Latest / The Bridges and Beacons Podcast / The Power of Language, Awareness, and Inner Change with Carol Pilkington

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The Power of Language, Awareness, and Inner Change with Carol Pilkington · The Bridges and Beacons Podcast

• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Mystic Nerd Squad Podcast.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Kelly Meyerson, and I'm so excited for this episode.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: My guest, Carol Pilkington, am I saying that properly, Carol?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, good, is here.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: And we are going to talk about the nature of language.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: And before we start that, I just want to share with you this stellar bio about Carol.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: With over 30 years of combined training in spirituality, astrological counseling, personal development, and deep transformational work, Carol works with high-achieving entrepreneurs and business owners who are living in a state of anxiety, depression, grief, loss, and feeling isolated.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: She shows them how to move through and beyond it so they can live life with more presence, energy, and joy.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Carol is a three-time Amazon best-selling and international best-selling author.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: She's spoken on numerous podcasts and radio shows and appeared on multiple stages, like Barbara DeAngelis, Glenn Moorshower, Jack Canfield, and Susie Pruden.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Carol, for being here.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: That is an amazing bio.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like you've had some crazy and cool experiences over time.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm really excited because I'm such a geek for science and spirituality and where they intersect.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: So you're the perfect guest because it sounds like science and spirituality are two of the worlds that you've lived in as well.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I I try and bring things down to earth and that are accessible.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so I combine, um, I would say quantum physics and spirituality because they're so intertwined.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's about the inner and the outer.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: And let me ask you this, because I think a lot of people hear quantum physics and they start to like feel like they're in 10th grade math and they're really struggling or science, and they're like, what is this quantum physics?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: How could can you explain quantum physics in a simple manner?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let me give you an example.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's um an experiment called the double slit experiment.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what that was was um they did an experiment with uh linear slots, a slot of um where particles can go through these slots.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And when they did this experiment, they saw that the uh these particles created patterns and they were predictable patterns.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: But when the experiment, when these particles were observed as they were going through the these slips, something changed.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Their patterns changed.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: So what does that have to do with us as human beings, right?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, when we observe something, when we observe thought patterns in our mind, when we observe something, it changes, it shifts.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Anything that is observed tends to shift.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because we become aware of it, we become conscious of it, and so it has to shift, it's the law of physics.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: I I love that, and it makes me think of a couple things.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: The first that comes up for me is um when I started reading Eckert Tolle and New Earth a bunch of years ago.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it could be more than a decade now, I'm not even sure how long ago it was.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: But I remember first just feeling blown away by his term, like being the watcher, watching the mind, paying attention to the mind, but the mind is not you, and just being blown away.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what do you mean my mind is not me?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so it makes me think of that.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it also makes me feel like that word awareness is such a big one.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, maybe a little underutilized, but like when that awareness happens, like for me, when Eckertoly told me I was the watcher watching my mind and the the pain body and what the pain body was doing, like that awareness made me shift completely from who I was or my identity of self.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that awareness is such a huge piece.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: It really is, because who is doing the observing?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: You have to ask the question who is being observed, what is being observed, and who is doing it, and it's one in the same.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: We are observ, we are observing self.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: We are the same as the observed, the observer and the observed are one in the same.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: And that for a lot of people is like, but my mind just got twisted in little teeny tiny knots.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: You're saying Carol, untangle the knots for me.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I I'm really excited to talk about language because I think this is I'm a word person.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I love words, I love poetry, I love writing, an author like you, um, I love speaking, same as you, right?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're also into public speaking.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: So words are huge and powerful for me.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so how did you get started in your interests in language?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Good question.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I was introduced to Alfred Korzibsky and his work in science and sanity many years ago.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And he created a work under general semantics.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then in the 70s, um, neurolinguistic programming was was created, but it was really an offshoot of Alfred Kozzipsky's work.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And basically it is paying attention to the react number one, it's paying attention to the reactivity that we have to words, and we uh tend to not separate the word from the thing itself.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And let me give you a concrete example of that.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: So we have um a map of the United States or any other territory, and there are lines and symbols and everything that tell you what these things are, if they're mountains, if they're roads, if they're throughways and stuff like that.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: But you it's just a map, it's a description of what is actually out there.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: But we have to go and experience directly experience it in order to really know it.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's a we tend to break that uh that pause, that gap between the map and the reality of the territory itself through direct experience.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so we believe that uh whatever word we express is the thing itself.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you were on an island and you were a native and you saw something on the horizon, we might see it because we have a word for it to describe it as a ship.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: But a native on the island looking out on the horizon, seeing what we would call a ship, would say where they wouldn't even say anything, they just point, right?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's that pause between the word and the actual thing itself.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so what he would do is actually have exercises where people would point to an item or an object and before naming it just point to it so that they would get in their mind that there's there needs to be a pause between the word and responding to it.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like we have different when we are talking, a lot of times we might get triggered by something, a word that somebody says, but another person wouldn't have the same reaction, it would just roll off their sh roll off their back, right?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so that demonstrates that the word is not the thing itself, it's a description of something.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I I love this so much because if we use that that story, that that uh metaphor of you know, you you live on an island and you've never seen a ship before, and a ship comes over the horizon and you don't call out, there's a ship, you just point and say, So, how many times in our human experience are we introduced to something that we don't have the words for?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: And we may just put a hand up, like, nope, nope, I don't understand that.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: That is not for me.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I mean, I feel like if you're you know into the the spiritual woo-woo type world, like there are a lot of people who you say, I'm I'm into spiritual things, they're like, oh, nope, that like has a meaning for them, and they don't know exactly what it is, except that it puts that point of hesitation because they there's something attached to that word for them.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: They have a belief about that, about that word and what it means to them, and we all are like that in our lives.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: We have reactivity uh towards uh words, uh but when we allow ourselves to have distance between the word and the meaning that we uh automatically put toward it, it something shifts within us.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: We can actually have a different response to it.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's making me so curious, and I think you know, using spirituality as the example, you know, maybe when I was younger, I would have been like, that sounds like something that is not like safe or okay for me to be existing within.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: But now I hear spirituality, and I'm like, okay, tell me more.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, our spirituality, are you talking about being a wizard?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Are you talking about using magic?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Are you talking about talking to spirits?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what are we talking about?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like what that word means to me is so much more vast than it used to be.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe that there is so much more to it that I could be learning.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: So more than being reactive, it's it's this immediate curiosity with can I expand my understanding of what that means?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's absolutely right.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you just brought up something else with with regards to there's always more.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Another part of this work is um, you know how someone might be in conversation and they're trying to get in every single thing that they possibly can within the time that they have.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there's always more to say.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's never a loss for anything to say about any particular thing.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we can relax into that, then we don't have to try and jam everything into one expression, causing us oftentimes to fumble over our words, to repeat ourselves and say the same thing over and over again within a particular expression.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I we call it in the work that we do is et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's always more to say and always more to express about a particular thing.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that's another aspect of of the work with words and language.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the other thing that is part of this is understanding that we oftentimes talk in um language where we uh put everybody or everything into one category.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: We lump uh people into categories.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And when we do that, we tend to objectify the person.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like we call the we call the government or the company or the um society, not recognizing that all of those things are made up of individual people.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: So when we put everybody all in one lump category, we don't see the individual from it's like not seeing the the trees from the forest, right?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when we objectify one another, we don't make them real.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: We don't we don't understand what they might be going through.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like when the um a lot of these the federal government workers were laid off.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: We just think of the government, the federal government is is corrupt, the federal government does this, and but we're not thinking about all those wonderful individuals who have jobs and careers within that entity.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: We don't see them any longer as individuals with, you know, just like you and I, trying to make a decent wage every day and put food on the table.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: So that's another area in which language comes into play, how we language things in the mind to um to see how who people are or how they are not.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's so huge and can't be understated.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: And at least in the circles of people, probably that you and I are talking to, we're so much more about that sense of authenticity and individuality because each of us has our own strengths and ways that we can contribute to making the planet a better place.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: And the more we kind of get into that zone of our genius and share that with other people, the more that we're offering to the world.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so I love what you're saying about language can help or hinder that moving forward of society, humanity.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and if we're just languaging, like saying, like, oh, it's it's the conservatives' fault, it's the it's the you know, um, Republicans' fault.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: That that it's all the snowflakes, it's their fault, you know, and when we say those things, it really doesn't allow for that individual peace and it dehumanizes.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I think t for me, because I'm I'm a lover of humanity and equality and equity and all those things, there's a danger in removing the humanity from circumstances and lumping people into a group and not really thinking about these are individual humans.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: So when you were talking about, you know, people being laid off from the government, that some of those people, for example, were people who work in forestry, people who are protecting the environment.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I love that.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I also feel so curious your perspective on how do we improve that language when we're talking to our neighbor, when we're posting on social media.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Are there some key points or tricks or tips that we can take for me and the listener to do better going forward?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's a matter of practice, practicing being aware of the words we're using and how we're using them and how we're pointing fingers here, there, and everywhere.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and try and keep in mind as much as possible that we're talking about each one of us.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: When we're pointing a finger at someone else, it's also being pointed at us, at us individually, back at us.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I always like to say that um the world is we are the world, and the world is in us, and the more awareness we can bring to that every day in our language, the better off we're we'd all be.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: And the there's also the some but not all factor.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's true, sometimes it's this way, sometimes it's that way, but it's not always this way all the time.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: So using all um, you know, absolute language like never and um always and the they and the them, all these words, when we can become aware of how we automatically use these kinds of words, the better off we'll be able to understand not only our own psyche, but make others real as well.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the more we make ourselves real and pay attention to our own way of language, the more we'll be able to see it out there.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying very hard to be super conscious of that with myself, and I think some of it is the power that language has over us.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking about wrote phrases or stories, whether they're spoken aloud or repeated in our heads.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I know for so many people, those unconscious patterns of language can keep us kind of stuck where we are.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm trying to think of like a good one like um money doesn't grow on trees, you know, and underlying that is like there's not enough money for everybody, it's not easily accessible, it's probably not accessible to me, and like kind of creates that negative connotation that chases away the very thing that you probably want coming towards you.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: Does that is that a good explanation of that?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, yeah.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, not feeling good enough, not feeling worthy, not feeling like we matter.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: All of that is part of the language that we use on ourselves.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: We absorb language, we haven't learned language.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, for instance, when we were children, um we just picked it up, and it was based on the environment that we were exposed to in our family, in our culture, in our um society, and in our schools, all of that is absorbed.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like we were.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: were literally taught how to change our um I'm sorry to tie our shoes you take this string and you do this and you do this with the other side of the string.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, we weren't taught that with language.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was just, you know, absorbed.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I mean by that.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: And how we've perceived ourselves based on that.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I think one of the major challenges with that are it's not necessarily just the language we're absorbing in our own homes, but in the other systems where we exist.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: And what I kind of wonder about is the fact that we receive information at such a higher and faster rate today between social media, um the internet, chat GPT, you know, all of these ways that we're just getting so much more information and language coming through to us.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like what is that doing to our brains and our nervous systems?
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah oftentimes it's reinforcing what we already believe.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: We look we we tend to and until we begin to um question we are just drawn to material that will reinforce what we already believe about ourselves and how we see the world.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not like I said until we begin to question that something a crisis always has to has to appear to give us that nudge to begin to question all of that.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a major crisis in and of itself because it goes totally against everything that we know and are familiar with.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that's very, very scary to come up against that reality or the possible reality that all that we have believed is not true.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: What do we do with that?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I without all of that?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah yeah I it is scary and I I feel like it makes me think of the words blind faith.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know people who believe that if they subscribed to a specific religion or community group or a political party like I'm aligning myself with this group it is good.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: I am good I am safe I I care and then when something tells them that this that there might be people in this group who don't have aligned values with you it's like it really shakes their faith absolutely yeah I I know for example I have a friend um and her parents you know are are blindly believe in one political party over the other and no matter what thing she shares with them facts evidence they cannot make that shift so it kind of makes me feel like we probably can't shift other people we can present the circumstances but um if it's a no it's a no and their aura can't take on different information for whatever reason whether it's self-preservation or just their system would overload if everything they always believed was now not true.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah it it can be shattering life shattering because all the structures that we have built and put in place for ourselves become shattered it's like a um a building made of glass and all it takes is one stab and poke to have it all come down around us.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's frightening is all get out right and so one must keep those structures in place at all cost no matter what and no we cannot we cannot change anybody we can only do the work on ourselves change happens transformation happens at an individual level not en masse oh my gosh that's huge that might have just been earth shattering information for people transformation doesn't happen at that level it's an individual job I believe that I feel that in my heart and it makes me excited in the sense that if it's an individual job then it's our job to be the individual to be authentic to be who we are to embrace that to me like it's it's embracing the weirdness of saying like I'm a mystic nerd I'm into spiritual things I think it's really cool.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: I also love science I want to know more about it.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: I have a curiosity that cannot be satiated so I'm going to keep talking to people until I stop finding out new information.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: And until then I'll continue to be that way um I think when we do that when we choose to align with ourselves our individuality to embrace that and to start to question more um we give other people permission to do that as well and even though it might be scary at first it really does and I can speak from experience attract people to you who relate to that even if they don't have the the similarity in terms of this interest in the same exact things and it's not about getting back into categories it's more about oh you're a wild unicorn me too let me tell you about being our purple polka dot unicorn oh I'm a green shamrock unicorn I don't know I'm making this up but you know what I mean.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love it it's perfect that's so true.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah when when you know when we break out of the mold that we were born into there are others doing the same we are not alone and yet we feel like we're alone it feels like I'm the only one because we haven't met all of those others that are doing the same thing that are trying to break out of the mold and be more individualized more individuated going according to our own path and calling there's an affinity that naturally arises and I tell my clients this all the time that why would I be doing this work with with clients if that wasn't true if I wasn't a living example of that being true.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and they have to think about that oh yeah gee right there is light at the end of the end of the tunnel a lot of people are afraid to do this work because they are afraid that they'll be alone but they don't have to be yeah I also feel like so many of us on the journey felt like there was some sort of strength in going it alone in figuring out alone like don't give me the shortcuts.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: I need to like go through it and experience it and make my own mistakes um and I'm very excited about the potential for us not to have to do that because if we're really being in our zone of genius then we're helping people through with our zone of genius supporting them and theirs supporting us and that unique expression meaning that it can be easy for all of us because we can support each other more.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: We don't all have to go through it in the same painful way.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes and yet there'll be resistance right but resistance is healthy it's only the reason the only resistance that becomes unhealthy is when we begin to dig our our heels in and we're become unmovable but resistance just enables us to see that there's a place to go that there's a place to grow into there definitely been there Carol that that speaks to me personally I I think too that resistance fear um you know no matter what the fear is whether it's fear of being different fear of the unknown you know whatever that fear is it's that piece of yourself that is about preserving your life and keeping you alive.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right exactly it's very survival oriented yeah and that's important and a gift right we we want to have a healthy dose of fear so that we're not making choices that you know are either dangerous for us or potentially end our lives right so we don't want to be walking into traffic and things like that.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_01: We don't want to be fearless but we want fear to take a different role in our lives more of I love fear as an indicator fear is indicating there's some resistance here there's there's some discomfort here is this something that's coming up now that's ready to be healed is this something that is like wait take a minute is this really what you want let's sit back and take a moment or is this like the resistance that's digging in its heels like afraid to make that next change that might make you actually successful and that's that heads into the unknown what might happen I don't know I don't have the programming or knowledge for what's going to happen.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes I have learned to really embrace the unknown because there's wonder and magic in the unknown to be like a child again to have that sense of wonder and exploration with that with a abandon you know to be able to go into something and just look at every facet of it and experience it all that's what is so magical about the unknown I agree with you.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm right there with you so how do we get ourselves to a point where language is no longer using us we're using it we are the empowered user of language yes um first of all it takes awareness um and an acknowledgement that just maybe what I have been perceiving all along is no longer working for me and there must be another way.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we begin to ask that question that's where we're being led to something or someone that can guide us in such a way to open that door and see other possibilities out there.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: So we have the awareness and then we acknowledge and ask the question is there something else out there?
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: Is there another possibility?
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: Love the word possibility that's one of my favorites and using it as what else is possible?
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah inviting creativity especially when your mind has decided you're stuck and said nope this this is it this is the end there's no other way out of this we're completely stuck and I feel like that is an experience that most people have had at some point in time feeling completely stuck there is no way forward I'm this is it I can't think of anything else to do or any other creative solution.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think about you know when somebody comes to you and they say they tell you what their problem is and you say well have you tried this nope nope that'll never work have you thought about nope nope that'll never work and there's a no for every possible solution because they've already decided in their mind there is no solution right I mean we've all had that experience we've been on both sides maybe one more than yes uh in the past so how do we get out of that that kind of a situation where our mind has told us that this is it we're stuck well they they haven't reached a point maybe where they're ready to question you know they're when I come in contact with a potential client like that they that tells me that they're not ready yet or to you know uh be open minded to something new or that they know it already and sometimes uh you know something else has to happen for them to have a breakthrough for them to be open to another way of looking at things something that gets sparked in what somebody says can open that door it doesn't it might not take much that just might be on the precipice you know and um those are the people that are open and willing to do what it takes.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know I'm looking for people that are determined and hungry and have reached a point that this is the only doorway that I have left you know that every other door has been closed shut to me.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: But this one is the deal is the real deal yeah and I think one of the greatest skills that you can take on is the ability to have power over your mind and your thoughts and no longer have those subconscious patterns playing out for you and those stories and that repetition that has just kind of kept you stuck where you are so I'm hearing what you're saying is the people that would do best with you are people who acknowledge that they've been stuck and they're like just I'm ready let's do this I want to move forward I don't want to be here anymore and I'm ready to make real lasting change for myself yes yeah very hungry yeah hungry I like that it's like Les Brown says they've got to be hungry they've got to be hungry yes I mean we've all been there right and in our journey like I just know there's got to be something better than right here right now and I'm willing to do the work and put in the time so you have an upcoming four week program that you've put together what transformation are you inviting people into with this program I'm inviting people to begin to open their mind and gain clarity and understand how language actually works to keep them in that stuck place and to be able to work through that this will not only um improve their thought processes the decision making it'll improve their communication skills it'll it'll improve their relationships it'll improve their ability to um navigate conflict all of these things um when we really understand the structure of our language and how it how it manifests in our lives the world can change our world can change and our perception of the world can change I love that so much I'm curious too how much do you think really pausing and taking some time to plan out what you're gonna say versus just being quick in your responses how much does that make a difference?
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: It makes a big difference but also the clearer the mind the quicker you'll be able to respond in uh in a non-reactive way it's really miraculous because in my experience when I had when when I went through this work of understanding how I was in the cycle of repetition of um believing my own falseness if you will and I cleared those cobwebs away I was able to respond better and quicker.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know how sometimes you you've been in conversations and you walk away saying gosh I wish I could have said this differently or I wish I could have said that oh I didn't get a chance to say this well you'll be able to because you'll be ever so present in the moment with the people that you're with that you'll be able to respond clearly and quicker spontaneously and that's there's such an aliveness in that so that you're not in your head ruminating about things any longer you're just there with another person I love that so much can't be understated I think I say I feel not that I think I feel like that just feels better feels more easy has more flow to it to not have to be so much thinking in your head and I'm thinking you know maybe people I work with who are giving presentations and they're speaking to groups whether they're they're teaching their preaching doesn't really matter the purpose of it but being able to be present with those to whom you're speaking whether you're presenting or just having a face-to-face conversation getting into presence over really contemplation of what words am I using and am I using the right ones and you know too much thinking right yeah we're totally out of our head in that moment when we're able to just be and respond I I wonder too if some nervous system work is also helpful for this well yeah it actually does calm down the nervous system in the moment that we're able to process instantaneously something that somebody says and respond to it it's it does calm the nervous system down because in presence we are not nervous we are not anxious we are not anticipating we are just being I love that I love that so much Carol this has been such a delightful conversation I'm really excited for you for this program you have coming up um I think you said that it'll it will likely be towards the end of the summer 2025 so for now we don't have the specific links but um keep checking back to this episode of the podcast we'll make sure to update those links as soon as the spots are available um for Carol's program and certainly we'll have your contact information.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: Where is the best place for people to find you they can reach me at on LinkedIn but they can also reach me through my website Carolpilkington.com and I'm on LinkedIn.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: I also have a free gift if anybody's interested out there of taking a self-assessment test.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_00: You'll get instant results in your inbox and it's really fun it's about four minutes and it's called the soul filled living quiz dot com oh I love that it sounds very holistic it it covers like five different categories of of life that we can assess our own journey and you'll get instant results in your inbox but check your junk mail yeah I know we we do get quite a bit of junk mail these days don't we whether it's in the junk mail or the other box.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's a whole other conversation right Carol the our inundation with information and and what people have to say.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: But this has been a wonderful conversation I loved exploring all of this with you and um thank you for bringing some of these tools and tips and also giving us a little bit of the history um and some practical ideas for for our listener to put into place we'll have all of the links and the ways you can connect with Carol her website and that amazing free quiz that you can check out in the show notes.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if you really love this conversation there was something that resonated with you please share this with somebody else please like comment and rate the show I would love that so very much thank you because it helps it get out to other people.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: Carol and I are with so many others who are on a mission to change the world in positive ways.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: And Carol thank you again for being here any final words of wisdom for the listener?
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I would say just pause the the greatest thing that you can do for yourself is pause especially when you're in a stressful situation just take that deep breath and pause before you react or respond.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that can trigger um the proper the proper word that you're looking for because once you breathe into the moment you'll come up with the right word for anything that you're trying to say in the moment breathe.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: I love that pause breathe and let the word come to you I'm gonna try that Carol I love that yes I think that's such a a really fun game for us to play let's see how many times we can find that in our in our day-to-day lives pause breathe let the word come and the right words will come through I think that is a beautiful way to end this conversation thank you so much for being here Carol thank you for listening or watching and again make sure you like great review and come on back for the next episode of the podcast bye for now