Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 125. She planned her whole career but becoming a mom changed everything with Tianna Mamalick

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125. She planned her whole career but becoming a mom changed everything with Tianna Mamalick · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

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This is all figured out. I'm Andrea Barr.
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I'm a career coach for parents, a mom of two, and I absolutely
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believe that you can continue to grow personally and
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professionally while protecting family time.
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We're about to figure out this work, life and parenting stuff
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out together. Tianna Mamluk, thank you for
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coming on the All Figured Out podcast.
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It's so great to have you. Here, thank you for having.
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Me. You're like anticipation.
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What am I supposed to? Do I know what do I do next?
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I was so happy you agreed and were willing to come on.
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I you have such a beautiful story and I really can't wait to
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share the story with you just to be a a mere question asker in
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the sharing of your story. Take us back.
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I'm pretty sure when you were born, search engine
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optimization, which is a very big part of your job now, was
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not even a thing. Actually non-existent, nowhere
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to be found. So how on earth did you get into
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the world that you were sitting in today in your career?
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It's so funny because my parents are actually IT techs.
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Well, that makes sense. Yeah, I was the black sheep of
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my family. I was the least tech savvy
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person. They used to make fun of me
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because I couldn't fix the computer.
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Couldn't open up a computer. I couldn't do anything if it was
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electronics, I it was like I would break it every single time
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I touched it. And they were all like you can't
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do you know anything with tag and here I am so.
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Come on. Yeah.
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Oh my gosh. OK, So that was prevalent, like
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from young, young. We're talking like the big PC's
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old school Max like. My family had cameras in our
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house before people knew cameras could be in your house.
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It was nuts. The what were they called?
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Like Webex or something like it was like this was like before
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the like early, early 2000s, if that.
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And we had a computer in our house.
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Other people didn't even have one yet.
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We were always very tech savvy. That's so cool.
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What was it like to grow up in a house where there like you were
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kind of on like the cutting edge almost?
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My friends say this is elementary school, we're
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talking. My friends used to come over and
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my parents could actually talk to us through the, oh, it's
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called X10, that's what it was called.
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And they could talk to us through the X10 system.
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So my my friends would be sitting in the living room with
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me and they'd be like, hello. And it would like come from the
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top camera. And no one knew what was
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happening, right? You're talking about like
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intern, like surveillance cameras.
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I thought you meant like a camcorder.
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I was like, I mean, we had that, no.
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Legit surveillance cameras in elementary school when people
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didn't even have these yet. No, we were so techie.
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My family was like, pretty hard. We're not talking like Ring
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cameras. Here, well, they were kind of
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like the old fashioned Ring cameras.
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Yeah, but like in the house. Oh, no.
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Well, I keep thinking that, like, thank goodness, like all
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the security footage wasn't a thing, but you had that.
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Oh, yeah. You were on high surveillance
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always. I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry to hear that. It was so well, but back then
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you didn't have social media, so people weren't posting it
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somewhere, which is nice because you didn't have that like, fear
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of like, Oh my God, someone's gonna post my weird moment on
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Instagram. I love those.
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I love those reels where it's like the person doing the weird
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thing at the doorbell. Anyways, I digress.
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OK, So you were working for software company.
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Yes. And you made a pivot into
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agency. What kind of agency was this
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that you were working? At so I went to general
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marketing agency. I used to be a lead Gen. manager
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for an employee management software company.
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Loved it, but it was definitely Vancouver.
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I lived in Langley, 2 1/2 hours. The drive just was miserable.
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I don't care how much you like your job, 2 1/2 hours there, 2
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1/2 hours back is just miserable.
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So I started working for an agency that was a lot closer and
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I could do more of what I liked. What I found in house the the
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problem was always that they just moved so slow and not on
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purpose. You have to get stuff approved
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with a lot of different people and I like to move really fast
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and I found I just every job I had, especially those big tech
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jobs were just so boring for me because they were moving so
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slow. So the agency was, you know,
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very fast-paced and everyone was kind of like moving really good,
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and you get to work on a lot of different stuff.
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So yeah, lots of experience there.
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Yes. And did you ever work with your
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parents? No, but when I first started my
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company, my mom actually got a proposal for her company.
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So. Wait, wait, wait.
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What do you mean? So she is a manager for an IT
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tech company and they got a proposal for SEO.
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I didn't actually work with them, we never end up working
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together, but I did do a proposal for her.
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So sweet kind of fun. So fun.
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And so if we continue to Fast forward this journey.
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So you were like, OK, I know what I like, what I don't like.
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You move into market, the marketing world, and then you
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have a child, Eli. Yes.
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So how did that journey go being from a working professional
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being like, OK, I've like figured this out, Like, oh, I
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like this now. I like the agency side.
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And then motherhood hits you. What was that transition like
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for you? That changes you so fast, as you
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know. So it was like A180I agency
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world it it's fast-paced, it's hard, it's long hours.
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So you usually do like billable hours, which means if you're
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doing an 8 hour day, you could be doing a 10 or 12 hour day.
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If you're not good with your time, if you're really good with
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your time, you're still not doing an 8 hour day.
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Yeah, it's crazy. And once I had him, I realized
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that I couldn't do that anymore. There was no way even close to
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home that I could eat, that I could manage that type of job.
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The fast-paced I, I would come home and he'd have nothing left
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of me. So while I was on mat leave, I
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was like, OK, well we're not going back to that.
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But now we got to figure out what to do next because I can't
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sit still. It's not a sin option for me.
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Were you someone who wanted like was always like, I will start a
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business one day I will be an entrepreneur?
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Or was that like a bit of a reckoning for you to be like,
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shit, I can't go back there? I never thought I'd be an
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entrepreneur. That was not an original plan.
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I wanted to be the tech career girly.
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I went to all of the conferences and I was like, I'm one day
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going to be on that stage. I'm going to be talking as like
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one of their like marketing executives.
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Like that was always the goal for me until I realized that
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there were more important things.
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Whoa, how did you so you made that decision?
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Was that exciting? If you were, when you were like,
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hey, I can't go back there. Was there other options that you
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were entertaining? Like walk me through how you
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made this decision. Yeah, so I, I had a few big jobs
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that had contacted me while I was on mat leave and I did
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interview for them and I was like, OK, maybe I could go back.
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I had a child shortly after 2020.
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So we were still, you know, in the throes of it.
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So he is a COVID baby. And I, because jobs had gotten
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better at doing work from home. I was like, well, maybe I could
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still do that big marketing job and be like an executive, but
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just do it from home. I'd have more time.
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Um, but even then, just the amount of times that kids have
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protein days or don't go to school, He was getting sick all
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the time at daycare and I was kind of getting near the end of
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I took a longer mat leave and when I got to the end, I was
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like, he's getting sick like once a week.
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What am I supposed to do if I get this big girl job and I have
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to try and work while he's home like that?
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He's just not going to work. Yeah, it's going to be so hard.
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And then I also kind of paralleled a little bit.
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So while I was on Matt, I'm not going to sitting still.
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That's not my life or vibe. So I was working as a freelancer
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and doing some smaller projects, and once I started doing those,
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I realized how much experience I actually had and that helped
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snowball my whole decision. Gave you the confidence to be
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like, I have a marketable skill. There's something here.
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But what I like about this is like that minimum viable
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product, that little test, because that's a huge, it's a
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huge piece of it. And I think people are more, I'm
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having more conversations on the podcast too, especially where
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people are like entrepreneurship isn't for everybody.
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Now, granted, there are some jobs that are kind of hard to
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test, I guess, but it is so important to be like, do I like
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this? Can I get a bit of confidence
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like I imagined? Did that give you the confidence
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to be like, OK, like a this is kind of I'm enjoying this be I
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can get paid for this. Cool.
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Like how did that feel? It was prior to that, I don't
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think I felt confident do I just didn't feel confident offering
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it, which is so funny because I was doing all of the things.
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I was doing the big strategies for the agency and then someone
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else would sell it as their strategy or as like, this was
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the brand strategy and I was doing all the background work.
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So. But in my head, I was like, Oh
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no, you're just, you're not an entrepreneur.
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And it's interesting because I do think some people do really
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well and some people don't because it is hardcore, but a
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different kind of hardcore. It's a mental game whole man All
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mental. I actually think it's over 80%
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mental. The game, yeah, because you
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always feel like you're going to fail.
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I feel like that's just like any entrepreneur that I talked to,
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they're like, Oh yeah, this could all be taken from me
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tomorrow. But then at the same time, and
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we know this in our heads, it's like, well, your job could be
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taken from you tomorrow too. So.
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But when you have to like, provide for yourself and you
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have to put like, food on the table for your employees now it
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gets so much harder because then you're like, well, if I do
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something wrong, I am the reason it's not successful.
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It's not like someone else made the decision for me.
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Totally. You can't hide.
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You actually cannot hide. And entrepreneurship, There's
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nobody to finger point. There's no oh, I have a terrible
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boss. I say it all the time, I am the
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worst boss I've ever. Had.
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Hands down. I'm not delusional in that.
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I'm like that. I was going to call out a name.
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I'm not going to call her name out.
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There is, man. There was the spots I had years
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and years ago when I was in an agency, marketing agency and I'm
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worse than her. I'm way worse than her.
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I'm so much meaner. I'm verbally meaner to myself
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internally since becoming an entrepreneur.
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So it is there is there is something there, but you gain
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that, you gain that confidence. That confidence was huge and I
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think trying something out is important to you because there
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could have. There was a very good chance
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that I hated having to go find work for myself and then going
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back to the agency would be the right thing because then someone
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else is getting the work and I just have to sit there and do
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the tasks. Which is so important to talk
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about that that is a noble work. Like that is noble work.
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Even if you know you're doing, you're selling a widget that
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you're like about if you can provide for your family and
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you're going and doing a job and it's actually providing you the
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mental space outside of work. We always use like the
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government example, the government worker who clocks in,
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clocks out like is not allowed to work past five or whatever.
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It's an extreme example, but it's so important to like to
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honor and, and like lift those people up.
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Like, I'm such a proponent of the person who wants to go back
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to work. If anything, I'm like as a
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career coach, kind of selling the like, Are you sure about the
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entrepreneurship? Like there needs to be way more
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plans in place. Yes.
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To go that path. My husband, he actually so he is
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a clocking clock out. He loves his job.
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He would never do anything else. We need those people.
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Loves his job. He would like, I've asked him a
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few times like if there was anything you could do, what it
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would be and he'd be like, well, a different version of this.
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Exactly. I love him and he loves that he
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leaves it. He's so happy to go to work and
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come home and not have to worry about it.
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And sometimes he looks at me when I'm having my mental
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breakdowns and he's like, what are you doing to yourself?
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OK, OK, We need to talk about your husband's work because I
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think it's it's so important to represent different makeups of
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families and how everything works.
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So explain to us what your husband does, what his schedule
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is like. It's it's crazy.
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Yeah, So he is blue collar. He is a longshoreman.
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He works on the docks and he drives a reach stacker.
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So they're like these giant machines that pull the cans off
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of boats and off of trains. Well, can.
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I can't. You know, the shipping
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containers? Yeah, like they're big chance
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Yeah OK, and he just he it's like a giant arm clothing and
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he's like it's like play video. He's got like a little joystick
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and he just video games for his entire.
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Shift, that's a big machine. Yes, I can imagine huge.
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Like how big are we talking? Like they'd be like building.
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Size like Oh my God. Huge machine, you know.
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What I tell my husband, actually all the time, like probably an
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annoying amount, is what I thought I say.
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Why has nobody made a documentary about the shipping
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industry? Do you say this too?
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So he's come home with some of the craziest stories.
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You're like, wait, they did what?
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Does he want to come on the podcast?
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Probably be so nervous. Oh my gosh.
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No, but is it not like it is the thing that makes our world go
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round, for better or for worse? However you feel about that, it
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provides us with a lot the shipping industry.
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And I don't know anybody that knows one thing.
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This is the most information I've ever gained from another
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human being about the shipping industry.
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This, this, whatever you just described.
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It's crazy. Yeah, So thank you.
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What's your husband's name? Nick.
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Nick, thank you so much for the work you do.
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It is important. It's going to learn.
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We recognize. This He never gets mentioned, so
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he's going. To mention that's an important
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job, all y'all Amazon people. I mean, I do an Amazon or two
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that it's important. Yeah.
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Like anyways, anyways, I digress.
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Wow OK so he plays video games and his hours are?
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He works graveyard so he is 1:00 AM and then he's usually home by
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9:00 AM. Wild.
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How does this work for your family?
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He usually sleeps during the day so he's like a 93010 o'clock
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fall asleep and then he wakes up at around 3 so he can go get our
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son. He gets like an hour with our
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son, we do dinner and then he does a nap before he goes back
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to work. Oh, he's a nap.
14:24
Yeah, so he usually does like a like a 9:30 to 11:30, but it
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depends on the day. His job is super cost.
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It's not complicated, but the way that their union works for
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like plugins is it gets so complicated.
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So some days he takes a nap because he needs to be there all
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night. And some days, you know.
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Oh yeah. Crazy different.
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So how does this work for you guys?
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Like when is your when are your weekend days together?
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So does he work on Sunday night? Yes.
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So the first of the week is usually Saturday, Saturday
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night, Sunday morning. My God, how confusing is this?
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So he. Always has Friday nights off.
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Those are like his like night off.
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Yeah. And then he'll work.
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He usually works through the weekend.
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So we actually just keep the same schedule because it's
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easier for him sleeping wise. And we know health wise it's
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better for him to keep it consistent sleeping schedule
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than it is to like get up and do stuff.
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So we just do it later in the afternoon on weekends.
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OK. So later afternoon or like is
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your family time? Yeah.
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And how does that work for you guys?
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It's, it's pretty easy most of the time, like you'd be at work
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during the week anyway. So the only time we really lose
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is in the morning on weekends, right?
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But then that gives me more time.
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I can do stuff with my son and that's like our time.
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So we go and get coffee or we do like fun stuff or I take them to
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birthday parties my husband probably wouldn't want to go to
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anyways. So makes it so easy.
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And then when can you see friends or like family
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gatherings? Like can he join?
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Yes, he can join for some of that stuff because he could come
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home and have a nap still. OK, Wow.
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And he'll drop his nap if if he if we have something going on.
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Yeah, it's so, it's so interesting.
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I love hearing, like, different ways that people make it work.
16:00
Yeah. How?
16:01
OK, amazing. Now we we must continue.
16:06
I could just ask about this longshoreman life for the rest
16:09
of our time, but if we were to continue on.
16:11
So when you were on maternity leave, I know that you were part
16:14
of writing a book. And I actually have a copy
16:18
because it wasn't. Was it in 2020-2021, 2021?
16:23
Because I had my. I wouldn't have been interested
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had I not been apparent. Yeah.
16:26
OK. And I entered an Instagram
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giveaway. Did you really?
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Pretty sure it was the first giveaway I ever won because I
16:34
knew Lisa Currier. OK, yeah, she was in the book
16:37
with me. She was in the book and I
16:39
remember being like, Oh my God, I won.
16:44
And I think I got a T-shirt or sweater something.
16:47
I got something. I gotta mom baby sweater.
16:48
I'm 100% sure that's. What she meant, yeah, maybe
16:51
that's what it was. And the book, yeah.
16:54
So you Fast forward, small world, you were in that book.
16:58
Can you explain what this book is?
17:00
Because it's different authors. Like I actually don't really
17:02
understand the origin. I don't know the origin of this
17:04
of this story. Yeah, so it's the Mom Babes
17:06
anthology. There's three books and moms get
17:09
to tell their story within the pages.
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So it's usually like 12 to 15 moms per book and you get like a
17:16
short story and they help you write through it.
17:18
And the reason I I was in it because my life, I'm a huge
17:22
reader. I love reading.
17:23
My goal this year was 52 books. I'm already at 65.
17:26
Like I love reading and I've always wanted to be an author.
17:30
It was like my life's goal to be an author.
17:33
I used to like write peoples book reports when I was in high
17:36
school and sell them and stuff like that like I love.
17:39
You hustler, entrepreneur. I secretly, I didn't know I was,
17:44
but secretly, illegally and totally illegally.
17:47
So we don't tell the principles or anything.
17:51
Yeah. So hey, wanted to be in this
17:53
book. I found it through a friend.
17:55
And she's like, you know, here's your chance to, you know, be an
17:58
author. And I was so excited.
17:59
So I joined. And they help you through the
18:02
whole thing. It was beautiful.
18:03
It was like a magical experience for sure.
18:05
Wow. So I'm picturing like chicken
18:07
soup. OK, I'm going to be honest, I
18:08
actually never read it because I had so many books going out on
18:11
the go and I had a newborn, so I'm sorry.
18:13
And we didn't know we were recording this until today,
18:16
which is like, so fun. And I don't even think you knew
18:18
that that was the book. Yeah, no, I didn't know that was
18:20
OK. So I'm going to go home and read
18:23
this but I picture like chicken soup for the teenage soul vibes.
18:26
Is it kind of like that? Where it's like but except it's
18:27
less stories. It's the one I would say it's
18:30
more like their motherhood story.
18:32
So one important fundamental moment in their motherhood
18:35
journey and they kind of write about that.
18:38
So there was a lot of, some were lost, some were happiness
18:42
somewhere like struggles with infertility.
18:44
It was they're all so different as stories and each person got
18:48
to write their own story. So it's just this really
18:51
beautiful way of like telling people stories and it's supposed
18:53
to. It's more on like connecting
18:56
with other moms and seeing that everybody kind of struggles with
18:59
the same thing. So incredibly beautiful.
19:02
So what was your story? What did you write?
19:04
About yeah. So I wrote about having a
19:07
difficult sibling. That was well, I there was more
19:10
to it than that, but I think in the grand scheme of things that
19:12
in my head, when you read the story, you'll probably actually
19:15
read it a little bit different. OK.
19:16
So I, I wanted to get my tubes tide.
19:19
I did not want a second child. I was very adamant about that.
19:22
And I wanted to make sure that it my choice was my choice.
19:25
So in the book I wrote about that.
19:27
And then I wrote it was because I had such a difficult situation
19:31
with my brother. So that was kind of like the
19:34
lead up to my story. Yeah.
19:36
And then the most crazy thing happened.
19:40
But the day before we were launching the book, actual day,
19:43
like 24 hours before the book was supposed to be launched, he
19:46
passed away. So, so sorry.
19:49
I never really shared about the book.
19:52
I never really. So there was my, you know, your
19:54
dreams, like author dreams gone. Cause I was like, I'm not going
19:58
to share about this book. And I mean, even my mom read it
20:00
and she's like, you're being a little like, you know, you're
20:02
really pulling a story out of there.
20:04
And I was like, but if that's how I feel, like I just couldn't
20:07
share it anymore. So I'm 175 of them at home.
20:10
I don't know what to do with. But here's all these by ordered
20:13
all these books because I was like, I'm going to give them to
20:15
all of my friends. Everybody's going to want to
20:17
book. Yeah.
20:18
And now I just got a box of them.
20:20
Yeah, I'm really sorry for your loss.
20:22
That must have been incredibly. Hard.
20:24
It was very hard. I'm getting better at talking
20:26
about it now. Much, much better now.
20:28
Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it helps make it easier.
20:33
Yeah, yeah. And what was the challenging, if
20:37
you're willing to share, what was the challenging part of your
20:40
relationship with a sibling? Because, and I say that because
20:43
I think that's a really real, it's like people talking about,
20:46
you know, the challenging relationship with a parent or in
20:50
law, like, you know, there could be challenging relationships.
20:53
So what was the story around your relationship with your?
20:55
Brother yeah, so he was my younger brother 2 years apart.
20:59
We often did not. We got along, but we always
21:02
fought. And then he struggled a lot with
21:05
mental health issues growing up. So when we we actually used to
21:08
live in Fornia, so we spent a lot of time in California and we
21:11
moved back to Canada. He just didn't integrate back
21:16
into everything so well once we moved and he started, you know,
21:20
hanging out the wrong people. He got into, I think he was into
21:23
substances before that, but he definitely got into some serious
21:26
substance issues when we moved here.
21:28
And he just never really caught his footing, especially with the
21:35
just the lack of schooling that he ended up having because he
21:38
dropped out when we got here. But he was a serial
21:42
entrepreneur, so he would always try.
21:44
He had this dream of having a like a car cleaning business.
21:49
He wanted it to be mobile. Our cleaning, he tried starting
21:52
it like he had different names. He did it multiple different
21:56
times, and he did well sometimes.
21:58
And then he'd kind of fall back into the same patterns and not
22:00
be able to answer phones and, you know, actually go and clean
22:04
people's cars, which is a problem when that's your job.
22:06
So yeah. Oh, wow.
22:08
And so the book, so it was just about, so you were talking about
22:11
just like that being part of the reason why you wanted one child.
22:17
It was the whole idea that sometimes because a lot of
22:21
parents and I do not negate anybody's decision to have as
22:25
many, you have as many kids as you want.
22:26
If you can afford them, if you want 100 children, like be my
22:30
guest, go for it. For me, it was we were always
22:33
fighting for attention. So the whole entire story was
22:36
really more about like, he always needed more help than I
22:40
did. And I hear a lot of parents say
22:42
this like, Oh, I don't worry about my, my eldest daughter,
22:45
She's good. She's got it.
22:46
And what you don't realize is like, just because she's got it
22:49
doesn't mean she doesn't need you.
22:51
So there was some of that where he just, he always got the
22:54
attention because he was always getting in trouble.
22:56
And when you get in trouble, you get more attention.
22:58
And he realized that and it kept and that was like right from
23:02
young age. So my story was more about the
23:05
whole idea that you don't have to have two.
23:07
And it's very interesting because when I tell people like,
23:09
Nope, I'm just one, a lot of the times they're like, Are you
23:12
sure? Are you sure?
23:14
And it's like, oh, I've been sure since I was little.
23:16
Like, Yup, I'm very sure. And I've always been very sure.
23:20
So I, I wanted to call it out just so people saw that side
23:24
too, because we always have this like, oh, well, my, my daughter
23:27
said they need a sibling. They have to have a sibling.
23:29
We've got to have two. They've got to be able to hang
23:31
out with each other. It's like, well, sometimes you
23:35
can't have just one and it's OK. Wow.
23:37
And is your relationship to having one child different now?
23:41
I'm imagine there's so much personal growth that's happened
23:44
over the last 2 1/2, No. How old?
23:46
How many years ago did you last? So your brother.
23:49
Passed My brother passed to about 2 1/2 years.
23:51
Ago has your Yeah. Has your relationship changed?
23:54
Is it that you were like, OK, I want one child and I don't feel
23:59
the need or the pressure to have to?
24:02
Or is it that you are like I really can't reconcile having a
24:06
second because of my relationship with my brother?
24:09
I think the original would have been can't reconcile.
24:12
And now I am so happy that I just made that choice.
24:17
And I knew, I knew in the back of my head that I just couldn't.
24:21
I think personally too, I would struggle with too.
24:24
I just think like the amount of effort I want to put into
24:27
growing a human. I just want it to be 1.
24:30
And I loved, we love traveling and I know that we'd travel less
24:33
if we had to. It's just an automatic like
24:35
you're like, do we have to do that, You know, extra trip.
24:38
And with him, with my son, like we've done so much trial.
24:41
He's better on a plane than my husband is like way better.
24:46
I think that's phenomenal. I love when things like this
24:49
naturally come up in a conversation on this podcast
24:52
because I'm so like your husband and working a graveyard shift
24:56
and just having different perspectives and dynamics.
24:58
Like the fact that you own this and you're willing to also thank
25:02
you for sharing. So honestly that you're like,
25:04
yeah, it might have been. I had a bit of beef with my
25:06
brother and like, OK, I don't want two kids.
25:09
But now you're like, no, no, this is just what we want.
25:11
You're allowed to want what you want without having to explain
25:15
it. It how tiring does it get?
25:18
Like you mentioned, like people being like, Are you sure?
25:21
Like how do you stay confident in that?
25:23
And like own how you share your point of view with grace,
25:28
because I know you would. Yeah, so I I know we talk about
25:32
it and people know like you probably shouldn't ask that
25:35
question. I couldn't imagine the people
25:36
who are like, I don't want any kids.
25:38
The amount of times that they probably get asked, Are you
25:41
sure? It's just exhausting.
25:42
And even if they are sure, you get asked that so many times.
25:45
After a while, you probably sit in your head and you're like,
25:47
but am I really sure? Torture.
25:49
Yeah. And we just keep like, Are you
25:52
sure? Are you sure?
25:53
And I think sometimes we should just be like, OK, that was
25:56
their, you know, we don't need the like, are you really sure?
26:01
Like, you don't need the extra 1.
26:02
But I find if I just say, Yep, I was sure.
26:06
And I don't give them room for anything, it makes it a lot
26:10
easier. We move on pretty quick.
26:12
So I think in the beginning I was a little bit more.
26:14
It's not that my answer would have changed.
26:16
It's that my ability to answer the question was softer.
26:19
And now my answer is very firm. I knew what I wanted.
26:23
And so people kind of just go, oh, OK, Yeah, that's it.
26:26
Yeah. They don't see a crack that they
26:29
could get into. They don't see you waver because
26:32
if you wavered, they'd be like, oh, there's my in.
26:34
Yeah, let's dig into this. Yeah.
26:36
But like, no, no. Isn't that, like such a metaphor
26:38
for life? When you, like, really show, not
26:41
to say that you should be vulnerable, but when you show,
26:43
like a lack of confidence in something, all of a sudden Susan
26:47
and her aunt come in and they start giving you advice.
26:49
And you're like, I didn't even want this advice.
26:51
But when you went out, this is speaking, you know, for a
26:53
friend. Like those moments where I've
26:56
felt a lack of confidence in something and I let that little
26:59
crack open and then the person starts giving me their
27:02
unsolicited advice. I'm like, I get mad and
27:04
triggered and I'm like, what's wrong with you?
27:06
I'm like, no, no, I wasn't standing firm in like, OK, might
27:10
not have this thing figured out, but I let it open to the wrong
27:13
person maybe and oh, that's annoying.
27:18
I think it's also to one of those things where you might
27:22
question yourself when people ask you enough times, because if
27:25
people are asking you that many times, percent it's like, why am
27:28
I missing something? It's like, well, maybe you are,
27:30
but you didn't want it. So you're not missing the thing
27:32
that you think you're missing. Like kids are, kids are hard.
27:37
That is a decision. You have to be like, I wanted
27:40
this. Otherwise you're you're going to
27:44
be angry guys because it takes a lot out of you. 100% the shoulds
27:48
are like they are just a plague in this world.
27:52
Like I should be doing this and that's why it's all over
27:55
Instagram. OK, it's all over Instagram
27:57
TikTok about like the shoulds and watch the shoulds, but it's
28:00
real. It's a real thing.
28:02
We need to be very careful with like what we're shooting, what
28:05
we're saying, like probably should have a second one.
28:07
Probably should give my my son a sibling.
28:10
Why, Yeah. Like if there's no conviction
28:13
there, no confidence around it, I'm sure things could be fine,
28:18
but is that how you want to bring a child into the world?
28:20
And sure, things happen. And, and sometimes that's just
28:23
how it goes, yeah. Totally.
28:25
But when we're talking about intentionality and decisions
28:28
like that's, yeah, there's there's so many metaphors in
28:32
there for life, isn't there? Now tell me about your brothers
28:38
entrepreneurism and how that really struck A chord with you
28:42
and some of the motivation it gave you to go and do your own
28:47
thing. Yeah, so as I said before, I
28:49
wasn't really planning on being an entrepreneur.
28:51
And he passed away and I was still kind of in this weird
28:54
middle ground where I was working some freelance jobs.
28:56
I had no idea what I wanted to do next.
28:58
I was in this like I did the 18 month Matt leave and I'm like,
29:02
OK, well, I got to kind of figure something out.
29:04
And I was starting to not panic, but I was like, OK, well what's
29:08
next? And as I was doing these
29:10
freelance jobs, I was like, oh, this could be a thing.
29:13
And so funny because my business actually, so I was like, I'm
29:18
going to start a little side business and see how it goes.
29:21
Christian would have done it. He would have, you know, started
29:23
the business. So let's see if we could do it.
29:25
I opened up the Instagram account and my old boss from the
29:30
old agency messaged me. He's like, I'm so glad you
29:33
finally did this. It took you so long.
29:35
Like I've been waiting for you to do this.
29:37
And he was super like awesome about it.
29:40
And then I had another mentor who came to me and she's like,
29:42
this is exactly what I expected you.
29:44
I was like, this is so reaffirming, like, thanks guys.
29:47
And I just started it truly as a side thing to start because I
29:51
was like, well, if I'm doing the freelancing, even if I find a
29:53
job, like I could keep freelancing and it got so big so
29:57
fast, I was like, well, this is my thing now.
29:58
Oh my goodness. And how has it been?
30:01
Was it everything that you expected of entrepreneurship?
30:05
It was a roller coaster. I don't think I was quite
30:09
expecting it and I'm kind of in The Who am I without it now
30:14
zone. So I got so invested and then my
30:18
poor son, who's only four now, didn't get as much me and the
30:23
whole point of the business in the 1st place was for him to get
30:25
more of me. So I'm kind of now that it's a
30:28
little bit more established and I feel good and everything's
30:31
kind of going the way I like. I'm, I'm known in certain
30:34
places, I'm comfortable and happy with it.
30:36
So it's really this like when people ask me like, who are you
30:42
outside of being a mom and being a business owner?
30:44
Now I'm kind of in that space, Who am I?
30:46
Because I don't always think I know anymore.
30:49
Who are you? Well, I'm still trying to figure
30:52
it out, but I'm definitely I am an author and and I am a huge
30:59
fan of reading. So my next big step is to launch
31:03
a new book just coming out in June of 2026.
31:09
Um, I am stoked. And it has nothing to do with my
31:13
family or my brother. Nobody else is in it.
31:16
It is not an anthology. It is my words from my brain and
31:21
it is something that had to come and I needed all of those other
31:25
pieces to feel comfortable to finally do this one.
31:29
And what other pieces are you talking about when you say?
31:31
That like everything that happens.
31:34
So going from if I was in corporate and someone tomorrow
31:38
was like, you're going to write a marketing book.
31:40
I like, you know, I'm not like you're totally like, what, why,
31:44
why would I even want to do that?
31:45
So I needed all those pieces. I needed to be in corporate to
31:49
learn all the things that I learned there.
31:51
I learned so much strategy. I had such big budgets.
31:53
I, you know, all of these pieces led me to figuring out what I
31:57
really wanted to do, which is helping small businesses.
31:59
I love what I like. I absolutely love what I do now.
32:02
And all of those, even the grief and going through all those
32:06
moments of sadness, you come out on the other end and you use
32:10
that to your advantage. Like there's only one way to
32:12
you. There's two ways to live.
32:13
You could be sad and let it eat you alive, or you can take it
32:17
and make something with it. It's so beautiful.
32:22
How did you get through the grief?
32:26
I grief is so weird that we're having this conversation, not
32:30
knowing last night that we'd be having this conversation.
32:32
I was thinking about grief, my own grief with a father who
32:37
passed when I was four, who I didn't really know and thinking
32:42
about my I don't know why I was thinking about my relationship
32:44
with grief and how what a weird thing it is to be grieving
32:47
somebody that you don't really know but have this connection.
32:50
Do you knew your brother in and out, for better or for worse?
32:55
You had a 2 year old at this point and we're kind of in the
33:00
flux of life in a really big transformative way.
33:04
How did you get through your grief?
33:06
How did you work with your grief to come out the other side?
33:10
Well, first, I would say part of like even for your grief, part
33:13
of it is the, the, the grief of the loss, the potential loss
33:18
that you had. So even if you don't know them,
33:20
it's also the fact that you can grieve over the lost years that
33:25
you didn't get to know them. So there's a huge piece to that.
33:28
I think that's a very, very important art, and you're
33:31
allowed to grieve over that. For me, I went all in on work
33:37
and that's how I wouldn't say I got through it really well.
33:41
In the beginning I acted like it didn't happen.
33:44
Now what I would also say is because I did that, I think my
33:49
company is more successful because I used all of the anger
33:53
and annoyance and the grief and the everything that I was
33:57
feeling and I went so all in on this business, which is crazy
34:01
because I'm an all in kind of person.
34:03
Like I'm a really 110 sort of person.
34:05
I'm a Gold Star. I know this about you.
34:07
Yeah, I am very like 100%, but I would have, I think in my, you
34:13
know, in my head been a little bit nervous to go all in.
34:16
So I would have still done the career.
34:18
It would have been a side project.
34:20
I wouldn't have gone as all in as I did, but because I had
34:24
these feelings and I needed somewhere for them to go.
34:27
I really do think I pushed so hard.
34:29
I worked so hard and now I'm seeing all these beautiful
34:32
things. And it's interesting because now
34:34
I'm starting to work on the healing portion of that.
34:39
So I think it took me a little while to get there and now I'm
34:43
finally starting to face the whole like, OK, he's not coming
34:46
back. And now you have to sit with
34:48
that a little bit, which is something like in the beginning
34:50
I was just like, I'm just not going to sit with that.
34:52
I'm just going to work harder and then I won't have to sit
34:54
with it. So.
34:56
I think there's a like a, the defence mechanism that's there
34:59
that you're speaking about is the most human natural
35:04
transferable like life experience too.
35:08
Like it's kind of like, I can relate it to postpartum having
35:11
felt grief myself and being postpartum, I'm like there,
35:14
there are some relation there. There's some days where you're
35:16
like, I just need to get through, like I just need to
35:19
move through this. And I've talked about all the
35:22
podcasts before and having a counselor and my husband is
35:25
going through a lot of health challenges and things were just
35:28
our life was in chaos. And and she was like, you're
35:31
allowed to just get through. Like you want to watch friends
35:34
to fall asleep. Stop listening to the people who
35:38
are preaching, like stop listening to the sleep experts
35:40
who are preaching like perfect sleep.
35:42
They're talking to the people who are at their baseline.
35:44
If you're not at your baseline, if you're grieving, if you're
35:47
postpartum, if your mental health is a challenge, like
35:50
we're recording this in November.
35:52
A lot of people are facing that, like sometimes you just have to
35:55
move through the different phases of whatever phase you're
35:59
in. It's like you're in a big
36:00
chapter, a big phase, say grief, like you're allowed to move
36:03
through different versions of that.
36:04
And so thank you for sharing that too, that you're like,
36:07
yeah, I couldn't face it for a couple of years.
36:10
That's a very human thing. Yes.
36:12
And I think a lot of people, no one likes explicitly tells us
36:15
like, you have to get over it right away.
36:17
But I do feel like we feel like we're supposed to move through
36:19
it faster because two years later people are like, oh,
36:21
you're still sad about that. And I know they don't say that,
36:24
but internally you feel like they're saying that.
36:26
And I think sometimes it's actually easier to get over it.
36:28
Like there are certain people that just need more time before
36:31
they can even face something like that.
36:33
And I also think, and social media has its beautiful places.
36:37
You can, you know, do all these amazing things, but it can also
36:40
be a giant dumpster fire. And it can make you feel that's
36:43
the like, you know, a few, quite a few years back, you didn't
36:47
have to worry about whether your sleep was perfect or not.
36:49
We weren't scrolling concerned about the fact that we were
36:52
watching friends at 2:00 AM. Nobody was telling us that.
36:56
So we didn't have to worry as much.
36:57
And I think that's part of why everybody has this, like more
37:01
anxieties and more like more of those feelings because now we're
37:04
scrolling. You do that one hour scroll
37:06
before bed and you're like, Oh my God, I'm not doing enough.
37:08
My business is not enough. My career is not big enough.
37:11
And that really is not the case. It's so true.
37:16
I feel like we miss out on the intuitive, the intuition.
37:19
It's like the conversation around motherhood and mothering.
37:22
Now we know so much about parenthood and our children, and
37:29
that is so freaking cool. But knowledge is also a little
37:32
bit dangerous. What's that super?
37:34
Is a Superman super? Super?
37:36
Something like with great power comes great responsibility.
37:39
Yes. Too much responsibility.
37:41
OK, Doctor Becky, I love you. Please come on the podcast and
37:48
like if my entire feed was the Doctor Beckies of the world like
37:51
that is that's too much like we lose out on that intuition and
37:55
not to say like listen to your it's good to have information.
37:58
Some of my best friends are like experts in parenting and you
38:03
gotta like listen to what you need.
38:05
Like 10 years ago when I I lost a friend when I was in
38:08
university and she passed away. And like, I remember falling
38:11
asleep too friends. And I wasn't feeling guilty
38:14
about that. I wasn't second guessing my
38:16
decisions around that. Like I was just like, this is
38:18
what I need to do to like move on through this.
38:21
I don't know, there's like something that we're just
38:23
missing. I feel like it's OK and we have
38:27
to be OK with curating our content a bit more.
38:29
Yeah, a lot of people and and you'll go through stages of I do
38:33
a lot of cleaning on my social media.
38:35
And I think it's more important more people do this where you'll
38:38
be in moments where maybe your kids not sleeping really well.
38:41
You want to follow all the sleep experts.
38:43
And I mean, I've met some really, really good ones.
38:46
And you're in it and you're there and you want to hear
38:48
these. But then when you're out of it,
38:50
it is OK. It is so OK for you to be like,
38:53
I'm not following these anymore. I'm done now.
38:55
I want puppies, kittens and happy little, you know, Unicorn
38:58
rainbows. And we have to be OK with the
39:01
different stages. Don't hold on to the content
39:04
that you were consuming when you needed it.
39:07
We have to curate it out so we don't feel later, like, Oh well,
39:10
maybe now my toddler is not sleeping right.
39:12
Maybe I'm wrong. Like if you feel like it's
39:14
right, it's right. Yes, and until it's not right
39:18
then fix then go back to the drawing board, go free, follow
39:21
them. They don't notice whatever and
39:23
and make decisions from there. Now I want to ask, how do you
39:28
introduce yourself now? So you said that you, you know,
39:31
there's been an evolution and so you're reintroducing yourself as
39:35
like Tiana, you are an author. Now we're going to get into
39:37
that. But tell me about the business
39:39
side of you and like, how do you, how do you explain what you
39:42
do? I don't even think we've talked
39:43
about that yet. I don't think we have no.
39:45
So what do you do? I call myself a like a digital
39:48
strategist. That's my current title.
39:51
I do find it hard to place the title on what I do, but I have
39:54
been moving towards like lead Gen. so generating leads for
39:58
small businesses and I really like focusing there.
40:01
Essentially I specialize in search, search marketing, so
40:04
Google, Bing, all the good stuff.
40:06
Add. Bing people use Bing?
40:08
I feel like I see that sometimes.
40:10
Is that a thing? Yeah, people use Bing not as
40:12
much. I'm gonna bring that instead of
40:14
I'm into Google, I'm gonna bring.
40:15
That well that's why no one uses it.
40:19
Nobody's dirty, but chat should be.
40:21
T sits on top of Bing, so Bing gets used a lot more than
40:24
people. Think wait wait wait did
40:26
originally he goes to Bing. Yeah, it originally pulled from
40:29
Bing. I'm pretty sure it still does.
40:31
Yeah, hot tit I. Know that's a tip, but
40:33
interesting factoid. Yeah.
40:35
So search marketing is my specialty and I like to
40:40
introduce myself as a digital strategist, but I'm working on
40:44
introducing myself in different ways because I also got went
40:48
through a long time where I would even be with friends.
40:51
Nobody cared about my business and whatever group was in at
40:53
this current time, rude. And I would be like, I am a
40:57
digital strategist and I own a marketing agency.
40:59
And they'd be like, cool, wrong room.
41:03
Yeah, wrong room. So what do I do in this room?
41:05
Yeah, because I didn't. And if people asked me like
41:07
hobby wise, I'd be like, I don't know.
41:10
I don't know anyone. I'm a I'm a mom and I own a
41:12
business. Like, I don't have hobbies.
41:14
This is not a it's not a time in life where you have hobbies.
41:18
We. Could dig into that another day,
41:19
but. OK, yes, I'm working on it.
41:22
So this is the time of my life where I introduce myself and I
41:28
test different things. I love that.
41:31
Yes. OK, so to the all figured out
41:33
audience, how would you introduce yourself?
41:38
I am Tiana, a toddler mom and an author, and I really like
41:43
understanding how the Internet works.
41:46
Oh my gosh, I did not even prep her for this.
41:49
Everybody, wow, you're saying something so important here
41:54
about reading the room. I am obsessed with this concept.
42:00
Emotional intelligence 101. If you've ever taken a psych
42:02
course, if you've ever scrolled on like TikTok, psych, whatever,
42:06
it's everywhere, right? And it's like, I think it is so
42:09
important in any situation. Doesn't matter what you do, who
42:11
you are to, to really think about how you read the room like
42:16
you're gonna introduce yourself. And then afterwards you're like,
42:18
oh, we've all done this. I've done this so many times.
42:21
You have that hangover and you're like, Oh my God, why was
42:24
I telling them about my dog that died when I was 5?
42:27
Like you just asked me what my name was or like what I do for
42:31
work and then I just, you know, you spiral.
42:32
My God, it's the worst when that happens.
42:34
It's like what's interesting to the person across from me here,
42:39
what might, it's not about me. It's not about like nobody likes
42:42
that person. It was like, oh, look at me,
42:45
look at me, or look what I can do.
42:46
You should have confidence, but it's like getting to know who's
42:49
in front, in front of you. So I love, I loved that answer.
42:52
Yeah, I started also the reading the room.
42:54
I love that too. And I think it was something
42:57
that I didn't notice before. And it's not, it's not that I
43:01
wasn't trying to. It's like, honestly, it was just
43:03
so invested in what I was trying to become that I was like, you
43:07
have to know me as this. And now that I'm kind of
43:10
figuring out, and I've had a lot of mentors who have helped me
43:13
through this, but it's The Walking into a room and
43:15
realizing, like, what can I do to help this group of people?
43:19
Yeah. So for that specific one, how am
43:22
I introducing myself? How can I support them?
43:24
Like, if it's just being a mom and helping with advice, then
43:26
that's what that is in that room.
43:28
And it's it took me awhile to get here, but that's OK.
43:32
Yes, because that's building a relationship.
43:34
If you say I'm an SEO search engine optimization expert, I'm
43:37
not on and you're going crazy on like whatever things that most
43:40
people don't know about their ears turned off and they're
43:43
like, OK, yeah. And you kind of lose that
43:46
connection point. Like there's nothing.
43:48
If you know that you're in a mother's group, you can be like,
43:50
I'm, you know, I'm a mom of 1. You know, I like doing the still
43:55
share other things about yourself.
43:56
You shouldn't just be like monosyllable like with like
43:59
that. This is all I do.
44:00
But but, yeah, I like, like, love that build that bridge.
44:05
Yep. This is good.
44:07
This is good. Now you are finally writing your
44:11
own book. You are an author.
44:13
Even though you have the 175 copies of your book in your
44:16
house that you haven't given away.
44:18
I have one in my house. Tell me about this book.
44:22
What you said to me. I think on the podcast, but
44:25
beforehand too, you said I had to write this.
44:28
Yes. Where did that come?
44:30
From well, OK, so I have to write this one because I wanted
44:35
a book that I could hold and be. I wasn't proud of the other one.
44:39
And I think there's also something to be said about like,
44:42
you can reach goals and you're allowed to redo them if they're
44:45
not what you wanted them to be. Say that again.
44:49
You it's OK to redo your goal if it's not what you want it to be.
44:54
That first book Will wasn't the like I am an author book that I
44:59
wanted. So when I got this opportunity,
45:01
I was like, 110% yes, that was a life goal.
45:05
I know I can say I'm an author, but I don't feel good saying it.
45:09
So I'm going to redo this goal and I'm going to make it better
45:13
and I'm going to make it exactly what I want it to be.
45:15
So that's that's exactly what I'm doing.
45:18
Hell yeah, girl. Yeah.
45:21
You are an author of something you're very proud of.
45:25
Yes. Tell me everything.
45:27
I don't know why I have no interest in this moment.
45:31
Writing a book, famous last words.
45:33
But I'm so interested in the behind the scenes.
45:36
How does it like you were so in the week, like you were a
45:40
business owner and you're also very much in the way you have a
45:43
very tangible tactical skill that you have.
45:46
How did this opportunity come up to write a book about that
45:49
thing? And how did you even pursue
45:52
this? Like give me all that I want
45:53
that weird dirty details about how this came to be.
45:57
Yeah, so I'm not going to lie about it.
45:58
I'm doing self-publishing. Megan.
46:01
What's her last name? Oh, sorry, I thought it was
46:04
self-publishing agency. No.
46:06
So I'm doing self publishing.com similar to them, yes.
46:09
And I went that route because they, and, and it's, it's kind
46:13
of a, I wanna own all of it. So, and I knew I wanted to own
46:17
all of it. I want to own the book.
46:18
I want to own the rights. Nobody gets anything in this
46:21
book but me. So it's my book.
46:23
And that was kind of like a hardcore piece for me.
46:25
But I did hire a whole team to help me with the book.
46:28
It is pretty intense. It's a lot.
46:31
And when you stop writing for a while, it gets really hard to
46:37
practice that muscle again. And I, we live in the AI world.
46:39
So they, everybody, there's like easier ways to write your book.
46:43
And my goal with this one is that all of those words are mine
46:46
though, even though I want to, I have been like actively not
46:50
using any of the AI platforms to help me with this.
46:53
Like, yeah, so it's taking not longer, but it's it's a it's a
46:57
project and it's hard, but it's and it is marketing book.
47:02
But I had to try to think of like, how do I make it more like
47:06
me and like what I want it to be?
47:08
So it's a marketing handbook for female entrepreneurs or female
47:13
founded companies who like romance novels.
47:18
So. Amazing, I know.
47:20
So it's spicy, it's direct, it still has all the things you
47:25
need. So like the needle movers and
47:27
those pieces that you need in your marketing, but it's not the
47:31
like quintessential like marketing book.
47:33
It's like your website is compared to like how you need to
47:37
set the stage and like there's different pieces, but we're
47:40
looking at it in a different way and all of the it's me speaking
47:44
to you. OK, OK.
47:45
I was going to say, is it written like there's a
47:48
protagonist and like some like sexy man?
47:50
That's OK. No, it's me relating all of your
47:53
marketing do the things that we actually care about.
47:55
Cool. Wicked.
47:59
This is more unique. OK, where are you at in the
48:02
process? I'm about halfway.
48:03
OK. Yeah.
48:05
OK, and what, what does this team look like?
48:08
How do you find these people to help you write?
48:11
Like, I think what I find so interesting about this is it's
48:13
like somebody having a dream and then figuring out how the hell
48:16
do you make it happen? Like how did you, what was your
48:19
first step or how did you put this team together?
48:22
Yeah, so I went to a random conference in New York and I met
48:26
the self publishing.com and while I was there I talked to
48:30
them. I was like, this is amazing.
48:31
You sign up with them, they help you find a book coach, they help
48:35
you find a marketing specialist, they help you find the editors
48:39
like they, they, they support you through all of that.
48:41
So if you find the right group of people.
48:43
So I didn't do those thing what I did with my babies, but I
48:45
think I needed to like really separate from that.
48:50
So I found these guys and they're pretty much the same.
48:53
And so if you, if you want to write a book, it's not as far
48:56
away as you think. I feel like you would have some
48:58
pretty good little Nuggets to burn the.
49:00
Book. But it is a project, it is hard
49:04
and it takes a lot of your soul. I mean, you could just write a
49:07
book and be like, this is what I want to say.
49:09
But I find if you're really invested, yeah, I have a feeling
49:11
you would be. Yeah, it takes a lot from you
49:15
personally and that. So that's an important piece.
49:17
But like, if you want to do it, it's more accessible now than
49:20
it's ever been before, so. Incredible, and you can own it.
49:23
And I own you. Don't have to go back and do the
49:25
Taylor swifting. You don't have to go buy back
49:27
and do like a Tianna's version. And it'll still be on Amazon.
49:30
It's still going to be available worldwide.
49:32
It's still being sold the same way, like books are being
49:35
consumed differently now. So having access to be able to
49:38
set it up, they're going to help me with the Kindle version.
49:40
They're going to help me with the the voiceovers for the
49:44
actual book readings Like these are all pieces of the team that
49:48
we've built together and I'll still have all of those, but the
49:52
book is mine. My gosh, can I voice it?
49:54
That would be so epic. OK.
49:57
I've always wanted to voice over a book.
49:59
I don't know why I love that. Isn't that a weird goal?
50:02
I'm going to have to add 1 section for you where it's got
50:05
to be like the deep dark horse. I love doing.
50:08
Voices. That's awesome.
50:10
A bit very big theatre kid at. Heart.
50:13
I was in theatre too. I think I found I think I knew
50:16
this about you Tan on my back story for those listening is I
50:21
hurt. I don't even know how I learned
50:23
about you or maybe Instagram or through business babes
50:27
collective or formerly business babes collective, now Bloom
50:30
collective. But Tiana was such an amazing
50:34
person to work with. So I was like, OK, I could
50:36
really like tune up my SEO, my search engine optimization on my
50:39
website. Didn't really know what it
50:41
meant, but I was like, it seems like a good thing to do.
50:43
Works with Sienna. She's like, listen, there's this
50:45
grant that is unfortunately now closed where you get the grant
50:50
money, give it to me. I will provide all the services
50:53
to clean up your website, do your SEO.
50:55
I was like, well, this sounds great.
50:57
Like so smart, so genius, so like understanding what a small
51:01
business owner needs and wants. And I think I screenshotted it
51:05
for you recently that a current client of mine found me on
51:09
Chachi BT because of your work, which is so fun, man.
51:15
Like in the like, how did you hear about me?
51:17
When I saw that, I screamed and then screenshotted to you and
51:21
said your work is amazing. But now I know you have some
51:26
funnel stuff coming up and you talked about the marketing mix
51:29
in like a bigger way, not just SEO.
51:30
I know UST Anna SEO. I think that's what you are in
51:33
my phone. Oh my God, that was just so
51:37
happy. But I'm I love this.
51:41
I love that you're taking multiple passions that you have.
51:43
You say you don't have a hobby. Reading sounds like a huge hobby
51:46
if you've read 60 something books already.
51:48
This. Year I'm a huge romance novel
51:50
reader. So that's fun.
51:52
What should we be reading? If we're dipping our toes into
51:56
OK, we'll move past fourth wing. Yes.
51:59
I've read 4th wing. I did read a cord of roses and
52:02
thorns or whatever. And #2 what did you do #2 did
52:06
you read it? Yeah, it wasn't as good.
52:08
What? It was life changing for me,
52:11
like actual life change. If I could go back and read the
52:14
second book again. No, maybe I only read the first.
52:17
One you have, the first one sets the stage.
52:20
OK, OK, OK. For the second one and the
52:23
second one is like. Shoot.
52:26
It's crazy, you know, when you're reading something, have
52:28
you ever had that moment you're reading at 2:00 AM and all of a
52:30
sudden you're like, I need to talk to somebody right now #2 is
52:33
all of it. All of it #1 is just nice.
52:37
And the whole reason #1 is so good is because when you read #2
52:39
you're like, whoa, what did she just do to us?
52:42
Like, actually interesting. Oh, it's so good.
52:44
OK, what's another reco? One more reco.
52:47
One of my all time favorite books is Caraval.
52:50
I think it's all that for me. Stephanie Gerber, CRAVAL.
52:55
Oh, and it's like she gets into this deadly game and there's a
52:58
romance, but it's all about her finding herself.
53:01
It's kind of beautiful and but I've loved it since I was young.
53:05
So it's one of my like all time favorite books.
53:07
I've read it a few times over and over again.
53:09
And then one of my other favorites is Uglies, but they
53:12
made a movie of that recently and the movie butchered it.
53:14
Oh, the book is way better and it's a whole series and it's
53:18
like a sci-fi fantasy with a less romance, but still like a
53:22
really, really good book. Cool, highly recommend that one.
53:25
OK, great. Thank you.
53:28
OK, Tianna, what have we? What is missing from this
53:32
conversation? I'm like, there's so many
53:35
Nuggets, so much to pull. What else?
53:38
What else do we need to talk about?
53:40
Hmm, I feel like you. Well, we could sum it up in like
53:43
this beautiful, beautiful way. They're phrased it like that.
53:45
That was such a weird way of asking a question.
53:47
Can't keep. Going, I kind of love it,
53:48
though. It's OK.
53:49
I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with this and the like.
53:53
What do I want people to get out of this sort of vibe?
53:56
Yeah. I want people to know that even
54:00
if you have the saddest moment in your life, and I always like
54:05
to go back to the idea of you can be a victim or you can use
54:08
it to grow. And I really want people to
54:11
understand that like, even though you're going through
54:14
something so hard, one, give yourself time.
54:17
Don't let people tell you how it should be done.
54:19
And two, take it and grow with it.
54:22
Because if you just sit there and be a victim, it's you're
54:25
just going to be sad all the time.
54:27
Like you're going to be sad no matter what.
54:28
So you might as well be sad and do something about it, but give
54:31
yourself the space to do it first.
54:34
Let yourself move through it. Hmm, that is such beautiful,
54:38
sage advice. And I feel like unfortunately
54:40
only advice you can get from someone who's been in it, been
54:42
through it. And that's why we have to tell
54:45
stories like this because we don't, we don't want people
54:48
like, Oh, you're only going to know this if you go through a
54:50
tragedy. Like that's that's why stories
54:52
are so important. So I want to thank you so much
54:55
from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story, for honoring
54:58
your brother in this business and in coming and speaking about
55:01
him. What was something?
55:03
Tell me. I had a friend on Selena Sayani
55:05
who has a She has grief candles and tools, court tools.
55:09
She also lost her brother, um, number of years ago.
55:12
And she, I didn't ask you this earlier.
55:15
She said that it's so important for her in grief and what she's
55:19
heard from other people who've experienced grief to remember
55:22
the person to talk about them. So before we go, can you tell us
55:25
a bit about your brother? What was he?
55:26
Like, yeah, so his name was Christian.
55:29
He was. He's forever 29 years old.
55:32
He loved cars, like just loved crazy amounts of cars, like all
55:39
the fancy ones. We would be like walking down
55:41
the street. He be like, did you see that
55:42
really cool car? It was this like XYZ And we'd be
55:45
like, what? Like no one even saw it.
55:47
Fast cars, like, like he just was so crazy about them.
55:50
And he loved to try to be an entrepreneur because he always
55:53
loved the freedom of being able to do whatever he wanted to do.
55:57
And that was sort of things. He was very, very fond of
56:00
animals. He always loved it like dogs
56:02
where he was just always the best friends.
56:04
Like if you walked into a room, the first one he would kind of
56:07
go towards would be like the dog.
56:08
Everybody else be like, oh, and he'd be like a dog.
56:11
He left that we he was a very, very sweet kid.
56:16
And especially when he was younger, he was just so like,
56:19
I'm loud and he was so quiet. Yeah.
56:25
What do you think he would say to you right now and everything
56:27
you've built and done? Or what would he think?
56:29
Well, he was my little brother, so he probably wouldn't say
56:31
anything. That I was gonna say maybe you
56:34
wouldn't. It's also a boy.
56:35
Yeah, not anything I'd want to say on air, but he would say it
56:37
with love. He'd just be like, ah, there'd
56:42
be some sort words in there for sure.
56:43
Yeah, yeah. He'd probably be a little maybe
56:45
proud. Proud.
56:46
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. His version of proud would be
56:49
like you sucked at that. Props dude.
56:57
And Tiana, what is something that you would say you're trying
57:00
to figure out right now? I asked this to all my guests.
57:04
I think I'm going to go back to that.
57:05
I'm trying to figure out who I am without the business and
57:07
without being a mom. And I'm trying to figure out
57:10
what makes me happy, not what makes everybody else happy.
57:16
What makes me happy? And if if I may interject an add
57:20
in for maybe it's who I am as well as being a mom instead of
57:25
without. Yeah.
57:27
In addition, in addition, everything is in addition.
57:30
It's all beautiful, but who am I with all of that?
57:34
Excited to see your exploration. Congratulations on your upcoming
57:37
book. Thank you.
57:38
I can't wait to share it. Who knows when this will come
57:41
out, Maybe we'll time it, who knows.
57:43
Are we just start the hype? When do pre sales go on?
57:46
Oh gosh, I'm not ready for that yet.
57:48
OK, March, April, ish, I think. Yeah.
57:52
Do we have a title yet? I I do.
57:55
When are you sharing it? Is this it?
57:58
I mean, I can, I can tell you, I think it might change though.
58:01
So if you release the Senate changes, no one can get mad at
58:04
me. OK, fun, but my gosh.
58:06
Exclusive. Yes.
58:07
It's going to be called the Magic of Search Marketing.
58:11
Sweet. Yeah.
58:13
And I've got like a little, I've got a book cover ready, too.
58:15
I was. So I was like, I'm gonna draw
58:17
it. It's gonna be so adorable.
58:19
Yeah. Sweet.
58:21
I love it. I love it.
58:23
I mean, it's still a marketing book, but let's be real, we all
58:26
need to know how to market things, so it has to happen
58:28
anyways. I love it.
58:30
Congratulations and thank you for coming on.
58:32
Thanks for having me. This is great.