Latest / Rich Fulcher's TalkBox / Larry Dean: Plane Toilets, Free Masons, Let’s Win an Oscar & Live at the Apollo | Ep. 30

Transcript

Larry Dean: Plane Toilets, Free Masons, Let’s Win an Oscar & Live at the Apollo | Ep. 30 · Rich Fulcher's TalkBox

• 0:00
  Hey everybody, it's Rich Fulcher with Rich Fulcher's Talk Box.
• 0:04
  Today's guest is Larry Dean. He's a stand up.
• 0:08
  He lived in Glasgow for a while and he he can't.
• 0:12
  You'll hear all about it. It's a hilarious story, lots of
• 0:17
  fun. And remember, by the way, if
• 0:21
  you're thinking about ordering merch from Talk Box, there's a
• 0:26
  holiday deadline to get the stuff out.
• 0:29
  So if you're outside of the UK, December 7th.
• 0:33
  And if you're inside the UK, December 16th is the last time
• 0:38
  to get this shit out. All right, so let's get on with
• 0:42
  the show. I don't like to do too long an
• 0:44
  intro. ABC.
• 0:47
  Larry Dean. Oh, hey, Larry, what are you
• 1:15
  doing? Hey, nice to see you.
• 1:17
  Have a seat. Thank you.
• 1:18
  Bye. Join the podcast.
• 1:20
  Thank you, babe. Thank you very much for letting
• 1:23
  me sit down. There you go.
• 1:24
  By Larry, right? I'm mine.
• 1:27
  Have you always been Larry? Like right out of the womb,
• 1:30
  Larry. Yeah, man, that's why that's.
• 1:32
  Why? I said as soon as I left Larry,
• 1:35
  Larry, I know. I love Larry.
• 1:38
  Came out on a chopper. But a lot of times there's an
• 1:41
  evolution to it, like I finally became Larry.
• 1:45
  And well, I was Lawrence, right to start with.
• 1:50
  And then when I was, I think I was like 12 and somebody called
• 1:54
  me Larry. And then I was like, oh, I like
• 1:56
  that. Isn't it cool?
• 1:58
  Yeah, I think Larry is a good name, but I sound like a truck
• 2:00
  driver, like Larry Deanson. Hey, what about Larry Hagman?
• 2:04
  Larry Hagman. You know Jr on Dallas.
• 2:07
  All right, yeah, yeah, it's Do you think I give off that vibe?
• 2:10
  Yeah, You know that guy? No, if you know him very well,
• 2:16
  he's very strange. He's dead now, but he used to
• 2:20
  pick up homeless people and hang out with them.
• 2:23
  Right. Exactly.
• 2:24
  He died. Yeah.
• 2:26
  Yeah, he caught something. Got that, Kenny?
• 2:32
  We've got a lot of homeless viewers, yeah.
• 2:35
  No, no, that's where the money is.
• 2:37
  What's it called? No, but he would have a day out
• 2:39
  of the week too. It's.
• 2:41
  Your patron just cash. Where he wouldn't talk at all,
• 2:47
  just one day out of the week. The guy was very strange.
• 2:51
  Why? But I'm not saying.
• 2:52
  What was his reason for like not talking one day a week?
• 2:54
  Kind of to to shut down and rejuvenate.
• 2:58
  Oh, I did that for like the first few years of my life and I
• 3:01
  kind of got it over with in one go and now I just chat all the
• 3:04
  time. Because there are people that go
• 3:06
  to these monk places. There's a technical term for it.
• 3:11
  An Abbey, right? Yeah, yeah.
• 3:13
  And don't talk. Yeah, silent retreat stuff.
• 3:15
  Yes. Yeah, one of my pals did that, I
• 3:18
  noticed. So when my pal used to go to the
• 3:20
  silent retreat, he used to do it once a year.
• 3:22
  And then he'd come back and he was so much happier and, like,
• 3:26
  funnier and really. Yeah.
• 3:28
  Because he said what would happen is you're not allowed to,
• 3:30
  like, you're not allowed to be on your phone, obviously.
• 3:33
  And you're not allowed to, like, look online and stuff.
• 3:35
  All you have to do is just sit in your own thoughts.
• 3:37
  And that's where your creativity goes a bit like.
• 3:40
  So I always think if I get stuck in a left, I'll probably write
• 3:42
  the greatest routine ever because like, the boredom is
• 3:45
  really good for your brain. And it's all simmering because
• 3:48
  when you get out, it's just like an explosion.
• 3:51
  But you know, you can't even write, you can't write down when
• 3:54
  you're in there, I said. That would absolutely infuriate
• 3:57
  me. Like of being like, imagine you
• 3:59
  think of an amazing idea and in the second week of this month
• 4:02
  long silent retreat you're like oh fuck, what was that fucking
• 4:05
  idea? All that Abby material you have?
• 4:09
  Or what if it's like they didn't allow any tech but like just one
• 4:13
  tech? Well, just one tech.
• 4:15
  It's like you, you have a Game Boy or I'm trying.
• 4:18
  To think what I would even be able to pick.
• 4:22
  Yeah. I'm never, I've never been into
• 4:25
  like Game Boys or playing games really.
• 4:28
  No, not really. I'm not really either.
• 4:31
  I mean, I will play it if it's there.
• 4:35
  Age of Empires, actually that was, but that was on desktop,
• 4:38
  like old, kind of like I like tactical games where I have to
• 4:42
  defeat the enemy. Like Sims or?
• 4:46
  Sims. Sims City, but not Sims.
• 4:48
  No, OK. Because then I I hate ho and
• 4:50
  Sims. You just be giving them a better
• 4:52
  life than yourself. And then it makes.
• 4:55
  Reason for kids I. Hear you, yeah.
• 4:59
  Because you go with this guy on here has got a swimming pool and
• 5:02
  like I'm currently just eating a packet.
• 5:05
  Fuck this. Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:07
  That's why you killed them. You get jealous of them, then
• 5:09
  you kill them. So yeah, I didn't like Sims at
• 5:11
  all. And I'm trying to think of theme
• 5:14
  park world, you know, theme park world.
• 5:16
  No, I like the sound of. It Yeah, man, you make this like
• 5:20
  theme park thing. I used to when I was a kid, but
• 5:22
  then it used to be like this. We it's like, are we talking Ant
• 5:27
  on this thing? But I used to just be like
• 5:29
  looking at we Ant and thinking, oh, he's going to be my friend
• 5:31
  this summer holiday. A strange child.
• 5:36
  That was back. In the Lord, that was the
• 5:38
  Lawrence days though, man, not the Larry days.
• 5:40
  I was just on YouTube, sorry to switch topics.
• 5:43
  Sorry. I was on the YouTube.
• 5:45
  On the YouTube and there's this documentary of this theme park
• 5:51
  in New Jersey where it was so dangerous people would die and
• 5:56
  stuff. I forget what it's called.
• 5:59
  It's amazing. They had these rides where you
• 6:02
  just fly off into the air and yeah, they get into fights and
• 6:07
  stuff and. Do you ever like, do you go to
• 6:10
  theme parks or is that like a fear of?
• 6:11
  Yours. Well, I have kids, so they like
• 6:13
  to go. I don't like to go.
• 6:16
  I had to, I hated it so much. But then I've been forced onto a
• 6:20
  roller coaster and I'd now see the appeal.
• 6:23
  But at the same time, before I go, that's when I'd start
• 6:26
  looking at like shows like that. It's like that, that kind of
• 6:29
  you. It's like torturing yourself of
• 6:31
  like, you know, before, before a long flight.
• 6:33
  You think, oh, I'm just going to watch some air crash
• 6:35
  investigation though, as the kind of stuff I do.
• 6:38
  They have those announcements now like don't watch this if
• 6:41
  you're you know, it does have plane crashes.
• 6:46
  Really. Yeah, because there's so many
• 6:47
  Movies Now with plane crashes. Oh, really?
• 6:51
  OK, Yeah. Oh, hold on.
• 6:54
  No, because I was on a flight and then the the film flight was
• 6:57
  on the flight. But they must have had an
• 6:59
  announcement. Like just to me, not to the
• 7:02
  cabinet. Yeah, yeah, please.
• 7:04
  Yeah. Larry.
• 7:08
  The The gentleman sitting in seat 9A is about to watch a
• 7:11
  plane crash. Yeah.
• 7:14
  And then everyone's staring at you.
• 7:16
  Yeah, yeah. I should.
• 7:17
  Have you ever had that on a flight which you're walking down
• 7:20
  like to go to the toilet of? Have you gone to the toilet on a
• 7:22
  plane? No.
• 7:23
  OK, well, sometimes. Just piles of shit.
• 7:29
  I can't go. No, I always get an aisle.
• 7:33
  Yeah, straight. Yeah.
• 7:34
  OK, cool. Really.
• 7:35
  You just go in the plane for the toilet.
• 7:37
  That's it. I love it.
• 7:38
  Yeah, you don't even do. You don't even get off the plane
• 7:40
  for the holiday. He just loves the toilet.
• 7:43
  But have you ever had anything when you're walking past and
• 7:45
  then you see like, like either someone you know on the telly
• 7:50
  that they're watching or have you ever seen yourself?
• 7:54
  I saw it once. I saw.
• 7:56
  Yeah, the. Oh, really?
• 7:57
  Yeah. How was that it?
• 7:59
  Was all right. We I'm not not an eagle thing,
• 8:02
  but like, were you a bit tempted to kind of like just put your.
• 8:09
  Hi, enjoying the show. Yeah, Did you not do it?
• 8:15
  No, I didn't. I just wasn't thinking properly.
• 8:20
  To Was that on the way to the toilet?
• 8:22
  Yeah, I was on the way to. If it was on the way back I
• 8:25
  would have done something, but yeah.
• 8:26
  But then you'd probably be in the wrong way around, because on
• 8:29
  the way back from the toilet, that's when everyone's facing.
• 8:31
  You I just show my ass in front of them.
• 8:36
  Recognise this. Now let me let me get control
• 8:42
  over this interview. You're from Glasgow.
• 8:47
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 8:48
  Now. And you were born there, right?
• 8:54
  Yeah. But yeah, now they're a great
• 8:57
  audience. Great audiences in Glasgow,
• 9:00
  don't, don't you think? I mean, of course you're the
• 9:02
  hometown boy, but don't people tell you like they love it when
• 9:07
  they go up there to perform? It depends who because like I
• 9:11
  think it and also will it can get rough.
• 9:15
  Yeah, rough. It can get proper off.
• 9:16
  And also there's a there is a weird thing of I noticed when
• 9:20
  certain comics do it for like say say it's a club night and
• 9:24
  nobody knows who's on. And I notice when some English
• 9:27
  comics go on is like, so if a Scottish comics funny in the
• 9:30
  first minute, you're safe, you can do whatever.
• 9:33
  But if an English comic is not funny for the 1st 30 seconds
• 9:37
  together, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 9:39
  Yeah. So I always think of comedy or
• 9:41
  like stand up in like out of 10 level is in like, you know when,
• 9:46
  you know, when you see a compare going or something and they've
• 9:49
  got so much energy and they're so positive.
• 9:51
  Yeah, But the audience is really depressed.
• 9:53
  And it's like the whole point is you've got to meet the audience
• 9:56
  at what level that they're at. So like if audience is kind of
• 9:59
  like a 7 out of 10 energy and you got kind of deadpan compare
• 10:03
  going at 3 out of 10, then it's not going to work.
• 10:06
  So you always have to meet them one step away or at the exact
• 10:09
  same one that they're at. But if an English comic does a
• 10:12
  Glasgow club gig, they start on like a minor is five and they
• 10:16
  have to somehow bring it back up to a zero before being able to
• 10:20
  have a good one. So yeah, so it's good.
• 10:23
  Good to know the the old rivalry stillwell but.
• 10:25
  Some presenters are like cult leaders is that they've got such
• 10:31
  exuberance. Oh, I think you meant Jane.
• 10:33
  I mean, I think you meant like, literally, like really, That's
• 10:36
  where they're getting the gigs. Yeah.
• 10:38
  There was something in this. Actually though, there is a
• 10:40
  couple of comics that are members of the the Freemasons.
• 10:44
  No, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get out.
• 10:46
  Yeah, and then so you know how Freemasons shake hands in a very
• 10:49
  specific way. Yeah, they have a specific
• 10:52
  shake. Yeah.
• 10:53
  And then so I kept shaking the hand to try and figure out what
• 10:56
  it was because apparently it's so slight.
• 10:59
  But then they tell me that it's not like it's not like what you
• 11:02
  think it is, but obviously they're going to say that.
• 11:04
  Do you know what I mean? You know, when I first went to
• 11:06
  Edinburgh for the festival, it was at a former, it was at a
• 11:11
  Mason place. Oh, really, Hill?
• 11:14
  Street theatre, right? Yeah.
• 11:17
  And they had all these names on the wall, like, you know, Joseph
• 11:22
  O'Connell 1535 like. And they had this dark room in
• 11:28
  the back where I guess they took initiates.
• 11:32
  Were you performing at this place?
• 11:34
  Yeah, no, you know, everything gets turned into a venue.
• 11:37
  I mean, I didn't think that would get just you walking out
• 11:40
  and everybody's like in gowns and wearing like masks and
• 11:43
  stuff. Eyes wide shut.
• 11:46
  Party Ding. Someone on the piano going Ding.
• 11:52
  Yeah, they didn't give applause breaks.
• 11:54
  He just went like that. That was weird, I should have
• 11:57
  known earlier. I never, I never heard of that
• 12:01
  place. Yeah, yeah.
• 12:01
  But. Should we join the Freemasons?
• 12:03
  Yeah, why not? We need people.
• 12:06
  Dude, I think that would be like the perfect the perfect end to
• 12:09
  the episode is that we get initiated at the end into the
• 12:12
  Freemasons because I do wonder like you ever like you look at
• 12:17
  who is a no, you never wonder no.
• 12:20
  But then if you look at like there is loads of high up people
• 12:26
  that are Freemasons and I think. What is it?
• 12:28
  Judges. Police.
• 12:30
  Really. Yeah.
• 12:32
  So. So clearly they're not like.
• 12:33
  Good. I'm not.
• 12:34
  I don't know. Because usually the thing that
• 12:37
  would make me join an organisation is like free food
• 12:40
  and I'm thinking, well, they don't exactly need free stuff.
• 12:42
  They might. You think everybody wants free.
• 12:46
  You know who gets the most free stuff?
• 12:48
  Celebrities, they get offered free stuff all the time and they
• 12:53
  love it. Like those Oscar the Oscar gift
• 12:56
  box? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 12:58
  So. That's why people invite their
• 13:00
  parents so they can get those gift boxes.
• 13:04
  OK, so maybe instead of joining the Freemasons, why don't we
• 13:07
  make something that would win an Oscar and then we can get some
• 13:11
  free stuff from it and. It's got to be World War 2 and
• 13:15
  we've got to be have a learning disability.
• 13:19
  No, I'm just thinking the quickest way to get an Oscar.
• 13:26
  We're in a concentration camp with a learning disability.
• 13:33
  We've done some AI research and this is the quickest way to get
• 13:37
  an Oscar. It's fine.
• 13:40
  So, right, Cool. Right, Right.
• 13:42
  We're in a concentration camp and he's got a learning
• 13:43
  disability. Yeah, he's not going in the
• 13:45
  shower. He still needs to learn his
• 13:46
  ABC's. That's right.
• 13:49
  Yeah, he doesn't even, he doesn't even know what number he
• 13:51
  is. They that's too dark.
• 13:54
  It's way too dark. And you go, you have a meeting
• 13:57
  with your agent, you go, what's the best way for me to get a
• 14:00
  gift bag? I mean an Oscar.
• 14:03
  It's all about the gift bag. Nobody gives a shit about the
• 14:06
  Oscar. It's all about the gift bag.
• 14:08
  And they must get free food at the Oscars.
• 14:10
  Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 14:12
  I mean, I bet, yeah. What award ceremonies have you
• 14:15
  been to? Oh, all of them in my mind,
• 14:19
  yeah. Isn't it?
• 14:21
  You know. I haven't been to any of the big
• 14:24
  ones. I've been to some little ones.
• 14:26
  But this is this is where it's like down to interpretation,
• 14:29
  right? Because some of the ones that
• 14:30
  you would be like, oh, that's not a big one.
• 14:32
  I'll be like, oh, that is a big one, right?
• 14:34
  Right. So like, have you been to
• 14:36
  Channel 4 Comedy Awards? Yeah, I think I went to the REI,
• 14:41
  no, the royal. REI Royal Royal Entertainment
• 14:49
  and and and just and institute. Yeah, well, I don't know an
• 14:54
  Irish thing. I don't even know.
• 14:57
  REI isn't like a Republic of violent.
• 15:00
  Thing I got kidnapped. Because I even found that the
• 15:06
  fucking any awards thing I've been to, I've only been to like,
• 15:12
  yeah, none of the big ones or anything.
• 15:15
  But I get bored probably because I'm not up for anything, but I
• 15:19
  get bored. I'm watching and I'm but it's a
• 15:21
  free bar. So I remember at one awards I
• 15:23
  got invited by a pal and I was still was it called drinking
• 15:30
  regular at the time. Now only do a few times a year.
• 15:33
  But I thought what I'll do is the bar closes when the awards
• 15:38
  are on, the bar staff going to be bored out or not.
• 15:40
  So I'm going to befriend the bar staff because when the bar opens
• 15:44
  again, he'll be immediate. So I I was the real winner that
• 15:47
  night. Well, you know the dynamic of
• 15:50
  most award shows that have a bar going is everyone's excited at
• 15:55
  the beginning because they're all potential winners.
• 15:59
  Then they announce 1 winner, right?
• 16:01
  All of those nominees and the winner start drinking and then
• 16:07
  they go out. It's like eventually
• 16:09
  everybody's, everybody's talking amongst each other until there's
• 16:13
  only like the, you know, the best picture or whatever.
• 16:16
  Yeah, yeah. And then you can have, because I
• 16:19
  think it needs to be quicker. It's whenever I see these people
• 16:21
  doing these fucking speeches. Yeah.
• 16:23
  Yeah. So you just get that over with.
• 16:24
  And also, to be honest, what would you rather watch
• 16:27
  celebrities or actors or whoever, you know, winning these
• 16:30
  awards, or would you rather watch them open a free gift bag
• 16:34
  and see how excited they get? It's like ASMR mix of awards,
• 16:38
  right? Because, you know, like, you see
• 16:40
  these people on YouTube and they open like presents.
• 16:43
  I bet they're not supposed to do that with the Oscar stuff.
• 16:46
  Oh yeah. There's a big controversy a few
• 16:47
  years ago that this, some of the stuff was too expensive.
• 16:50
  Yeah, But you have, I mean, as weird as it is, giving the
• 16:55
  richest people like, you know, a free watch and free perfume and
• 16:59
  stuff, it'd be weird if they give it to like, you know, the
• 17:02
  poodles people. It's still being a bit weird in
• 17:05
  it. Yeah, they can't handle it.
• 17:12
  So. OK, so you're in Glasgow.
• 17:15
  How long? How long did you spend in
• 17:17
  Glasgow? Looking for is this veered off
• 17:19
  so much it's. Veered off.
• 17:21
  Yeah, I've got to bring the car back on the road, off the dirt
• 17:27
  and then get back off the shoulder.
• 17:29
  OK, I think we can do it. We can do it.
• 17:31
  Let's do it. Yeah, Let's do a normal episode.
• 17:33
  I mean, I don't mind deviating. I'm just bringing us back so we
• 17:38
  keep going. If we stick to this man, we can
• 17:40
  get you the fucking podcast award, man.
• 17:42
  I want to be at one of those award podcast shows.
• 17:45
  Yeah. And you know what I'm going to,
• 17:46
  I'm going to bring this glass with me.
• 17:49
  If I get invited to any any award thing and I'm doing my
• 17:53
  standard. I've promised them that I will
• 17:55
  plug this. Hold on.
• 17:57
  So. 2 seconds. I'm just about to have a
• 18:00
  delicious drink. I don't know how, but it tastes
• 18:06
  better from this glass. Oh, your fingers covered my
• 18:09
  fingers. Let me try again.
• 18:13
  There we go, beautiful. I don't know how, but it tastes
• 18:18
  better in this glass. That's a wrap.
• 18:21
  Yeah, that's a wrap. That's great.
• 18:23
  Beautiful. So I got brought up in Glasgow.
• 18:29
  Yeah. And so you went to school there,
• 18:33
  and you finished school, right? Yeah, I left school.
• 18:36
  I was actually, yeah, I did sex for him as well.
• 18:38
  Man. I wanted to leave school when I
• 18:40
  was like 15, but then my parents were like strict on that shit.
• 18:45
  So good. For them.
• 18:47
  Yeah, you're a big believer in school.
• 18:49
  Well, no, I mean I'm a parent now, so I'm like.
• 18:54
  You wouldn't. Want them to leave?
• 18:55
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. What age do they know?
• 18:58
  13 and 10. Yeah, they should stay in school
• 19:00
  right now, yeah. Yeah, but did you want to go
• 19:03
  into comedy or? No, you know what?
• 19:05
  I wanted to do music or something.
• 19:07
  Oh, cool. But then I wasn't I definitely
• 19:12
  wasn't good enough to do anything professional.
• 19:15
  So I probably ended up, I don't know, playing the guitar and
• 19:18
  some like Beach and Tenerife and asking for money afterwards.
• 19:21
  You'd. Still be there now.
• 19:24
  Actually, I don't know why I decided on doing comedy.
• 19:26
  That doesn't sound too bad. I could have.
• 19:31
  I could have lived on the beach. That's right.
• 19:33
  I could have joined your Patreon with my cash, see.
• 19:37
  Yeah, I think as well. But the comedy thing, I'd always
• 19:41
  wanted to do comedy, but then when I did it only did it
• 19:46
  because. So basically on.
• 19:50
  When did you first do it? First time I ever did stand up I
• 19:53
  was 18 and basically it was because you had to do a you cast
• 19:58
  form in my school so you had to apply for all these different
• 20:02
  unities. So I was failing like all my
• 20:04
  tests. Anyway, I like only got I got AB
• 20:07
  and R and AC in music. That's pretty good.
• 20:11
  But AD in modern studies and that was that.
• 20:13
  So no English, no maths or anything like that.
• 20:16
  But in this thing, this class they made you do once a week,
• 20:19
  you'd have to fill in these things because the school needs
• 20:22
  enough people to go to uni to sound like it's a good.
• 20:24
  School, right? It UPS their reputation.
• 20:26
  Yeah, so then everybody had to apply.
• 20:28
  So I was fully expecting to like, not get in anywhere.
• 20:31
  And then I applied for loads of different like drama courses and
• 20:35
  stuff and one of them came up as comedy writing and performance,
• 20:40
  a Solon University, which at the time was the second worst
• 20:43
  university in the UK and. You're going to say like Billy
• 20:47
  Connolly University. Oh mate, yeah, exactly.
• 20:50
  That was when you got that would be a high, really respected
• 20:53
  establishment, but not so when I did that, I thought I'm not
• 20:57
  going to turn up to any auditions.
• 20:58
  I didn't up to any auditions, even though they asked me to go.
• 21:01
  And I still got into the Solon one, the Southampton one,
• 21:04
  because they needed more people. Well done.
• 21:07
  So basically I got in through the back door of this uni and I
• 21:11
  was like, I was thinking I'm not going to go because I'm going to
• 21:14
  miss home too much, I'll miss like my family and stuff.
• 21:17
  And then I got in trouble with the law.
• 21:21
  Well, a group of my mates that they got the blame, but I was
• 21:24
  worried that I was going to I get caught and then and then
• 21:28
  also other powers of my moral moving away from Glasgow.
• 21:32
  So I thought I'm going to be that we'll do at the end of a
• 21:34
  party. So I.
• 21:37
  Still there. Yeah, and so I thought I would
• 21:40
  just go to Southampton for a few years.
• 21:42
  Apparently when I left the house in Glasgow my, the phrase I said
• 21:46
  was I'm just going to go down there and just get it over with.
• 21:49
  So it's three years of my life I'll just get over with and then
• 21:52
  after that, a few months of doing that course, you have to
• 21:56
  do stand up. But the stand up section of this
• 21:58
  degree, it was only like fucking two months man.
• 22:02
  Wait, so you actually applied for the basis that you wanted to
• 22:07
  do stand up? I just thought anything to do
• 22:09
  with comedy, I'd wow and. And so you went for three years?
• 22:15
  Yeah, but the comedy is so the rod.
• 22:19
  So I thought, oh, it's a comedy degree.
• 22:21
  It must be like stand up sketches.
• 22:24
  Slapstick one day. Yeah, dude.
• 22:26
  But you know what ends up being is you talk about fucking
• 22:28
  dadaism for like. Six months.
• 22:31
  And then, yeah. And like, you mean you learn
• 22:35
  some interesting stuff, but at no point I ever been on stage
• 22:40
  and I thought what would what would dally have done in this
• 22:42
  situation? Yeah.
• 22:45
  You want some actual experience. Yes, you want like, you know,
• 22:49
  professional comedians to come in and, like, tell you what to
• 22:52
  do. I mean, at the same time,
• 22:53
  there's also that argument. I've seen enough comedians come
• 22:56
  from comedy courses that go oh that that course would have not
• 23:01
  been as useful as just doing a gig.
• 23:03
  Yeah, exactly. But there is ones.
• 23:05
  What's that French one that that guy?
• 23:08
  The clown guy. Yeah, yeah, I've seen a lot of
• 23:10
  communities come from that. Yes.
• 23:12
  And I think that's that seems to be good because it breaks you do
• 23:15
  you know what I mean? It's like apparently he's so
• 23:18
  critical, but in like, but it means you just get you root, you
• 23:22
  get rid of all embarrassment you've ever had such.
• 23:25
  A Baron Cohen did that. Really.
• 23:27
  Yeah. And then I think ELF lines did
• 23:30
  it and so did the. Doctor Brown.
• 23:34
  Yeah, yeah. And Doctor Brown teaches one as
• 23:36
  well at Soho Theatre sometimes. I'd only did a couple of years
• 23:39
  ago and I was really pissed off at Master.
• 23:43
  I don't know why Dot Brown's teaching it when we have.
• 23:46
  I know. Come into Rich's basement.
• 23:49
  I'll have to talk to him for when he goes back.
• 23:51
  I'll just take his place, yeah. Yeah, man, you do it.
• 23:55
  So while you were studying this in Southampton, did you do gigs
• 24:01
  or did you? Yeah.
• 24:03
  Hold on, I need a sip of this delicious water.
• 24:09
  Salter Stock Books. Taste better for this glass and
• 24:16
  the. So you were gay, Were you doing
• 24:19
  get the odd gig going into London and stuff or?
• 24:23
  Yeah, so the first year of uni dead, about 3 or 4 gigs, but
• 24:28
  that was only just to my uni mates, right?
• 24:32
  And then I remember Ed Axel, who is one of the funniest comedians
• 24:38
  I've ever seen and he came to do a show in Southampton and a
• 24:44
  bunch of the comedy students were talking to him and he said
• 24:47
  you have to do it at least 3-4 times a week to get good and to
• 24:52
  be so you all. Quit after that.
• 24:55
  You know, it's funny that I took it as a challenge.
• 24:57
  I was that right. I'm going to do this three or
• 24:58
  four times a week. So then I'd get a train up to
• 25:02
  London and from Southampton and I started doing that all the
• 25:06
  time and I basically didn't have enough money.
• 25:09
  So what I started doing is I gave up drinking in order to pay
• 25:13
  for the trains. Wow.
• 25:15
  Because you figured how much money you'd spend on drinking?
• 25:19
  Yeah, yeah, that's what people do with coffee now.
• 25:23
  They gave up coffee so they can afford a house.
• 25:25
  Yeah, I gave up alcohol so I could afford a dream.
• 25:29
  That's pretty good, you can use that.
• 25:32
  Thanks mate. Yes.
• 25:36
  It's annoying though, because now I look back, right and I'd
• 25:40
  have done it so much different. I would have done it way
• 25:43
  different than I did that. Really.
• 25:44
  Yeah. Because now I'm even, I kind of
• 25:46
  begrudge the fact that I've missed out on because the second
• 25:49
  year of Union, the third year of uni, I didn't get to enjoy it as
• 25:52
  much as other people did because I was too obsessed with making
• 25:55
  sure I had like, got good at stand up.
• 25:58
  But then I think the farther you go on and stand up, the more you
• 26:00
  go. Oh, I actually didn't have to do
• 26:02
  that. I could have just done something
• 26:03
  else. Sometimes you need that nervous
• 26:06
  energy to get you over the hump. Sometimes, yeah, there is better
• 26:09
  ways of doing it. It's obviously going to be
• 26:11
  different for every person, but for myself I was like, Oh no, I
• 26:16
  did not need to do open my gigs to other comedians.
• 26:20
  I needed to do an actual stand up course with a teacher that
• 26:25
  was encouraging and that actually would know how to make
• 26:29
  a gig work. Right.
• 26:31
  That's not shitting on the teachers that I had, but I'm
• 26:33
  just like, it's when you've got someone that says professional
• 26:36
  stand up full time telling you what to do.
• 26:40
  I can usually tell who's going to be a good stand up no by how
• 26:43
  they take feedback or how they ask for feedback because I don't
• 26:47
  just give them feedback, but if they ask for feedback or if they
• 26:51
  are trying to better themselves. There's two types of comic
• 26:54
  those. Ones the ones that don't listen.
• 26:56
  Yeah, there's loads of ones that don't listen just I mean, I
• 26:58
  think there's two types of comics, ones that do it because
• 27:01
  they love comedy and then there's ones that do it because
• 27:03
  they love attention. And the ones that are successful
• 27:08
  used to be, it used to be only the ones that loved comedy
• 27:12
  because their obsession would take over.
• 27:13
  But now and I kind of in our social media age, since we've
• 27:17
  got to be our own salesman, you have to have both.
• 27:21
  And then the ones that the ones that do it just for attention,
• 27:24
  eventually that just fucking it always falls off a Cliff.
• 27:28
  Well. One thing I've noticed about you
• 27:30
  is you always seem to be having fun on stage.
• 27:34
  Really. Yeah.
• 27:35
  Oh my God. There's a there's a bit of of
• 27:38
  joy of comedy with you if. I think that means I've got a
• 27:42
  chance of this Oscar. No, no, I'm, I'm not
• 27:45
  bullshitting. I'm just saying it seems like
• 27:48
  you'd like, like just from watching you, you know, on, on
• 27:54
  YouTube and stuff like you like sitting in a room and making
• 27:57
  jokes. Yeah.
• 27:59
  And then that's a real fun thing.
• 28:01
  And then performing it. Yeah, the thing I've, I mean
• 28:05
  this since I sent a fucking wank stain for saying it, but I find
• 28:08
  I find myself funny. So when I think of something
• 28:12
  funny, I will laugh about it and then I get really excited about
• 28:15
  telling it. But then I find it so much fun
• 28:19
  when I get going great, it's really fun.
• 28:21
  But I I'm the worst person for like a work in progress show
• 28:25
  because if something doesn't work I get so like insecure
• 28:28
  because I hate the feeling of letting people down so I get so
• 28:31
  insecure about it and then that means I'll just try fucking
• 28:34
  everything. So how how good are you at?
• 28:38
  I know this joke works in a room with us.
• 28:42
  I've got to make it work on stage.
• 28:44
  Will you tweak and tweak it and tweak it or will you just say
• 28:48
  fuck it, I'll do another joke? I end up just forgetting about
• 28:51
  it. I don't even have a conscious
• 28:52
  decision. I'll end up just after and not
• 28:54
  working a couple of times. I just go oh, and I just don't
• 28:57
  think about it ever again. Right.
• 28:59
  So I've gone back through notes and like audio record.
• 29:03
  Pardon me, audio. Recording.
• 29:06
  I never do that, do I, Kenny? No.
• 29:10
  There's a couple of episodes where I'm belching.
• 29:15
  There's no guest, it's just you doing that, just 30 minutes of
• 29:23
  you belching. That's where the clown the clown
• 29:27
  school comes in. They'll like your class will be
• 29:31
  like, today is belching La Belch and there's students taking
• 29:38
  notes. So you're from Glasgow.
• 29:48
  Wow, I have a theory too. Loads of people, loads of people
• 30:05
  are funny, right? But and you know, you hear
• 30:09
  people, they go, you ought to do stand up.
• 30:13
  You know, people have friends in school, but they never do it or
• 30:17
  they, they don't succeed because you've got to be natural on
• 30:22
  stage and not laugh. Come on, What was the question
• 30:44
  against? I forgot where we left off.
• 30:50
  When somebody when somebody when somebody when somebody's funny.
• 30:57
  But then it might not. Work.
• 30:58
  Oh yeah, yeah, it might not work on stage.
• 31:00
  So that's where a lot of the you need to go up a lot.
• 31:04
  So you're so natural on stage. That you those.
• 31:09
  I think it's the rhythm. The rhythm is all a bit.
• 31:11
  Yeah, yeah. Because I've, I mean, I've seen
• 31:13
  plenty of comics that are the funniest people off stage, but
• 31:17
  it just, it doesn't translate on.
• 31:19
  And then the same for the other way around.
• 31:22
  This was the comics that are not funny off stage, and then on
• 31:25
  stage they are incredibly funny because they know the mechanics
• 31:28
  of it. I find that weird.
• 31:30
  It's really weird, but I mean one of the ones it's usually the
• 31:34
  the comics that have been going the longest tend to not be funny
• 31:37
  off stage because they don't feel the need to anymore.
• 31:40
  Like they just let it all out. They're the ones that don't hang
• 31:43
  out backstage either. They go right out the.
• 31:45
  Door I tell you the one that I genuinely think when you when it
• 31:48
  comes to like packing up techniques and picking up like
• 31:53
  writing things, and the one that's great for that is Frank
• 31:58
  Skinner. I remember watching Frank
• 31:59
  Skinner be like, oh, like his callbacks and it's like, you can
• 32:01
  totally see that he was great English literature and stuff
• 32:05
  because also some of his stuff is so, so strongly wrote.
• 32:09
  But it also be really smarty at the same time.
• 32:12
  But then people would think, I hate when people look at like a
• 32:15
  comic and then go, oh, it's just smarty.
• 32:18
  It's easy. And it's like, oh, no.
• 32:19
  The fact that Frank Skinner could do really clever stuff
• 32:23
  with that kind of topic makes even more impressive.
• 32:25
  Also, what's good about him is, you know how his rhythm and
• 32:30
  stuff is almost built for a longevity.
• 32:33
  Like he can do that rhythm and that style like 50 years from
• 32:39
  now. Yeah.
• 32:40
  Yeah. Whereas some comics, you know,
• 32:42
  like they have so much energy. It's like, there's no way you
• 32:47
  can keep that up. Yeah.
• 32:49
  And you're all. It's like a rock singer like Axl
• 32:52
  Rose hitting the I know. Yeah.
• 32:55
  And it's like it's it's funny when you see some comics that
• 32:58
  used to be like that and then eventually they just kind of go
• 33:00
  to this kind of sitting on a chair kind of yes, belching are.
• 33:09
  You saying that's what I'm going to do now?
• 33:14
  I just saw an open go without the Drury.
• 33:16
  Lane Theatre, Rich Vulture, everybody.
• 33:25
  You know the 1 is what I say. Richard Pryor is person my
• 33:30
  favourite ever comic and seeing him do like it only do it
• 33:35
  deadpan with no like no voices, no like act outs or anything
• 33:42
  like that until he knew the writing was right then he'd add
• 33:45
  that stuff. Oh, that's how he did it, yeah.
• 33:47
  Yeah, and Chris Rock apparently does the same thing, though.
• 33:49
  That is good. Is that how you do it?
• 33:54
  Yeah, Well, actually fun enough. I know.
• 33:56
  It's the other night I've been working on a new routine and
• 33:58
  it's not really been working. It's been going alright, but
• 34:02
  it's just like I can, you can end up comparing it to older
• 34:05
  stuff and you go, it's not up to that standard.
• 34:07
  But then I noticed I was so tired the other day and I went
• 34:11
  on stage and I just didn't do any actors, didn't do any like
• 34:15
  faces or voices. I did it almost like deadpanny
• 34:17
  and it worked better and I'm thinking I can't do it deadpan
• 34:21
  because it's not my kind of style, but I thought maybe I'm
• 34:25
  seeing it too quickly or putting too much energy in the wrong
• 34:28
  places. I do that sometimes, yeah,
• 34:32
  because I'm feeding off the crowd and I'm worried that, you
• 34:36
  know, I got to, I got to get them early.
• 34:39
  Yeah. So I'll do too much energy and
• 34:42
  then I'll go. When you play it back, it's like
• 34:44
  I really ploughed through that. Oh, so it looks.
• 34:47
  It's weird because you go, oh, I'm putting enthusiasm into it,
• 34:50
  but enthusiasm to a British audience is taking his nerves.
• 34:54
  Do you know what I mean? Like, if you like, if you're too
• 34:57
  enthusiastic, people just go, why are you trying so hard?
• 35:01
  Yeah, But American audiences tend to be like, yeah, we're in
• 35:04
  things. Like that?
• 35:05
  Yeah, it's like you're out of wheel football game.
• 35:08
  Yeah, it's like, Oh my God, he just came on and he was like, he
• 35:11
  was so raring to go. It was so funny and like, you
• 35:14
  were like, what the fuck is this wheel doing?
• 35:18
  So you got you got to be cool at the beginning.
• 35:20
  Yeah, yeah, play it cool. Yeah.
• 35:23
  So you graduate, right? Yeah.
• 35:26
  You get like a special border board and stuff.
• 35:31
  You have to rent them. You don't get it.
• 35:34
  I don't know. Do you?
• 35:35
  Yeah. You rent them.
• 35:35
  Oh, you rent them? Yeah, which is just fucking
• 35:38
  shit, like what's you know, I mean, you should be able to keep
• 35:40
  your cap. You didn't get a comedy 1, you
• 35:43
  know, with fake vomit on it or something.
• 35:49
  No, I didn't get. The comedy grads.
• 35:55
  With the cool ones. And no, we didn't get any of
• 35:58
  that. Man, I wasn't even going to go
• 36:01
  to graduation as well. I couldn't be asked.
• 36:03
  I just found it so. Yeah.
• 36:05
  Parents go fucking my fault and I was just about this is so
• 36:07
  dumb. We just literally you have to
• 36:09
  pay more for a hotel to stay there.
• 36:11
  Oh yeah, you have to be more for food and all that stuff because
• 36:14
  the restaurants go and then we charge more and then people get
• 36:18
  a bunch of pictures of you in a stupid black goonies.
• 36:20
  Like who gives a fuck? No gifts.
• 36:23
  You don't get it. Oh, wait, no.
• 36:24
  Did I get any gifts? I think my nanny gave me like
• 36:27
  £100 or something like that. That's nice.
• 36:29
  Yeah. But she I was like, yeah, that's
• 36:30
  getting spent in the hotel. This is so dumb.
• 36:33
  So when people were complaining about, oh, I didn't get a
• 36:35
  graduation because of lockdown, I was like, you must fuck all
• 36:38
  that was like the. That was like the best thing to
• 36:40
  lose in lock then. Yeah.
• 36:41
  We should change that. It's for the parents.
• 36:45
  I don't know. I wouldn't you know they do like
• 36:47
  not do you have like nursery graduation, like like end of
• 36:50
  year graduation? Everything graduation it's.
• 36:53
  So weird man. I'm just like, what happened to
• 36:55
  like treating kids like shit that was.
• 36:58
  That was a good bring it back. That was a good old days man.
• 37:01
  Send those cunts up the chimney. You should use that.
• 37:07
  So when you graduated, did you go, I'm going to go to London
• 37:10
  now or what? What was the big thing?
• 37:14
  So I was thinking of moving back to Glasgow but I was convinced
• 37:18
  if hold on. You wanted the security of
• 37:22
  Glasgow? Yeah, I just missed my family.
• 37:25
  But then you know what it was actually as well as I was on
• 37:28
  stage talking about, I was doing quite dark humour.
• 37:33
  About ghosts, No, no, OK, I was just guessing.
• 37:40
  I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.
• 37:44
  No, I was just confused when I talked about Frank Skinner doing
• 37:50
  smutty stuff. Were you thinking, Well, that
• 37:52
  sounds quite spooky, that. Yeah, that's a bit.
• 38:00
  Scary. No.
• 38:01
  I was doing really kind of dark, kind of smutty stuff and they
• 38:05
  are fucking. That was sort of your thing.
• 38:10
  Yeah, but I didn't want to be back in Glasgow because Glasgow
• 38:12
  is like a village man. Everybody talks to each other.
• 38:15
  So then I'd end up hearing or apparently you've been doing a
• 38:19
  joke about this and all that stuff.
• 38:21
  So I was like, I'm not going to go back.
• 38:24
  Yeah, I thought I'd spend another couple years in London
• 38:27
  and then I spent another seven years in London.
• 38:30
  Then I moved back, and then I moved away again.
• 38:34
  So how long did you spend when you moved to Glasgow?
• 38:37
  How long were you there? When I moved back, that was from
• 38:41
  2018 to 2025. Seven years, yeah, fucking
• 38:50
  lockdown fuck there for than mine.
• 38:51
  I was going to be I was I'll be back for a couple of years and
• 38:54
  then I'll go. But I've even noticed as well
• 38:56
  with a lot of comics, usually they get like a big break.
• 39:02
  They get like in a moment about 10 years after they start
• 39:06
  usually. And then and then I noticed a
• 39:09
  lot of comics from that kind of era that we're supposed to get.
• 39:14
  This is your 10 year kind of. They missed it.
• 39:16
  They missed it. Yeah, I know they've had
• 39:18
  tickets. It feels really weird.
• 39:19
  They're kind of in this kind of like like limbo, the whole
• 39:24
  thing. Yes.
• 39:25
  And it's really unfair because you go, whoa, they should have
• 39:28
  had the moment, but they didn't get it.
• 39:30
  And then somebody else gets it. Other people are, yeah.
• 39:34
  And then you have to find some really, like different way.
• 39:36
  I mean, that's the thing. Now you've got to find a really
• 39:38
  different way, whether or not it's like making celebrities
• 39:41
  open gift boxes or belching or showing your ass on a flight
• 39:46
  next to a screen. You got to be flexible.
• 39:49
  Yeah, that's, that's all I think.
• 39:51
  I mean, you've got it all covered.
• 39:52
  To be honest, I'm everything, yeah.
• 39:57
  Although I did say this to like. So have you seen them?
• 40:02
  Uncle Roger? Nigel Young's character doesn't
• 40:07
  TikTok. No, I haven't.
• 40:09
  So like all of us, this is like The funny thing of all of us
• 40:12
  were like obsessed with like, how do we get more likes on
• 40:15
  social media? How do we get more like people
• 40:16
  to come to see me live? How do we get all this kind of
• 40:19
  stuff? And it was nobody ever gets the
• 40:22
  right as in like what year? Like what audiences actually
• 40:25
  want. So like, you've got nobody in
• 40:28
  2020 thought you know what the the most successful comedian
• 40:32
  from this year is going to be? It's going to be a guy reviewing
• 40:35
  race. Oh, I am seeing.
• 40:37
  Yeah, yeah. And even like.
• 40:39
  My kids watch. That and Troy Hawk, like nobody
• 40:42
  would have thought, oh, you know what the most successful
• 40:44
  comedian from online from this year's going to do?
• 40:47
  He's going to greet people on the way into Primark.
• 40:50
  It's just so random. So it's kind of worth just going
• 40:53
  fuck it, I'll just try anything because.
• 40:55
  You know what I look at it as is the ultimate goal is like you
• 40:59
  were talking about when you go to a club and nobody knows you.
• 41:03
  Yeah, well, the whole goal is to go book a theatre or book,
• 41:10
  whatever. People know you and that they
• 41:14
  expect your kind of comedy. Because if you can get there no
• 41:18
  matter what, if you do YouTube, you're on a quiz show, whatever,
• 41:22
  if you can just get to that level, then you can like do your
• 41:26
  thing on stage that you want to do.
• 41:29
  But then the other problem with that though is do you not think
• 41:34
  get the nerves up? Oh fuck, they want to come see
• 41:37
  me? What?
• 41:38
  What am I like? Yeah, well, you've got to be
• 41:41
  able to back that up. I'll get, I'll get back you've.
• 41:45
  Got the goods for that. I don't know.
• 41:47
  I don't think about, I try not to think about it anymore.
• 41:49
  But then I get really like, I get really worried about, as I
• 41:53
  say, I'm always worried about letting people down, which is
• 41:55
  good because it drives you to make sure you keep working hard.
• 41:58
  Sounds like Catholic guilt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 42:02
  Yeah, you're Catholic as well. No.
• 42:04
  No. I was raised cremation.
• 42:08
  I would raise Freemason. I thought you said freebasing.
• 42:14
  I I was a little bit no Episcopalian then.
• 42:21
  That's like you. Don't you only eat fish?
• 42:23
  It's like the. Church of England, you know you
• 42:27
  play golf. Pescopalian.
• 42:29
  Yeah. What am I thinking of?
• 42:30
  What's the the the the poor man's vegetarian called
• 42:33
  pescetarian? Pescatarian.
• 42:35
  So you're Episcopalian? Episcopalian.
• 42:39
  That's what I sort of was raised as.
• 42:41
  Yeah, So what do Episcopalians believe?
• 42:44
  A lot of golf, like it's like the Church of England.
• 42:49
  It's like way lighter than Catholic.
• 42:52
  My mom was Catholic. Yeah, I was treated with this
• 42:56
  Pescopalian lot. Yeah, yeah.
• 42:59
  So it's a form of Church of England.
• 43:02
  No, no, it's, it's, you know, when they went over to the US,
• 43:06
  it's sort of 1. Of those oh it's AUS thing.
• 43:08
  Protestant. Yeah.
• 43:09
  OK. Where did you?
• 43:11
  Where are you from in the US? Well, I was born in
• 43:14
  Massachusetts and then I moved all over the US because my dad
• 43:19
  was in the Air Force. All right.
• 43:21
  Yeah. And.
• 43:24
  You get the car back on the highway.
• 43:26
  Yeah, why? Come on.
• 43:28
  I like, I like. I prefer interviewing you, man.
• 43:31
  I. Know anybody winds up doing
• 43:34
  that? Oh.
• 43:37
  Was there a toilet on your dad's aeroplane?
• 43:39
  Yeah, and I shoved my bum in his face, yeah.
• 43:44
  Did you do a lot of YouTube stuff during lockdown?
• 43:47
  No, man, I was all about tech talk.
• 43:49
  Oh, nice, nice and. Then yeah, that went good.
• 43:53
  And then I just got out of the habit of putting stuff out.
• 43:57
  Every day. Yeah, man, But this, this, this
• 44:01
  is a final thing I find really hard is when.
• 44:04
  So if I'm working on something new and then I have to go back
• 44:07
  and watch something old, I end up getting really confused with
• 44:10
  what the fuck is old and what the fuck is new.
• 44:12
  And then so when it comes to like editing stuff or like
• 44:17
  getting my clips ready to put out and stuff, I need like time
• 44:20
  off to do that. Otherwise I'm just going to
• 44:21
  confuse myself and make the gig worse later.
• 44:24
  And then so basically lockdown was ideal because I had all
• 44:28
  these videos that could just go through and be like, oh,
• 44:30
  actually I'll just shove that one out today and nothing to do
• 44:33
  apart from that. Yeah, yeah.
• 44:35
  Did you just do them every day or did you bank a bunch and
• 44:38
  then? No, I just did them every day.
• 44:40
  I thought you got to spread out the fun man during the but then
• 44:45
  now I'm kind of I need to get back into to edit together and
• 44:50
  I've just started going through old stuff, which actually to be
• 44:53
  feel was fun going now going through old stuff.
• 44:56
  I've been so long since I watched a video of myself that
• 44:59
  was like, oh actually. I'm not bad.
• 45:01
  Yeah, it's funny. I always think, oh, that was
• 45:03
  shit. I'm.
• 45:04
  Pretty fucking good. Dude, my husband fucking says to
• 45:07
  me all the time I come off stage and I'll be like, that was
• 45:09
  fucking shit. I was terrible.
• 45:11
  Like I forgot this line, I forgot this line, I forgot this
• 45:13
  thing. And he says he's like, you've
• 45:16
  got the worst gauge because he says sometimes I've come off
• 45:18
  stage and be like, oh, that was great.
• 45:20
  And he goes that was shit. Nobody find you funny.
• 45:23
  And then he says when you come off and say it was shit, it was
• 45:25
  great. So I've got no gauge.
• 45:28
  I find that that especially in front of like audience that
• 45:33
  comes up afterwards, if they like it, don't cut down your ACT
• 45:37
  because they'll go, it was great.
• 45:40
  And then you go, oh, well, I missed this bed and I didn't do
• 45:43
  that. Yeah, really.
• 45:45
  You're not a God. Yeah, and you know what they
• 45:49
  leave thinking, First of all, they feel dumb.
• 45:52
  I remember, like my first partner said to me, he said you
• 45:55
  make people feel really dumb for complimenting.
• 45:57
  Yes, she says. You've got to make their
• 46:00
  compliment a good thing about them.
• 46:02
  Exactly. And then when you go into about,
• 46:06
  I remember I think it was like a reviewer years ago.
• 46:09
  I chatted to them afterwards and all my criticisms of myself, all
• 46:15
  my criticism myself, ended up on their fucking page.
• 46:18
  Because you. Gave them the information, yeah.
• 46:21
  So now whenever I talk to reviewer, I just keep saying
• 46:23
  five stars every couple of. Words.
• 46:25
  Yes. They don't know.
• 46:27
  Obviously not. Most of them don't know.
• 46:28
  I mean, some of them I think are kind of bang on.
• 46:30
  It's like, though, I mean, not to compare it, but I am is
• 46:36
  comedy in is a bit like magic and you're exposing the trick or
• 46:41
  or whatever to them. It's like, well, when I said 3
• 46:44
  Irishmen going to a bar, it's actually and it's like they
• 46:49
  don't want to hear that. They don't want to hear how the
• 46:51
  sausage is made. But some people love a man some
• 46:54
  people are so obsessed with, and comedy obsessives are quite
• 47:00
  strange people. What do they look like?
• 47:05
  They're mostly men. Yeah, they've always got
• 47:08
  glasses. Married.
• 47:11
  No. Oh, no, usually no.
• 47:13
  What's it called? Usually when they they're
• 47:14
  married is some a lady as well who has similar and that kind of
• 47:19
  yeah, and they'll they whenever you ask how they met, we met at
• 47:23
  a meeting, but usually like say, oh, probably because it's some
• 47:30
  form of meeting. It's usually as well the the
• 47:32
  comedy fans, they tend to have used comedy as a way of getting
• 47:39
  out of something else. As in like when I was really
• 47:42
  down or when I had this addiction, I just became
• 47:45
  obsessed with comedy instead. But it's funny that comedy is
• 47:48
  not background stuff isn't like you don't get to music fans.
• 47:52
  I've always wished like the you could be like, because music
• 47:57
  fans are much more like you wear AT shirt with like your
• 48:00
  favourite band on or whatever. So comedy.
• 48:03
  I never see anyone walking down the street being like, oh, I
• 48:06
  need to get a, you know, a Kevin Hart T-shirt.
• 48:09
  I know the merch just doesn't transfer as easily.
• 48:12
  Yeah. Do you have Fuck?
• 48:14
  Do you have? Do you have any merch?
• 48:17
  No, I don't really. One quick.
• 48:23
  Taste better? Glasgow Is there any certain
• 48:37
  moment though? Because you've pretty much
• 48:39
  arrived as a comedian? I mean, in terms of touring,
• 48:45
  you're getting audiences. People know your name.
• 48:48
  Oh dude, you know what's funny? No matter.
• 48:51
  No matter what you get to you, you always think I'm not doing
• 48:55
  that great. But was there a moment, though,
• 48:57
  when you're kind of doing it daily and stuff where you go,
• 49:03
  I've hit, you know, a level? Not done it and not in I.
• 49:11
  Cracked the code. No, not in that kind of,
• 49:13
  definitely not that kind of tone.
• 49:15
  It was much more like. Broke the bank.
• 49:18
  Oh yeah, and the no, you know what?
• 49:22
  It was the moment I know that I've achieved what I'd wanted to
• 49:25
  achieve. At the beginning was when I did
• 49:30
  live with the Apollo, it was always my aim to do live with
• 49:32
  Apollo and then when I did it I was like.
• 49:37
  Oh shit yourself. I can just not have to do it
• 49:39
  anymore. Yeah, I don't have to do any of
• 49:41
  this anymore. And ended up working behind the
• 49:43
  counter at, you know, top secret comedy club.
• 49:46
  Yeah. So I ended up just turning up
• 49:48
  the. I think I lost my fucking mind
• 49:49
  that day. I just turned up and I was even
• 49:52
  booked for the gig. And I just, I just stood behind
• 49:54
  the counter and started like helping people with tickets and
• 49:57
  Shelly that you were. Delirious.
• 49:59
  Yeah, I just, it's like a week after, like, Apollo gone out and
• 50:03
  I just thought I could just walk behind the bar.
• 50:06
  I could be that weirdo like that you see going like, oh, that's
• 50:10
  Larry. He works here for free.
• 50:12
  He went mad after he was on TV. Because that was such a big goal
• 50:16
  for you. Yeah, and then after that I just
• 50:18
  kind of, I could have was a bit lost of what the next goal
• 50:23
  should be. Funny though as well.
• 50:25
  You know, goals when you get. I was gonna say when you get
• 50:29
  older. I hate that when you get older.
• 50:31
  When you get older. And your goals keep moving along
• 50:36
  with it. And I think as soon as you stop
• 50:37
  having, as soon as you stop having the goals, then you just
• 50:41
  kind of. Yeah, there's a new one, but I
• 50:43
  was, yeah. You can go about fucking.
• 50:45
  I think I've seen quite a few comics that stop having goals
• 50:49
  and they just kind of go along and that's when they lose our
• 50:52
  creativity and that and they just end up basically just going
• 50:55
  around the country packing up cheques or like picking up.
• 51:01
  Knocking on doors. Yeah, but I can do that.
• 51:05
  Maybe I'm just going to call it in from now on.
• 51:07
  But then, but then you see a lot of older comics, they do write a
• 51:12
  new set every single year and you go, ah, you've still got.
• 51:14
  It. Yeah, yeah.
• 51:15
  Good. Well, then you ask, what are you
• 51:18
  doing with the old stuff? Are you selling?
• 51:20
  Yeah, can. Are you selling it?
• 51:22
  That's how it works to see the comedy economy.
• 51:25
  Now, Larry, there is, I don't know if you've seen this, but we
• 51:28
  have a section called Fill in the blank.
• 51:32
  OK, I give you a sentence and you have to fill in the blank.
• 51:35
  You don't have to be funny. OK, right, that means I have to
• 51:39
  be. Fun.
• 51:40
  You have to be funny. No, no, these are just thoughts.
• 51:44
  Is. That a psychological test maybe.
• 51:46
  Is that like the what's that psychological test like Nikki
• 51:49
  and Boba? What's that?
• 51:50
  Oh, the the one where they do at the the Neighbourhood Playhouse
• 51:55
  Theatre the is. It not like the one of them is
• 51:58
  like a star kind of thing and the other one's a BLOB.
• 52:00
  Yeah, no, I'm not going to do that.
• 52:02
  No, OK. My favourite word today is
• 52:05
  blank. Belch I've not I've not heard
• 52:10
  that since I was like read the Beano.
• 52:13
  Belch. Yeah, yeah.
• 52:15
  Is it BOP? Belch, it's good.
• 52:17
  Yeah. Blank makes me break into a cold
• 52:21
  sweat. I don't know, I don't think I've
• 52:29
  ever had a cool sweat apart from when I've got a fever.
• 52:31
  OK, but it's a turn of phrase in it as an expression.
• 52:34
  Yeah, it's basically something makes me nervous or scared or.
• 52:39
  Oh what makes me nervous or scared?
• 52:41
  Oh, so like spiders and ghosts? Oh, OK.
• 52:48
  Dark comedy and. Ghosts, spiders.
• 52:52
  I like it's. Callback Callback for the comedy
• 52:55
  fans. If the police knew everything
• 52:58
  about me, they would arrest me for blank.
• 53:03
  The reason why I left Glasgow? Really.
• 53:06
  Yeah, I think it's been long enough now though that I
• 53:09
  wouldn't get in trouble for it. OK, good.
• 53:10
  Statute of limitations. I don't think they have that in
• 53:13
  the UK, but I think I think they'd probably be like, you
• 53:17
  know, oh, but you know what? I did talk about it on stage and
• 53:20
  the lady that a lady in the audience who worked at the
• 53:24
  establishment that I was a code committed the crime with when?
• 53:29
  Oh, I'm from the Birmingham version of that store and she
• 53:34
  says we all had to change our system and the entire system of
• 53:39
  this company had to change because of what you guys did.
• 53:42
  You're off? Yeah.
• 53:43
  Did you find a loophole or something?
• 53:45
  Yeah, yeah. Shit, it was like it was like
• 53:48
  Ocean's 11. God damn it.
• 53:50
  And you all met at a fountain afterwards.
• 53:53
  Yeah, yeah. That's.
• 53:55
  Great, we all just high fives then we freeze from freeze frame
• 53:58
  at the top. And you had a gymnast in the
• 54:02
  group. Yeah, yeah.
• 54:05
  Oh my God, wow, you're going to have to write about this later.
• 54:09
  You know what? I wasn't.
• 54:11
  I always like to think of when you do it, you feel like one of
• 54:14
  the Goodfellas. You feel like, oh, like I'm such
• 54:16
  a gangster. But looking back, I'm like, oh,
• 54:19
  no, I was just the only guy that could drive.
• 54:22
  OK, Yeah. So I was even as my fucking, as
• 54:25
  a comedy career and as a criminal, I was the driver.
• 54:30
  This is wild. I watch Blank every Christmas.
• 54:35
  Muppets Christmas Carol. Really.
• 54:37
  Yeah. Wow.
• 54:39
  You know it's funny, one of my favourite ever films was
• 54:41
  Gremlins and I love Gremlins but I don't.
• 54:44
  Even though Gremlins is set at Christmas, I don't watch it for
• 54:48
  a Christmas film. I always watch Muppets Christmas
• 54:50
  Carol for Christmas. Film nice is.
• 54:52
  That one of your favourite film? I've watched it, I I got to
• 54:56
  start doing it every year. What do you watch every year?
• 55:00
  Elf. Elf, you know it's fine.
• 55:02
  I've never even seen elf. Oh.
• 55:04
  Oh man, watch out, they might be a sponsor.
• 55:13
  I'm stuck on a desert island. This is the last question.
• 55:17
  I'm stuck on a desert island with only one Tom Hanks movie.
• 55:21
  It's got to be blank. Forrest Gump.
• 55:25
  Really. Yeah.
• 55:28
  I thought you were going to say other movies.
• 55:31
  Like Toy Story came into my head.
• 55:34
  I thought maybe Toy Story. Good movie.
• 55:36
  Oh I love Tom Hanks, I adore him, but Forrest Gump because it
• 55:41
  is like 8 different movies in one.
• 55:44
  So I think that covers more bases, but also I don't know
• 55:49
  there's so we've got Toy Story will be an option.
• 55:53
  Splash No. What's the What's that one of?
• 55:59
  It's the the The Met online, that romantic comedy.
• 56:04
  Sleepless in Seattle. Well, there's that one.
• 56:06
  Yeah, I forgot about that one. You've got mail.
• 56:08
  You've got mail. That's the one you've got.
• 56:11
  Catch me if you can. Yeah.
• 56:12
  Saving Private Ryan, Captain Phillips.
• 56:17
  Terminal Man. Terminal.
• 56:19
  That wasn't. That great?
• 56:21
  I've not seen that. It wasn't really.
• 56:23
  It didn't look good. You wouldn't like it.
• 56:26
  Toy Story 2 3 twice Three Yeah 3/4.
• 56:31
  Apollo 11. Apollo 1313.
• 56:35
  Yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna stick with
• 56:39
  Forrest Gump. OK?
• 56:40
  Yeah, but when would you pick? I would probably pick God.
• 56:45
  I do like Catch Me if You Can. Philadelphia.
• 56:50
  Philadelphia I like on a desert island though that would be a
• 56:54
  downer all the time to watch. I know, but at least you go.
• 56:58
  He looks hungry as well. Use that.
• 57:03
  Or castaway, obviously. Castaway, but then you'd.
• 57:07
  Probably be like, well this fucker's doing better than I am
• 57:09
  on this. Island at least got a ball.
• 57:12
  I don't have a fucking ball. Oh, actually, then what?
• 57:15
  What DVD cover? What DVD cover of a Tom Hanks
• 57:19
  film do you think you could talk to and be friends with?
• 57:23
  That's more of the question. Because, you know, you never
• 57:25
  said about having a DVD player on this the desert island, so
• 57:28
  it's not really going to work. So you have to basically pick
• 57:30
  your favourite artwork of the Tom Hanks.
• 57:33
  Damn, it boiled. I know I would do I get the I'd
• 57:37
  get the Toy Story cover when it's got all of them on it and
• 57:41
  I'd a Rep really specific because I don't have any
• 57:44
  scissors because I'm on a desert island and then have all the
• 57:46
  characters and it means that each of them could be my
• 57:49
  friends. No, while I'm on a desert island
• 57:51
  and it means I don't get because the the sad, the saddest bit of
• 57:55
  castaway is the fact that he had one friend that bowl.
• 58:00
  And not many. Yeah, I could have a loads of
• 58:02
  friends. I could have a dinosaur as a.
• 58:03
  Friend. And that my friend, is the
• 58:05
  correct answer. You did it, yes.
• 58:09
  It's plug time though if you want to plug anything.
• 58:21
  No, I don't need to plug anything.
• 58:22
  No, no gigs, all right. No, I don't.
• 58:26
  Just find me on social media on that, all right?
• 58:29
  If you're on a plane and you see there's something I'm in on the
• 58:33
  plane, watch it because I might be there.
• 58:36
  You might be, you might be in the toilet.
• 58:39
  Thanks Sir, I appreciate it. Yeah, geez.
• 58:42
  Live here though. Yeah.
• 58:43
  OK, So what do you like this? Do you sleep sat at that chair?
• 58:48
  Yeah, I'd sleep under here. I just do loads of shit here.
• 58:54
  Larry Dean, everybody. He really was from Glasgow.
• 58:58
  Now listen, if you want to subscribe, press the button
• 59:01
  below. You know how to do it if you
• 59:05
  have fingers. If not, I'm sorry if I offended
• 59:10
  you, but sorry, I'm starting to freak out.
• 59:15
  I'm going to get calls. Sorry
• 59:33
  rich vultures talk box.