapable of causing our heart to beat throughout the night while we sleep or to wake up in the morning, God is more than capable of directing our lives, and He'd do a much better job than we could ever do of it either.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, friends, thank you for joining me on this episode of Purpose of Heart the Podcast, reminding you that when we release control, we make room for God to lead with wisdom, peace, and purpose.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, friends.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening to Purpose of Heart the Podcast at www.purpose of heartpodcast.com.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much more God is doing, and I don't want you to miss a thing.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you in advance for the reviews and shares that help this message reach more hearts.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to walk with you again in next week's episode.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: See you there.