Latest / When Killers Get Caught with Brittany Ransom / Sadie Solstice Was Almost Killed By her Ex-boyfriend

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Sadie Solstice Was Almost Killed By her Ex-boyfriend · When Killers Get Caught with Brittany Ransom

• 0:00
  Hey listeners, before we start today's podcast I would like to
• 0:02
  give a trigger warning. Today's podcast will feature
• 0:04
  some strong language, disgusting of domestic violence, sexual
• 0:08
  assault and discussion of wounds from a nearly fatal attack.
• 0:11
  If this is too much for you to listen to today, I completely
• 0:13
  understand and I hope to see you all in the future.
• 0:50
  Hey, everybody in serial killer country.
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  My name is Brittany Ransom and this is When Killers Get Caught
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  podcast of What is Deep Dives is the killers we love to learn
• 0:57
  about. And in season three we are going
• 0:59
  to talk one-on-one with people who've experienced crime or been
• 1:02
  deeply affected by the justice system in the United States.
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  But don't fret. You will still get your deep
• 1:07
  dives into how killers grew up, how they killed, and how they
• 1:10
  got caught. But I guess today was just 18
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  years old when she became the victim of a horrendous crime
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  that almost took her life. Her name is Sadie Solstice.
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  She's a lifestyle brand owner and a model.
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  And you might have seen her discuss this on TikTok, But
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  today we're going to dig a little bit deeper.
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  Hey there, Sadie. Hey, how are you?
• 1:29
  I'm good. How are you doing?
• 1:31
  Awesome. So like I said, I I came across
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  one of your videos. I'm not sure if it was a story
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  time. It might have been a slightly
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  shorter video and was just like, who's this?
• 1:45
  Right? And then I I continued talking
• 1:48
  to you and finally we managed to hook up so we could talk about
• 1:51
  what actually happened. Now I have actually listened to
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  all of your story time videos about this, but I think I guess
• 2:00
  we should start for people who haven't had a chance to figure
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  out or hear what you remember from the night of your attack.
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  You said it was January. It was February, actually.
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  Oh, February. OK, see I'm off.
• 2:16
  Yeah, so it was, it was the night of February 5th and it
• 2:20
  actually that's when it began, but it was actually the morning
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  early in the morning on February 6th when the attack really
• 2:28
  occurred. So it kind of took all night to
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  get to that point. But yeah, so the 5th and the 6th
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  of February. OK, So what starts us off the
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  night before everything goes off?
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  Actually, I'm gonna roll it back even further.
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  Let's talk about you and your ex.
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  Yeah, So the person that attacked me, his name is Marlon,
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  and he was somebody that I knew since middle school.
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  We were, you know, good friends in in middle school.
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  We had a brief middle school relationship where we dated for
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  just a few months. And then after breaking up, we
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  still remain friends for, you know, all of high school until I
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  graduated in 2016. And that's when him and I began
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  another romantic. Like relationship, you know, a
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  more serious one, being that we were older at that point.
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  He was a year older than me. And yeah, we we just started
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  getting really close. We started dating and then he
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  somehow convinced me that it was a a great idea for us to get
• 3:33
  pregnant and have a baby, even though we were teenagers,
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  freshly out of school, living in the car most nights.
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  But he convinced me, so I got pregnant with his baby.
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  OK, let's pause on that. Living in your car?
• 3:48
  What exactly do you mean by that?
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  Yeah. So just at that point in my
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  life, you know as a 18 year old that I felt free to do whatever
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  I wanted and I was kind of moving back and forth between my
• 3:59
  my mom's house and my dad's house.
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  They they got divorced when I was like 15 and they just kind
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  of kept kicking me out because of.
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  You know, whatever was going on with me.
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  And so I would get kicked out of my mom's, go stay at my dad's,
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  get kicked out of my dad's, go stay at my mom's.
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  And then I got a car. So I just figured I'll just stay
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  in my my car. And so that way I don't have to
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  worry about being kicked out. And that was short lived for
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  only a couple months until I got pregnant and I decided I should
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  probably, you know, stay. My parents place, but yeah, most
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  nights I was staying in the car, especially because Marlon also
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  was living at home with his parents and that he had to like
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  share a room with his younger brother.
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  So you know, it was just uncomfortable, there wasn't a
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  lot of space for him. So he just preferred to stay in
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  the car with me. Can't exactly feel like a grown
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  up sleeping with your little brother or sister in the room.
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  Right, Exactly. OK, so you did decide that once
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  you two got pregnant, you were gonna kind of move back in with
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  your your family. Who are you staying with this
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  time? Mainly with my dad.
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  OK, so the night of or the night before at the assault, you're at
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  your dad's house? Right.
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  So actually before we got to my dad's house, we we were staying
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  in the car. So what had happened was a
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  friend of ours, actually somebody that we were looking
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  at, you know, even moving in with.
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  He had his family and they were. They, you know, they had his
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  wife and kids had taken the car and they were in the mountains
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  and he was staying in this hotel because we're all about to, you
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  know try to find a place together.
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  And he needed almond milk for his cereal.
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  So we go to to bring him some and this person was somebody
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  that supplied us with, you know with drugs basically with mainly
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  acid and. And yeah, and so we go to visit
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  him. And I always joke about this
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  because that night when we were eating cereal with him, Marlon
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  poured the milk into the bowl before the cereal.
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  And like, that should have been my red flag, because who does
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  that? Yeah, I've heard people say like
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  that's that's serial killer behavior.
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  Exactly. I should have seen it as a red
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  flag, but so that that friend of ours before we left.
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  He gave Marlon drugs. He gave him acid, which Marlon
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  asked for it. He said, you know, asked if he
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  had any. And he said, yeah, put out your
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  hands. And he had, I don't know if you
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  know, those, like breath mints, the, like, liquid breath mint
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  droppers. Yeah.
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  So the the acid was in there and he, you know, put it into his
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  hand and Marlon licked his hand and.
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  Yeah, and. And so we don't really have any
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  way of knowing exactly how many bits of acid, right?
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  Because I usually have heard of it as tabs, the little tiny
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  squares that I guess they put the liquid on.
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  But I've never heard of you taking the liquid directly.
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  Right, exactly. And so, yeah, so you know, it's
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  measured out when you're putting it onto the paper.
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  So you kind of have an idea of how much it is you're taking,
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  but not with this. So that's something I've kind of
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  just always thought about was, you know, how much really was in
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  that that little vial, that little mint dropper.
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  And from what I understand, acid runs through your system so
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  quickly. If they don't, I mean if they
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  wouldn't have given him a drug test like the night of the
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  assault, there's no guarantee they would have even known.
• 7:26
  Right. Yeah, you can't, really.
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  You can't test for it like in your urine.
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  I think you have to do it in blood.
• 7:33
  Yeah, it has to. And it has to be like, within
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  like 24 or 48 hours. It's pretty fast, right?
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  So, huh, Well, I guess that adds another layer to this of well,
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  we'll talk about your feelings about the whole idea of, you
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  know, oh, well, he was high, cuz I don't think that really cuts
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  it in the long run, but. Right.
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  I agree. Yeah.
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  So after that we I drove him back to his parents house and I
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  wanted to go home. I wanted to go to my dad's house
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  and get sleep because I was pregnant.
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  It was late at night. I was exhausted.
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  Yeah. And so he, you know, I I drop
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  him off and or we pull up to his parents house and a lot of times
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  when we slept in the car it was usually right outside his
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  parents house and so he yeah. So I drop him off there and he's
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  like, oh you're he's like you're just dropping me off.
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  He's like you're not gonna stay the night with me.
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  He's like I don't want a trip by myself.
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  And so I was like, OK, well, yeah, I guess I understand not
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  wanting to like. Trip by yourself.
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  I was like, but I'm really tired.
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  So I just laid the seat back in the car and we were just laying
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  there listening to music and and and other audios.
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  And I, you know, drifted off into sleep.
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  And at one point I woke up and I was so thirsty and I knew that
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  we didn't have any water in the car.
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  I knew that, you know, all the gas stations nearby were closed.
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  And he I was asking him like if he was starting to feel.
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  You know, like he was tripping. But you do build the tolerance
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  to acid. See, I didn't know that.
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  I've always heard people talk about it as, you know, the one
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  drug you can't get addicted to because.
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  Right, not entirely true. Right.
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  Well, and it's, it's true and it's not true because you can
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  become addicted to anything, you know.
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  I'm sure you've seen the shows like My Strange Addiction.
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  Those are. Habitual addictions.
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  And so it's a little bit different than like a chemical
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  addiction where you know, your your body physically craves a
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  certain chemical, right. So yeah, So I think that he was
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  addicted to the the habit of taking acid.
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  But it also, yeah, you you do build a tolerance to it.
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  Like if you take, you know, acid twice within a week, the second
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  time you're probably not going to feel it.
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  Yeah, especially if you take the same dosage.
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  That's what one of my friends told me.
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  You can't even. She couldn't even do it
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  back-to-back. Like if she would did it
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  Wednesday, she would need to wait until at least Saturday.
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  Yes, exactly. Because you just build a
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  tolerance to it so quickly and you would have to just really up
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  your dosage and so. You know, Marlin was somebody
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  that was taking acid pretty regularly.
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  And so I, you know, he had started to build a tolerance to
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  it. And so that's kind of what I
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  thought was happening. I thought, you know, because he
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  said he wasn't really feeling much, he wasn't really starting
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  to trip yet. And I was like, OK, well, yeah,
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  maybe you just, you took it too soon since the last time.
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  You know, you've probably just built your tolerance.
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  And I was so thirsty and I just wanted to get water.
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  But. So this is something kind of
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  strange that people who didn't know him may not understand, but
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  Marlin was very, very against drinking tap water.
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  He was very particular about the water that he drank.
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  It had to be purified. It had to be a certain pH level.
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  And because I was pregnant with his child, he felt that he
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  wanted me to only drink. You know, the same like
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  purified, you know, water that had.
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  You know, this pH balance or was alkaline or OK things of that
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  nature. So it's something very
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  particular that like other people may not understand as
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  this being a weird thing for him.
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  But I thought it was very strange that when I suggested,
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  hey, let's just go to the Denny's down the street that we
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  would frequent a lot, you know, they're open 24 hours.
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  This is around 4:00 in the morning.
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  I was like, let's just go to the Denny's and get water there,
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  which Denny's obviously serves tap water.
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  And he was like, yeah, that sounds like a great idea.
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  And I I made like a mental note at the time thinking this is
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  weird of him to be like, this is a good idea instead of trying to
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  drive all over Denver trying to find a gas station that's open
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  to get bottled water. I and I I made that note in my
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  head of the reason he's allowing this is because maybe it's
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  because he's high. And so that was like the first
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  weird clue to me. So we we go to the Denny's and
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  again, he's having weird behavior.
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  He drinks 2 glasses of tap water himself, which again doesn't
• 11:53
  sound weird to other people, but for him it was very strange and
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  he ended up actually coming into the women's bathroom.
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  With me, I went to go use the bathroom.
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  And when I come out to wash my hands, he's in the bathroom.
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  And he's like, hey, you know, telling me something.
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  And I was like, hey, like, what are you doing in here?
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  This is the woman's bathroom. And he's like, oh, it doesn't
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  really matter if I'm in here. And I I kind of agreed with him
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  because, again, it's four or five in the morning.
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  There's nobody in there. And I was like, I guess you're
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  right. I guess it doesn't really matter
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  which bathroom you go into. But again, it's just something
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  that he normally probably wouldn't have done.
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  And so this is when we go back, you know, I'm thinking.
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  I really want some rest. I want to go to my my dad's
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  house and go lay in my own bed. But Marlon was not allowed in my
• 12:36
  dad's house. My dad did not like him and so I
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  was waiting basically until, you know, I knew that my dad would
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  have left for work before I brought Marlon there.
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  And so we just go and we lay in the car some more in front of
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  his parents house and I've drift back off into sleep and I wake
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  up to him grabbing my my thigh. And his hand is freezing hold
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  because he had been running around outside and he's
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  breathing heavy. Oh, OK, so this is our first
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  look into the fact that he's probably getting up there right
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  now. Right.
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  And so he starts asking me. He scares me when he when he
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  when he grabbed me like that. And he starts telling me we need
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  to hide. And he's out of breath.
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  I can tell. He's been running around.
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  He's cold. You know, he, he'd been running
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  around outside doing, I don't know what.
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  And he's like, we need to hide. And I'm like, what do you mean,
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  what do we need to hide from? And he was like, well, I don't
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  know, But you're God, right? And yeah.
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  So I was like, no, no, I'm I'm not God.
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  And I I'm like, I'm a person just like you remember.
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  And I'm trying to get him to, like, remember things.
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  Right. And I open up the the sunroof in
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  the car and I I, you know, tell him like, look around, look out
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  the windows. There's nothing there.
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  We don't need to hide from anything.
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  It's OK anyway, because at this point you're kind of a seasoned
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  person. I don't know what you call it,
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  not a trip guy, but you've been here with him when he's been
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  high, so you know it. Right, exactly.
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  And so yeah, so and I I just thought because.
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  And because I before I got pregnant, I would often trip
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  with him. And so you know, I, we just kind
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  of had this, you know, philosophy that if things are
• 14:27
  not right in your body, if you're tired, if you're hungry,
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  whatever it may be, if you're not in a good mood and you take
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  acid, it's just gonna make you feel those feelings more
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  intensely. So I just figured he must be
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  very exhausted, He must be tired.
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  And that's why he's having this weird reaction to the acid and
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  so. I told him for other people
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  listening, it's also a really long high from what I
• 14:51
  understand, like potentially like 8 or more hours.
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  So if you're having a bad time, that sounds awful to me.
• 15:01
  Oh yeah, yeah, you. And it can.
• 15:03
  Depending on how much you take, it can last, you know, days
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  even, especially if you're very sensitive to substances.
• 15:10
  OK, yeah, that doesn't sound like a good time to me.
• 15:12
  We're having a bad trip and it lasts forever.
• 15:15
  Right. Yeah.
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  And you just you you don't know when it's gonna end.
• 15:19
  OK, so he's talking to you about you being an otherworldly being.
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  Right. So he I just figured he needed
• 15:27
  to sleep. So I I tell him, OK, let's let's
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  go to my dad's. We'll we'll go to sleep and
• 15:31
  you'll feel better. And so on the drive to my dad's
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  house, he was acting very strange and like singing very
• 15:40
  off key very loudly. Just uncharacteristically to a
• 15:46
  song in the radio and just acting very strange.
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  And I'm like, I was laughing at him, but I was also starting to
• 15:53
  get a little bit concerned. And so we get to my dad's house
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  and I take him up to my room and I get him undressed.
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  I get myself undressed. So we're just in our underwear.
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  And I put him in the bed, and he keeps asking me questions like,
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  Are you God? How many times have we done this
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  before? Is it water?
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  And that's what he kept asking me.
• 16:15
  Is it water? Is it water?
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  And I'm not really listening to him because I'm exhausted.
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  He is honestly just bothering me.
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  He's annoying me. I just want to go to sleep and
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  I'm, you know, trying to tell him nicely, like, hey, like,
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  let's not talk anymore, let's just go to sleep.
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  But he just keeps asking me questions, you know, thinking
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  out loud basically, and asking me over and over.
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  Is it water? And then this is really where
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  the attack begins because, and this isn't something that I've
• 16:45
  shared in too much detail and I don't have a problem sharing it,
• 16:49
  but he asked me is it anal? And I was like, what do you
• 16:55
  mean? And I kind of laughed it off and
• 16:57
  I was like, is he just playing a prank on me?
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  Like is he trying to just get me to do anal with him and this is
• 17:06
  like his weird way of trying to? Make that happen.
• 17:11
  And I I asked him that and he was very confused And so I was
• 17:15
  like, OK, so this is like not like a weird prank, but that's
• 17:20
  when he gets on top of me and he's like, OK, I know what I
• 17:25
  have to do. I have to fuck you.
• 17:28
  And I was like, no, no, no, I am not in the mood for this right
• 17:32
  now. And that's when he just, you
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  know, even though I'm telling him no, he proceeds to.
• 17:39
  Basically, sexually, sexually assault me.
• 17:41
  And then I was able to kick him off and I went into my dad's
• 17:48
  bedroom, into his bathroom and I locked the door.
• 17:52
  And this is when he comes up and he's banging on the door,
• 17:58
  jiggling the handle, trying to get in.
• 18:00
  And I'm yelling at him like, dude, I'm not in the mood.
• 18:02
  Just leave me alone and I hear him walk away.
• 18:07
  But then I hear all of this sound downstairs and I'm like,
• 18:14
  cuz my dog is home and I'm like a little bit concerned like
• 18:18
  okay, I don't know what's going on.
• 18:20
  Like I should go check out and see what he's doing.
• 18:23
  So I go downstairs and I can't find him and he's he's in the
• 18:26
  garage in my dad's tools. And he had grabbed a hammer out
• 18:31
  of my dad's tools. So I try and break into the
• 18:34
  bathroom. I think that's exactly what his
• 18:36
  intention was, was he was going to use the hammer to try to
• 18:39
  break down the door, take the handle off or whatever.
• 18:43
  And so I immediately I see that and I get scared and I kind of
• 18:48
  wrestle with him a little bit and I kind of just grabbed the
• 18:50
  hammer out of his hands and I. I told him, dude, you're
• 18:56
  starting to scare me. You know, I'm going to, like,
• 18:58
  mess you up if you, if you don't stop.
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  And so he then kind of just runs upstairs.
• 19:05
  I go put the hammer away and close the garage door.
• 19:09
  And I remember walking by my dog and and telling her I might need
• 19:13
  you. And I walk upstairs and Marlon
• 19:18
  is now in my bathroom and he's splashing in the sink.
• 19:23
  Remember, he had been asking, is it water, not water, right.
• 19:27
  So he's splashing in the sink. And I opened the door.
• 19:30
  The door is like slightly open. And I opened the door all the
• 19:32
  way. And I step into the bathroom and
• 19:34
  I say, hey Merlin, like, what is going on?
• 19:35
  And that's when he punches me in the face.
• 19:38
  Oh, crap, OK. Yeah, So he punches me and I
• 19:42
  fall back. And this is where my
• 19:45
  recollection becomes a little bit foggy because I I remember,
• 19:51
  You know what? What happened after this?
• 19:53
  In like a chronological sense. But there is a piece missing.
• 19:58
  A piece that I remember, but I don't remember when it happened.
• 20:01
  But when I after I had gotten to the hospital after all of this,
• 20:05
  this is all I remembered was this one flash of him hitting
• 20:09
  me. I hit him back, he hits me back
• 20:11
  harder and I decided not to hit him back anymore because he's
• 20:15
  hitting me back harder. So I don't remember when that
• 20:19
  happened, but when I got to the hospital, that was all I
• 20:21
  remembered. And then once I woke up from
• 20:23
  surgery, the rest of the memories had come back to me.
• 20:26
  Except for I don't remember that when that little bit when that
• 20:29
  flash happened. Sometime between coming back
• 20:32
  upstairs and the final attack, there was a moment where you did
• 20:36
  try and fight him back, right? Yes.
• 20:39
  I just, I don't remember exactly at what point that was.
• 20:41
  But what I do remember is going into the guest room, which is
• 20:46
  right next door to the bathroom. So after he he had hit me and I
• 20:49
  fell back, I I immediately thought okay, I need help, but I
• 20:53
  don't want to call the cops on him because I don't want him to
• 20:56
  get in trouble. And so I went to the guest room,
• 20:59
  which didn't have a lock on the door and I was just kind of
• 21:02
  leaned up against the door and I thought, okay, I'm gonna, I'm
• 21:05
  gonna call some friends to come and and help me just leave, you
• 21:08
  know. And I was trying to think of
• 21:11
  because I, we had a group of friends, a group of mutual
• 21:14
  friends that we spent a lot of time with and majority of them
• 21:18
  were boys. And I was trying to think who of
• 21:22
  my friends has a car because like one of my best friends, he,
• 21:26
  his car was broken down. And so I was just trying to
• 21:28
  think of like, who has a car. And I I remembered a friend of
• 21:30
  mine and I was like, OK, he has a car.
• 21:33
  I'm gonna call him. I called him.
• 21:35
  He doesn't answer. So I sent him a message and I
• 21:37
  just say, hey, I'm at my dad's house.
• 21:39
  Marlon is beating me. Please come help me.
• 21:41
  And before I'm able to get a message back or anything like
• 21:45
  that, Marlon bursts through the guest room door because again,
• 21:50
  it doesn't have a lock and I was just leaned up against it.
• 21:52
  Yeah, so he's able to push through.
• 21:54
  I'm sure you weren't a very heavy person, no.
• 21:58
  Yeah. No.
• 21:58
  I was 18, so I was, I was very small and only three months
• 22:02
  pregnant at the time even. I had even lost weight in my
• 22:05
  first trimester of pregnancy because of my morning sickness.
• 22:08
  So yeah, so I was very small, like I'm like 5-1 and I think at
• 22:14
  that time I was probably like less than £110.00.
• 22:16
  So I was very small and I. Just pulled you over exactly.
• 22:21
  So he gets in the room and he basically picks me up and throws
• 22:25
  me down onto the bed and he tells me pain isn't even real.
• 22:32
  And he bites my lip, my bottom lip.
• 22:35
  He bites it so hard he's and he's just continuing to bite it
• 22:40
  hard, just clamp down. And this is when I start
• 22:43
  screaming because I'm hoping that he'll stop or I'm hoping my
• 22:46
  dog will will come up or I'm hoping my neighbors will hear me
• 22:50
  and I'm looking around to see if the windows are open, hoping my
• 22:52
  neighbors will hear me. And he's just biting me.
• 22:55
  And then he stops biting me and he begins to sexually assault me
• 23:00
  again. And and I believe he was also
• 23:03
  just, like, hitting me and beating me as well.
• 23:07
  And this is when. So this is, you know, in the
• 23:09
  morning time, you know, And my phone alarm starts going off
• 23:12
  because I had an alarm set for like every day.
• 23:14
  I want to say it like 8:00 in the morning.
• 23:17
  And so my phone alarm is going off and it's freaking him out.
• 23:21
  He's like, what is that? What is that?
• 23:24
  Make it stop. And I'm my phone's in the
• 23:26
  corner. And so I I tell him, oh, it's
• 23:29
  just my phone. Let me get it.
• 23:30
  If you let me up, I can get it. I can turn it off.
• 23:32
  So he he gets up off me and I grab the phone and I turn off
• 23:35
  the alarm. And that's when he asks me
• 23:37
  again. Is it water?
• 23:38
  And I say, yes, it's water. It is.
• 23:41
  And I'm gonna go get you some water.
• 23:43
  So you stay here and I'll go get you some water.
• 23:47
  And I rundown the stairs. But he's following behind me.
• 23:51
  And I I see my dog and she's standing there kind of looking
• 23:54
  at me, concerned. And I I sick my dog on Marlon.
• 23:58
  Oh, This is why I called Trixie your hero.
• 24:01
  Yes. Yes, she she really is.
• 24:04
  So yeah, my dog Trixie. I tell her Trixie get him,
• 24:06
  Trixie get him and she starts jumping on him and I open.
• 24:10
  I open the garage door. I go into the garage, I open the
• 24:14
  the car door for the garage and I start to get in my car when I
• 24:18
  realize I don't have the keys because it was a push to start.
• 24:22
  So a lot of times I would just leave my keys in the car cuz it
• 24:25
  wouldn't lock so I wouldn't be locked out of the car, but I
• 24:28
  would just leave them in there because I had the the clothes
• 24:30
  garage. But I realized the keys aren't
• 24:31
  in there they're in my jacket and I have to go back inside and
• 24:33
  get my jacket. So as I go back in to get my
• 24:37
  jacket with the the keys in the pocket and again at this point
• 24:40
  I'm I'm only in my my bra and my panties and I I grab my jacket I
• 24:45
  start to put it on and my dog is jumping on Marlon but he goes Oh
• 24:50
  yeah, I like dogs. Like, he was remembering that he
• 24:53
  likes dogs and he starts like petting her and kind of playing
• 24:57
  with her and you know, she, she knows Marlon, right?
• 25:01
  You know, so she she's like just like, OK, like it's just Marlon,
• 25:05
  it's OK, you know? And so I start to go back to get
• 25:11
  into the car. But he's right behind me now,
• 25:13
  and he, you know, opens up the passenger side door to get into
• 25:17
  the car. And I'm like, no, no, no.
• 25:20
  Like, you stay here, remember? I'm gonna go get you some water,
• 25:23
  do you remember? And I'm trying to get him to
• 25:26
  stay. And he actually begins, he
• 25:30
  starts peeing into my car. Oh.
• 25:33
  Geez, into the passenger side door.
• 25:36
  He's peeing into it and he's just laughing and he, like,
• 25:40
  starts running around the car trying to pee on me.
• 25:44
  So I, like, run away from the car and I start running into the
• 25:48
  driveway and I'm just yelling like, what the fuck is going on
• 25:51
  with you? Like I was, I was like, so
• 25:54
  shocked by this. So question here, in the space
• 25:58
  of all this, do you feel like you were scared at all?
• 26:00
  Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I was just, I was scared
• 26:03
  and I just wanted to get away from him.
• 26:05
  And I just didn't really know what to do because again, I'm
• 26:08
  still at a point of, like, not wanting him to get in trouble,
• 26:12
  which was stupid, you know? And so I I just really didn't
• 26:16
  know what to do. So I I run into the the driveway
• 26:19
  and I see my neighbor, she's she's like sitting in her car in
• 26:24
  the Culdesac. So my dad lived in a Culdesac
• 26:26
  and she's like sitting kind of on the other side of it.
• 26:29
  And I waved to her and then she sees me and she's like, what's
• 26:34
  going on? And I don't really want to like
• 26:37
  yell like help or anything like that because I I don't want to
• 26:41
  alarm Marlon. Like I'm at a point of like not
• 26:43
  really knowing how to handle this situation.
• 26:46
  So I'm like I don't want to like you know, be like help help and
• 26:48
  and alarm him, you know, and set him off more.
• 26:51
  So I just kind of like mouths to her like help.
• 26:54
  And she she goes, she like mouths to me that she's gonna
• 26:58
  call 911 and she gets in the car and she starts calling 911.
• 27:02
  And I don't think that she saw this happen.
• 27:03
  But what happened was he picked me up and he brought me back.
• 27:06
  Into the house, yeah. Yeah, it's such an interesting
• 27:10
  thing in hindsight. I I remember as a kid, I don't
• 27:14
  know if you learned this when you were younger, but I remember
• 27:17
  being told you never want to make an attacker angry.
• 27:21
  And I always wonder, in hindsight, is that good advice
• 27:24
  to give somebody in the middle of going through something like
• 27:27
  this, right? Yes.
• 27:29
  My mom always taught me, you know, somebody tries to to take
• 27:32
  you or anything like that. She's like, you kick, you
• 27:34
  scream, you bite, you yell. Right.
• 27:37
  So you don't do any go along with it, right.
• 27:40
  Exactly. And so you know, it probably
• 27:42
  would have been better for me to take that advice at the time.
• 27:44
  But and after he pulled me back in, you know, I was, I was
• 27:49
  kicking and I was, you know, screaming and trying to get him
• 27:52
  off of me. But again, I was a small person
• 27:55
  and so I couldn't really get away from him.
• 27:57
  And so we get back. He pulls me back into the house
• 28:01
  and he tells me, oh, I know what I need to do.
• 28:05
  I need to kill you. Oh geez.
• 28:08
  And so he starts. He has me like, on the ground,
• 28:11
  like I'm laying on the ground, face up, and he's standing,
• 28:15
  kneeling over me, choking. So he starts strangling me and I
• 28:20
  start, like, trying to fight him back.
• 28:22
  I'm like hitting him in the nuts, but I can't quite reach.
• 28:26
  So I'm like trying to hit him and but then again I remembered,
• 28:28
  you know, when I was hitting him earlier, it was making him mad.
• 28:30
  So I'm like I'm, you know, just fighting him off to try to get
• 28:33
  him off me. But I'm also not trying to make
• 28:35
  the situation any worse. Right.
• 28:37
  And so I also, I just kind of, you know, let it happen.
• 28:40
  And I just, you know, I I just passed out.
• 28:44
  I I lost consciousness. And I think a lot of people
• 28:49
  don't realize, like when when you're being choked out and when
• 28:51
  you lose consciousness, that's, you know, that's not death, you
• 28:56
  know, that's just you've lost oxygen to the point where you've
• 28:58
  lost consciousness. But in order for somebody to
• 29:02
  really kill you through strangulation, they have to
• 29:05
  continue. They just follow through for it
• 29:08
  and nobody. I just covered a case on TikTok
• 29:11
  where I talked about that it was a grown man who tried to choke a
• 29:15
  little girl and gave up because people don't realize.
• 29:19
  It actually takes a lot of force.
• 29:21
  It does, yes. You choke someone to death, so
• 29:24
  usually they give up and go do something else.
• 29:27
  And that's the same thing that happened here, right?
• 29:30
  Exactly. So this is where I lose, like,
• 29:34
  my memory. I know what happened and I have
• 29:37
  like maybe like flashes here and there of memory but I did.
• 29:42
  I was so I lost consciousness. And then at one point I I do
• 29:45
  remember I regained consciousness and I was crying
• 29:49
  and he was like on top of me and I don't remember exactly like
• 29:54
  what was happening but I would basically ended up happening was
• 29:59
  he had grabbed a large kitchen knife out of like the butcher
• 30:04
  block in my kitchen and began stabbing me.
• 30:08
  So I was conscious and I was fighting him off, and I have
• 30:12
  defensive wounds on my hand from pushing the knife away, but I
• 30:16
  don't have any memory of actually being stabbed.
• 30:19
  Oh, that's good. It is, yeah, because it's pretty
• 30:23
  painful. So at this point, our our hero
• 30:26
  Trixie kind of stepped in? Yes, exactly.
• 30:29
  So because I had left the garage doors open, she had run out and
• 30:35
  sat on my neighbor's porch. This is what our neighbor told
• 30:39
  us afterwards that he sees because he, they had one of
• 30:41
  those front doors that was like, like foggy glass.
• 30:47
  So, like, you could kind of see things outside of the door.
• 30:51
  And she's pawing at the door and barking.
• 30:53
  And he's like, I think that's Trixie.
• 30:55
  And he opens the door and he's like Trixie, like, what are you
• 30:57
  doing here? And she runs to like the end of
• 31:00
  of his driveway and sits there and turns to look to see if he's
• 31:04
  coming. And then she ran back to the
• 31:07
  house and he followed her over there because he saw our garage
• 31:10
  door open and wanted to make sure that, you know, Trixie got
• 31:12
  back into the house OK and everything.
• 31:14
  And when he gets to the door, he opens it and he sees Marlon on
• 31:20
  top of me, stabbing me. Oh God.
• 31:23
  And so this distracted Marlon. Marlon sees him come in and he
• 31:27
  gets up and he begins to run towards my neighbor with the
• 31:30
  knife in hand. And my neighbor shut, like,
• 31:34
  slams the garage door into his face.
• 31:37
  And he begins to, like walk away.
• 31:40
  And then he's like, he realizes, no, I have to, I have to go back
• 31:43
  in. I have to make sure Sadie's OK.
• 31:45
  But what had happened is once Marlon had gotten off me and
• 31:47
  started running towards my neighbor, I had an adrenaline
• 31:50
  rush and I got up and I ran out the back door.
• 31:54
  So I was able to run out of the house and I ran and I again,
• 31:57
  this isn't something I remember, but something my neighbors told
• 31:59
  me. I saw my my neighbor who had
• 32:01
  initially called 911. She sees me run out and she
• 32:04
  tells me go run to our neighbor Judy's house, just like go to
• 32:07
  Judy's house. So Judy's there waiting for me,
• 32:10
  takes me inside, and that's the next thing I remember is laying
• 32:14
  on Judy's couch and just being in so much pain.
• 32:18
  And I don't think I realized what had really happened.
• 32:21
  What? I mean, you wouldn't have a
• 32:23
  frame of reference for something like this, so I got it right.
• 32:26
  So a good majority of my stab wounds were on my back.
• 32:30
  And so I I just remembered, you know, Judy's asking me, like,
• 32:34
  where does it hurt? What's going on?
• 32:36
  And I'm just like, my back hurts.
• 32:38
  And to me, it felt like I had been, like, punched.
• 32:41
  And so people ask sometimes, you know, they want to know like,
• 32:44
  how did it feel when you got stabbed?
• 32:45
  And even though I don't have much memory of the actual act, I
• 32:50
  would say it's not a sharp pain. I mean, and also I was being
• 32:53
  stabbed at the kitchen neck. That was quite dull.
• 32:55
  So it was more of a dull pain, like you're being punched, not
• 33:00
  not the feeling of being stabbed that you would think.
• 33:03
  Okay. And so the next time you wake
• 33:05
  up, because at this point we're looking at blood loss now,
• 33:09
  right. And so you, I mean you were a
• 33:11
  pretty small 18 year old girl at the time.
• 33:14
  So you pass out and you wake up in the hospital, right?
• 33:19
  So actually I yeah, I'm, I'm on Judy's couch.
• 33:22
  And I actually remember telling her I just want to get in the
• 33:25
  bath because I don't think I realized again.
• 33:28
  Like, I I don't really know what's happened.
• 33:30
  I'm just in pain and I want to be in the bath and the warm
• 33:32
  water to soothe me. And she's like, I don't know if
• 33:35
  that's a good idea, but she takes me to the bath and I run
• 33:37
  the water and I'm like, I just want to be in the bath, which is
• 33:39
  terrible if you, if you have a open bleeding wound, do not get
• 33:42
  into water because you were going to lose more blood that
• 33:45
  way. And I didn't.
• 33:47
  I didn't know that. I again, I don't think I even
• 33:49
  realized what had happened. And I I'm in the bath and Judy's
• 33:53
  on the phone with 911 because my neighbors had called 911
• 33:56
  already. But they were trying to.
• 33:59
  I don't know. I don't know what exactly
• 34:00
  happened. Where we're waiting for the the
• 34:03
  first call is. Probably, oh, this is domestic
• 34:05
  disturbance. A couple doors down.
• 34:08
  They're like, oh, we'll send somebody out.
• 34:10
  The second call is this guy. I saw this guy stabbing this
• 34:13
  girl. Now here's a question.
• 34:15
  You're in Judy's house. Where is Marlon?
• 34:17
  So that's a great question. So Marlon is still in my dad's
• 34:20
  house. And what happened was when my
• 34:23
  neighbor went back in to make sure I was OK, Marlin again was
• 34:27
  trying to attack him. And my neighbor is he's like a
• 34:30
  very large man, you know, he's like 6-4.
• 34:33
  And Marlin was, you know, Marlins only 5-10 hundred and 30
• 34:37
  pounds like a smaller guy. And so my neighbor was able to
• 34:41
  basically pin him against the wall.
• 34:44
  He banged Marlins hand up against the wall until he
• 34:47
  dropped the knife. And then my other neighbor who
• 34:50
  was a retired Marine, actually, you know, came because everyone
• 34:55
  in the neighborhood is like something is going on over at
• 34:57
  that house. And so my my other neighbor who
• 35:00
  like I had babysat his kids and stuff like we we had a, you
• 35:04
  know, pretty tight knit community in that neighborhood.
• 35:06
  But they they came in to see what was going on.
• 35:09
  And so my my two neighbors both held Marlon down, waiting for
• 35:13
  the police to get there. Wow, that's just good that you
• 35:15
  had them. Yeah, absolutely.
• 35:18
  He probably would have chased you to the next neighbor's house
• 35:21
  and tried to attack both of you. Right.
• 35:23
  And so, yeah. So I'm so grateful for them.
• 35:26
  Like, have they not come in like that?
• 35:28
  You know, because the the only reason I'm alive today has
• 35:32
  nothing to do with Marlon. It has nothing to do with him
• 35:36
  showing me mercy, you know, has nothing to do with him, you
• 35:39
  know, deciding in the moment. Wait, What I'm doing is wrong.
• 35:41
  And I need to get her help. He he never would have stopped,
• 35:44
  you know? So it's no thanks to him that
• 35:46
  I'm alive. It's all thanks to my dog,
• 35:49
  Trixie and my neighbors. Their names are Tim and John and
• 35:52
  they came and rescued me, yeah. Big ups to Tim and John because
• 35:56
  sounds awful. Yeah.
• 35:58
  And. And I know that it definitely
• 36:00
  deeply affected them. You know for.
• 36:03
  Yeah. Well I just thought Tim the
• 36:04
  other day my dad still lives in that house and Tim still lives
• 36:07
  right next door and he got to see my.
• 36:10
  I brought my son over and so yeah.
• 36:12
  He got to see him and yeah. So we still, we still see each
• 36:16
  other every now and then when I go, you know, visit my dad.
• 36:19
  But yeah, definitely deeply affected them because I couldn't
• 36:22
  even imagine, like I don't even have, you know, memory of what
• 36:25
  happened. But for them, they do.
• 36:27
  Oh, yeah, that's it's intense and a little bit scary.
• 36:31
  Yeah, absolutely. And So what ended up happening
• 36:34
  was, yeah, I get to the hospital, they, I mean, a lot of
• 36:39
  pain. They gave me medicine and the
• 36:40
  ambulance, but I I get to the hospital and they need to put me
• 36:45
  in for an MRI. So I have, like, a vague memory
• 36:48
  of being in the MRI machine. And then they tell me that they
• 36:52
  need to go in and do surgery because my lung is collapsed.
• 36:57
  Wow. So yeah, he stabbed me twice in
• 36:59
  my abdomen on the front, and one of those stabs hit my lung,
• 37:04
  punctured it, and it collapsed. And so they needed to do that.
• 37:07
  And then they also saw like, like air in like, my abdomen.
• 37:12
  And they needed to make sure that, you know, nothing else
• 37:14
  was, you know, at risk. And so they had to do what they
• 37:18
  call explorative surgery where they just kind of open you up
• 37:21
  and they just go in to just take a look and make sure everything
• 37:24
  was OK. So they did.
• 37:25
  They'd put me under for surgery and I remember being so excited
• 37:28
  that they were going to put me under anesthesia because I was
• 37:30
  so excited to not be in pain anymore.
• 37:32
  Yeah, But I mean, you're still pregnant now, So there's also
• 37:35
  worry there, right? Which I I did make sure to tell
• 37:38
  everyone that I was pregnant and my parents knew by this point as
• 37:42
  well. And so I was just, yeah.
• 37:44
  But I was so excited. I was like, I I can't wait to be
• 37:46
  put under for surgery so I don't have to be in this pain anymore.
• 37:49
  And so, yeah, so in total, he stabbed me.
• 37:53
  About 13 * 17 if you count the defensive wounds on my hand.
• 38:00
  My mom counts them. I don't count them.
• 38:02
  Those are defensive wounds to me.
• 38:04
  But yeah, you. Still got stabbed in the hand,
• 38:07
  right? Yeah, yeah, that's true.
• 38:09
  But, but yeah, so. You said you have limited
• 38:12
  function in that hand now. Yes I do.
• 38:15
  So he cut the tendons and nerves in my two of my fingers, my
• 38:19
  middle finger and my ring finger on my right hand, which is my
• 38:22
  dominant hand. And it was that was the like
• 38:26
  longest standing injury that I received from that, which is
• 38:30
  lucky you know that that's the only thing because.
• 38:33
  Now you're, what, 25? So yes.
• 38:36
  Yeah. And so, yeah.
• 38:38
  So like, even, you know, my lung being punctured has, like, not
• 38:41
  affected my life. You know, they put a tube in my
• 38:44
  lung. I was in the hospital for three
• 38:45
  days to monitor my lung and make sure that it reinflated properly
• 38:48
  and everything was fine. And yeah, and so I healed well.
• 38:51
  But other than that, yeah, my hands I had to get.
• 38:55
  So what they did was they stitched up my my wounds on my
• 38:58
  hand. But they didn't fix anything
• 38:59
  because your hand is very elaborate.
• 39:02
  And so they have to have specialists who specialize in
• 39:05
  hand surgery go in. So I had to schedule my surgery
• 39:09
  for, I want to say maybe two weeks or something.
• 39:13
  Oh, geez. After that.
• 39:14
  So I had to go into a specialist and get my hand fixed.
• 39:18
  They had to go. So now the scars that I have on
• 39:20
  my hands, on my fingers are not even from the stab wounds, the
• 39:23
  scars that I have from the surgery, because they had to go
• 39:26
  in and find my tendons and nerves that had been severed
• 39:29
  because they roll, you know, when you cut them, they roll.
• 39:31
  So they had to go find them and then reattach them.
• 39:34
  And I did regain feeling in my fingers.
• 39:36
  So I do have feeling it's maybe a little bit more fuzzy compared
• 39:39
  to my other fingers, but for the most part I have feeling.
• 39:41
  But I and I have, you know, motion, but I don't have
• 39:45
  strength, so I'm not able to bend my fingers all the way
• 39:48
  down. It does cause me some pain when
• 39:50
  doing certain things, like doing dishes, you know, and using a
• 39:54
  sponge to to do dishes. It causes me some pain.
• 39:57
  But other than that, like that is my only real, like
• 40:00
  longstanding injury from that. So the other stab wounds that I
• 40:03
  sustained were three in my leg, two in my arm, one in my neck,
• 40:10
  and then. The rest were and then the two
• 40:13
  that were on the front of my abdomen, the one that punctured
• 40:15
  my lung, and then the rest are on my back.
• 40:18
  OK, yeah, I saw on TikTok the you have a tattoo of a knife
• 40:23
  right near the one stab wound on your leg.
• 40:26
  Yeah. My best friend is a tattoo
• 40:28
  artist and she drew some knives and posted them up on on
• 40:32
  Facebook. Like, does anybody want to get,
• 40:33
  you know, a nice tattoo? I just want to practice.
• 40:35
  And I was like, yeah, do you want to do it on my my stab
• 40:38
  wounds? And she told me, oh, you won't
• 40:42
  do it. And I was like, bet I will do
• 40:43
  it. And so I showed up and she did
• 40:46
  the the tongue and cheeks. Yeah, it's it's I kind of have
• 40:49
  an affinity for a knives now and I always compare it to the way
• 40:53
  Christians carry a cross for Jesus.
• 40:57
  It's like, well, you know, I didn't, I didn't die.
• 40:59
  But you know I have another knife tattoo on my face.
• 41:04
  I You know my I. Can't notice that one.
• 41:07
  I'm gonna have to go look at your picture again.
• 41:09
  Yeah, it's like, right, It's on the side.
• 41:10
  It's like on my sideburn. So it's it's very like hidden.
• 41:13
  OK. All right.
• 41:14
  So OK, we have surgery, you're you're in hospital for a couple
• 41:19
  days. Where's Marlon and all of this?
• 41:22
  So they brought Marlon to the same hospital because he had
• 41:26
  stabbed himself in the leg. Yeah.
• 41:29
  He begun stabbing himself and he stabbed himself in the leg.
• 41:31
  And so they needed to take him. And they also needed to take him
• 41:34
  for like blood testing for drugs.
• 41:38
  And so he they took it in. And my sister was at my mom's
• 41:44
  house. So this is part of like, just
• 41:46
  to, you know, side note, part of the miracle that allowed me to
• 41:50
  be alive today is that my dog was at my dad's house even
• 41:53
  though my sister was at my mom's house.
• 41:55
  And my sister always wherever she was, that's where the dog
• 41:59
  was. But for whatever.
• 42:01
  Reason the one time, the one time that she leaves the dog at
• 42:04
  my dad's house. You needed her.
• 42:06
  I needed her to be there. And so, you know, that's just
• 42:09
  part of that, like, miracle of everything coming together to,
• 42:12
  you know, allow me to survive this moment.
• 42:14
  And so my sister is at my my mom's house and my mom's husband
• 42:18
  wakes her up and it's like, hey, I need to drive you to the
• 42:20
  hospital. Sadie got hurt.
• 42:22
  And, you know, he takes her and meet, you know, she meets my mom
• 42:26
  there. So my mom and my sister are
• 42:27
  walking through the hospital back to my room and they hear
• 42:33
  something that they all they my sister says she almost thought
• 42:36
  it was like a machine because of the way that like high pitched
• 42:40
  way it sounded, but it was actually Marlon screaming.
• 42:45
  Oh my goodness. So he was screaming so high
• 42:47
  pitched, so loud that yeah, like my sister, they were like, what
• 42:51
  is that? And then they realized it was
• 42:53
  him. So he's just screaming at the
• 42:55
  top of his lungs. And yeah, so they, they had to,
• 42:59
  you know, stitch him up, do blood work.
• 43:01
  And then they took him to the police, arrested him and took
• 43:04
  him to the hospital. Or took him to the jail, not the
• 43:07
  hospital. I gotcha.
• 43:09
  OK. And you talked to them about the
• 43:11
  night? Yeah.
• 43:12
  So the detective actually questioned me in the emergency
• 43:16
  room. Just asking me, you know.
• 43:18
  So actually, when I was being loaded into the ambulance, my
• 43:22
  dad, my, my neighbors had called my dad and he had rushed home
• 43:25
  from work. And that's the first time my dad
• 43:27
  saw me was I'm being loaded into the ambulance.
• 43:29
  And my dad asks me, he's like, Sadie, who did this to you?
• 43:32
  And I told him, it's Marlon, It's Marlon.
• 43:34
  And my dad actually tried to get into the ambulance, that Marlon
• 43:38
  was being loaded into the paramedics, the paramedics and
• 43:42
  the cops had to hold him back. That's right.
• 43:45
  Yeah. So my, you know, my dad was
• 43:47
  about to take matters into. Understand.
• 43:49
  I understand Dad in the moment, absolutely.
• 43:52
  And so. He's like, I never liked this
• 43:54
  guy anyway. And This is why, right?
• 43:57
  He's like, I knew the whole time this guy was bad news.
• 44:00
  And so, yeah, he was about to take matters into his own hands,
• 44:03
  but he was, he was stopped. And and so, you know, in the
• 44:07
  emergency room, I told the detective like, it was Marlon.
• 44:10
  Marlon did it. And he had taken like a picture
• 44:14
  from Marlon's, his ID, and showed it to me, you know, they
• 44:20
  scanned it, whatever. He showed it to me.
• 44:22
  And he said, is this Marlin? And I said, yeah, that's him.
• 44:24
  And and then I told him that story of we got into a fight in
• 44:28
  the hallway. I hit him or he hit me.
• 44:30
  I hit him back. He hit me back harder.
• 44:32
  So I stopped hitting him. And that's what I told the
• 44:35
  detective at the time because I'd forgotten what had happened.
• 44:37
  And that's the only memory I had.
• 44:39
  And now looking back, I don't have that memory anymore.
• 44:42
  And so, yeah, so they didn't really know what had happened.
• 44:45
  And until I I came to and I started, you know, kind of
• 44:49
  telling my family and my neighbors, who all rescued me,
• 44:52
  and they all came to see me in the hospital and they were
• 44:54
  telling me their sides of, like, what was going on.
• 44:57
  And I told them, you know what? I, because I woke up and I
• 45:00
  remembered everything. And so my family was like,
• 45:03
  that's not what you told the detective.
• 45:05
  And I was like, what did I tell the the detective I remember.
• 45:09
  What I was thinking of at that time, right.
• 45:11
  And so, and so then I did end up having a meeting with like the
• 45:16
  district attorneys because in the state of Colorado with
• 45:18
  domestic violence cases, the state always takes over because
• 45:22
  what happened too often is, you know, men would beat their
• 45:27
  wives. The wives would not report it,
• 45:29
  they would not press charges. Even if it did get reported or
• 45:32
  the cops got called, they wouldn't press charges.
• 45:34
  And then those men would end up killing their wives.
• 45:36
  And so now in the state of Colorado, any domestic violence
• 45:39
  case, the state takes over and presses charges.
• 45:42
  So I wasn't even the one to press charges against him.
• 45:44
  It was the district attorneys. Right and so.
• 45:47
  The things that I got into arguments with people about last
• 45:50
  year in regards to the situation with, you know, Mega Stallion
• 45:53
  getting shot by her then boyfriend that I was like, she's
• 45:57
  not the one taking him to court. Y'all this is the state.
• 46:01
  Yeah, out of her control at this point.
• 46:03
  It's not her fault. I mean, also, to be fair, she's
• 46:05
  the one who got shot. Why are we mad at her?
• 46:10
  Well, and it happens often. And I had a lot of people giving
• 46:13
  me grief after this happened. And so after this happened in
• 46:19
  the hospital, I remember they have separate workers who
• 46:23
  they're not, you know, necessarily like nurses or
• 46:26
  doctors, but they what their job in the hospital is to just wheel
• 46:29
  patients from room to room. OK.
• 46:32
  And I remember the, the guy who was Wheeling me, you know, was
• 46:36
  like, oh, no, like, what happened?
• 46:38
  Ask it because I looked terrible.
• 46:40
  Yeah, I saw one of. Those pictures you posted on
• 46:43
  TikTok, Yeah, my face was completely swollen, my lips were
• 46:47
  completely swollen. I had black eyes and you know,
• 46:51
  my blood vessel had burst in one of my eyes and and then
• 46:56
  obviously I had stitches and staples all over me.
• 46:58
  My hands were bandaged, bandaged up because again, they didn't
• 47:01
  want to go in and do anything yet until I was able to see a
• 47:04
  hand specialist. So they just bandaged me up so I
• 47:06
  wouldn't move my fingers too much.
• 47:08
  So I looked terrible and I remember the guy asking me, you
• 47:11
  know, what happened? I was like, oh, my boyfriend
• 47:13
  tried to kill me. And he goes, oh, I hope he's
• 47:16
  your ex-boyfriend now. And I go, yeah, he's he's going
• 47:18
  to be my ex-boyfriend now. But.
• 47:21
  And so in in the hospital for the three days I was there, I
• 47:24
  was like, that's my ex now, until I got out of the hospital
• 47:27
  and I started thinking, I don't want to have this baby alone.
• 47:30
  I'm a teenager. It wasn't his fault.
• 47:33
  I start making excuses for him. It wasn't his fault.
• 47:36
  He was on drugs. It was an accident, you know.
• 47:38
  And so after that, I decided that I was going to stay with
• 47:41
  him and try to make it work, you know, And there's so much
• 47:44
  pressure, I think too, because because I was a teen parent and
• 47:46
  I wanted to prove society wrong. I'm not a statistic, you know,
• 47:50
  I'm not going to be a single mother just because I'm a teen
• 47:52
  parent. You know, I'm going to make this
• 47:54
  work and we're going to have a happy life and we're going to
• 47:56
  get married and, you know, and so I just kind of had this
• 47:59
  pressure that I felt to like, make the, especially because he
• 48:02
  was somebody who was not well liked by people in our age
• 48:07
  group. He had, you know, he had a lot
• 48:10
  of people who liked him and then a lot of people who didn't like
• 48:13
  him. And I wanted to prove the people
• 48:15
  who didn't like him wrong. You know, I made a good choice
• 48:18
  in dating him. I made a good choice of deciding
• 48:20
  to have a baby with him. So I just wanted to prove those
• 48:23
  decisions that I made, right. So I decided I was going to stay
• 48:25
  with him. And so that caused a lot of
• 48:27
  backlash for me where people were telling me, Sadie, you're
• 48:30
  being too positive about this, Sadie, you are, you know, you're
• 48:34
  delusional. I haven't had random people off
• 48:36
  of Facebook which I never found out who this was.
• 48:38
  But one profile in particular with what was probably a fake
• 48:42
  picture and a fake name telling me that this was all my fault,
• 48:46
  that Marlin was in jail. If you know if if I, you know,
• 48:50
  loved him, I wouldn't be pressing charges and that's when
• 48:52
  I tried to explain it's not me pressing charges.
• 48:54
  It's the it's the state. And and even when, as far as to
• 48:58
  calling me names such as a cum dumpster, yeah, so like things
• 49:03
  like that. To the point where I had to
• 49:05
  deactivate my social media for probably a couple months because
• 49:09
  I couldn't stand to look at it. Wow.
• 49:12
  Yeah, that's. And you gotta wonder who is that
• 49:14
  person who hears my friend nearly killed a woman and goes.
• 49:20
  Obviously he did nothing wrong and there's still people that
• 49:24
  feel that way. You know, all these years later,
• 49:27
  he still has supporters who think that he's done.
• 49:32
  You know, it was an accident, He was on drugs.
• 49:34
  He's done nothing wrong. Yeah, but you know what though?
• 49:37
  I'm not really a person who does a whole lot in regards to, like,
• 49:40
  drugs or things of that nature. I I grew up with attorney
• 49:44
  parents and I was a singer growing up.
• 49:46
  So in my head I was like, we're not gonna do anything to destroy
• 49:48
  my voice. And also nothing that's gonna
• 49:50
  make my mom or dad upset with me.
• 49:53
  Sure. I hung out with people who did
• 49:55
  things and I have been around people.
• 49:57
  On acid. And I can I have never in my
• 50:01
  life seen anyone even get violent on that drug, let alone
• 50:06
  go as far as Marlon went. So I don't know what was going
• 50:11
  on in his head that day. But that's not, that's not the
• 50:13
  norm. And and I agree.
• 50:16
  And at the time, you know, like I said I was, I was making those
• 50:19
  same excuses for him and he had me very much under his thumb.
• 50:25
  You know, it was in that relationship.
• 50:27
  It was what Marlon wants we do, you know, like I just felt very
• 50:32
  and you know what I I felt low self esteem at the time and I
• 50:36
  felt like he was better than me. And I think that's where it came
• 50:39
  from. Now this.
• 50:41
  This didn't seem like it was an abusive relationship before that
• 50:45
  night. Not physically, ever, no.
• 50:47
  OK. But you do feel like there were,
• 50:49
  there were some things that he was doing that?
• 50:52
  Were abusive in terms of emotional abuse before them,
• 50:55
  yes. So not really too much like
• 50:58
  verbal abuse. Like he never really yelled at
• 51:00
  me. He did call me names, but it was
• 51:04
  a lot of like emotional abuse, emotional manipulation.
• 51:08
  He was very skilled at it. He was very skilled.
• 51:10
  He even he had a lot of people fooled and still does.
• 51:15
  But he, you know, he was very skilled.
• 51:17
  I always, you know, referred to him as the masterful manipulator
• 51:21
  and he just really, you know, had me, like I said, under his
• 51:24
  thumb. And it was.
• 51:27
  It was impressive, honestly, the way that he was able to just
• 51:29
  kind of control me. So this is now in the hands of
• 51:32
  the court and they are going to prosecute.
• 51:35
  It goes to court. And he said Marlon got 13 years,
• 51:40
  but it was weird. He didn't exactly get charged
• 51:44
  with what he did, right? So the way these cases work is
• 51:49
  they offer a plea deal which basically says if you just, you
• 51:53
  know, you know, plead guilty, we're going to give you this
• 51:57
  sentence instead of, you know, risking going to trial getting
• 52:01
  found guilty, right. Exactly.
• 52:03
  And he actually had two attempted murder charges, one
• 52:05
  for me and one for my neighbor that he tried to attack as well.
• 52:08
  So the charges that he were arrested on were two attempted
• 52:11
  murder charges, menacing a deadly weapon, three different
• 52:15
  assault charges, one for strangulation and attempted
• 52:20
  sexual assault, 2 attempted sexual assault charges,
• 52:24
  obstruction of telephone service.
• 52:26
  Because when I had called my friends for help, he had thrown
• 52:29
  my phone to the floor and the last one was kidnapping because
• 52:34
  after I tried to leave the house, he pulled me back in and
• 52:36
  that's kidnapping. And so those were the charges he
• 52:39
  was originally arrested on, which would have, you know, had
• 52:42
  he been found guilty of those charges, he would have gotten a
• 52:45
  sentence of he was looking at probably 30 years.
• 52:50
  But they offered him a plea deal.
• 52:52
  He originally, he wanted to go to trial.
• 52:55
  He wanted to to be found not guilty.
• 52:57
  He wanted to get off. You know, he he wanted to go to
• 52:59
  trial and just explain, hey, I was on drugs.
• 53:02
  It was an accident. And we even got like he, I went
• 53:06
  and found people that were in our friend groups and mentors of
• 53:09
  our teachers and things like that and asked them to write
• 53:12
  character references for him. Yeah, so it was, it was bad and
• 53:17
  and like looking back it, it makes me worried about the
• 53:21
  things that I did to try to get him out of that situation, you
• 53:23
  know, begging with the district attorneys, you know, things like
• 53:26
  that. Like I really did not want him
• 53:28
  to go to jail. I wanted him to be a father to
• 53:30
  my my child and I. Think I mean, people who work in
• 53:36
  this field specifically with domestic violence, they also
• 53:38
  understand that. It's it's weird.
• 53:43
  I I, in hindsight, I look back in my own situation and go I was
• 53:46
  in a relationship for a total of eight years.
• 53:48
  Half of that time I was positively miserable.
• 53:52
  Why did I never just stop? Right, Right.
• 53:57
  And the analogy that I've heard used is if you put a frog into
• 54:03
  boiling hot water, they jump right out.
• 54:05
  Right, if you put a frog into cold water and turn.
• 54:09
  The temperature up, Yes, they stay because they don't notice
• 54:12
  that they're being boiled alive. That's.
• 54:15
  Probably a perfectly accurate explanation and you get back at
• 54:18
  yourself. And you?
• 54:19
  You're like what? I I was an idiot.
• 54:22
  Why did I do this right? Yeah, exactly.
• 54:26
  Yeah. I look back and I I well and I
• 54:27
  and I have empathy for my past self and I understand like what
• 54:30
  she was going through, you know, being a team parent, not wanting
• 54:34
  to parent by herself and and things like that.
• 54:36
  But it doesn't concern me for the future going forward because
• 54:40
  the plea deal that he ended up taking was it was a broad range
• 54:45
  of of of years that he would be sentenced.
• 54:48
  And basically they just had to take it to court to have the
• 54:51
  judge say how many years out of this range that both the public
• 54:55
  defender and district attorneys agreed to.
• 54:58
  So the range was, oh gosh, I don't even remember.
• 55:14
  My goodness, yes, before this actually happened.
• 55:02
  It was like you told me it was three years to like 26 years or
• 55:05
  something like that. And so I was hoping that he was
• 55:09
  only gonna get because by the time this actually happened, he
• 55:11
  had been in jail for nearly two years.
• 55:17
  Because you know people will see it in the movies.
• 55:19
  Right. You know, and they see like
• 55:21
  victims on trial in the movies and they're still all bruised.
• 55:24
  But you know what happens that way?
• 55:26
  I think I'm going to blame it on law and order SVU because every
• 55:30
  single episode the trial gets handled and what you don't
• 55:34
  realize is that in between every time they go to court, it's
• 55:37
  months and months. I remember talking to the the
• 55:41
  people at 2020 about the Gabby Petito trial.
• 55:44
  And they were like, they didn't use this in the documentary, but
• 55:47
  I was just like, I think it's it's wonderful that so many
• 55:50
  people online care, but they are going to be hurt when they
• 55:54
  realize that this is not going to end the way they want, right?
• 55:57
  It's not like the movies, and it didn't.
• 55:59
  It didn't. In that case, that guy killed
• 56:02
  himself so he could avoid, right?
• 56:04
  Which is? Consequences of his actions.
• 56:06
  Yeah, yeah. What absolute coward.
• 56:09
  So yeah, so I was like, but I was like this isn't going to end
• 56:11
  the way people want. They think it's going to be a
• 56:13
  oh, we we found him. We found her.
• 56:16
  Everything's going to go to trial.
• 56:17
  We'll all get justice and unfortunately all too often no
• 56:22
  justice happens or or it's it's limited justice.
• 56:26
  But you said he's eligible for parole next year.
• 56:29
  Yes. So he was sentenced to 13 years
• 56:31
  total. He's eligible for parole next
• 56:34
  year because those two years were time served.
• 56:37
  The two years that he was waiting for his sentence, his
• 56:39
  time served. Right.
• 56:40
  And so, yeah, So next year in 2024, he's eligible for parole.
• 56:44
  And I, I 100% plan on attending all of his parole hearings.
• 56:51
  And just because he's eligible doesn't mean he's going to get
• 56:53
  in front of a parole board right away.
• 56:54
  It could be months before he gets in front of a parole board.
• 56:58
  But it doesn't matter when you show up, right?
• 57:00
  And so I'm going to show up and I'm going to to tell them he
• 57:03
  actually have filed for a pardon.
• 57:07
  I believe it was. Really.
• 57:10
  Yeah. From.
• 57:11
  And I got an e-mail from the victim services telling me and
• 57:14
  they asked me if I wanted to write a statement for this case
• 57:17
  and I wrote a long statement explaining what had happened and
• 57:21
  he was denied. Good.
• 57:23
  Yeah, A minimum. He needs to stay in for his
• 57:25
  minimum amount of time. I wish it was actually longer
• 57:27
  because, I mean, it's not like he's going to if he's going, oh,
• 57:31
  I was just drunk. Or I was, oh, I was just high.
• 57:34
  Are you committed to never using drugs for the rest of your life,
• 57:37
  dude? Probably not.
• 57:39
  So you're going to just be high the next time you do something
• 57:42
  and hurt somebody. And and I just don't think that
• 57:45
  intentions matter because I think across the board, we all
• 57:50
  have good intentions. We all think we're doing the
• 57:52
  right thing. And I don't think that that
• 57:55
  matters. I think what matters is how you
• 57:57
  affect people, the outcome of your actions, your impact.
• 58:01
  Exactly. And so like I always compare it
• 58:03
  to Thanos from the Marvel Universe.
• 58:06
  Thanos thinks he's doing the right thing.
• 58:07
  He thinks that he's helping by wiping out half of all life
• 58:10
  because it's going to be more resources for the ones left.
• 58:13
  He really thinks he's doing the right thing.
• 58:15
  Everyone thinks they're doing the right thing.
• 58:17
  Right. And so I mean my thing is when
• 58:19
  you say that because you I asked you during our preinterview what
• 58:24
  his side of the story was and you said he doesn't seem to have
• 58:27
  any idea like. He keeps telling people in
• 58:32
  prison different stories about what happened exactly.
• 58:36
  Right, So he doesn't know what happened.
• 58:38
  And I feel like in order for you to not be a danger to people,
• 58:42
  you need to know what happened, Sir, right.
• 58:45
  And and after he, you know, while we're going through this
• 58:48
  trial process because again he wanted to take it to trial and
• 58:51
  he ended up being convinced to take the plea deal because there
• 58:55
  was number way he was going to win that case.
• 58:56
  Yeah, no attorney sat him down and and finally made it through
• 59:01
  to him, right. Exactly.
• 59:02
  And so he did get a psych evaluation during that process,
• 59:08
  and he was officially diagnosed Bipolar disorder and
• 59:12
  narcissistic personality disorder.
• 59:15
  That's interesting. That's what's expecting that
• 59:17
  one, right. And so and I actually always
• 59:20
  like suspected, you know, growing up with him like that he
• 59:23
  might have bipolar because he did display some of those
• 59:26
  symptoms. And looking back at it now, not
• 59:28
  having those actual diagnosis, I'm like it fits.
• 59:33
  It makes exact sense. Like, I can see moments where he
• 59:36
  was manic and he was one of those bipolars that was mostly
• 59:39
  manic, went through very quick depressive episodes and then
• 59:42
  would be manic again. And and I think that, you know,
• 59:46
  in combination with those things and the narcissism was just
• 59:49
  always obvious. He was, he was always an obvious
• 59:52
  narcissist. And that's why he, he had those,
• 59:54
  you know, very skillful manipulation skills, you know?
• 59:57
  And also why a lot of people didn't like him, right?
• 1:00:00
  Yeah, so a lot of people didn't like him when they saw through
• 1:00:02
  him. And then a lot of people did
• 1:00:03
  like him because he had this very charismatic persona that he
• 1:00:06
  put on to. Trick people and they care
• 1:00:08
  about. And that's why somebody in that
• 1:00:10
  case would take it to trial, because they care more about the
• 1:00:13
  fact that people would see them. Because in order to get a plea
• 1:00:16
  deal, you have to admit guilt. Right.
• 1:00:18
  And. And you don't want to admit that
• 1:00:21
  to the world. That you physically assaulted
• 1:00:25
  your girlfriend? That doesn't look good on
• 1:00:27
  anybody's record. Right.
• 1:00:29
  And he actually, he has a Facebook page.
• 1:00:33
  So I'm not sure how it's being run.
• 1:00:35
  It could be possible that he's calling somebody and asking them
• 1:00:38
  to post on his behalf. It could be possible that he has
• 1:00:41
  contraband. It could be possible that even
• 1:00:42
  the prison he's in is allowing them Internet access, because
• 1:00:45
  some prisons do. But I see this page.
• 1:00:48
  I think when you have like a like a sex crime that involves
• 1:00:51
  the Internet, they ban the Internet from you.
• 1:00:54
  But this is a terrible random story.
• 1:00:56
  But years ago, I met a guy like a couple weeks before he went to
• 1:01:00
  prison. And he wanted me to, I don't
• 1:01:03
  know, be loyal to him. And I'm like, dude, I don't even
• 1:01:06
  know you. But years later, he hit me up on
• 1:01:09
  Facebook too, while he was in prison.
• 1:01:11
  And I was just, yes. What are you expecting, bud?
• 1:01:13
  I'm dating somebody. He's like, you didn't wait for
• 1:01:16
  me. And I'm like, I only knew you
• 1:01:17
  for two weeks. What are you talking about?
• 1:01:20
  But yeah, some of them do have access, I guess based on good
• 1:01:23
  behavior, things of that nature. And and yeah, I've even seen
• 1:01:27
  like people in jail cells going live on Facebook or going on.
• 1:01:32
  Things like that. Like I've seen, you know,
• 1:01:33
  prisoners on TikTok and things like that.
• 1:01:35
  So he has a Facebook page and even on this page, you know, he
• 1:01:39
  has supporters galore, a bunch of people who support him.
• 1:01:43
  He posts all of these very delusional.
• 1:01:45
  He really thinks of himself as a God.
• 1:01:48
  He thinks of himself as a prophet.
• 1:01:50
  Like he is that type of narcissist.
• 1:01:52
  He's very spiritual and he just really thinks of himself as the
• 1:01:57
  end all be all. He thinks he's a prophet.
• 1:01:59
  And he has supporters, and he has made a post about the
• 1:02:04
  situation. And again, it's all defending
• 1:02:07
  his actions. What?
• 1:02:09
  Yes, just all defending it, saying it was, you know, he
• 1:02:12
  didn't need to do it. He was on drugs and it was for
• 1:02:15
  whatever reason, you know, I feel like when he goes up for
• 1:02:21
  parole, you need to have screenshots of that because that
• 1:02:25
  is not somebody who is contrite and ready to, you know, be back
• 1:02:29
  into society. You're at.
• 1:02:31
  You're saying you did nothing wrong.
• 1:02:33
  Are you kidding me? Dude, you almost died.
• 1:02:37
  Yeah, absolutely. No remorse.
• 1:02:38
  And I think and and I do wonder about that.
• 1:02:41
  Had I died? Had I not made it through, which
• 1:02:45
  again, was nothing to do with him?
• 1:02:46
  It was not. Because of him that I'm alive.
• 1:02:49
  It was because of my neighbors stopping him.
• 1:02:51
  If he was able to continue on, I would be dead today.
• 1:02:53
  And so I just, I do wonder, like in that moment, would that have
• 1:02:58
  changed anything or would he still justify it probably?
• 1:03:02
  I think he would. I mean, to avoid going to prison
• 1:03:05
  you have to essentially you can't show any remorse in court,
• 1:03:09
  like because I'll be like, Oh well, that means you did it.
• 1:03:11
  You can't like even in situations where somebody shot
• 1:03:15
  someone out of self-defense, they really can't show any
• 1:03:18
  remorse for the action or it looks bad to the jewelry.
• 1:03:23
  So you have to maintain this position of I was right and it
• 1:03:28
  just seems so callous to me personally that you could look,
• 1:03:33
  you know, your victim in the face and and be like, yeah, I
• 1:03:37
  stabbed you and and collapsed your lung and did all these
• 1:03:40
  horrible things to you and So what?
• 1:03:43
  Right now here's my question and I was I thought about this after
• 1:03:46
  we had our pre interview. What happens with his aspect of
• 1:03:52
  being a parent when he gets out of prison?
• 1:03:55
  Do you have to allow him access? So because so I was three months
• 1:04:01
  pregnant when this happened, so he was in jail when the baby was
• 1:04:05
  born and so. I don't know if this is just a
• 1:04:09
  Colorado thing, but again, if you, if the father is not
• 1:04:12
  present to sign for the birth certificate, they will not go on
• 1:04:15
  the birth certificate. Right.
• 1:04:17
  And so I am the only parent on his birth certificate.
• 1:04:20
  I am. I did foolishly as you know, a
• 1:04:23
  teen who wanted to still make things work with him.
• 1:04:25
  I did give my child his last name, Marlon's last name.
• 1:04:29
  That can be changed. And so, yeah, that's that's what
• 1:04:32
  we're in the process of right now is changing my child's name
• 1:04:34
  legally. Filing I I do.
• 1:04:37
  In the state of Colorado. You have legal custody.
• 1:04:39
  The mother has full legal custody of her child unless you
• 1:04:44
  know, you know, proven, you know an unfit parent or things of
• 1:04:48
  that nature. But but my son is, you know,
• 1:04:51
  mine legally. And after my partner and I get
• 1:04:55
  married, he'll be probably adopting my son just to make
• 1:04:58
  sure that if if something does happen where Marlin does try.
• 1:05:02
  That's what I'm worried about. Because a lot of these times,
• 1:05:05
  people who are abusers will try little ways to to stay in your
• 1:05:10
  life. Right.
• 1:05:11
  And that is my fear. That is my fear with him getting
• 1:05:13
  out is, is the fact that we do have this child that he might
• 1:05:19
  want access to, that he might want to take from me, that he
• 1:05:22
  might want to hurt either me or my son.
• 1:05:25
  And so that's our biggest thing is, is protecting my son.
• 1:05:28
  And so again, that's why my partner will be adopting him,
• 1:05:31
  because. If something were to happen to
• 1:05:33
  me, you know, I'd hate for the baby, you know, Marlon to come.
• 1:05:36
  Yeah, right. Which he wouldn't.
• 1:05:38
  But I I just want to make sure everything is in place to make
• 1:05:41
  sure that even if Marlon does try to get custody, if he does
• 1:05:44
  try to get visitation, that no judge would look at, you know,
• 1:05:48
  this this case and say, yeah, you can have visitation.
• 1:05:52
  So we're just making sure, putting everything in place to
• 1:05:54
  make sure that that doesn't happen.
• 1:05:56
  I wish I could say that I have not seen that happen, but I
• 1:05:58
  have. I've seen actual rapists request
• 1:06:02
  visitation from the children that weren't born out of an
• 1:06:06
  assault and and and someone actually trying to petition the
• 1:06:10
  court because, well, that's still my kid and I want to have.
• 1:06:13
  I'm like, are you kidding me, dude?
• 1:06:16
  Right. It's it's disgusting and and I
• 1:06:19
  think we're going to see a lot more of it with the laws that
• 1:06:22
  are being put in place in this country.
• 1:06:24
  Yep. Unfortunately, I just saw a case
• 1:06:27
  and people. This girl, she was very young.
• 1:06:32
  She didn't want the baby, and she had no option to get rid of
• 1:06:35
  the baby. She hit it and then she tried to
• 1:06:38
  throw it away. And I'm like, well, yeah, when
• 1:06:42
  you don't allow women the ability to control their
• 1:06:46
  reproductive health, this is what's going to happen.
• 1:06:48
  We said to you this is what was going to happen.
• 1:06:51
  Yeah, people will find a way. Absolutely, because it's not as
• 1:06:55
  easy to get your child adopted out as people think.
• 1:06:59
  Oh, yeah, no, it definitely. And and we already have you know
• 1:07:03
  hundreds of thousands of children in the foster right
• 1:07:05
  system being harmed every day. It makes me so upset.
• 1:07:13
  One thing I wanted to talk about was you said we talked about in
• 1:07:17
  the pre interview. But I I want, I want them to
• 1:07:19
  hear about this because like you said, you were on Marlon's side
• 1:07:23
  for about two years after he was in prison.
• 1:07:26
  I want to talk about that time period of when you were using
• 1:07:30
  all of your money to to talk to him and and for hours every day,
• 1:07:37
  like what was going through your mind then?
• 1:07:39
  I guess it's what, 18 to 20 years old?
• 1:07:42
  Yeah, so at his one of his 1st Court hearings, I attended
• 1:07:47
  everyone you know with my family and.
• 1:07:51
  I put a petition to modify our protection order because again,
• 1:07:55
  in these situations, you know, the district attorneys are
• 1:07:58
  pressing charges and there was a a restraining order, a
• 1:08:01
  protection order put in place and I wanted it modified because
• 1:08:04
  I wanted to be able to to visit him in the jail.
• 1:08:06
  And these visits are not in person.
• 1:08:08
  They're all on video call and and if you go to the jail, it's
• 1:08:13
  free. If you want to do it on your
• 1:08:14
  phone at home, it costs money. And then when he got able to use
• 1:08:19
  the phones. As opposed to just the video
• 1:08:22
  visits, it costs $0.12 a minute to talk on the phone and I was
• 1:08:27
  paying for it. I've I've learned that in
• 1:08:29
  contacting people who are in prison now for stories and
• 1:08:33
  things, I think to send an e-mail to the one woman I've
• 1:08:39
  spoken with in the UK, it's like $4.00 every time I send her an
• 1:08:43
  e-mail. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:44
  So and we did the like the e-mail thing as well.
• 1:08:48
  Paid money for that, you know, sent each other letters and
• 1:08:53
  talked on the phone for $0.12 a minute.
• 1:08:55
  And you would think you're spending all this money.
• 1:08:57
  You're trying to help him feel better while he's in prison, and
• 1:09:01
  I'm sorry, it's out of my control.
• 1:09:03
  I would have dropped the charges if I could.
• 1:09:04
  You would think in that situation he would be nice to
• 1:09:09
  you. And you know, he was in the
• 1:09:11
  beginning, and I think that was part of the love bombing.
• 1:09:14
  Manipulation to get me to stay with him because he was
• 1:09:17
  everything I wanted him to be before, you know, I wanted him
• 1:09:21
  to be sweet to me and my love. Language is words of affirmation
• 1:09:24
  and I wanted him to give me those words of affirmation.
• 1:09:26
  He was finally starting to do these things.
• 1:09:28
  Finally starting to tell me all the things I always wanted to
• 1:09:30
  hear from him and then you know two years into our relationship
• 1:09:34
  and and it's it's the breaking me down.
• 1:09:36
  You know, the accusing me of being unfaithful to him, which I
• 1:09:40
  wasn't at any point, even though it would have been, I think
• 1:09:44
  justified. Like I stayed so loyal to him.
• 1:09:47
  I just rode so hard for him, defended him, and he's just on
• 1:09:50
  the phone with me, making me feel small and insecure.
• 1:09:54
  And I just realized, I'm paying money for this.
• 1:09:58
  I'm paying money to money that should go with your son.
• 1:10:02
  Exactly. And I'm I wasn't necessarily
• 1:10:04
  working at the time and maybe had some like side gigs but I
• 1:10:06
  was a stay at home teen parent you know living with my parents
• 1:10:09
  and and thank God for my parents.
• 1:10:11
  You know I I love my mom. I love my dad.
• 1:10:13
  They've they've taken such good care of me and allowed me to
• 1:10:16
  really be at home with my son. But again I'm I'm not working
• 1:10:19
  using whatever money I I can get basically to to you know spend
• 1:10:24
  money on on talking to this man to be belittled.
• 1:10:26
  And that was when I realized I like myself.
• 1:10:30
  And I don't like the way he's making me feel about myself and
• 1:10:33
  I'm not gonna pay for this anymore.
• 1:10:34
  And so that was when I finally started to slowly kind of come
• 1:10:39
  out of that hold he had on me and decide that it was time for
• 1:10:43
  me to to leave him Now, when you stopped doing the phone calls,
• 1:10:46
  did he reach out? Yes.
• 1:10:48
  So he still would call me and even after I officially broke up
• 1:10:53
  with him. Even now and then he would call
• 1:10:55
  me and I still, it took a while for me to finally cut contact
• 1:10:59
  because he started to pay because he was working in the
• 1:11:02
  jail, like they have jobs. And so he, you know, they it's,
• 1:11:07
  I mean it's basically, you know, legal slavery, which is a whole
• 1:11:11
  other conversation. But he was making, you know, a
• 1:11:13
  certain amount of money to wash dishes in the jail.
• 1:11:16
  And his mom would put money on his books and things like that.
• 1:11:18
  And so he started actually using his own money off his books to
• 1:11:22
  pay for the calls. So I started answering them.
• 1:11:24
  You answered. Yeah, So I would talk to him and
• 1:11:27
  I would, you know, and this, you know, he was somebody that was
• 1:11:29
  like my best friend. Like before anything, even when
• 1:11:32
  we were to introduce each other, we would never say, this is my
• 1:11:35
  boyfriend, this is my girlfriend, you know, I say this
• 1:11:37
  is my best friend. And so it was hard for me to
• 1:11:40
  like, you know, even after an extra betrayal.
• 1:11:44
  It absolutely like, it wasn't just, you know, a partner.
• 1:11:47
  It was. It was my best friend, you know,
• 1:11:50
  for years. So even after you decided, you
• 1:11:52
  know, I like myself, I want to do better, you still kind of
• 1:11:55
  talk to him for a little while. Yeah, I did for a little bit.
• 1:11:58
  And then I actually started getting into a new relationship
• 1:12:02
  with somebody else, not my current partner, but just
• 1:12:03
  somebody I saw kind of briefly after that.
• 1:12:06
  And and that's a whole other story in itself.
• 1:12:09
  But I I just was like, I think I'm done talking to him.
• 1:12:13
  I was going to ask you, do you feel like I can only speak from
• 1:12:16
  my own experience? It took me a while, I think to
• 1:12:19
  get from the abusive aspect of of my relationship to like a
• 1:12:26
  positive, good relationship like the one I'm in now is a very
• 1:12:29
  good one. But I I had two other people I
• 1:12:32
  dated after my abuser and I was trying to figure out how are
• 1:12:38
  people supposed to treat you? I don't know, is this right?
• 1:12:44
  My head was completely skewed for so long.
• 1:12:47
  Did you go through that too? Well, I made very poor decisions
• 1:12:52
  and partners after that. So the first person that I like
• 1:12:56
  really was very casually seeing after this was some.
• 1:13:01
  It was like he was somebody that kind of helped me.
• 1:13:04
  Like, really make the final decision to break up with Marlon
• 1:13:07
  because I kind of wanted to pursue this other person, but
• 1:13:10
  this person ended up being just as narcissistic.
• 1:13:13
  Oh no, just as abusive. Not to me.
• 1:13:16
  He ended up dating a friend of mine and was very abusive to
• 1:13:19
  her. So I just made very poor
• 1:13:21
  decisions. And then the guy that I dated
• 1:13:23
  for, you know, a little bit more seriously, for a few months
• 1:13:25
  after that, another narcissist who?
• 1:13:29
  Just didn't really have a lot of empathy for me.
• 1:13:31
  And even in the days when I when I broke up with that person, he
• 1:13:34
  compared the feeling of me breaking up with him to what
• 1:13:39
  Marlon had done to me. He told me.
• 1:13:41
  He told me, Sadie, remember when Marlon stabbed you?
• 1:13:45
  Do you remember the feeling you felt?
• 1:13:46
  That's how you're making me feel, no?
• 1:13:49
  And I was like that is not the same actually that's.
• 1:13:54
  Yeah. So I'm in fact anybody would say
• 1:13:55
  that. Wow, wow.
• 1:13:57
  And. It was actually so my best
• 1:14:00
  friend in the world, Her name is Maddie.
• 1:14:02
  Shout out to Maddie. her and I sat down shortly after I'd
• 1:14:06
  broken up with Marlon when I was still kind of, you know,
• 1:14:08
  casually seeing that other person and I I made a list.
• 1:14:11
  I made a list of everything I wanted in a partner, and I put,
• 1:14:14
  I kept it in my phone and I just kind of, you know, didn't really
• 1:14:18
  think about it too much. Didn't look at it all the time.
• 1:14:19
  But by the time I broke up with that other person, who compared?
• 1:14:24
  Compared our situations after I broke up with him, I was like
• 1:14:27
  I'm going to find my person and they're going to be exactly
• 1:14:30
  everything on this list. They're going to treat me well
• 1:14:32
  they're going to have the same interest as me.
• 1:14:34
  You know all of these things, all of these things on my list
• 1:14:36
  and I was like I I'm going to know it when I see them and or
• 1:14:40
  you know however it was like I'm going to date them and you know
• 1:14:43
  these things are going to happen and they're going to say these
• 1:14:45
  things to me and that's going to be my confirmation that this is
• 1:14:47
  the right. Person my my Cosmic Life
• 1:14:49
  partner. And everything unfolded with my
• 1:14:52
  partner Christopher, exactly how I imagined it.
• 1:14:56
  Oh, that's wonderful. I absolutely lucked into it.
• 1:15:01
  I went into a period of I am not going to, I'm gonna go on dates,
• 1:15:05
  but I am not going to allow anybody to get close to me if it
• 1:15:08
  does not feel right. And for like a solid like 11
• 1:15:11
  months I went on dates. And if it didn't feel right, I
• 1:15:13
  immediately went Nope and just didn't see the person again.
• 1:15:17
  And then last Christmas, or right before Christmas, I went
• 1:15:22
  on a date with my current partner and it was like, huh,
• 1:15:27
  light. There's just like a light of.
• 1:15:29
  Like right, what is this is everything that I've always
• 1:15:32
  wanted someone to talk to me in this way, someone to listen to
• 1:15:36
  me in this way, someone who is very because you do.
• 1:15:40
  I always make all the jokes as like, you know, hot girls with
• 1:15:43
  all of our mental health issues. But absolutely who who
• 1:15:49
  understood that? And it was actually really
• 1:15:51
  interesting. One day he took my roommate to
• 1:15:54
  the grocery store and he asked her she does this thing and it
• 1:15:59
  has to do with my ADHD and how I I talk and how I jump from
• 1:16:02
  subject to subject so fast. And he like he asked her about
• 1:16:06
  it to try and understand me better.
• 1:16:08
  He didn't get mad at me. He he was like, how do I learn
• 1:16:12
  more about this condition She has because she is completely
• 1:16:16
  oblivious. She has some of the ways that
• 1:16:19
  she she talks sometimes. And I was like, that's really
• 1:16:22
  nice because I met so many people who were like, your
• 1:16:25
  mental health's not my problem. I don't care.
• 1:16:28
  That's love and and I think the person that I was with prior to
• 1:16:32
  my partner, like, I think he. He was kind of that way.
• 1:16:36
  He didn't really understand my my traumas.
• 1:16:38
  I mean, I had just gotten out of that relationship with Mara,
• 1:16:41
  right? He didn't really understand, you
• 1:16:44
  know, how how things were for me and didn't really have a lot of
• 1:16:48
  empathy and and wanted me to, I think just be normal and right.
• 1:16:52
  Just be regular, right? And so yeah, why are you crying?
• 1:16:55
  For no reason. Right, right.
• 1:16:57
  Exactly like he would. Oh my gosh, it was.
• 1:17:00
  It was horrible to the point where if I was venting to him
• 1:17:01
  about something, he would be like, why do you want me to do
• 1:17:03
  your personal development for you?
• 1:17:05
  Oh. I'm like, I'm just, he's like
• 1:17:07
  I'm not your therapist. Get my good.
• 1:17:08
  I'm like. I'm a therapist, thank you.
• 1:17:11
  I'm just talking to you because you're my boyfriend, but like, I
• 1:17:14
  still have. I have trauma for my abusive
• 1:17:16
  relationship. It's been for almost five years
• 1:17:19
  now, and slamming doors affect me.
• 1:17:24
  Yes. And they still do.
• 1:17:26
  Like when I hear a very loud smash, something break, drop on
• 1:17:31
  the ground, it's really loud. I jump.
• 1:17:34
  And so the fact that you, like you meet somebody who's kind of
• 1:17:37
  got to be okay with the fact that that's sort of a thing.
• 1:17:41
  And I don't know when that's going to stop because for me, I
• 1:17:47
  I was with somebody who didn't hit me but hit other things and
• 1:17:51
  and that's a sign of I could hurt you if I wanted to.
• 1:17:54
  Right, absolutely. You know, so that's that's it's
• 1:17:57
  scary. And so I still have those little
• 1:17:59
  moments that pop up and and to have somebody just be like just
• 1:18:03
  just come over here and cry for a little bit, that's it's
• 1:18:07
  wonderful. It's it's love and and my
• 1:18:09
  partner is my partner also you know struggles with some some
• 1:18:13
  traumas of his own and so he's very understanding towards me
• 1:18:16
  and you know we we just get each other and that's you know like
• 1:18:20
  the biggest blessing for me is like finding my person because
• 1:18:23
  you wouldn't you wouldn't imagine being able to trust
• 1:18:25
  somebody again after like that. Kind of betrayal, but I'm very
• 1:18:29
  blessed and lucky that and I'm an optim.
• 1:18:31
  I'm an optimist 100% and it's almost to a fault where I just
• 1:18:35
  can't control it. I just can't let anything drag
• 1:18:38
  me down for too long. Even in the hospital after I had
• 1:18:41
  woken up, after everything had happened and I just felt this
• 1:18:45
  feeling of, I don't know why this happened, but it's it was
• 1:18:49
  for a reason. And one day, because I've always
• 1:18:52
  wanted to be a public speaker, one day I'm going to tell the
• 1:18:54
  story from stage. And I had that feeling waking up
• 1:18:56
  in the hospital. And so I just am a very
• 1:19:00
  optimistic person. If we have to point out a
• 1:19:03
  reason, maybe the reason was so that your son wouldn't grow up
• 1:19:06
  with Marlon and his life. And I'm so grateful for that and
• 1:19:10
  I look at people who you know have to to Co parent with people
• 1:19:15
  that maybe didn't treat them well and it's it's really hard
• 1:19:18
  and I'm lucky that I don't have to Co parent with him.
• 1:19:20
  He's out of the picture. Maybe.
• 1:19:22
  Maybe you unfortunately went through all this pain, but you
• 1:19:26
  can save your son from going through more pain of having a
• 1:19:30
  narcissistic parent. Because I have a bio dad who is
• 1:19:35
  he's the trip I I in my adulthood.
• 1:19:39
  I finally had to say to him, I don't like talking to you
• 1:19:42
  because every time I talk to you, you make me feel bad.
• 1:19:45
  I was like, if you want to know about my life, text me.
• 1:19:47
  Because I just don't even want to have a conversation with you,
• 1:19:49
  dude. Right?
• 1:19:51
  At every opportunity, he somehow finds a way to just be awful.
• 1:19:57
  And so maybe you know, your son was saved from having a life of
• 1:20:00
  of being raised by somebody like that.
• 1:20:02
  Yeah absolutely And and I'm I'm so grateful and and the way my
• 1:20:05
  life has turned out since that is, it's so good compared to
• 1:20:11
  what it would have been. Right.
• 1:20:12
  What it could have been. I mean, you're you're doing
• 1:20:15
  wonderful things like you said, you started a lifestyle brand
• 1:20:17
  you. I I saw your modeling.
• 1:20:19
  I even saw. I noticed you did like
• 1:20:21
  photography on your page. You said it's just a hobby, but
• 1:20:24
  it looks beautiful. Some of the things that you've
• 1:20:26
  done. Yeah.
• 1:20:27
  Thank you. Yeah.
• 1:20:28
  I've I've been doing modeling for a few years now.
• 1:20:31
  I actually went to like modeling and acting trade school kind of
• 1:20:36
  after I broke up with Marlon. And I'm starting to do that and
• 1:20:39
  and then me and and, you know, my best friend Morgan started
• 1:20:44
  Get Life, which is a lifestyle brand.
• 1:20:46
  And it's it's all about, you know, living life like there's
• 1:20:49
  no tomorrow. And that's the idea behind it.
• 1:20:51
  And I don't think I would have stepped into the leadership role
• 1:20:53
  that it took for me to own this brand if I was still under
• 1:20:56
  Marlon's thumb and allowing him to lead all my decisions.
• 1:20:59
  Right, because it doesn't seem like it at the time.
• 1:21:01
  But they do little things to to sabotage you.
• 1:21:06
  I think about that too, in regards to like TikTok and
• 1:21:08
  whatnot. And I started this.
• 1:21:12
  Being involved with TikTok in 2021.
• 1:21:15
  Started the podcast 2021 and I'm like, I don't know if I would
• 1:21:19
  have done this right. If if that person was still in
• 1:21:23
  my life because at every opportunity he he chipped away
• 1:21:28
  just little bits, little bit at a time and I didn't realize it.
• 1:21:32
  And would I have had the confidence to to get on camera,
• 1:21:35
  to be in a movie, to go on a film set, I don't know.
• 1:21:39
  I don't know if I would have been that person that I I was
• 1:21:41
  in. You know, the late aughts or the
• 1:21:44
  20 teams that I am now? Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:21:48
  Yeah. I feel the the same way.
• 1:21:50
  Like I I don't think I would have had the confidence to go
• 1:21:52
  after my dreams and I wouldn't have, you know, I wouldn't I I
• 1:21:55
  would have let him take the lead, like it's just how we
• 1:21:57
  operated. I would have let him, you know,
• 1:21:59
  kind of do things and and really get life.
• 1:22:02
  A big part of it was inspired by the near death experience I had
• 1:22:06
  because I I did realize how much I wanted to check off my bucket
• 1:22:09
  list and how much I wanted to be a full time parent and I wanted
• 1:22:12
  to help other people do the same thing.
• 1:22:13
  And so that's what we do and it's it's like been the biggest
• 1:22:16
  blessing of my life. So I, even though it was
• 1:22:19
  horrible and traumatic and I still do suffer from the trauma
• 1:22:24
  in certain regards, like I couldn't be more happy that that
• 1:22:27
  happened to me. It's weird, Yeah, Yeah, I I.
• 1:22:32
  Funny enough, this morning before my my partner left for
• 1:22:34
  work, I was just like, I wish we would have met each other when
• 1:22:36
  we were younger, but on the other side, you know I am who I
• 1:22:40
  am now to meet this person who seems perfect for me because of
• 1:22:46
  who I am now. Yes, I ohh I agree so much.
• 1:22:50
  Yeah. So, and I remember something one
• 1:22:52
  of my therapists said to me, it's something that I I still
• 1:22:54
  struggle with sometimes, she said.
• 1:22:58
  Forgive who you had to be to survive Whatever you had to do
• 1:23:01
  to get you where you are right now.
• 1:23:03
  There's no reason to have a regret about any of that.
• 1:23:06
  You did what you had to do to get where you are today.
• 1:23:10
  And you know, I think about like, Dang.
• 1:23:13
  I mean, I let this guy ruin my college experience.
• 1:23:16
  I I would skip school. I failed out of school for that
• 1:23:20
  dude. You know, like, what would I
• 1:23:21
  have been if I hadn't? I hadn't failed out of college
• 1:23:24
  if I hadn't. You know, done all these things,
• 1:23:27
  lived in these places. I don't know.
• 1:23:31
  But I know that who I am right now is somebody that I am proud
• 1:23:33
  of. And it sounds like you are too.
• 1:23:34
  Yeah. And I love that you said that.
• 1:23:36
  That resonates a lot because it is hard for me to look back at
• 1:23:39
  my 18/19/20 year old self who was, you know, in this
• 1:23:44
  relationship with this person. And I almost feel more regret
• 1:23:47
  and guilt, not because of what he did to me, but because I know
• 1:23:49
  he had other allegations against him and I ignored them.
• 1:23:53
  And so I like to all of his other victims, like, I love you
• 1:23:58
  guys and we're, you know, united together.
• 1:24:01
  And I stand by you. But I I think I love that you
• 1:24:03
  said that, like, forgive who you had to be to survive.
• 1:24:05
  I'm gonna keep that in mind for sure.
• 1:24:07
  The day the day this woman said that to me, it it was stuck in
• 1:24:11
  my head all day long and I was just like that was the first
• 1:24:16
  time I was at therapy and I was just racked and it was such a
• 1:24:19
  simple statement. Forgive yourself, Britney.
• 1:24:24
  And I I I really struggled with it for a long time.
• 1:24:27
  Because you you blame yourself. You're like, what if I I why did
• 1:24:31
  I accept this horrible treatment everybody around me, like when
• 1:24:35
  literally when I was like we broke up, my my friends were
• 1:24:38
  like, thank Hallelujah, finally. You know they had never liked
• 1:24:42
  this man for years. But I wasn't willing to listen.
• 1:24:47
  And I just. I wasn't ready.
• 1:24:49
  Yeah. And and that's the thing about
• 1:24:51
  abusive relationships that people need to understand
• 1:24:54
  because I I have a lot of friends cut me off.
• 1:24:56
  And I know it was because it was hard.
• 1:24:58
  It was hard for them to see me in pain, to see me be with
• 1:25:01
  somebody who could do something like this to me.
• 1:25:03
  And for their own well-being in mental health, I'm sure it was
• 1:25:07
  just easier for them to separate.
• 1:25:08
  But the people that stood by me and didn't make comments, you
• 1:25:12
  know, my best friend, Maddie, she never liked that man, but
• 1:25:16
  she never told me anything, you know, she always was by my side,
• 1:25:20
  you know, So those people in your life, it's so important to
• 1:25:23
  have because when you're friends who are in these, you know,
• 1:25:26
  abusive or at least toxic relationships, when they're
• 1:25:30
  ready to leave, they will become ready to leave on their own
• 1:25:33
  accord and what they need is a support system to back them.
• 1:25:36
  Yeah, and that's what I tell people now.
• 1:25:38
  Like when people ask like, what do I do, you know?
• 1:25:42
  My friend's this horrible guy and I'm like, you don't have to
• 1:25:44
  always sit and listen to your friend complain.
• 1:25:47
  I was like, what you tell them is I love you.
• 1:25:50
  I will always be here for you. I do not want to hear about that
• 1:25:54
  man anymore, and that's totally valid.
• 1:25:58
  It can be hard to see a friend be in so much pain, and there's
• 1:26:02
  only so much you can do for somebody who doesn't want to,
• 1:26:05
  you know, make a change. You can't.
• 1:26:06
  You can't save people. You can't push a dead bear up a
• 1:26:09
  tree. I had to.
• 1:26:10
  I had to say it to somebody I knew not that long ago.
• 1:26:13
  I had to say, listen, I cannot sit and watch you get harmed.
• 1:26:17
  And weirdly enough, she showed up on my doorstep.
• 1:26:20
  He had stabbed her. My God.
• 1:26:23
  And I was just like, come on in. Yeah, I used to think my story
• 1:26:27
  was, you know, more unique. But I've met a lot of people
• 1:26:31
  that have been stabbed by partners.
• 1:26:33
  Even my current partner was stabbed by an ex of his not in,
• 1:26:36
  you know, such a brutal way that I was, but her situation was
• 1:26:40
  one. Time and and she walked out the
• 1:26:42
  door and I was like what do we need to do And we we called her
• 1:26:46
  mom and her mom showed up the next morning and when he was at
• 1:26:51
  work pulled all over crap out of the house.
• 1:26:54
  And I mean, that was what she needed to see like experience
• 1:26:57
  though. And like, you know, I I had to
• 1:26:59
  tell somebody else in my life. I was just like, because now I'm
• 1:27:02
  just full of all these statistics that I've learned
• 1:27:05
  about this from my own experience, from things I I've
• 1:27:08
  researched for, for the podcast and for TikTok.
• 1:27:11
  And I I had to tell a close friend I was like, you know, the
• 1:27:14
  likelihood that you're going to die goes up about 80% when he
• 1:27:18
  chokes you. Yeah.
• 1:27:19
  He's like, you just told me that this man choked you.
• 1:27:22
  I I can't leave that from you. The next time, he might kill
• 1:27:25
  you. And I was like, I'm not going to
• 1:27:28
  disavow you, but I'm I'm letting you know that if you stay in
• 1:27:31
  this situation, you're putting yourself and your kids at risk.
• 1:27:36
  And I don't know whether she'll leave that situation or not.
• 1:27:40
  But I'm not going to abandon my friend.
• 1:27:41
  I'm just got to tell you that I don't like that guy and I'm not
• 1:27:45
  all easy. Can't come into my house, right?
• 1:27:47
  I was. Like exactly.
• 1:27:49
  You can come stay here whenever you want, but he can't come.
• 1:27:55
  You can bring your whole. Crew here.
• 1:27:56
  But yeah, it's tough. It's really hard to be on the
• 1:27:58
  outside. That's one of the things that
• 1:28:01
  I've been exploring and talking to people this this year with
• 1:28:04
  with the the new season of the podcast, you you have the base
• 1:28:09
  person who experienced the trauma, but then there's also a
• 1:28:13
  bubble of people around that person who also experienced
• 1:28:17
  trauma. So you have your neighbors who
• 1:28:20
  were there who also got attacked.
• 1:28:21
  You're very close friends. Your parents who saw you in your
• 1:28:25
  hospital, like all of them were affected by that moment, that
• 1:28:29
  I'm sure the moment that both your mom and dad saw you in that
• 1:28:32
  hospital bed is embedded in their brain for the rest of
• 1:28:35
  their lives. You're their baby.
• 1:28:37
  And so that affects them. That's why actually, the
• 1:28:41
  organization that I work for, they provide counseling not just
• 1:28:44
  to the person who's been assaulted, but also to like the
• 1:28:47
  children and other household members who were there too.
• 1:28:50
  Because there's trauma in just witnessing what happened to
• 1:28:53
  somebody and nobody absolutely about that.
• 1:28:56
  You know, and so that outside bubble, those other people also
• 1:28:59
  were greatly affected. It's not just a crime against
• 1:29:01
  one person, right? And and I I think that's part of
• 1:29:04
  the reason why. So those friends that I had
• 1:29:07
  called for help, they did show up, but it was after the the
• 1:29:10
  police and the paramedics had already arrived.
• 1:29:13
  And so they they met me at the hospital.
• 1:29:15
  I've not seen them since that day.
• 1:29:16
  I think it was so hard for them to see me in that hospital bed
• 1:29:19
  looking the way I did that they just could never face me again.
• 1:29:23
  And even my partner, who I met my partner years later, you
• 1:29:27
  know, and him and I have been together for two years now and
• 1:29:31
  it affects him. You know, somebody who wasn't
• 1:29:34
  even there for when it happened, didn't even know who I was.
• 1:29:37
  But every time you know he doesn't watch my tik toks when I
• 1:29:41
  talk about it, you know, and he knows the story and everything,
• 1:29:44
  but it affects him so deeply it makes him so upset to think
• 1:29:47
  about. Well then you also look at the
• 1:29:50
  world, Cuz I don't talk about it a whole lot, but after my mom
• 1:29:53
  passed, I had a real tenuous relationship with wanting to be
• 1:29:57
  alive after that. And there's a lot of feelings
• 1:30:01
  that come from feeling that way. There's almost like a level of
• 1:30:05
  guilt of. Like, there's no way he could
• 1:30:09
  have been there to help you, but because he loves you so much in
• 1:30:13
  his head, he probably wishes he could have like, and he says
• 1:30:16
  that all the time. He's like, I he's like, I know I
• 1:30:18
  didn't know you, but I feel almost guilty for not being
• 1:30:22
  there to protect you, even though he lived in a different
• 1:30:25
  state when it happened. Like, you know, all of this.
• 1:30:28
  And I always tease him because he's more than 10 years older
• 1:30:31
  than me. So I was tease him and say,
• 1:30:32
  well, you know, it would have been really creepy if you knew
• 1:30:35
  me when I was 18. Oh no.
• 1:30:39
  Yeah. It's weird.
• 1:30:40
  It doesn't make sense what what things we we take guilt for or
• 1:30:45
  or or feelings that we have sometimes.
• 1:30:47
  But I think it's sweet and it it's only my my partner's like
• 1:30:51
  you know that hurt that you felt years ago.
• 1:30:53
  I wish I wish I could have been there to help you with it.
• 1:30:57
  Right. But I'm like, you're here now
• 1:30:58
  and that's that's what matters, you know?
• 1:31:01
  That's, yeah, that's that's all I can hope for.
• 1:31:02
  You're here now. When the reverberations of of
• 1:31:05
  some of those situations affect me, I have someone who cares
• 1:31:10
  about the fact that it does affect me.
• 1:31:12
  And that's massive. Absolutely.
• 1:31:16
  But yeah, Sadie, I this was wonderful to talk to you.
• 1:31:20
  I I think you're quite wonderful.
• 1:31:23
  I I love a lot of your posts that have nothing to do with
• 1:31:26
  this on your tech talk like we talked about how I loved your
• 1:31:28
  posts. You were like, please don't call
• 1:31:30
  me strong. And I was like I that would hit
• 1:31:32
  me so hard because my brain said if I never hear that I am strong
• 1:31:38
  another day in my life, that would be enough times that I
• 1:31:41
  have heard it. I don't want to be strong.
• 1:31:43
  I want someone to take care of me and to feel mental and and
• 1:31:47
  and take it. Care of being strong is not a
• 1:31:52
  badge of honor anymore. It just feels like.
• 1:31:54
  You can endure trauma. I don't want to endure trauma
• 1:31:57
  anymore. I love we, Yes.
• 1:32:00
  As a society, we almost commemorate women and put value
• 1:32:03
  on a women. A woman based on how much abuse
• 1:32:06
  she is willing to endure from a man, right?
• 1:32:09
  That is. That is the badge of honor that
• 1:32:11
  we place on women. So I don't like to be called
• 1:32:13
  strong. I'm not strong.
• 1:32:14
  I was a victim of a terrible situation and I just kept
• 1:32:17
  living. Like what doesn't kill you
• 1:32:19
  doesn't make you stronger, it just forces you to keep
• 1:32:21
  surviving. Thank you.
• 1:32:22
  Oh, my goodness. That is exactly.
• 1:32:26
  It's not what what doesn't kill you make you stronger.
• 1:32:28
  It's just Tessa. My roommate is a friend I've had
• 1:32:31
  now for many, many years, and she always tells me she's she's
• 1:32:36
  living out of spite. Yeah, I love it.
• 1:32:38
  Me too. Yep.
• 1:32:39
  And I was like, sometimes that's what you got to do until you can
• 1:32:42
  make it through to the place where you are living happily.
• 1:32:46
  Absolutely. Just push through everything
• 1:32:49
  until you can get to a place where you're like, OK, I think
• 1:32:53
  I'm happy now. Oh, spite is so powerful.
• 1:32:58
  Well, I hope that you have a wonderful life with your partner
• 1:33:01
  and your little boy, and I'll continue to, you know, like your
• 1:33:06
  videos on TikTok. Awesome.
• 1:33:08
  I appreciate you. Thank you for letting me come on
• 1:33:10
  and share my story. I've been wanting to, you know,
• 1:33:13
  be more open about this and hopefully I can, you know, help
• 1:33:15
  other, you know, domestic violence victims and survivors
• 1:33:19
  like overcome the things that they're going through.
• 1:33:21
  Or, you know, if I could help somebody get out of an abusive
• 1:33:24
  relationship because they hear my story, like that's all I
• 1:33:26
  want. And so I just appreciate like
• 1:33:28
  having the platform to be able to speak on this.
• 1:33:32
  So thank you. And before we go, you can let
• 1:33:35
  anybody know your socials so they can find you online.
• 1:33:39
  Yeah, so my my socials are on everything.
• 1:33:42
  I'm on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.
• 1:33:44
  All of it is Sadie Solstice. Or if you want to look me up by
• 1:33:47
  my handle, it's Little Miss Sadie.
• 1:33:49
  But it's LILMISS. S80S80 is my like, short term
• 1:33:56
  for Sadie. So that's where you can find me.
• 1:33:58
  I'm on all the platforms. All right.
• 1:34:01
  Well, thank you so much for talking to me today, Sadie.
• 1:34:03
  And. Thank all of you for listening.
• 1:34:06
  You have a great weekend. Bye.