Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / Symphony of Survival in the Key of C Msg 38 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living

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Symphony of Survival in the Key of C Msg 38 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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  Speaker 1: In your worship folder, you will find an outline for
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  Speaker 1: this morning's message, Symphony of Survival in the Key of C.
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  Speaker 1: As we shall see soon, that C represents commitment, which
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  Speaker 1: of course is a secret of a long-lasting marriage. Genesis
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  Speaker 1: chapter 2, we have looked at before. Once again, please,
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  Speaker 1: chapter 2, verse 24 says, We'll glance into a couple
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  Speaker 1: of other chapters briefly before our time in prayer and
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  Speaker 1: offering this morning. Genesis 2.24, For this reason a man
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  Speaker 1: shall leave his father and his mother and be joined
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  Speaker 1: to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. The
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  Speaker 1: man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
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  Speaker 2: Verse 1 of.
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  Speaker 1: Chapter 4, Now the man had relations with his wife Eve,
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  Speaker 1: and she conceived and gave birth to Cain. And she said,
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  Speaker 1: I have gotten a man-child with the help of the Lord. Again,
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  Speaker 1: she gave birth to his brother Abel. Abel was a
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  Speaker 1: keeper of flocks, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
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  Speaker 1: Then across the page, chapter 5, first few verses says,
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  Speaker 1: This is the book of the generations of Adam. In
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  Speaker 1: the day when God created man, he made him in
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  Speaker 1: the likeness of God. Please take note of the last phrase.
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  Speaker 1: When originally created, man was made in the likeness of God.
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  Speaker 1: Now watch closely. He created them, male and female, and
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  Speaker 1: he blessed them and named them man in the day
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  Speaker 1: when they were created. When Adam had lived 130 years,
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  Speaker 1: he became the father of a son, please note, in
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  Speaker 1: his own likeness, according to his image.
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  Speaker 2: Note the difference?
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  Speaker 1: Now that sin has come, now the birth is in
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  Speaker 1: the image of the parents.
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  Speaker 2: And he named him Seth.
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  Speaker 1: Then the days of Adam, after he became the father
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  Speaker 1: of Seth, were 800 years. He had other sons and daughters.
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  Speaker 1: So all the days that Adam lived were 930 years,
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  Speaker 1: and he died.
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  Speaker 3: Wow.
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  Speaker 2: You thought you were old.
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  Speaker 1: In the patriarchal era, they lived long lives, hundreds of years,
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  Speaker 1: but as sin prevailed, took its toll.
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  Speaker 2: Life was finally decreased to a few score years, and
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  Speaker 2: it's passed.
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  Speaker 1: Speaking of life being passed, we're on the heels of
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  Speaker 1: an anniversary.
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  Speaker 2: Of many, many deaths. We were shocked on the 9-11-2001 day.
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  Speaker 1: When for the first time in our generation, we experienced
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  Speaker 1: something that none of us will ever forget. At the
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  Speaker 1: same time, on our eastern shores, there are storms ravaging homes,
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  Speaker 1: sending people rushing for safety.
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  Speaker 2: We're a needy people, aren't we? There are days when
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  Speaker 2: we realize.
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  Speaker 1: Our needs are such that if God were to lift
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  Speaker 1: his mercy, we wouldn't survive.
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  Speaker 2: It's true today. Join me in prayer, please.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you for your grace, our Father, giving us what
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  Speaker 1: we don't deserve and reaching down, stooping to us in
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  Speaker 1: our needs. When you have no needs of your own,
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  Speaker 1: you of all things are moved with compassion over us
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  Speaker 1: in our pain and sorrow and grief and hurt and
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  Speaker 1: feelings of insecurity and lack of trust and fear and
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  Speaker 1: on and on the list goes. We are at a
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  Speaker 1: crossroads in many ways as a country, as a nation
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  Speaker 1: seeking your mind for.
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  Speaker 2: Our president, as a people threatened.
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  Speaker 1: By now from within by the presence of terrorists. And
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  Speaker 1: never knowing when we will awaken or when we retire
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  Speaker 1: for the night, what the next few hours will hold.
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  Speaker 2: We are at your mercy.
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  Speaker 1: Forgive us, our Father, for forgetting that you were there.
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  Speaker 1: Forgive us as a country for going our own way
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  Speaker 1: and ignoring what you have commanded and expected. Forgive us
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  Speaker 1: as a people for mishandling your truths and misrepresenting your Son.
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  Speaker 2: More often than we want to realize.
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  Speaker 1: Nevertheless, today grace brings a new day for us. Grace
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  Speaker 1: to forgive. Grace to go on. Grieving families in New
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  Speaker 1: York and Washington and Pennsylvania need your grace.
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  Speaker 2: To keep them going. People in Florida and the islands
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  Speaker 2: and Cuba, around those.
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  Speaker 1: Threatened spots, need your grace to survive. Thank you for
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  Speaker 1: your mercies that are new every morning. These parents who
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  Speaker 1: stood tall and bold a few moments ago and uttered
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  Speaker 1: their words of commitment need grace as the years unfold
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  Speaker 1: and the pressures and demands intensify. People rearing children all
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  Speaker 1: over this area and around this great world.
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  Speaker 2: Find themselves.
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  Speaker 1: Often at a loss to know the right words to
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  Speaker 1: use and the right action to take. Guide us, our Father,
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  Speaker 1: even as the psalmist has written, for this shall everyone
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  Speaker 1: who is godly pray unto you in a time when
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  Speaker 1: you may be found. Surely in the floods of great waters.
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  Speaker 2: They shall not come nigh unto you. You are our
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  Speaker 2: hiding place. You shall preserve us from trouble. You shall
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  Speaker 2: compass us about with songs of deliverance.
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  Speaker 1: Then you have responded, I will instruct you and teach
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  Speaker 1: you in the way which you should go.
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  Speaker 2: I will guide you with my eye upon you.
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  Speaker 1: May we be sensitive to the direction you lead us
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  Speaker 1: as a church, as a family, as individuals, as people
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  Speaker 1: who work in a world that's lost its way.
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  Speaker 2: Among those who don't know your name, give.
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  Speaker 1: Us authenticity of life and the grace to live honestly
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  Speaker 1: and openly before others. Now, Lord, we are facing a
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  Speaker 1: challenge before us as we look into this passage of Scripture.
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  Speaker 1: I ask for your help. As it unfolds, may we
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  Speaker 1: realize the relevance of your word. And as we give,
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  Speaker 1: may we remember you have first given to us, and
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  Speaker 1: because of that, we're able to do this. In the
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  Speaker 1: name of the Lord Jesus, we give and we.
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  Speaker 2: Express these needs. and all of his people said, Amen.
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  Speaker 1: I'm speaking to a 21st century audience trying hard not
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  Speaker 1: to sound like a 19th century preacher.
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  Speaker 2: That's interesting, isn't it?
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  Speaker 1: There's a name for guys like me, a preacher who
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  Speaker 1: still believes the Bible, who thinks we need to adjust
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  Speaker 1: our lives to it rather than force it to adapt
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  Speaker 1: to us. Someone told me the other day, you know
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  Speaker 1: what they call you when you're not around?
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  Speaker 2: I said, no, a dinosaur. I said, really? Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So I went home and checked Webster's and found the
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  Speaker 1: definition means out of date, obsolete, impractical, extinct. But that's
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  Speaker 1: better than the first rendering, which is carnivorous, oversized reptile.
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  Speaker 1: I was telling another group of people this, and one
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  Speaker 1: of the men walked up and said, don't feel badly.
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  Speaker 2: One of our grandkids calls me a Neanderthal. How times change.
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  Speaker 1: There once was a day when a preacher was really
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  Speaker 1: determined worthy if he stood on the faithfulness.
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  Speaker 2: Of God's Word.
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  Speaker 1: That if you truly believed the Bible was true, God's word,
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  Speaker 1: and if you believed in the discipline of hard study,
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  Speaker 1: and if you faithfully taught it, prepared well, and delivered it,
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  Speaker 1: regardless of the times, that was a compliment. But in
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  Speaker 1: our day of great liberality, that's not so. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: how can God's word so ancient ever be considered a
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  Speaker 1: relevant message for a world like ours full of tyranny
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  Speaker 1: and terrorism and abuse and the kind of heartbreaking suffering
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  Speaker 1: Situations in which we find ourselves. Easy to get sort
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  Speaker 1: of lazy about the Bible. The words of G.K. Chesterton
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  Speaker 1: come to mind. He writes, what we suffer from today
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  Speaker 1: is humility in the wrong place. Modesty has moved from
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  Speaker 1: the organ of ambition. Modesty has settled upon the organ
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  Speaker 1: of conviction. where it was never meant to be. A
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  Speaker 1: man was meant to be doubtful about himself, but not
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  Speaker 1: doubting about the truth.
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  Speaker 2: This has been exactly reversed. We are on the road to.
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  Speaker 1: Reproducing a race of men too mentally modest to believe
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  Speaker 1: in the multiplication table. Sometimes it's nice to know there
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  Speaker 1: are fellow dinosaurs running around. One is Chuck Colson, whose
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  Speaker 1: work in Breakpoint often makes us pause and listen closely.
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  Speaker 1: In a piece dated September 9, 2004, depending on your
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  Speaker 1: vantage point, you might look back on the summer of
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  Speaker 1: 2004 as the summer of Hurricane Charlie, or perhaps just
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  Speaker 1: the summer of the Athens Olympics. But Will Haygood of
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  Speaker 1: the Washington Post says, has another name for the summer
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  Speaker 1: of 2004. The summer of bad husbands. If you flipped
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  Speaker 1: on the news at all this summer, perhaps you've noticed
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  Speaker 1: it too. Mark Hacking's name appeared splashed across headlines in
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  Speaker 1: August with the reports that he shot his wife in
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  Speaker 1: her sleep and then disposed of his beloved in a
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  Speaker 1: Utah landfill. Subsequent investigation found Hacking entangled in a supersized
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  Speaker 1: web of deceit, including a phony story about his acceptance
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  Speaker 1: into medical school, a story that he had.
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  Speaker 2: His wife, family, and friends all believing.
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  Speaker 1: Meanwhile, we've heard ad nauseum about Scott Peterson at trial
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  Speaker 1: this summer, the phone conversations with Mistress Amber Frye, days
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  Speaker 1: after pregnant wife.
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  Speaker 2: Lacey's disappearance, his break for freedom.
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  Speaker 1: And we've seen more than enough of the Kobe Bryant
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  Speaker 1: saga with his repeated line of defense.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, he cheated on his wife. No, he's not a rapist.
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  Speaker 1: And then in less violent, but certainly no less scandalous news,
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  Speaker 1: there's been New Jersey Governor Trump Jim McGreevy's resignation, while
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  Speaker 1: gay activists looked on with pride at the governor's announcement,
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  Speaker 1: I am a gay American, McGreevy's wife stood next to
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  Speaker 1: him with the dazed look of a woman twice betrayed.
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  Speaker 1: One can only imagine the emotional fallout for his two daughters.
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  Speaker 1: While trend spotters can find a trend in just about everything,
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  Speaker 1: the Post's assessment of the pattern of events is intriguing.
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  Speaker 1: Buried halfway into Haygood's article is a priceless nugget, a
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  Speaker 1: quote from David Kahn, former Los Angeles prosecutor famed for
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  Speaker 1: prosecuting the notorious Menendez brothers. His take on this summer's events,
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  Speaker 1: I quote, I think it's just the loss of family values,
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  Speaker 1: Kahn says. It's the narcissism of our age, of people
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  Speaker 1: thinking only of themselves, not even of their family.
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  Speaker 2: When you lose those values of morality, you suddenly have
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  Speaker 2: no footing.
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  Speaker 1: And I think that's when these people think there's no
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  Speaker 1: problem with doing evil, unquote.
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  Speaker 2: Coulson adds, exactly. Exactly.
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  Speaker 1: While there are certainly varying degrees of evil, it's the
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  Speaker 1: bottom line in every one of these bad husband headlines.
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  Speaker 1: And though we hate to be talking about these events
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  Speaker 1: at all in this age of relativism and anything goes,
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  Speaker 1: it's good to hear somebody call evil from hacking to
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  Speaker 1: McGreevy by its rightful name. Kahn also hits the mark
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  Speaker 1: in seeing these trends as as a sign of our
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  Speaker 1: narcissistic culture. Narcissism is at the heart of the erosion
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  Speaker 1: of marriage that we've seen in this country, whether it's
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  Speaker 1: the no-fault divorce laws or the swelling movement to legalize
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  Speaker 1: same-sex marriage. The me-first mentality bulldozes right over the most
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  Speaker 1: vulnerable stakeholders in marriage, the children. What better reminder of
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  Speaker 1: what's up for grabs in weakening views of marriage than
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  Speaker 1: the unborn child of Lacey Peterson or the devastated children
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  Speaker 1: of Governor McGreevey. He closes with these words. So maybe
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  Speaker 1: this summer a bad husband should come as a wake-up
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  Speaker 1: call to America. Marriage in this country needs a biblical makeover.
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  Speaker 1: One where husband and becomes synonymous with the kind of
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  Speaker 1: selfless love of Christ. Our ultimate model.
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  Speaker 2: Good writing. It's an ancient book. Ancient. Ancient book, this Bible.
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  Speaker 1: Full of names that are hard to pronounce and stories that...
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  Speaker 1: or sometimes difficult to unravel, and theology that has challenged
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  Speaker 1: the brightest of minds through the centuries. Originally written in
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  Speaker 1: Hebrew and Aramaic and Greek, put together in a period
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  Speaker 1: of hundreds of years by a variety of different people,
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  Speaker 1: all of them sinful, and yet miraculously preserved for any era,
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  Speaker 1: any time, any society, any culture, people of any age,
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  Speaker 1: in any status, rich or poor, struggling middle class, married, single, divorced,
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  Speaker 1: multiple divorced, abused, broken, terrorized, hurting, struggling, fighting for survival, prosperous, happy, joyful.
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  Speaker 2: Guilty, dying, grieving. What a book.
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  Speaker 1: In all of my years of study, I have never
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  Speaker 1: found a principle in it that's irrelevant.
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  Speaker 2: Never once. Never once.
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  Speaker 1: Never found a truth. Never found a truth in it
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  Speaker 1: that turned against me.
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  Speaker 2: When I needed help.
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  Speaker 1: Or worked against me when I decided to believe it
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  Speaker 1: and apply it. Oh, I failed it many times. It's
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  Speaker 1: never failed me. We may tremble on the rock. A
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  Speaker 1: rock never trembles under us. So we come to the subject.
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  Speaker 2: Of marriage and.
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  Speaker 1: Husband-wife relationship ultimately will get into children and the rearing
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  Speaker 1: of them and the joys and challenges of going through
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  Speaker 1: those rearing and then for them adult and older years,
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  Speaker 1: and we'll find over and over.
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  Speaker 2: How practical and in touch this book is.
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  Speaker 1: It is an amazing, amazing body of material. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: look at the principles we've already dug out of verses
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  Speaker 1: 24 and 25. Just remarkable how these still touch our times.
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  Speaker 1: Leaving father and mother, of course, there has to be
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  Speaker 1: a severance. Joining a partner in life, of course, there
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  Speaker 1: has to be a bonding. Becoming one, absolutely, there must
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  Speaker 1: be a cultivation of unity. Notice, become one flesh. You're
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  Speaker 1: not automatically one flesh. Well, you are in God's eyes,
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  Speaker 1: but you're not.
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  Speaker 2: Practically speaking after you say, I do. You learn to
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  Speaker 2: become a unit. You hammer away at it.
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  Speaker 1: All the sinful struggles and habits notwithstanding, you.
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  Speaker 2: Find a way to get there.
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  Speaker 1: And you realize, having slugged it out, through the hard times,
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  Speaker 1: you realize in unguarded moments, as your head sinks into
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  Speaker 1: the pillow, that you're glad you stayed. You're glad you
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  Speaker 1: made it work. You're glad your partner didn't walk out.
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  Speaker 2: Now, I'm a realist.
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  Speaker 1: I know there are occasions where there are reasons to
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  Speaker 1: walk out.
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  Speaker 2: I'll get to that.
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  Speaker 1: But let's establish the foundation before we go there. We're
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  Speaker 1: so quick to look for ways out that we forget
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  Speaker 1: to linger over reasons to stay. In fact, there's not
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  Speaker 1: only severance and peace In permanence and unity, there's even
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  Speaker 1: intimacy without shame.
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  Speaker 2: Look at that. Man and his wife were naked and
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  Speaker 2: they weren't ashamed.
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  Speaker 1: The whole idea of close sexual intimacy and intercourse, all
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  Speaker 1: part of God's plan in innocence, in innocence, before there
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  Speaker 1: was ever sin, He created the whole idea of it,
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  Speaker 1: knowing it would work best between husband and wife. knowing
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  Speaker 1: that was the place to cultivate such unashamed intimacy. All
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  Speaker 1: of this brings up four questions that I think are,
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  Speaker 1: that they have to be asked. They are crucial questions
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  Speaker 1: that any thinking person would ask. The first is a
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  Speaker 1: question of relevance. Are biblical principles still relevant? I mean,
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  Speaker 1: does this ancient book, still address the complicated issues of
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  Speaker 1: our times. A group of small children in kindergarten were asked,
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  Speaker 1: does God understand nuclear science?
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  Speaker 2: Over 80% said no.
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  Speaker 1: As if God wakes up one day and discovers there's
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  Speaker 1: an invention that's caught him by surprise. Romans 15.4 says,
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  Speaker 1: whatever was written in earlier times was written now. For
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  Speaker 1: our learning that we through comfort and patience from the
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  Speaker 1: scriptures might have hope. How wonderful a promise is that?
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  Speaker 1: Whatever is written by Moses, by the psalmists, by the prophets,
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  Speaker 1: by historians, by apostles, was written for our learning. That
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  Speaker 1: we in whatever era, at whatever time, in whatever culture,
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  Speaker 1: whatever the issue.
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  Speaker 2: Might have hope. Yes, yes, there's a resounding yes.
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  Speaker 1: I will guide you with my eye on you, he promises.
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  Speaker 1: Psalm 32, 8. How wonderful a promise is that. Second
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  Speaker 1: question is a question of harmony. Can two very different
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  Speaker 1: people make it work? Can two very different people make
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  Speaker 1: it work? When a man and a woman come together
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  Speaker 1: in a marriage ceremony, immediately there's a challenge. Well, not
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  Speaker 1: at that moment. There aren't many fights at the altar,
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  Speaker 1: but often people will tell.
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  Speaker 2: You amazing stories of honeymoons.
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  Speaker 1: Where it all gets going there. You thought there was
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  Speaker 1: perfection and you found there was not. There was just
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  Speaker 1: enormous depravity. Someone wrote this, Adam and Eve had an
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  Speaker 1: ideal marriage, at least when things started. He didn't have
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  Speaker 1: to hear all about the other men she could have
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  Speaker 1: married and.
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  Speaker 2: She didn't have to hear about the way his mother
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  Speaker 2: cooked it.
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  Speaker 1: One husband said, you don't deserve a husband like me.
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  Speaker 1: The wife said, I don't deserve sinus trouble either, but
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  Speaker 1: I got it.
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  Speaker 2: I like the little poem.
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  Speaker 1: To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving
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  Speaker 1: cup whenever you're wrong, admit.
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  Speaker 2: It whenever you're right. Shut up.
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  Speaker 1: How good we are to cast the blame elsewhere. how
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  Speaker 1: quick we are to point out what a difference there
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  Speaker 1: is between us.
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  Speaker 2: That's what it's all about.
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  Speaker 1: It's all about differences. That's what makes the unity so unique.
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  Speaker 1: It's what makes the harmony so remarkable. Staying together is
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  Speaker 1: becoming increasingly more amazing to our culture. Cynthia and I
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  Speaker 1: were having dinner in Simple little meal at a restaurant
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  Speaker 1: and a waitress, she was so friendly, came by and said, well,
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  Speaker 1: you two look like you're getting along great. I said, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: we've been getting along great for over 40 years. This
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  Speaker 1: was several years ago. And she said, you're kidding.
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  Speaker 2: I said, no. She said, and she called their names,
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  Speaker 2: several waitresses. Come here, come here.
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  Speaker 1: And they all stood and applauded. It's like, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: all we've done is stuck it out. We don't see that.
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  Speaker 1: We haven't seen.
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  Speaker 2: Anybody married for 40 plus years.
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  Speaker 1: Why?
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  Speaker 2: Because you're so different.
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  Speaker 1: There's so many situations that, you know, it's better to
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  Speaker 1: try again. The answer is two very different people can
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  Speaker 1: make it work.
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  Speaker 2: Hard work.
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  Speaker 1: The best you can do is a reasonably good marriage,
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  Speaker 1: but you can do that by the grace of God.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Opposites do attract. That principle holds true. There's a third question.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: It's a question of.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Permanence.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Does a sinful nature destroy a lasting relationship? Does a
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: sinful nature destroy a lasting relationship?
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, Adam and.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Eve put together by God, brought together by God, Begun
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: by God, God officiates at their wedding and then it
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: isn't long before sin encroaches and not just encroaches but
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: invades and corrupts the relationship and then you find them
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: running and hiding and covering and excusing and blaming and
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: all of the stuff that goes with sinfulness. but you
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: don't find them breaking up. As we're going to see,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: they've got a son that turns against a son, and
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: he murders him, but they don't break up. And of
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: all things, they have another child and even more who
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: aren't even named in Scripture, and they don't divorce.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it can survive. It's hard work.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: It's the hardest work you'll do on the planet. You
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: can run three businesses easier than handle a harmonious home.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Running a church is nothing compared to sustaining a happy
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: home and a good marriage. It's the hardest work we do.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: There's a fourth question. It's a question of intimacy. Is
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: it shameful to enjoy marital happiness?
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Intimacy.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Some people who get very, very spiritual begin to say
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: that kind of thing. The more I love God, the
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: less I want to be that interested in sexual relations
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: with my partner.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: I've always found that a strange response.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Adam and Eve enjoyed it in innocence and they began
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: having children and Even in their sinful condition, they enjoyed
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: the harmony or the intimacy of their lives, and it
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: continues on with the bearing of more children. I like
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: the way Eugene Peterson paraphrases 1 Corinthians 7, just a section.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: but only within a certain context. It's good for a
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: man to have a wife and for a woman to
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality. The
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: husband seeking to satisfy his wife. The wife seeking to
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to stand
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: up for your rights. Marriage is a decision to serve
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: the other, whether in bed or out.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Isn't that a good line?
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: if you both agree to it. and if it's for
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: the purpose of prayer and fasting, but only for such times,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: of tempting us when we least expect it. The most
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: delightful hours in a marriage can be the most intimate times,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: even with a sinful nature and without shame. If there's
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: that sense of mutuality, respect for one another, Interestingly, in
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: all of these changes, the marriage.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Survived for Adam and Eve. Look at the odds against them.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: They're married by God in a context of perfection. And
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: it isn't long before they both sin, and the fall
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: has incredible ramifications. Their perfect environment stops. Both of them
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: are cursed. She with the pain of childbearing, he with
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: working by the sweat of his brow. The ground itself
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: is cursed with thorns and thistles. And then they're driven
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: from their home at the end of chapter 3 of Genesis.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: And so they're homeless. The beautiful garden.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: That they have been enjoying is no longer theirs to enjoy.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Land is hard and life is rough and relationships are strained.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: But they make it. They make it.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: They stay together though there's a scandal in their home
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: as Cain murders his brother, of all things.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: And they have another child and then more. They stay
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: together through it. You know what that teaches us?
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: There's a great statement I want to add to the
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Adam and Eve marriage. A marriage can survive the harshest consequences.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: It can survive the harshest consequences.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: You may find.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Yourself in the backwash of a set of circumstances the
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: person sitting next to you would never believe.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Harsh circumstances. Harsh situation.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: You may carry with you painful and deep Scars from
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: abuse and mistreatment. The heartache of the sinful world. You
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: may have had a horrific set of parents who cared
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: nothing for you. You may have not seen a model
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: of a marriage, so you even know where to start.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Harsh consequences follow.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Marriage can survive that. And it isn't easy.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: I want to jump from Adam and Eve to a
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: couple in the middle of the days of the prophets.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Name is Hosea.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I'm going to watch little dust pockets pop up from
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: the Bibles as you find your way to Hosea.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Just before the book of Joel. Which is just before Amos.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: No help, huh?
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Look on next to you, Hosea. Let me tell you
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: where we are. We're going centuries ahead in time. The
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: nation Israel is divided, now pay attention, this is important,
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: into two kingdoms, the northern kingdom and the southern kingdom.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Northern is called Israel and the southern is called Judah.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: There's not a godly king in the northern kingdom, but
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: of all things there are prophets that are to live
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: during that spiritually decadent time. And Hosea is one of them. Concurrently,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: there is the Judah that's going on. It's in its
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: history as well. But God now uses Hosea as a model.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: He uses his marriage as an object lesson to the
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: spiritual decay of the people. They are spiritually adulterous. They're
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: following idols. And so the Lord chooses to use Hosea
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: as not only his words and writings, but his marriage
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: as an object lesson to get the attention of the
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: people of Israel. Look at verse 2 of chapter 1.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: to Hosea, Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Just pause there and imagine. She's a prostitute. And he's
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: to marry her, and they're to have children in the
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: midst of this harlotry, this adulterous generation. Verse 3, he
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: went and took Gomer away. The daughter of Diblaim, and
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: she conceived and bore him a son, named him Jezreel.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Verse 6, she conceived again, gave birth to a daughter.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: The Lord gave them a name.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: For the daughter.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Verse 8, when she had weaned the daughter, she conceived
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: and gave birth to a son. So we got a
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: boy and a girl and a boy, sort of back
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: to back in this horrible era. even to name their
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: children some of the characteristics of their times.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: And she splits. She heads for the street.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: He's left a single parent to rear the children with
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: all of those demands. And he's a prophet with all
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: of the embarrassment. I have a preacher friend who calls
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: this story a scandal.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: In the parsonage.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, here's a prophet with a wife living on
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: the street.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: That's not bad enough. Look at chapter 3 of Hosea.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: Then the Lord said to me, Go again, love a
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: even as the Lord loves the sons of Israel, though
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: they turn to other gods. Verse 2, So I bought
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: her for myself for 15 shekels of silver. the homer
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: and a half of barley. He buys her back, and
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: look at what he says to her. You shall stay
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: nor shall you have a man. So I will also
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: be toward you.
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I pause, though we haven't much time here, I pause
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: to let that sink in. Hosea 9.9 says the nation
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: has gone deep into depravity. And here is a husband-wife
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: relationship that's to carry out before the people what it
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: is like for God to love a people of spiritual adultery.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Just as God loves the idolaters, so, Hosea, you're to
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: love your wife. Take her back. Buy her from the street.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Live with her as a mate. brings up the principle
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: of marriage can overcome the most extreme challenges. The most
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: extreme challenges. Maybe you've gone through unfaithfulness with your partner.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Maybe you've known the embarrassment of that being found out
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: and the public hearing about it and feeling the rejection
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: and the horror of all that goes with that.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: You may have gone through Some other.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Extreme challenge as a couple.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: A marriage can survive it for the grace of God.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: It can overcome the most extreme challenges. The third one
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: is tucked away in the first chapter of Matthew. And
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: you remember this one. The Hosea-Gomer may not be a
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: familiar story, but Mary and Joseph?
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. The couple is betrothed.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: That means they're legally engaged, which means if there's going
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: to be a break in the engagement, it's got to
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: be a legal divorce. Verse 18 says that Mary was
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. The
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: problem is Joseph didn't know anything about it. When she
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: finally did tell him, Joseph listened, blinked, and thought, you
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: are pregnant? First response is a natural response. Verse 19,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: being a righteous man, not wanting to disgrace her, decided
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: to send her away privately, secretly. But when he had
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: in a dream, saying, Joseph, son of David, do not
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: be afraid to take Mary as your wife for the
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: child of who has been conceived in her is of
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: shall call his name Jesus. He will save his people
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: from their sins. It's the great Christmas story, isn't it?
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: by the Lord through the prophet. The virgin shall be
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: with child and bear a son. Verse 24, Joseph awoke
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: and took Mary as his wife. I mean, could you
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: imagine the gossip in the neighborhood?
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Everybody can count to nine.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: She shows up in maternity clothes really early on. I mean,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: it follows him like a snake all of his life.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: When he's an adult, there are these who hate him saying,
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: we know who our father is, implying you illegitimate. You know,
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: the hero in the story is Joseph. I mean, Joseph
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: marries her. Doesn't touch her. Verse 25, he kept her
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: a virgin until she gave birth to a son. That
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: is quite a man, I'll tell you.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: You know why?
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: Because a marriage can endure the strangest of circumstances. A
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: marriage can endure it. That's a third principle I want
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: you to remember. And I know if we listen to
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: all of you, you all have stories you could tell
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: of the strangest of circumstances you've survived. Now, I want
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: to make a disclaimer here because some of you are
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: really now believing I'm a dinosaur. So let me let
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: me get on the same level with you. I don't
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: want to be overbearing regarding any of this. I want
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: to be biblical to the core, but I also want
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: to be realistic. There are times when divorce is permitted.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: There are times when the body of Christ needs to
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: accept that, face it, and lovingly move through it. There
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: are times when for the sake of your safety, you
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: need to get away from a partner that would kill
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: you or beat you mercilessly.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: If he could.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I realize that everything can be spun in a certain
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: manner from a pulpit, making an unbearable situation seem oversimplified.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do that. I live in the
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: very real world.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: I've been in ministry over 40 years. I've helped a
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: lot of folks going through terrible times. My heart has
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: been broken more times than I can count when I
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: have witnessed situations where If there hadn't been a break,
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: it would have been disastrous.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: But it's the exception.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: My message is all about that being the exception. It's
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: all about from now on with you, okay? I don't
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: want you to jump into it ahead of time. I
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: read somewhere that two procedures should never be entered into prematurely,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: divorce and embalming. That's good advice. You don't want to
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: squirt that stuff in his veins before he's gone, you know?
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: That's kind of a harsh way to put it, but
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: you know. You don't want to jump in and, okay, okay,
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: right now, yes, divorce.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: I'm out of here. Wait. Wait.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Stop. Is that what God wants? And I'm pleading for
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: your marriage. Is that what God wants? Is that within
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: the framework of what God has provided and given for you?
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: You justify that biblically? Step up to that.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: These are principles that I want you to see in
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: all that Adam and Eve withstood, all that Hosea and
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Gomer went through, all that Joseph and Mary went through.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: I just want you to see the principles.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: Give it a chance. Give it your best, best shot.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: Every couple I know has had reason to really reconsider,
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: should I have gotten into this?
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: It's a reasonably good marriage.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: And there's something about lasting that gives a message to
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: your kids that is very, very healthy.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: In most occasions.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: Not all.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: Now, a couple of closing comments. If marriage is going
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: to survive, commitment is the key. That's the key you
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: play in.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: I am committed. I know it went sour. I know
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: this has happened. I know these times are such and such,
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: but I am committed to this relationship.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: It isn't a little pattering of the heart under a
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: moonlit night in Hawaii. It isn't a lovely little ceremony
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: where you say, I do. That won't hold your marriage together.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: It isn't wonderful vows that you write and say them
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: in British English.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: It isn't... It isn't that. That will hold no marriage together.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: It is the gut level commitment that says, no matter what,
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: I'm in here.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: I'm there. I'm staying. Then if you cannot at.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: That point and you can find the justification in the scriptures,
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: then you cannot.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: Give it a chance.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: If any marriage is going to survive, commitment is the key.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Here's the second one. If commitment is the key, Christ
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: is the law. Christ is the lock. I'm amazed that
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: any unsaved marriage stays together.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: Many of them do.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: I'm amazed that a lot worse doesn't happen to those
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: without Christ. We don't have a lot better record than
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: they do, by the way. So before we get stuffy
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: about it, check the figures. His presence in our lives,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: His power at work, his prevailing encouragement, his compassion, so
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: that we forgive, really forgive a partner who's really blown it,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: just really forgives him. I got this letter from a
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: lady who had heard me speak on commitment several years ago.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: I've decided to remain steadfast in commitment to my own
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: marriage that was in the middle of a divorce action.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: God has changed me. He has given me a new
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: love for my husband, and in turn my husband has
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: been changing in his attitude toward me. He's still uncommitted
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: about his relationship with Jesus, a miracle I am anticipating.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Six months ago, we sat and listened to a non-Christian
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: counselor tell us to get on with the divorce because
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: there was absolutely nothing left in our marriage and no
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: basis upon which to build. Well, God's grace has allowed
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: the contrary. It's still a real struggle some days, but
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: I've learned that as we pull toward each other rather
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: than push at each other, The direction is more secure
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: and sound. So commitment is not just another word in
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: my vocabulary. It's become a real part of my life.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: And it starts with Christ. It really does. I'd like
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: you to bow with me, please. Just quietly sit right there.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: There's never been a time in your life when you
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: have said to the Lord Jesus Christ, I need you.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: I believe in you.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: I accept you. Your death on my behalf. I am
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: lost and you're able to save me. I come to
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: you now, Lord Jesus Christ. And I trust you for
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: eternal salvation. Thank you for coming into my life. We
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: have very qualified counselors who will talk straight with you
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: about salvation. invite you to come today. Thank you, Father,
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: for this great symphony which is played on year after year.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Thank you for my parents who stuck it out. Thank
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: you for Cynthia's parents who stuck it out. Thank you
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: for most of these who are hanging in there through
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: difficult children, hardship, bankruptcy, heartbreak, tragedy, disappointment, perhaps even adultery.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Through the pain and heartache that sin brings, thank you
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: for giving us grace to make it. May only good
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: come from this, not confusion. May strength come from this,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: not weakness. May commitment emerge where there has been compromise.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: And we will give you the glory. Through Jesus Christ,
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: we pray. Everybody say it.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 47:33
  Speaker 4: The preceding message, Symphony of Survival in the Key of C,
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: was copyrighted in 2004 and 2006, and the sound recording
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: was copyrighted in 2006 by Charles R.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: Swindoll, Inc.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: commercial use is strictly prohibited.
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: Charles R. Swindoll, Inc.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: Is grateful to Breakpoint for permission to use the article
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: titled The Summer of Bad Husbands, Lessons in Selfishness.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: Copyrighted in 2004 by Charles Coulson.