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What Made Him Propose in 8 Months? · Secrets They'll Only Tell a Matchmaker with Gina Hendrix

0:03
Welcome to Secrets from a Billionaire's Matchmaker with
0:06
matchmaker Gina Hendricks. Hey, I'm Gina Hendricks.
0:17
I'm. Here to sort out your love life.
0:20
Welcome to Secrets from a Billionaire's Matchmaker, where
0:23
we do a lot of things around here.
0:25
I cover a lot of your questions and once in a while, I welcome a
0:29
special guest like in this episode today.
0:34
Today I am interviewing somebody that I find so interesting.
0:39
You'll find her story so interesting.
0:41
Her name is Natasha. And I mean, ladies, if you want
0:47
to know how to have a man wrapped around your finger,
0:50
crawl across the desert on his stomach and do back bends to be
0:55
with you, then you don't want to miss this episode.
0:59
And then I'm going to do more Q&A.
1:01
So we're going to open with a few questions and we're going to
1:03
close with a few questions. And always, always protecting
1:06
everybody's privacy. And if you ever want to join a
1:09
live, you can always e-mail me at teamgina@ginahendrix.com or
1:14
send in your questions and I might answer them on the air.
1:18
Same e-mail teamgina@ginahendricks.com.
1:21
OK, buckle up baby, let's do this.
1:25
What about that in between time between the first kiss and when
1:30
you actually have sex Sex. Yeah, what's what's the actual
1:35
question though? Well, the question is like about
1:38
what's the timing on that, you know, is it after a couple of
1:42
dates and you know. I mean, here's the here's how I
1:45
feel about it. You know, there are some women
1:47
you know that I mean, listen, the standard advice I say, you
1:52
know, just even on the first date, just kind of go and see if
1:55
you even like them as absolutely as a friend, right?
1:58
But I'm saying this for the other women who say I like to
2:01
make out on a first date. The.
2:03
Thing is, I think that. The sooner we move to intimacy,
2:08
the sooner we put like our rose colored glasses on.
2:11
And we're not. Really seeing this person for
2:14
who they are because now we've got these other set of emotions
2:17
that have kicked in and now we may be a little more forgiving
2:20
or ignore some potential red flags.
2:22
So I do think it's important to go on, you know, 1-2 dates
2:28
before you get kind of to that next phase.
2:31
But then I have no problem with kissing and, and if you want to,
2:35
if you feel like you want to make out with them, make out
2:38
with them. But just also make sure that
2:41
one, because a lot of women will do this, they will move things
2:45
along to more of a sexual nature because they feel like they need
2:48
to, to get the guy more invested.
2:51
And that's when women start to get their feelings hurt.
2:53
So I just say, you know, go at a pace where regardless of the
2:58
outcome on his end, you won't feel like, you know, you're mad
3:02
at yourself for doing that or you get your feelings hurt.
3:05
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do know what you mean,
3:07
yeah. And don't let it.
3:08
Don't let it cloud your judgement in any way.
3:11
Yeah, because my experience has been exactly what you said if if
3:15
the physical stuff starts too early, regardless of what kind
3:19
of physical stuff it is. Yeah.
3:21
Other than kissing, yeah, it does it.
3:24
It just mixes everything up. It does.
3:27
It mixes everything up and no matter how old we are, it really
3:29
does, you know? Yeah, it's really interesting.
3:32
Yeah. And so and I, and so, and also,
3:34
I think there are those guys that do want to move it along to
3:37
that as well, because then once you get there and it becomes
3:41
more sexual, more comfortable, then then they don't have to
3:45
necessarily continue to court you with those dates like they
3:48
like they do beforehand. Do you know what I mean?
3:52
You know, so then it becomes a thing.
3:53
Oh, just come over to the house, we'll cook dinner, we'll hang
3:56
out or we'll watch TV and get this whole beginning courting
4:00
phase. And a lot of guys do that on
4:01
purpose. They don't want to spend the
4:02
money, they don't want to invest the time.
4:04
So men will wait. They will wait.
4:07
If it, they feel like it's worth it, they will invest.
4:09
They will, you know they will, will make the effort if they're
4:12
truly excited and interested. Let me just introduce my guest.
4:18
We're all about being in your feminine energy tonight, ladies.
4:21
And this is a woman who is she's got an amazing story she's going
4:26
to share with you. She's going to share it with all
4:28
of us. So her husband passed away and
4:32
she had she was a single mom with four young kids and she and
4:35
I think first connected on TikTok.
4:38
She now runs a multi income stream online business
4:40
specializing and beauty and Wellness.
4:42
But now she's kind of, since she found her guy, she's now
4:45
determined to help other women do that too and be their best
4:48
selves. So she helps high achieving
4:50
women heal their receiving blocks with men and money.
4:54
Who doesn't like that ladies? She shows women how to regulate
4:57
their nervous system, feminine energy and hormones.
5:00
So I really want to focus on feminine energy.
5:02
It's because I don't talk about it enough and it's so important.
5:05
So let's welcome Natasha. Hello.
5:10
How are you? Do you want to tell everybody a
5:14
little back story about you? Well.
5:17
I'm first of all, so thankful to be here and so thankful for
5:20
Gina. And she's just amazing, as you
5:22
ladies know. And so my big thing was, so a
5:26
few years ago, I lost my husband to colon cancer.
5:29
And so I was young. I was 33.
5:31
He actually was an engineer. Great husbands.
5:35
FYI, Engineer, they're very reliable.
5:38
You weren't reliable, right? OK, great, great.
5:41
That side note there, but it was devastating, as you can imagine.
5:44
I had four kids and we were, you know, at the peak of our
5:48
business career. Life was amazing and he ended up
5:52
passing me. He was only 37 from lung cancer.
5:56
How long had you guys been married?
5:58
We met when I was 18, so we were together for almost 15 years.
6:03
We were married. We were just about to have our
6:04
10th wedding anniversary. And how old were your children
6:08
at the time? So my youngest daughter, like
6:10
once he passed away, my youngest daughter was 3.
6:13
And so I had a three-year old, a four year old, a six and an 8
6:16
year old. Wow.
6:18
So they were all under 8. Well, yes.
6:21
It was super traumatic. It was, it was horrible.
6:24
It was absolutely horrible. But the beautiful thing is, I
6:27
mean, This is why I help women out.
6:28
You, you got hope, ladies. There's light at the end of the
6:31
tunnel. Because when you and I first
6:33
met, you were really into the health and Wellness space, which
6:36
you are still and yes, and fitness and eating healthy that.
6:41
But you've kind of now. Yes, evolved.
6:44
So, So what I, what I started doing was just like my own inner
6:48
healing journey, right? So getting my body back into a
6:50
healthy place. I was a mess physically,
6:53
mentally, emotionally, as you can imagine, you know, started,
6:56
I was an RN before, before I became a business owner.
7:00
And so just was really working on myself.
7:02
And then, you know, the global pandemic was happening.
7:04
So I'm like, you know, let me just go online and start sharing
7:07
my story. And, you know, told women, oh,
7:09
by the way, I've had four kids and you know, it was just like
7:13
instant like virality. Everyone wants to know the
7:15
secrets and the hormones stuff. And so it's helping all these
7:18
ladies. And then, you know, four years
7:22
had passed and I was like, I'm getting way too comfortable
7:26
being single. Fair enough.
7:29
It it happens, I say. You know, the longer you you are
7:34
in The Cave. Yes.
7:36
Further into The Cave you go, and the further the time goes on
7:39
further into The Cave, unless you're very conscious and aware
7:42
of not going far into The Cave. I didn't realize I had a lot of
7:46
self sabotaging behaviors and thought patterns.
7:49
And it's it's very subconscious. And so that's, you know, when
7:53
you start attracting the wrong guys or you keep avoiding dating
7:57
or like we do a bunch of weird stuff as women, right?
8:00
Anyway, successful business wise, but you know, in the
8:04
relationship side, it was dry on purpose.
8:07
And so once I decided, OK, I'm like, no, Natasha, like it's
8:11
been 4 years. You need to actually date for
8:13
marriage. But the big block I had, and
8:15
this is where Gina came into the picture was I'm like, I do so
8:19
much content online that I'm like, I feel very exposed.
8:24
I don't want someone that's, you know, seeing me online all of a
8:27
sudden see me on a dating app. And so, and I also wanted to
8:31
date in a different country. I didn't want to date in the
8:33
country I was in because I was actually planning on moving.
8:35
So I. Oh country, you were in Canada.
8:38
I was in Canada at the time, but I was planning on coming to the
8:41
US and so I didn't want to date anyone in Canada 'cause I knew
8:44
it was going to be moving. There's a lot of ladies looking
8:47
for love in Canada. Yeah, yeah.
8:50
Which, you know, I totally recommend women just open up
8:53
internationally because to my girls that I've coached as well,
8:56
they're now married and they married guys from the UK.
8:59
So anyway, I contacted Gina and I was like, I just really have
9:04
one big question. It's like, how do I go online
9:07
and be Incognito? That was like my main question.
9:12
That was the reason why I wasn't going online.
9:14
And so she's like, you know, well, first of all, she's like,
9:20
use Bumble. I was like, oh, my gosh, really?
9:22
This is what my life has come to Like, OK, I'm going to shut up
9:25
and trust Gina. So I'm like, OK, Gina, I'm doing
9:28
exactly what you tell me to do. So she told me, yeah, go on
9:33
Bumble and change your location to whatever you want.
9:37
So I changed my location to where I was moving to, which was
9:40
Las Vegas. And I just happened to meet my
9:44
now husband. And it just happened to be
9:47
during the right time when I was changing my my location.
9:52
And he was everything I asked for plus more.
9:56
And I just want to say that I wanted a man that didn't drink
9:59
alcohol, no drugs. I wanted like a man of God.
10:03
I stayed, we stayed celibate until marriage.
10:07
He. Yeah, yeah.
10:09
Stayed celibate till marriage. Met him on Bumble.
10:13
Yeah, first day. Wow, wow, wow.
10:17
That's unbelievable and awesome at the same time.
10:19
Yeah, yeah, and, and. But, you know, even though I met
10:21
him on the first day, I still forced myself out of my comfort
10:25
zone, talked to other guys. I did something called
10:27
rotationally dating, which is what I teach my girls now to
10:30
where you're talking to more than one guy at once.
10:32
Kind of puts a fire under their butts to see who's serious and
10:36
who's not. I go a lot of women don't want
10:39
to do that. A lot of women, a lot of women
10:41
sign up for my program and then I I elevate their profile and
10:46
their everything, the genus singer profile stuff.
10:49
And then they meet a guy and then they don't even do the rest
10:54
of the program. And I'm like.
10:55
Hey, hey, hey, pay. For this you need to use it
10:58
because you shouldn't really put all your eggs in one basket so
11:03
soon. And I understand we get busy.
11:05
So when somebody. Gets busy.
11:07
How do they maintain rotational dating?
11:10
Yeah, well, that, I mean, you guys, I'm like the poster child
11:13
for this. I was a single mom with four
11:15
kids and doing social media and running businesses, right.
11:19
So you, I mean, there's different ways you can do it.
11:21
You don't want to overwhelm yourself, right?
11:23
Like you can just be talking to just a couple of guys.
11:26
Like I would force myself to like, for example, you know,
11:30
some guy wanted to go for a coffee or just a dinner, even
11:33
though he wasn't the really the type of guy I wanted to date.
11:37
I was interested in Brian, who's not my husband.
11:39
I understand the whole feminine and energy dynamics and I
11:43
understand just like what you teach Gina.
11:45
If they can sense if you're like always thinking about them.
11:50
Maybe. We were engaged in eight months.
11:53
Let's back this story up. So when we first met on Bumble,
11:55
he was living in Vegas. No, I didn't live in.
11:58
OK, So then you meshed, you started talking.
12:02
You told him you were in Canada. Yeah.
12:05
And how long did you guys talk? And then what was the next
12:10
phase? Did you do FaceTime, Zoom?
12:11
What'd you? Do OK, great questions.
12:13
OK, So what I did first of all, I only had filter, sorry, the
12:17
verified profile. I needed that for just safety
12:20
for myself. I did, you know, right away he
12:23
wanted my number and I'm like, I don't give my number out to
12:26
strangers, but I'm like, we can do a, a video call on the app.
12:30
So. We did a video call on the app.
12:33
It was like instant connection, but I still made time to talk to
12:38
other guys. Also, even though I was like, Oh
12:40
my God, this guy's amazing. I still talk to the other guys
12:43
on the app, Forced myself to do it.
12:46
But once you know, I think after a couple days, totally like
12:50
compatible on every level spiritually, just values,
12:54
character, lifestyle, all that stuff, and life vision.
12:59
So I did give him my number and then it was FaceTime calls every
13:02
single day after that. He always called, texted.
13:06
He was a great communicator. Doing now, you guys are on the
13:09
regular phone and you're doing FaceTime every day.
13:11
How long did that go on? And then who made the plan and
13:15
how did the next steps work? OK, great questions.
13:17
So I had already plans to fly to Vegas with my mom to go check
13:22
out a school for my kids that summer.
13:25
So this was actually a couple years ago.
13:26
So there's a bit of story here, so.
13:29
Since we met God, time flies, huh?
13:31
Right. So we had met, it was like end
13:36
of July I think. And then I heard already plans
13:38
to come to Vegas. I had a couple dates lined up,
13:40
so I had another guy that wanted to meet up as well.
13:43
And so I'm like, OK, when I'm there, we can go for dinner.
13:46
So my mom and I came to Vegas. He met up with us, took us
13:51
around and it was just like such a great connection.
13:53
It was it was kind of interesting because he met my
13:55
mom like the same time he met me.
13:58
But I'm like, OK, this is going to go one or two.
14:02
Did you bring the kids with you or no?
14:03
They were in Canada. No, it was just me.
14:05
Yeah, it was just me. And we had such an amazing time
14:09
and it was interesting. And This is why it's so
14:13
important for ladies to do inner healing because, you know, I
14:17
went back to Canada, he was still in Vegas.
14:20
And I could tell I was like, I was being bombarded with guys
14:24
that wanted to date and like, be serious and all this stuff.
14:28
And This is why it's like feminine energy is like your
14:31
superpower, ladies, that most women don't tap into.
14:34
I never tap into but. Anyway, you know, you know, it's
14:37
OK, it's OK. You still need strategy.
14:39
You still need strategy, right? That's the, the yeah.
14:41
So we stopped talking for a few months.
14:43
I did. I took a break from the dating
14:45
app because I was actually really overwhelmed.
14:47
And I real I had triggers and like I had to work through like
14:49
going through like the thought of losing someone, you know,
14:51
like all that nonsense, right? Yeah.
14:54
Yeah, totally. And like, that's why dating is
14:56
so great, because it's gonna bring up your crap and deal with
15:00
it and like, release it. Don't, don't suppress it, don't
15:03
numb it, right. Like just the faster you deal
15:06
with the crap that comes up, the triggers and release it, the
15:09
more the quickly the the faster you're going to attract the
15:12
right guy to you. But, but, but saying that, you
15:16
know, there's also these women who get themselves into trouble
15:21
by by, but of course, they could probably get themselves into
15:25
trouble on A at a dinner too. But you know, I've had the
15:28
scenarios where the woman was like the guy wanted to meet her
15:32
in a park and then it was just she she sort of didn't know
15:36
where to raise her standards at that point.
15:38
So then all the dates were like at that level.
15:41
Another one program, the man wanted to just meet her in a
15:44
parking lot. She met him in a parking lot and
15:47
then got got in the car with him.
15:49
And then he was like, let's go have sex.
15:52
And she did. But I don't want women to do
15:56
that either, you said. So I'm going to be careful with
15:58
these. All signs that you need some
16:00
inner healing, babe. So if you're attracting guys
16:03
like this, then that is everyone around you only reflects you,
16:09
your energy. That's it.
16:10
Which is a great thing because as you heal this crap, you're
16:14
going to start attracting higher quality men.
16:16
And you know what, if he's like still continuing with, OK, now
16:19
let's just go for coffee dates. You like you're just moving on
16:22
to the next thing. Right.
16:24
I do love intentional rotation. I had a woman today because when
16:28
I'm telling the ladies how to pre qualify, you know when they
16:30
get on a call with a guy, at the end of the call, if it's gone,
16:34
well, the guy should be asking you out.
16:36
And if a guy is getting off the call with you and he's like, OK,
16:39
well I'll call you again sometime.
16:41
You say that and tell me how you would handle it.
16:43
But this is what I told her to say.
16:45
I said for you to say, well actually I'm very intentional
16:49
with my dating, so why don't you reach out to me when you
16:52
actually want to make a plan to meet and boom, that's the line
16:55
in the sand. 100% you agree, 100% you know I, I'm 1000%.
17:02
I may have to bring you back another time, Natasha, because
17:04
you're so good. And I would love to come back
17:06
anytime you guys want to. I can talk about this all day,
17:09
especially the connections. So thank you so much for being.
17:11
Thank you ladies. Thank you.
17:13
All right, we'll talk to you soon.
17:16
OK, Now let's move on to some more questions.
17:20
You ladies have so many burning questions for me and I love it.
17:23
Let's do it. OK, let's talk a little bit more
17:26
about the dating apps and pre qualifying because pre
17:30
qualifying is so important. This is a great question, King.
17:34
Is the phone call a vibe check? Possible ideas of what would be
17:38
good to talk about on the phone? I mean, on the phone you want to
17:41
talk about whatever's important to you, you know, or whatever is
17:46
still unclear about him from so you you know, you know what you
17:53
know in this profile. And then hopefully you've asked
17:56
a few more questions in the messaging phase on the app,
17:59
right. But then by the time you get to
18:01
the phone call before the first date, there has to be a window
18:04
of stuff you're still wondering about.
18:06
I know there are there are things you're wondering about.
18:08
So therefore on that call, this is where you further pre qualify
18:12
because it's all about knowing how to pre qualify at the
18:15
different phases and stages, right?
18:17
You pre qualify in the initial chatting phase on the app, Then
18:20
you pre qualify on the call, and then you even pre qualify on the
18:24
first date. So you just want to pre qualify
18:27
further to know. Is this a guy?
18:29
I actually want to go out with is he is he is he on the same
18:34
page with being intentional about what his relationship
18:37
goals are? Is he intentional about, you
18:41
know, his career path and and his you know, and just anything
18:45
that's that's important to you that you're still unsure about
18:49
after meeting him on the app is what you want to clarify on the
18:53
call before you decide ever to go on date one with him?
18:57
So we talk a lot about Bumble and not as much about Hinge.
19:00
Do you recommend using only one at a time?
19:05
No, no, I just, I just kind of just me.
19:08
I'm just a creature of habit. I, I think, you know, I've had
19:11
women have better luck on Hinge than Bumble.
19:14
I've had women have better luck on Bumble than Hinge.
19:17
I honestly don't think 1 is necessarily better than the
19:19
other. I think it's just random luck at
19:22
that point, but no, you can use both.
19:25
Absolutely. I just get I'm just creature of
19:27
habit and I I like the flow of Bumble.
19:30
I feel like it's just a little more straightforward.
19:32
You swipe, you wait, see if they extend or they now chat with
19:35
your opening move thing. Whereas Hinge, I think a lot of
19:39
women get a little more confused on Hinge.
19:41
They go around and start liking men or they go around and they
19:44
start commenting and they get confused about the setup where I
19:48
feel like it's just a little bit more clear and straightforward
19:51
on Bumble. But no, you can absolutely use
19:53
both, it's fine. And both simultaneously or.
19:57
Yeah, I mean you. Just have to you just.
19:59
I don't. I don't.
20:00
I don't listen. I don't have.
20:01
I find a lot of the women when they're here with me will be
20:04
using them simultaneously. I don't think it makes a
20:06
difference one way or the other. Got it.
20:09
OK. I don't.
20:10
It's just some women get overwhelmed.
20:12
Some women. You know.
20:13
Some women get very overwhelmed. I mean, I also say that, you
20:17
know, I think the best strategy is to just go on once a day on
20:21
the dating apps and not get too caught up in the, in the
20:25
gamification and the and the rat wheel, because that's how you
20:29
tend to get exhausted. But if you just go on like pick
20:31
a time like in the mornings or whenever and you go through and
20:35
you run through on, on Hinge, you're only looking down at the
20:39
bottom where that little heart thing is to see if any guy has
20:43
actually made a comment. That's what we're looking for on
20:45
Hinge. They have to actually not a like
20:48
not a anything they have to make a comment and you just glance at
20:52
Hinge is any guys making comments on me?
20:54
No, yes, OK, and then you do the same thing on Bumble.
20:57
You just do a swiping and then you see if any have made a
21:01
thoughtful reply opening move or extended the time and then you
21:05
forget about it until the next day.
21:07
That's my recommendation because otherwise I feel like a lot of
21:13
both men and women use the dating apps to kind of kill
21:15
time. Like they'd be scrolling through
21:17
TikTok or Instagram looking at videos.
21:19
And I think when you do that, you get a bit anesthetized to
21:22
people. So you start feeling like, oh,
21:24
everybody's disgusting every like like as if the dating app
21:28
is there to entertain you like other social media things and
21:32
it's not, you know, the dating apps is not there for your
21:35
entertainment. So do not use it as your
21:37
entertainment. Do not do it when you're bored.
21:39
Go on, be intentional, get off, wait and come back the next SO.
21:45
Thank you for that. And so then on that note, on
21:48
Hinge, because it isn't a blind swiping situation, is the
21:52
recommendation to like not do any kind of liking or unliking
21:56
or? Can you?
21:57
Ex people out but not like them. Well, so, OK, so on Hinge, this
22:02
is where they get tricky about the upsell.
22:04
So, OK, so when you go in at the bottom, along the bottom of
22:08
Hinge, right, and you see the little icons and you go into the
22:11
heart area, OK, now they're going to be showing you that you
22:14
might get a message that says, hey, you've got nothing, No,
22:17
nobody's liking you or yeah, whatever their verbiage is,
22:20
right? You got no action happening.
22:21
OK, so then then you'll want to go to the H where you're just
22:27
randomly seeing people and that's where you can initiate,
22:30
right? And I call it sometimes tapping
22:32
on the shoulders. So if you've gone into the heart
22:35
area and repeatedly you have no action happening, no action at
22:40
all for like a long time, then I say, or you've dropped your pin
22:45
into a new location. Because if you've dropped your
22:47
pin into a new location, then obviously you're not going to
22:49
have any traction there yet because you haven't shown up on
22:52
the radar yet. So then if you want to just
22:55
gently get something the ball rolling, then it's fine.
22:59
Go through, look at the guys, but just give them the tap on
23:03
the shoulder, which means just like them and send the like.
23:08
Don't do the upsell where it says, do you want to send a
23:10
rose? No, for God's sakes, don't do
23:12
that. Just send a little like just
23:14
send a little like just send a little like.
23:16
And now I look at it like you're just tapping them on the
23:18
shoulder, letting them know you're there.
23:20
And then from there they can either come in with effort or
23:23
not. And then we then our regular
23:25
like looking for effort is, is in play.
23:27
Now where hinge gets tricky. OK, so if you go into the heart
23:32
area and and it does show that you've got some action
23:35
happening, OK, they'll show you one guy's photo very clearly and
23:39
then a bunch of guys below it that are blurred out.
23:42
OK. And if you want to skip ahead
23:44
and click on the blurred, that's where they go.
23:46
Oh, you've got to pay Bah, Bah, Bah, Bah, Bah.
23:49
But you do not have to pay as long as you make a decision, yes
23:53
or no to the first guy that you can see clearly.
23:56
So you have to look at him, make a decision, yes or no.
23:59
And then the the next one will become unblurred.
24:03
And then you have to make a decision and the next one
24:05
becomes unblurred. OK, so that that's how Hinge
24:09
gets a little tricky. You don't have to pay.
24:11
You just have to make a clear decision on whether you like
24:13
this guy yes or no before they reveal the next one to you.
24:17
Got it. Thank you.
24:19
Thank you. Thanks for asking the question
24:20
and unlocking the secrets from the vault as I like to say.
24:23
Hey, Gina. Hey, kind of like going where we
24:26
know he was going, right? So you're you're swiping right.
24:28
I mean, I know that I'm not all the way there yet with you, but
24:31
just kind of going through it, right to see who's like you and
24:33
just to view kind of like how much effort a guy's putting in
24:37
on their own profile, right? Like right, very magic.
24:42
Like I don't know, way to sort of go through and say, OK, I
24:45
know when I level up, right? And I'm on that and the pictures
24:50
are looking great, right? So.
24:51
So there's got to be a standard I think.
24:55
For sure. Yourself on what it what are you
24:57
looking for? Right So if a guy I mean like
25:00
just wiping through a lot of these guys are taking pictures
25:02
of themselves in their cars or whatever and it's just they
25:06
didn't put any time or effort into it right.
25:08
So I know how do you how do you say OK, I'm interested because
25:13
right it is it the attraction out of the gate?
25:16
Is it that you're reading through sort of their bio piece
25:19
and you say OK, that's kind of interesting.
25:21
Like when do you know? Right.
25:23
I think this is an excellent question.
25:25
Thank you. I think that the way I usually
25:30
do it and teach women is, you know, because because here's
25:35
what I know for a fact. I know that there are like so
25:38
many women that also have low level photos and they make a lot
25:43
of the same mistakes the guys doing.
25:45
But you ladies lucky you have me.
25:46
You know, these guys don't have obviously they're not taking the
25:51
steps to find somebody to help them raise their profile.
25:54
So on first glance at a initial profile photo, I don't again
26:00
because I think I do it systematically.
26:03
So I'm not going on and off the app all day looking and then I
26:08
take time to be like make an appointment to do this in the
26:11
mornings and then I'm focused. So I'm actually sitting there
26:16
looking at each and every guy. I'm not glancing.
26:18
You go, oh, he's, I mean, now there are some that are really
26:21
like an obvious, super obvious horror show that you just must
26:26
go get him off my screen as fast as possible.
26:28
But then there are those other guys that aren't taking great
26:32
photos. But I look at does he have his
26:35
job listed right there? So his name is age, his
26:38
education job, whatever. As much as you can put in that
26:40
initial upfront photo. I'm looking out of the great
26:44
mainly at all the details. So I want to see that.
26:47
And if his photo is like he doesn't look that good, I'm
26:50
like, but he's filled this out. Let me just see if this gets
26:53
better. And then I go down to the middle
26:55
part and then I look at, you know, his education and what
26:59
he's looking for and I see if all those things seem
27:02
interesting to me. And then I go, OK, now this guy
27:06
sounds good in what he's written in his details.
27:08
Now let me see. Hopefully he looks somewhat
27:11
attractive enough because I'm less interested in what somebody
27:14
looks like because in terms of style and things like this,
27:17
those things can be fixed. And for any woman that thinks
27:19
that's not true, you're wrong because as a former fashion
27:24
stylist, that's how they fix up celebrities.
27:26
Celebrities look as great as they do because they've got
27:29
people helping them. And I've known women who've
27:31
gotten together with men. In fact, my friends girlfriend
27:34
sample who she met that close to billionaire guy on Bumble in in
27:38
LA. He's like a Harrison Ford older
27:40
guy, but like his style was very looked a little older.
27:45
I mean, it was you could tell his clothes were expensive.
27:47
I also look for to see how they dress.
27:49
So if a guy's wearing low level T-shirts and all his photos, to
27:53
me, I got to see some glimmer of hope until he had money by his
27:58
style. But it wasn't like, hi, I'm a
28:00
cool relevant older guy. It was like I'm an older guy
28:05
with money and now he's like the cool relevant guy.
28:07
She showed me his pic. She took him shopping, she fixed
28:09
him up. So it's an easy fix.
28:11
So I focus on the details. I then I also look, you know,
28:15
for a man who's like collared shirts, I like somebody who
28:18
looks like cuz you can tell if shirt, if shirts are custom
28:21
made, you can tell if the suit fits well or shirts fit well.
28:25
One woman me this guy and and I was like, he didn't have an
28:28
occupation. He every photo looks so low
28:32
level. I mean, and then come to find
28:33
out when you he looked closer, he said he was just looking for
28:36
a casual thing like those are guys you should never even be
28:39
swiping on. And I do want to be clear
28:42
because in my book, and I do need to update some things in my
28:44
book, but my book, The great Manhunt, when I talk about
28:48
swiping like a guy, by that I meant two things.
28:52
And I think some things weren't clear enough.
28:53
And that's one of the things I'd love to redo in the book.
28:56
I think that when I say swipe like a guy, I mean two things by
28:59
it. I think that when you initially
29:03
do your photos, I say swipe like a guy.
29:06
Meaning just swipe on the hodgepodge of them.
29:09
Don't really look, don't really prequalify.
29:10
Why? Because I want to see what men
29:15
without you micromanaging it, what, what sampling of these men
29:20
that you have swiped on that have matched with are coming in
29:22
with effort. And if you tell me, Oh my God,
29:25
Gina, either nobody's coming in with effort or the most
29:28
disgusting men are coming in with effort.
29:29
And none of the guys I want to meet are coming, coming in with
29:32
any kind of effort. That tells me we got to keep
29:35
working on the photos. That tells me, I mean, there's
29:37
some of you who live in areas that where it's going to be
29:40
fewer and far between. And again, in general,
29:42
exceptional people even in the world are few and far between.
29:46
So you really do have to manage your expectations.
29:48
But if a woman says to me, I did, I swipe like a guy.
29:52
I matched with a lot of guys and none of them that I like are
29:56
coming in hot for me. But yet you matched with a lot
29:59
of guys, but those guys were not cute or not high level, but
30:02
you're matching and you're matching even with guys you were
30:05
interested in. That means we got to level up
30:07
your photos. If you're not matching with
30:08
anybody, then maybe we need to even start searching for men
30:11
outside your area. So that's what I mean initially
30:14
when I say swipe like a guy just so we get a large sampling of
30:17
men and we see who's who's resonating with your profile.
30:23
And again, if it's not what you want, then we got to level it up
30:26
or continue to revisit leveling it up.
30:28
The other side of the coin is I think when men are swiping in
30:31
the beginning, they're not getting really attached.
30:34
They're just swiping matching. And I want you ladies to remain
30:38
a little more detached until it actually becomes something
30:41
because in the early days of matching, even the early days of
30:44
talking, hell in the early days of dating it, it really means
30:49
nothing. I mean, you're you, you know,
30:51
the first couple of dates is starting to get real.
30:53
That's when it's starting to get real.
30:55
But when you match with them and then they don't get back to you
30:57
right away, that's fine. Let them sit there because life
31:02
you don't know what they have going on in their lives.
31:04
You know, people get busy and so I just think women get too
31:07
invested When you match with a guy, you just thinking about it,
31:10
Oh, he hasn't gotten back to me, I'm going to unmatch.
31:12
Or, you know, you just you're holding him to a standard when
31:16
you guys need to just take it a little bit more at that point,
31:19
at that part with a grain of assault.
31:21
So there we go. That's the long winded answer of
31:23
that. But I'm glad you opened that
31:24
Pandora's box so I could answer all that.
31:27
Thank you. Hey, what you got on your mind
31:29
today? I actually have two questions if
31:32
you don't mind first. I don't mind.
31:34
OK, how long does it usually take someone to find a good
31:39
relationship or a long term relationship or husband,
31:42
preferably online. I, you know, I'm new to online
31:46
dating. This is not a great experience
31:48
so far. And I'm wondering if there's
31:49
like, you know, an end to this at some point because.
31:52
I. To be honest but I just wanted
31:55
to know what is the normal or typical like number of months or
32:00
years or whatever how long this is really supposed to take?
32:04
And then #2 is how long should you wait to for someone to
32:09
respond to you or or send you a message online before you just
32:12
unmatch? Because to be honest, I've only
32:14
been waiting two days because I just feel like if after two days
32:18
you don't like, if you're not paying attention to me, then
32:21
chances are you're paying attention to someone else.
32:23
So if that's too short, let me know.
32:25
But I just don't really have a lot of time to wait on people.
32:29
So that's. I'm glad, glad you're bringing
32:31
up all of this stuff. And you know, I you're one of my
32:33
favorite. People I really, really like
32:35
and. I'm glad you're here, first of
32:36
all. So terms of well, let me OK,
32:39
first let me I'm going to go last question 1st and then first
32:43
question last. OK, So in terms of how long
32:46
should you wait when you match? I, yes, I say listen, if you go
32:50
into my Bumble, I have them still there since from 2017.
32:54
OK, so, and I know that's a lot, but I, I just don't see.
32:58
And I, and again, they're not in there because I think, oh,
33:00
they're going to come back. I just don't Here's the thing.
33:03
And this is what I want you guys to take away.
33:06
I don't get attached. I don't even pay attention,
33:08
honestly, I don't even pay attention.
33:10
And that's what I kind of, I want you guys to stay a little
33:12
more detached in the beginning because when you get too
33:16
invested, I know I am. And I am saying this from being
33:19
a matchmaker and working with people and believe me, trying to
33:23
coordinate people's schedules for dates and try to even
33:26
coordinate schedules to like just meet with me on the phone
33:30
so I can pre qualify. Things like this sometimes takes
33:33
weeks because people have lives. But see, most of us don't,
33:39
aren't, aren't willing to see the world through other people's
33:42
eyes. We're seeing it from our limited
33:44
perspective. I fortunately have had the
33:47
benefit of seeing all of this stuff from many perspectives.
33:51
I I've seen it from where my guys are.
33:53
So all kinds of scenarios. This is what I talk about on
33:56
TikTok and all my videos rights from the real world.
33:59
So I've had scenarios where my guy was super, very excited to
34:03
go out with this girl that I was setting him up with.
34:05
And I know for a fact, because I'm behind the scenes, I know
34:08
for a fact he was like, because she was adorable in every way.
34:11
He was excited. He made the plans, he made the
34:15
reservation, but he got busy. And you know, guys aren't
34:19
nobody's perfect. You're not perfect.
34:21
Nobody's perfect. So he didn't circle back to her
34:24
and it was like the day before the date.
34:26
And in his mind, it was done. In his mind.
34:28
I don't know when he was going to let her know.
34:30
Do I think that's OK? Not really.
34:31
But he didn't mean he wasn't excited.
34:34
It didn't mean he didn't have a plan.
34:35
He had all of it. She was furious, so furious.
34:38
I had to talk her off the ledge and explain to her.
34:41
And then they went out and then it was all good.
34:45
And then I've had those guys that, you know, so who just get
34:49
busy. Like I have this one guy and
34:51
he's phenomenal and I know he really wants to meet somebody.
34:54
This girl's like, oh, he must be seeing somebody else Gina, cuz
34:57
he hasn't gotten back to me. I said, no, I know him very
34:59
well. I can tell you he is not.
35:01
But he has a son and he has, you know, 3 sports teams and he has,
35:06
you know, and, and so people get busy.
35:09
You never know what's going on in people's lives.
35:11
So let him sit there and you just keep moving forward and
35:15
doing your own thing, OK? I don't want you to get attached
35:18
to these people so early on. They have to earn it anyway.
35:21
Match with them, leave them there.
35:23
Don't even worry about it because the truth is people are
35:26
also dating people. There's nothing wrong with that
35:28
figure if they match with you. Here's another reality.
35:31
Another reality is that somebody could match with you, think
35:34
you're great, want to connect with you, but maybe that night
35:38
they have a second date with somebody.
35:41
OK, doesn't make them bad. That's normal dating.
35:44
They go on the second date that night after they had connected
35:47
with you and maybe even you guys started talking, but they go on
35:50
the second date with that person and now they like that person
35:53
more. It's their second date and
35:54
they're like, oh wow, I want to see where that goes.
35:57
And so they want to date this person a little bit before
36:00
they're going to come back and circle back to you.
36:02
All of that is perfectly fine. They don't even know you yet.
36:05
They've got a second date with somebody, so you got to just let
36:08
things stay. And let them.
36:10
Cook a little while longer and give people a little more space
36:13
and room. OK, Now in terms of in terms of
36:17
how long does it take? One thing we don't have control
36:20
over is the timing of the universe, right?
36:22
What we have control over is managing our expectations and
36:25
staying the course. I will tell you in the case of
36:29
Hushy, for example, OK, you know, I know talk about a lot,
36:32
but she kind of fits a lot of these scenarios.
36:34
So she now she's seeing that guy, but she says, Gina, you
36:39
know, I went on probably 500 dates over the course of off and
36:44
on over four or five years and until I found this guy.
36:48
But again, she wasn't like getting exhausted by dating.
36:52
She wasn't getting upset by dating.
36:54
She just knew that it's the roller coaster and she, she
36:59
would get on and off. She would date guys for a period
37:01
of time. She met a ton of great guys, but
37:04
she just, she just knew that was part of the journey.
37:08
And then and then now she's seeing this guy and it's been
37:11
over a year. I think he's buying her a house
37:12
in Beverly Hills. He's in Beverly Hills.
37:15
He has a house in Malibu and Hawaii and all these things.
37:17
But. But she said, yeah, Gene, I know
37:19
it. I probably went out with like
37:20
500 guys over the course of, you know, and she said that most of
37:24
them are great. Not all of them.
37:26
And there were disappointments, but I just stayed the course.
37:29
It's just, that's just life. There is no way to predict how
37:33
soon your person's going to show up.
37:35
But what we can control is our expectations, our mindset and
37:39
just staying on track. You know, you ladies are
37:41
fantastic. And I really, really, we want
37:44
you guys to to pre qualify these guys hard.
37:48
So just because you match with them and you're excited about
37:51
them, do not get excited until they, yeah, you know, have
37:55
really earned it. Don't even get invested.
37:57
So, you know, just manage your expectation because you're
38:00
terrific and, and just know that people do get busy and you can't
38:04
take things personally. Thank you.
38:07
Sure. Thank you.
38:08
Good, good. OK, talk to you later.
38:11
Don't forget to follow me on my socials, Instagram or TikTok
38:14
matchmaker Gina Hendricks or subscribe here so that you never
38:18
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friends. Thanks for listening.
38:22
We got another special episode for you next week.
38:28
Want to keep up with more of Gina's advice?
38:30
Follow her on TikTok and Instagram at matchmaker Gina
38:34
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38:36
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