Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.101 | Increasing Visibility, Climbing Cringe Mountain & Building a Life that Supports Your Business with Shay & Mariah

Transcript

Ep.101 | Increasing Visibility, Climbing Cringe Mountain & Building a Life that Supports Your Business with Shay & Mariah · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: We're your hosts, Mariah.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: And hey guys, I'm Shay.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: We're two online business consultants passionate about rewriting the rules to success within both life and business.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: We believe that curiosity is our superpower.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: And trusting the nudge is a muscle that's meant to be strengthened.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Especially if we want to create a life that feels good from the inside out.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're ready to open your mind and let curiosity guide the way, let's get into the episode.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: All right, friends, what's up?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to season six of the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: I can't believe we have this is episode 101.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we, to pull the curtain back for you guys a little bit, have actually shot this episode once before, about six months ago.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: We've actually been working on this season for quite some time, which is different from uh from what we've done in the past.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: Usually we kind of are recording the seasons as we go and releasing them.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: And this time around, we wanted to be a bit more intentional with like the season as a whole and what the through line is and the stories that we're telling.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: So we shot this episode about six months ago, and now we're ready to launch this season, and we realized that what we shot is sounding a bit dated, and we wanted to just kind of uh redo it, honestly.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: You know, um I know it's like it's not all about perfection here, but we did want to, we're really excited about this season.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of things have changed for both Mariah and I and the podcast.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of wonderful things we got cooking, a lot of really cool interviews.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: We have new sponsors this season.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: We've just had a lot of um updates in our business and life.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: So we are going to reshoot the introduction to this season and kind of give you guys a preview of what's going on, what's been going on in our business, what's been popping up for us on our journeys.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: So, with that, welcome back to the Curiously Guided Podcast, episode six.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah, how are you feeling?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Season six, episode 101.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's insane, dude.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: When you say it out loud, it almost sounds really it almost sounds like we're like OG podcasters.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we know what we're doing, and it's like, do we?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we we still have some audio troubles.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: We're like, well, what the fuck are we doing for this intro?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: We're just like, I'm not saying that we don't know what we're doing, but like we're just fucking flopping around, y'all.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we're hanging out.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: We just got a scheduling link for some guests.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: I just put that together.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I saw somebody post, they were like, I won't say yes to a podcast interview unless there's a scheduling link.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, yo, I've been doing this shit manually, dog.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I all right.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I guess let's let's see what we can do.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: We updated like some words on the website.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: That felt good.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like the biggest news, I mean, you guys are gonna start hearing it throughout the episodes of the season, but we have an incredible sponsor for season six of the podcast.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: So for the next 20 episodes, all of them are sponsored by Adobe Acrobat, which feels like a dream.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this feels incredible.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is so fun.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: We're really, really excited to share kind of like what we're doing with this season and all of that.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: But like season six, it did take us a while in order to like put our thoughts together.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to say get a strategy, but like find the time where it felt good.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like divine timing, right?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like me and Shay are not people that it's like we're pushing out a season just to do it because we set no, like we want it to feel good because we know that as a listener, you can feel it.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: If we feel like we're doing it just to like check a box, or that like our energy really isn't behind it, or like we're rushing into something, like you're gonna be able to feel that.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that is not the reason why we started this podcast.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: We did it because like we're fucking excited about it.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so we really wanted to wait until like that curiosity, I think, landed with both of us.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: I like how you said that, and that's a great tie-in to where I wanted to start this conversation.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: There are certainly a lot of podcasters out there that are pumping out episodes.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah was just on a podcast where the host literally does an episode a day for the past like a thousand plus days, and that just blew my mind.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that that is awesome.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if that is your personality and you're you're just like every day like this, I want to do it, like that's great.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I know people love that.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: But Mariah and I are just like absolutely the opposite of that.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: And one thing I've loved about this podcast is we have done it on our own terms the entire time.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like when we first started, everyone was saying, short form content, do short form, and we were like, no, we we need to have long ass, deep ass conversations, and that's what we're doing, and that's what y'all love.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like our people, that's what they're here for.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: And in the same, like, yes, of course, we could have just like pumped out maybe two other seasons in the meantime that it's taken us to do this one, but we really just didn't want to.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't feeling in life-giving, energizing.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: We really we take time scheduling these interviews, you guys.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we're really intentional with who we bring on.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: We do a lot of thinking about what we want to talk about with them and like what we want the through line of the season to be.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: So, our approach, that's what I love about the online world.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: There's like a million different ways to skin a cat, right?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: And our our podcast, I think it's a really cool example of do it for the love of it and do it how you want.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: You can really slice and dice this any way you want.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you can see our podcast has kind of been on this slow simmer, it's growing.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: We're so excited about it.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I actually wanted to like hop in.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: So Mariah just got interviewed on a podcast yesterday, like I mentioned, and she tell us a little bit about it and then we can kind of get to the comments.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I was interviewed on a podcast yesterday and it released today.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: So he records a podcast every single day over a thousand days in a row, which is wild.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's funny because this podcast went live and like I had no idea what the thumbnail was gonna look like.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea what the comments were gonna be.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And because he's creating so much content, like he doesn't have the time to like prep the guests or like send you questions beforehand.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: So, to be honest, this was more of like a referral from one of my PR friends.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, Hey, we were interviewed on this podcast, it's in your industry.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think you're gonna do really great.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Okay, cool.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I went in here blind.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't really know how it was gonna go, what questions were gonna be asked of me.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And like my assumption was that most of his audience was like advanced SEO people, which is not my audience.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: And like, I didn't go to school for this.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: I've never worked in an agency.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I was telling my husband, I was like, I'm expecting the worst and to just flounder on this interview.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: But like I could tell when we were like halfway through the interview that the host is really enjoying it.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I noticed that some of his episodes are a little shorter, they're like 20 minutes, and some of them are longer than an hour.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: We ended up going over an hour.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, he's like digging it.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like this is pretty, this is pretty cool.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: So, like my ego is getting like a little pat on the back, right?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so the episode releases, and one of my one of my friends that's also in the SEO industry took a screenshot of the thumbnail and he texted it to me, and he knows about the podcast.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, Oh my god, like, congratulations! Like, oh my god.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: I took one look at this thumbnail.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, yo, this fucker did me dirty dog.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like I the thumbnail is so unflattering that I look like a toenail, and I just like am laughing so hard.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: And like, here's the thing I've been on the online space for a while.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: I've had unflattering pictures.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Some of my thumbnails, I will I used to choose ugly photos sometimes, like just for the hell of it.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, you know what?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I can get behind it.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like ugly photos get engagement.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's just the way it is.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So then, of course, I'm not gonna start listening back to this interview because like I still get a little cringe.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, nah, there were some moments where I like flubbed around a little bit.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to hear it.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I started looking at the comments.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Mistake.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just kidding.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: They they totally weren't that bad.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: There was actually, I think that right now it released a couple hours ago, and there's like 11 comments, and most of them were really nice.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: They were like, this is super insightful.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Some of them were asking questions about like what I said, um, and that type of thing.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then I see one comment that says, This interview makes me want to drink decaf coffee.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What is he talking about, dude?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: But like me and the host were both like on another level in terms of like how quick we were talking, like we were cutting each other off.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like we were just having a time.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, Oh, so I started laughing, and then I see the sub comment under that, and it was somebody else saying, like, um, oh my God, totally like, yeah, like what?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, yeah.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, is that what I sound like?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then I ran into the other room and I asked my husband, I go, Do I talk like that?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, I mean, not to me, but maybe you did on the interview.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, why am I only thinking about this one shitty comment when everybody else is literally like, oh my God, I love this.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's so insightful.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like replaying in my head, like, oh my God, like, what?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, here I go again.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like, like.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, oh my God, do I say this all the time?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then I started laughing and I go, of course, yes, of course I do, because I talk like a normal human and I'm just like hanging out.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just always a weird experience being on the internet.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: It really is.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: I when Riot told me we were channeling before we pressed record, and I was like, oh, we gotta share this on the podcast because I am, as you guys know, if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, being visible at that level has been absolutely terrifying for me.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: And that is like the journey for me.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: And the idea of getting hateful comments maybe a couple years ago literally felt so crushing to me.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so I am now starting, and we'll talk about a bit more about this.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm starting to share content.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: I really think that's the future.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: I think we should all be sharing content about something.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but the negative comments, I'm terrified of them.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I actually got my first negative comments recently um on a friend's video, and they were calling like me cringe or something, and it made me delighted.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: I was telling Mariah, I I felt not how I was expecting.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: I did not feel any shame or any like, and of course, like it's what we all know, like the good stuff, it's really easy to let that like slide off of you, but then the bad stuff sticks.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: But then I was like finding these negative comments, and it was like feeding me.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, fuck yes, because what I've realized, you guys, I heard someone, Mariah and I went to a conference last year, and I think someone may have talked about like cringe mountain, and just like you have to climb cringe mountain to get to where you want to go.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like the begin, especially the beginning when you're starting something new, it feels awkward, it feels oh, forced and stiff, and it's a struggle.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: I'm there right now, and that's it.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there is no avoiding that.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_02: And so I have just fully accepted that like the goals that I want, diversified streams of income, you know, uh creating something that I've built on my own around an interest that I have, all of these goals that I have for my life right now, it's at the top of cringe mountain.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so I have to climb it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like I cannot literally, you guys, I've spent this five seasons of this podcast figuring out ways to avoid this mountain to climb.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: And there is no avoiding it.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like I have to just eat it.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: I have to be cringe and just keep being cringe over and over because don't I know that the people that I'm admiring, they fucking climbed that mountain.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: They did so many things that made them feel cringy and like people called them cringe.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: But what Ryan and I were noticing about her haters is it's good to remember that the people that are sitting there making fun, counting your likes and ums and making fun of your coffee intake or making fun of your cringe level.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: You remember where they are.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: They're consuming, they are not waking up early, they are not prepping for the podcast episode, they are not putting themselves out there and feeling.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody that's creating content is not commenting on another person's content with criticism of that level.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're not, because we all understand like what it takes.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I really love that that analogy of like you have to climb cringe.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Is it an analogy or a metaphor?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: I don't fucking know the difference, but it I love it.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: I just love it.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think that it's so good and it makes it stick so much, and it's so funny because like when you were telling me, you were like, Yeah, I like read these comments and I'm getting fired up, and I'm like, hell yeah.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's like my reaction is like, I want to go to this curmudgeon's house and be like, now it's time to interview you, my dude.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because was it a dude?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Of course it was.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, let's interview you and let's see how like you show up.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's just so it's so silly to me.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: I get like so fired up because I think it was Brene Brown that's like, you can't take criticism from people that aren't willing to get in the ring.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: You can't.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad you brought up Renee.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: I was just about to bring up Renee.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's like so cliche, but it's hard to remember when you're sitting here reading all of these negative comments, and and you're like, these people aren't brave enough to show up and put something out.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: So they're it feels more comfortable to sit behind a screen and type something to tear you down because that makes them feel better.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, think about it.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Literally, like we're all in this ring in like the Greek times, like fighting Trojans or whatever, we're fighting together.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: Those are the people that you should care about their opinions.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: And like Mariah said, those people are rarely saying negative shit.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: And if they're saying something to you, it's typically constructive and like said from a place of love and incredibly helpful most of the time.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's been really helpful for me of remembering like, oh, I feel like excited, like, oh, I'm now in the ring.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I that like fires me up.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just weird.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: I never expected, and I'm still nervous, of course, you know, but like I never expected that that kind of thing could actually fuel my fire as opposed to just like extinguish me.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you want to know what's funny is that, you know, obviously, like this content wasn't posted on my channel, but on my channel, I've had people post like nasty comments, and before I used to, I used to go to bat.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: I used to be like, oh yeah, and like respond to them.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, sometimes I will respond like in a funny way, and then other times, like lately, I've just been deleting them.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you don't get to comment and leave a comment on my shit that's like not constructive or not a question, or just like, hey, why did you say like that when like you really meant it?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like it wasn't anything helpful.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was basically just like skip to five minutes and 55 seconds when she actually gets to the point.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, oh no.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's just, I don't know.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm finding like a lot of freedom and just fucking deleting them.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Who gives a shit?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: This season of the Curiously Guided Podcast, including this episode, is sponsored by Adobe Acrobat.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the thing: this isn't the same old Adobe Acrobat that you remember.
• 15:42
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• 16:09
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• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: So any resource that we've mentioned in this episode or any other one that's currently published, you can grab it, ask about it, and dig into it.
• 16:23
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• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: You'll be impressed, we promise.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: And she told me that she started doing that to her comments.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: She just deletes negative comments and blocks them.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, wow.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: And it but her reasoning I loved.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: She said, I am spending all of this time pouring my heart and soul into this stuff to give you free content to consume.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: And how dare you pollute that space with negativity?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: You don't deserve to be in my space.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: You don't deserve my presence gone, blocked.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yes, fuck yes.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's the right energy, you know?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so I love the idea because I mean I am the arguer.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm sitting here arguing with people that don't even exist about what I would say.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: But I think like realizing that you're arguing with someone in the crowd and they just don't even have the right frame of reference, there's nothing to be gained there.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, it was a bit of um how to say this.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't need I think I had this need to be right.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like I had this need that you understood, you fully understood.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's what it is.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_02: I don't need to be understood.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think that was it's okay if I'm not understood by everyone.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: I think that there's a piece of me that like if someone says something, I'm like, well, you did you took that wrong, you didn't, and let me explain it.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: It's like no need.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: I don't need to be understood by this person.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like this person can just float away.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: That that's the perspective shift that changes everything.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that, I mean, even now I can get sucked into that, but like that has always been the hardest thing.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: And like, I think why I've always wanted to be so prepared when I create content because it's like, hey, I want to make sure that I'm doing a good job.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's very important to me.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be able to feel proud of my work.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: But like in the very beginning, I would script everything.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: I used to have people call me out for reading the scripts, and I was like, Well, you don't want me to be rambly.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want that.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, now I haven't created a script in forever.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like, I just remember in the beginning, being misunderstood was like my biggest fear.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: I tried to avoid it at all costs.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what questions are they gonna ask?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: And try to just like, well, where are they coming from?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, there's no fucking way that I could consider everybody's perspective in what situation they're coming in.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, even from the SEO in the website industry.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know if you're starting a business, if you're an intern.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you're a college student, you might be a 12-year-old trying to create like a fucking Roblox website.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have no idea.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: You might be a 97-year-old person that's like trying to edit their husband's website.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you I don't know.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: There's no way that I can consider all of this.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that's such a good perspective shift that you really have to open yourself up to because it does not come easy for me, at least.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: No, and I want to fight and argue.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so the it's like the next levels in to be able to be like, nope, I'm just gonna let this one float on by.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: But um, I actually would love to give you guys an update, you know.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: So Mariah's business, in my perspective, has really blown up and taken off.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, Mariah, would you mind giving us a little bit of an update on what you've been up to, what you've created in your business, what's going on?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: So since the last season, I think one of the coolest things, in my opinion, is I started an SEO membership.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's called Search Club.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's fun, I don't think that I did I start that when there was another, I don't think so.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so Search Club has been on my mind for six years.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that I wanted to start an SEO membership, but if I would have started it six years ago, it would be, it would not be sustainable.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: It would not be something that I wanted to do.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: I would have all of these expectations.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's got to replace my service income.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I need a shit ton of people, or I need to charge like a fuck ton of money.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I need to make money from this.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: And like, you can't go into a new membership thinking like that.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: You can't, even if it's like a little bit more high ticket.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so my membership is considered a high ticket membership.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you pay monthly, which it's not a month-to-month membership right now, you have to join for six months, but if you were to pay monthly, it's like a over$150 a month.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like, that is a high ticket membership.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like, I didn't expect a shit ton of people in there.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: But the way that I looked at it, I just kept checking in with myself.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, this feels so fun to be able to create a space where people are DIYing their SEO.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I I probably said on the podcast so many times, my favorite thing in business is getting asked questions.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: If I can get paid to get asked questions, like I would be living my dream life, and that's exactly what it is.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like I created a curriculum that people walk through, but they're very bite-sized.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's like eight to 15 minute videos.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: I created a workbook.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: We have weekly calls.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: Once a month, it's a QA.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: Once a month, we have a co-working session, and then once a month, I call it a take what you need call.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: So it's you can use it for coworking or you can use it for questions.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: And like people fucking love it, especially like my perspective in there because my audience is business owners, and a lot of the times business owners don't want to do their SEO because they think that they have to become an SEO expert.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't, you just have to do an hour a week.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: If you have an hour a week to implement SEO, we can get you results.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: And like I have never seen that messaging anywhere in the online space.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it just, it's so good.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I like wholeheartedly believe in it and I'm confident in that because that's what works for my business, because the shoemakers' kids have no shoes.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like I went a year and a half without creating any blog content.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: My SEO did not dip.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't grow, but it didn't dip.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like if you can create something that like is building momentum while you're doing all of your other marketing.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, like, it can be another episode about why I like SEO so much, still, even in the age of AI.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: But this membership has been so fun because I'm literally getting content ideas.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm getting feedback.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm getting questions.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm literally getting paid for market research every single month.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I really love that I don't have it month to month.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: I really love that people have to sign up and commit to it.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: I like that it's smaller.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, I have no fucking idea how I'm gonna scale it.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like right now, there's no way that I could handle probably more than 40 members.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: 40 to 50 members would be my tap out point of like, this is too many people because they can submit a piece of content every week for me to provide feedback.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I don't know how I'm gonna scale it, but right now I've gotten such good feedback.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like people are talking about it on threads, they're like recommending it to people.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's naturally coming up.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: And the best part is is like, it doesn't feel like that big of a deal.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: If I would have started this six years ago, it would have felt like everything.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: It would have felt like if only three people join, I failed.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that would have gutted me.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like, so that's like a huge thing.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that my business is really going to like center around this membership.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: It feels really fun.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so having something that feels fun that's going to be in like the center of my ecosystem feels really, really cool.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I just want to zoom out for the audience a little bit.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: If I know that we've kind of mentioned bits and pieces of this along the way, but I mean, six years ago, Mariah's right, she's been talking to me about the same things consistently.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: She wanted to start a membership and she wanted to be seen more as an educator.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: For those of you that aren't in the uh online SEO business world at the time when we first started having these conversations, there wasn't, to my knowledge, still isn't anything really like this.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like in the SEO world, what Mariah was told over and over again is the way that you grow or scale is hire, build an agency.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: You're now an SEO agency, and companies are hiring you monthly on retainer, and you're doing a start-to-finish all SEO for them.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the way to grow as an SEO company.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like that was the path that we saw.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: And Mariah was like, I don't want to do that path.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I see this other path, but it's never been walked before, and I'm not sure that it's possible.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: And how cool is it now?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: The other thing that she was saying along this time was, I really want to speak on panels.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: I want to speak in front of people.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: I want to host workshops and educate.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: And like, what have you been doing all year long?
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: You're popping up here, you're popping up there, you're hosting Women's Day.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, it's cool to see things that you didn't think were possible.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: And like you were just felt like at the time your workload was heavily one-on-one client work, and you really wanted to get away from that one-on-one client work and build something that allowed you to the way that you help people can be done, like you're saying, on this like more educational level where people can kind of be empowered themselves.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: You're literally teaching people how to fish instead of handing them a fish, is kind of the idea.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: And you weren't sure that it was going to work, and there literally was nothing like it out there.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so cool.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like you just literally took an idea out of the ether and have now brought it to life, and it is paying your bills.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and you from my perspective, I feel like you are just blowing up, like you're uh interviewing on podcasts every morning, speaking on panels here, getting asked to go over here.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: So it it feels cool to see like all of these things you have been pulling from thin air come to fruition.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's so funny because it's like my day-to-day life has not changed.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm like literally recording this in my favorite pajama shirt, and I'm like hanging out with you, like recording a podcast episode.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go and like hang out with my nieces.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like it's like not like my life has changed.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like when you're even reflecting that back to me, I go, oh yeah, like I did do that.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh yeah, I have been thinking about these things.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: And like literally, I have been wanting to be on stage and be a speaker.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think personally that I am prepared enough to be a keynote speaker yet.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: But that's it's coming.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: And like my big dream is to host a business conference in Buffalo.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like everything here, oh my God, is so fucking corporate and so stuffy.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's why, to be honest, I do more speaking in Canada than I do in Buffalo.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was on a panel for International Women's Day in Canada, and that was incredible.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was so much fun.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was cool because that event was hosted by a small business, and there was like people showing up with different perspectives.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so International Women's Day events were happening all over the country on the same day.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so the one that was happening in Buffalo, girl, I saw photos after, and like the host was not a small business owner, like whatever.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: The host was like the host of the news.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, blah, dude.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like it felt so stuffy.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like I roll up to these things, and like half the time I'm rolling up to shit with like ripped jeans and a hoodie, and I'm like, what up, dog?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hey, what's up?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: And like these people in Buffalo just feel like you have to like be in this box in order to like be successful.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, yuck.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, everything that I love about what my friends are doing in Canada and the events that they are hosting, like, I want to bring that to Buffalo because I know that there's people that are really craving that support without being suffocated over like the little nuances that just feel too heavy.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, speaking has been incredible.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: The YouTube channel is growing really well.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm having brands reach out to me that like were on my dream sponsor list, and then I send them a price and they're saying yes instantly.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: When two years ago I was pitching brands at a lower price and nobody would bite.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: And now they're literally coming to me and being like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll pay that.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Can you actually like publish that sooner?
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, that's okay.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: It just it feels so wild.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't even think that my YouTube channel is like that big.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm about to hit 25,000 subscribers, which is incredible.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm like, I want to hit a hundred thousand.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't it funny how the brain does that?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, but I'm only one fourth in the way there.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, yeah, but like four years ago, I was at like three thousand.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: One thousand.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: I literally wrote down like two seconds ago the title of this episode should be something about like dreaming bigger.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think that is like where you and I are both at of like, we kind of reached like what we set out, we initially set out to do and intended to do, like, pay our bills by making money online.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then we're in this like space of like, all right, what's next?
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what what is here for us?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: And you and I have this similarity of like, and I'm not gonna work my ass off, right?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, I don't want to be busy.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't want to run an agency and manage a hundred people and not have any free time and loved ones, you know, like that's not the path for us.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, what does dreaming bigger look like for us?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's been difficult.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this, I think, has been what you and I are both wrestling with this entire time of like, can I build this in my way, in a way that works for me?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's not literal more hours.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: And it's cool to it.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's also one thing I'm reflecting back here is one big theme that's come out of this season is uh see literal seasonality, where we've talked a lot about how there's different chapters and phases in life and business and how things take time.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like we're sitting here telling you six years we've been talking about this, thinking about it, brainstorming about it.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: And yes, it's really easy to see.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm just following this girl online right now.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: She did this thing called the Yap Challenge.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure if y'all are familiar with it, but there's a girl, she made an account on Instagram just talking.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then people were like, hey girl, you're really good at talking.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: Will you make a course about how to talk?
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: So she made a yap challenge and launched it within I think like three months of launching this Instagram account, something ridiculous.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah, guess how much money she made off this yap challenge?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: I I know the answer.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you oh yeah, girl?
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was I went to like a whole and I was like, Oh yeah, oh yeah.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't know if you were in this world or not.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: This girl made, I told Bobby this, and he was like,$100,000.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, no, Bobby, times 10 and more.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: She made$1.2 million, I think.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: And she is and the challenge was$297 and Casey want to do the math.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so she had four thousand.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: I went down the rabbit hole, bro.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't I ignore this.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that's about you.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And she got four thousand people to join, and she started her Instagram six months ago.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Six months, thank you.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: So super and she started it just like talking about I'm doing this house project this weekend.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you about it.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like nothing in particular, just cringe mountain.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: Cringe mountain.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: This bitch climbed cringe mountain, and like she is up there just saying, Hey guys, I'm up here.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I follow this other girl.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: She's I've heard her name Slow Slimmer, Slow Simmer.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: She's a chef.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: She did just start her account like at the beginning of this year, and she's losing weight.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: She's a chef who's losing weight.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: So she is Mariah and I are both foodies.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: She is sharing like high quality restaurant style meals that are like healthy and protein and fiber focused.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: Her account, boom, blowing up.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: Now all of a sudden she's building a new house and X, Y, and Z.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's really we talk a lot this season about AI and being an online business owner and how it's changed so much.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like during the COVID times, a lot of us had this boom, and then there's been a bit of a lull, and and AI's coming in, and everyone's like, is there any future for us here?
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: And and to me, it just seems like it's just starting.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like we're seeing all of these hyper niche accounts blow up in a couple months' time.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: So I know that we're talking six years.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's people craving community of like-minded people.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: Agree.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: And you brought that up earlier, just like your conferences, there's just this deep desire of community.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so I am feeling like literally the richest people I know, just to be frank, are content creators.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like they're making internet money somehow.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: I really do believe, and I've been saying this since I graduated, like, this is the future economy.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is there, no ship has sailed.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: It is not too saturated.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: Literally, right now, someone's starting an in an Instagram in three to six months, they're gonna be making a million dollars off of it.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that is like this is our gold rush.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is where the opportunity is of our generation.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: So, as you guys know, I've really been wrestling with like, I have to make content.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_02: I need to make content.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: I want to be more visible.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that is my cringe mountain that I'm climbing.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I have shot now.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, we can dive into more what the content is about in a second, but I've shot my first three YouTube videos.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, you did?
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't know that.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: I have.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: I've been shooting some short form.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm having a lot of fun with the short form.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I'll tell you what's been rattling around in my head is some advice Mariah gave me.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I haven't asked her this yet, so I'm saving it live for on the air.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: She told me when I was starting to record, just talk like you're talking to me, just talk like you're talking to a friend.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I do think that's right.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, Yap Challenge Girl will tell you like, don't say, hey guys, like, talk like you're talking to one person.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I agree, like when I'm talking with Mariah, I can be a bit more casual and fun.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: But when I'm shooting these YouTube videos, you guys, I'm telling myself, okay, talk like I'm talking to Mariah, talk like I'm talking to Mariah.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then the second I hear that camera go on, I'm like, and welcome back to my YouTube video.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_02: I sound so scripted, I sound so stiff.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_02: And one thing I was reflecting about with my husband this morning is I was sharing with him excitedly.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_02: We had just so to pull the curtain back, I my side hustle has always been I like finding going to yard sales and thrift stores and flipping things online.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_02: And we're actually really generating a lot of money.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like all guys, Shay is not just like buying socks and selling them.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I'm selling it.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: Unless they're like per hundred dollars.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, unless they're like Gucci socks and like she's selling them for like a couple hundo, but like this is not just like your small flip type stuff.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, Shay has this gift, and and me and Andrew have tried this.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: We have tried.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: He started an eBay, we were thrift shopping and doing and garage sales.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: It is so fucking hard to know what you are looking for and know that it is worth it.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: And every time Shay tells me what she finds, I'm literally like, this is a zone of genius for you.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is a gift.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: It truly is.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: I I mean, I was raised by like antique dealers, so I grew up in this world.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_02: I know it well.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's been kind of hard for me to accept this about myself because I'm literally like digging through trash.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_02: You're a trashy girl, Shay.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's just out of my life, is high-ticket sales, and that has been that's given me awesome stability, but it doesn't take up all my time.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: You guys, I have been relentless about lifestyle design, and I've got myself in a really sweet situation where like my sales job does not take up a ton of time, and now I have all this free time.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I've really leaned into my hobby, and I actually stole this from Mariah.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: She went to some event and said, asked me how I pay my rent on YouTube.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then I said to Bobby, I was like, we pay all of our bills by selling other people's trash.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like, isn't that cool?
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so we've gotten anyway, we've gotten to this point where we're like, I can't deny this.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm obsessed with this.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_02: I've been doing it my whole life.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's all I think about, and I'm like a little embarrassed about it, but like, this is it.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is the thing that I have been looking for that I'm interested in that I want to talk about.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: And so, anywho, I was in the car with Bobby this morning and I was like, and I found these original Honda CRV floor mats, and they're brand new and they're tan, and there's no other tan ones online.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I think we can sell them for like$200.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I was just enthusiastically telling him about these floor mats, and he was like, This, this is how you should be talking on the YouTube video.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: But girl, once he turns this camera on me, I'm like, and then I've I found some floor mats.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_02: So, my question for you, long story short, yeah, easier said than done.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I have heard the prompt.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_02: Talk like you're talking to your friend.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and I get it.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: I literally can show you examples of when I'm excitedly talking to Bobby casually, and then when he turns the camera on, I'm reading off a script that doesn't even exist.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me, like, how did you do that?
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how is it not easier said than done?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how did you actually get better at being more casual with the camera?
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, doing it.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: I started my YouTube channel in 2017, girl.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you remember when we first started this podcast?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't record an episode without having full bullet points and scripts and notes, and that was only what five years ago, right?
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, it's literally just doing it, and then I think there is something.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, I did create a script for a while, and I I have strengthened this muscle of being able to read a script without making it sound like I'm reading a script.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: And the secret to that is like inflection.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: Pick a word and inflect it.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know if that's the right way to say the fucking word, but it's like, and just like pick a word to pause, pick a word to bring up, pick a word to bring down.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: But you have to be able to do it in the moment, like when you're actually reading it.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you get it wrong.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you inflect the word, and then you're like, Oh, I didn't see that period, and now the fucking sentence ends, and now I sound like a dweeb.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: But you're just like, okay, so that's fine.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: But like sometimes even now, I go to record a YouTube video and I instantly start sweating.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: I go, what what are you sweating?
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody's here.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody has to see this.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: I used to get so embarrassed if like Andrew was walking by and he could hear me recording.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: I used to get so embarrassed, so embarrassed.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I was like, please do not listen to me.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember when we first started dating, he found out that I had a YouTube channel, and I think I had like 1200 subscribers or something like that.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: And like he was trying to be flirty and be cute, and like he sent me a photo of like him watching my YouTube videos like at his apartment, and he was like, Oh, I'm like watching this cute girl on YouTube.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Are you watching it alone or with all your friends?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: If you're fucking showing all of your friends that I swear to God, I'm never seeing you again and we're not going on another game, turn it off immediately.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I need you to like and subscribe.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: But it's it's like But tell them all the likes together.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I literally was like, send it to all of your friends and family.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: They cannot watch it, but they need to like and subscribe.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but like even now, like I taught a workshop two days ago, right before it, I got my because I hired my VA.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: This was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: I hired my VA to like be support during the workshop.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: So she was letting people in and out of the room, she was muting people, she was like the not the host, but like the assistant.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: Girl, it went so fucking good.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: But before she was like, Are you ready?
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we're gonna start letting people in.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yeah.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Then I start seeing people come in and I go, Oh, I start talking, I'm talking too quick, I hear myself talking too quick.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: And what happens is I get like, I call them like throat bubbles.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: I get like throat bubbles where I'm literally and then I'm trying to take a sip of water, which is just making my throat bubble worse, and then I'm just like getting nervous about these throat bubbles, and then I'm like, I don't even know what the hell I'm talking about, like that type of thing.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: So, like it gets better.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: I do think a really good skill to start with is being able to read a script without making it sound like you're reading a script because once you do that, you can start to do that without the script.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that is really helpful.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: What also is helpful for YouTube is like I have the same introduction and the same outro, I can say them in my sleep.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so for that, I already know my same stupid fucking hand motions.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like in blah blah blah blah blah, and I'm doing the same thing over and over again, and like that feels so good.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: Once I get to the end of the video, I was like a piece of cake now, and then I keep reminding myself who gives a fuck?
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_01: Not every piece of content has to be my best piece of content, and that's really helpful too.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's so good.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_02: That letting go of the perfection.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_02: The other thing that I you kind of brought up earlier, and I think there's something to this I am going to experiment around with like letting myself have like almost an alternate personality.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_02: If you guys know Beyonce, the Sasha Fierce idea.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_02: I follow, and she's controversial online, but there's this young sales girl named Shelby Sapp.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_02: She's huge, she makes so much money, and she'll talk about when people meet her in real life, they're like, Oh, you're not, you're pretty chill, you're not what I was expecting.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: Whether or not that's true, I have no idea.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_02: But she says she intentionally kind of adopts this higher energy, more showy diva version of herself.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you think about it, like this is entertainment, it's show, people are consuming it.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_02: And and I am a bit more of a chill person, just like in life.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_02: And then something where I reflected back to me is like, Shay, just kind of turn the volume up.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what my my husband said too.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, be a little bit, I just need to kind of be a different person and not in a bad way, but like kind of embody this version of myself.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's not a different person, it's just like a version of myself that is a bit more show mini, you know, like jazz hands and excited and and a little silly and making stupid dad jokes.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: And and I have that version of me.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that if if I can go into a video more of like, I need to think of a fun name, like Lola.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_02: Lola is showing up for this video, you know.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_02: I think that will help me separate a little bit more from the cringe.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, and also it's like, I know how you grew up and like being in the Midwest.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: And like it was also very like, don't be the tallest sun.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what your phrase, don't be the tallest sunflower because I'll cut you down.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like we get your head cut off, something along those lines.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, well, that's how I was reflecting back to Bobby.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, I am literally, I'm like, why has this been so hard for me, guys?
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_02: I have a fever blister right now, I've been stressed out about it.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, literally, every single obstacle is popping up.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, why?
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, you're facing your fucking biggest fear.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like your whole life, it's been scary to be loud and visible and have a lot of personality, you know?
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, of course, and of course, you're gonna be a little stiff.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: And you're sharing it to millions and billions of people.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: I also think that there's a piece here that like human evolution has not caught up to the internet.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: Our brains are not in a space where we can hold the Bigness of being in front of millions of people.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's so true.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: We're just we're not there and we're not gonna be there for another 300 years.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like evolution takes time.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, of course, it's horrifying.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_02: You're right.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_02: I keep seeing those stats.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like, our brains are really meant to have like a hundred relationships or interactions.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if you think about like an old community, you know, like that was about all the people you knew.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: But then people roll their eyes when they only get a hundred views on a reel.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because like it's not enough.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's not enough people, but it's like actually a hundred people is a fuck ton of people.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was probably all the people you knew in a previous life, right?
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: That would be my hell.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody that I've ever met, like in one room, and like I have to like record a YouTube video in front of like that would be fucking hell.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_02: There's a bit of freedom I have found because I have a follow me.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the smarter reseller on all the channels, but I have found there's a bit of freedom to like, I don't have any following on YouTube.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, these are strangers, so there is a bit of like I don't give a fuck about what these strangers think.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: Whereas when I'm sharing something on my Instagram, which people I do know and respect, like Jordan Gill watched one of my stories, and I was like, ah, you're like, oh god, did I did I say everything right?
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, like don't judge me.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's it's interesting how like I it's helping me detach a little bit to start on YouTube because I just feel like there's less at stake for some reason, which is silly, but I've just been trying to like make this as literally easy for me as possible.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_02: It in acknowledgement of like it may seem silly for some people, like some people like that yap challenge girl, she just is so comfortable and just I'm sure she worked to get there, but like this is a big thing for me.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm like, how can I make this as stupid simple as possible?
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because, like I told you guys at the beginning, there's no other path for me but up cringe mountain.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I am fully accepted and surrendered to that.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like, this is it.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how do I do this?
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I love what you're saying.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's in the repetition and it's in the detachment.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_02: They don't have to take it also personally, right?
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's not a reflection on me and who I am as a human, which is easier said than done.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_02: But if you guys listen to the intro of this episode in this whole season, we actually just right before this shot that three times.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Ryan was like, let's do it again, let's do it again.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_02: And on the third time, I was like, tweety doen again, I don't know.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_02: But on that third time, I was doing exactly what she said.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like I felt comfortable with I knew what the sentences were, I knew how the flow was.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_02: And then I started to take a pause.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_02: So, and then I kind of like entrusting the nudge, and I was playing with my words and inflecting or going down, or pausing is really powerful, and speaking slower is really powerful.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's something you'll learn in sales.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_02: But it's interesting.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm seeing what you're saying, and it's in the reps, it's in the doing it over and over and over again.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I have this idea of like, oh, I can't release these first few videos because I'm so stiff and not perfect.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_02: But I think that like that's it, that's the path, that's cringe mountain, baby.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_02: There's no other way than that.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you for saying that.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: Another thing that I heard, I don't do this, but I there are a shit ton of people that do do it.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: They literally print out a photo of their friend and put it right where the microphone is or right where the camera lens is.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: So when you're looking at the mic and you're making eye contact with it, you're actually looking at your friend.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: And like go ahead.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's just something that like can help settle that like animalistic nervous visibility feeling a little bit.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, there's something to that because I was I've noticed if I've shot videos before where it's just me talking to I'm like in Zoom and I have me to look back on, like I can see myself, and that's so much easier.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_02: If I can see myself, I can kind of like I don't know what it is, it's like orienting me or something.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_02: And the camera that we're using, there's no playback way for me to see easily.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_02: I would hate that.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I would I was telling Bobby, I was like, it just it's a lot easier for me to sit down on my computer and I can see myself and I can kind of like just loosen up.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_02: But when it's nothing, like no feedback, and I'm just like talking to a room, it that that to me has been the most difficult.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I like what you're saying.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe somehow I could like get a photo, even though Bobby's there, I don't know what my problem is, but like I getting a photo, I think would help.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: I it's like having something different.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_02: I think the playback disorienting or something.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_01: The playback would be helpful because if I did what you're doing, I would feel like I was like on stage and like dance monkey.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_02: It does screw me.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, and then I get so stiff, and and it's like I can tell that I'm being stiff, and I'm like, don't be stiff, but then I would get stiff, but then it's just even worse.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the good news is that you absolutely have to post those videos because, girl, we don't even want to see my first videos.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_01: My first videos, my first one actually, did not have my face in it because I was absolutely horrified to show my face.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: So my first YouTube video got 10,000 views, which is insane.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: That is insane.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: Insane.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was showing you how to add social media icons to the header of your WordPress website.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wouldn't even show my face.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: The next one, oh my, I was addicted to the tanning bed, and I was orange girl.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, was I so orange, and I was like not confident.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: I hear my own voice, and I'm very grateful for that previous version of me.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_01: She was what, 23 years old?
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: God bless her.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: She was still living at her parents' house.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_01: Behind her was a black curtain, the mysterious black curtain in my early YouTube videos.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was my craft closet with my sewing machine and some fucking felt back there, and like my parents were downstairs, like watching prices right.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what I mean?
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like fuck yes.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: You have if you don't cringe at your beginning shit, you were too prepared and you should have started earlier.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, even this podcast, I will not go back and listen to this.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely not.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_02: You can't pay me.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm proud of us for doing them.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'm glad they're out.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_02: That was a good reminder of like, it's just gotta start somewhere.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_02: And like, even if it's cringe, I've really been what's helping me is like, how can I have fun with this?
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so here's I really am enjoying the short form content.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_02: And we, I was at the gym the other day, and we made three sales at the gym, literally for like$700.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_02: It was like I made an insane amount of money while we were at the gym.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like joking with Bobby.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, everyone talks about earning money while you sleep, but what about earning money when you sweat?
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh, that's a fun little reel.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so that is a joy.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, holy shit, could all of this feel like a joy?
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how could I be fun, have play, be silly?
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like that to me is the green flag, which is an awesome transition.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_02: So, in our original first episode that we shot for you guys, Mariah and I kind of came up with this metaphor of some less, it's kind of, I don't know if I'd call it a lesson.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, one thing we talk a lot about on the podcast is how to make this all sustainable.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how do we run these businesses and have these lives that we want in a way that is sustainable?
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what does the long term look like?
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_02: How do we do this day to day for our whole lives?
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_02: And we came up with this like metaphor about green flags, yellow lights, red lights.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_02: And as being like a tool you can use as you're navigating the day-to-day of am I headed in the right direction?
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_02: Am I headed in the wrong direction?
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so what I've told you guys recently, anytime I have taken a step up cringe mountain, it's weird, it's almost eerie.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like energized.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_02: I wake up the next when I do something that's on my hard list, like towards getting this smarter reseller content going, I wake up the next day like energized.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: I have like an insane amount of clarity, I'm excited.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then if I'm avoiding it and I'm not taking the steps, it's the exact opposite.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_02: I am just dragging, I'm heavy, I'm unclear, I'm having negative voice, you're not, you know, you're not moving fast enough.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_02: And so I, to me, what that tells me is when I am doing things I am avoiding, doing hard things, the climbing cringe mountain, that is a green light.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_02: I need to run.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like my body is literally reacting to that and telling me, hey, Shay, this is it.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm giving you energy.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_02: You're tapped in, you know, like you're kind of like feeding off source.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then when I'm not doing my things, my body is sending me a message.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so this idea of following green lights or green flags, and then the opposite is true when you are noticing kind of the beginnings of your downward spiral.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_02: Can you pause?
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_02: Can you give yourself some space?
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_02: If I'm noticing that negative voice is too loud, if I'm noticing I'm feeling like kind of a lot of brain fog, I'm really low energy, I'm feeling kind of aimless.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_02: That to me is a yellow flag that something is awry.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not pointed in the right direction.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe it is time to take a pause, take a breath, reevaluate.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so this idea, if you guys listen to the rest of the season, you'll kind of hear Mariah and I, oh, that's a green flag, a green light, or that was a yellow flag or yellow light.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it's weird.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_02: We just it didn't come from anywhere.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_02: It just came out in that episode and we kind of riffed on it for a while.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_02: But I have really been using it in my daily life since then.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like Mariah brought up an example.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_02: She really likes to, in that season, likes to cook dinner.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_02: And if she's not having time to like cook dinner, it'd like really take her time with it, be relaxed with it.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_02: Something is awry.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_02: Her schedule is that's a yellow flag, baby.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's a yellow flag.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm getting stressed out, making a healthy dinner that I'm excited to create because I love saving recipes, being able to test things.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a per like, I have a recipe book that I started putting stuff in where it's like my favorites type thing, but I really just like messing around with new stuff based on what I'm craving, based on what's in season.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like if I'm just trying to rush through dinner, I gotta go, go, go.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: I got more work to do after dinner, I gotta do this.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking about that.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, fuck, I'm dropping the ball over here, I'm dropping the ball.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_01: Whoa, girl, you like cooking dinner.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: You enjoy the slowdown so much so that my husband is literally like, why don't you turn on some music and really just like enjoy yourself?
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_01: I go, no, no, no, no, no.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: The juice is the silence, my love.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't want the fan on.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want you yapping to me.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, go away and let me cook dinner in my own little bubble in my own little space.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it is just so enjoyable to me.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_01: But if I'm just like zipping through it, it's like, hey, girl, we gotta something we can't keep doing this.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's basically like I can get away with zipping through dinner one day.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, shit happens where it's like I have a podcast interview at four to five, and then I gotta go over and like my niece is graduating high school.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta be there by 5 30.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't really have a lot of time.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, great.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: But if it's going on like two and three days where I'm zipping through dinner, that's really a sign of like I'm either adding more things to my plate than I should be, or I'm putting more pressure on myself than I should be, which can happen quite often.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm really grateful for my husband because he's the one that like reminds me of that.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_01: He's the one that's like, hey, you said that you didn't want to be busy, or you said that you wanted a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_01: And now you're busy girl right now.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_01: And now you can't handle anything.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_01: And another yellow flag that I realized is when I'm getting stressed out, or like when I feel like I don't have enough space for myself, I get very nitpicky with him.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'll walk in the house and I'll be like, This fucking house is a mess.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_01: When was the last time you took the tread?
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm pointing fingers, pointing fingers.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: What are you doing?
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then the other day he was like, he's looking in the backyard and he goes, Well, I'm the only one that cleans up back here.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, and I was like, Oh, what am I doing here?
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because here's the thing, Andrew, you know, we were trying to do the sourdough business.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_01: We were trying to do the eBay thing.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like he was trying to make entrepreneurship work in a way that felt really good for him for three and a half years because we were moving around, but then he decided he was running a business aim for me, girl.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go get a job and get us some health insurance.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so he started working at a job outside of the home for the first time in three and a half years.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, well, he's not the one that can carry all of the household load anymore.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's not his job anymore.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now he also has a job like I have a job.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like I kind of have to call myself out where it's like, well, now you need time to like do things around the house, like that type of thing.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so those are like my two yellow flags.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really like getting super nitpicky with Andrew and like not enjoying cooking.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love those.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_02: And like, not to copy you, but I do feel like mine come back to food and being bitchy with my husband or my loved ones.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's definitely two good um reflection points.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_02: I think like the reason that we're interested in this idea is I have found that we're talking about this pendulum swinging and into burnout all the time.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I'm like, how do we not go to burnout?
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_02: How do we not get to this place where we hate everything and everything feels like a chore?
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's by being aware, A, of what your dream day or dream life is, and then B, what is not aligning with that right now?
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so for me, I actually I had to think back when I had when I was 23 and I had my in the box job.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_02: One thing I really hated was food.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like I had to have a quick breakfast because I was typically always late.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_02: I had to prep my lunch and have something just like shitty or go out because it I it just you didn't have adult options, you didn't have a kitchen at work.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_02: And then you got home from work and you're tired and you didn't want to make a dinner.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I would long, I was like, if I just had a job where I could work from home, I would just nourish myself.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_02: I would have three like really healthy meals and but forward 10 years, and we're like over here, like we got taco bow on the way home or what, girl?
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_02: Your dash, door dash, door dash.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that was such a dream for me.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_02: To and then now here I'm like, Shay, you don't even, you're not even grateful.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_02: You're not even every day, you should be on your knees thinking the Lord that you could just sit here and make eggs and sausage for yourself and you have time, and your lunch is not some gross salad that you had to grab.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_02: And and I was always snacking when I was in a cube because I think it was like I just wanted dopamine rushes, so I was eating chips and crap all the time, and I just longed for the space to like really nourish myself, and now I have it, and how easy it is to forget.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I was just totally taking that for granted, and like we I had forgot the joy of it.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_02: That that's another thing that like I keep coming back to is like I'm with you, I'm in silence, and Bobby's always like, Why is there no music on?
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like sheer, just joy to me.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I'm like a witch or something.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, have all these ingredients like quiet, what a gift, and I get to just be in my world and like concoct this masterpiece and like be creative.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what a fucking gift.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's such a joy, and so I think like one thing that is a green flag for me is when I am really appreciating those simple moments, those really lovely things about life that it's really easy to just like run through.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_02: And in I can get to this point, my biggest red flag is I just feel like um there's one thing after the next thing after the next thing after the next thing, and it all feels like a drag.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_02: It is such a chore.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_02: Even things that are supposed to be fun, like going to my niece's graduation, feels like a chore.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_02: I want that to feel like a chore, logically, but it's just like when things start to just uh uh like the the droning on of life.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_02: That is just a checklist.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's just a checklist.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's a checklist.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_02: That is a really good point for me of like, hey, we could be having fun right now, sure.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_02: That is a it could be, and we are choosing.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_02: I had I was I went to this event the other night where we all shared a story and like shared a lesson that we learned.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_02: And this older lady said, like, I decide whether it's heaven or hell, and I thought that was so good.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, literally at every single moment, I decide.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_02: I am the one that decides am I and not of course there's gonna be pain and heavy things in life, but in general, I could pretty much decide all the time, like, hey, let's have fun.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, why are we here right now?
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is a joy to be here with my friend talking about things I want to talk about, to put it on the internet to get paid.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so reconnecting, I think what what I've noticed about like the yellow flag's idea is it's not a time to like beat yourself up and oh, things are going wrong and let's burn it down.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_02: All it is is a time to like get quiet and sit with yourself and reconnect with like what is important for you and what is popping up for you right now.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_02: What being honest about the emotions that are here and kind of honoring them and working through them.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_02: But at the end of the day, we get to decide, and I think that's really liberating.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_02: But man, is it really easy just to like get caught up in like the day to day of everything?
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_01: So easy.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know what's funny is um Andrew always says, and he he believes in God.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_01: So he says, This is his proof of God, is that like you can't bottle it up.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like this, like like he remembers when it's like you know, a Sunday night and you have work tomorrow and you're dreading it so much, you got the Sunday scaries.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, I can't bottle that up.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, like, I want to bottle that up to remind myself.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like before he got this job in January, he was like, I want to bottle it up to make me realize how great it is that I can wake up and enjoy every single day and try to start a business with my wife.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, but I don't remember the pain that came with Sunday night scaries.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then he was saying, he was like, I wish that, like, you know, when you're working, because that's why he basically was in burnout.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like he was working at a factory for years and he was mandatory overtime.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_01: He was working 21 days without a day off.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like this man, they worked him to the bone.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_01: They weren't allowed to have fans in there when like equipment was like a thousand degrees.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_01: It was, it was absolutely awful.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why he it literally took him, I'm not kidding, three years to get over the burnout that that job created.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, I wish I could have bottled that up.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I could have bottled up so that I can just feel this other side of just like what a gift.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, but it just becomes normal.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, and even now it's funny, he was like, I wish I could have bottled up the joy of having all of that free time.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, Because now I have weekends now.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, but I had it so good before, but it didn't feel good when I had it all the time.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, that's why he said it's just like his proof of God, because it's like everything shifts and you adapt so much that you forget all of these feelings and like how you were feeling in order to like make things mean even more.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I just love that you're just thinking about it.
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like in the moment of like, how do I bottle this up?
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_01: Or at least, like, how do I just like take a second and like put a pin in this and just like, hey, remember when?
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_01: And like they always say that we remember the past way better than it was.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's because we can't bottle this stuff up and like bring that feeling with us.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, oh, that's why I don't talk to my father anymore because he's a fucking asshole.
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_01: And like I bottled up like how angry he made, like that type of thing.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're like, oh, maybe I should reach out to my dad.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like, no, girl, take a breath.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that it's just I think that it's such an interesting part of humanity and like how we continue to adapt and like we're so moldable, and I think that that's the hard thing is like, and and why goals are so important, but not like the stuffy limiting goals, but like that North Star type thing where it's like we need some kind of direction because we are so adaptable that it's like we can blow with the wind if we're not careful.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, a couple of things that were like striking me while you were talking about that is like we've brought up this idea that like our brains are like mamble brains, they're just so not set up for this world.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_02: And not that there's anything really to be done about that, but I think there's some acknowledgement there of like in that situation, life is moving pretty fast.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_02: I would probably say that we're busier now than we've ever been.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_02: We're have more inputs than we've ever had.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, everyone has five jobs, everyone is doing everything all the time.
• 1:05:19
  SPEAKER_02: We're so stimulated.
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_02: We are so stimulated, and our brains just move on from one thing to the next.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_02: And how easy is it to forget, you know, back when I was 23 and I was having back pain and I was mad because I had to have a nasty salad for lunch, right?
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's so easy.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_02: I think our brains really struggle to like hold on to that because when you move on, you your brain switches to, okay, what are my new threats?
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_02: How am I surviving?
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_02: And we totally lose that.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think there's a bit of like, it's really a forced thing of gratitude, of journaling, of giving space in your schedule to reflect and grow and kind of learn things, right?
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because the brain is not just like it's really easy to hold on to negative compliments.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_02: Negative feedback and let compliments slide off.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like the brain just isn't really primed to remember that.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it's kind of fucking annoying.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's really annoying.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, what do you mean?
• 1:06:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it feels annoying sometimes when you feel like you're in the same situation over and over again.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, I thought that I learned my lesson.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that I learned my lesson.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that I learned my lesson.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_01: But I think if you take a moment to reflect and take a moment to be honest with yourself, we're strengthening these muscles that we pay attention to consistently.
• 1:06:29
  SPEAKER_01: So, like yesterday, I have committed myself to moving my body more.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_01: I've made this commitment to myself four times a week.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_01: I ended up hiring, I don't know.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_01: I was joking around with her because like I don't know what the fuck she is, but I call her movement girl.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I hire a movement girl that I found on Instagram, and I love her so much because she weaves in nervous system regulation, pelvic floor, strength, and like she was a dancer.
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_01: So like flexibility and like the way that she moves and the way that she trains is so nourishing.
• 1:07:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like she's also balancing the left and the right side of the brain.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like she just brings in all of these things, and I love it.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I loved it.
• 1:07:10
  SPEAKER_01: I hired her.
• 1:07:11
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yes, take my money, girl, whatever you want.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_01: I have been dreading these fucking workouts.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_01: They are not even intense.
• 1:07:19
  SPEAKER_01: Shay, half of them are fucking breathing.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_01: She's literally like, Well, you're like, you're not breathing into your rib cage like well.
• 1:07:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're not.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I don't even know what that means.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, she's blowing my mind.
• 1:07:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what do you mean?
• 1:07:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, well, just give me like some fucking leg workouts.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, you're not breathing well.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_01: Everything comes back to the breath.
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_01: Your body cannot be balanced if you are not even bringing oxygen into your body in a way that like it was designed to do.
• 1:07:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so half of my stuff is breathing.
• 1:07:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like refusing to do it.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm texting this girl.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_01: I go, yo, my inner teenager, she loud.
• 1:07:57
  SPEAKER_01: She's mad at you.
• 1:07:58
  SPEAKER_01: She's mad at this.
• 1:07:59
  SPEAKER_01: Why did I sign up for this?
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this is fucking stupid.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_01: They're not even hard.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's all body weight.
• 1:08:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally like, and it's the same two workouts.
• 1:08:09
  SPEAKER_01: I just have to repeat twice a week.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sitting here and go, I have to watch videos.
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_01: I have to watch videos about how to do it.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so annoyed.
• 1:08:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so yesterday, because we have a puppy, which is something that changed since the previous season, little Freddie, seven months old, little honey bear.
• 1:08:26
  SPEAKER_01: He is obsessed with me, literally would crawl into my fucking skin if I let him.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm like, okay, well, I can't be so worried about this dog.
• 1:08:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if he's having a joyful life every day that I keep putting off my workout because that was always my excuse.
• 1:08:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Freddie's got to go outside and play.
• 1:08:41
  SPEAKER_01: He's been here.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_01: I only took him outside once.
• 1:08:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, most people work eight hours a day.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_01: Freddie is living his best life.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_01: But I was just using it as this excuse to like feed this like hell that I'm creating, like the girl, like heaven or hell.
• 1:08:54
  SPEAKER_01: What are you creating?
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_01: I was creating my own hell.
• 1:08:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, you know what?
• 1:08:57
  SPEAKER_01: All of my movement stuff is upstairs in the upstairs bedroom.
• 1:09:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it's fucking hot.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_01: We need a new roof on this house.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_01: My landlord has not gotten it.
• 1:09:03
  SPEAKER_01: We are, I am sweating right now profusely, speaking into this microphone.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_01: It is hot up here.
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, well, I'm not working out up there.
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not doing it.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, so what are you gonna do?
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, well, I'll bring it downstairs.
• 1:09:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm bringing it downstairs.
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm unrolling this yoga mat onto the floor.
• 1:09:20
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a new thing.
• 1:09:21
  SPEAKER_01: Freddie the puppy has never seen a fucking yoga mat in the living room before.
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_01: So he's having a field day.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_01: He's sniffing everything.
• 1:09:26
  SPEAKER_01: He's jumping on me.
• 1:09:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yada yada.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I was so mad.
• 1:09:29
  SPEAKER_01: Why do we get this dog?
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_01: What a fucking pain in my ass.
• 1:09:32
  SPEAKER_01: This thing sucks.
• 1:09:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm just Andrew's so lucky that he's at work.
• 1:09:36
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't have to deal with this.
• 1:09:37
  SPEAKER_01: He can do whatever he wants.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, whoa, girl.
• 1:09:42
  SPEAKER_01: What a gift.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_01: You can move your body.
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_01: You can have the money to pay movement, girl, to teach you how to breathe.
• 1:09:57
  SPEAKER_01: You have a puppy that is so obsessed with you and loves you so much, and you get to show him the world through your eyes instead of him.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Who knows what would have happened to him?
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_01: We rescued him.
• 1:10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Who knows?
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_01: What a gift that I have space in my home to unravel a yoga mat in my living room and move.
• 1:10:22
  SPEAKER_01: I have all of the equipment that I need.
• 1:10:25
  SPEAKER_02: In the middle of the day, while everyone you know is sitting in a cube.
• 1:10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what a gift.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_01: So then I'm doing these workouts and I notice myself.
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, all right, what if Freddie was just part of it?
• 1:10:38
  SPEAKER_01: What if he was just part of it?
• 1:10:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I start taking funny photos.
• 1:10:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sending them to Andrew.
• 1:10:42
  SPEAKER_01: I go, this dude won't leave me alone.
• 1:10:44
  SPEAKER_01: And like he just looks so cute with his face on the yoga mat.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, what if this is like part of the joy?
• 1:10:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm doing the movements and he's trying to crawl under me.
• 1:10:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I just start laughing.
• 1:10:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, you're just being so silly.
• 1:10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Everything changed.
• 1:10:57
  SPEAKER_01: It turned into like the best movement session that I've had so far.
• 1:11:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, whole, it was just that reminder.
• 1:11:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I know this over and over.
• 1:11:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's your mindset.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's your mindset.
• 1:11:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's your mindset.
• 1:11:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like, I know this.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_01: But holy shit, when you actually notice it in the moment, I was so proud of myself to just be like, you didn't keep going through the whole session, hating everything and creating hell.
• 1:11:21
  SPEAKER_01: You literally stopped in the beginning and were like, wait a minute, we have way more control than we are giving ourselves right here.
• 1:11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just such a good reminder of like that happens to us over and over and over again.
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember who said it.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably everybody.
• 1:11:34
  SPEAKER_01: But it's basically just like we were, we forget and then we remember.
• 1:11:38
  SPEAKER_01: We forget and then we remember.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's part of being human.
• 1:11:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like just remembering that, like, remembering that you have the power to remember and that we actually have decision-making capabilities in a lot of situations.
• 1:11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Not all of them, but in a lot of them.
• 1:11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_02: And there's no shame in the remembering.
• 1:11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I'll get into the like, I've already learned this freaking lesson a million times.
• 1:12:02
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like, that's not true.
• 1:12:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a different face of it, right?
• 1:12:05
  SPEAKER_02: And that's life.
• 1:12:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's all it's ever going to be.
• 1:12:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's not going to be any different.
• 1:12:09
  SPEAKER_02: And movement, honestly, I that's my biggest yellow or red flag is if I am having pain in my body, my I used to be very resentful of my sensitive ass body.
• 1:12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like I am like allergies to everything, hurting myself all the time, not an athlete, like sensitive, can't wear certain clothes, can't have certain laundry detergent.
• 1:12:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like my whole life, I've been so sensitive and easily stimulated.
• 1:12:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I used to be really resentful of that because it's a lot.
• 1:12:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's annoying.
• 1:12:40
  SPEAKER_02: And even in my first job, I had like horrible back pain.
• 1:12:43
  SPEAKER_02: But like that pain was what guided me out of there.
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like I could have, I was aware that like I was 23 years old, I shouldn't be having this pain.
• 1:12:52
  SPEAKER_02: What can I be doing to not have this pain?
• 1:12:54
  SPEAKER_02: And that kind of led me down this like health journey.
• 1:12:57
  SPEAKER_02: And and these days, you know, guys, I am a nerd.
• 1:13:00
  SPEAKER_02: I've been a chubby nerd my whole life.
• 1:13:02
  SPEAKER_02: But in the last year or so, I've gotten really into exercising and working out and lifting heavy.
• 1:13:07
  SPEAKER_02: And if you're an aging woman, I'll try to bully you into doing it too, because it's really good for us.
• 1:13:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I've gotten, I never thought I would be this person, like ever.
• 1:13:16
  SPEAKER_02: And and I I enjoy going to the gym.
• 1:13:18
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 1:13:19
  SPEAKER_02: I've hated.
• 1:13:20
  SPEAKER_02: I was I have so much trauma around like at soccer practice, everyone was running and I was like falling behind.
• 1:13:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like I am like not the athlete.
• 1:13:28
  SPEAKER_02: But what I have found is my shoulder was fucking hurting.
• 1:13:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I like couldn't go up the steps without like my hips hurting and I was out of breath.
• 1:13:39
  SPEAKER_02: And oh, yellow flag.
• 1:13:41
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, something's not right here.
• 1:13:43
  SPEAKER_02: And sure enough, I go lift weights like three times with someone who knows what they're doing.
• 1:13:48
  SPEAKER_02: All of a sudden, my back pain's gone.
• 1:13:50
  SPEAKER_02: All of a sudden, my shoulder's a little looser.
• 1:13:52
  SPEAKER_02: Literally, the only reason I go to the gym is because I know I hurt if I don't go.
• 1:13:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I had to, we could share the story some other time.
• 1:14:01
  SPEAKER_02: I had to have an emergency appendectomy and I had to take a break from the gym earlier this year.
• 1:14:05
  SPEAKER_02: And it was a really good reminder because immediately I started to feel like crinkly and like my knees were hurting, and I was like itching to get back into the gym, which is not something I would ever say.
• 1:14:17
  SPEAKER_02: But it's that sensitivity that I've hated my whole life.
• 1:14:21
  SPEAKER_02: What a gift! What a gift that I am such a sensitive bitch.
• 1:14:25
  SPEAKER_02: Because like if I could, you guys, I would like eat McDonald's and drink beer.
• 1:14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like my pizza rolls and beer is like my bad, my bad place.
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's a really red flag.
• 1:14:36
  SPEAKER_02: But like if my stomach would let me, I would eat horribly.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I've had a sensitive stomach, so I've had to learn how to like eat better in a way that doesn't make me sick.
• 1:14:44
  SPEAKER_02: And like my body, I don't know why I get stiff and it hurts all the time.
• 1:14:46
  SPEAKER_02: But when I work out, I feel better.
• 1:14:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so I am just really realizing like what a gift this sensitivity.
• 1:14:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, obviously, it's a gift in my job and with my friends.
• 1:14:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I I know that, but like I don't need to be annoyed at this body.
• 1:15:00
  SPEAKER_02: This body is sending me signals all the time of you're headed in the right direction.
• 1:15:05
  SPEAKER_02: Hey girl, maybe you're a little off path and it's time to reevaluate things, right?
• 1:15:10
  SPEAKER_02: So, like this idea of what a gift has really been resonating with Mariah and I.
• 1:15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, God, what a cool time we are alive.
• 1:15:18
  SPEAKER_02: We it we as women, we have all these options right now, all of this access to economic opportunity.
• 1:15:24
  SPEAKER_02: We can literally yeah and make 1.2 million fucking dollars, bro.
• 1:15:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's such a cool time to be alive and it's all a mindset.
• 1:15:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what a gift that we have this space together.
• 1:15:34
  SPEAKER_02: What a gift that you guys have listened to this podcast for so long.
• 1:15:37
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you guys.
• 1:15:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we're just in a cool place in life right now.
• 1:15:41
  SPEAKER_02: And uh yeah, I'm excited to share this season with you guys and kind of keep revealing what we've been learning.
• 1:15:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's a cool through line that happened with this episode where it really started in like visibility and business and like what we're doing, how we're growing, how we're focusing.
• 1:15:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then it really comes back to and how are we grounding all of that into our body?
• 1:16:02
  SPEAKER_01: How are we building a life that supports us to grow taller or wider or our roots deeper?
• 1:16:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, because you can't just keep growing in the same way, in the same direction over and over and over again.
• 1:16:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's life doesn't work like that.
• 1:16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if anybody has like studied life coaching or like the coaching model, it's like, what is it, like the wheel of life or something?
• 1:16:27
  SPEAKER_01: There's like the different sections of life that you really have to pay attention to.
• 1:16:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like there's things that have to counterbalance.
• 1:16:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I could make a shit ton of money, probably being an SEO agency.
• 1:16:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want that because it's not worth what it would do to my body and what it would do to my mind, and what it would do to my creativity, and what it would, to be honest, and what the fuck it would do to my soul.
• 1:16:51
  SPEAKER_01: It would crush me.
• 1:16:52
  SPEAKER_01: If somebody was like, you have to, I'd been like, take me out, fam.
• 1:16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I know that that sounds extreme, and I am an extreme talker when I communicate, but it's really like we get to decide, and responsibility comes with these decisions.
• 1:17:12
  SPEAKER_01: We get to decide we have this freedom, we have this ability to create whatever we want, and we have responsibility to our body, to our mind, to our soul to still tend to it.
• 1:17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And the people that keep hitting brick walls over and over again are the people that are growing at all costs, the people that keep hustling over and over and over and over again and they're not checking in with themselves.
• 1:17:35
  SPEAKER_01: To me, I will take slow, nourishing growth with seasons and like different opportunities and like a long runway over that quick success.
• 1:17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like when we're talking about 1.2 million in six months, I threw up in my mouth because like I that just feels like too much too quick for me.
• 1:17:55
  SPEAKER_01: I like the savoriness, savoring these moments and like being able to be like, damn, yeah, I did that.
• 1:18:02
  SPEAKER_01: And the accomplishment of like, and I haven't given up 11 years in business and I have not given up.
• 1:18:09
  SPEAKER_01: If I've only been six months in business and I hit 1.2 million, I'm not speaking for this girl, I'm just saying for me specifically, I hit one 1.2 million, then the next six months are gonna be like, where was your 1.3 million?
• 1:18:22
  SPEAKER_01: And like, that's not what I want.
• 1:18:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to be able to integrate this stuff slowly because otherwise I wouldn't be able to grow my roots even deeper and be able to really build a foundation that's going to sustainably support this growth, this visibility, all of these cringe mountains, because every time that you do something new, it's a new fucking mountain.
• 1:18:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have a friend who she just posted on Facebook and she was like, I told myself I was gonna do something hard.
• 1:18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I signed up for a rowing team and I've never rode a day in my life.
• 1:18:53
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, it's fucking horrifying.
• 1:18:55
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, I got there and she was like, we have to row three times a week, two hours each session.
• 1:19:01
  SPEAKER_01: I have to show up because this team needs me, so I can't just bail on it.
• 1:19:05
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, the instructor's trying to teach me things, nobody's asking questions, I'm asking all the questions.
• 1:19:10
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, it was so cringy, but that's what she wanted, and that's what it is.
• 1:19:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's cringe mountain after cringe mountain after cringe mountain.
• 1:19:19
  SPEAKER_01: But you can't handle that as a human being if you don't take the time to come back to yourself, figure out are you close to burnout?
• 1:19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Are you just adding random shit to your plate?
• 1:19:31
  SPEAKER_01: All of that stuff.
• 1:19:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I just really like the journey that this episode went on.
• 1:19:37
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 1:19:38
  SPEAKER_02: And before we shut it down, I just sold a hot plate for a hundred dollars on eBay that I found for free in our alley.
• 1:19:48
  SPEAKER_02: In your alley, in my alley.
• 1:19:50
  SPEAKER_02: I was taking the trash out, and there was this little psycho.
• 1:19:54
  SPEAKER_02: There was this scientific-y looking hot plate laying on the ground, and I was like, that's a weird logo.
• 1:19:58
  SPEAKER_02: It looks really high tech.
• 1:19:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so I looked it up and they were valuable.
• 1:20:01
  SPEAKER_02: So, you guys, what a time to be alive! Money's everywhere.
• 1:20:05
  SPEAKER_02: Take your trash out.
• 1:20:06
  SPEAKER_02: There is money everywhere.
• 1:20:08
  SPEAKER_02: Literally, while we filmed this episode, that's such a cool example.
• 1:20:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I got something for free from the trash, sold it for a hundred dollars.
• 1:20:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm literally I'm gonna start introducing you as this is my like trashy French.
• 1:20:19
  SPEAKER_01: And people are gonna think that I like that I mean something else.
• 1:20:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be like, no, she literally just like finds things and dumpsters and sells them.
• 1:20:28
  SPEAKER_02: So, whatever your version of me finding trash and selling it is, just run after it.
• 1:20:33
  SPEAKER_02: What a time to be alive where you can bake sourdough bread, you can sell trash online, you can do whatever it is.
• 1:20:39
  SPEAKER_02: This is cool.
• 1:20:40
  SPEAKER_02: We're here to share your story.
• 1:20:41
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you guys for joining along with this ride.
• 1:20:44
  SPEAKER_02: I think we're ready to close this episode down.
• 1:20:46
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, friends, you have the power to create whatever the hell you want.
• 1:20:50
  SPEAKER_02: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:20:54
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see you in the next episode.