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Learn How to Stop Proving Yourself with Top Chef's Kristen Kish · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: No one has all the answers, but when we ask
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: the right questions, we get a little closer, closer to truths,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: closer to each other, even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Danielle Robe, and each week, my guests and I'd come
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: together to challenge the status quo and our own ways
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: of thinking by daring to ask what if, why not?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: And who says?
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: So?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Come curious, dig deep, and join the conversation. It's time
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: to question everything. About seven years ago, I was sitting
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: on a balcony with my dad. We were in Miami,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: and my mom and my brother had gone to bed.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I remember feeling nervous to ask him something, because as
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: close as we are, we don't really traffic in feelings
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: all the time. And I said, Dad, did you feel
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: lonely when you were growing up? I was kind of
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: hoping he would say yes, because I'm so much like him,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: and then he could make sense of this feeling that
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I had. And he sat for a minute and puffed
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: his cigar, and he said, no, I was alone a lot,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: but I didn't feel lonely. I asked, because there was
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: this loneliness in me that never quite went away. It
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: followed me no matter who I was with, in relationship,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: with my family, my friends. It wasn't loud, but it
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: was always with me. It was almost like people could
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: know me, but they didn't know the hole me, and
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: that felt lonely. And then a few years ago it
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: just disappeared. Poof, I woke up one day and I
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: didn't have it anymore. And I haven't fully unpacked why.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I know I will, and when I come to a conclusion,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I'll share it with you guys. But if I had
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: to sort of pontificate right now in present time, I
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: think it has something to do with finally coming home
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: to myself. It's finding a sense of belonging that wasn't
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: dependent on another person or a city or a job,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: or hoping that someone could see me the real me,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: because I saw myself. What I do think is interesting
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: is that I've built an entire career around the opposite
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: of loneliness connection. And that is why Kristin Kish, our
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: guest today, fascinates me. Because when I read her memoir
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: accidentally on purpose, and I sat with her story, I
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: realized that we might be asking the same question from
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: different directions. Now we all know Kristin as the impeccably dressed,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: effortlessly cool host of Top Chef. But before she was
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: hosting Top Chef, she was a winner. She was a
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: James Beard Award winner. And if we go back a
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: little further, Kristin was adopted from Korea as an infant
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: and raised in Michigan, and growing up she often felt
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: different from the people around her, and she talks about
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: struggling with social anxiety pretty badly. For a long time,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: she wasn't sure she was particularly good at anything, and
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: then Kristin found kitchens or kitchens found her. I'm not
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: quite sure which.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Honestly, the biggest thing I got out of kitchens, good
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: and bad, was finding my confidence, knowing that I was
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: good at something, because for so long I didn't think
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I was good at anything.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: And what started as cooking to connect with people became
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: the place where she found her confidence, her purpose, and
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: a sense of belonging. But even with all of her success,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: she still says.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Every great thing in my career that has happened is
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: because someone else saw my greatness before I could see it.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: So how did Kristin move from feeling like an outsider
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: to feeling like she belonged. Well, I can't give away
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: all the good stuff. It's time to question everything with
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Kristin Kish it's been a minute since we've talked. You've
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: become a trader.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I was a faithful yeah, but I was playing with
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: the trader.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Has it messed how you read people at all?
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  Speaker 2: I'd like to say no, because I can separate game
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: from real life. However, I did realize in that game
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: that my gut was very much right and a lot
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: of different things, but not in the context of the game.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: So like, I know immediately if we're going to jive,
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  Speaker 2: I know immediately if you're my kind of person, or
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: if I want to start building that trust with you,
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  Speaker 2: I can tell. But in a game where everyone's supposed
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: to lie to your face, you know, it makes it
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  Speaker 2: a little bit more difficult. So yes and no, I'm
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  Speaker 2: a little bit more cautious.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I'd say, would you say you were a good read
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  Speaker 1: going into it?
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  Speaker 2: I mean, the first declaration I made was it's Colton.
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  Speaker 2: I know it's it. It was not a trader at all.
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  Speaker 2: But so me, No, I wasn't good. I wasn't good
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  Speaker 2: at all.
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  Speaker 1: I don't believe that because I think all of your
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: time in a kitchen is like you are dealing with
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  Speaker 1: so many different personalities. I can't even imagine you didn't
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  Speaker 1: pick up like clues and ways to read people's mannerism.
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  Speaker 2: You know, I think if the pressure of the game
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  Speaker 2: wasn't on my shoulders, I think I do well under pressure,
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  Speaker 2: maybe better cooking under pressure than trying to play a
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: social game on pressure. So that was just like in
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  Speaker 2: a fish bowl all by itself. It was such an
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: odd experience. That's so fair.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I heard that you felt like even in a game
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: of lies, it was still less pressure than a professional
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  Speaker 1: kitchen one hundred percent.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: And because in the Game of Traders, my career, my
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: thing that I have been doing for over two decades
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  Speaker 2: and have dedicated my life to, which is food and
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: cooking right, was not at risk. So you put me
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: in a kitchen, that pressure exponentially grows because now we're
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: in real life, Like, if I messed up here, this
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  Speaker 2: is going to also impact my reputation of if you
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: want to come back to my restaurant or whatever the
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: case may be.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: It's like Adele doing karaoke.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, also, but she's so good at anything. Also, ps Pill,
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: are you well I have some clunker dishes. I have
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  Speaker 2: a feeling that Adele has never sung an out of
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: two notes ever ever in her entire life. Disagree. Oh
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: we've heard this ya, everybody has. You know, in my head,
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: she's perfect.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I like your love for adel While that show might
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: not be your normal playground. I read you were struggling
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: in the Castle kitchen, like in your rookie Top Chef days.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Did you really try making grilled cheese and a toaster?
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  Speaker 2: I sure did so in that kitchen in the Castle,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: there's a kitchen behind the scenes where like catering and
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: stuff works out of the kitchen that's on screen. They're
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: not going to put a real life kitchen in there
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: because all I would do is cook and everyone would
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: just like we would no longer play the game. It's
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: everyone be eating, and so it would be quite distracting.
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  Speaker 2: So the kitchen, the only heat source was a toaster.
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  Speaker 2: I got. I felt a little sassy and maybe a
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: little over confident that I could make a grilled cheese
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  Speaker 2: in the toaster, and the butter melted and then started
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: smoking and producer had to come in unplug it because
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: it was going to cut on fire.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: How was the grilled cheese.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: It was edible. Lisa Renna still talk says every now
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: and again, I hear it. She's like that piece of
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: buttered bread that you buttered for me, it was one
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  Speaker 2: of the best bites of food. Monett I made a
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: sandwich for and she was like, this is amazing. And
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: that's also then to say, you can kind of see
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  Speaker 2: how hungry we were, and you know, a deli meat
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  Speaker 2: sandwich and a buttered piece of bread was a delicious
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  Speaker 2: bite of food.
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  Speaker 1: I know that you're used to sort of interacting with
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: all these different people because on Top Chef people from
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: all over the country come. It must have been sort
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: of interesting to be in a house with people from
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: all walks of life, Like what was that like?
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  Speaker 2: I didn't really know anybody. I had heard of some names,
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  Speaker 2: I'd recognized a few faces, but I had never watched
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  Speaker 2: religiously their shows that they come from. So like, I'm
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: trying to get to know these people completely at face value,
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  Speaker 2: which I think ultimately was a good thing for me
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: as someone who has done a lot of work to
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: overcome intense social anxiety with new people. The work paid
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  Speaker 2: off because I was able to go in there and
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  Speaker 2: just be me. I think it's also the lack of
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: caring about how I come off, or do you like me?
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  Speaker 2: Or am I going to be impressive enough. I just
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: went in there as me and I was gonna vibe
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  Speaker 2: with who I vibe with, and if I didn't, then
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  Speaker 2: that's okay too.
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  Speaker 1: Okay. I want to talk about food because it's always
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: been the center of your story. Do you remember when
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: it became a love language for you?
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  Speaker 2: I think it kind of always was. So as soon
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: as I realized that I could get a good reaction
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  Speaker 2: or any kind of reaction out of somebody and I
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: didn't have to talk, I didn't have to make small
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: talk and getting to know you, I didn't have to
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: play this game of the social game that I was
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  Speaker 2: so anxious by. And so when I realized that I
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: could just sit with myself, cook something and give you
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  Speaker 2: food and you're gonna be like, oh my gosh, and
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  Speaker 2: I didn't have to say a day an word. Great
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: when it like everything started to click for me, and ultimately,
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  Speaker 2: step by step drove me to a place where I
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: wanted to be in a kitchen, and then somehow I
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: ended up on television. But you know, life is funny sometimes,
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  Speaker 2: but yeah, it was when I realized I didn't have
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  Speaker 2: to talk, but I also could do something really good
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  Speaker 2: for other people.
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  Speaker 1: And it would make people smile and feel something. Yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: that's so beautiful. Do you remember the first time you
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  Speaker 1: cooked something that was really delicious?
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  Speaker 2: Well, my dad said my soy sauce chocolate pudding was delicious.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: It was not, but like we got to back up
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  Speaker 1: and shared what the soy sauce chocolate pudding is.
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  Speaker 2: So I was a child, single digit age. I was
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: experimenting in the kitchen. I was going through the process
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: of cooking long before I realized what it was to
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  Speaker 2: develop flavor. Yeah, And so I took this memory of
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  Speaker 2: my mother's gravy that she would thicken with a corn
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: starch slurry. She'd put it in the refrigerator. The next
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: thing you'd come back and it's like jello. And so
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I remembered the process of how you get that texture.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: So I was like, I'm going to make chocolate pudding.
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  Speaker 2: There was no chocolate in the house. I think I
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: took water, maybe milk, I'm not even sure. And then
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I made a slurry of water and I thickened this
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: liquid and then I turned it brown into chocolate by
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: using soy sauce, and I put it in the refriger
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  Speaker 2: and I was so proud that I made this like
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: really cool science experiment. My dad came home to took
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: goodbite of it, and he was like, hmm, this is great,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: you know, because he didn't want to hurt my feelings.
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  Speaker 1: I love that you used to think that the color
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: mattered more than the flavor, and I think that that
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: is actually a really interesting thing to.
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  Speaker 2: Dissect well, developing a flavor and developing a palette to
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: understand what balance and a good dishes. Yeah, that takes
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: a lot of practice. That means you are trying so
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: many foods. You're out there going to restaurants, you're experimenting
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: with other chefs, and so when you're a kid, you know,
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: I was eating you know, midwestern kid food. But what
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: I did know how to do was make something look
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: like something else. Like if you showed me a video,
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: thirty minute video on how to build the chair, that
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: is kind of I'm a visual learner in that way,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: and just by watching I know how to build that chair,
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: and I will get you that chair. It might not
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: be good, but I'm gonna do it the same thing
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: I went through with cooking. So I was watching it
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: all through the screen. I wasn't tasting it, so I
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: knew how to get the outcome. I just didn't know
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: what it tasted like.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: So you were watching Food Network or.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I was cooking shows Great Chefs of the World, it
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: was It's an incredible show. You should go on YouTube
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: if you like really calm, soothing things. It'll put you
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: to sleep in all the most beautiful ways. It's just
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: these chefs just cooking. Low budget. It's not you know, lights,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: camera action food competition stuff. It is just cooking from
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: all these chefs from around the world, and it's dubbed
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: over by this woman with this like really charming Louisiana accent,
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: and it's just it's amazing you can.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Make sense of that is like a ten year old
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: watching cooking shows, like, do you feel like you were
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: just born to do this?
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I think that the way I learn and the way
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: that something grabs my attention is in how it looks.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: It's like this visual like draw for me. If I
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: were five years old and at the time, you know,
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: when I would get home from school, woodworking would have
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: been on. Yeah, and I turned that on, I'd probably
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: be a woodworker right now. I think it was just
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: imprinted in me so quickly. It was less about the
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: cooking and more about the structure and the method about
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: someone making something.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: So your first job was at a pretzel shop in
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: the mall.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, my first job cooking food. My first job before
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: the pretzel shop, I was a post and a busser
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: at a restaurant at Lone Star Steakhouse and saloon. It
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: was back in the day when you could smoke in
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: restaurants and I would clean the axe. Phrase. But like,
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: my first real cooking job was twisting pretzels in the mall.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: And you write in your book that it was almost
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: therapeutic for you. Yes, everybody I know who has had
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: a job similar to that, whether it's in a bakery.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: My mom worked at a pie shop and she was like,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: after four days, I could never look at pie. You
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: had the opposite experience, So explain this.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: They were so good. So I would mess with the
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: hydration of the dough because depending on the season, I
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: could get all dorky about it. But depending on the season, Like,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: my job was to efficiently roll pretzels, so when the
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: dough was properly hydrated and properly rested. I could roll
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: so fast, like I don't know how many a minute,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: but I was in the window and I would clap
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: the rope and I'd twist it in the air and
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: I'd drop it. And because there's so many different toppings
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: and ways you can explore how a pretzel tastes. Yeah,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: it was endless possibilities to explore my creativity. And it
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: was I mean, it's so good. Who doesn't love a soft,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: hot buttered pretzel. Oh, It's what I order in any movie.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: My mouth is water. Yeah, you got nicely.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Have you cooked a dish since that has given you
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: that feeling.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: The pretzel feeling? Well, that was a very specific time
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: of my life.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: And you know, I think when I was working at Stir,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I was cooking in front of ten people, and I
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: liken it to the dance, where like your mind shuts
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: off and your body is just going through these motions
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: and creating. You know, I have to think about it. Yeah,
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: And when I was working at Stir, cooking for ten
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: people a night, doing my own dishes during service, it
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: was basically hosting a dinner party every night. I found
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: that same hypnotic flow. I think that's what they call
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: flow state these days, or like what the kids are saying,
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Like I was fully in flow state in those two jobs,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: and I love them so much.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: When did you go from I could do this all
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: day to thinking I'm going to build a life around this.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: I think that builds because there are so many different
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: stages of life, where when I was eighteen, there's no
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: way I could have envisioned what I wanted. When I
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: was twenty five, I thought I did, But you have
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: no idea. You have to go through every stage of
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: life and every year and build upon it, and then
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: it is ever changing and ever evolving, and that will
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: determine the path that you take. And so I think
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: it was a slow build. And in that way, I
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: don't know if I can pinpoint exactly, because all of
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: a sudden it feels like, you know, I surprise myself now,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Like I look back at my jobs and the current
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: jobs that I have, and I'm like, how did that happen?
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Like I completely in a lot of beautiful ways, just
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: completely blanked out, and I just went through it. I
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: reached that flow state, and you're just in this new
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: system where things are building on each other and you're
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: open to opportunities and you just you keep moving through it.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: You can I know it's a hard thing to describe,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: but can you drill into that more. I'm very curious
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: about it because I know working in kitchens is so difficult,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: so not everything is in flow, Like I know that
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: there must have been awful bosses and difficult moments and
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: burns and times where you're like, am I even in
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: the right place? Like why am I doing this to myself?
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: So how do you know? How does Kristin know what
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: the next right move is or even when to make
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: a move.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I think a series of mistakes, all of the choices
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: that I've made, some write some are I still make
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: bad choices? You think I do? I think? So. I
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: think that we are run by our subconscious minds. Yes,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: mindy something percent and so depending like I could ask
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: you a question and perhaps today other things were happening
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: or you had gone through different things, and you're going
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: to give me an emotional response. Three days later, you're
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: going to look back and that wasn't the right response
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: because it was based off of this subconscious reaction that
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: sometimes I think gets confused with a gut reaction. Yeah,
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: And so I think honing in what it feels like
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: to give an emotional response versus logical response, they're very different.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: And so yes, because of that, will make mistakes because
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: sometimes I give an emotional response because I just react.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: The last mistake you made. What do you mean I'm
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: looking to my answer. I'll give you a very broad yeah.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: So I think that I said yes to the wrong
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: job in the moment in which it was put in
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: my lab, I was considering a lot of different things
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: that weren't driven by my authentic, genuine compass that I
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: usually make choices by, and I let something else get
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: in the way.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: I let money get in the way. And I wanted that,
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: but I kind of forgot that for so much of
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: my career, all of my career, I have worked so
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: hard to drive in this other lane, and just for
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: a minute, because there were other things going on, and
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: I just was like, you know what, I had like
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: a fuck it moment. I was like, yeah, sure, and
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: I don't think for me it was the right decision.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: And it was a nice reminder, and I think it's
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: important to have those reminders to recheck you back in line,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: and it resets and reconfirms that over here is exactly
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: where I need it to be.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: So appreciate you sharing that, And I think it's so relatable.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: It's so hard to move through real life as an
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: adult and not think about money, not make the financial decision. Yeah,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: when you think about what usually drives you? Is it fun?
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Is it integrity for the food?
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: What is that metric for you?
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Integrity is a great word. I think it's integrity. I
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: think it's a genuine connection to whatever it is that
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: I'm being presented with. Yeah, an authentic like there needs
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: to be a line drawn. I need to be able
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: to connect the dots. It's how I create food. If
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I create a dish and I can't tell you the
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: point of where I wanted that inspiration, where it needed
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: to come from, or usually let me back off a
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: little bit. A lot of the food that I create
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: is coming from my version of comfort food, what I
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: grew up eating. There needs to be one flavor or
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: something in there that's like Kristen's favorite food when she
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: was five. And if I can't draw that line, it
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: doesn't belong on my menu.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: And what is the thing what makes it a Kristin dish.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: So honestly, it's like kind of like trashy processed food.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: I grew up in the Midwest, where cast rolls and
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: box foods. I grew up in the era where I
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: would come home from school and I'd open up a
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: box of mac and cheese and I would doctor it up.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: You know, you add a little bit less milk, add
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: more butter, gets richer, and then you like, you know,
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: dip potato chips in it, Like that's what I was eating,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: and so that is my comfort foods.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I love that you said that, because I don't know
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: that I would have like understood that, And it's true
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: now that I understand it.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: You're so if you come to my restaurant, hopefully you
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: come one day, there is a dish that is was
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: created off of my love of Hamburger helper. Now there
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: is no Hamburger helper. There's none of that. We make
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: everything in house, homemade pasta's. The sauce takes like four
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: days because we're rehydrating and dehydrating. There's actually no beef
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: in it whatsoever. But it's the feeling when you say
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: comfort food. Everybody has a reaction on what dishes that
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: means for you and comfort food. It's just it's not
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: a particular flavor, it's a feeling. And those were the
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: flavors of my childhood and my feelings of my childhood.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: So how does this sensitive in tune, socially anxious girl
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: go into the chaos of a kitchen?
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: You know, I think television, media and kitchen culture was
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: glorified for so long this like bad boy behavior, rock
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: and roll, drugs, like blah blah blah, And yes, there
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: is a lot of that, and there was a lot
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: of that. I'm sure plenty of places are still like that.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: But for so many people that chose a life in
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: the kitchen, it was a place to feel like you belonged.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: So when you find the right kitchen, not all of
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: them are like what you see on TV or whatever.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: A lot of them are safe space for a lot
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: of people. That's how my kitchen is. It's a safe
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: space for people to feel protected in a way from
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: all of the other things around them that make them
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable. And so it was for me a place
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: where I felt confident. In some kitchens, I felt very
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: protected and supported. So I think it's uncomfortable and maybe
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: intimidating for people that have never worked in a kitchen
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: or have chosen that career path. Yeah, for the ones
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: that do, you know, when you find that right kitchen,
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: it's like the most peaceful place.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Sounds like it was healing for you in some ways.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: It was. Honestly, the biggest thing I got out of
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: kitchens good and bad, was finding my confidence, knowing that
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I was good at something, because for so long I
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: didn't think I was good at anything.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Well, you're very, very good at hosting Top Chef, thank you,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: which you have done the past three seasons. What's been
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: the biggest shift for you stepping into the host drill?
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: You know, I've thought about this question a lot, and
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: every year it changes.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: I was asked last night, how has your mind set
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: changed since being a contestant to hosting and now hosting
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: your third season? And there hasn't been because me hosting
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Top Chef. What I think makes me good at that
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: job is that I have over two decades of experience
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: talking about food, talking to chefs, being the one talked at,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: given feedback. It's this language that I've been talking about
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: and talking in for over two decades of my life. Yeah,
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: and yes, now we're on TV, I'm in full glam.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: There's more cameras and great lighting and everything around you.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: But the core and the mindset that I have is
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: the exact same mindset I have on why food excites
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: me and how it has been I heard.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: That Gail Simmons when you got the job, was basically like, yeah,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: of course she was going to be Kristian right.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: I'm glad she knew because I had no idea When
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: the announcement came out and clearly they needed another post. Yeah,
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, I wonder who that's going to be.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: There is no chance in hell that I was ever
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: going to get that phone call.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: I never went through your mind.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Never. I thought about it for a split second. Wow,
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: that could be fun. But then I let that go
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: because I never thought it was going to be a
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: possibility for me. Because who we are inside and how
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: we feel is sometimes different than what other people see.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: And I've always said it, every great thing in my
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: career that has happened is because someone else saw my
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: greatness before I could see it. Wow, That's how I
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: got competing on Top Chef, different jobs I've had. I'm like,
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: you want me and they're like, of course we want you,
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: and I'm like why, and then they tell me, yeah,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: what again, it's huge. And so once other people see
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: that and say that, it is then my responsibility to say,
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: you know what, you're right. I'm going to go prove
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: it to myself.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Now, have you found a classy way to wear sweatpants
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: on set? Are you still unbuttoning your pants?
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: No? No, no, I don't care if it's classy or not.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I buy my sweatpants about three sizes too big. There's
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: a drawstring, and so if it happens all the time
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: walking around set or walking around in my house, if
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: I don't tie tight enough, they are too big for me.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Where if I put the weight of my phone in
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: my pocket, they are going to slide downwoosh. Yeah.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's the real top chef t nobody's
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: talking about.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: I will tell you this season. So the past two
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: seasons Tom I learned from Tom that when you're behind
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Judge's table on seize your legs. And so he always
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: changed into shorts and flip flops. And so he'd wear
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: a suit jacket and then his shorts. You're kidding, that's
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: like COVID outfit correct exactly, and so I was like, well,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: if Tom's doing that, I want to do that. And
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: so I would change out of my perfectly tailored fitted
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: pants and I would put sweatpants on. This season, because
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: they were doing some shots behind Judge's table, we had
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: to put our real pants back on. We had to
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: keep the full outfits on, and sometimes even the whole
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: like the shoes and everything. It was a sad day
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: when they took away the sweatpants at judges table. Are
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: you busting out of your pants? I have? But what
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: you do? You can? I am? I am. They're always
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: unbottoned if they can be unbuttoned, yeah, And I'm also
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: trying to figure out how I need to sit, because
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: when you eat fifteen plates of food, your pants feel
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: a little bit tighter, and so you've got to figure
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: out a way where you can feel a little bit
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: more comfortable for sitting for like four hours.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: I remember people back in the day would always ask
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: the top chef, host and judges like if they had
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: a workout routine during filming, because you're eating that much food.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: I thought, you're just having a little bite.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: And then in some cases, so I always I've always
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: said on TV, I know it looks like we're eating
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: so much food, which, yes it is. It's a lot
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: of food. But I would argue that every bite that
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: I take, if you took every single bite I consumed
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: and put it on one plate, the volume of that
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: food is no bigger than a regular meal.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: That's kind of what I would guess. Like.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: The only thing that makes it a little bit more
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: challenging is like so many different flavor profiles that your
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: brain is trying to comprehend. But it's not that much food.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: If you ask me, I still need to eat again
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: after so you do? We do? We go to dinner.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Gail Simmons is famous for saying we are human beings
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: and the beauty of that is that we can eat
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: a meal, but what four hours later you need another one?
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: That's so nice? Yeah, really cool. You've been nominated for
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: an Emmy every season that you've hosted. As someone who
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: used to never want attention to be on her, what
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: does it mean to you to be nominated as the
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: face of something.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: I think that I am accepting it more and I'm
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: a little bit more comfortable with it because this is
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: a cooking competition show that I once competed on that.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: I want one because of my skill, and so I
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: feel less of like maybe a floating head and more
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: of like I came up through this show. I am
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: standing in this position because I compete on it.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, your DNA is there.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: It feels it feels genuine and authentic. So sometimes I
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: feel like, perhaps I feel a little bit lacking purpose,
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: and that sometimes makes you feel uncomfortable. If I'm in
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: a room and I don't feel like I have a
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: strong purpose here. I feel very grounded in that purpose,
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: and so therefore it's more comfortable. Yeah, and you know
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: the crew, and it's like it's a show that has
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: changed so many lives, that has then gone on and
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: translated so many of your lives because we all need
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: to eat. And you go to these restaurants, yes, and
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: you seek out these chefs that you've just watched on television,
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: and you're fueling and feeding the communities because you're going
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: to the restaurants and the small businesses. It's just this
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: whole ecosystem that goes from TV reality, television entertainment into
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: all of our lives in some form.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I actually want a cultural critic to do a study
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: on Top Chef and the increase of popular like mass
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: media female chefs. Yes, because I remember I'm from Chicago,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: and I remember Stephanie opened multiple restaurants in Chicago in
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: a place that is incredibly male dominated, like we'd never
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: really had that before. I just I do think it's
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: changed so many people's lives and it sho is a
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: land shape of this industry in so many ways.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I love you talk about the introduction to amazing, strong,
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: powerful women in the kitchen that have been doing this
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: thing for so long, but now like this moment of recognition,
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: same thing with different foods from different cultures that aren't
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: mainstream for a long time, weren't like in the top
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: like three cuisines that were being celebrated, but now they are,
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: and they're surpassing the French and the Italian. Like now
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: we're talking, we're going, we're seeking out restaurants that are
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: like I mean, I had never been to a fine
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: dining Nigerian restaurant before. Now those exist. How cool was that?
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: You're right, so you posted across fast foodies, Iron chef
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: restaurants at the end of the world, and now of
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: course Top Chef. What is each version of that experience
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: given you that you didn't expect.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: You know, when you look back on life, you're like,
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: all of the right things happened at the right time,
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: and then you can start to puzzle piece your life
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: together and you're like, oh, it all makes sense now.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: I know for a fact that Fast Foodies lent me
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: to posting Iron Chef. I remember there was a very
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: top executive that I had known for my Top Chef
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: days who was working at Netflix at the time. She
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: saw me on Fast Foodies and she's like, oh, Christen
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: has found her voice, and that's how my name entered
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: somewhere in the Iron Chef consideration. And Iron Chef, I
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: know for a fact got me ready for like the
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: spontaneity and the unscripted like nis of what Top Chef is. Yes,
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: every step taught me that I am actually good at
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: these things, and it's got confidence booster like every single
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: time I did it. Yeah, I mean, even if the
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: show's never got picked up, it just made room and
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: experience for the next thing and the next thing. I
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: remember I was so sad when one show didn't get
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: picked up, and I was devastated and I was like,
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: oh my god. But then three months later, another show
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: another network came in, and had the other show gotten
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: picked up, I wouldn't have been able to do this
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: other one that actually excited anymore.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: You're only able to see it in hindsight, you.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Are, Yeah, which is like teaching you a lot of
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: patience in life.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, another gift of age.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Also, Yes, I love getting older because I'm learning so
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: much more about myself. And also you're embracing all of
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: the most amazing things that you never knew you could
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: dream that those all start to come into focus as
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: each year passes.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I never thought getting older would happen to me the
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: way I don't feel like menopause is going to happen
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: to me.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: I just genuinely like, I'm not even Yeah, we'll talk
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: about it later.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, call me when you're having your first night sweat.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: I'll do the same.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, good. But I do actually like aging.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: I really truly, yeah, I truly do. Life gets better
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: and better because I get more comfortable with myself. And
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: there's something so freeing about understanding who you are and
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: what you want and what matters and most importantly, what
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: doesn't actually matter.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, So I want to talk about your personal story
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: because we talked a lot about food. But after reading
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: your memoir accidentally on purpose, I felt as if I
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: understood where your love of food came from. And I
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: want everybody to feel that. It's so much about finding
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: your way. And you said something I loved. I wrote
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: it down it says today. My interest in exploring the
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Korean parts of me is rooted in my sense of curiosity.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: When I hosted travel shows, my tendency to question everything
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: was the drive. I'm interested in seeing how other people live,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: in knowing what another.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: Life could be like.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Do you think that that deep curiosity came from you
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: wanting to understand the world or was it really you
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: wanting to understand yourself?
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: It was more about myself, and it was if we
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: take a couple of steps behind that, it was being
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: adopted and growing up in a home that I was not.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: I didn't look like everybody else, And so also when
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: you are adopted, you can't help but think about all
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: the other things that could have happened, that could have
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: landed you with another family and any other part of
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: the world, and how different your life could have been.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: And that has always been that driving force of the
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: curiosity I could have been I could have been anywhere else, Like,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: of course we all have that right. We're born into
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: the family, and like what if I was born into another?
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: But there's I don't know if there's words to explain it.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: And I think being an adoptee, there is this sense
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: of belonging that never really settles in in the way
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: that I feel like if you are biologically born into
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: a family, so yeah, you always feel like what if,
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: what if that happened? I don't know.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: I've had friends who are adopted who would say to
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: me like they would look around and be like, oh,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: maybe that's my mom, or yeah, you felt that.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: When I went to Korea for the first time, I
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: was like kind of taken aback. I was like, I
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: look like you're because when you're transracially adopted and you
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: don't look like the people. I don't want to say
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: long for longenforce is not the right word. But I've
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: always been the most curious about what two people made
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: me like. And I would love to see a picture
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: of these two people that made me because you could
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: look at your family member's cousins, mom, dad, whatever, and
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, we have the same eyes. Yes,
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: you can draw that connection, but I don't have that.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: But I will say, more importantly, the thing that I
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: can say that I got from my mom and dad,
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: which I think is even more important than how you look,
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: is your values in your character. I don't think that
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: was instilled in me within birth. That had to be
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: taught to me by example, and that is more important
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: than anything.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: I almost feel emotional hearing you talk about it right now.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I said to my dad the other day, he was like,
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: your eyebrows look good, and I said, well, they're your eyebrows.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: And even at thirty five, I feel such a connection
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: because of that, and I truly feel like I'm an
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: empathetic person. I cannot even imagine what it would feel
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: like growing up and not having that the.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Thing that you feel for me at least the things
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: that I felt like I missed out on. I mean,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: you spend about half a millisecond thinking about it because
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: you realize all the things that you actually have and
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: the things that you've gained. My life is infinitely bigger
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: and better in all the ways because of my mom
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: and my dad and my brother. M Like, without question,
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: there's no way I would have become this person without them,
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: and I know that.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: For a fact. Do you feel now sitting here you
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: can say you have found an anchor point or does
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: that sense of belonging still sort of sting or live
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: inside of you? Vibrate maybe is a better word.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: There's a difference now because there's a personal and professional
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: belonging that I'm very much grounded in. Yeah, there's a
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: cultural belonging that is still a little bit undetermined that
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: needs more exploration. That part needs more permission for me
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: to give myself to say, well, already, yeah I am
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: Korean enough or I know enough. So the cultural belonging
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: is different. Yeah, I go to Korea and I still
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: feel I look around and I don't feel like I
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: belong And you have to reckon with the idea that
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: you feel like you should and then you don't. That's
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: like this like inner turmoil that's happening over here. But
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: I've gotten more comfortable with that as I've gotten over.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Do you remember the first time you went to Korea?
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: I do. It was for five days for a work trip,
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: and I questioned on whether I wanted to go or
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: not in that way, but I was like, you know what,
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: this is perfect like someone else paying for it. I
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: don't have to put so much pressure on myself to
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: find it and like to find myself. And so I
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: remember some adopted friends that I have said, you know,
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: when you get on the airplane and you're coming into
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: land in Soul, Korea, you're going to look out and
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: you see the motherland and you are going to feel
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: this thing. Your eyes are going to well, you're going
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: to have this whole moment. And I still remember I
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: was sitting on the airplane and I was looking out
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: the windows like Okay, that feeling is not coming, like
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: what is wrong with me? And then you know, when
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: you start to force yourself to feel something, you're like,
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: come on, like you like hype yourself up, and it
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: never came. And I felt so defeated because I was like,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: everyone told me that this is what's going to happen,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: and then it makes you feel like, well, what's wrong
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: with me? Yes, But that feeling came later on. I
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: was walking through a market and I stopped in this
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: little stamp store and they make like pand stamps or whatever,
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: and the guy making the stamps, he's like, well, what
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: do you want? I said, my Korean name and he
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: was like, well, what is it? And then you know,
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: he started asking me other questions and you know, I
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: told him I stopped it my first time, blah blah blah,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: and he said to me, oh my god, now I'm
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: going to cry. This is like the eight time I've
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: told this story, and I cry every single time, and
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: he goes, he goes, you belong here. It was that
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: was That was my moment of coming into the soul
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: that I never expected.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Why does it make you emotional.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: Because I think hearing it for the first time from
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: a complete stranger, after feeling like you failed at feeling
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: the thing you were supposed to feel coming there, and
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: it just like completely caught you off guard. Like I
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: was like, holy shit, because I don't feel like I
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: belong here whatsoever. Because I spent four months in my
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: life there, that's it, and then I left and so
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: to find I mean, hopefully everybody can have that moment
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: of like, oh my god, I finally belong And it
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: was like this permission to be like, yeah, you didn't
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: have to grow up here, you don't have to speak
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: the same language, I have to know anything about this
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: damn country. If you don't want to but you still
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: belong here. And I think that was like because there
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: was so much pressure I put on myself. Well, yeah, exhale,
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: I exhaled hearing you. Yeah. I tell that story all
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: the time and I cry every time. Yeah, I get it.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's something about your story or the mini stories
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: within your larger story. I should say that hit on
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: the theme of that, which is this beautiful stranger who
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: you never saw again, came into your life and saw
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: something in you. And I get the title accidentally on purpose.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: It seems like you fell in love accidentally on purpose too.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: I did complete accident.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, which can we talk about how that could happen
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: to me?
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: It's going to happen for you.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: That's the most beautiful way to fall in.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: Love is when it just happens.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: I'm joking. I want to hear your story, but it's
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: really moving, and I actually want to share your dedication first,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: because you say for the two people whose story I
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: do not know yet, but who set my own in motion.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: I'm curious if being adopted shaped that way of thinking
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: How can it not? It is something that sometimes in
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: parts of my life I try to feel or like
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: create in like this nice little package of like, I
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: totally get it and this is what it is. But
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: every time I've gone through stages of life, it's opened
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: up a part of me that I think is tied
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: to that. And sometimes it's a feeling that I carry
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: on with me for the rest of my life. And
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: sometimes it's just like a fleeting thought, but it's you know,
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: I think that is my that is my history, that
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: is my connection to my culture, and so I hold
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: on to it really really tightly, and I protect it.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: I think it's important. And the same way that you know,
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: a lot of my friends have gone on and you know,
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: really tapped into their culture and how they want to cook.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: For me, it's like that's the place I go back
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: to to find the inspiration on the things that I
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: want to do and how I live my life and
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: the food I want to cook.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: How do you process the mystery of where your story
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: began while owning where it's gone.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: I look at it through a lens of excitement and
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: a mystery that never has to be solved. And I
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: think when you take that pressure off of you don't
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: have to have the answer, you don't have to complete
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: the circle. It's the thing and it can remain a mystery,
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: and every time I decide to visit it, it could
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: be a different question. It could be a different mystery.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: You can tell a different story. And I think that
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: is it's like this open ended book over here that
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: just gets to live on and on and on.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I really admire that you're not obsessed with cracking the case.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: No, I had to let that go a long time ago,
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: because it's never going to get cracked. There's a lot
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: of things with transracial adoption that is very complicated. I mean,
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: there are stories, you know, mid seventies to mid eighties
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: where you know, American adoption agencies were basically stealing babies
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: and it was like they were selling these children internationally,
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: and there were accusations on a lot of these agencies.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: And so could I have been part of that. Maybe
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know, and I don't need to know, and
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: that's also okay, And I will never know. So the
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: things that I know for a fact may not even
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: be a fact, which to some people I think might
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: kind of drive them a little crazy. For me, it's
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: just it is what it is. There's nothing I can
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: do about it. So what I know is that the
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: story that has been told to me on paper written
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: in reports. Was a woman came in a clinic, room
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: number two. She was wearing a navy sweatsuit, she had
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: permed hair. She came in, she was five to four,
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: gave birth to me, never came back. They waited four days.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: They gave me over to the authorities, and then I
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: got shuffle around orphanages until I was adopted. That's the
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: story I tell. That's the story that I mostly believe.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: But there is a possibility that that's not true. So
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: my life's journey is not to solve that story. My
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: life journey is actually to just create the life that
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: I'm living and that I want.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate that second part. The question, the existential
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: question of like what is the meaning or purpose of
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: life gets thrown around, especially on podcasts, I think a lot.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: And the best answer I've ever heard was from Oprah
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: and Ruepaul in an interview, and RuPaul said, well, the
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: first thing is for me to enjoy this life.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. We don't have to figure everything out, we
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: don't have to have everything in order. You got one
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: living life right now that's happening. I mean, it would
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: be a horrible thing to watch that pass by trying
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: to like solve problems that really don't need to be solved.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, tell me the love story.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: So actually it's actually not romantic, I guess. So a
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: lot of my relationships before meeting my wife Bianca were
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: always founded and rooted in passion and lust that I
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: was getting confused with love and at that stage in
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: my life that was totally fine. Had a great time,
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: mildly toxic, but really exciting, and I learned a lot.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: So at that stage of my life, I thought that
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: was love, and that's okay. It was. I can componly
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: say that I have loved every one of my exes.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: With Bianca, it was the unexpected. It's the thing that
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't know. I moved to Austin to open a restaurant.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: I had never been there. We have a whole corporate
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: team from New York that's coming in, so we're all
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: meeting in this place to open up this project. And
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: over time Bianca and I became friends. Six or seven
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: months we were friends and entered a relationship like that
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: before because you go out on a date and the
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: goal is to see where this goes, and to date
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: and have a relationship with Bianca. I wasn't looking for
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: a relationship, but this friendship started to build, and so
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: that foundation of getting to know somebody before putting the
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: pressures on the future was a very new feeling for me.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: And so just it happened. I can't it's hard to
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: give all the different ways that it happened because I'm
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: not exactly sure what was going on. But eventually we
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: got to a place where it was like, I think
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling something. I don't know if she is, and
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: I don't want to like overstep. It was also a
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: part in my career where like I was like, I
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: don't really want to mess up this working professional relationship
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: that we have and a personal friendship that has been built. Yeah,
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: and so I was treading very lightly and I don't
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: know it just it all happened because we like high fived,
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: and that high five lingered just a little too long,
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: and that was like a mutual I don't know, it
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: was all in high five. You both knew, Yes, it
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: was instant.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: That's so cool.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, after what six or seven months of knowing each other, and.
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: Then you knew it was worth risking the friendship. It
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: was it was worth finding out where it went. And
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: I think because at that point, I mean again, we
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: had developed a foundation of friendship for six or seven months.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like it was a really confident box to stand
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: on to want to go into the next stage.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: Tell me, if you're willing, how you've changed now being
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: in love with Beyonce.
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: I cry a lot more. She required of me to
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: become more emotionally available. I thought I was. I was not.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: That's interesting, yeah, and heart I thought.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: That I always needed to be this strong pillar of
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: like strength and having it all together. And when doing that,
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: I thought that meant I wasn't allowed to feel all
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: the things that made me sad, or that made me pry,
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: or things that softened me. So she required me to
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: be that for myself first and foremost, which then you know,
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: helps out her. She is the most. There aren't enough
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: words that I know that can properly describe the human
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: that she is. I don't and it's you know, I
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: talk about her all the time and I'm running out
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: of words because they're not they don't carry enough weight.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: It is a feeling. Every single person that has ever
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: cross paths with her have always said to me, how
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: fuck did you get this one? I'm like, I don't know.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: She is she is compassionate, she is strong, she has
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: this magical empathy about her and how she moves through
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: the world. She has the heart of of goals. It's
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: it's a it's a feeling. I don't know, I don't
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it is.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: And so it's been like to exhale in this relationship.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: I have never felt more myself and have been given
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: more permission to be all the versions of myself, all
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: of them without judgment. It is truly the definition of
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: unconditional love, which prior to Bianca I only knew that
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: in the form of my families unconditional love. You talk,
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: we talk about getting older and feeling more free. It
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: is exactly the same feeling. You can breathe, you can disagree,
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: you can fight, you can have arguments to you can
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: have challenges, but like everything is grounded and we are
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: doing like we are going like this is ours. It's
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: not going anywhere, and so you're so willing to go
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: through all that stuff because you know it's going to
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: be okay.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: I saw you well up a little bit when you're tied.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: I typically cry when I talk about her.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: What are you feeling?
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of layered feelings because for a long
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: time I didn't think I was going to be able
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: to get married. Why because it wasn't legal. I mean,
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: it wasn't legal for same sex couples to get married
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: until twenty fifteen. That's insane. Yeah, and so I never
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: thought it was something I could dream. I struggled a
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: lot with my sexuality when I was a kid, wondering
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: if I was ever ever going to live a life
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: that felt true to me. And so when you find
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: that person that allows you to do all those things
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: in a time where it is now possible. But there's
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: this thing that in the book, it says, one day
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: I will wake up knowing that I have lived my genuine,
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: out authentic life longer than I had not been living. Yeah,
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: I'm not there yet. I still haven't crossed over that
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: threshold of living in that majority yet, and so I
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: never take it for granted I'm allowed to live. Yeah,
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: it's more than gratitude. It's a possibility that I thought
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: was impossible for a long time.
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad you had that.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, got me too, because I don't know if anyone
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: you can read it in the book that I don't
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: know if anyone understood unless you have felt it before,
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: the hopelessness and the like kind of gave up on
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: thinking that you were ever going to be able to
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: live the life you could live. I still remember that
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: feeling deeply.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know that that ever goes away, like you
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: can access that so quickly.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: But I think when you channel it and you push
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: it into attitude and love and opportunity and possibility, it
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: just it fuels it even more.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: Were there any books or stories or movies that gave
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: you hope when you were growing up that made you
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: think like it made you feel seen at all?
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't think so. My mom and
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: dad tried. They would read me like the Korean Cinderella,
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: you know, I would see queer people on TV, but
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: it was never it was different. It was different back then.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: So no, I think that's why it almost felt I've
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: almost felt hopeless.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: Your life is such a testimony then, I mean, I
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: hope so, krimh I do some rapid fire with you,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: Kristin the last time, you were a real life trader.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: I was a trader to myself the last time I
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: said yes to what I think was the wrong job
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: for me.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: The most underrated fried food.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: I know you said rapid fire, but I take these
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: very seriously.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: No, I appreciate this.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: Would you consider a fried pickle underrated? Yeah? Okay, fried
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: pickle delicious, never had dipped it. And excuse me now,
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: I'm serious. The most overrated fried food only because they're
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: everywhere on menus. Fried olives. I don't need a fried olive.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what that would be like.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: You just take an olive, dip it and do egg
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: washed bread from and fry it. I'm okay on that.
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: I don't need that.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, the silliest way that you've injured yourself in the kitchen.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: Oh god, you really want to know, Okay. I was
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: in my twenties. It was a very interesting time of
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: my life in Chicago. I was having a lot of
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: fun doing extra curriculars, and I went to work not
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: fully in my present body. I caught my finger. That
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: was so dumb. It was so dumb. Oh my god.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: But also recently, like three christmases ago, this is it?
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: Scratch that first answer, three christmases ago, Like I have
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: this beautiful Japanese knife and I was washing it and
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: I took the sponge.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: I'm scared to hear that story.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: Washed it and I had the sponge in one hand
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: and a knife in the other. I got distracted. I
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: went to ring out the sponge, but I closed the
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: knife hand and my wife took me to the emergency room.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: And it was kind of funny that she was having
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: a hard time. I was like laying in bed on
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: the thing with my hand up, and she had to
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: lay down in the hallway because she couldn't look at
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: my hand anymore. And they kept going to her being like,
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: are you okay. It's like the moment, you know when
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: like the husband passes out because the wife is giving
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: birth to a human child.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: It was a little like that moment, okay. The most
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: underutilized condiment.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: Underutilized Okay, I say this because it's very divisive condiment, mayonnaise.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: It belongs in everything, in anything you can cook with it.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: It can go in sweet, savory, baked goods. It can
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: be a sauce, it can be a thing to help
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: brown and crisp things.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: God it with French fries and ketchup.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: French fries and anything. It is beautiful. It translates to
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: every part of the kitchen for me. Totally agree.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, best dinner party hack, and I'm asking for a
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: friend with this one.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: Best dinner party hack, Like, what's added value?
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: Or why wouldn't you you had to eat one thing
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: for the rest of your life and fingers the chef
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: you'd want to make your last meal?
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: Ooh good Meylan, she's a former Top Chef winner. He
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: is one of the most brilliant cooks that I know.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's a huge answerable. Okay, something every woman should
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: try once.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: Shaving their head. I did it. I did it, and
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: I grow back. It wasn't my favorite, but it wasn't
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: the worst either.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: Of a good shaped head. Kristin, No, I don't know.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: That's why. No, that's why I grew up back. The
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: profile is a little flat. So I think it was
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: a very liberating moment for me.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, a book you read that changed your life, something
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: you think everybody should read.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: I don't read books.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: Do you listen to them?
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: Nope?
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: So you wrote one.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: My book changed my life.
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: There you go. Okay, grab the question everything, Cardiga, Okay,
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: shuffle through. It's like Taro, I really believe you get
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: which everyone calls to you.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, and I just picked one. Yeah, I see there's
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: a red one floating right. That's the instruction card. Do
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: plants thrive or die in your care? This is a
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: perfect question. Well, they die, but my wife makes them thrive,
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: so I win. And that's why you're a perfect care exactly. Kristin,
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: you are such a joy to be with. Thank you,
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: Thank you very much, as are you. Thank you for
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: making me cry cute.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: To have a good day. I'll see you next week.