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Transcript

Introducing Stories for Robots · Stories for Robots

• 0:01
  Griffin: In a world where human behavior is confusing and weird.
• 0:06
  Vector: I do not understand pants.
• 0:08
  Griffin: Vector, not now.
• 0:10
  Two robots are doing the best they can to figure it all out.
• 0:15
  Spark: Okay, but is salad lettuce or is it like meat and mayonnaise and pasta?
• 0:19
  Griffin: Guys, guys, you gotta stop interrupting.
• 0:21
  I'm trying to do my trailer narrator guy voice.
• 0:24
  Spark: Is that what that was?
• 0:25
  Vector: You sound like you need medical attention.
• 0:27
  Griffin: Fine, I'll just use my normal voice.
• 0:30
  I'm Griffin Schwed.
• 0:32
  Each week, join me,
• 0:33
  Griffin: Spark, and Vector on Stories for Robots, a new show
• 0:37
  where I'll be telling some of humanity's greatest and most timeless
• 0:40
  stories to these two bolt buckets.
• 0:43
  Vector: That is extremely offensive in robot culture.
• 0:46
  We prefer the chrome and cadmium community.
• 0:49
  Griffin: Sorry.
• 0:50
  In season one, I'll be telling the real stories behind the movies just
• 0:54
  about every human on Earth has seen.
• 0:56
  Spark: We're talking Aladdin, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast.
• 1:01
  Griffin: Yeah,
• 1:02
  and the originals are pretty different from the ones you know.
• 1:05
  For example, the real Little Mermaid has serious competition from another princess.
• 1:10
  Spark: Hey, no spoilers.
• 1:12
  Griffin: I wasn't gonna.
• 1:13
  Oh, and the real Cinderella?
• 1:15
  No fairy godmother at all.
• 1:17
  The magic comes from a bird that lives in a tree
• 1:20
  Spark: Oh yeah, but we like to think of her as a fairy godpigeon.
• 1:23
  Griffin: And Aladdin?
• 1:24
  Did you know there were actually two genies and multiple evil wizards?
• 1:28
  Vector: Fun fact, All wizards have terrible facial hair.
• 1:32
  Griffin: Right.
• 1:33
  Every episode, you'll hear the real story, weird parts included, alongside
• 1:37
  two robots hearing it for the first time.
• 1:39
  Vector: You will laugh until your arms fall off.
• 1:41
  Griffin: That is not a thing.
• 1:43
  Vector: You will laugh until you barf.
• 1:44
  Griffin: Legally, I can't promise that, but maybe.
• 1:49
  Parents, your kids are gonna wanna hear this show, and so are you.
• 1:53
  These original versions of the classics are timeless, weird, completely
• 1:57
  enchanting, and nothing like you remember.
• 2:00
  So press follow wherever you're listening, and episode one of
• 2:02
  Stories for Robots will show up in your feed all by itself this fall.
• 2:07
  Vector: Press it now before you forget.
• 2:09
  Spark: Oh yeah, if you don't follow now, you're totally gonna forget.
• 2:12
  Vector: How many gigabytes of RAM do humans have?
• 2:16
  Spark: It doesn't work that way.
• 2:17
  They remember what they want and forget everything else.
• 2:20
  Vector: Fascinating.
• 2:21
  So inferior.
• 2:22
  Spark: Yeah, but they're so cute.
• 2:24
  I love them.