Latest / Talk Shit Or Get Off The Pod / Episode 182: Hot Saucy Boy Summer

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Episode 182: Hot Saucy Boy Summer · Talk Shit Or Get Off The Pod

• 0:00
  What's going on everybody? You're watching talk shit or get
• 0:02
  off the pod. The show with questions that
• 0:05
  heat up as fast as the wings. Today we're flipping the script.
• 0:09
  Joining me in the hot seat is my Co host, my Co conspirator, the
• 0:14
  man who once said mild sauce is for cowards and now has put his
• 0:20
  taste buds up to his mouth to where his mouth is.
• 0:22
  It's Joseph Huggins AKA Old Man Huggy.
• 0:29
  Today we're taking on a gauntlet of 10 sauces from the fire
• 0:32
  breathing legends over at Melinda's Hot Sauce.
• 0:36
  That's Melinda's Hot Sauce who has provided 10 bottles of
• 0:41
  different hot sauces for me and Joseph to tackle Melinda's
• 0:45
  mayhem. Joseph, Are you ready to feel
• 0:48
  your soul leave your body, one wing at a time?
• 0:53
  Yeah, I'm ready. I don't put my taste buds where
• 0:55
  my mouth is that like, yeah. Well, listen bud, I mean Justin
• 1:01
  was hitting me with what kind of interview is it going to is
• 1:03
  this? Going to I didn't know I didn't
• 1:05
  know I. Have top ones.
• 1:06
  This is like, this is like 2 hours before we're supposed to
• 1:09
  record. OK, back back to the show.
• 1:13
  It's time to grab your milk, say goodbye to your taste buds and
• 1:18
  let's dive in. This is hot takes with a side of
• 1:22
  pain, from tangy and tame to why did we do this to ourselves?
• 1:28
  We're going deep not just on Scoville units, but on life,
• 1:34
  regrets, conspiracy theories, childhood trauma and everything
• 1:39
  in between. Just a first first wing.
• 1:45
  I've got them in order here. I chose that.
• 1:48
  The pizza hot sauce wing. This is from Melinda's One
• 1:51
  Second Adjust my. There we go.
• 2:03
  OK, pizza, Pizza Hut sauce. It's got a one out of the five
• 2:09
  ratings here. Joseph, do you have wings?
• 2:13
  Yeah, well, boneless wings, but yeah, boneless.
• 2:16
  Wings. OK, that works.
• 2:21
  All right, Joseph. Cheers.
• 2:24
  Cheers Sir. OK, Joseph, I did some digging
• 2:32
  for the first question. Is it true that you once had a
• 2:36
  touchdown dance called the chicken wing?
• 2:39
  And if So, what was going on through your head at the time of
• 2:43
  celebration it? Wasn't chicken wing, oh, chicken
• 2:51
  thighs. I don't know.
• 2:55
  I was just. I think I was just talking shit.
• 2:59
  I think about it like I. Well I mean it is a touchdown.
• 3:03
  Dance 1 is usually talking shit during that celebration.
• 3:07
  I'm. Yeah, it was mostly practice.
• 3:09
  It was mostly, it was mostly a practice.
• 3:11
  I think we were dicking around and I score a touchdown.
• 3:14
  Practice. I just said something stupid.
• 3:16
  I was always doing something dumb to antagonize the people of
• 3:20
  authority around me in any way, shape or form.
• 3:23
  And especially if I got a laugh, it was always great.
• 3:26
  And that just became something that stuck for a while.
• 3:29
  Do you think I was coming up with like, do you take?
• 3:30
  Pride in your thighs. Yeah, I think that's, yeah,
• 3:33
  they're all right. You know, they're not bad.
• 3:36
  Chicken thighs because it because it was the dark meat.
• 3:39
  No, I think it was just because it was like so absurd and random
• 3:42
  that it would be, you know, because, I mean, chicken is
• 3:46
  chicken is is chicken thighs dark meat?
• 3:48
  I guess it is, yeah. What do you mean?
• 3:51
  So I mean, you know, I'm just. Like, oh, we're about to pull
• 3:53
  your card, man. No, you know what?
• 3:58
  I actually, I actually remember just to break the 4th wall,
• 4:03
  Joseph and I grew up. I I thought like the chicken
• 4:06
  thigh dance was like something more explicit.
• 4:08
  But then like coach called us out and was like, what?
• 4:11
  What's that dance? Oh, no, maybe that was rolling
• 4:13
  the dice. Oh, we were a jerk.
• 4:14
  Yeah, it was rolling the jerk. Yeah.
• 4:16
  We were doing a Turk motion and I was like, we're doing a new
• 4:21
  touchdown dance, boss, we're doing rolling the dice.
• 4:23
  He's like, oh, cool. But really, we were doing this
• 4:25
  like, can't fuck yourself catch like.
• 4:28
  Yeah, I remember. I remember rolling the dice.
• 4:30
  But I think that one up together with and.
• 4:34
  Then that just continued to then like we would actually do like
• 4:37
  an exaggerated, like roll the dice on the ground.
• 4:41
  It became like its own thing because of the coach.
• 4:43
  It was like a meme within a meme.
• 4:46
  It was pretty good. And we were actually rolling
• 4:48
  dice like in a school, like, you know.
• 4:50
  But I remember goofy shit like you running us, running a Turkey
• 4:56
  Trot, and at one point I think you hid in the storm drain.
• 5:01
  Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 5:03
  Because there's like it was so there was the, the junior high
• 5:07
  or whatever they are. Then that became the high
• 5:10
  school. Who knows what the?
• 5:11
  Fuck, they got now it would be professional grade practice
• 5:14
  field stadium that we had, and it wasn't even for like the
• 5:18
  actual high school. Just having myself at the time,
• 5:21
  yeah. Yeah, you would like have to do
• 5:23
  this thing where you ran down and down this huge hill around a
• 5:26
  football field, down this mega hill all the way around the
• 5:29
  soccer field, like back up the hill, then around.
• 5:34
  Yeah, it was like some stupid shit.
• 5:36
  And the tryhards always like took off and would like try to
• 5:39
  run hella fast and stay up front.
• 5:42
  And I was just like. And then a lot of times they,
• 5:44
  because the coaches said there was too big for them to keep up
• 5:48
  with us, they drive around that Gator and they'd like pop up and
• 5:51
  watch us run when they weren't looking.
• 5:53
  We would like Sprint short ways across the entire soccer field.
• 5:57
  And there was one time you were you got I'm I'm proud I was, I
• 6:01
  was there. You got caught hiding in a storm
• 6:03
  drain. 100 We we decided that we were going to make a move and we
• 6:09
  did it at the exact wrong time like that.
• 6:11
  Like one of the coaches or a couple of the coaches had just
• 6:13
  like pulled up at the top of the hill right as we decided to run.
• 6:16
  And when he's a storm drain, it's like at the side of the
• 6:19
  hill, it's like a massive like concrete like like thing built
• 6:22
  into like this like, you know, to like drain water probably
• 6:25
  from. The yeah they were run off
• 6:26
  channels. Yeah, yeah.
• 6:27
  So we were just like hiding. It was like just like kind of
• 6:29
  like going to the next thing. Like if you're like in battle,
• 6:32
  you know, it's like boom, we can hide over here.
• 6:34
  How'd we got there without like them seeing us run to it?
• 6:37
  We could have hit right there for a SEC and then move kept
• 6:40
  moving forward, you know what I'm saying?
• 6:42
  But no, yeah, that was bad. So then we had the the like.
• 6:47
  I was like, I think I. Was like, you're right.
• 6:50
  I was within like 10 or 15 feet and as we all, because we all
• 6:54
  cut across the field and then you ducked in there and I was
• 6:57
  like what? And Coach Craft was.
• 6:58
  Like what rain? Like he like he like grabbed you
• 7:01
  by the short collar. I was like, damn, I was like me.
• 7:03
  And my two other dude I think like Patrick might have been
• 7:06
  involved. Art PD OK.
• 7:09
  Probably goes. Great first question.
• 7:12
  Also great first hot sauce. Pizza hot sauce.
• 7:14
  You didn't know you needed a hot sauce specifically for pizza?
• 7:19
  Melinda brought it to you and it's not that spicy.
• 7:25
  Thai sweet chili sauce by Melendez.
• 7:28
  This one also has a Scoville of I mean, it doesn't like, we
• 7:31
  don't know the actual units on the leaves.
• 7:33
  I didn't get that research, but there is a rating of five
• 7:38
  flames. The first one was a one out of
• 7:41
  five. This is also a one out of five
• 7:43
  Thai sweet chili sauce. Question #2 Joseph, if your life
• 7:51
  had a warning label like a hot sauce bottle, what would it say
• 7:55
  and why? Warning, warning.
• 8:14
  We're pretty good, by the way. The question or the OR the.
• 8:18
  Hot sauce, well both the hot sauce is good morning might get
• 8:25
  on your nerves, maybe like I might get on your nerves or
• 8:28
  might might be too much all the time.
• 8:31
  You think of yourself as too much or is somebody might you
• 8:33
  might come across that way. Yeah.
• 8:35
  Oh, definitely more than anything else.
• 8:38
  Maybe. Probably.
• 8:40
  I mean, I'm pretty on it all the time, whether it be like work or
• 8:45
  whatever I'm doing. I mean even right now I'm like
• 8:48
  fixing up the house I bought and I've been like, I'll send you
• 8:51
  pictures. The amount of yard work I do on
• 8:53
  my days off is just like insane where I'm always doing
• 8:55
  something, thinking about something.
• 8:57
  I'm really ADHD, or at least I was when I was younger.
• 9:01
  And I've been able to like kind of harness it and I can hyper
• 9:04
  focus on stuff and knock some shit out.
• 9:07
  So I'm always trying to come up with something, do something,
• 9:10
  create something, do something different that has nothing to do
• 9:15
  with my day-to-day. And I like my day-to-day because
• 9:18
  it has it's 1000 little problems all the time, every day they're
• 9:24
  ever the same. So I it's almost like critical
• 9:26
  thinking skills constantly, which I so.
• 9:28
  Well, what? So what is what is your warning
• 9:30
  label like? Do you see how small these
• 9:32
  bottles are? What's the label though?
• 9:34
  Caution, Joseph is. Too much.
• 9:37
  All right, mine would say. Mine would say, not that anybody
• 9:41
  asked, but it would say caution. Extreme big big Dick energy with
• 9:50
  empathy. No, here's what's here.
• 9:56
  Well, we would say. This is a if in a job interview
• 9:59
  you got to flip it to a positive irrational confidence, we would.
• 10:01
  Say warning. Here's to say warning.
• 10:05
  Rational confidence, that's what he was.
• 10:09
  Saying that he thinks he's going to back up 100% of the time
• 10:14
  because what? That's just the definition of
• 10:16
  irrational confidence. It's better than no confidence,
• 10:21
  I'll tell you that. True.
• 10:23
  That is true. All right, on to the next hot
• 10:26
  sauce #3. And we're just like the show our
• 10:30
  boy Shawnee Evans does. We're building up in Scoville
• 10:35
  units, even though we don't know the actual units.
• 10:38
  I should. You know what, I'll throw it in
• 10:39
  the show notes. I'll put all the the information
• 10:42
  there. Scoville units, anything you
• 10:45
  need. I do anything for my Linda.
• 10:50
  It only took like what, 10 minutes before I got
• 10:54
  inappropriate with the branding. That's true.
• 10:58
  And for and for anybody who's paying attention, not a paid
• 11:02
  promotion, not a pay promotion. OK.
• 11:11
  Yeah. This one was called Louisiana
• 11:13
  Red cayenne hot sauce. This is the final, I believe,
• 11:19
  one. No, there's one more. 1 is a
• 11:21
  green sauce, also very tasty. So yeah, all these three, like,
• 11:26
  I'd say, like everyday sauces you could throw it on, like the
• 11:29
  pizza sauce. Can you know anything you would
• 11:31
  think about like throwing Tabasco on for Tapatia?
• 11:36
  Well, yeah, and it's like a Sriracha consistency, but it's
• 11:41
  like crushed red pepper. So like sometimes you'd end up
• 11:43
  putting crushed red pepper on your pizza, then also doing like
• 11:47
  Tapatia. You could just do that instead.
• 11:50
  Can I show you this is real? When I decided to get ready I
• 11:53
  was running late so I took a shower like like less than an
• 11:56
  hour before we were supposed to record and then we had audio
• 11:59
  issues but I decided this I could wear.
• 12:03
  All white. And then I'm like, I get out of
• 12:07
  the shower. I'm putting it on.
• 12:08
  I'm like, what? What psychopath is like setting
• 12:13
  up wings to eat various hot sauces on camera live stream and
• 12:18
  thought like, you know, I don't even wear all white like this,
• 12:21
  like Gabe, you know what I'm saying?
• 12:22
  It was I don't think you can anymore.
• 12:24
  Like after you know what's going.
• 12:25
  On I thought you did it on break.
• 12:26
  With Diddy. I thought you did it on purpose,
• 12:29
  like you wore all white. I was like, Dang, dude, he's
• 12:32
  just sitting in his head. I was going to like, be like,
• 12:34
  yeah, like flex with it. Be like, this is how like clean
• 12:37
  I am. I'll do a Hot Ones episode in
• 12:39
  all white. But no, I just wanted to be real
• 12:42
  and like I subconsciously chose probably the worst outfit that
• 12:47
  you could if you're thinking practically.
• 12:50
  Well, I Full disclosure, I was like, I'll just wear my
• 12:54
  undershirt from work today because like whatever.
• 12:57
  Well, like because I wear, I'll wear like a different shirt
• 12:59
  every day. I wear a coat all the time.
• 13:02
  So I have like an extra shirt on or whatever I describe one for
• 13:05
  the day and it was a white shirt and I was like, now that's
• 13:08
  crazy. So I didn't.
• 13:09
  I changed it in my my North Korean Gucci Mane.
• 13:13
  Yeah, To me, it was like the first option and never looked
• 13:19
  back until I was putting it on and we had 20 minutes to go.
• 13:24
  All right, moving on to the fourth sauce.
• 13:28
  So this is the final one of the one flame rating, and it's a
• 13:32
  green sauce. This one has a spicy condiment
• 13:36
  of green tomatoes, jalapenos, spinach, cilantro and garlic.
• 13:43
  That sounds good, actually. What do you think about the heat
• 13:47
  so far? Nothing.
• 13:48
  No, no, I don't go DJ Khaled on this bro.
• 14:03
  That's good. The green sauce.
• 14:05
  Yeah, it's pretty good. The spinach made me be like, oh,
• 14:08
  I thought I don't like spinach. That's just, you know, But it's
• 14:12
  good. It's good green sauce.
• 14:14
  It's got a little. Kick to it.
• 14:15
  I feel like it's probably more for consistency than it is maybe
• 14:19
  like or like. No, yeah.
• 14:22
  But just for me, I'm just like, like if someone's like kale, I'm
• 14:26
  like, and it could be really good.
• 14:27
  And I'm like, oh, that's good. Don't throw spinach.
• 14:29
  Don't throw spinach in the with the kale dude.
• 14:31
  Like kale's like like some, you know, like poser dude who like,
• 14:35
  you know, some fruit booter. You didn't say that anymore, but
• 14:41
  you know what I'm saying? Like trying to be spinach and
• 14:44
  then like. Trying to make trying to come up
• 14:46
  on spinach. That'll make sense.
• 14:47
  Yeah, It's like, yeah, yeah. I mean, I respect that you're a
• 14:49
  garnish trying to do big things like, you know, but.
• 14:54
  You're a bitter, A bitter leaf trying to break out.
• 14:58
  I mean, you know, it's just like you're con talking about like
• 15:01
  how Beyoncé has the best video when Taylor Swift, you know,
• 15:03
  crushing. Yeah, that's true.
• 15:06
  And like, look, yeah, look how that played out.
• 15:08
  They both crushed, but Taylor Swift crushes a little bit more.
• 15:13
  I mean, I think Kanye West is like crushing most in life back.
• 15:16
  Then I mean I guess. The peak of his powers right now
• 15:18
  like. Yeah, I guess.
• 15:20
  I don't know what those powers are, but something.
• 15:24
  He has really, like, pushed the limits of things that I think I
• 15:29
  thought people would, could and would do Like, yeah, he's like.
• 15:34
  He's like a weird. You could say that about him.
• 15:37
  You like like Elon Musk type like you did.
• 15:40
  No, hold on. No, I'm not saying that they're
• 15:41
  the same, but what I'm saying is if you were to put like them in
• 15:44
  a class of people, they would be in the same room.
• 15:47
  Because they have Slattery issues, they're like, they're
• 15:50
  like heading in support groups with bladder issues.
• 15:53
  It's like, I like, I pee in public.
• 15:55
  I love I love them Academy so much.
• 15:57
  Yeah, and yelling, you know, horrible slurs and things about
• 16:02
  different. Practicing Nazi salute, that's
• 16:04
  what. I'm saying they'd be they would
• 16:06
  hang out like they'd be at the same corner of the cafeteria.
• 16:09
  If not the. Same for sure.
• 16:10
  Oh, for sure, for sure. It's interesting how that.
• 16:13
  Yeah, they're hanging out in the same shade on the Spectrum.
• 16:20
  How that just kind of collapse the those timelines collapse in
• 16:23
  on themselves? I saw somebody just it was
• 16:28
  Shane, Shane Gillis just murdering Kanye.
• 16:32
  He's like, you're a music producer and then you made Crocs
• 16:36
  and called yourself a genius. He's like, he's like what?
• 16:39
  He's like, I've never, I've never listened to any other
• 16:41
  music producer and thought like, Oh yeah, that's a genius.
• 16:46
  Which I thought I was like, hey, why you hating my music
• 16:48
  producers? But a music producer could be a
• 16:51
  genius, but just listening to like a just listening to their
• 16:54
  song, you're not going to be like, oh, this shit's a genius
• 16:56
  necessary. I kind of saw his point, but the
• 16:58
  point is kind of did, like, I thought, get more credit than he
• 17:03
  probably should have. And therefore this downfall is
• 17:07
  like greater than it should have, you know what I'm saying?
• 17:12
  Yeah, but he built himself up so, so much like in the height
• 17:15
  in that it worked to where like now like him like spiraling is
• 17:18
  just like even more epic because of like the false like bravado
• 17:24
  and well. That makes sense.
• 17:26
  Bullshit. I don't know whatever side.
• 17:30
  That was a side comment. Shut up Kanye, your wife, your
• 17:36
  ex wife's a porn star and your daughter's a compass.
• 17:39
  That was an old Facebook joke I had.
• 17:41
  Figure 1. OK, shit, I didn't even.
• 17:46
  We're already on 4, but I've only asked you 2 collecting
• 17:48
  questions. All right, let's get at the
• 17:49
  questions. Question #3 You've always been
• 17:52
  the guy who speaks his mind. Have you ever found that trait?
• 17:57
  That trait worked against you. Oh hell yeah, there's been time.
• 18:04
  Name one time. Name one time.
• 18:07
  There's been times like it takes a lot to get a rise out of me
• 18:12
  and I'm pretty quick witted and if I want, I'm normally pretty
• 18:17
  goofy about it and. A lot because like people can't
• 18:21
  access your 8 foot fence and so it's like you need like a way to
• 18:25
  get like over the 8 foot. No, but it's always been.
• 18:27
  More wise out of you or it's always been more?
• 18:29
  Like authority figures or being too direct or too honest when I
• 18:35
  shouldn't be and just feeling like I I'll have the urge to.
• 18:40
  I can reach a point where I'll have the urge to say something.
• 18:43
  Being sense of aggressive or you just being.
• 18:45
  No, no. I mean, if you take it as overt
• 18:48
  aggression, that's up to you. But I'm not being, it's not
• 18:51
  passive aggressive or anything like that.
• 18:53
  Or there'll be times where like I'll speak exactly what's on my
• 18:56
  mind, say the truth. I can like hear what I would say
• 19:00
  in my head and then the response.
• 19:02
  And then what my response will be like 4 lines ahead in the
• 19:05
  conversation and I'll try to refrain from saying it.
• 19:08
  And there's been times in my life where I've chosen not to.
• 19:11
  And if I start, I'm going to say it all and it's pretty much
• 19:15
  going to play out how I could see it playing out in that like
• 19:18
  you're it's going to get a rise out of you.
• 19:20
  And I know what your reports going to be.
• 19:22
  It's one of the. You're saying you're not saying
• 19:26
  like that. You like don't always speak the
• 19:29
  truth. What you're saying is sometimes
• 19:30
  less is more. Yeah, sometimes less is more.
• 19:33
  So it's not that I'm speaking the truth, it's that like
• 19:34
  sometimes there are things that don't need to be said because.
• 19:38
  Because of the result of that is like, it creates a bigger
• 19:41
  problem than. It could create a bigger problem
• 19:43
  and that was normally with authority figures, teachers,
• 19:47
  coaches, parents from time to time.
• 19:51
  It was more that it was definitely like when I was
• 19:53
  substantially younger when I'd have that issue.
• 19:56
  I mean, that's kind of unique for a young black African
• 20:00
  American growing up in, like, the suburbs of Dallas to
• 20:05
  experience, you know, problems with the authority figures.
• 20:10
  Throughout their life, right, Like you would say that that's a
• 20:12
  unique to your circumstance or? Oh, definitely.
• 20:15
  But what I would say is it taught me a lot of emotional
• 20:19
  control, which is something that's important and, and you
• 20:22
  know, to keep your cool because people are going to say and just
• 20:25
  because you can say something doesn't always mean it's the
• 20:27
  right thing to say. Well, it's like, you can't
• 20:29
  control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to
• 20:32
  it. Like, and that goes like into,
• 20:34
  like in that very, very moment, you know, it's like, yeah.
• 20:38
  It's like like people be like, oh, you made me like a like, you
• 20:42
  know, like lash out and it's like, well, no bro, you lashed
• 20:45
  out like, you know, it's. Like and most of the time they
• 20:47
  want a reaction from you, so that justifies whatever else
• 20:51
  they want to do, so it's you. Know, but you should be.
• 20:54
  You should just be thinking about what's good for you, not
• 20:57
  like. Yeah, and also like trying to be
• 20:59
  like. Fuck them, they're trying to get
• 21:01
  a reaction. From yeah, you don't really get
• 21:03
  anything. No.
• 21:04
  Well, well, sometimes though, yeah, stubbornness, you know,
• 21:06
  you can use it as a tool to, you know, motivate you to like.
• 21:11
  I remember one thing. I remember one time and I was
• 21:14
  just being honest. I was a kid.
• 21:16
  And so I have, you know, all sisters, my mom, big gardener,
• 21:22
  badass gardener. This is why I like, I've been, I
• 21:25
  mean, it's weird, it's funny how shit comes full circle, but even
• 21:28
  when you're adopted. But I've been like mashing
• 21:30
  outside, doing yard work and landscaping when I was a kid.
• 21:34
  I used to have to do that all the time.
• 21:35
  I was the only boy raised by all, you know, a whole Caucasian
• 21:39
  family of girls. So I think at one point I was
• 21:41
  like 10 or 11 or something like that and made some comment about
• 21:46
  like it was like I was half kidding, but I was like, you
• 21:48
  don't think anybody thinks this weird?
• 21:50
  Like the one black kid living on the streets, always outside,
• 21:53
  like doing yard work, while like, you know, like every all
• 21:56
  the white people aren't like helping me and made some made
• 22:00
  some slave joke and like. Right, that's what they feel at
• 22:04
  home. And that was like, my, my mom
• 22:07
  exploded and I was thinking it, and I've been thinking it for a
• 22:11
  while. I was like, Nah, that's like, I
• 22:12
  shouldn't even say that, but it would be really funny.
• 22:14
  But she's probably not going to take it very well.
• 22:16
  And it totally blew up in my fucking face.
• 22:20
  That is the dicier situation this time.
• 22:23
  Being for real like, that is unique to you because you were
• 22:25
  adopted and, you know, she's a white lady and you're black.
• 22:29
  So it's like, yeah. But your comments on like a
• 22:34
  situation like that hit differently than if she was
• 22:39
  African American woman who like raised you as a.
• 22:41
  Yeah. Then it would be like, yeah,
• 22:44
  you'd be like, yeah, no, she, like your mom would be saying it
• 22:47
  before you even said it, you know?
• 22:48
  So like, but in that situation, she's probably like, she
• 22:52
  probably gets defensive. She probably has like, you know,
• 22:57
  like tendencies, you know, like racial bias, but gets overly
• 23:03
  defensive if somebody points it out.
• 23:05
  Like I'm just, I have no idea. I'm just guessing like because
• 23:08
  she had no problem adopting an African American son.
• 23:12
  So she's like, of course I'm not racist, even though she probably
• 23:15
  has like tendencies just by the way that, you know, her being
• 23:19
  old and how shit young people get raised in the South, you
• 23:22
  know what I'm saying? So that's like.
• 23:25
  Or is in New York. She probably doesn't own up to
• 23:28
  this shit because she thinks she's absolved of the original
• 23:31
  sin by adopting a black boy well.
• 23:33
  I mean, I mean, that's, I mean, that's pretty, pretty heavy.
• 23:37
  But, but I, but what I would say is like growing up where we grew
• 23:43
  up in South Lake, I think I've talked about it on tons of
• 23:47
  previous episodes, I was extremely self aware.
• 23:49
  I was more comfortable with who I was, what color I was, and
• 23:55
  what my sense of self was from when I was in, I don't know,
• 23:59
  like third grade, like, I mean second grade.
• 24:02
  Nobody would have let you forget about it.
• 24:05
  Well, that I I spent a lot of time explaining it because you
• 24:08
  know what? My sister.
• 24:09
  I have a sister that's in the same grade as us, same last
• 24:12
  name. We are polar opposite ends of
• 24:15
  the spectrum in any possible way you could think of, not just in
• 24:18
  color. And like, I grew up explaining
• 24:21
  that to people on the school bus.
• 24:22
  Like that's my sister. No, it's not.
• 24:25
  It's not like a like the fact that you guys were both in our,
• 24:29
  you know, the same age, so in the same grade.
• 24:31
  Yeah. So that would all be happen all
• 24:33
  because every so everybody you're you know, she knows and
• 24:36
  therefore you're explaining it to everybody.
• 24:38
  Every time that you meet somebody new, as opposed to like
• 24:40
  if she was like 4 years older, It's like, you know, I sometimes
• 24:43
  like, you know, I, I don't even know if I've met your other.
• 24:47
  Yeah. My oldest.
• 24:48
  Sister, right. But even though we're like this
• 24:50
  close, the fact that, yeah, but the fact you guys are in the
• 24:53
  same grade, yeah. So you're just like, like you
• 24:56
  probably like had a story that you like developed like, like a
• 24:59
  way to even like talk about that.
• 25:01
  Yeah, and then talk going to the counselor all the time and
• 25:04
  talking about that because then my parents get divorced and it
• 25:07
  was all this like, oh, we gotta but.
• 25:09
  The audience his his his sister is is was white and is black
• 25:15
  yeah, yeah, both of his sisters are white, but and he's adopted
• 25:18
  and he's. Black, three of them are three,
• 25:20
  three sisters. But yeah, my mom taught at that
• 25:24
  school, so I grew up explaining that.
• 25:27
  So I was very comfortable and talking about it.
• 25:29
  That's why I've never had an issue discussing any of it or
• 25:33
  trying to explain it like the weird like South Lake, Game of
• 25:37
  Thrones, like adoption musical chair shit that is like.
• 25:40
  If you have your pitch, you know already, it's like, you just
• 25:43
  already. It's like probably.
• 25:45
  It was, it's just like ingrained, like explaining,
• 25:47
  explaining the situation to people in like a very simplistic
• 25:51
  way so they don't get confused. Because if I break it out and
• 25:55
  get too deep into details, it can get confusing.
• 25:58
  But also. Like doing it, having to do it
• 26:00
  at a young age and the repetition of it probably has
• 26:03
  like become a part of your identity, whether you want it to
• 26:05
  be or not or like, you know what I'm saying?
• 26:07
  Like, yeah, for sure. I mean conscious, like, I mean,
• 26:10
  just like everybody like in, you know, whatever the fuck they
• 26:12
  experience, like when they're young.
• 26:14
  But this that's, you know, probably the part of yours.
• 26:17
  Yeah, definitely. Like being comfortable
• 26:19
  explaining my situation to people is definitely something
• 26:23
  I'm like, I have 0 issues with don't care.
• 26:26
  Like I you know it. It also helped me process it
• 26:30
  when I was a kid to understand it by explaining it.
• 26:33
  So there was like this weird probably period of my life where
• 26:36
  I wanted people to ask me about it so I could talk about it.
• 26:38
  Like that's what I was going to ask.
• 26:40
  But I was. My sense of humor came from
• 26:42
  that. Do you also think it was like a
• 26:44
  like, because that set you apart, you got like attention
• 26:48
  from that And therefore that's also kind of like why it was
• 26:53
  like positively reinforced it where it's like, oh, like, cuz
• 26:56
  I'll tell you why I'm asking that question when, because we,
• 26:58
  I was born in California, moved to Texas when I was 11.
• 27:01
  That's when I met Joseph, graduated high school, moved
• 27:04
  back to California, went to San Diego State my freshman year and
• 27:08
  I was going to tell everybody I was from California, you know,
• 27:10
  like I'm not from fucking Texas, I'm from here.
• 27:12
  And then I realized everybody like all of my homies, everybody
• 27:16
  at the party is like first question freshman year and it's
• 27:19
  like, oh, where are you from? California, California,
• 27:21
  California, yes, guess who's who's from Texas and who said
• 27:25
  y'all real fucking quick. And I like all I did was apply
• 27:30
  to California schools. Get me the fuck out of Texas.
• 27:32
  Fucking like not even and like August is not even over freshman
• 27:36
  year and I'm like, where you from?
• 27:38
  Oh, I'm from Texas. Hey, y'all, y'all, y'all need a
• 27:40
  beer? Swear to God, just because it
• 27:42
  was like everybody else was from fucking like Huntington Beach or
• 27:45
  LA or you know, And so I was like, but but it set me apart.
• 27:51
  And then like kind of like what, you know, just like you were
• 27:53
  saying you weren't like just like every other fucking cookie
• 27:57
  cutter white boy that was. Yeah, boy, and that's where a
• 28:01
  lot of myself. The adoption and you know, yeah.
• 28:04
  So like that's where when I made that joke to my mom and pissed
• 28:06
  her off about like me doing slave work or feeling like the
• 28:09
  house slave, it's like there's, there's so many.
• 28:12
  Like I, I knew ahead of time it was going to make her upset, but
• 28:15
  that's like, that's like obviously inappropriate, but a
• 28:20
  pretty witty joke on multiple layers.
• 28:22
  There was like. And then?
• 28:25
  Yeah, there's, there's multiple, there's multiple like facets to
• 28:30
  that joke that would make someone laugh and it'd be funny.
• 28:33
  It'd also be like, like pretty true in a certain sense, like
• 28:36
  surface level and like would make people uncomfortable.
• 28:39
  So to be saying that as a kid that got like jokes like that
• 28:42
  got me in trouble where they were like there's a realistic
• 28:45
  aspect to it that would make that adult frustrated or angry
• 28:49
  or uncomfortable. I've always said either my
• 28:52
  teachers adored me or they fucking hated me.
• 28:55
  There was no one who was like God, Joseph, sorry, he's OK.
• 28:59
  It was like either I maybe a. Warning label is warning.
• 29:02
  You're either going to love it or you're going to hate it.
• 29:04
  Yeah, and that's where it's too much because I, I have toned it
• 29:08
  down a lot, which is wild to me, but I, you know, but didn't
• 29:12
  really give a shit like. Don't be so definitive in that.
• 29:17
  Maybe you'll tone it up. Yeah, maybe.
• 29:20
  That maybe, maybe one day. You'll see a news like I need to
• 29:23
  get back wild again. So.
• 29:25
  Dropping truth bombs like Latina.
• 29:28
  I, I've, I've do from time to time, but it's definitely, I try
• 29:33
  to be more constructive and have a more impactful aspect in a
• 29:38
  positive way. Then because sometimes you
• 29:40
  could, you could still tell somebody two different things or
• 29:43
  the same thing twice in the different contexts or a
• 29:46
  different way and their reactions will be different.
• 29:49
  So I try to think through what I'm going to say, if it's going
• 29:52
  to be. Something manipulate people.
• 29:54
  OK, if I'm going to, if I'm. Going to.
• 29:56
  No, people do. We'll be high on the questions.
• 29:58
  OK, question #4 everyone now reminder, just one moment we're
• 30:05
  going to pick here. Everyone's got that moment in
• 30:07
  life they wish they caught on camera.
• 30:10
  What's yours? Maybe like Gen.
• 30:12
  Z or Gen. Alpha doesn't have that moment
• 30:14
  because everything's caught on camera now.
• 30:16
  You know, it's like we're, you know, in Communist China.
• 30:20
  But but except for by our own doing, because we just
• 30:23
  everybody's taking the pictures voluntarily.
• 30:26
  But go ahead. What's the one moment in your
• 30:28
  life? One moment in my life that I'd
• 30:31
  wish I got caught on camera. That's tough.
• 30:39
  You know, just think of a moment where, like, you look like a
• 30:43
  boss. Well, I mean any of the sports
• 30:46
  stuff. Or.
• 30:49
  Would have been caught on camera.
• 30:52
  You know, there's something that happened to you that was fucking
• 30:54
  crazy that you wish was on camera because it's like, that
• 30:57
  was wild and like, you know. OK, I think I've told the story.
• 31:08
  Even if you have, don't say that.
• 31:10
  Well, I'm saying, I think I've mentioned it.
• 31:12
  I don't know if I've told the whole story.
• 31:14
  And if I have, it's been, Oh my God, we've been doing this.
• 31:17
  You know it's been. Give me the Cliff notes.
• 31:19
  Like give me the bangers. I'm like a homeless.
• 31:23
  You can stab me and then I save this chick in this.
• 31:25
  One time, I mean, this could have just been like a really bad
• 31:29
  movie, like a super badish movie, only like 10 times worse.
• 31:34
  But me and somebody went rollerblading.
• 31:38
  We decided to go rollerblading in the afternoon.
• 31:40
  This is when I was like 19 or something, 1920.
• 31:43
  And so we're rollerblading through South.
• 31:45
  I apologize. I apologize for my fruit booter
• 31:47
  comment earlier. I didn't realize you were, you
• 31:49
  know, an ally. It was, yeah, man, it's halfway.
• 31:53
  I feel like I was fast as a kid. I'm not judging.
• 31:56
  But I we were, we were, we were fresh out of school, we were
• 32:04
  smoking and rollerblade. Like 19 out of school. 19 out of
• 32:09
  school. Yeah.
• 32:09
  So it was like the summer. Kind of school for the day or
• 32:13
  something. No, no, no.
• 32:15
  Like we were like, it was like the summer in between.
• 32:17
  After graduation. Yeah, after graduation.
• 32:19
  So we're rollerblading and smoking and we decide to.
• 32:27
  My rollerblade breaks. I stop by P Diddy's house in the
• 32:31
  middle of the day. Not actual, Not actual, Not P
• 32:35
  Diddy. Sorry, that's our friend.
• 32:38
  Thorn. Pete Thorn.
• 32:39
  So I go swing by Pete Thorns. Yeah, but I think we need to
• 32:43
  stop. Stop.
• 32:44
  Yeah. We need to bring back some of
• 32:45
  the old ones. I don't think we can compete it
• 32:46
  anymore. But swing by Specs House because
• 32:49
  I buy wheel brakes. We're both baked.
• 32:52
  And I'm like, I'm like, Mr. Thorn, will you fix my
• 32:55
  rollerblade? He sits there, fixes our, fixes
• 32:58
  my dad. Yeah.
• 33:00
  His dad in the driveway. I used to play T-ball with him.
• 33:02
  So I've known the, you know. You and the dad used to play
• 33:05
  T-ball. Just you too.
• 33:06
  No, he coached A-Team. Me and Patrick play.
• 33:08
  On. Yeah, but.
• 33:11
  He's a good dude. Yeah, he's fucking awesome.
• 33:13
  So he fixes our rollerblade. Then later that night we end up
• 33:18
  Long story short, tons of hallucinogens happen.
• 33:23
  This dude that I'm I'm at his house.
• 33:26
  He ends up drowning in his pool. He basically ends up being to
• 33:30
  being in his pool. I have to I find him.
• 33:32
  No one knows where this guy is. He lives in this huge house in a
• 33:36
  gated community. He's.
• 33:37
  Like what did? I mean, I don't, I don't want to
• 33:42
  say his name. No.
• 33:43
  OK. So it's not, it's not, it's not
• 33:46
  not P Diddy, it's not. No, no, it's not PD.
• 33:48
  No, no, no, no, no. Because.
• 33:49
  They had they had like a they had like a fucking like thing,
• 33:52
  like a lake in their backyard. The we could get like kayak on.
• 33:54
  And I'm like, wait, it's true. Are you just telling me that
• 33:57
  like Patrick's that like you? No, no.
• 33:59
  No, no, no, no, no, no. So he fixed our rollerblade.
• 34:01
  We leave, we go back to the guy that I was rollerblading with
• 34:04
  his house not too far up the street.
• 34:07
  What? Was he doing sashaying?
• 34:10
  Nice. We were both to be both played,
• 34:13
  but we get there, we and there's a he has a bunch of people over
• 34:18
  and we would always hang out at his house like upstairs in this
• 34:22
  big game. Room area on his bed and he'd
• 34:25
  ask you or he'd ask you if you want.
• 34:26
  To go no, no, no, no, no. This is even like in high
• 34:28
  school, he would, we would play Tiger Woods golf and he had this
• 34:32
  whole game room that had a balcony off the backside of it
• 34:36
  and there's a bathroom over there that might help, that
• 34:38
  might help you. Understand.
• 34:39
  Now you know exactly and they had a.
• 34:41
  Pool in the middle, there's a balcony across the way and we
• 34:45
  just play Tiger Woods golf and like smoke up there.
• 34:48
  And his parents never came up there.
• 34:50
  So he has like 20 people at the house, 25 people.
• 34:53
  His parents are asleep. They don't give a shit.
• 34:54
  They're leaving us alone. Somebody brought a bunch of
• 34:57
  hallucinogens. This guy whose house we're at,
• 35:00
  he ends up taking them all and like, disappears so no one can
• 35:05
  find them. We're all.
• 35:06
  Wandering. And then he goes Matthew Perry.
• 35:09
  But yeah, kind of. You save them.
• 35:12
  Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, so it was.
• 35:14
  Black you, the Black Knight. It was, it was crazy because I
• 35:17
  was had no business doing that. But I end up pulling him out of
• 35:20
  the pool because he's floating in his pool.
• 35:22
  Like he's like almost like drowned in the pool just
• 35:24
  floating there. Like I'm completely limp back
• 35:28
  just floating like Super Mario. I mean, to be fair, that is kind
• 35:31
  of what you do in a pool is float.
• 35:33
  Not face, not face down and the water still.
• 35:37
  So when I see him, it's not like it's like he just jumped in.
• 35:40
  It's like there's no movement and we've been looking for this
• 35:43
  dude for like 45 minutes. So pull him out of the pool.
• 35:46
  By that point, everybody shows up, everybody's outside because
• 35:50
  they hear me splash into the pool.
• 35:52
  We end up getting him back to like consciousness basically.
• 35:55
  And he starts like going crazy. And that's, that was one of like
• 35:58
  the craziest moments because I was so instinctual for me that
• 36:02
  I'd like to see that replayed. Or is it as exactly as I
• 36:05
  remember it? Was it crazier or was it not as
• 36:08
  crazy? I'd love to see that moment back
• 36:10
  because I was wild. Like, I mean, then I had to wake
• 36:14
  up as parents because it was like too much.
• 36:16
  People are freaking out. I'm freaking out.
• 36:19
  There's all these people Chris is, I mean.
• 36:24
  Yeah, OK, but let me just stop you.
• 36:27
  But that's so funny because like I I bet you that is at the top
• 36:32
  of his list of things he would have said I don't ever want or
• 36:38
  I'm so glad that was not caught on camera.
• 36:41
  You know, he's trying to get that out of his memory to like
• 36:44
  today with, you know, like probably.
• 36:46
  And and yet it's at the same exact thing that.
• 36:50
  That's something I want to see on the highlight.
• 36:52
  Thing you go to you want to see again?
• 36:55
  Because I have, because it was such a wonderful.
• 36:57
  No, I was just pointing out cast like you know?
• 37:00
  Cast of characters in the fallout I mean apparently I was
• 37:03
  like yelling and screaming when I woke up as parents.
• 37:05
  I don't remember doing that. I remember being like yo what up
• 37:08
  like and but I have no idea, So it's like to see that whole
• 37:13
  thing play out would be. All right, we're now approaching
• 37:17
  the halfway mark. I had names for each one of
• 37:20
  these levels. But the way that this is set,
• 37:22
  well, actually, you know what? Double time on here.
• 37:27
  OK, so for level 5 on Melinda's Mayhem official gauntlet, this
• 37:36
  one is, oh, yeah, let me tell you.
• 37:37
  It's the Mexicana hot sauce salsa Picante made with premium
• 37:42
  fresh chilies and spices. This is our first two flame of
• 37:48
  the hot sauces and it is sweet equity.
• 37:52
  You're not crying, you're investing in your pores.
• 37:58
  What's my joke for this level? Mexicana?
• 38:09
  I just breaking news. Trump just changed this to it's
• 38:13
  called Americana now. Yeah, sorry guys.
• 38:17
  Didn't see that coming. Global units went negative.
• 38:22
  It's good. Just kidding, Melinda, OK,
• 38:28
  question #5 you told me to stay away from certain subjects, but
• 38:35
  this is as this is as touching as it might get.
• 38:39
  Imagine you're offered your dream career tomorrow, but you
• 38:42
  have to give up. Topanga was Joseph's dog.
• 38:46
  Do you take the deal? No.
• 38:50
  For sure. Yeah, I mean, so when I got
• 38:54
  Topanga, so this will be we can this is said dogs are a
• 38:58
  sensitive subject for me. So I I grew up with dogs.
• 39:01
  No, I grew up. Me too.
• 39:02
  Look at my dogs right, right here.
• 39:04
  You can't see the hot side I grew.
• 39:05
  Up then, then, then you'll relate.
• 39:06
  I grew up with dogs. I remember we had a dog named
• 39:09
  Chester when I was a little kid that ran away.
• 39:12
  Then I we got a dog named Penny and dogs would be overwhelming.
• 39:20
  So it was like Chester recite, but there was there was this
• 39:23
  thing about dogs. I don't know what it was, but if
• 39:26
  we had dogs as a kid, this is going to be sad.
• 39:28
  But I mean, like we would have them.
• 39:30
  And then like there's been multiple times where I like came
• 39:33
  home from school and the dog was like gone, like giving away or
• 39:37
  wasn't there. It's like, Oh, kids aren't
• 39:41
  helping enough with the dog and it's too much for me to handle
• 39:43
  by myself. I'm getting rid of the dog.
• 39:45
  So sometimes we'd have a dog for eight months and then my mom
• 39:48
  would. Like they were like expendable.
• 39:50
  Re give it up for adoption so. That's crazy.
• 39:53
  That is so Chester. Imagine Chester, then Penny,
• 39:58
  then Bentley and Bailey. There was like multiple dogs
• 40:01
  that we had bro. This is your dream career.
• 40:03
  Let me play devil's advocate right here now dream career and
• 40:06
  you just named off a list of you're used.
• 40:08
  And I know and I and then I got Murphy Brown and then I had to
• 40:14
  get rid of Murphy Brown. Well, I didn't get rid of Murphy
• 40:16
  Brown. Murphy Brown was kind of like
• 40:17
  taking. Already you.
• 40:19
  No, it was like in like the. It was about like, who the
• 40:22
  roller skates that you were hanging out with?
• 40:23
  No like. You're sharing pet custody.
• 40:28
  Worked out better than mine. So that's.
• 40:30
  It is, yeah. Three years plus.
• 40:33
  That's wild to me. So mine maybe lasted like a year
• 40:36
  and then it was like, Nah, sorry, go F yourself.
• 40:39
  So when I got Topanga, I was living in a living in a shitty
• 40:44
  apartment, living by myself, wanted to get a dog and just
• 40:51
  Topanga just kind of came fell into my life so that there was a
• 40:55
  period of time before I moved back to Texas for like Topanga
• 40:58
  was like my homie. I got her.
• 40:59
  She was 9 weeks. You moved back.
• 41:01
  From Colorado. Yeah, moving back from Denver to
• 41:04
  Texas. How old was how old was Debango
• 41:06
  when you got her? I'm going to, I'm going to take
• 41:08
  over 10 weeks so we can, I'm going to ask you questions. 10
• 41:11
  weeks. How long have you had her?
• 41:13
  How old is she now? She's about to turn 5.
• 41:18
  Nice. I've had a dog for seven months
• 41:21
  that that died out of nowhere fucking killed me.
• 41:25
  And I've had this dog for five years.
• 41:28
  And so I get both, both like the short lived what the fuck, but
• 41:33
  also the long lived attachment. I didn't mean to put the pang in
• 41:37
  here. I was trying to just think of
• 41:38
  something that you would turn your dream career down for.
• 41:45
  Yeah. For sure, it's OK.
• 41:46
  There's lots of things. People.
• 41:47
  The people. For the record, OK, for the
• 41:50
  record, I would do the same for my dog.
• 41:52
  Except for what? What?
• 41:55
  What is your dream career job that we're turning down here?
• 41:59
  Get specific and then tell me this.
• 42:05
  Spotify comes to you with Joey Bagga.
• 42:08
  Go fuck yourself, money. I would rather, I would much
• 42:14
  rather create like movies and shorts and video, do videography
• 42:19
  work than just do radio work if I could to create, be better at
• 42:23
  creating in that medium. So, and that's something I'm, I
• 42:27
  don't do as much and I'm not definitely not talented enough
• 42:31
  to make a career out of it. So that would probably be more
• 42:34
  of a dream of careers like making those things and making
• 42:36
  it visual, not just audio work. Well, as your career advisor,
• 42:41
  speak yourself nicer and don't say that I wouldn't be good at
• 42:46
  it anyways. That's fucking terrible.
• 42:48
  No, I I feel like, but I naturally a good communicator
• 42:51
  verbally, so talking, having conversations.
• 42:54
  Good communicated to yours. And to to communicate what I can
• 42:58
  see in my imagination and in my head and create that for other
• 43:01
  people to see. That would be like a dream job,
• 43:05
  you know, with like a visual aspect of it.
• 43:07
  Because I'm a visual learner. So I always.
• 43:09
  Learned do you have resentment now that Topanga is preventing
• 43:12
  you from your dream job? Now that you know, now that
• 43:15
  we've hatched that I know that Topanga is a dream killer.
• 43:19
  You know she doesn't want to see you successful like you thought
• 43:21
  she was your pal, just like unconditional love.
• 43:25
  But really she just doesn't want you to get too big because then
• 43:30
  you'll you'll you'll find a better.
• 43:34
  I forget what kind of dog she has.
• 43:35
  It's like what different things? Yeah, she's a boxer, healer,
• 43:39
  German shepherd mix. I'll.
• 43:41
  Tell you what kind of dog that she is.
• 43:42
  ChatGPT is not going to figure it out by me explaining her
• 43:45
  typing. Because he's like what?
• 43:47
  Man, I thought we were done with pronouns.
• 43:49
  Yeah. OK, moving on to question number
• 43:53
  six. And we're in the back half of
• 43:55
  the gauntlet, Joseph, on this one question #6 but we are.
• 44:03
  This is a favorite from shout out P Wig, Shout out the token
• 44:08
  Jew. Not sure why the handle
• 44:10
  switched, but maybe, you know, there's an explanation there.
• 44:16
  The highly recommend out of all the 10 sauces, the black truffle
• 44:20
  hot sauce, this one is, I think it's 2 on the skull belt.
• 44:24
  Yeah, it's just a fancy. Yeah.
• 44:26
  So it's 2 black truffle sauce hot sauce.
• 44:29
  I've tried a couple of these. This one was hyped up and I got
• 44:34
  to say Melinda. Got to say Melinda.
• 44:37
  Yeah, I did yourself here. I didn't try any of them.
• 44:42
  I waited. That's fine.
• 44:45
  I was doing research for the pot.
• 44:48
  Like, you know, you're the guest for did I?
• 44:58
  This is kind of like the lip quake on a stage.
• 45:03
  The tingling turns to trembling. Things start to get real.
• 45:10
  Question number six, Joseph, who's someone you envy, but in a
• 45:16
  weirdly specific way. One person very specific thing
• 45:24
  you envy about them. That's an interesting question.
• 45:31
  Thank you. Specific person, right?
• 45:35
  Envy them for something, Yeah, life travels pretty good.
• 45:41
  But for something very specific, there's a specific reasonable
• 45:44
  like all basically only one reason I envy this person.
• 45:50
  Yeah, like you specifically envy Kevin Love for being a morbidly
• 45:58
  obese NBA player in the league for 20 years.
• 46:03
  And it's. Was able to just.
• 46:07
  He's, he's not a morbidly, actually morbidly base, but you
• 46:10
  know, he seems out of shape, but somehow he's playing and he
• 46:14
  seems like he's 45 years old. That's a tough ass question.
• 46:21
  Sorry not to be annoying, that's super tough.
• 46:31
  I guess one that would. Like I admire Elon Musk specific
• 46:39
  like this specific weird way his honesty of being able to tell
• 46:44
  his friends about how he's incontinent and can't control
• 46:49
  his bladder due to his insatiable urge to inject
• 46:55
  ketamine into his body. I appreciate like you being
• 46:59
  honest with the Bros like that. That's true.
• 47:02
  I mean, that was highly specific.
• 47:05
  That's not what I'm trying to say.
• 47:06
  I. Would say I'm envious of Denzel
• 47:09
  Washington and it's specifically because of the equalizer movies
• 47:14
  like now. How well, how are those
• 47:16
  different than his other movies? Because his other movies, I mean
• 47:19
  they're all great, but he always like remember the Titans or he's
• 47:22
  or I guess anytime anytime where he's like perceived as like not
• 47:27
  really a but he's just a badass anytime that.
• 47:30
  He's talking about training day, Man on Fire like.
• 47:32
  Yeah, but see, but like, see, but like I like whenever he is
• 47:35
  like a good, like a bad on fire badass, but the good guy.
• 47:39
  So Man on Fire being in that movie.
• 47:42
  But then all three equalizers, like one of them, he works at a
• 47:45
  fucking Home Depot and he's just like beating everybody's ass at
• 47:48
  Home Depot and he's retired like.
• 47:50
  Shout out the shout out of Iron Ape Senior.
• 47:53
  But if you could and, and he's never, I don't think he's ever
• 47:56
  won an Oscar. So it's like he's, what did he
• 48:00
  win for? I think he won in I have no
• 48:04
  idea, but I'm going to say either Philadelphia, like the
• 48:07
  supporting or Michael Max or maybe Malcolm X or I'm just
• 48:14
  throwing the shit out. Like I, I think he has one, but
• 48:16
  it's like for like, I don't know, it's like, you know, best
• 48:22
  supporting actor and it was like the.
• 48:25
  Best supporting actor in the movie glory in 1989 and for best
• 48:30
  I know anyone best actor for playing for for training day.
• 48:33
  So OK, he. Got it for training day.
• 48:35
  Yeah, so my bad. Put it on the motherfucking
• 48:38
  mouth, rush I. Guess I'd just be jealous of it,
• 48:40
  of his, like really his acting range in general.
• 48:43
  Because you've seen him, OK. Well, that's that.
• 48:45
  In general, is the opposite of specific.
• 48:49
  But definitely for when he plays a bad ass good guy, like you
• 48:51
  think, you know, John Wick and all these dudes that that's what
• 48:55
  they do. And then Denzel just kind of
• 48:57
  made this switch. Like he didn't remember the
• 48:59
  Titans. And then then he's like in
• 49:01
  training day. And then just he wanted to like,
• 49:03
  I don't know, shoot guns and like just took this hard.
• 49:08
  Like, I don't know, I feel like they all kind of do it, but I
• 49:11
  like his the best. He's still, and he plays this
• 49:13
  good like I'm nice, but I'm going to fucking kill you.
• 49:18
  Like in all the equalizers where he's like, all right, well, you
• 49:21
  know, he killed. I think the Equalizer franchise
• 49:24
  exists because of his resume of playing that character and
• 49:30
  showing that he can do that. They're like, bro, like, like,
• 49:33
  let's just keep doing that. Like him and Steven Seagal still
• 49:37
  both make movies. Fuck out Steven Seagal is
• 49:40
  vanished to Rush. Denzel as let go.
• 49:44
  No, I'm saying Denzel is everything.
• 49:46
  That's fun. Seagal kind of bro.
• 49:48
  Steven Seagal wishes he was. You're not letting me finish.
• 49:50
  He wishes he was Denzel, and that's why.
• 49:53
  He wishes he was Bruce Lee. He wishes he was Jesse.
• 49:59
  The body, Ventura, You know what I'm saying?
• 50:00
  Or is even Jason Satham at this point?
• 50:02
  What would Jesse Ventura say for these hot wings did like?
• 50:06
  I don't know man. Off the top ropes.
• 50:09
  Yes, you tell me, Melinda. Tell me this hot sauce is going
• 50:15
  to challenge me. Well, I went next to the to the
• 50:19
  fives. That's what I want, the fours
• 50:21
  and the fives. There's only 15, but if you
• 50:24
  would just let me keep it moving, we, we could do that.
• 50:28
  I am now we're making good time. I'm just fucking with you.
• 50:32
  OK #7 This one is the extra That's XXXTRA hot pepper sauce
• 50:44
  three XS but only three out of five flames original habanero.
• 50:49
  So there's descriptions Melinda's XXX, our flagship
• 50:52
  habanero sauce with the three times the heat made the
• 50:55
  Melinda's way with whole fresh ingredients and the best
• 50:58
  habanero Peppers on the planet. Enjoyed it with soups, gumbo,
• 51:02
  beans, stews on practically everything.
• 51:09
  And y'all, just since we haven't done it yet, it's simple website
• 51:12
  melindas.com. That's melindas.com, not
• 51:16
  heatness.com. What do you think about the
• 51:20
  extra hot Habanero I? Mean I love habaneros so this is
• 51:27
  good. You know what, this is the first
• 51:29
  one I haven't tried because I had to take off the safety seal.
• 51:35
  Let's see, like, that's great. Like I put that on pizza.
• 51:38
  What the the habanero? The habanero.
• 51:41
  Oh hell yeah. Like to cook with habaneros?
• 51:45
  I'm about to. That's probably I don't know,
• 51:47
  man, I I'm surprised. I was going to say you.
• 51:50
  I'm curious to see how you're going to hold up with these hot
• 51:53
  ones, man, because this is like, now we're inviting.
• 51:55
  Tell the story like I had to. We're not supposed to share, you
• 52:00
  know, stories out of school, but I'm just going to do it on this
• 52:03
  one. Got to go back for hell week for
• 52:05
  my fraternity a week early from Christmas break.
• 52:09
  So my parents are still living in Texas.
• 52:11
  So I came back and the president of my fraternity, he's from Peru
• 52:16
  and he was in Peru during Christmas break and he got a
• 52:20
  bunch of habaneros and he brought him back.
• 52:24
  Yeah, I poured like it came out like poured out a ton.
• 52:29
  It was like super liquidy. But anyways, he made me eat 1
• 52:34
  and I started foaming out the mouth.
• 52:35
  Dude I was poking up foam from this pepper.
• 52:40
  This is like all over my tongue. Oh.
• 52:42
  Dude, you're going to die. OK, hold on.
• 52:47
  OK, if the public only knew one thing about what it's really
• 52:52
  like to Co host this podcast with you, what do you wish it
• 52:59
  was? What it would be like to Co host
• 53:01
  this with me? Yeah, one thing you you wish the
• 53:06
  public knew. Hope what it's like to Co host
• 53:07
  with you. I knock shit off the rails all
• 53:11
  the time. I go on tangents and go down
• 53:14
  rabbit holes. What about me?
• 53:17
  What about for you? What's they should know about
• 53:19
  with you? You wish the public knew that
• 53:21
  they don't about what it's like to Co host with me.
• 53:25
  They're a wild card, They they. Don't know that they don't know
• 53:28
  that. Anything.
• 53:29
  Oh dude, the ghost Peach. Fuck, yeah.
• 53:31
  That's so good. Those are so good.
• 53:35
  They're going to be. Well, I guess it's earlier there
• 53:37
  than it is here. Those I have one of those a day.
• 53:39
  Those light me up. It was just the closest thing to
• 53:42
  me. Yeah, your mouth's going to be
• 53:45
  burning all night. My tongue.
• 53:47
  It's my tongue. But yeah, that you're, you're
• 53:50
  unpredictable in lots of good ways, OK, Well, they know that.
• 53:55
  OK. Behind the scenes, OK, I'll
• 53:57
  tell, but I'll say I'll answer the question.
• 54:00
  Joseph when we were like about to start the podcast before we
• 54:05
  hit record, he tries to ice me like I'm a kicker in the NFL and
• 54:13
  he'll just try to get start talking to me while we're not
• 54:15
  recording. Like it's like we're on the
• 54:18
  podcast except for we're just shooting the shit.
• 54:21
  And now we're overtime. Like we said, we're going to
• 54:24
  start at a certain time now. Now we're just like over the
• 54:26
  time talking like we would be on the podcast, but we're not.
• 54:30
  And now I'm thinking, oh, we're overtime.
• 54:31
  Why are we talking about this? This would be good on the
• 54:33
  podcast. I don't want to say anything
• 54:35
  because I want to save it for the podcast, but that means that
• 54:38
  Joseph is going to keep talking about Interact.
• 54:42
  But he does it on purpose to try to ice me because he knows I'm
• 54:44
  coming in hot, OK? He's trying to throw me off my
• 54:47
  game. He's trying to throw me off my
• 54:48
  game. And then besides you being a
• 54:50
  wild card that you have technical difficulties a lot
• 54:54
  that's. About disagree, I would say that
• 54:56
  like out of this was like today was like the worst, but I had
• 55:03
  logged into our meeting 2 hours ahead of time because I was
• 55:06
  doing a different setup so that you can see the hot sauces and I
• 55:10
  just wanted to make sure like it like it looked good in case I
• 55:12
  had to go to the garage like we were talking about because there
• 55:14
  was a possibility so I was logged in this whole time.
• 55:18
  I think I was probably logged in too long.
• 55:20
  It's. The audio you have, you have,
• 55:22
  normally you have some audio shit go on, especially now that
• 55:25
  you've gone wireless. Hey, sorry bro, I lost, I lost
• 55:28
  the Super producer. You know what?
• 55:30
  You know, 25 episodes and doc, you know what I'm saying?
• 55:34
  Forget forgive me for some audio issues.
• 55:37
  It's like you losing Murphy Brown.
• 55:39
  You know, man, don't you say that it's terrible.
• 55:42
  It wasn't by choice. You knew Murphy Brown.
• 55:45
  You know she's an independent woman, dude, She's an
• 55:48
  INDEPENDENT. She had a bed that pulls out of
• 55:53
  the wall, dude. She's just a hustler.
• 55:55
  Yeah, that's true. All right, next question like
• 55:59
  sauce. Hey, we are at this one's also
• 56:03
  habanero, but habanero, honey mustard, pepper sauce and
• 56:07
  condiment. I don't think I have tried this
• 56:10
  one yet either. This one's that three out of
• 56:13
  five flames. Oh wow, honey mustard habanero.
• 56:20
  I like the alliteration. Let's see what Melinda has to
• 56:24
  say. Set your mouth on flavor.
• 56:28
  Sweet Colombian honey, fiery habaneros, and real mustard come
• 56:33
  together in a perfect blend for dipping, drizzling, and
• 56:37
  marinating. Made with the whole fresh
• 56:39
  ingredients. The best Peppers on the planet.
• 56:42
  Enjoy this yellow wonder with chicken fingers, sausages,
• 56:45
  sandwiches, salad dressings, and on practically everything.
• 56:49
  What do you think? That's good do.
• 56:52
  You like honey mustard in general?
• 56:54
  Oh yeah, definitely. I think you'll be able to handle
• 56:56
  this one a little bit better. Oh, why?
• 56:58
  Why? Because I got caucasity.
• 57:00
  Yeah, you have caucasity in your.
• 57:03
  Well, this one, I forgot. This one is habanero too.
• 57:05
  I'm telling you. I think they're specifically the
• 57:06
  habanero. It's like.
• 57:07
  This one, this one, this one's sweeter now.
• 57:10
  You know, it's kind of like when you Max out on like something
• 57:15
  and then like, you know, it's like when somebody who may be of
• 57:19
  Asian descent drinks too much alcohol, has an allergic
• 57:23
  reaction to it. And then now that like they're
• 57:25
  sensitive to it. That's how I'm with the
• 57:28
  habanero. I, you know, I had to eat that
• 57:30
  Peruvian 1 foamed out the mouth. Now any habanero set me off
• 57:41
  good. That's sweeter.
• 57:43
  Well, yeah. Yeah, so that's that'd be good
• 57:46
  on like a burger for sure, like a brat or something.
• 57:51
  Sausages was recommended. Right now.
• 57:56
  This is the Caspian crisis. Existential questions emerge.
• 58:05
  Who am I? Why am I sweating behind my
• 58:07
  knees? No, that was the last one.
• 58:12
  Now we're going. That was the tongue Reaper was
• 58:13
  the honey mustard. Speech failures, as you can tell
• 58:19
  you become fluent and expletives and facial switches.
• 58:25
  I'm feeling the facial twitches. I actually, you know why it's so
• 58:28
  funny because like, I was like thinking I had like, this ain't
• 58:30
  shit. Like, because none of them are
• 58:31
  really that hot. And then it's like, Oh yeah.
• 58:33
  Well, because I the ones that didn't try are the ones that
• 58:37
  are. Yeah.
• 58:37
  You didn't. You didn't try that out once
• 58:40
  because you have the caucasity to only try the try.
• 58:44
  To you get the the black, the black city of I'm not trying any
• 58:50
  of them. Yeah.
• 58:53
  So it's blind. It's blind taste blind taste
• 58:55
  test. You have to.
• 58:57
  Understand that I was I was in direct contact with the the Rep
• 59:01
  and they were hyping it up and it's like, what am I going to
• 59:03
  do? And not trying like come on bro,
• 59:05
  I got pizza. I got I got the pizza hot sauce.
• 59:07
  Like what am I supposed to do? OK, let me ask the question
• 59:13
  here. Calm down.
• 59:17
  True. Are you?
• 59:19
  Calm down. Are you all right?
• 59:21
  Yeah, I'm good question #8 which failure or rejection in your
• 59:28
  life ended up shaping you the most?
• 59:31
  And how long did it take before you can see it that way?
• 59:35
  Try to be, you know, just what was it?
• 59:37
  And then how long did it take for you to actually appreciate
• 59:42
  it? Was it immediately?
• 59:43
  Was it like years later? You like, realize, oh, that was
• 59:46
  the best thing that ever happened to me.
• 59:50
  It would be, I think, like the third time I got kicked out, so
• 59:55
  got kicked. Out of your parents house.
• 59:57
  No, I don't think yeah, I've already been kicked out of my
• 1:00:00
  mom's, but I was crashing out of buddies.
• 1:00:05
  I crashed at a couple friends houses like over the summer and
• 1:00:08
  you know, this summer. No, like this not this summer.
• 1:00:12
  This was like back in the day, back without, but I was we were
• 1:00:16
  getting out of high school and. Roller blade.
• 1:00:20
  I got, I got this thing crashing at someone's house and then they
• 1:00:26
  were their parents like a like you got to go figure it out.
• 1:00:30
  You got to go do your thing. And it was, I felt it was awful.
• 1:00:33
  I was like, fuck, this is going to suck.
• 1:00:36
  Ended up moving out to Denton, which was crazy.
• 1:00:39
  The whole my whole stay in Denton, it just got it just
• 1:00:41
  spiraled from there. But in reality, that was some of
• 1:00:45
  the best stuff that ever happened to me.
• 1:00:46
  It made me decide what I wanted to do with my life or released
• 1:00:50
  the direction I wanted to go and made me avoid getting into a
• 1:00:54
  bunch of stupid shit. So in reality, like me getting
• 1:00:58
  kicked out forced me to grow up and.
• 1:01:02
  How long did it take for you to realize that?
• 1:01:04
  Because, I mean, it probably took a while for you to actually
• 1:01:06
  grow up. I was probably like 2223 and was
• 1:01:12
  like fairly self-sufficient and had been on my own for a bit.
• 1:01:17
  I mean honestly, purchasing a house was a big fucking trip and
• 1:01:22
  really how far I've actually come and have that have.
• 1:01:25
  Had that not have happened, I don't know if I'd be as
• 1:01:28
  comfortable with who I am today and how I got to this point.
• 1:01:33
  Then if it would have been like a different way to get to this
• 1:01:35
  point like I'm thankful for. Like you getting kicked out that
• 1:01:39
  last time was like the worst because it's like, it's like
• 1:01:41
  you're only there because it's your last option.
• 1:01:44
  And now they're kicking you out. And so it's like, fuck, you're
• 1:01:47
  at the bottom. You're like, yeah.
• 1:01:49
  So they he's paying. Actually, it was like, no, like,
• 1:01:52
  like I needed to get kicked out of there because like, you know,
• 1:01:55
  you were. Or be or be getting arrested.
• 1:01:58
  Getting arrested because I've been doing good.
• 1:02:01
  When I got arrested, staying out of trouble was working, taking
• 1:02:05
  care of my shit, but not taking care of everything, obviously.
• 1:02:09
  So then when I got arrested, it taught me the lesson of like
• 1:02:11
  taking care of my shit and like that, like there's no, you don't
• 1:02:17
  get it. You don't get any pass.
• 1:02:19
  You're grateful to get that. I've gone through that
• 1:02:21
  experience. Yeah, for sure, definitely.
• 1:02:23
  It was an eye opening experience and then that that made me talk
• 1:02:27
  to. You think that was the one that
• 1:02:29
  shaped you the most? Getting arrested.
• 1:02:32
  Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:34
  I'd say getting kicked out. Failure projection that shaped
• 1:02:37
  you the most. Yeah, so I mean, getting
• 1:02:40
  arrested was a big failure, but that made me to where, like,
• 1:02:43
  that was rock bottom. And I was like, OK, well, it's
• 1:02:45
  only going to get better from here because I'm going to make
• 1:02:47
  it better. I'm already at this point.
• 1:02:49
  So I know I just got to like, take care of my shit and get,
• 1:02:53
  you know, step up to the fucking plate and I.
• 1:02:55
  Blow up or blow up? You know I like it's.
• 1:02:58
  Just talks about this but you got a check.
• 1:03:01
  Yeah, I was going to say it's in the wall.
• 1:03:03
  I'm going to put it. Up in jail when he left.
• 1:03:06
  For what amount was it a physical written check for the
• 1:03:09
  kids? No, no, it was printed, which
• 1:03:11
  makes it worse actually. And then it's like a physical
• 1:03:14
  piece of paper. Yeah, it's physical piece of
• 1:03:16
  paper that was worth an amount of money.
• 1:03:19
  Just explaining it for her because I can have her audience.
• 1:03:22
  It's like under 30. Yeah, so I got arrested and when
• 1:03:24
  I got arrested, I had $0.82 in my pocket because I just paid
• 1:03:29
  rent, just paid bills. I had no fucking money.
• 1:03:32
  I was driving to work and got arrested with $0.82 and then
• 1:03:35
  when I got out of Denton County Jail, they cut me a check for
• 1:03:38
  $0.82. I thought it was fucking
• 1:03:40
  hilarious. How are?
• 1:03:42
  You going to go, you can't go cash that, you know, like yeah,
• 1:03:47
  like they're probably charged you a fee because you don't you
• 1:03:49
  don't you don't have an account like a bank account there.
• 1:03:51
  So it's like in the fees, you know what I'm saying?
• 1:03:53
  It's like and and it it takes probably more time and more
• 1:03:56
  money to write that check out than if they just gave you the
• 1:03:59
  $0.82 or a dollar bill. Yeah.
• 1:04:01
  So it's like kind of like a fuck you if you want.
• 1:04:04
  To save the save the taxpayers money money, if you gave me,
• 1:04:07
  just give me a dollar of money. Actually, actually probably
• 1:04:10
  their best investment because it gave you motivation to become a
• 1:04:13
  productive member of society and.
• 1:04:15
  Yeah, I mean. I think it was giving back to
• 1:04:17
  the taxpayers and 10,000 more times than you would have if you
• 1:04:23
  went. That went the opposite way, you
• 1:04:25
  know, from. Yeah, I mean, I have it.
• 1:04:27
  It's framed because I used to keep it on my fridge and that
• 1:04:31
  was when I was living in Denton. Then when I moved to Austin,
• 1:04:34
  like I thought it was fucking hilarious.
• 1:04:35
  So I just kept the check because I was like, this is such a
• 1:04:38
  stupid check, why would you even cut this for me?
• 1:04:40
  So it was almost comical. And you know, now, I mean, I've
• 1:04:44
  had it for quite a while and it's framed and it's like, it's,
• 1:04:49
  it reminds me of, you know, like you don't want to forget where
• 1:04:52
  you came from. So it just reminds me of how far
• 1:04:54
  I've actually come from, you know, having $0.82 in my pocket,
• 1:04:58
  losing my job, girlfriend dumping me because I got
• 1:05:02
  arrested, being stuck in Denton, Uber depressed, working at some
• 1:05:06
  call center with a bunch of people.
• 1:05:09
  Chip on. It's a chip on your shoulder
• 1:05:12
  personified and this. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:05:15
  It's, it's like a it's, you know, reminds me.
• 1:05:16
  It's a yeah fuck you watch, but then also hey dude, remember how
• 1:05:21
  far you've come. Be grateful.
• 1:05:22
  Yeah, be grateful and just, you know, be smart, you know cuz.
• 1:05:25
  And you know you can go back. No, I'm all about that heaven.
• 1:05:27
  Like those, you know, like Michael Jordan used to like just
• 1:05:30
  make shit up, like the people said about him that wasn't even
• 1:05:32
  true. Just to get try to get an edge
• 1:05:33
  on him. Like I'm, I'm about that shit.
• 1:05:35
  Yeah. Like anything to find, you know,
• 1:05:37
  like motivation, that's like healthy, obviously.
• 1:05:40
  Yeah, and it's like it's all fucked up.
• 1:05:43
  Look at that. It's a fall like.
• 1:05:44
  OK, So this is the second to last one.
• 1:05:48
  This one is the first and only of these ten that is in the four
• 1:05:54
  out of five flames. That means the last one is five
• 1:05:56
  out of five. So we're going 111122334 5.
• 1:06:04
  So we're escalating quickly here.
• 1:06:07
  We're like, what is it like when you come out of like, or when
• 1:06:09
  you land in like Vegas or you come out of Vegas, you got to
• 1:06:11
  just go like vertical to get over like the mountain.
• 1:06:13
  Like I don't know. That's what we're doing.
• 1:06:18
  Oh, I have tried this one. I don't know if I remember it.
• 1:06:21
  All right. It is the fire roasted garlic
• 1:06:24
  and habanero pepper sauce and condiment Melinda's fire roasted
• 1:06:30
  savory, rich and fiery, these roasted pepper sauce is unlike
• 1:06:33
  any other made them Melinda's way with whole fresh ingredients
• 1:06:36
  and the best habanero Peppers on the planet.
• 1:06:38
  Slow roasted over an open flame. Enjoy this masterpiece on tacos,
• 1:06:41
  burritos, quesadillas and on practically everything.
• 1:06:45
  Shout out Melinda. Fuck, I'm kind of scared because
• 1:06:53
  I'm like I'm looking for one that's like these one of these
• 1:06:56
  hot ones that doesn't say habanero on it.
• 1:07:00
  That's this one has habanero last two.
• 1:07:04
  That's really good. Is it?
• 1:07:07
  Yeah, I like that. That might light you up.
• 1:07:09
  Fire roasted garlic and habanero.
• 1:07:17
  That might get you it's it's got a slow burn to it.
• 1:07:23
  It's good. This is the stage of the Wing of
• 1:07:27
  the Damned. It doesn't taste like anything
• 1:07:31
  anymore. Only suffering remains, Joseph.
• 1:07:36
  But you're doing good. Are you doing good?
• 1:07:40
  You're doing good. Hey, I'm good.
• 1:07:43
  I'm right here with you. I'm right here with you.
• 1:07:45
  We're riding this. I'm only this mayhem.
• 1:07:47
  We're on this training together, Joseph, we're almost there.
• 1:07:50
  Question #9 Give me your most controversial take that has
• 1:07:57
  nothing to do with politics, something you believe that would
• 1:08:01
  start an argument at a dinner party.
• 1:08:05
  But I need like that, you know, just give us, give us the take.
• 1:08:12
  Controversial take Start an argument.
• 1:08:16
  Not about politics. Fucking hot take, bro.
• 1:08:23
  While you think I'll, I'll, I'll give an anecdote because it just
• 1:08:26
  hit me. So when I was getting the wings
• 1:08:30
  at the store today, I want to give a shout out to Jesus.
• 1:08:34
  Was the guy working the deli? I came up, I came in, I was
• 1:08:39
  like, hey man, I need 10 plane wings.
• 1:08:40
  Do you have 10? He comes over.
• 1:08:42
  He's like counts. He goes, I don't.
• 1:08:44
  He goes, if you give me 7 minutes, I can get you 10 wings.
• 1:08:47
  I say give me 7 minutes. I told him what's going on with
• 1:08:49
  the podcast. Tell him, I shout him out, shout
• 1:08:52
  out. Jesus.
• 1:08:53
  On my way out, run into a guy who's in charge of getting all
• 1:08:57
  the carts. Met him before.
• 1:09:00
  He always asked I had my dog with me.
• 1:09:02
  He always asked if he could pet my dog.
• 1:09:04
  He's got like 25 carts that he's pushing like up a ramp.
• 1:09:08
  And I already know he's going to ask me.
• 1:09:10
  So I actually stop and he goes, can I pay your dog while he's
• 1:09:12
  like in the middle of this, like the most carts ever?
• 1:09:15
  And I'm like, yeah, I just finished doing that.
• 1:09:17
  He goes, Oh yeah, I'll finish. And so then he pushes them up.
• 1:09:19
  He starts petting my dog. We start talking.
• 1:09:22
  I thought that, you know, he's like seems like maybe on the
• 1:09:25
  spectrum. I've talked to him a number of
• 1:09:26
  times. Then he hits me with he he goes
• 1:09:32
  asked if my dog's a pit bull. Tell him I got adna test for a
• 1:09:37
  gift one time and she's 100% that bitch.
• 1:09:40
  No, I was like, yeah, it's all pit bulls in her family.
• 1:09:42
  And he goes, I got a 23 Andme test.
• 1:09:45
  All of a sudden I'm like talking to a different person and he
• 1:09:48
  goes, he goes, no, that company's going out of business.
• 1:09:51
  And he starts explaining to me the details of 23 Andme's
• 1:09:56
  decline as a business, which I've actually like, you know,
• 1:10:00
  yeah, we talked about it, talking about it, right.
• 1:10:03
  But like, out of nowhere, this guy who only asked me to pet my
• 1:10:06
  dog, you know, hits me with that.
• 1:10:08
  I go, yeah, I know, I know. And then he goes, he goes, well,
• 1:10:13
  my, my results were I'm like part German.
• 1:10:16
  He goes. He goes like a little bit of
• 1:10:18
  Native American. I was like, oh, that's cool.
• 1:10:22
  And I'm like, you know, chatting up with him with the chicken
• 1:10:26
  wings for the show in my hand and my dog and and then he goes
• 1:10:30
  and then a big part of my family MyHeritage, they're like in the
• 1:10:36
  Middle East and like a in in a cult.
• 1:10:40
  So I got a lot of cold in me. I'm like, wait, what?
• 1:10:43
  And then he's like, I was like, Colt's not like jerk.
• 1:10:45
  Like it's like, you know, it's like something you are a part or
• 1:10:48
  just do participate. And it's not a like a you're
• 1:10:51
  you're from cult. And then he then he breaks down
• 1:10:55
  to me like cult like what like the definition of a cult is and
• 1:11:01
  and how it its effect on society and how it like manifests.
• 1:11:07
  And so therefore, he gives himself a title of something,
• 1:11:09
  something atheist. What she explains to me is that
• 1:11:13
  means that he thinks all religions are inherently bad.
• 1:11:18
  And then then he then he caveats it again.
• 1:11:22
  This is like somebody who I thought was on the spectrum and,
• 1:11:26
  you know, special needs and still might be, but I don't
• 1:11:30
  know. We're having this conversation
• 1:11:31
  like just crazy. So just like those to show you
• 1:11:33
  like, you never know, don't judge people.
• 1:11:36
  And then she's like, he's like, yeah, so but except for the
• 1:11:41
  Buddhist. And he goes, yeah, he's like, I
• 1:11:43
  feel like religions that commit genocide.
• 1:11:44
  He goes except for the Buddhist. I go, oh, let me point out.
• 1:11:47
  And they, you know, people in this country listen to the pod
• 1:11:50
  in Myanmar right now. Buddhists are committing
• 1:11:53
  genocide against Muslim people in their country.
• 1:11:56
  Facts. Not allegedly so.
• 1:11:58
  And he goes, OK, but that's the exception.
• 1:12:01
  I go, OK, but even Buddhists succumb to this thing that you
• 1:12:05
  say all religions do. So you're right.
• 1:12:06
  It's like to me it's proving the point.
• 1:12:08
  Then he goes and gives me a breakdown.
• 1:12:10
  I guess part of also I missed this part, part of his genes was
• 1:12:13
  in Turkey or maybe this is the Middle Eastern cult was like in
• 1:12:17
  Istanbul. So he's breaking down to me the
• 1:12:20
  Ottoman Empire fighting the visit teens for Istanbul back in
• 1:12:25
  like centuries ago. And he gives me two theories on
• 1:12:27
  the dictator of the visit teens and the demise of them getting
• 1:12:32
  overtaken by the Ottomans. 1 theory is like the dictator, the
• 1:12:36
  emperor heroically went to battle and then she got fucked
• 1:12:41
  up and he died. The other is that he fled like a
• 1:12:43
  coward. And this is what the guy says
• 1:12:45
  verbatim. He goes and let his people get
• 1:12:47
  murdered and molested by the, the, the Ottomans.
• 1:12:50
  And I was like what? And then he goes and I go, OK,
• 1:12:55
  it's just me and I'm talking, I go, I was like, what do you
• 1:12:57
  think? Which one?
• 1:12:58
  Like which one do you think happened?
• 1:13:00
  And he goes, he goes. These are very controversial,
• 1:13:03
  like, topics like, you know, there's people on this one side
• 1:13:06
  and on this other. I was like, OK, now I get it.
• 1:13:09
  And kind of like says it again. I go, but what's your hunch?
• 1:13:12
  And he goes, I think he was probably the coward and ran
• 1:13:16
  because most emperors aren't, like, going into battle with
• 1:13:19
  their people. I was like, yeah, that's really
• 1:13:21
  a smart take. Like, I agree.
• 1:13:24
  And he, like, brought up what's going on in Israel and Gaza in,
• 1:13:28
  like, genocide multiple times. And then I just told them Hamas
• 1:13:36
  wants to and would commit genocide on Israelis and Jewish
• 1:13:40
  people, but they can't. Israel could on Palestinians but
• 1:13:45
  they don't. And then asked him his name, He
• 1:13:48
  said Spencer, I said nice to see you again.
• 1:13:52
  And I walked away. Those are the two I wanted to
• 1:13:56
  shout out for the Wings. It's such a trippy conversation
• 1:13:59
  just out of nowhere. Trying to get over here to set
• 1:14:02
  up the podcast. I've got so one that would
• 1:14:06
  controversial because, you know, I'm big into conspiracy
• 1:14:09
  theories. Love conspiracy theories.
• 1:14:11
  Yeah, for sure. Why?
• 1:14:12
  Don't. We so that the not that the
• 1:14:18
  Earth's hollow, but that there are cavernous areas in the
• 1:14:23
  Earth's crust because like gravity, whenever the Earth is
• 1:14:27
  forming, it's not going to be like that pie chart like they
• 1:14:30
  show us where it's like the crust of mantle, you know,
• 1:14:33
  inner, core, outer. Layers.
• 1:14:35
  And there are, but I don't think it's like that.
• 1:14:37
  Concise like. There's overlap.
• 1:14:41
  Yeah, I mean, I would feel like that's partially why fucking
• 1:14:44
  volcanoes exist is because there's.
• 1:14:49
  Magma for the audio on Myers Lloyd Joseph's frozen, but it's
• 1:14:57
  probably my side. Joseph, come back.
• 1:15:34
  All right, just as back. He froze for a second, Exited
• 1:15:37
  the Zoom meeting. Booted me.
• 1:15:41
  No, no, I know. But I mean, no worries.
• 1:15:45
  It's because the Melinda's too hot to handle.
• 1:15:49
  So we'll just get to the last and final sauce and question
• 1:15:53
  just in case we have any more issues.
• 1:15:57
  Are you ready, Joseph? The final sauce, the five flame
• 1:16:03
  out of five Melinda's Creamy Style Ghost Pepper Wing Sauce
• 1:16:09
  and condiment a fiery blend of ghost cayenne and our signature
• 1:16:15
  habanero Peppers with vegetables and garlic for wings You can't
• 1:16:19
  stop eating made the Melinda's way with whole fresh ingredients
• 1:16:22
  and the best Peppers on the planet.
• 1:16:24
  Enjoyed on wings, chicken, firecracker, shrimp wraps,
• 1:16:28
  sandwiches and practically on everything that is the Ghost
• 1:16:31
  Pepper Wing Sauce Creamy style 5 out of five.
• 1:16:35
  The hottest sauce you ready? We've kind of been dabbing this
• 1:16:38
  whole time. I've been covering mine.
• 1:16:43
  No why? I meant like on if you watch hot
• 1:16:45
  ones they're already like pre sauce with each one and then on
• 1:16:50
  the final one they add even more sauce which they call a final
• 1:16:53
  dab. But the process of me putting us
• 1:16:56
  putting the sauce on each wing is the dab action in the final
• 1:17:03
  dab of doom. The end is nigh.
• 1:17:07
  One last hit for glory or destruction.
• 1:17:12
  Are you ready, Joseph? This has been a pleasure.
• 1:17:14
  The end is nigh. The end is nigh.
• 1:17:18
  Cheers, Brad. Cheers.
• 1:17:25
  OK, Joseph, you're, you're sweating, your lips are numb.
• 1:17:30
  I've got one final question, if you it's.
• 1:17:35
  Good. If you could give yourself
• 1:17:37
  younger self a single sentence of advice, one that would
• 1:17:42
  actually stick, what would you say?
• 1:17:51
  You'll get through it. There you have it folks, just
• 1:17:55
  like Joseph. Old man Huggy got through
• 1:17:58
  Melendez Mayhem. The gauntlet of the fire
• 1:18:02
  breathers over at Melinda's Hot Sauce.
• 1:18:05
  He's telling his younger self you'll get through it.
• 1:18:09
  Amazing, Joseph. How are you holding up with that
• 1:18:11
  sauce? I'm trying to get there.
• 1:18:16
  You have it. Sounds.
• 1:18:17
  Good hot sauces down, 10 burning questions answered, and one man
• 1:18:22
  who stared into the abyss. But it threw it.
• 1:18:26
  Joseph, you made it. Hold on, Joseph, let me get you
• 1:18:31
  something. What was your favorite now
• 1:18:39
  you've tried them all? One second, Joseph.
• 1:18:45
  Because I got to give you something, Joseph.
• 1:18:47
  You made it to the end of Melinda's mayhem.
• 1:18:49
  Your lips are numb, your eyes are glossy.
• 1:18:51
  Your soul may or may not have left your body somewhere around
• 1:18:54
  sauce number. What was it, 7, seven.
• 1:18:59
  But you did it. Now is your moment.
• 1:19:00
  The camera is yours. The mic is yours.
• 1:19:03
  Plug whatever you want. Shout out whoever you want.
• 1:19:06
  Let the people know what's good. Oh man, he didn't tell me this
• 1:19:11
  was going to happen. It's living at the end of every
• 1:19:13
  Hot Ones episode, you just. I told you, I don't watch that
• 1:19:16
  one. I don't watch that.
• 1:19:16
  You need to watch one. Just one.
• 1:19:19
  Go ahead. It's your mother.
• 1:19:20
  Shout out anybody you want. George Santos, whoever you want.
• 1:19:24
  Shout out George Santos for sure.
• 1:19:25
  No shout out to just all the amazing people that I have in my
• 1:19:28
  life. Friends, family, everybody.
• 1:19:31
  I mean, honestly, life is a crazy trip and the best like
• 1:19:37
  advice I could give anybody or something to end on would be
• 1:19:41
  listen to others. If you have the opportunity to
• 1:19:44
  help somebody out, do it because you never know when you're going
• 1:19:47
  to need help from somebody. And I feel like what you put
• 1:19:50
  into this universe you get back. So it'd be be be kind to others
• 1:19:56
  and go out of your way for other people when you can't, because
• 1:19:58
  you never know when somebody might do that shit for you.
• 1:20:02
  And listen to talk. Shit.
• 1:20:05
  Yeah, I was gonna say listen to others.
• 1:20:06
  We are others. Listen to us.
• 1:20:07
  Shout out to Melinda's Hot Sauce for making our mouse supper and
• 1:20:11
  our podcast better. Shout out to you for watching,
• 1:20:14
  listening and probably cringing all the way long.
• 1:20:17
  All the long way. As always, like, subscribe,
• 1:20:21
  share with someone who thinks they can handle the heat.
• 1:20:24
  And we'll see you next time on Talk Shit or Get Off the Pod
• 1:20:27
  where the takes stay hot and the wings stay hotter.
• 1:20:31
  Yeah, shout out, Melinda. This shit's good.
• 1:20:33
  Appreciate it. What?
• 1:20:36
  Was your favorite Joseph? Take it easy man.
• 1:20:39
  Now, what was your favorite? Oh my favorite.
• 1:20:42
  Probably the goat. Probably the ghost pepper or the
• 1:20:48
  I like the fire roasted too. And the honey western because
• 1:20:51
  that's just different. Those are probably be my faves,
• 1:20:54
  but I mean, that ghost pepper is good.
• 1:20:56
  I love spicy, so that ghost Peppers got heat to it.
• 1:20:59
  That's what I'm always looking for something that's going to
• 1:21:01
  make me feel like, oh, that's hot because it takes a lot.
• 1:21:04
  That one's that one's hot. I saw the ghost pepper and I was
• 1:21:07
  like, let's fucking go you. Know what?
• 1:21:09
  It's hot too. Shout out.
• 1:21:14
  You'll be good, go fuck yourselves.