Latest / Math Therapy / The unexpected text that turned my day around (and may turn yours around too)
Transcript
- 0:04Vanessa Vakharia: Okay, guys.
- 0:05Vanessa Vakharia: I feel, I feel weird saying,"Hi, and welcome to another episode of Math Therapy," because I'm not supposed to be welcoming you to another episode of Math Therapy, because there's not supposed to be another episode because I'm on vacation.
- 0:16Vanessa Vakharia: And as you heard at the end of the last episode, I was like,"Guys, I'm going on vacation.
- 0:21Vanessa Vakharia: I will not be recording another episode.
- 0:23Vanessa Vakharia: I'm not working for seven days," which is true.
- 0:26Vanessa Vakharia: But David has always taught me not to leave the house without a mic, and so I packed my mic just in case something crazy happened, and something crazy kinda did happen.
- 0:36Vanessa Vakharia: So I was like,"You know what?
- 0:37Vanessa Vakharia: Gotta whip the mic out." It's gonna be short, but I do feel like I have gotten a nudge from the universe, and I feel called to tell you about it.
- 0:48Vanessa Vakharia: Because I woke up this morning, guys, and I had a text message from jail, and I was like...
- 0:54Vanessa Vakharia: I, I'm sorry.
- 0:55Vanessa Vakharia: I have to read it out loud on the pod.
- 0:59Vanessa Vakharia: Now let me back up and remind you that I work with an organization called the Prison Mathematics Project.
- 1:04Vanessa Vakharia: As you may recall, back in season three, I interviewed Christopher Havens.
- 1:07Vanessa Vakharia: He's an incredible human who is currently incarcerated, serving a 25-year sentence, and he started something called the Prison Mathematics Project, an incredible organization that helps prisoners rehabilitate with math across North America.
- 1:21Vanessa Vakharia: Now, as part of the volunteering that I do with them, I write a quarterly column in their newsletter where it's like, it's like a ask-the-math-guru type thing.
- 1:31Vanessa Vakharia: So inmates will write in and say things like,"I'm trying to work on a math problem and I'm stuck," or, I'm getting really, really frustrated.
- 1:37Vanessa Vakharia: I feel really anxious.
- 1:38Vanessa Vakharia: I feel stressed." And I'll help them out and we talk it through together.
- 1:42Vanessa Vakharia: It's really, really cool.
- 1:43Vanessa Vakharia: But another amazing thing is Math Therapy, our podcast, is available on the tablet system throughout every single American prison, which means incarcerated individuals get to listen to Math Therapy.
- 1:56Vanessa Vakharia: Well, or I have the honor of having them listen to Math Therapy.
- 1:59Vanessa Vakharia: I also communicate one-on-one with a few of them, and Timothy Jones and I have been working together so that he can create a Math Therapy group at his facility.
- 2:08Vanessa Vakharia: And when I say working together, I mean he's done all of the work.
- 2:11Vanessa Vakharia: He just submitted a 28-page proposal.
- 2:13Vanessa Vakharia: I sent him, like, a couple of books and, I'm a cheer squad.
- 2:16Vanessa Vakharia: But he's done it all on his own.
- 2:18Vanessa Vakharia: He's tutoring people at his facility.
- 2:20Vanessa Vakharia: He's creating a community and trying to create an actual group where they can work through math therapy together, which is so, so, so cool.
- 2:29Vanessa Vakharia: And everyone listening, I want you to know that I'm vouching for this so, so hard, and I'm happy to do whatever to make it happen because, I mean, what a cool vibe.
- 2:38Vanessa Vakharia: Now, on this particular day, Timothy Jones has texted me.
- 2:42Vanessa Vakharia: Why?
- 2:43Vanessa Vakharia: Because he listened to my episode about my spiral.
- 2:47Vanessa Vakharia: So I feel like I have to read this to you because as you guys know, the past couple of episodes I've been working through like my own anxiety spiral around feeling out of control and that being triggered by taxes and then turning into a whole thing about to-do lists and like productivity and am I good enough and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 3:05Vanessa Vakharia: Anyways, I'm not even gonna say too much more because I'm gonna let the words of Timothy Jones speak for themselves.
- 3:11Vanessa Vakharia: Because you know what?
- 3:12Vanessa Vakharia: This text message contains so much great advice and just reminds me that we are all, as Ram Dass said, walking each other home.
- 3:19Vanessa Vakharia: We all have these incredible gifts to share with one another, and I just feel so, so lucky to be the recipient of such a gift today, and I wanna share it with you.
- 3:28Vanessa Vakharia: By the way, before I read this out loud, I just wanna make sure you guys know that I have Timothy's permission to share this with you guys Okay, so I'm just gonna read the text message out verbatim: listened to your podcast and I had to respond.
- 3:41Vanessa Vakharia: I can relate with what you're going through.
- 3:43Vanessa Vakharia: I have to be doing 20 things at once to properly function.
- 3:46Vanessa Vakharia: It drives people crazy.
- 3:47Vanessa Vakharia: Taxes are an issue, but here are a few ideas.
- 3:51Vanessa Vakharia: Number one, convert your taxes into a word problem.
- 3:53Vanessa Vakharia: Seriously, turn them into something you can relate to.
- 3:56Vanessa Vakharia: You can also teach yourself taxes either online or buy one of those books.
- 4:00Vanessa Vakharia: Then there's the option of, as you asked for, an accountant.
- 4:03Vanessa Vakharia: If you go with an accountant, then have her or him show you how to do taxes so you will know how in the future.
- 4:09Vanessa Vakharia: Organization.
- 4:10Vanessa Vakharia: Hire a personal assistant or someone to come in and organize everything for you.
- 4:14Vanessa Vakharia: You can also set one day aside and spend that entire day doing nothing but organizing everything.
- 4:19Vanessa Vakharia: Then you have to spend at least 20 to 30 minutes each day updating your stuff so you do not get behind again.
- 4:25Vanessa Vakharia: I would just like to interrupt right now by saying that Mel Robbins gave this exact same advice on one of her recent podcasts.
- 4:32Vanessa Vakharia: She called it like setting aside a personal admin day where you like sit and just get everything organized, do all that admin work.
- 4:39Vanessa Vakharia: But she did not mention the part of you need to spend some time every day updating your stuff so you don't get behind again.
- 4:45Vanessa Vakharia: Great advice.
- 4:45Vanessa Vakharia: Back to the text.
- 4:46Vanessa Vakharia: Now onto the main issue, your downward spiral.
- 4:48Vanessa Vakharia: I can definitely relate.
- 4:49Vanessa Vakharia: I've gone through spirals myself.
- 4:51Vanessa Vakharia: As a child, ages six to 18, I was raised in institutions where I suffered daily forms of abuse, including verbal, being told I was stupid, useless, unlovable, et cetera.
- 5:01Vanessa Vakharia: Over time, I came to believe these lies.
- 5:03Vanessa Vakharia: Later in life, something would happen and I would remember that I was stupid, which opened the door for other misbeliefs to creep in until I was spiraling down once again.
- 5:11Vanessa Vakharia: One thing led to another.
- 5:12Vanessa Vakharia: I started self-therapy late in life, and I had to start with the root cause.
- 5:16Vanessa Vakharia: I had to figure out what was the start of my issues, in my case, abuse, and then I had to change my way of thinking.
- 5:22Vanessa Vakharia: For me, it was why I used to believe, but now I know.
- 5:26Vanessa Vakharia: Why was because when you're told something over and over again on a daily basis, it then becomes your truth.
- 5:32Vanessa Vakharia: Next, I had to change that lie into my new truth.
- 5:35Vanessa Vakharia: I started by writing down all of the false things that I was told and why they were false.
- 5:40Vanessa Vakharia: Then I wrote down all of the things that I knew to be true, all of the good things about me that contradicted those lies.
- 5:46Vanessa Vakharia: Whenever I would start to spiral, I would pull out my notes and read them out loud, reinforcing my new truths.
- 5:51Vanessa Vakharia: Writing it down, then reading it out loud helps to reinforce the positive message.
- 5:56Vanessa Vakharia: You utilize multiple senses when doing this.
- 5:58Vanessa Vakharia: You have to think about what to write, then actually write it, then read it, then say it out loud.
- 6:02Vanessa Vakharia: So you cover mental, visual, and audio reinforcements.
- 6:05Vanessa Vakharia: Fair warning, I've done self-therapy for 20 years and I'm still a fucking train wreck.
- 6:09Vanessa Vakharia: It is a daily ongoing project that takes dedication, but I'm so much better than I was.
- 6:14Vanessa Vakharia: Vanessa, you are a wonderful, intelligent, creative, talented, and caring person.
- 6:18Vanessa Vakharia: I can tell you that every day and it don't mean squat unless you believe that and you say it about yourself.
- 6:22Vanessa Vakharia: Make a list of all your accomplishments.
- 6:24Vanessa Vakharia: Don't be modest about it.
- 6:26Vanessa Vakharia: Whenever you start to doubt yourself or you start to go into a spiral, pull out that list and look at it.
- 6:30Vanessa Vakharia: Think about all that you had to do to achieve those things, and tell yourself that you are fucking awesome.
- 6:35Vanessa Vakharia: If you ever need to vent, need an ear to listen, want to bitch or moan, or simply wanna complain, remember I'm here.
- 6:40Vanessa Vakharia: You have a captive audience in me.
- 6:42Vanessa Vakharia: Oh my God.
- 6:43Vanessa Vakharia: Oh my God.
- 6:44Vanessa Vakharia: He said,"You have a captive audience in me," in air quotes, and a smiley face emoji.
- 6:50Vanessa Vakharia: Yeah, that's, that's a good one.
- 6:52Vanessa Vakharia: Always remember you help others, and that makes you a very unique and special person.
- 6:56Vanessa Vakharia: Each morning when you wake up, tell yourself that you're awesome, you're special, and that you are loved.
- 6:59Vanessa Vakharia: Hope this helped.
- 7:01Vanessa Vakharia: Okay, I'm, I'm kind of speechless and don't wanna even say anything'cause I feel like the letter speaks for itself.
- 7:08Vanessa Vakharia: So I think I will just leave it there and say, wow.
- 7:12Vanessa Vakharia: I hope you take a lot of those words to heart yourself.
- 7:15Vanessa Vakharia: He-- I couldn't have said it any better, and I think a lot of those words will probably find their way into my next Math Therapy book.
- 7:23Vanessa Vakharia: Some really, really, really good advice in there.
- 7:27Vanessa Vakharia: And honestly, I'm just gonna repeat that line again.
- 7:32Vanessa Vakharia: You guys, you are all wonderful, intelligent, creative, talented, and caring people.
- 7:36Vanessa Vakharia: I can tell you guys that every day, and it don't mean squat unless you believe that and say it about yourself.
- 7:42Vanessa Vakharia: I think I'm just gonna wrap it up right there and say thank you guys all so much for listening.
- 7:46Vanessa Vakharia: I hope you take that advice to heart.
- 7:47Vanessa Vakharia: I know I will be.
- 7:49Vanessa Vakharia: And just a reminder that there really is kindness everywhere, there is wisdom everywhere.
- 7:54Vanessa Vakharia: We are all here on the planet just helping one another out, and it's kind of amazing to think that you don't know where that, that next little gem, that little diamond, that little thing that makes you go,"Huh," and makes your life a little bit better will come from.
- 8:08Vanessa Vakharia: So hopefully it came from Timothy Jones today because I know it did for me, and I hope that shed a little light on your day and gave you that feeling that you just never know.
- 8:19Vanessa Vakharia: You just never know.
- 8:19Vanessa Vakharia: All right, guys.
- 8:21Vanessa Vakharia: Thank you so much.
- 8:22Vanessa Vakharia: I will be back next week with an actual episode, a full ep- well, this was an actual episode.
- 8:26Vanessa Vakharia: What am I talking about?
- 8:27Vanessa Vakharia: This was an episode.
- 8:28Vanessa Vakharia: But you know, this was a mini episode.
- 8:30Vanessa Vakharia: I hope you guys, by the way, listen to what dropped yesterday from HeartWork AKA Imagine Learning's podcast because I am featured on that with Deborah Peart and one of my old students, Emma Fogel, and it is a crazy second episode of a three-part series, this investigative, like really deep dive series into math anxiety.
- 8:49Vanessa Vakharia: So go look up Imagine Learning, go do that, and I'm gonna let you guys go.
- 8:52Vanessa Vakharia: You rock.
- 8:53Vanessa Vakharia: Text the podcast if you have any thoughts.
- 8:55Vanessa Vakharia: Look up Prison Mathematics Project.
- 8:56Vanessa Vakharia: They're looking for help.
- 8:57Vanessa Vakharia: They're looking for volunteers.
- 8:58Vanessa Vakharia: They're looking for funding to keep on going.
- 9:00Vanessa Vakharia: It's an incredible, incredible program.
- 9:03Vanessa Vakharia: All right.
- 9:04Vanessa Vakharia: Bye guys.
- 9:04Vanessa Vakharia: See you on the other side.