Latest / Six Figure Certified / Coaching Skills Every Manager Needs | ICF Certified Executive Coach Laura Weldy

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Coaching Skills Every Manager Needs | ICF Certified Executive Coach Laura Weldy · Six Figure Certified

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have to acknowledge that when you're moving to leadership, you're usually moving into a new phase of your career, where you don't need to do, and in fact the quicker you can let go of the execution stuff, the quicker it will be better at your new role and your new phase.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: But that means you have to be okay with not being the expert anywhere.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you coach instead of telling your people what to do, you're honoring them as the experts in their role, and you're showing like,
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: a humility that comes with confidence of a leader.
• 0:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have to be the go-to person who tells you how to do everything.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, I'm here to help you better resource yourself.
• 0:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Managers are realizing that coaching is not just for life coaches anymore, and it is a real leadership superpower.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: So today I am sitting down with ICF certified executive coach, leadership coach, and IGC graduate Laura Weldy, who has worked with powerhouse organizations like Microsoft and UCLA.
• 0:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: and she is the real deal not only when it comes to being an amazing executive coach, but she's also come on specifically to talk to us today about how coaching skills can make great leaders.
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: So the most powerful questions that managers can ask, the data that proves that coaching is actually one of the most valuable things an organization can invest in.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: So what are you
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the show, Laura.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for having me.
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: My favorite show to come be a guest son.
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to talk about how people can manage.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: I actually feel like I need a lot of your help inside of this episode.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like I'm so excited to hear some of your responses to the questions that I've prepared.
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: But what do you think it is right now where you have found that executive coaching or leadership coaching is so in demand?
• 1:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like why should people stay watching this episode or listening to this episode?
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why now?
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think the number one problem that most companies are facing from like an internal people perspective is bandwidth, like most companies are just really struggling to get things done in a timely manner with a number of people that they have.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And because of that bandwidth stretch, most people managers in formal people management roles are not managing their people, instead they're working on
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, the other project that needs to get on I'm bringing it across the finish line and so I think now more than ever companies are looking to kind of outsource that people development to executive coaches or to leadership coaches so that they can amplify the impact of the people within their walls without feeling like they have to hire a bunch more people leaders.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: I really do believe that if you're listening to this or watching this, you are invested in improving your organization or improving your own leadership skills or perhaps you've been watching this from the angle of like, is leadership coaching or executive coaching something I would want to do.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Obviously this is all opinion, but I do like to bring in some facts and I'm obsessed with the new ICF Global Research Report, so the International Coach Federation who I know you've also worked closely with over the years.
• 3:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Their latest study found that 70% of companies using coaching reported improved individual performance and over 50% saw better team performance.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do you think those numbers reflect what you've seen?
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think the majority definitely respond really well to coaching because it is a creative and collaborative process.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And in the workplace, it treats you like an adult, right?
• 3:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're not being talked down to or being told what to do instead you're being partnered with.
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that helps people feel
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: a sense of like control and creation in their career, which is important.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: That was like the perfect segue until and to where I was hoping this conversation would go to because I really want to know from your extensive experience, like working with different organizations, huge and small, and individuals who are like moving up in their own leadership, like
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: if you could teach every leader or manager in the world three skills that they could bring into their organization like whether it's me managing a new dozen people or someone else managing thousands what would those like what are your top three skills that like any manager could implement to take on more of like a coaching role versus a do this right now kind of role.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Number one I think is
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: is ask don't assume we all make the connection of oh they're complaining about this it's probably because of this and this because we're trying to be efficient we assume what the problem is but you know as coach so often we discover that the problem is not the initial complaint and the complaint is usually a symptom of the problem so if I'm complaining about my co-worker it's easy for my boss to be like okay I'll just not put you two on projects together but
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe the bigger issue is not that coworker.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the fact that I don't feel seen in any of the product work that I'm doing and I don't know how to get noticed and network with people at a higher level.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: So ask Dona soon.
• 5:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Number one.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh good.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: I need to do that in life.
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Number two is
• 5:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: coaching to ownership.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we talked about bandwidth earlier.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Most people I need who are in a people leadership role, feel like they don't have the time to coach somebody because they have built up coaching to be this like super time intensive process, and
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: it's actually going to save you time and energy if you can coach people as your default instead of jumping into fixing problems for them.
• 5:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: So when somebody comes to you with a challenge, learn how to coach them into ownership of that challenge.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: and that way it doesn't become, you don't become the bottleneck of, okay, this is another thing I might to do this, that has to get done.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have to go in and fix this issue.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: What could that look like?
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know I'm putting you on the spot for an example, but say I was like working in a corporate environment, I don't know, I'm just making this up, it's been so long, I don't even know what that means, but and I am,
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, having a problem with another team, they're holding up all of my projects.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'm just, again, making this up.
• 6:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: But like, what would coaching to ownership look like if I was your, you know, employee or under your management?
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I was constantly complaining about other departments holding up my productivity.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of people in
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: a traditional workplace setting feel like they have to complain to get permission to act.
• 6:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: So when you're thinking about coaching to ownership, instead of, okay, I hear your complaint, like, let me go talk to them.
• 6:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it looks like what have we tried already.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: What is the long-term solution that you hope comes out of this conflict?
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: How do you think we should position this so that so and so is most receptive to this conversation so you're basically asking them the questions to create the outline of what they're going to do about it and then I think the accountability piece is
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you feel like equipped to go out there and give this a shot?
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Are you ready to go give this a shot?
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then come back and tell me how it goes.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Looking at everything you've mentioned, Laura, the three again.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Number one was asked, don't assume.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Number two, you said coaching to ownership.
• 7:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: And number three, you said coaching to awareness.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm looking at all of that from like this,
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: it's it's all coaching and I love the two ownership versus um I don't know again
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, do you shit versus awareness because it also reminds me of like you're coaching to the doing or the strategy or what that person is actually going to take ownership for and the being of like how they're showing up to the role.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we've talked about this on this podcast so many times and of course in our coaching school, but it's always both and to see true change whether it's in an individual and organization.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have to bring light to both the doing and the being and just some highlighting that for you.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sure you already knew that, but maybe our listeners didn't.
• 8:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, I never, I never like consciously made that connection, but you're right.
• 8:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is so many people want to use especially leadership or executive for only tactical conversations.
• 8:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it makes sense because we're tactical.
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: people generally, um, but when you start to push a little further into the awareness piece, that's when they realize that there's all these like connections between why they're doing something or how they're doing something in one area, how they're doing it everywhere, right?
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god, yeah.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's so interesting because I'm like,
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: All the time, if you're doing what you're quote-unquote supposed to be doing, if you're doing what has worked in the past, if you're doing the things you want to be doing, if you're doing all of the right things, but you're not getting the results that you want, you have to stop exhausting the do-do-do, and you have to start looking at who you're being, and I think that goes in every department, it goes with individuals, it goes with entire organizations, and like if you are not being the person that gets that result in some way shape or form, you have to have
• 9:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Again, on a being based level, which may sound a little airy fairy to some people, but it is the reality, and I think that obviously coaching and coaching research has really shown that it takes that multi-level impact to really change an organization.
• 9:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: if fundamentally through like the leadership lens, I think about it as motivation, like intrinsic motivation.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're not thinking about why you're doing the things that you're doing or how you want to do them differently, you become demotivated super quickly, because all you feel like is a workhorse.
• 10:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: So of course, you...
• 10:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: do you lack that like drive in that ambition?
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And reflecting a meaning and reflecting on intention and reflecting on presence is what combat that.
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's so good.
• 10:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to get into another coaching skill that I feel like might kind of be an eye opener for some managers or leaders who are not currently implementing a lot of coaching inside of their organization and maybe
• 10:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: In coaching, we say that the coach should be speaking maybe 20 to 30% of the conversation and the client or the coach would be owning 70 to 80% of the actual noise in the room, right?
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: When it comes to being a manager, what advice can you give or to be a coaching leader, whatever?
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: What advice can you give to these people, these managers, these leaders,
• 11:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: so that they can kind of sometimes keep their mouth shut a little bit more and hear more from whoever they're managing.
• 11:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Peace, which is like asking open-ended questions, not close.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even think that's obvious to everyone.
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, okay.
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, ask open-ended questions and instead of saying, did you get that thing done?
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: What did you get done this week?
• 11:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: give them the space to like talk through all of because what people choose to share when they're faced with a open-ended question is very illuminating in and of itself.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: In the fact that they will maybe highlight the thing they're struggling with and sort of showing you the things they've already done really well tells us something maybe about where they're at and about your relationship.
• 11:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: So asking open-ended
• 11:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: closing your computer and putting away your phone.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: So many people I talk to, they feel like their managers just answering emails as they're having a conversation and they don't really feel like heard and seen.
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: So they're not going to open up.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to give you really quick answers.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: The other piece of active listening is like reframing, right?
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: So reframing and rephrasing and reflecting all the rewards that are coaching specific, but in coach training with IGC, we talked about how reflection is where you essentially mirror back to somebody, what they've already said.
• 12:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you repeat their exact words and reframing is where
• 12:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: You are using your own words to interpret what they're saying in a slightly more clear way.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 12:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so a lot of the coaching and good at Microsoft, for example, was around communications coaching and so that was a technique we talked about a lot was that if you want somebody to feel truly heard stick with the reflection.
• 13:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: because if you go in with a reframe right away to prove you understood them, there's a chance that you misinterpret or that they feel like you were only listening to respond to them.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, so yeah, I like that idea of like stick with reflection and then once you get to the end maybe,
• 13:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: if you want to ask them like if you want to summarize what they said and make sure you haven't missed anything then you would do more of a reframed.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: So good.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: You kicked off this episode by saying one of the main reasons anyone especially organizations and humans inside of organizations need coaching right now is because of bandwidth.
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you are right there have been so many times that I am half focused here, half focused there and again, it's one of those things where it's like the email can wait the text can wait the scrolling or whatever you're doing the background can wait and it may feel like you're not getting as much done at the time, but I do believe genuinely speaking that you are slowing down a little bit, but it's like, come on five wonderful fully engaged minutes be 15 minutes of being like, wait, what did you say?
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can you say that again?
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I'm also guilty of this.
• 14:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I tell people all the time.
• 14:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like this is why coaching has popped off in the last like five to ten years because attention, I truly believe true, true attention is the currency of the future.
• 14:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you know,
• 14:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right, you're getting it less frequently from your friends, from your family, from unless you're hiring somebody to give you attention, which maybe sounds weird, but that's what coaching is that it's core is like, we're asking somebody to like, just like we would with a therapist, right, with coaching with leadership coaching specifically, we're asking somebody to look at us and to see the whole picture of what we're doing and to help us figure out.
• 14:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: what we could be doing differently.
• 15:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: And nobody's doing that, just like naturally or casually.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, and nothing costs more than employee turnover, really.
• 15:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: So it's worth it to invest your time and potentially money, of course, if you're going to bring a coach into your organization or hire Laura to develop your own leadership as a coaching manager, coaching leader.
• 15:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: all of that is much a much better use of your time money and energy than it is to constantly be rehiring.
• 15:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: So one more question I think who knows it could be a couple more, but what is one question that you think anyone in a management or working with people position could ask in their next like one on one?
• 15:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: So like I know people, you meet with your employees, one on one here and there.
• 15:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: But like what is a great coaching question that at any level or any size organization, anyone could use?
• 15:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Another one I put down the spot, didn't prepare you.
• 16:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's okay.
• 16:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I, my initial thought is just how can I help you this week most effectively?
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: because I think that gives them the space to say like I need more visibility if it's more of a they want exposure to higher level leaders.
• 16:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: It also gives them the option to pick something very tactical and it kind of opens up the space for a micro coaching conversation because if you say how can I help you most effectively this week and they say, oh well you like read over this email
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why are you not trusting yourself to send these messages or what's like the bigger challenge with this project, you know, so it's just being a coaching request.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm yeah, this is amazing.
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, this is amazing.
• 16:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm also going to link a video if you're watching this on YouTube.
• 16:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to link a video that walks through an entire coaching session because I think it's going to speak even more to what Laura is talking to, but what she's saying really in terms of this is like kind of getting their coaching request or their support request for the week.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: and then the follow-up question to that being like, what is this really about or how does this request play into like the bigger picture of what we're working on this week or however often you meet with your team?
• 17:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just having a lot of breakthroughs in this call with you.
• 17:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Good.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're so smart.
• 17:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Laura is so, so smart.
• 17:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I've always thought that and every time I talk to you, I'm like, I feel like you just do such a good job of taking sometimes seemingly heavy or complex issues, especially in the workplace.
• 17:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: And saying like, it's actually not that hard.
• 17:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And all you really need to do is ask better questions.
• 17:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Listen better.
• 17:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think this is going to be a really refreshing episode for anyone listening to this who may be at an empath with a team member or not really sure how to grow in their own leadership.
• 18:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And some of it is just committing to these simple daily or weekly ways of communicating better.
• 18:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, wait, I have one thing to add before we wrap up.
• 18:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 18:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: I would, yes, many things.
• 18:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is there anything I noticed when I was thinking about coaching and just a relationship to being a people leader and being a manager?
• 18:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is that,
• 18:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: you have to take yourself out of the expert role, which we talk about, again, in coach training, we talk all the time about how you're not the expert, they are the expert of their lives, and that can be kind of challenging, especially for people who are new to coaching because they feel like they have to kind of prove themselves as, I'm really good at this, and so you should come to these sessions and work with me.
• 18:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: But the same thing goes for managers.
• 18:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of times people get promoted because they're really good at the execution side of things and they get promoted out of execution into management.
• 19:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then they feel like they have to hold that title of being really good still at execution.
• 19:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, you have to acknowledge that when you move into leadership, you're usually moving into a new phase of your career, where you don't need to do.
• 19:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: And in fact, the quicker you can like go of the execution stuff, the quicker you'll be better at your new role and your new phase.
• 19:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: But that means you have to be okay with not being the expert anymore.
• 19:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Instead of telling your people what to do, you're honoring them as the experts in their role, and you're showing the humility that comes with confidence of the leader.
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have to be the go-to person who tells you how to do everything.
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, I'm here to help you better resource yourself.
• 19:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Wow, that I mean, you, thank you for adding that.
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: And of course, I'm like, you could tell me 10 million more things.
• 20:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: We all, we want to have this have your brain forever, but I think you made so many good points.
• 20:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I feel like a lot of this is not so it's not inaccessible to the everyday leader.
• 20:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like I'm set at the beginning, whether you managing a team of two or two hundred implementing these.
• 20:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: coaching skills can absolutely change things.
• 20:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I'm at such an advantage managing our team because I'm trained as a coach, but also I absolutely a thousand percent needed this refresher, and especially what you said at the end, like how many times am I hired, like the top person who's like the amazing executor and I'm like, you're a manager now.
• 20:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: And they're like, right?
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my gosh, so many good things in here.
• 20:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: I am going to link all of Laura's information below.
• 20:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Laura, do you have something like if someone is trying to uplevel their leadership right now, like what can they do after this episode?
• 20:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 20:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: If they go to my website, I have a free guide called the High Poep Path, the High Potential Path, which is basically a
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: 7 or 8 step process to change the way that you're positioning yourself at work so that other people see you for the potential that you have in the future.
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I would recommend going and grabbing that and it's great.
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Amazing.
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: we will make sure that that is linked everywhere, Laura's website, Laura's podcast, Laura's socials, so feel free to reach out to her.
• 21:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you are watching this from the angle of wanting to become an executive coach or leadership coach, we're also gonna link a free workshop from IGC coaching school called GetPaidToCoach that really helps you nail down your niche, figure out what kind of offer you would have and a hopelessening to Laura and getting inspired by her expertise and her excellence at coaching and also her resume.
• 21:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: fuels that fire inside of you to be a change maker and Laura it's been a pleasure as always.
• 21:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for being here.
• 21:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love chatting with you anytime.
• 22:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.