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SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_EPISODE _43 _ HOST TRIVEDA HARRS · DA CREW Podcast

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A nursing their sisting all things and what they used to be? Enough,
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where had all the blue sky's? But boys do that? Bloats from the
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north and something s W Pursinger singers all things and what they used to be?
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No, wait, second, Dallas, what worse A A L A
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Hello, Hello, Hello, and welcome to the Crew podcast. I
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am the visionary Queen Angela and welcome to season two. Want to thank you
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for tuning in and for all of your support throughout season one. We're back
3:07
them divas of the airwaves, so thank you for joining us tonight. Share
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this with someone in your please it was sweet, sweete sweet, it was
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the sweet sweet good evening. And welcome to Believe in the Journey podcast,
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where I'm your host Trevita Harris, and I want to thank you for tuning
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in this Sunday. You know we can't do anything without going to God in
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prayer, and y'all please be occasial with me. I am having so many
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technical difficulties. I am having to use my phone tonight because my laptop is
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doing its own little thing. But needless to say, the show must go
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on and God is in control of everything. The devil does not have any
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say so in what we have going on tonight. But tonight I have missed
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hoy Worthy and Worthily, and we're going to be talking about how to empower
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yourself as well as those around you. And before we do that, I
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am going to go to God in prayer and then we're going to bring her
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up and we're going to have a conversation about empowerment. And your precious holy
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name, Jesus, thank you for being here with us as you do each
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and every time we come before you. Let the ears who are listening tonight,
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let them take what is necessary for them to become who you have created
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them to be. Everything that we do is designed by you. Nothing that
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we go through is never a mistake. It is all part of the plan
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that you have for us. So let us continue to walk in the purpose
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in which you have created us and your precious and holy name. Thank you,
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Amen, and please welcome my guest Ms. Tony to the show.
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Hello, Hello, Hello, thank you for having me, Thank you for
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being here, and thank you for being here for all of the shenanigans.
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Right now with my laptop and my phone because it was working fine, as
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you know before, and then it just went out. I have no idea
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what is going on, but anyway, thank you for being here, and
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please tell our guests a little bit about you. My name is Tony Lashawn
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Worthly. I am a singer, songwriter, an educator and author and a
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speaker. I am in love with Jesus Christ. That is my most important
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relationship. And I just love to encourage people and give them hope through music,
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through messages, through ministry. I just like to shine the light of
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Jesus with integrity and share the love of Jesus. I just am so excited
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to be here today and something really great is about to happen. That's why,
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you know, the enemy is trying to give us all these titles exactly.
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You know, some thing good is happening. The devil tries to take
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credit and try to move you away from it and get you frustrated so that
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you don't stay on tack task. And that's not gonna happen. I don't
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care how many obstacles or anything that he throws in the path. I'm still
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gonna do what God said to do. You know, I'm stubborn and hardheaded
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that way, and I guess that's why God created me. This way because
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he knows I'm not gonna stop. I might get knocked down, but I'm
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gonna get back up. But you know, as I was reading over your
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bio, you mentioned songwriter. So of course you can't get away tonight without
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singing a little bit of the song that helped you to get through your anxiety
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and things of that nature. Now when when did you know that you had
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the gift to sing? Because not everybody has that gift, but we gonna
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sing anyoy. So this is a funny story. My family is musical.
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Everybody in my family sings except my mom, and so growing up, my
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dad's voice is incredible, like incredible. So I grew up listening to him
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seeing in church around the house. My sister was in chorus. I tried
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to follow in her footsteps and get in chorus. We were both in the
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youth choir. But when I was in the youth choir and when I was
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in chorus, I was like, I am nowhere near as good as either
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of them, and I need to just like hang it up on the singing
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thing. So I took the theater path and went into musical theater. I
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saw my sister and I saw play. I was like that, that's what
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I want to do. I want to do like the acting and all of
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that. So after my when I auditioned for my first show, I was
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my friend. My director who's now my friend would tell you I was very
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overconfident about my abilities. I got cast in the ensemble. I had like
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one line solo that I just like couldn't mess up because it was so easy.
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But as I did more and more musical theater, then I learned to
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find tune my voice more. Our musical director would work with me. My
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senior year, I got the role of the Queen of Hearts and Alice in
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Wonderland. And the reason I got the role was because I didn't learn singing
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formally, like you know, reading the notes and doing all of that sight
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reading. I learned by listening and mimicking. And so our musical director would
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hit a note on the piano and I would mimic it. Lim Yeah,
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I was the only one who could hit the note in the Queen of Hearts
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songs, so I would say, well to get that part. And then
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in college I joined an a cappella group and that even further helped my ear,
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Like I sing my ear if I can hear it, I can repeat
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it basically. So in college and like later in high school and in colle
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it is when I really started to have people tell me like, oh,
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you can sing like and I I really heard that before when I was younger,
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I was like, nope, I'm leaving that to my dad and my
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sister. But as I got older in college, and yeah, that's when
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I started using my voice more in my late teens early twenties. Okay,
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well that's I mean, some of us we can hold a note as long
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as we're like in the bathroom, singing in the shower, or you know,
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we're the best musicians singing in the car. You can't tell us that
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we can't sing lead the background, vocals and everything. So we're having our
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own many concert yes, all parts you know, I sung, and the
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children's choir and the course in middle school. Well in elementary, you know,
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you got music, but that's a little different. But in middle school
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I did the choir and then I did in high school I did course as
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well, but that was never really my thing. I could hold a note
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and that was it. I'm an alto, but that's that's as far as
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it goes. I'm a good backup singer. I'm not a good lead singer.
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That's just I know where my space is. So I'll sing backup for
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you, but don't ask me to sing lead. And I think that's more
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so because I'm very, very shy about it. So you know, but
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do you think that singing and being in the theater helped you to overcome your
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stress and your anxiety and stuff like that. So music definitely has been my
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outlet, whether it's writing it or whether it's singing it. Like if I'm
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having a hard day, I literally will sing my way out of it.
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It's like Dori and uh finding amals like just keep coming, like just keep
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singing, just keep singing, like until I get to that point where like,
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okay, I start to feel better. It just brings such a sense
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of joy and peace and then so yeah, I definitely want to like crank
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up the music in the car and just sing at the top of my lungs
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and I sing all the parts, and I harmonize and I do all the
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things. Like music is so powerful that way, which is why I use
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my music to help other people. Like I released my EP into September of
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twenty twenty two, and all of the songs on that EP are basically from
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some sort of mental health issue breakdown that I had and writing myself out of
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it, you know, kind of writing my thoughts down and getting you know,
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scriptures to help me figure out what to do in that particular scenario.
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So every single song on there has some sort of background of I was going
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through something. The pastor once told me. It was like, you know,
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when you're going through, like the pain that you're going through and the
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things that you're going through, it is for your music, Like it gives
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you the subject material for your music, and then that is also helping you
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reach other people because people aren't always willing to listen to you if you just
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want to talk to them, but if you can say the message to them
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through music. People love listening to music, So if you can put it
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to music with some you know, catchy lyrics, then people get it.
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Yeah. I agree with that because I feel like music transcends oh so many
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areas because music it can either sometimes it can make you sad, but other
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times it's definitely upbeat. Because I will definitely turn some music on to wash
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the dishes, to cook dinner and be singing, you know whatever. Like
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my granddaughter, she loves to hear me sing, and sometimes she won't go
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to sleep unless I sing her to sleep. And I'm like, I'm not
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even in the mood to sing, but she's like okay, and I'll start
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singing and she goes right on to sleep. So I don't know if that's
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a good or bad thing, because you can't really say. But most of
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the time, if she wants me to sing her to sleep, I'll sing
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you know, the Easy Bitsy Spider or something like that, or like,
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she has this the You Are My Sunshine song that is like her favorite song
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that she likes for me to sing. So I'll sing that and she dozes
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right off to sleep. But if I stop singing, she wakes up and
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she's like, what are you doing? The song's not over? Keep going.
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But music definitely has the power to change your mood, change your attitude
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about many different things. When was the first time you wrote a song that
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helped you get through? I thought you were going to ask me about my
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first song. I was like, you ask this question, Oh my gosh,
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Okay, the first time I wrote a song that helped me get through?
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That's a totally different question. Okay, So this song, the song
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Don't You Worry, which was on my p the first version of that song
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was written in two thousand and three. Okay, it was in two thousand
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and three that that was around this time, was in my last year of
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law school, and that was around the time that I was diagnosed with generalized
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anxiety disorder. But I had heard all of my life be anxious for nothing,
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and I just was really conflicted because I was like, Lord, the
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doctors are telling me this is the way my brain is set up and that
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I can't help it. And then the Bible is telling me that I'm not
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allowed to be anxious about anything, and I just don't know what to do.
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And so I sat down and I started writing those scriptures in Philippians for
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six through not just like writing down ideas, and that's where the song Don't
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You Worry came from. So fast forward about nine years after that, I
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started recording music and I recorded like a pop version of it, and that
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became pretty popular, like the lyric video on my YouTube channel, but it
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always just felt like it needed a little something different. So then ten years
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after that, I got with my producer friend Jared Jones, and I was
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like, hey, I really love this song, but it needs a different
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like something like I can't even put my finger on it, but I want
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it to be upbeat and I want it to be happy, because you know,
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when you're going through an anxious moment that is not a happy time,
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and so you have a song that is upbeat, that's happy. And the
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first version was upbeat and happy, it just wasn't like exactly where I wanted
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to be. But yeah, so we put together like an upbeat, jazzy
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version of the song and it took off. It was It became the most
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popular song on my EP, and then last summer I released a dance remix
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to it, so I'm like, yeah, no, anybody that's feeling anxious,
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they can like jump up and move and you know, dance around the
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house. It's a song like you see on TV all the time. I'm
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one of those people, so I know that's a realistic thing to do when
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people are having a bad day and they're like, dance it out. That's
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literally me in my house by myself, music cranked up, dancing all over
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the house with my cat staring at me, like what in the heck are
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you doing, mama? But like, sometimes you just need So I was
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like, yep, I'm going to give people a dance it out song.
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So I took the don't You Worry from the EPU. We did a dance
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remix to it. It's very like fun to dance too. So that would
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be the first song that I wrote that was really like trying to get me
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out of a moment. And through writing that song, that's when I was
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like, oh, yeah, there is more to that verse. It doesn't
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stop at being be anxious for nothing. It goes on but in everything,
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with prayer and thanksgiving, make your question to God. So that helped me
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to realize that it wasn't that like, it wasn't that I was never going
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to be anxious, But when I am anxious, I have to take that
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to the Lord in prayer and leave it there with him and trust that He
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is going to take care of whatever it is. Yeah, and I agree
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with that. Anytime I'm feeling anxious, I always ask the question God,
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what is this that I'm feeling and why? And what can I do to
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calm myself? You know, because I have anxiety. I don't like big
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crowds. I cringe at big crowds, and I'm not necessarily a loner,
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like I can socialize with the best of the best, but I tend to
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be by myself or with my kids, and that's my comfort space. And
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so whenever it's like okay, I you know, people get a little upset
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when you ask the question, well, who's gonna be there when they invite
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you places? Because I'm that person, I'm gonna ask how many people who's
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gonna be there? Is there somebody that I don't really care to be around.
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I can still be cordial, but I'm gonna be a little anxious about
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being in that space. Now. People who know me truly, they don't
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notice the like the I guess you could say, the anxiety in my face
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and my mannerism and things, and I'm just I will go sit in the
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corner and they're like, well, she's not socializing. No, I'm socializing.
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But this is just as good as it's gonna get into life. Fill
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the room out. And then if I feel like it's a little bit too
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much, yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and exit stage left. I'm gonna
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go home. And that's about it. But music definitely can soothe you.
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It can definitely make you feel better. We have a question from Black Domina
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says, if you could collaborate with the celebrity to do a gospel song,
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who would that be and why? Okay, Tremaine Hawkins, I don't even
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have to think about it. I don't have anything else to do this Tremaine
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Hawkins other than my father's voice. Like that is the voice of my childhood.
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So her album came out like right when I was born, or like
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maybe a couple of years before I was born. Her album, Tremaine,
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Yeah, it is like the soundtrack to my childhood. And her voice is
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just amazing and like the things that she can do with her voice, and
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just that whole album is so like it just speaks to the musical theater kid
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in me. I mean we're talking about an album that is forty fifty years
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old, almost almost fifty years old. But if you listen to it,
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like from top to bottom. I can listen to every track on there.
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And then on one of Walter Hawkins, she had the song He's that kind
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of friend. Okay, he's that kind of friend? Is that song kept
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me here? When I say it kept me here? I was in a
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dark place, and I was thinking about taking a handful of pills. Not
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in my mind, not thinking like oh I want to die, but just
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I want to sleep and I want to sleep for a really long time.
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And as I was had those pills in my hand, that song came into
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my spirit. I just heard if you ever need a friend, and that's
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all I needed to and then I just started singing the song and it just
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started ministering to me, and it's like, I feel like I know her.
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I've been trying to like find any kind of I'm like, if anybody
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has any kind of way to get in contact with Tremaine Hawkins list like in
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a heartbeat, like I mean, the Lord could take me right there.
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I just like, yeah, definitely, you are speaking into existence. So
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know that that is coming, that is on the way, because I feel
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like anytime we dream something, and especially if it's vivid, God has shown
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you that it's coming. You just got to be patient and be ready when
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it gets there, because it's coming. So you've already spoken that into existence
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and it's gonna happen, So just prepare yourself because it's coming. It's coming.
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Now with having dealt with I guess you could say call it a thought
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of suicide. Your music kept you in a way that let you know that
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they're still greater on the other side of what you're going through. And I
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feel like we've all had those conversations with ourselves that whatever we're going through,
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that it got to be better, a little better on the other side,
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because right now the pain that I'm feeling are the anxiety or the stress or
22:53
whatever, has got to be better on the other side than it is here.
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And I don't don't want to have to deal with this in the presence
23:02
anymore. I think we've all wrestled without those emotions and those feelings, and
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some of us have even attempted and are not gotten close to it, have
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thought about it like had the peelbot on your hand, and you're just like,
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Okay, God, if it's not my time, give me a sign.
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And I can honestly say that I've been in that space before, and
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it's like, God, what is it that I'm supposed to be doing,
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because right now this is too much. I don't know what I'm supposed to
23:33
be doing. And in that instant, my phone will rain. Somebody else
23:37
is needing like tears are streaming down my face and everything, and I'm like,
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I'm just over it. I am completely tired. I have nothing left
23:44
to give. What is it that I'm supposed to still be doing here?
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Because right now this can't be it And I rather come to you than to
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keep enduring this. And if I'm still supposed to be here, give me
23:59
the sign. And every single time I've been in a space like that,
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my phone rings and somebody's in need of something that I have, and they
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don't know that I'm crying on the other end. They can't hear that in
24:12
my voice or anything like that. But I always once I get off that
24:18
call or whatever it is, I always say thank you God, because there
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was no one else but him. So I understand that completely. It's a
24:26
topic for us as black people that mental health is really not talked about as
24:32
much as I feel like it should be talked about because we carry so much
24:36
weight on our shoulders, especially women. We carry so much because they consistently
24:41
want us to be so strong. And when either we're too strong, we're
24:45
too much. If we're not strong, we're too weak. So it's like,
24:49
where do we find a happy medium that everybody is pleased, but most
24:55
importantly, we're pleased with ourselves without having to compromise our boundaries and our mental
25:02
health at the same time. Yeah, I feel like one of my main
25:08
issues was like identity, not knowing who I was. Anxiety had me in
25:18
a place where all I wanted to do was make other people happy. And
25:23
I felt like if other people were happy with me, impressed with me,
25:26
pleased with me, whatever the case would be, then I was doing what
25:32
I was supposed to do. And that was so that became My identity was
25:36
so tied to how other people felt about me, and that led to a
25:45
lot of anxiety that led to a lot of depression that led to a lot
25:51
of other things because I was living my life for other people and not even
25:56
understanding what it really was that I wanted from me, that who I was
26:02
supposed to be, and I had to take a step back and really find
26:07
who Tony is right and really grasp the concept of whose I am right.
26:15
I love my family. You were mentioned to your family earlier. Me and
26:18
my sister joke like, outside of maybe three to five people, our family
26:22
is our best friends. Like we type, we rolled deep and we rolled
26:26
together like oh, I guess there's something going on and we can all be
26:30
there. We go all be there, be like front Road Center those okay,
26:37
ye to my best friend, but like my family my people, right,
26:48
And so then my identity was like tied to them, Like who does
26:52
my family want me to be? What is my role in my family?
26:56
You know, like my I don't have children of my own, brother,
27:00
my sister, I have kids. They you know, when my nieces and
27:03
nephews were little and I was able to help out with them and take them
27:07
to do fun things and you know, do all this stuff, then I
27:11
felt like, oh that, like I'm really living the life, right.
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And then they got older and they needed to be less and less, and
27:18
then it was yeah, okay, Lord, what actually is my purpose?
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Because they don't anymore? And like my personal purpose was so tied into my
27:26
role in my family. Even you know that I didn't really know who I
27:33
was and what I wanted and what God wanted for me. And for the
27:38
last probably six months, my prayer as being God, I don't want to
27:44
want anything that you don't want for me. I want your desires to be
27:51
my desires. I want your you know, willll to be what I want
27:56
and that's it. I don't want to want anything outside of that because I
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am his and he is mine, and we're abiding in each other and that's
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my identity. And when I just you just get down to the basics of
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that and just understand that that takes away a lot of the stress and the
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anxiety and the depression and a lot of the mental health issues. But you're
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right, we don't talk about these things enough because it's Oh, if I
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show people that I'm having this issue, then their people are gonna think I'm
28:30
weak. And so yeah, called it like sensitive all my life and call
28:36
it all my life, like it hasn't stopped me from achieving one thing that
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God put in my mind to and all the while, like you know,
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there were times when I when I I went about like with a facade,
28:51
like trying to show that I'm strong and everything's okay, And that was,
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like you said, too heavy of a weight to there. I had to
28:56
drop that mask, like, no, I am not carrying this load to
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make other people feel comfortable. Yeah, and I am feeling a kind of
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way. Yes, I take it to God first. I try to deal
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with it on my own God and going and a hearty. Don't let me
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deal with it on my own because I'm will probably go to jail, and
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that ain't where I'm trying to go. So I always go to him first,
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and like, guy, look here, give me the strength to keep
29:30
my mouth closed and keep my hands to myself, because you know, people
29:34
duck definitely love to push your buttons. I've been called mean my entire life,
29:40
but I don't get where that's coming from, in a sense of I'm
29:45
not mean unless I'm provoked, you know, because I'm the nicest person you
29:48
can easily get along with. I'm not gonna bother you unless you're bothering me,
29:53
and so I stay in that space. But I will not let anybody
29:57
talk to me crazy and go over the boundaries that I've set. So when
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people say I'm mean, I'm like, okay, well take that up with
30:04
God. Don't take it up with me, because he created me this way.
30:07
Go talk to him about it, and whatever answer he gives you,
30:11
that's the one we're finish stand on because I'm not finna go back and forth
30:15
with you. I just ain't gonna do. I know what I said,
30:18
and what I said is no, you don't like know that ain't got nothing
30:21
to do with me, Take it up with somebody else. But the other
30:23
thing is I used to be a people pleaser because I didn't want anybody to
30:29
be upset with me. I wanted everybody to you know, I wanted peace.
30:34
I never wanted the foolishness of, you know, the arguing, because
30:40
I saw a lot of that growing up as a kid. So as I
30:44
got older, I veered away from arguing and all of that kind of stuff
30:48
because I had enough of that growing up. And so and two thousand and
30:53
five, I went to therapy and the hardest question my therapist asked me was
30:59
what did I do for myself? Because I was married at the time,
31:03
I had three small kids at the time, my youngest was four, and
31:07
I had my mom also who was living with us, and so I was
31:12
talking about everything that I was doing for everybody, also working a full time
31:17
job as well. And the question that she asked me was what did I
31:21
do for myself? Because I had talked about everybody else and I did not
31:26
talk And I was like, I don't even know how to answer that,
31:29
Like what do you mean? And she was like, what do you do
31:33
for you? Who are you, and I said, I'm a wife,
31:37
I'm a mother, I'm a daughter, I'm a sister. I mean that's
31:41
She was like, okay, outside of those titles, who are you?
31:45
And what do you like to do? And what do you do for yourself?
31:49
I said, listen, I'm gonna have to come back to you on
31:52
that because I don't have no answer right now, like I have nothing,
31:56
I have nothing to give you. And she was like, why is that
31:59
so? I said, because as I sat here session after session talking to
32:04
you, you asked me a question that I can't answer because I don't know
32:07
who I am anymore. I said, I've been married, been with this
32:12
gentleman, my husband at the time. I have been with him since I
32:15
was sixteen years old. I was twenty four at the twenty five at the
32:19
time. So I'm like, all I know is being his girlfriend, being
32:24
a daughter to my mom and my dad, being a sister to my brothers
32:28
and my sister and cousin and friend and all of the out I don't know
32:36
anybody outside of that because the things that I like to do I no longer.
32:40
Did you know, I stopped, you know, running, I stopped,
32:45
you know, going to sporting events, I stopped to make sure everybody
32:50
else's needs were being kept. And even when I was going to therapy,
32:54
like I had times where my therapist was asked for my husband to attend and
33:00
he would never go with me, but he would always ask me about how
33:04
my session went, and I was like, if you were really concerned,
33:07
you would have gone with me, because it's not for you to find out
33:10
afterwards, so it's really not that important. And also during that time,
33:15
I started to pray and ask God if this was the right relationship for me
33:19
to continue to try to have. And when I prayed that prayer and I
33:23
asked, I said, God, if this is not where I'm supposed to
33:25
be, and if it is supposed to be for us to go our separate
33:30
ways, you're going to have to make the provisions for me to do so.
33:32
And if you do so, I won't look back. And honestly,
33:37
getting divorced was one of the best decisions I ever made. Was it hard,
33:42
yes, was it a struggle, yes, But when I would tell
33:45
people I was going through a divorce, they would always say that they were
33:47
so sorry that I was going through that, But I was like, don't
33:51
be sorry for me. I did my crying while I was there. This
33:53
is my time to rejoice, so I have nothing left to cry over.
33:58
I have time to rebuild and learn myself all over again. And one thing
34:02
that I did that I still do to this day is I do a self
34:07
inventory. And I did that self inventory, and when I told you,
34:13
it was the most eye opening, most painful thing that I had to do
34:17
because I did it in my bathroom after taking my shower, so I was,
34:22
you know, in my birthday suit or whatever, but I was bare
34:28
to nothing but myself and I had to come to terms with the good things
34:34
about myself and the bad things about myself and what I needed to work on.
34:37
And once I was able to get through with that, it's been life
34:42
changing. So every three to six months, I go back and I do
34:45
my inventory, see where I've changed, where I've grown, where I still
34:49
need some work, And it's been one of the greatest things I've ever had
34:52
to do. So if everybody has not ever done a self inventory, take
34:57
this little advice. Do your self inventory, and you will finds out that
35:01
you got some work to do, you got some flaws, or you got
35:05
some areas where you're just great at and that's it. But do yourself inventory.
35:12
Oh yeah. I hate when people tell me they're sorry because my my
35:15
response when people say they're sorry when they do stuff is sorry, didn't do
35:19
if you did it? So what are you gonna do to fix it?
35:22
Are you going to be accountable for what you did? And are you going
35:24
to take responsibility to change it? Yeah? I when I went through by
35:32
divorce, people were like, well, let me preface this with I was
35:37
only married for twenty months, so mom, okay, it's like the age
35:40
of a toddler. We work together, but like eight months before we got
35:47
married, so really in last years. But when I went through my divorce,
35:53
I had the same thing. People are like, oh my gosh,
35:55
I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I was like, I'm not.
35:59
It's I really listened to people, or I got married and I really
36:05
shouldn't paid attention to the red flags. I was really really young. I
36:09
was twenty one. He was even younger than me, and it just was
36:14
not something that was meant to be. And you know, it came to
36:20
an end and that freed me up because that whole situation was providing was causing
36:28
so much anxiety and I was. I was just really struggling again with identity
36:37
and trying to figure out but I did it because it was like, you're
36:42
that's what you're supposed to do, right, You're supposed to go to school
36:45
and you're supposed to graduate and then you're supposed to get married. And I
36:46
was trying to follow this. Yeah, I'm not really sure who put that
36:51
plan. I don't know, typical like, but I was trying to like
37:00
check boxes. And that's how I lived a lot of my life. And
37:05
I hate to even admit that, but it's true. I lived a lot
37:07
of my life checking boxes because I thought people would be impressed with that.
37:14
Like, yeah, and thank God got used the things that I did while
37:20
I was checking the boxes, and he's still using the things that I did
37:22
while I was checking the boxes. Yeah, for me to help other people,
37:28
for me to you know, have my music ministry and to write and
37:34
to speak and you know, be able to reach out to other people and
37:37
encourage other people. But that was you know, I'm not sorry that I
37:44
got divorced. I'm sorry I got married, but I would love to get
37:52
married to a person that is God ordained and God approved. And that was
37:58
not that, and thank God gave me away out and I took it.
38:02
Yeah. Yeah, God will provide you everything that you need when you go
38:07
to him and ask him. And that was one of the things that when
38:10
I said, God, if this is not where you want me to be,
38:13
you're gonna have to make a way for me to get out of it.
38:15
And when I told you, I did not have a place, I
38:20
did not know where I was going, and I had my kids. I
38:22
had no idea where I was going. I did not have the resources or
38:27
the money to do so. And it was just like the week of because
38:32
I had had enough, I was done. I was like, I don't
38:36
care where I go. I could go back to my aunt's house. And
38:38
I had called her and asked her, and then my cousin called and asked
38:44
me, was I looking for a place? And she had a place out
38:47
in MN and I was like, she was like, you can go and
38:52
take a look at it and you can go ahead and move in. And
38:55
I was like okay, So I went and looked at it was a four
38:59
bedroom to bath house. I was like, okay, yep, we'll be
39:02
moving. Then when I moved, I was like I had to call the
39:07
water company, and I was like, I'm not I don't have the money
39:12
right now, so but can you please keep the water on until I get
39:15
my next paycheck and I'll come and pay and switch over the water from my
39:21
cousin's name into mind and they worked with me, and then I needed the
39:24
deposit for the lights to be transferred. And this older gentleman that I work
39:30
with, he heard me on the phone with the power company and he wrote
39:36
me a check for my deposit. And I was like, it's gonna take
39:40
me a minute to pay you back, and he was like, I don't
39:43
need you to pay me back. You and those kids get to where you
39:45
need to go. So it was all orchestrated by God that all things fail
39:50
in place. Two weeks before I moved because I had I had nothing,
39:54
but I asked and I prayed, and I asked him to get me out
39:59
of that situation. That that's why I say it was the best decision that
40:01
I ever made. Was I Did I have some hard times? Yes,
40:05
of course, raising three kids by myself, you know, then having a
40:08
stroke and then having being diagnosed with aneurysm PRML information, so so on and
40:15
so forth, all of the things that we're supposed to take me away from
40:19
here. God has still used those things to keep me where I'm supposed to
40:22
be. Now we have a question, and this question is where can we
40:25
find some of your music and will you sing the song? Which we already
40:30
talked about that in the beginning that we have to hear a song, but
40:34
where can we find them? So my music is on my website Tony Lashawn
40:38
music dot com t O N L A s h a u N music dot
40:44
com and you can find the Spotify links as well as the YouTube videos of
40:49
YouTube channel. I'm on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon, Pandora, whatever
40:53
streaming service. Yeah, will be going, yeah, and so well I
41:02
sing a song. I'll singing out a little bit. Don't you worry?
41:07
Okay, okay, we're ready. We read. Whenever you are worry,
41:12
GEPs into your mind like us be in the night robbing you. You beee
41:22
you can't see. I will be all right. No need to stress a
41:30
bound what God's already God work down. Don't you worry body thing. God
41:39
is faithful and he will take care of you. Don't you worry bout the
41:46
thing. God is able to carry carry you through don't you worry. Okay,
41:59
Yeah, I gotta go that song because I'm gonna be having that in
42:02
the car in the morning on my way to work, so you know,
42:06
yes, I'm definitely gonna go to the YouTube channel Spotify all of those,
42:12
So if you see me over there and liking all the stuff on it,
42:15
just know that, you know. Okay, So just know. But I
42:21
want to thank you so much for being here. This has definitely been eye
42:23
opening. But music is a way to bring people together. If you're not
42:30
one of those people who listens to music, I don't know what's wrong with
42:32
you, because there's something definitely got to be wrong with you because music changes
42:37
everything. It makes you feel good, it can make you sad, but
42:40
it also can get you into space, and especially when it like right before
42:46
we came on here, I was listening to Zaccarti songs You Don't Know and
42:52
that song Oh my God. If you have not listened to that song,
42:58
please go and listen to that song, because you don't know what somebody else
43:02
has been going through. You don't know what things they've overcome to get to
43:07
the space in which they are right now. So go listen to that song
43:13
and tell me what you think about it. Even after the show is over,
43:16
you can always find me and comment on it or comment after this right
43:22
here, Your sister says she's proud of big sister Yay, but thank you
43:28
so much for being here. DD says God will always place a ram in
43:35
the bush. So he definitely does place a ram in the bush with anything
43:39
that you're going through. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He
43:44
always knows everything that we have going on, and all we have to do
43:49
is just be obedient to what He's called us to do. I'm gonna have
43:52
to have you back on the show. I'm not sure when, but I'm
43:57
definitely gonna have you back. So keep your cat on their open and reach
44:02
out to my podcast sisters as well. We have my best fie who's on
44:07
here, Latania Little John. She is delayed but not denied podcasts. I
44:13
have Patrece, she has sc book gals and friends, so you could get
44:19
on her show. Arthur Black Diamond is Basic Black after Dark. It's a
44:24
bunch of them and chat with that is tomorrow. We've got a couple of
44:29
new hosts that I'm still learning, Chanette and Doctor. I can't say her
44:32
name, and I don't want to mess it up. But she's there too,
44:37
and we got a new young lady that's coming, miss Smone. So
44:39
you you got a lot of people to choose from if you ever want to
44:43
be on another one. But of course you're always welcome to come back and
44:50
to believe in the journey because this has definitely been a great conversation. But
44:54
do you want to let them know again where they can find you and where
45:00
they can find your music one more time before we go? Yes, So,
45:05
first of all, thank you so much for having me, and I
45:07
would love to come back. This is a great conversation. My music and
45:13
ministry are all on my website Tony music dot com. So much shirt is
45:19
a shirt on them too? Can we get a shirt merchandise linked to all
45:22
my merchandises on their books and everything you can find through my website. Okay,
45:31
well, you guys, you know I can never leave the show without
45:35
telling you this, and that is to stay out of God's business because the
45:38
only thing he needs you to do is to be obedient to what He's caused
45:42
you to do. Until next time. We'll see you guys later. He
45:45
good night, bye. Oh where in all the Blue Sky's hot boys and
46:05
misdow member blows from the look in sunthings well, pursing, meursing me