Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Spill The Wine...And The Tea

Transcript

Spill The Wine...And The Tea · I Do, Part 2

• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Hey, they're folks, and welcome to I Do Part two.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: This is a one of a kind experiment in love
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: and podcasting. And we are not here to help just
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: any old body fine love. Oh no, we are here
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: to help folks who are maybe fun to find love again,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: maybe on the second, third, fourth, whatever time around.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: That's right, And we are some of your hosts, Amy Robot,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: t J. Holmes, Jenny Garth, and today we're joined by
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: some of our celebrity mentors, you know them from The
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Golden Bachelor and their podcast Bachelor Happy Hour Golden Hour.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: We want to welcome Kathy Schwartz and Susan Knowles to
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: the podcast.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Still looking for love, baby, ladies?
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: Look at how beautiful you are. Well, since we're all
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: here together and see and Francisco, why don't we go
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: around and play a little question game. We can answer
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: some questions from our listeners.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: We have them at a bowl.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: You guys, should we go around and just pick one out?
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: Kathy and I are all good on questions, aren't we.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Kathy, I love it. It's actually an ice, you know what.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: I wish there was ice in that I know, and
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: I wish there was something in the ice loocket. But
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: now we just have your questions listeners. So hey, DJ, do.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I have to answer? This is where everybody?
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Well everyone can answer the bucket. Yeah, you're reading it,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: and then we'll all chime in.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: All right, should we all be setting our friends up
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: more instead of letting them search online for love? Wow?
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: She was ready jump ready, Hell on, Kathy, given that
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: looking on our own is not working so well, I
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: will ask a stranger on the street to fix me up.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: But she's not kidd and I've heard her say it.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Do you have any cute friends?
• 1:53
  Speaker 6: Right?
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: She's asked for uncles, fathers, brothers. I meet somebody, you
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: know my daughter's friends? Where's your where's your uncle?
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: Why do you think that's like the way it is?
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: Most women would rather just go ahead and be set up.
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: I think in a perfect world people would like to
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: meet people organically and not just you know, flipping through
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: pages or flipping through the internet.
• 2:17
  Speaker 6: But it's tough in this world. It's tough to meet.
• 2:20
  Speaker 7: And as well as the dating sites, I have no
• 2:22
  Speaker 7: problem with them. I marry a lot of people that
• 2:24
  Speaker 7: met on a dating site. However, I think I've used
• 2:28
  Speaker 7: them all and to go back on them. If they're
• 2:31
  Speaker 7: being on the show, is it's the same people, they're
• 2:34
  Speaker 7: still there.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I was a setup.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: My husband and I were.
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: See does he have a brother?
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: There?
• 2:39
  Speaker 6: You go?
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: What did I tell you?
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Do you feel pressure? Though? If you get as the friend,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: don't you feel pressure that? Wow? If it doesn't work out,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: then I am the one that set those two up.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: Have you ever had that happen? Have you ever do accidentally?
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: I don't ruin someone's life.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Wow, so far I only I just had a recent
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: successful setup, and so far, so good. If they oh yeah,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: it was my best friend and a former producer of
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: mine and they're still going strong. But if they broke up,
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: I would feel personally responsible. I would feel bad about it.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I have a question.
• 3:16
  Speaker 7: Did they ask for a photo first or did they
• 3:19
  Speaker 7: know who the person was?
• 3:20
  Speaker 6: See?
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: I would want to see what.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: It's funny we met Actually we were doing a group
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: thing and he came and she was there, and so
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: it was no pressure and he saw her and she
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: saw him.
• 3:30
  Speaker 6: They know each other was going to be there.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Yes, and so it was a little bit, but there
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: it was. There was not a lot of pressure, and
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: then it took a while. It's I think it took
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: like six months before they actually went on a date.
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: Oh, I don't have time.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, So like six minutes later you want to be
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: on a date, not six months later? I got it.
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, next question, here we go.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I'm going to dig in here. I feel like, oh
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I might have my glasses on. Let's see. Okay, let
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: me try not to. If someone has a bad really
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: relationship with their mom, is that a red flag? Oh
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: that's a good question.
• 4:04
  Speaker 6: Oh boy?
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: And is it different from men and women?
• 4:07
  Speaker 6: You know what?
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: I think it depends on the mom. I would have
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: to meet the mom to know, because look, I would
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: like to believe all moms have the best intentions, and
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: you want to place the blame. We all blame our
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: moms for everything, right, But the reality is I would
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: want to meet the mom before I made that decision.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: You'd have to assess the situation.
• 4:23
  Speaker 7: But do you know that old saying if he's good
• 4:26
  Speaker 7: to his mother, how he treats his mother as well?
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: Okay? But is that always true? Because that's my I mean,
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: I'm I'm wondering. I need to know man for a friend,
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: and could he have.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Too good of a relationship with his mom. That would
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: that would be the biggest red flag.
• 4:49
  Speaker 6: The woman or the man.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: I think it depends. Like my husband was treated his
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: mother like gold, and he treated.
• 4:57
  Speaker 6: Me like gold.
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: I did not get along with my natural mother at all,
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: but very close with my stepmother, and so I think
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: it really just depends.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: On generally speaking, though, would it be a red flag?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know you would would? You would like to think,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: but you always say robes. You talk about like, if
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you're too dependent on your mom, how close is that relationship?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Is that also a warning sign of a red flash for.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Me as a woman with the man, if he was
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: too close with his mom, I would be concerned also
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: just about where I stood, how the mom would view me.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: That all matters as a woman.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: And where do you fit in comes first, he comes second.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: That's not going to work.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: If he doesn't get along with his mom.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: I want to know the reason.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to know that.
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: Why doesn't he like his mom?
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 5:44
  Speaker 5: Maybe he loves her, but maybe they just don't have
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: I think you can't go both places.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Like said, we need to meet her.
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: Question, we need more information.
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: Okay, I'm going to be struggling to read this as well, okay.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: You need some help.
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: When do you have the oh, when do you have
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: the conversation about how someone's relationship is.
• 6:08
  Speaker 6: With their ex.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: I don't care about that. I don't either, because there's
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: a reason why they're their ex and it might not
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: have ended well. And that's okay.
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: And I think if you have confidence in who you are,
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: start right there and move forward.
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 6:23
  Speaker 7: I usually have that conversation that comes out one way
• 6:26
  Speaker 7: or the other on the first date, like we're friends,
• 6:28
  Speaker 7: he's there, we're parents together, grandparents together, he's around.
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: No, you mean that I was singing about an ex
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: justin dating, but I guess would go either way.
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: Who cares?
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, I want them to know
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: up front. I want to know everything front.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I only think you have to have the conversation when
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: it's when the ex shows up in our relationship, then
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: we need to talk about it.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: I don't want to know. You want to be surprised?
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: Well, heads up right.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I don't care about it until it, in some ways
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: starts to impact the relationship I have with.
• 7:04
  Speaker 6: Okay, So wait, can I ask a question?
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: This is Roman numeral one, you know part Bif you
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: guys have exests multiple it's it important that you get
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: along with each other's exes, so it's not too stressful.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: My answer is two words. The first one is hell.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: One is no, I don't care the way I should
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: have no relationship. I don't need any relationship with anybody and.
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: With kids and stuff.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: With her kids are older, our kids are older, so
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: we just don't. It's not necessary necessarily.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: If it were necessary, if you knew that that person
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: was going to be in your life, of course yes,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: but in a perfect world, and certainly when your kids
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: are older, it's not as important. It's just I mean,
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I don't need to know because if I know you
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: and I love you, I don't I don't need to
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: base it off of another relationship because dynamics are so interesting,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: and I think you can actually not be the best
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: version of yourself in the wrong dynamic, and I wouldn't
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: want to be judged by that.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: It's like judging somebody because of their past.
• 8:09
  Speaker 6: Correct.
• 8:09
  Speaker 7: You know, I know none of you regret the marriages
• 8:23
  Speaker 7: because either children or lessons or both came out of them,
• 8:29
  Speaker 7: But do you regret the time wasted between knowing it's
• 8:33
  Speaker 7: what needed to be done and actually.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: Doing it, whether that was months or years.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: Regrets a big word.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: That's a tough word.
• 8:46
  Speaker 6: You learn, you learn.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: But my mom would always tell me when I was
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: going through a difficult time in a relationship. He said,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: it's better than no in five months than in five
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: years if it's not good. I know it hurts right now, son,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I know your heartbroken, but you just found out this
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: isn't where you should be. You found out in five
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: months instead of five years. Congratulations, that's the lesson. Like
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: your mom, Yes, she always taught me that.
• 9:07
  Speaker 7: And then you get stuck on stupid and you know,
• 9:09
  Speaker 7: but you don't do anything about it, and you try
• 9:13
  Speaker 7: to raise your kids and do the right thing for
• 9:16
  Speaker 7: the family, and you wait till way, way later.
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: Can I just ask a question, does anybody in this
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: room I'm not divorced, wasn't divorced, my husband passed away,
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: But does anybody think that having staying together in a
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: marriage for kids is a good way to go?
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Absolutely not.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I don't think it is either. When it comes to regret, Yes,
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: you know, I think it's a tough word, because you do.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I do believe that we all make the best decision
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: with the information we have at the time, and we're
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: weighing things that we can't possibly know will change or evolve,
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: and in that moment, a lot of us do what
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: we think is best for our kids in that moment.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: So it's hard to look back and say I should
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: have or like I think should have and could have
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: are like one of the most dangerous phrases you can
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: use because you can't do anything about it. I think
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: you just have to understand where you were and give
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: yourself a little bit of credit that you were doing
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: the best you could, like.
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: You said, Jenny, giving yourself at that time.
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: I think on the opposite side, I think I would
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: say I regret wasting time holding on to it, you know,
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: because I wasn't in either. In any of my situations,
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: I've never been the one to leave, like I stay,
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: like I work, I keep working, And so I think
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: from the other side, I think I regret the time
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: wasted on my side, that I wasted myself. Yeah, like
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: wanting it just because that's the way it was supposed
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: to be.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, supposed to That's a tough one too write.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: That's how we were taught and raised. YEA, keep trying.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: It's never give up. But the best is when your children.
• 10:59
  Speaker 7: You wait till they out of school and you make
• 11:01
  Speaker 7: this move and they come to you and go, mom,
• 11:05
  Speaker 7: why did you wait so long?
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah? They see things so differently though when they're older.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so little regrets not.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: Here, there, here, and there. Okayturn your turn.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: Hope you don't get a pair of I'm going to pick.
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: Up a specific a little word of one.
• 11:21
  Speaker 6: Hold on.
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: Okay. Do you know in the first five minutes if
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: you want to go out with someone again?
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: Or does it grow?
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: I know what's in the first time?
• 11:33
  Speaker 6: I they walk across the room?
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: Really yeah, I don't know about that because when I
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: met my husband, like he was across the room, I
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: saw him for the first time. This was on a setup.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: I just saw him outside. I mean, I get it.
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, I saw him and I said, ugh.
• 11:51
  Speaker 6: You did your husband? Yes? Wait? Can I tell you?
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: I met my husband at a fraternity party when I
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: was eighteen years old. I walked in everybody this back
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: in the age when everyone was eighteen drinking alcohol. I
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: looked at him. It was a huge frattorney party. I
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: was with my roommate. I looked at this guy across
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: the room, and I looked at her and I said,
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: see that.
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: Guy right there?
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: Said yes, I'm going to marry him, and I had
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: eighteen months later and we were married almost forty six. However,
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: now I do the same thing.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: You said, aren't we aren't we?
• 12:28
  Speaker 6: Visual? We are?
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: But yeah, no, I had, I said, and he he
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: pursued you. Then, well no, because I'm just saying you
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: don't know what you don't know.
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: Well again, Susan, this is why we're single. We're so
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: busy looking at so a couple. You said, oh when
• 12:46
  Speaker 5: you first met her, Yeah, what changed your mind?
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: Well, I didn't want to date a you know, a
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: tall handsome actor guy like I was over. I wanted
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: just like normal, nice, just you know, not affected. I
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: wanted that, okay, And you know, I thought I assumed wrong.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: I assumed that.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: He was one of the four agreements you do not assume.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, that sounded wild. You said, I don't want to
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: date a tall handsome act.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: God call really says that, you know, Susan, she can.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: You gotta walk a mile sometimes you gotta.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: He knows the story that you a story?
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you know?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: How about you sin? Do you know immediately like, yeah,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: I'm never gonna see her.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I guess questions about the five minutes you do know
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: minute one, if you want to keep talking for a
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: minute two and two to three and three to four.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: It's called chemistry.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: And then at some point it might be fifteen minutes.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: It might sometimes even be fifteen years or eight years. Yeah,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: that you figure out this is not where I want
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: to be or where exactly where I want to be.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: So yeah, that chemistry, you know immediately when it doesn't work,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: and sometimes it happens in sixty seconds, Yeah, sixty things.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah with you again it with We had chemistry, but
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: we had no idea about romantic chemistry that we were
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: going that direction. But we hit it off.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we liked each other. Yeah, we liked each
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: other from the moment we met each other ten years ago.
• 14:13
  Speaker 6: But like, but that's a different thing when you.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well we were in We were also not available,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: so it wasn't even a consideration. So that was a
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: different perspective from when we met. We weren't even considering it.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Neither one of us were options for the Kay, you're cool.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: So he was like, I like you, I dig you,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I like hanging out with you, and so that was
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: just where it was, and that's where it stayed for
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: eight years.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you got hot.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: It happens to me all the time and I find
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: out they're gay.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Ye. If they're too fun, yeah, they're too well dressed,
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: if they're too beautiful, perfect.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, here's a question here. Okay, best advice for someone
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: dating someone who's lost a spouse? Best advice for dating
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: someone who's lost.
• 14:56
  Speaker 6: A story question?
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, although you're not dating, so.
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the best advice for dating somebody's lost spouse. I
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: think the advice I would give them is, don't try
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: to recreate the relationship you had with your spouse. Look
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: for someone who genuinely just makes you feel happy in
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: the space that you're in now, and try not to
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: look backward and look forward. That's what I try to
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: do every day. I try to just look forward and
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: give people a chance when I meet them, and not
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: compare them. Don't compare people to your spouse.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: I would think, try not to replace them.
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: My second bit was exactly that that, don't think that
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: your heart is closed off.
• 15:43
  Speaker 6: It's like having a child.
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: You have a child, and you think I could never
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: love another child.
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: And then when I have.
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: My mother and child, it's just your heart expands. So
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: my husband will always be in my heart way of
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: looking at it yet, but I have room for or
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: another person.
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: I have room for love in my heart. So I
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: would tell people to be open.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry as something. I know you remember this.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Patrick Swayze's widow spoke to us about the love she
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: has now and the husband she has now with She
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: said there was a room in my heart for both,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: and he was the one who always supported her in
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: that and made sure she I know, there was the
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: love of your life and I'm here now. But but
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: she spoke of it in such in a way that
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: you're speaking of it now that I had really never
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: heard somebody talk about it.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: That's beautiful.
• 16:29
  Speaker 7: People watching Jones seasons, did you hear keep saying with
• 16:32
  Speaker 7: the bachelorette.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of guilt at all. And it's like, okay, move on.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Wow, How how long how long since your husband passed?
• 16:43
  Speaker 6: He died? It'll be six years.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: It's not that long. That's not that long.
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: Feels like so many things have changed in my life.
• 16:54
  Speaker 6: You know, team sports.
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: My husband was a huge sport, so he's missed so
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: many things in college football and basketball, and he's missed
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: grandchildren being born, and he's miss marriages, and he's missed divorces,
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: and he's missed weddings.
• 17:10
  Speaker 6: And it just seems so long. It seems so long.
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: But you know what I said.
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: I carry him every day in my heart, but I
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: have room for that person that could come and join
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: me where I am.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Oh that's beautiful. Yes, this is coming to us from
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Chrissy Burns. She's forty three years old, she's a single mom.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: She asks, how do I attract the right guy that
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: actually wants a commitment? Why am I only attracting men
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: who want something casual?
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: We're twins?
• 17:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean I get it.
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: Wait, you have a commitment thing.
• 17:56
  Speaker 7: No, the men that I meet I attract the wrong
• 18:00
  Speaker 7: kind of you attracted?
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want commitment.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: We're yelling at me the other day.
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: I'm the same kid. Well, I think, wait, wait, wait,
• 18:11
  Speaker 6: what's the.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: Kind the wrong con?
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: I think Susan doesn't. I'm not sure you're clear on
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: who it is you want. And so I think she
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: gets into it and then goes, hey, that was fun
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: for ten minutes. I don't think you found the guy
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: you want. I don't think you haven't found the guy
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: worth committing for.
• 18:28
  Speaker 6: That's just this is true.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: This is is what happens, you know when you work
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: together a lot.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Where are you like, where are you meeting men? How
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: are you like? What is it? What energy or what
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: are you putting out that is attracting this thing?
• 18:43
  Speaker 7: I am opening and I feel as if and I've
• 18:46
  Speaker 7: been told I intimidate me. I'm very outspoken. I am
• 18:51
  Speaker 7: not shy, but to sit and have a conversation with
• 18:54
  Speaker 7: me is easy.
• 18:54
  Speaker 6: You're funny, like you.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Make me laugh all day and maybe when you are
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: like good time girl and Funion are here to help that.
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: When people say to us all the time that we're
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: funny and we're huge personalities, but we I just almost Yeah,
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: we have our really sensitive side.
• 19:15
  Speaker 6: But men are like, whoa, you're a lot.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: And it's tough too. I think to go and put
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: your intentions out initially, like on a first daid, Hey,
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: I want something serious? Whoa's like maybe problem?
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: I mean, I say I'd like a house on Martha's vineyard.
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: Do you have one that might be off?
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: That might be off?
• 19:32
  Speaker 6: Stop leading with that question.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: Possibly, I root frustrate to the point when you get
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: to a point you don't have a lot of time.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, let's let's figure out where you stand,
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: where we stand.
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: What are you?
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: What are you looking for? Opening? What are you looking?
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: Really? At our age?
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: We've talked about this isn't at our age. You know,
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: we've raised children, we have grandchildren. We I know what
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: I'm after. You sort of know what you're after really
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: kind of.
• 20:04
  Speaker 6: And I just think you know why waste time?
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, TG and I talked about this, I
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: think just in our last podcast, almost immediately when we
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: just got to the point where we were, I was like,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: and here's the deal, Like, this is what I would
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: only be okay with. And He's like, this is what
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I would only be okay with. And just as adult,
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: setting the boundaries immediately when you recognize you have feelings
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: for each other is important.
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: But also, you guys have lived and so if have you, Jenny,
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: We all have You've lived life, You've had other spouses.
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: You know, you've learned those lessons that make you strong
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: in your if you will boundary setting.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, And it's just it's like, again, I don't
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: want to waste time.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: I'm just a hopeless romantic. I know sick, all right,
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: I'm with Six months later, I realize, yes, it's not it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: I fall hard fast and I go.
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: And then she's like, I think I have a buss
• 20:54
  Speaker 6: to catch him out. O.
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: Wait, okay, so there's something there is there? What let's
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: stick deeper?
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: Oh boy, here we go. She's a therapy again. I
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: got here, all right, here we go. This one's from Britney.
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: It looks like Brittany Dion Cabaccas. I'm sure I'm pitturing
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: the day with authority. And it's it, said Brittany Dion Cabaccas.
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: That's your name. Do Amy and TJ find it hard
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: working together and being together and yet still finding.
• 21:24
  Speaker 6: Time for the date nights.
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: Trying to balance life and love can be so hard
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: as it is detail lol.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: On the date nights we are together twenty four to seven.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: I think we have I I can only speak for me.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: I am blown away at how I can be with
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: one person for so much and still feel like it.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Well yeah, and I actually feel like I miss him,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Like if we're working, I'm like, wait, I miss us?
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Can we can we?
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Actually?
• 21:58
  Speaker 6: You hate us?
• 22:02
  Speaker 7: You said you hate that everything you want that what
• 22:05
  Speaker 7: she said?
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, are we understand that we're really annoying and we
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: do have our moments where things aren't hunky dory, but
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: we for the most part, I would say, more so
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: than not. And again I am shocked. I know me,
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: I've lived with myself for fifty plus years, and I
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: have never been this person where I'm like, how am
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I still happy to be with you and wanting more?
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: If that's even entirely possible? But yeah, I mean we
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: have had to hit more so for me, he's had
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: to say let's go on a date, let's go out,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: and we can't talk about work. We can't, And I
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: have messed like, oh sorry, no, and that actually was nice.
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: A come on, I'm dying, don't you want.
• 22:50
  Speaker 6: What you have?
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: You know? And what you all are talking about. It
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: is all comes down to a foundation of friendship. We
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: were we built, we were built for eight years on friendship.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: We are good to go. I know her as well
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: as anybody else on the planet, so that's where we started.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: But you know me more than anyone else on the planet,
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: exception for your for your daughters and your parents.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: I wanted to leave, okay, okay, but it works because
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: we don't necessarily do date not. We don't. I hate
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: the idea of date nights. I just hate having to plan.
• 23:23
  Speaker 6: To take work. It's like a Valentine's card.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: It's in my head. It's okay, other people want to
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: do that. But our date nights are date days and
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: date mornings. We take a walk and go get a bagel.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: We'll just take quiet time together and get.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Lunch and mix cali and look out and the window
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: and have our market enough.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: We're used to working together, so that was always like
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: the fun. So work stays kind of fun for the
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: most part, and then we actually get to like be together.
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: Do you have time for other Do you have time
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: for other friends to go out with your other friends?
• 23:51
  Speaker 6: Not really?
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, not a lot.
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: That is what you get busy.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: You're busy, and you're okay to disagree.
• 24:00
  Speaker 6: You're you agree to friends.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's so important friend. That's what I lead.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And we were we were before like like that's
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: what was happening. Like I was like, this is the guy.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I just I tell everything to like what it's crazy?
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, continuing to talk about it.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: I love your relationship, you know, I to you guys
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: That's what I said.
• 24:24
  Speaker 7: When do you need to kiss by to see if
• 24:30
  Speaker 7: there is physical chemistry?
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: How long you have to wait when you kiss.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Them, but wait to see if that's the problem right there?
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Well, you know there's chemistry before you.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Get correct either I want to kiss you or I
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: don't need to.
• 24:43
  Speaker 7: And if you're going to stay more them five minutes,
• 24:45
  Speaker 7: it's because I want to kiss you.
• 24:47
  Speaker 6: And you know that if you turn the cheek it's over.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Oh. Absolutely. If you're wondering whether or not you want to,
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: that's a red flag. You don't want to and you
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: don't want to exactly, you can't force that.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: All right, I'm not going to jime me in on
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: the kissing one, but I will jime in. We will
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: all continue to jime me in more. We're going to
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: continue with this fun round of questions from our listeners
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: in part two.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: Of I Do Part two, Part two and a.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: If you get where we're going.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: So in the meantime, call us at one eight four
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: four four I Do Pod. That's eight four four four
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: four three six seven six three. You can also email
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: us at idpod at iHeartRadio dot com, or follow us
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: or and follow us on Instagram. And TikTok At I
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: do Part two pod all questions. What you don't understand
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: what I just said. Hopefully the listeners do. But that
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: is how you can get in touch with us. Let
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: us know if you would like us to help you
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: find love second time, third time, four time around, whatever.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: We are here for you and we'll be back in
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: the next episode with more answers to your questions. Three