Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #146: Temporal Disintegration and Dinner Parties

Transcript

Happy Hour #146: Temporal Disintegration and Dinner Parties · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I never told you a protection of iHeartRadio, and welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to another edition of Happy Hour. As always, if you
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: are choosing to drink or whatever you're choosing to do,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: please do so responsibly. Samantha, are you sipping on anything?
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna drink all my sparkling strawberry watermelon water smuthful,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: very delicious, very refreshing, and very bubbly.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Nice. Nice. I am drinking at my light beer. I
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: have a friend who brings this for me when she
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: comes to hangover, hang out, hangover. And she had her
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: boyfriend get it. And in the tradition of and I
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: say this with love in my heart. Oh, boyfriends, not
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: understand any what you're asking for. He got glass bottles.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: So I haven't had beer out of a glass bottle.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I like how you started that sent It's softer.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: She told him. Anyway, it doesn't matter, it's fine. I
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: just haven't had beer out of a glass bottle in
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: a long time. And because I broke my tooth on
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: a weight, not on a beer bottle, by the way,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: several years ago. Yeah, I dropped a weight on my face. Yeah.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Wow mm hmm hurt. Like hell, that's a nightmare. I
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: don't like to drink out of glass anymore. I'm just
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: worried I'll break my replacement tooth. Yeah yeah, but it's beer.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna drink it and I'll be careful.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Do you not want to put it in the glass.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I'm worried about glasses too. I prefer like, do you.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Need me to get you a sippy cup for beer?
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: You got my sippy cup for wine.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: I know they found you a sippy cup for beer. Okay,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I got a mission, y'all.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I'm just really like that experience because I broke my
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: tooth on Easter.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Everything was closed and I was in Salanga where yeah,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: where I'm from, and it's small town. Everybody was over
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: because it was Easter, and so I had to walk
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: downstairs with my front tooth broken and be asked everyone
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: to move their cars so I could go to an
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: emergency dentist like forty minutes away.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: See, I have broken my teeth. Well, no, not broken
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: my teeth, I have. I have broken my teeth. I
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: have broken teeth now, but I've also lost caps because
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: I have some of the worst teeth ever, like honestly,
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: growing up, I had tap go to specialists because my
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: teeth were so bad orphanage kid, you know. And but
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: like I we is, wait, I've never done an emergency.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I don't think I even thought that was an option.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: For some rodd reason, they didn't speak English. They only
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: spoke Russian. Okay, that all right, And I'd never gotten anything,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: like I never had a cavity or anything. So they
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: were like they got this big needle and they're like yes,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: oh god, I don't know.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: So they're trying to tell how much sedation and like,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: oh wow, to be fair, like the whole breaking on glass,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I get that because I definitely hurt myself. I'm like, oh,
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: like on hard surfaces in general, if I'm like eating
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: something wrong like forks even, like so that's that's legitimate.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not I'm not kicking on that, Like that's
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: definitely think I've done that. I'm like, I've hurt myself
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: pretty hard with straws.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, like the metal straws, yeah, and just other plastic straws. Wow,
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: I don't do many orphices anywhere. Keep going, oh my goodness,
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: me accidentally sure has gotten off.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: I'm fine it's fine. Everything's just fine here. Yeah, let's
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: be Thanksgiving.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Everyone guess because this is coming out on Thanksgiving. And
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I had like a million different ideas I wanted to
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: talk about. One of them was my most infamous Thanksgivings,
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: but I have decided not to do that. One of
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: the things I did want to discuss, there was something
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: you and I were talking about, Samantha, that I have
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: been experiencing a lot. Is what I've learned is called
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: temporal disintegration. It means you don't know what day it is,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: you don't know what time it is.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: We've been talking about this a lot.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: We have, and apparently I knew this was true, but
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: apparently it became a big topic of conversation during COVID,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: during like lockdown, people staying home more. They didn't have
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: these like maybe you had a weekly trivia night or something.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: They didn't have those things that told them what the
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: day was. Also, it gets worse with trauma or stress.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: So during a pandemic got worse. A lot of us
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: moved online, like we were doing a lot of stuff online.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: That was where we maybe found our hobby or the
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: distraction or whatever it is. And I would say for us,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: specifically the nature of our jobs. I work on the
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: weekend a lot, and I'm not necessarily supposed to. We
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: just have very flexible schedules, so I don't I've literally
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: woken up and had no idea. Right, it could be Wednesday,
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: it could be Saturday. I don't know, and I feel
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: like it's gotten a lot worse for me lately, and
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: this with all the holidays coming up, it's been interesting
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: because it's like, oh my god, that's tomorrow.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh no, girl, did I I don't mention to
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: you how I was in one of my dance classes,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: slash stuff, and a co dance friend of mine was
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: like we were trying to debate when Thanksgiving was and
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: white people weren't there, and I was like, yeah, Thanksgiving
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: is next week. She's like, no, it two weeks. I
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: was like, no, no, it was next week, and the
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: like we had to battle it out and like you
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: could see throughout the next like routine. Both of us
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: were calculating who was right because we were both panicking
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: to figure out which one, which day was because which
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: week was actually Thanksgiving? Bt dubs. I was right.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Didn't she leave?
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: She lived?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: She left early in a panic was like, oh my god,
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: oh my god, I have less than a week, so.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to remind a friend who
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: was like, can I come over that that day? And
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, no, I would be home. She's
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: like what why? Oh my god. So I think we
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: are all struggling with it. I think especially people who
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: women and marginalize, people who are really impacted by selection
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: are struggling with it. But I've had it really bad,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: and it's been strange to me because I am I've
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: said it before, I am really good with dates and times.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I have a great memory for this. It's one of
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: the reasons I have so many traditions is that for me,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like I can mark the passage of time.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: So this has been kind of a disconcerting revolution for
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: me where I literally could not tell you. A couple
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: days ago, I woke up and it was Sunday and
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I thought it was Tuesday, Like I just don't know,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know. But it also like the nature of
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: our jobs is sometimes recordings move, so that used to
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: help me too, is like I know it's Tuesday because
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: we record on this day, or I know, but it
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: can be wildly over the plate all over the place.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: So I feel like I've just I've lost a lot
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: of my like structures that I have right right, don't
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: know anymore.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I have completely become dependent on my phone, my cell
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: phone to figure out the times and when we have
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: like daylight saving time or all that.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: I don't trust it and.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Have to go around looking everywhere and look at my
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: like stationary clocks to see if that, you know, because
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know if it's actually true, and it freaks
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: me out because of the automatically dates. So for a
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: good day, I don't believe my phone, which throws me
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: off even more.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been noticing that too. Is that again? I
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: never used to really have this problem before, but I
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: think because I'm staying in way more than I used
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: to stay in because it gets dark so early, it
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: just feels like the days lead together to me. So
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, did I do yesterday? I
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: can't remember. That's another part of temporal disintegration, though, is
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: that you can't You have more of a struggle remembering
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: what happened the previous day than if you weren't dealing
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: with it, which I have noticed as well, where I
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: have to, like every morning, I try to remind myself,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: what did you do yesterday? Right this this, I.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Like give up because like it's kind of like when
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: we're in the middle of recording and I'm like, did
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: we clap, which for listeners, I'll peek behind the card,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: and I really forgot, like one of the ways we
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: sink our audio is clapping and both of us count
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: down and then clap and then to the introduction. Most
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: of the time, by the time we're ten minutes into
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: an episode, five min this into an episode, I'm like,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: did we do this? And I'm having to really think
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: straight and hard, and i still can't fully remember if
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: we actually did that. And I've questioned it a few times.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: I've questioned it enough times that I'm like, Samantha, you've
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: lost your mind.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Stop talking well, And that's I mean, that's the other
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: thing that was, like, we've been doing this in our
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: apartment or your house for four years now, and it's
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: like every time we do it, so it just feels
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: very repetitive, so you're not necessarily taking it in when
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: you do it. But I've gotten the same way too.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: And it's also interesting because I've noticed it with friends
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: who are experiencing two pooral disintegration where they'll text me something.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I swear you already texted me this. Am
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: I losing my mind? Or are you losing your mind?
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: And then I'll look back through the text I'm like, yes,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: a month ago. Oh you texted me this a month ago.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: That's rude because you can't remember.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: You can't expect me to remember something. It wasn't you,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: How dare you? It was just so funny because like
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: this happened like two days ago. I swear we've already
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: had this exact conversation we had. So if anyone is
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: feeling this, you are not alone. I am feeling it
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: very strongly right now. And usually I've talked about this
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: before in my like tradition episodes. Like I said, usually
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty good at like I know this is coming
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: and this is coming, and this is coming, but I'm
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: going through it right now. Listeners, the stress has got me.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I was trying to come up with a topic for
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: this episode that wasn't too serious because everything I was
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: thinking about was like not now, none soon, but not
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: now right. And what of the topics I came up
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: with was the rise of dinner party horror movies, and
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I actually found a really interesting article about it. It
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: was linking it to the pandemic. Once again, these have
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: always been around, like they're not new, But it was
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: linking the fear the like more fear we have these
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: hangouts of these dinner parties to the pandemic in terms
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: of a lot of us still don't. We feel like
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: we don't know how to be anymore. We don't know
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: how to do the small talk in a way that's
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: not really awkward if we ever could, but now we
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: really feel like we can't. We don't know how to
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: hang out anymore. I actually found a whole book that
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I want to read about, like the power of hanging
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: out and why it's bad that none of us can
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: do it anymore. But that's a really simplification of the book. Yes,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: but I was interested by it because I definitely have
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: experienced it. But it was also the article was also
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: talking about, like the author was really interested in how
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: I think the number was fifty percent fifteen percent of
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: the people she interviewed were dreading like celebrations that should
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: be fun. I'm not even talking about your like family
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: ones that a lot of us dread, but like I've
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: talked about, like the ones that should be fun and
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: viewing them as obligations and just being so anxious about them.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: But also I was thinking about food in horror movies
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: and how a lot of times it's used to represent
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: consuming women, because women are, like in advertising especially frequently
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: represented as something to be consumed. And we do have
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: a suggested horror movie coming up that we're going to
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: talk about that is that is about that at least
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: in part, So look forward to that and I want
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: to talk about that. Oh, if you're like me, then
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: you're like, yes, But I'm sure some of you are like,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: oh no, talking about dread. I mean it, it's not
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: for you. It's not for you. I've been kind of
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: thinking about I know we've talked about this before, but
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: on the show Thirteen Days of Halloween. Most of the
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: things that I've written for that have been food related
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: in some way. And the first one I did, which
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: was called I called Red Velvet but in the show
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: is called something Else. It was about I wrote it
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: in high school and it was about a really bad
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: experience I had at the gynecologist and me the character
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: dealing with what she was feeling and wondering if her
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: mom felt the same way. I feel like that's if
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: you listen to it on service level, you won't get that,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: but it's there, and now with everything going on with
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: abortion and stuff, I'm like, I kind of want to
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: revisit it and maybe we can play it on here.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: But it was also about like the horror of food.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: So happy, I hope you had a great meal.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: I mean, I wonder if part of this is because
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: I people have been talking a lot about friendsgiving, which
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: is a huge phenomenon to the point that like uh,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: industries and corporations one in on it, are trying to
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: bank on it and try to make money off of it,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: and like I have seen recently about a lot of
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: people even using this as yes, a horror trope, but
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: also as a like horror of being left out of it,
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: which by the way, I have not been invited to
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: a one, and then the last few years it's dwindled
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: down already, so I'm feeling some type of way at
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: the same time, I don't want to be invited because
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: I don't want to come out, or it's one of
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: those things, but all those things like it brings dread
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: in every form, whether you are invited, you're not invited,
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: you are hosting, or you're bringing food.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: There's so much yes. And I was looking at I found,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: of course, I found my top ten list of the
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: best dinner horror dinner party horror movies. And I mean
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: they all make the point. It's pretty obvious. But it's like,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: you go to this event, you're kind of trapped in it,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: uh for a couple hours, and there's usually power dynamics,
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: a relationship dynamics or something like so maybe somebody starts
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: to fight, or like maybe these two don't get along.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Like there's just a lot of volatility.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: We had one time, like one friends getting I missed
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: out in which of someone's partner which nobody really knew,
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: decided he needed to do a giant prayer to a
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: bunch of atheists. Yes, and that was the story I heard.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I was like, what, I'm kind of said, I missed this.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I'm kind of glad I didn't, because I think I
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: would have probably made it worse. But because my face
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: can't hide the initial but I'm not prepared for something
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: like if I didn't know this was coming, my face
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: and my immediately be like, what the fuck would have
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: come out of my mouth? I think, But at the
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: same time, I'm like, I love seeing drama as long
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: as I'm not part of the drama.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: But yeah, stuff like that.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, well it's interesting to me how Like
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: there's the horror aspect and then there's the super awkward
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: comedy aspect of dinner parties. The office episode comes to
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: my infamous and today I was watching the newest episode
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: of What We Do in the Shadows, which Sex and
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: the City plays a large part of it. By the way, Yes,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: and it was a dinner party that I was like,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: oh oh, so clearly it feels like a risk. You're like,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I hope this. I hope nothing awful and awkward happens
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: at this party, even if it's your friends. Yeah, yeah,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I guess so, I guess that's true. Well, I hope
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: everyone's doing it about as well as they can be
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: right now. I hope you had some food or you're
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: getting some good relaxation or whatever, at least taking care of.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Yourself delicious dessert or good.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Drinks, one of the two both.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yes, we are grateful for you, thank you
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: for being here. If you have any recipes you want
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: to share, because I almost made this a recipe episode
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: as well. Any dinner party ORR but you want to
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: share or any thoughts about temporal disintegration.
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: All the grab bad topics here, let us go, yeah, yeah, yes,
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: please let us know good An emails at Stephanie your Mom,
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: stephaniehartmeea dot com.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom podcast, Aren't
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: It's and TikTok at stuff one Never Told You for
• 20:02
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• 20:03
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• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Thanks as always to our super producer Christina, our executive
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: producer Maya, and your contributor Joey. Hey you, and thanks
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: to you for listening. Stuff Never Told You is production
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