Latest / Be It Till You See It / 641. Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love

Transcript

641. Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love · Be It Till You See It

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Being it till you see it is not about faking it, and it's also not about overdoing it.
• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: It truly is knowing who you want to be and loving yourself enough to do the things that get you there.
• 0:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Beat till you see it podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring.
• 0:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm also Logan, Ply's instructor and fitness business coach.
• 0:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: My friends, action brings clarity.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's the antidote to fear.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Each week my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
• 0:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, welcome back.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Beat, babe, how are you?
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so we are finishing our self-love series for now.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we'll add on to it and also it's really crazy is in between recording one and two, I interviewed two amazing women who will come out at different times, but they were validating.
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: How important the series is and just the words that they were giving and so I know that the beat pod is always giving tips on loving yourself and you know, I need to know yourself.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm hoping that this episode gives you some tools.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some of the ones I have some that you I sent in.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So thank you so much.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then just some things to think about, right?
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then we'll also do a burnout series and they, they go hand in hand and they go hand in hand with the habit series, right?
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: So all this is saying that being it till you see it is not about faking it and it's also not about overdoing it.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: It truly is.
• 1:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: knowing who you want to be and loving yourself enough to do the things that get you there.
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you're not going to like everything, right?
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to, it's not going to be easy, but it's easy to already be there.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then you'd have something else to want.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: So this is the tools.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: So to be honest in the first one, please go back to the first one, because I think what the first one we always talked about was what is self love?
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like why do we start going with it?
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why do we need it?
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then what does it look like?
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: So now we're in the tools for loving yourself.
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: in preparation for this series, one of the things that I actually read, but I thought the whole series would be about, and it's just part of it.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is actually a book that's called Love Yourself, like your life depends on it.
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And the first half is a bunch of tools, and the second half is a journey of him falling back in love with himself.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that part is actually a really quick read and it's beautiful and it's like short snippets and the vulnerability is really amazing and the tools are really cool.
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: So one of the tools and the book that I particularly liked and have used, are you ready?
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: You will play a song that you like, that makes you feel good.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, if you don't know that, here's a simple one.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Go into whatever music app you use, hit instrumental music so that it has no words.
• 3:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and then just hit play on one.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Then you're going to close your eyes and listen for the length of the song every time you inhale you say I love myself and every time you exhale you let something go.
• 3:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Inhale I love myself.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exhale let something go.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just let enough you just let the air go.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's it.
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're mind wanders you just go am I inhale and exhale I'm inhale I love myself.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love me.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love what I do for
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: that I really like because there's a lot of tools out there and I might even say some that I'm like, okay, I think this could work for somebody, but it might not work for me.
• 3:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's fine, right?
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's there's an enemy tools that don't work for me, but that doesn't.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I actually really love that one.
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's a couple others that I think are fabulous.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I might work for you.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't work for my ADHD frame, but I, that one, I love that one is easy to do.
• 3:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can do what I'm driving, you know?
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Mindfulness and meditation and journaling to process thoughts and practicing self-compassion by training yourself with kindness and other helpful practices are setting boundaries and practicing gratitude and celebrating your accomplishments.
• 4:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: We already talked about what self-love looks like and self-love looked like, having self-compassion and kindness and having boundaries.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, of course, the tools include doing those things.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: But
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: If they're hard for you, how do you do them?
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And also, like, I'm a big fan of, like, well, I'm my supposed to journal.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm like doing anyways.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, of course, you know, journals are there to help process your thoughts and emotions.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And particularly experiences and gain a better understanding of yourself.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: But like, what do you journal?
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, some of the past be a guest have mentioned a few different things of journaling.
• 4:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, one guest David Corbin, he said, just grab a piece of paper, write a question at the top of it.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Close your eyes and meditate on that question and with your eyes closed, write down stuff.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: because there's also like something about like your brain will remember what you wrote down and what's important will be there, but sometimes it's the alpha page.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: We've also had people who talk about like the morning pages, just like getting up and writing things down on a page and not even worrying what it is.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And our terror episode we talked about, you know, like you can draw a card and then have reflections, questions for that card that day.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: So there are a million different ways if you also just are like, I mean, something better.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Look, just literally Google, journal prompts for self love.
• 5:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 5:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: You'll get something and then you can journal that.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can't do it wrong.
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I don't particularly like journaling on a computer.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I will say that might be something you might want to do as an intellectual journal.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I know you might have the reader handwriting, I can't remind, but I do think it's really helpful.
• 5:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I notice when I journal regularly, I get to the bottom of like, oh, I'm in fear right now.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's sometimes hard to self reflect without being able to write down the things that are on there.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: mindfulness and meditation.
• 5:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: So actually this UCLA has a mindfulness institute and they actually have classes on mindfulness and you can mind fully suck on a frozen grape, right?
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like mindfulness is that you can mind fully walk.
• 5:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like you can go outside and just like, I'm gonna take one step in front of the other.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: So mindfulness is really about being present, but a tension is like sitting down and like clearing your head as best you can and in a focus on your breath.
• 6:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And something I love about meditation experts is that you can, if you, if you remind one or just go, okay, and I'm back, right?
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, uh, there's a ton of different meditation practices out there.
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you've read the book, breathe, there's some really great breath work meditations in there.
• 6:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I highly recommend,
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you don't have a meditation or mindfulness practice, what I would suggest you do is actually kind of go on a journey of trying out ones that you would like.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is part of the self-compassion.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is part of the boundaries.
• 6:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is part of the self-care.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: The self-love is like love yourself enough to go, okay, do I like sitting still for five minutes?
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, do I prefer walking around the block with that my phone?
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do I prefer walking with one foot step in front of the other?
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do I like a guided meditation?
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do I need to hear someone's voice?
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do I like a breath-work meditation or combat breath-work meditation by like box-breathing or do I like, you know, whim-hoff style, things like that?
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if that is like, oh, that'd be a great tool for going to practice myself love, then use the habit series to help you figure out a time to do that, and then try out different types of meditation to you find one that works for you.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then I love that self compassion is going to come next because have the compassion for yourself if you don't find that meditation practice on day one right so it's all self compassion is basically just like training yourself the way you treat others and you know here's the thing if we are having people who are like you're you're treating wonderfully and they're treating like crap.
• 7:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: it's because you're treating you like crap and you're like you're getting friendships that are like that because that feels comfortable to you.
• 7:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So really have some self compassion.
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Talk to have the same kindness and love for yourself.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: You do with other people and the same thing when someone else has a mistake or makes it as sort of something like notice how you treat them and how to treat yourself and and you can't do all these things that went to my love.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: So pick one of these to work on at a time.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Positive affirmations, so some people like this, we had Nicole Mitchell, she had a lot of affirmations on posts that surround her house and she would take them down and people came over because she don't want people to know what it's going on.
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I love having, like a half positive affirmation, there's apps out there that throughout the day will like even send you a positive affirmation, like have that if that's what you need, especially if you're not so good at noticing the things you are doing wonderfully in this, I notice a lot of people have it hard times than any wins, right?
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: a gratitude practice.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So this one is interesting.
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some people in the coaching world love a gratitude practice.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some people hate it.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's like the five-minute journal that's really good about this.
• 8:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: The two book I was listening to, like by yourself, the fucking two lips.
• 8:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't forget writing that 10 things she likes every day.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some people think that like this is stupid, your gratitude practice doesn't work eventually.
• 8:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: You like just keep repeating things.
• 8:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would say at that point, then you'd move on to a new practice, but if you don't have a gratitude practice, here's a thing about gratitude.
• 8:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I therapist told me, you're a gratitude and judgment can't live in the same space, right?
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you are struggling to have self-compassion, then I think a gratitude practice is a great way to get that as a tool under your toolbelt of self-love.
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're judging yourself, I want you to write down three things.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Stay through the I'm grateful right this.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm grateful.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm grateful that I washed my hair today.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I think it can be really good.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: This one's in me harder, but I do think it's important forgiveness, giving yourself permission to forgive you of past mistakes.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that might include like having a moment of grief or some time, you might come up with this in journaling, but like a lot of times people keep things in their life or do things in their life that they know are harmful to them longer than they want.
• 9:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's hard to let those things go, so it's one of the keep them around, because
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: you know it's easier to do that but it's bad and then we don't because if we get rid of it then we have to face this oh my god I can't believe I let myself have that in my life for so long and that's where forgiveness comes and self love is forgiving yourself.
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe your general practice is like when I need to forgive myself about, right?
• 9:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that you can use these tools together.
• 9:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then limit self-criticism.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this is where I would encourage you to get a friend involved.
• 9:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when you are being self-deprecating, which I gave Hendrix, who's episode 400, would say, in his book, the big leap that self-deprecation is actually just part of you pulling like a bit as an upper limit problem, right?
• 10:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if you are judging yourself or being hard on yourself and it's around people, then I need you to have someone in your life who's going to go, okay, that's not helpful.
• 10:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Who does this in Cambodia?
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like any time someone apologized, I just told us another episode.
• 10:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not helpful, right?
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not helpful.
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Until you can get to the point where you're not helpful to yourself, right?
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: It can take a village to get unravel the habits we have, right?
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So behavioral lifestyle tools that would be studying boundaries, you might have to actually just start saying note everything and tell you and then say yes later because like most for the most part, you can say note a lot of things and then change your mind.
• 10:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so maybe it's that you have to come up with something in your notes is something that I had to do for a long time.
• 10:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was like in my notes, I had like three different ways to say note that I could just copy and paste.
• 10:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's amazing.
• 10:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need to check my calendar.
• 10:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I think we have something going on that night.
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let me, for right now it's a no, but I'll check and if I can't change, I'll get back to you.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my God, thank you for thinking of me.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel so honored.
• 10:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need to take a moment to take a look on my calendar and see if I can do that.
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Though all of those were easy for me to pretty much plug and play into almost any imitation anywhere, and then I could get the urgency and need for me to be responsive to people.
• 11:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: I could solve that, but then it gave me about me some time to do I really want to go to that thing.
• 11:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do I want to spend time with those people?
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 11:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, is a complete sentence, by the way.
• 11:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, but it can feel hard, especially if you're not used to it.
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And the other thing is like, when you are setting boundaries, you might have to,
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: tell people, hey, like we had Sherry Tigman on the podcast coming up and it's possible already came out might be my after this, but I really encourage you to listen to episode if you haven't if it's been already out and then if you haven't then listen to it maybe a couple times but she gives some great tips about how to tell people, you know, hey before I was okay with this and I'm not
• 11:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it might mean addressing that with people who it's not now for, but it's not an attack on them.
• 12:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's not that they're an asshole.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just that you no longer able to be available in that way.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then the thing is when we set boundaries has to have to enforce them and it's not easy, but again, right down different ways, like, okay, if you know someone's going to break a boundary or ask to do something at a different time that you didn't want them to have a prewritten thing, I asked a I to help you hate my friend.
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to change this thing.
• 12:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be up at that time.
• 12:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, how can I write this thing?
• 12:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It will write it for you.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Got me in paste it right until you can figure out how to say no, you know often times people don't care We'll ever think things.
• 12:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my gosh.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I watched this like really funny Real where like it was based on like horoscope signs and like this one guy is like these three signs and the person was like
• 12:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I thought you were going to come over.
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then he's like, you thought I was going to come over, like he's reacting to it as a, like, aquarium, Scorpio, whatever.
• 12:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then the other person is like, three other things.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's just like, come on over.
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, it was just really, I wish I'm not doing a great job explaining it, but like, most people, we're reading it with this negative.
• 13:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my God, and I'll let them down when I send this.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they're going, they're reading it as like, oh no big deal, right?
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of big deal.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's okay.
• 13:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 13:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's possible that.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: And setting boundaries, you do lose some relationships in that way.
• 13:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I would just say like, it's probably wasn't the most healthy relationship for you in the first place.
• 13:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because if loving yourself means they can't be in your life, then it's possible.
• 13:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just was a relationship about to expire.
• 13:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 13:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or if you really want the relation to stay, you'll definitely want to understand about our bed's episode about how to create a relationship in a way that works with them, right?
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: That also works with you, which is like, what else can you relate on if this thing that you've a boundary on is no longer relatable?
• 13:49
  [UNKNOWN]: Yeah?
• 13:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Self-care routines, you know, have a big fan of a self-care routine, but you need to have self-care routines and self-care routines do need to be a daily weekly thing.
• 13:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Self-care is not a reward.
• 13:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Self-care is a need.
• 14:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a need.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right.
• 14:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: This one, of course, I love this tool's amazing.
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's celebrate achievements.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: You guys in need to email me, your achievements, and the be it pod.com slash questions, and achievements can be I got out of bed today.
• 14:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: achievements can be I finally signed up for that class I've been wanting to go to.
• 14:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Achieveance can be like I try to new hobby they can be I told a friend no there's so many things they can also be big like I got a promotion.
• 14:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's so many different types of achievements but you have to celebrate them it's part of self love.
• 14:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're never celebrating the things you did do it's going to start to feel like everything you do all these things for all these people and there's like what's the point?
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well the point is like celebrating the
• 14:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: and between the things that like, oh, wow, look what I did.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, you got to celebrate that.
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Spitting time alone, oh my god, this is not a problem.
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: For me, I love this, but self love is also like taking time to get to know yourself and be alone with yourself and, and if you have a hard time with that I highly recommend, like, that you're now it's going on.
• 14:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to be an introvert.
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can still get energy from people, but being able to be alone with your self is a sign you've got to love, love being with you.
• 15:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Surrounding so with positivity so this is it's possible like I went through a time in 2020 where like people were just oh we all did right and people just being really negative and the calls were just often really negative and I just said like you know right now I'm available to to be a friend on these topics but not that one
• 15:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that piss some people off, and I haven't talked to them.
• 15:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm sad about that, like that I don't take that lightly at all.
• 15:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: But also, I needed a different way of a friendship at that time.
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that is okay, and I'm allowed to need that.
• 15:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they are allowed to have to have a friend who needs a bit with them, and that's okay, right?
• 15:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: But loving yourself is truly making sure that you are around people who not just support you, but uplifting you, and like you feel good after you leave, right?
• 15:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're around people that it just feels like after you leave, you feel like the energy is sucked out.
• 15:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's time to have some self-love and put some boundaries in place.
• 16:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and then clear space.
• 16:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: So this is not an action item for any of you who use clearing your space as a reason why you do not
• 16:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if you're like, let's say you all these things and I still don't feel like I have it, maybe there is too much clutter and it's affecting your brain, we may be able to see all the possibilities that you're doing in half love for yourself.
• 16:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's also some suggestions for self love that having some goal-oriented tools, so like making sure you're setting realistic goals as a part of your self love.
• 16:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I see a lot of people that we coach that some unrealistic goals, they're not hit those goals and then judge themself.
• 16:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it might be time to have some realistic goals.
• 16:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that doesn't mean you lower your standards or you lower your ability to dream, but maybe it's about making like smaller stepping stones of a major goal so that you can work towards actually accomplishing that and then you have to celebrate the did it, right?
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: part of self-love is just also knowing what your strengths are.
• 16:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm very clear on what my strengths are and are not.
• 16:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And loving myself means saying no to things that are, I know I'm going to do a terrible job.
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to feel bad about how you did it.
• 17:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, that means I have to hire people and I have to ask for help and I have to ask for support.
• 17:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I can lean so much into my strengths.
• 17:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I have more energy afterwards because of it.
• 17:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we've had several guests on the be a pod who
• 17:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: and I really highly recommend checking out the couple of guests we've had on that and just going through and getting help on, I didn't know if I what your strengths are, right?
• 17:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then embracing creativity.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, that could be hobbies that could be just an out like you do, it could just be like maybe you go take an art class and you go take a stone carving class, like find something, but finding some way to be creative is often a really
• 17:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: great way to not just practice the compassion and kindness, but also to get to know yourself, you know, can be kind of meditative and you have to be mindful and creative space.
• 17:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: So the other things that we'll just say is we have a couple more categories that I want to explore, emotional, mental self-love, and that is going to include the boundaries and the case of compassion and the forgiving yourself, and then challenging negative top and spending time reflecting.
• 18:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this one is we haven't talked about this yet, not comparing.
• 18:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, they say comparisons to the thief of joy comparison is okay if it means that you're able to see what you want and you don't want in your life.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: But then you have to be curious, right?
• 18:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I love that the emotional self, a mental self-love tools are very similar to all the other types of tools we've had.
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because sometimes we can have self-love in some areas and not in other areas, and so hopefully that helps you.
• 18:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know,
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Self-love is also taking care of the physical body that you have, and that is going to be the movement rituals you have and the movement practice you have.
• 18:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: But also self-love is honoring your body.
• 18:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now I just was talking with this girl that I used to teach and she was asking questions.
• 18:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, you know, I'm so grateful that people have discovered these studies that show that as women, if we honor our cycles and we move within them, we can be stronger faster.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: better, right?
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so listening to your body is self love.
• 19:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: So sometimes I hear people are hard in themselves for not going and going for a run or not going and lifting is hard that week because they needed to do more yoga.
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's listening to your body.
• 19:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: You are practicing self love.
• 19:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't be so hard in yourself, right?
• 19:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: So do you see how like we tend to do something
• 19:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then we tend to be harsh to ourselves, which negates the self-love that we did.
• 19:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: So honoring your body, and then I would celebrate that as an achievement.
• 19:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then something else you can think about is, and that's this really cool thing that I discovered.
• 19:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you were truly struggling with like, how do I love myself?
• 19:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: you know, there's the idea of like, how do you like to give love?
• 19:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you like to give loves and word of affirmations?
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you like to give love in the form of physical gifts?
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you like to give love in the form of touch or quality time or accessorFC?
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like the five love languages, and I know those are debunked a bit in a bit, but also like they're applicable, right?
• 19:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so that thinking about like partnering up with people, think of like, how do you
• 20:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: and then give yourself that in return.
• 20:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you love to tell people things about that fall into words of affirmation, then it's time for you to do words of affirmation towards you.
• 20:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you love to give people physical gifts, then give yourself some physical gifts.
• 20:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you love touch, then go get yourself a massage.
• 20:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 20:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like if you love quality time, spend some quality time with yourself.
• 20:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you love to do things for people, do things for you.
• 20:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So try that out in your effort to make self love part of your daily life.
• 20:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think it's just, there's some really great things to that.
• 20:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you listen to me on that and you're like, I need some more ideas.
• 20:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Definitely reach out to be a pod.
• 20:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can help you with that.
• 20:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've got some extra tools under here, but I just wanted, I don't want to overwhelm you with tools.
• 20:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like that is the thing that the listeners that I tend to attract are like, give me everything.
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to try 17 things that I want.
• 20:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just want to try like one thing at a time.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because I want self-love to be a thing that you can be at tell you see, right?
• 20:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I will put this in the show notes.
• 20:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: There are a bunch of Montrose.
• 20:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have 58 Montrose here for self-love.
• 21:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to make sure my team has it for the show notes.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And here's a few of them that I just stood out to me as I read through.
• 21:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I deserve love, just as I am.
• 21:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a beacon of self-love.
• 21:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I choose to see the beauty within me.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm worthy of self-care and self-love.
• 21:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I believe in myself fully.
• 21:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I deserve to be happy.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's hopefully what this does because like, look, I love doing all the interviews, but I also think that information with that integration is constipation.
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I had a coach say to me once.
• 21:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: So all the tools in the world, all the tips and advice don't work if you don't first love you.
• 21:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: right?
• 21:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: They just become more things.
• 21:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I promised you guys, I promised you guys some tools from you guys.
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: So these are real people who have real tools for self-love.
• 22:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay?
• 22:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Polies education and gratitude towards myself, not just the universe or the good things I made happen.
• 22:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Brook Siler, Pilates.
• 22:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Self-love tools equal bats, learning new skills.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's doing tennis.
• 22:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: not escaping stress without a call.
• 22:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Beautiful.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then, plus physio essay that's on you, tools booking in sessions that are not allowed to move whether it's on my own, workout, or paid.
• 22:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's in.
• 22:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Heidi Malone said, I scheduled at least one evening a week to relax after work.
• 22:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I read or I watch a comfort show.
• 22:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: These are beautiful.
• 22:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Beautiful.
• 22:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, do you see how those reflect all the different tools
• 22:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: the time with the self movement, the creativity, right?
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: The gratitude practice, celebrating achievements, self care movement.
• 22:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: You are so loved by so many people.
• 23:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And my hope from these two episodes is that you truly find love for yourself.
• 23:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you have it already, send in other ideas and wins.
• 23:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Send in the wins, but also send in any other tools and we'll put them in another show.
• 23:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much.
• 23:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, be a taste to you.
• 23:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's all I got for this episode of The Beat Tell You See A Podcast.
• 23:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
• 23:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
• 23:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at The Beat Pot on Instagram.
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would love to know more about you.
• 23:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
• 23:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Help us and others be a tell you see it.
• 23:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Have an awesome day.
• 23:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Be it till you see it is a production of the blue pod cast network.
• 23:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one and three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
• 23:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
• 24:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at disenio.co.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Our theme music is by L.E.
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
• 24:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
• 24:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
• 24:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And finally, the Meredith route for keeping us all on point and on time.