Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Vinny Thomas Disobeys Bridger
Transcript
- 0:08Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
- 0:17Speaker 1: When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come
- 0:22Speaker 1: to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own
- 0:28Speaker 1: presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff.
- 0:35Speaker 2: So how do you dare to surbey me? Welcome to
- 0:50Speaker 2: I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Winecker. I hope you're
- 0:54Speaker 2: doing fine. I hope you're not doing anything stupid of
- 0:59Speaker 2: you know, when you're less to this podcast, you're ultimately
- 1:01Speaker 2: an ambassador of the podcast, and I don't need you
- 1:03Speaker 2: embarrassing me. What else is going on? I'm having an
- 1:06Speaker 2: incredible morning, as you can just probably tell from my energy,
- 1:11Speaker 2: celebrating three weeks of having low windshield wiper fluid, and
- 1:18Speaker 2: that actually I was thinking earlier of when I was
- 1:21Speaker 2: alerted by my car. The car should tell you that
- 1:25Speaker 2: when you stop the car, rather than when you start
- 1:27Speaker 2: it and can't do anything about it. This is a
- 1:29Speaker 2: note to all car manufacturers. Have the warnings. Maybe they
- 1:34Speaker 2: can come on at the beginning cases the car is
- 1:36Speaker 2: going to blow up, but in the case of windshield
- 1:38Speaker 2: wiper fluid, I've forgotten it by the time I get home.
- 1:41Speaker 2: Do a nice loud beep when I pull up into
- 1:44Speaker 2: the driveway. Help me rather than just shame me every
- 1:47Speaker 2: time I start the car. I'm solving problems, I'm creating ideas,
- 1:52Speaker 2: I'm podcasting. I love it. Let's get into the show.
- 1:56Speaker 2: I just think today's guest is fantastic. It's been Thomas Vinnie.
- 2:00Speaker 2: Welcome dysond Oh.
- 2:01Speaker 3: My god, thank you so much for having me. I
- 2:03Speaker 3: do think maybe you're using too much fluid. In general,
- 2:07Speaker 3: I think you're using too much fluid. I barely use
- 2:09Speaker 3: the fluid.
- 2:09Speaker 2: You know. I'm constantly using the fluid. I mean, the
- 2:13Speaker 2: smallest bit of dust on the car blasting out.
- 2:15Speaker 3: I don't feel guilty every time I use the fluid.
- 2:17Speaker 3: I'm like, this is too much. Surely I don't need
- 2:19Speaker 3: the fluid. The fluid's not necessary. I can't just use
- 2:22Speaker 3: the wiperies. Yeah, I'm not fancy. I'm not fancy.
- 2:25Speaker 2: I don't even flu you've got is your car? How
- 2:27Speaker 2: often you get your car washed? Oh? Not enough?
- 2:31Speaker 3: You know, sometimes you see a really dirty car and
- 2:33Speaker 3: the feeling it conscious is the same feeling you see
- 2:35Speaker 3: you like when you've see an abused dog or something.
- 2:38Speaker 3: It's the same kind of Oh, no, he's not taking
- 2:40Speaker 3: care of it. And I'm sure people look at my
- 2:41Speaker 3: car and they feel that way.
- 2:42Speaker 2: Oh yeah, my car. I mean I'm on the same page.
- 2:45Speaker 2: I get it washed about I would say twice a year. Yeah,
- 2:48Speaker 2: And it's definitely giving an energy of a dog that
- 2:52Speaker 2: needs to be rescued, like first step rescue, not even
- 2:55Speaker 2: by the pound takes it and has to get the
- 2:59Speaker 2: fleas taken off. All of this. Oh okay, Yeah, it's
- 3:02Speaker 2: a tough situation. So I think that's I'm kind of
- 3:05Speaker 2: washing the car via windshield wipe or fluid.
- 3:08Speaker 3: Yeah, right on which do you go to like the
- 3:10Speaker 3: festival car wash where like festival you know the one
- 3:15Speaker 3: that's like an automatic festival. You take it through and
- 3:17Speaker 3: a bunch of little brushes hit your car and there's
- 3:19Speaker 3: like colorful slabs and stuff. Okay, I do it by hand,
- 3:22Speaker 3: one of those little places. You're kidding why, I don't know.
- 3:25Speaker 3: I just appreciate the old ways. There's something that feels
- 3:27Speaker 3: very like artisanal and classic about spraying to me.
- 3:31Speaker 2: The spraying it, the energy I get from that is
- 3:34Speaker 2: very I have just been somewhere like getting rid of
- 3:37Speaker 2: a body and destroying evidence that's so true.
- 3:41Speaker 3: I think the last time I did it, it was because
- 3:42Speaker 3: some man on the street through a like a bag
- 3:45Speaker 3: of orange liquid. He hurled a bag of orange liquid
- 3:49Speaker 3: I don't know what it is, just into the street
- 3:51Speaker 3: that it hit my car and burst all over the windshield.
- 3:54Speaker 3: And I was like, surely I can't keep driving this.
- 3:56Speaker 3: I don't know what this liquid is. God only knows
- 3:58Speaker 3: what it was. And so I was hosing that.
- 4:00Speaker 2: Did it leave like an orange residu on your car?
- 4:02Speaker 2: It was disgusting. There was high pulp orange juice. Oh
- 4:07Speaker 2: God forbid if there was pulp.
- 4:08Speaker 3: I didn't even looked as if there was pulp, that
- 4:10Speaker 3: would have been a whole different thing, because I don't
- 4:12Speaker 3: think it was orange juice.
- 4:12Speaker 2: It didn't smell citteressy. I wonder maybe windshield whiper fluid
- 4:16Speaker 2: is orange. I think it's either usually well, it's probably
- 4:19Speaker 2: usually green, but I can imagine an orange windshield whipeer fluid.
- 4:22Speaker 2: This is so gay guys shouldn't be allowed to talk
- 4:24Speaker 2: about cars. Let me just say that we should were
- 4:26Speaker 2: the only people who should be allowed to talk about
- 4:28Speaker 2: We're thinking of ideas. I've thought of a new beep
- 4:30Speaker 2: that the car can make I've thought of a new
- 4:32Speaker 2: color for windshield to hear the beep at the end
- 4:37Speaker 2: of the I pull up into my driveway, boo, I
- 4:40Speaker 2: think the vibrato is really it's really something. And then
- 4:44Speaker 2: I know to put in the windshield wiper flu Yeah,
- 4:47Speaker 2: it's a great idea rather than this harsh beep I
- 4:49Speaker 2: get at the beginning of the drive. That sets the
- 4:51Speaker 2: mood for my entire drive. I'm now worried about the
- 4:53Speaker 2: windshield wiper fluid and I'm forgetting about it. Gay men
- 4:57Speaker 2: should be running Carmen.
- 4:59Speaker 3: You find at that point the beep almost sounds like
- 5:01Speaker 3: a threat. It's like, I hope nothing happens. She's like, wow,
- 5:05Speaker 3: looks like you fucked up.
- 5:06Speaker 2: I hope nothing happens. It really is kind of a
- 5:08Speaker 2: passive aggressive thing. Yeah, well, good for you for starting
- 5:10Speaker 2: the car and getting on your way. But that kind
- 5:13Speaker 2: of energy I love. I like a regular car wash
- 5:17Speaker 2: where the car is getting bashed by the festival is
- 5:20Speaker 2: a good way.
- 5:21Speaker 3: It's the festival because everything's fringe, do you know what
- 5:22Speaker 3: I mean? Ye, Like, it's all like fringe and tassels,
- 5:25Speaker 3: and it's very southward.
- 5:29Speaker 2: It's very white.
- 5:30Speaker 3: Woman in Santa Fe kind of feeling herself. She's from
- 5:33Speaker 3: New York, but she recently moved there to find herself.
- 5:36Speaker 2: I want to see that exact car wash where everything's
- 5:38Speaker 2: kind of a beige or a turquoise, a very like
- 5:41Speaker 2: tasteful fringey, because right now it's still kind of circus
- 5:46Speaker 2: maximalist type, like blasting colors. Everything's like lava wax or
- 5:53Speaker 2: laser shine, which I appreciate.
- 5:55Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lava wax and the laser. But I mean,
- 5:58Speaker 3: I'm sure you want a more curated experience as I do.
- 6:01Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 6:01Speaker 3: This is la I want to go to in a
- 6:03Speaker 3: car wash and like all of the tassels are ivory,
- 6:06Speaker 3: and like everything is ivory. You go in there and
- 6:08Speaker 3: it's a liminal like severance style gorgeous.
- 6:12Speaker 2: Yeah, who's gonna do this? Why haven't they done this?
- 6:14Speaker 4: So?
- 6:14Speaker 2: I don't know. It's sick.
- 6:15Speaker 3: Every time you go there and get soap. It's like
- 6:18Speaker 3: getting sprinkles on a carvel cake or Nickelodeon.
- 6:21Speaker 2: It's nickel. You're getting slimy. Double Dare. Your car is
- 6:27Speaker 2: getting slipped to your pass cut Double Dare. Mark Summers,
- 6:34Speaker 2: The Mark Summer's car Wash, The thing about the one
- 6:36Speaker 2: that you do yourself. You do feel powerful. You have
- 6:39Speaker 2: a giant gun. You get to shoot at the car, yeah,
- 6:42Speaker 2: which like there's nowhere else in the world that you
- 6:44Speaker 2: get to do that safely. No, of course not.
- 6:47Speaker 3: I think the worst part about it is when people
- 6:48Speaker 3: walk near you when you're doing it, and you know,
- 6:52Speaker 3: I'm like, you're gonna get misted, do you know what
- 6:53Speaker 3: I mean?
- 6:54Speaker 2: Like, I don't mean to do it, but the wind's
- 6:56Speaker 2: blowing your direction. You're gonna get misted.
- 6:58Speaker 3: And that's not great because then you soak a stranger, Yeah,
- 7:00Speaker 3: you know what I mean. And then parts of it
- 7:02Speaker 3: are icky, like if you go over to the part
- 7:05Speaker 3: where you're supposed to vacuum and like dry everything out,
- 7:07Speaker 3: it's ikey over there.
- 7:10Speaker 2: How so, well it's ikey. I don't know if it's
- 7:12Speaker 2: like this everyone, but the one I go to sometimes
- 7:14Speaker 2: people pee over there. It's like it kind.
- 7:18Speaker 3: Of smells like you're in and sometimes the suction doesn't work,
- 7:22Speaker 3: so you're trying to hose and just kind of this
- 7:24Speaker 3: miasma of piss, piss and trash, trash, it's cigarette butts.
- 7:30Speaker 2: It's just a bad you're in a bad way.
- 7:32Speaker 3: But you want to stay in the liquid area and
- 7:34Speaker 3: you want to use that follow the steps they make
- 7:37Speaker 3: it very simple. Try not to use the brush too
- 7:41Speaker 3: much because sometimes it has sand in it and it seems.
- 7:44Speaker 2: Bad for cars. No, but it's great. It's like a broom.
- 7:48Speaker 2: But it's great for the spirit. Do you know what
- 7:51Speaker 2: I mean? And yeah, it's ripping the paint off cars
- 7:55Speaker 2: had skin. Take a loof to a car? No, I again,
- 8:02Speaker 2: And now that's another thing that could be themed. Starship
- 8:05Speaker 2: Trooper theme with the big guns. You're shooting lights absolutely
- 8:10Speaker 2: in la of all places. Why aren't these things? They
- 8:13Speaker 2: should have more themes to these rather than just generic.
- 8:16Speaker 2: Why there aren't more themes in general? Of course I
- 8:18Speaker 2: think car wash Starship Troopers would be great, but I
- 8:22Speaker 2: also think even okay, every fast food place now and
- 8:27Speaker 2: this is a tangent. Are you mad? We don't do tangents.
- 8:31Speaker 2: We're very efficient.
- 8:31Speaker 3: We're gonna talk about carwashes for an hour and a
- 8:33Speaker 3: half ivery and everyone's talked about this. But every like
- 8:37Speaker 3: fast food restaurant now is brutalist. Oh yes, of course,
- 8:40Speaker 3: of course, I think every person who purchases the franchise
- 8:45Speaker 3: a fast food restaurant franchise should really make it their own.
- 8:48Speaker 2: They should really dig in. I once went on a
- 8:51Speaker 2: road trip with my family when I was really younger.
- 8:52Speaker 3: We were like going through Nebraska, and we stopped at
- 8:56Speaker 3: We stopped at a McDonald's brocade curtains.
- 9:00Speaker 2: There was a time period when this was happening a
- 9:02Speaker 2: McDonald It was beautiful. It was the most beautiful McDonald's
- 9:06Speaker 2: I've ever seen in my life. It was like being
- 9:08Speaker 2: in a European It was like being in Versailles, and
- 9:11Speaker 2: the bathrooms were spotless, and I've never seen a McDonald's
- 9:15Speaker 2: like it, clearly because the franchise owner just really had
- 9:18Speaker 2: kind of a very specific vision for what this McDonald's
- 9:21Speaker 2: going to be mean to McDonald's. Absolutely, yeah, there was.
- 9:24Speaker 2: I feel like there was a period it must have
- 9:25Speaker 2: been like the late eighties or the mid nineties where
- 9:29Speaker 2: a lot of the occasional McDonald's would feel like Grandma's
- 9:31Speaker 2: living room, where it's like, this doesn't quite match what
- 9:35Speaker 2: I think of with McDonald's, but I appreciate it. It's
- 9:37Speaker 2: like dingy, starting to feel dingy. Those curtains obviously smell
- 9:41Speaker 2: like chicken.
- 9:42Speaker 3: Mcnaficis, Yeah, those curtains smell wraw. Those curtains are good,
- 9:47Speaker 3: but I do like just pick a theme. I think
- 9:50Speaker 3: prehistoric Western. Okay, there's a coffee shop out here, which
- 9:55Speaker 3: I'm not going to name specifically, but it is ostensibly named.
- 9:57Speaker 2: After prehistoric animals. So disappointing. Yeah, it's it's called what
- 10:02Speaker 2: it's called. I'm happy because I will say it's good coffee.
- 10:06Speaker 2: It's called dinosaur coffee exactly. We can name it, but
- 10:09Speaker 2: because it should be dinosaur themed, it.
- 10:12Speaker 3: Absolutely shit every now and then they put a cheeky
- 10:14Speaker 3: little stegosaurus stamp on a cop I went in there excited,
- 10:18Speaker 3: right because I've never been there before. I saw the name.
- 10:21Speaker 3: I was thrilled. I was out of my fucking chair
- 10:24Speaker 3: ready to go to dinosaur coffee.
- 10:25Speaker 2: I thought it was gonna be filled with ferns. I
- 10:28Speaker 2: thought the cups they were gonna have little, like, you know,
- 10:31Speaker 2: kitchy dinosaur shaped cups. It's like it's like it's like
- 10:35Speaker 2: a t rex and it's holding a big bowl or
- 10:38Speaker 2: like a triceratops with its mouth open, and you're like
- 10:41Speaker 2: drinking out of the triceratops' mouth and not a functional cup.
- 10:44Speaker 2: Not a function No, not functional in fact, it hurts. Yes,
- 10:47Speaker 2: your hand is being cut, your head is being cut
- 10:49Speaker 2: by the triceratops horns. But it's just it's like a
- 10:53Speaker 2: barber shop in a rich neighborhood. It looks like it's
- 10:55Speaker 2: it's it's white and tan, and it's got like kind
- 10:59Speaker 2: of a rib shade. What's that is probably as close
- 11:03Speaker 2: to dinosaurs you get in. It almost feels like a
- 11:07Speaker 2: like a skeleton that was excavated from something. They're phoning
- 11:10Speaker 2: it in. They should have put sand in the back.
- 11:11Speaker 2: It should feel humid in there. There should be a
- 11:13Speaker 2: wet pool where like you know, you go into you're
- 11:15Speaker 2: almost smelling pool.
- 11:17Speaker 3: That's what I want is I want to go into
- 11:18Speaker 3: somewhere I want to I want to go to a
- 11:20Speaker 3: coffee shop. Eighty percent humidity, reeks of chlorine.
- 11:23Speaker 2: It should smell like the indoor pool of a motel six,
- 11:28Speaker 2: not coffee.
- 11:29Speaker 3: It should have like chipped sculptures of dinosaurs that are
- 11:32Speaker 3: wildly scientifically inaccurate at this point, and they're from a
- 11:35Speaker 3: different time.
- 11:36Speaker 2: You know, what's that gas station that has like that?
- 11:40Speaker 2: The dinosaur out front of the dinosaur out front Sinclair
- 11:42Speaker 2: gas Stag Unfortunately kind of a I mean, well, of
- 11:46Speaker 2: course it is a gas station is owned by a
- 11:49Speaker 2: highly conservative, evil corporation. Oh fuck, but they all love
- 11:53Speaker 2: drinking their gas, we all do. I have one this morning?
- 11:59Speaker 2: Oh my god. But I think they also have these
- 12:02Speaker 2: this They have a bunch of news stations throughout the
- 12:05Speaker 2: northwest Sinclair, Oh my god. Yeah, And obviously they're just
- 12:10Speaker 2: pushing some horrible agenda all the time. But then they
- 12:12Speaker 2: have this wonderful dinosaur out. I guess I never put
- 12:14Speaker 2: that together that it was the same organization, and there's
- 12:17Speaker 2: a good chance it's not. Maybe it's just the same name.
- 12:19Speaker 3: There's no way I've never met anyone in real life
- 12:22Speaker 3: named Sinclair, so it's true. There can't be more than
- 12:25Speaker 3: one famous Sinclair organization.
- 12:26Speaker 2: Claire is a scary last name.
- 12:28Speaker 3: Oh terrifying, terrifying, and might I say Southern, Oh very
- 12:33Speaker 3: very Tennessee. Williams ass name Laverna Sinclair lives in a
- 12:39Speaker 3: dilapidated plantation house.
- 12:41Speaker 2: She wears a Missus Havisham dress that chatters.
- 12:46Speaker 3: Colonel Sanders is on the porch. Colonel Sanders is on
- 12:49Speaker 3: the porch. He's a feminate but not gay. Yes, absolutely,
- 12:54Speaker 3: in the way that southern Medo. Sometime's efeminate but not
- 12:56Speaker 3: gay Lindsay Graham style, and they're constantly arguing.
- 13:01Speaker 2: Everyone's sweating all the time. Saint Clair, I don't know
- 13:06Speaker 2: that I've ever met a goods in Clare. I've never
- 13:08Speaker 2: met a sin Claire.
- 13:08Speaker 3: No, and I don't think you ever will. We're not
- 13:10Speaker 3: part of that world, you know what I mean. We're
- 13:12Speaker 3: out here, we're Yankees. I want to be part of
- 13:15Speaker 3: that world.
- 13:16Speaker 2: Oh, I want to be part of the Dinosaur gas
- 13:18Speaker 2: station work.
- 13:19Speaker 3: You could get there. I think you could make a
- 13:21Speaker 3: really powerful conservative pivot. And I think you know this
- 13:23Speaker 3: about yourself.
- 13:24Speaker 2: I'm ready to the drop of a hat to take
- 13:27Speaker 2: this podcast in a real weird direction.
- 13:29Speaker 3: I am all the time. Every now and then I
- 13:31Speaker 3: think to myself, I could make a lot of money.
- 13:33Speaker 3: I think I'd be so much better at it than
- 13:35Speaker 3: the conservatives are. They don't make any sense, do.
- 13:38Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Of course you don't have
- 13:39Speaker 2: to make any sense. They're not charming, you know a mile. Also,
- 13:45Speaker 2: coming from where we start, people will be like the
- 13:47Speaker 2: conservative crowd will eat us up because they'll be like,
- 13:50Speaker 2: look where they started. Now they're on our team. Oh
- 13:53Speaker 2: you would change, you would change in that way, they
- 13:55Speaker 2: would think, oh, look now they're demons, and so you know,
- 13:58Speaker 2: like I feel like when someone on the left makes
- 14:01Speaker 2: a conservative pivot, the conservatives the far right really goes
- 14:06Speaker 2: for them because they're like, look, they changed their mind
- 14:08Speaker 2: finally exactly they saw that they were wrong.
- 14:10Speaker 3: I think I would pretend that I had like found
- 14:12Speaker 3: God and become straight.
- 14:14Speaker 2: I would show up with a wife. Do you ever
- 14:16Speaker 2: worry about that? I think, God, I'm becoming straight. Like
- 14:19Speaker 2: the idea of like maybe you get older and you
- 14:21Speaker 2: lose your mind, so you're like I was wrong all along.
- 14:26Speaker 2: You think you're going to get dementia and forget that
- 14:30Speaker 2: you're a homosexual. Not even dementia. I just like, I
- 14:34Speaker 2: feel like at some point some people, as they get older,
- 14:37Speaker 2: they just kind of like freak out and start to
- 14:41Speaker 2: panic about life and then like suddenly become religious again
- 14:44Speaker 2: or that kind of thing. And I think I'm far
- 14:48Speaker 2: enough removed at this point that I'm going to be okay,
- 14:50Speaker 2: But you never know.
- 14:52Speaker 3: I could see it happening. There are some things I
- 14:54Speaker 3: miss about church, Like what here's what I miss about church.
- 14:57Speaker 3: The pancake breakfasts every now and then to be a
- 15:00Speaker 3: pancake breakfast. There are very few contexts in which I
- 15:02Speaker 3: can go somewhere, get like a dozen cheap pancakes and
- 15:05Speaker 3: just you know, keyky with my friends. It does not
- 15:07Speaker 3: happen anymore. This motion, oh, change and do this. Were
- 15:13Speaker 3: you Catholic Mormon, there's none of that.
- 15:16Speaker 2: There was a lot. Mormon church was very dull for
- 15:19Speaker 2: me to bring up dancing, and you were a Mormon.
- 15:21Speaker 2: There was no nobody playing drums, No guitar was allowed. Okay,
- 15:25Speaker 2: there's a lot of quietly singing hymns. Uh. The loudest
- 15:29Speaker 2: instrument we had was an organ. Oh god. Yeah. So
- 15:33Speaker 2: it's like a very not a party atmosphere. There are
- 15:36Speaker 2: pancake breakfasts we had. We had a party atmosphere. What
- 15:40Speaker 2: church were you going to?
- 15:41Speaker 3: Well, it was like a megachurch cusp, like right on
- 15:44Speaker 3: the edge of being a megachurch, kind of a huge congregation.
- 15:47Speaker 3: We had like a whole band like opening for a
- 15:50Speaker 3: mega church. Oh absolutely, and we're getting there. I think
- 15:53Speaker 3: more and more every day. I think they just bought
- 15:54Speaker 3: a new space and there's a cafe. Of course, there's
- 15:57Speaker 3: a My pastor was so cool. He described himself as
- 16:00Speaker 3: a jazz theologian. So he like he has this great
- 16:03Speaker 3: book about like the intersection of Christ in jazz, and
- 16:06Speaker 3: I've never seen anything like it. Truly, there's a lot
- 16:09Speaker 3: of Once again, there's a lot that I miss about church.
- 16:13Speaker 2: Was your church getting into like dark stuff? I mean,
- 16:17Speaker 2: was it like? No, he kept it light. That's the
- 16:19Speaker 2: good thing is he kept it light, you know what
- 16:20Speaker 2: I mean. Good for him. They say he got up there,
- 16:22Speaker 2: he said be nice.
- 16:25Speaker 3: He said, God forbid, God forbid, God forbid someone get
- 16:28Speaker 3: up there and say be nice, be a decent first.
- 16:30Speaker 2: Yeah, and not your gay little cousin is a free
- 16:32Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Were they fairly inclusive church?
- 16:36Speaker 2: I think they were inclusive.
- 16:37Speaker 3: I think there are a lot of kind of Baptist
- 16:40Speaker 3: churches and mega churchy churches that are ostensibly inclusive.
- 16:44Speaker 2: Like right, that's how they get you.
- 16:46Speaker 3: They never talk about it like you, never kind of
- 16:48Speaker 3: dig beneath the service.
- 16:49Speaker 2: But that's how they get you. You know what I mean,
- 16:51Speaker 2: look too closely? No, no, just listen to the music
- 16:53Speaker 2: and move your hands. Yeah, this thing, you know, it's
- 16:57Speaker 2: like the extent of the dancing that's happening. Well, it's
- 16:59Speaker 2: a lot of people.
- 17:00Speaker 3: They're like feeling the spirit and they're like yes Lord,
- 17:02Speaker 3: Yes Lord, Yes, yes Lord Amen, and then just like
- 17:06Speaker 3: shuffling back and forth like this. That's a big one.
- 17:09Speaker 3: I honestly think that's most of it.
- 17:10Speaker 2: Yeah, was there any speaking in tongues? No? But I
- 17:14Speaker 2: have family members.
- 17:15Speaker 3: I have an aunt who wants she's not she she's
- 17:19Speaker 3: a very close family friend. We call her aunt, right,
- 17:21Speaker 3: and she wants lean over to me and she goes,
- 17:23Speaker 3: you know, I have the gift of tongues. I'm possessed
- 17:26Speaker 3: of the gift of tongues. And I was like, Wow,
- 17:29Speaker 3: that's that's really gaggy, you know what I mean, it's.
- 17:32Speaker 2: A gag Did you dare her to try? No?
- 17:35Speaker 3: I think she has to be like in the state.
- 17:38Speaker 3: You have to kind of get into the trance state.
- 17:40Speaker 2: Otherwise it's gobbledegook. I mean, unless you're in the trance,
- 17:44Speaker 2: it's nonsense, you know what I mean? And I guess
- 17:46Speaker 2: that is more like southern church, like Jesus Camp, that
- 17:49Speaker 2: type of thing where everyone's just I don't know how
- 17:53Speaker 2: you get to that emotional state where you're suddenly just
- 17:57Speaker 2: ha amout a shubata. But would have maybe we both
- 18:02Speaker 2: can speak in tongues deep in love.
- 18:05Speaker 3: It boo, I'm gonna Supit is me trying to order
- 18:08Speaker 3: sup at a restaurant, but I haven't had any water.
- 18:11Speaker 3: I'm parched, I'm parched. My mouth is dry. I'm like
- 18:14Speaker 3: an emch and I'm like, I'm you just want the
- 18:19Speaker 3: tomato basis. I just want the tomato basil. But I
- 18:21Speaker 3: can't remember the words. No one can wait. I was
- 18:25Speaker 3: gonna say something I have to do.
- 18:27Speaker 2: With speaking in tongues ordering soup. Oh. The snake churches, Oh,
- 18:32Speaker 2: snake churches is a whole other It's kind of a
- 18:35Speaker 2: different category, kind of a different category. But I did
- 18:37Speaker 2: watch a little video on the snake church recently. What
- 18:39Speaker 2: did you learn? I learned that those people are really
- 18:41Speaker 2: fucking awful of those goddamn snakes. Those people are really mean.
- 18:45Speaker 2: What did they do to them? They're taking they're taking
- 18:47Speaker 2: rattlesnakes out of their little They keep them in erriums
- 18:49Speaker 2: on newspapers. They take them out when it's time to
- 18:51Speaker 2: like test God or whatever, and they take them out
- 18:55Speaker 2: and they like step on them and they like throw
- 18:58Speaker 2: them around and really just kind of put these snakes
- 19:01Speaker 2: through hell. And then put them back, and so whenever
- 19:03Speaker 2: one of them gets bit and killed by one of
- 19:04Speaker 2: these snakes, I'm like, yeah, I mean you were absolutely asking.
- 19:09Speaker 3: We're begging for it. They're doing crazy things to those snakes.
- 19:12Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? So what is the point? It
- 19:14Speaker 2: is like testing God? Like being like, God, you won't
- 19:18Speaker 2: let the snake bite me, strangest thing in the world, Mama.
- 19:21Speaker 2: They're like, they're like, Okay, we're so protected and blessed
- 19:27Speaker 2: by God in this.
- 19:28Speaker 3: Moment, like we're going to prove it to you by
- 19:32Speaker 3: kind of molesting these rattle snakes. And the rattlesnakes aren't
- 19:36Speaker 3: going to do anything no matter how much we diddle them,
- 19:39Speaker 3: like everything's going to be fine because God.
- 19:42Speaker 2: Won't let it happen. And then sometimes sometimes God is
- 19:47Speaker 2: dead and the snake bites the guy and it happens
- 19:50Speaker 2: all the time, And I guess when that happens, how
- 19:53Speaker 2: do they move the goalpost? Is it just like, well,
- 19:55Speaker 2: God decided that.
- 19:58Speaker 3: Maybe there's like a secret or something, or like you
- 20:01Speaker 3: lose a finger and you're like that finger was temptation.
- 20:04Speaker 3: That was a temptation finger, and is always rattlesnakes. It's
- 20:07Speaker 3: always venomous snakes. Whoa, I mean, there's no way they
- 20:11Speaker 3: use Could you imagine if it was a non venomous snake,
- 20:13Speaker 3: They're like stamping on a garter snake or something.
- 20:16Speaker 2: Of course, nothing's going to happen. It has to be
- 20:18Speaker 2: a rattle snake. Well, that would be my snake church.
- 20:20Speaker 2: I'm not going to actually test the limits of snakes.
- 20:23Speaker 2: It's you with two terrified ball pythons just like them
- 20:27Speaker 2: in your hands, whipping them around. Why am I talking
- 20:34Speaker 2: to you like you're the expert? Please? I think at
- 20:36Speaker 2: this point I am. I certainly feel like the expert stage.
- 20:39Speaker 2: I wonder, are snakes part of every time you go
- 20:42Speaker 2: to church or so, like once a month we bring
- 20:44Speaker 2: out the snake like especial occasion. Yeah, like it's Christmas,
- 20:47Speaker 2: it's Easter, let's break out the pancake breakfast. I think
- 20:52Speaker 2: they bring them out a lot. I really think they
- 20:54Speaker 2: bring them out a lot.
- 20:55Speaker 3: They're hauling them out all the time. And here's the thing,
- 20:58Speaker 3: I think snakes do get it used to being handled.
- 21:01Speaker 3: So if they're bringing these rattlesnakes out constantly, the rattle
- 21:03Speaker 3: snakes are probably going to be less likely to bite you.
- 21:05Speaker 2: This again. Yeah, if they.
- 21:07Speaker 3: Really want to do something crazy, they should get a
- 21:08Speaker 3: fresh one every time. They should get a rattlesnake, like
- 21:12Speaker 3: a city rattlesnake. That is like, it's it's violent, it's
- 21:17Speaker 3: got horrible tendencies, it's socopathic. The other rattlesnake, stay away
- 21:21Speaker 3: from it. It came out of a toilet. It came
- 21:24Speaker 3: out of a toilet, and then it loved it so
- 21:30Speaker 3: much that it went back in. Like that kind of
- 21:33Speaker 3: a rattle snake. Oh, truly a sewer snake. Get one
- 21:36Speaker 3: of those and that'll prove to me that kind of
- 21:39Speaker 3: topic snakes.
- 21:42Speaker 2: It's the I don't know. Religion is so funny and
- 21:44Speaker 2: so weird. They should do a spider church. I wonder
- 21:46Speaker 2: if anybody's ever attempted that. Oh, because you dance on
- 21:49Speaker 2: those spiders that you're gonna burn through spiders. That's a
- 21:54Speaker 2: big budget for spiders.
- 21:55Speaker 3: But maybe another dangerous animal, right, like a scorpions box, jellyfish,
- 22:02Speaker 3: rabbit dog church, rabbit dogs, bring out the rabbit dogs
- 22:07Speaker 3: dog church, just running through the congregation, nipping at people.
- 22:15Speaker 2: I was about to make a horrible pond. Oh my,
- 22:17Speaker 2: I a better to make a horrible pond.
- 22:18Speaker 3: Well, now you have to care instead of fuse their
- 22:21Speaker 3: pause and I'll never do it again.
- 22:23Speaker 2: I'll say that I never do it again. I can
- 22:26Speaker 2: wrap up the podcast at any time, so just don't
- 22:29Speaker 2: push me. But we have invented, so now we should
- 22:34Speaker 2: be in charge of cars. Yeah, car washers and animal
- 22:38Speaker 2: themed churches. Animal themed. I think Snake Church is ultimately
- 22:43Speaker 2: animal themed.
- 22:46Speaker 3: Mall shops get abandoned all the time, Sure, go out
- 22:50Speaker 3: of business. Yeah, I would love to see a church
- 22:52Speaker 3: take over the rain for his cafe.
- 22:56Speaker 2: I mean, speaking of theme for restaurants, it's all coming together.
- 22:58Speaker 2: Then it's our coffee take over a rainforest cafe. Perfect.
- 23:01Speaker 2: I mean, does Rainforest Cafe still exist? Oh yeah, they're
- 23:05Speaker 2: still probably like dragging themselves at this point.
- 23:09Speaker 3: No listen, Rainforest Cafe has seen a surge and activity.
- 23:13Speaker 2: This was a whole news story, like can ironic surge?
- 23:15Speaker 2: I think so true?
- 23:16Speaker 3: Like gen Z actually, really we love a themed restaurant
- 23:20Speaker 3: and so everyone kind of wants that Kitschi fun experience
- 23:23Speaker 3: of going to the Rainforest Cafe all of a sudden
- 23:25Speaker 3: and it was on its last.
- 23:26Speaker 2: Legs, which was super air. Then gen Z like stabbed
- 23:29Speaker 2: adrenaline into its heart and it's alive again. There's a
- 23:32Speaker 2: video online of this guy going to every rainforest cafe
- 23:36Speaker 2: in America. He visits every single one, all two of them.
- 23:40Speaker 2: There's so many, there's so many more than you think.
- 23:42Speaker 3: You keep besmirching them, and they're actually a very powerful organization,
- 23:45Speaker 3: so I would really watch it. And he goes to
- 23:48Speaker 3: everyone of the numerous beautiful rainforest cafes immaculates eating their
- 23:54Speaker 3: menu is crazy. Everything is like tropical cage in pasta
- 23:58Speaker 3: of course, and and like gorilla cheesecake, and it's just
- 24:04Speaker 3: stuff you might find in a diner, but with like
- 24:08Speaker 3: rain in front of it. And he eats that and
- 24:10Speaker 3: he starts to get so like sick and weird from
- 24:14Speaker 3: drinking nothing but mango dackies and eating like cowabunga meatballs
- 24:20Speaker 3: or whatever they're called, dynamite steak the wet dirt.
- 24:26Speaker 2: And he documented the whole thing, hmm, but probably over
- 24:29Speaker 2: TikTok or something YouTube. It's actually really beautiful the way
- 24:33Speaker 2: he edits it. Really.
- 24:34Speaker 3: Yeah, he goes to this very emotional journey. He goes
- 24:37Speaker 3: with his friend. His car breaks down at one point
- 24:41Speaker 3: and it's just kind of it's a beautiful narrative toured
- 24:43Speaker 3: through the told through the lens of a Rainforest Cafe.
- 24:47Speaker 3: Rainforest Cafe is really just the vehicle for him to
- 24:49Speaker 3: create what I might describe as a novella of the
- 24:53Speaker 3: suffering of man and kind of a love letter to
- 24:57Speaker 3: classic Americana.
- 25:00Speaker 2: Losing my mind. Oh my god, I've spilled my drink
- 25:02Speaker 2: on Alas, I'm having a hard day. Do we have
- 25:04Speaker 2: a napkin in the house? In a napkin? Please? It's
- 25:10Speaker 2: filthy in here. I'm having a very hard time talking
- 25:13Speaker 2: about Rainforest I'm I'm just realizing now that I've been
- 25:16Speaker 2: hunched over this entire time. Have you really I think,
- 25:18Speaker 2: from from my viewpoint, you've had excellent poshing. Now what
- 25:22Speaker 2: am I doing? I think the Mico? Yeah, you're fucked up?
- 25:28Speaker 2: Thank you, On Alice, this podcast has taken a real
- 25:33Speaker 2: violent turn. I've spilled my coffee. I'm a disaster. Wow,
- 25:37Speaker 2: I need to see this Rainforest Cafe video series. They're
- 25:40Speaker 2: kind of the last themed restaurant. Oh yeah, lasted all
- 25:43Speaker 2: of them? Oh my god? Did they? Oh no, the
- 25:45Speaker 2: cheesecake Factory. That's not a theme. What are you talking?
- 25:49Speaker 2: Is cheesecake themes? Or it's factory theme.
- 25:51Speaker 3: The theme is Ancient Egypt, and the theme is Ancient Egypt.
- 25:54Speaker 3: It is you go down into a cheesecake factory and
- 25:57Speaker 3: it looks like like an ancient Babylonian tomb. It's dimly lit, beautiful, beautiful,
- 26:04Speaker 3: stunning sconces everywhere. And let me tell you something about
- 26:06Speaker 3: the cheesy fact. What let me tell you about the
- 26:08Speaker 3: cheesy fact. The food there every time I go, and
- 26:11Speaker 3: I go pretty often is never.
- 26:14Speaker 2: Bad at worst. At worst, it's only fine, yes, but
- 26:17Speaker 2: it's never bad. That's very true. Yeah, they kind of, like,
- 26:20Speaker 2: I feel like, they kind of pride themselves on making
- 26:23Speaker 2: absolutely fine food. Yeah, like you like you won't be like,
- 26:27Speaker 2: you won't complain about your meal, of course not, which
- 26:30Speaker 2: is more than a lot of franchise. It's not franchise,
- 26:33Speaker 2: but chain restaurants can say I think so, And I
- 26:36Speaker 2: like how they have stuff that's just called like Asian salad.
- 26:39Speaker 2: Of course it's just means nothing. It means absolutely nothing.
- 26:45Speaker 2: They're just like Asian salad. It might as well be
- 26:47Speaker 2: Calabunga salad.
- 26:48Speaker 3: Absolutely it might be. But it's classier because there are
- 26:52Speaker 3: no animals in there.
- 26:53Speaker 2: Which on cheesecake factory going to the gallery or the
- 26:56Speaker 2: Americana Factory, the Grove Factory.
- 27:00Speaker 3: I prefer the Grove because there's something so romantic about
- 27:02Speaker 3: being seated on the terrace on the upper level and
- 27:05Speaker 3: you like overlook the grove and you can kind of
- 27:09Speaker 3: see this veneer of Tuscany melt away because right behind
- 27:14Speaker 3: it is the parking garage and the Nike store and
- 27:17Speaker 3: you're just kind of watching the world go by beneath you.
- 27:21Speaker 2: Or sometimes they.
- 27:22Speaker 3: Sit you in in the interior balcony that overlooks the amc.
- 27:26Speaker 2: Oh even more beautiful, the smell of popcorn wafting up,
- 27:30Speaker 2: the smell of popcorn floor whatever else wafting up into
- 27:34Speaker 2: your face. But no, it is really beautiful.
- 27:36Speaker 3: I think it is one of the top ten most
- 27:38Speaker 3: romantic dining locations in Los Angeles.
- 27:40Speaker 2: Riding that escalator up, it's so big, it's there was
- 27:44Speaker 2: no need to put an escalator. It feels like going
- 27:47Speaker 2: down to the subway in Washington, DC or something. It's
- 27:50Speaker 2: like so long and I think kind of skinny.
- 27:54Speaker 3: Oh yeah, absolutely cannot stand abreast, cannot past somebody on
- 28:00Speaker 3: that escalator. You know, it's crazy there's an upscalator, But no,
- 28:03Speaker 3: there's no downscalator. Oh interesting, you have to either take
- 28:05Speaker 3: that down stairs down or I wonder what the thinking
- 28:09Speaker 3: was behind that, or actually.
- 28:11Speaker 2: I could be totally wrong. I could be making that up.
- 28:13Speaker 2: It seems right, do you think, Yeah, I'm like picturing
- 28:16Speaker 2: it now. I think you get to ride up. But
- 28:18Speaker 2: afterward your your screw. You wanted to say fucked. Why
- 28:22Speaker 2: didn't you more to keep this jumping back out? That's crazy.
- 28:26Speaker 2: You literally were about to say fucked and you stopped yourself.
- 28:30Speaker 2: This is a church podcast. Person foremost, I always am
- 28:36Speaker 2: surprised by when this podcast is listed as explicit. What
- 28:41Speaker 2: are we talking about? Parental advisory? Wait, there's a there's
- 28:46Speaker 2: a bent like put a little a little E next
- 28:49Speaker 2: to every episode for it, like this is like a
- 28:52Speaker 2: doctor tree out.
- 28:56Speaker 3: I did notice that I looked at Hannah Pilcaus's episode
- 28:59Speaker 3: and there wasn't E, and I was like, she was
- 29:00Speaker 3: probably great.
- 29:01Speaker 2: Did they get into it? Like I have no idea,
- 29:04Speaker 2: just filth, absolute filth. Well, I will you know something
- 29:08Speaker 2: that is disgusting I will say on this podcast. Still again,
- 29:13Speaker 2: you're not gonna be happy about this because I'm not finny.
- 29:17Speaker 2: The podcast is called I said no gifts. Yeah, I
- 29:20Speaker 2: was looking forward to you coming today. Okay, I thought,
- 29:22Speaker 2: Finny'll come, We'll have a great time. I'll pitch some
- 29:25Speaker 2: of my car ideas. Maybe he'll take them out into
- 29:28Speaker 2: the world and we'll, you know, spread spread this information
- 29:33Speaker 2: and have a wonderful time. So it's a little surprised,
- 29:37Speaker 2: and I will also say a little delighted when you
- 29:40Speaker 2: came into the studio holding what is not only a gift,
- 29:45Speaker 2: but a beautifully wrapped gift. Yeah, I'm so sorry. That
- 29:49Speaker 2: was my mistake.
- 29:50Speaker 3: Okay, I'm as mad as you are. I may be
- 29:53Speaker 3: more than you are.
- 29:56Speaker 2: You're shaking, physically shaking. I'm shaking.
- 29:58Speaker 3: I'm gonna do something crazy after this. I'm gonna do
- 30:01Speaker 3: something crazy. I don't know what it is yet, but
- 30:03Speaker 3: it's not gonna be legal. And I'm so mad.
- 30:06Speaker 2: I can't. You're casting a wide net with behavior just
- 30:09Speaker 2: saying it may not be legal. Yeah, I'm going to
- 30:11Speaker 2: do something crazy, But you brought this lovely little Uh.
- 30:16Speaker 2: It's in a small box wrapped in kind of a
- 30:19Speaker 2: newspaper or a coupon section.
- 30:21Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 30:21Speaker 2: I get a lot of coupon mailers. I get a
- 30:24Speaker 2: lot of coupon mailers and then it has a little
- 30:25Speaker 2: piece of origami on top.
- 30:27Speaker 3: I had to watch a tutorial on how to make
- 30:28Speaker 3: that crane. And let me say the guy was insufferable.
- 30:32Speaker 2: Shock.
- 30:32Speaker 3: The guy was insufferable. So he'd be like, and now
- 30:36Speaker 3: folded down to make the legs, okay, he said, And
- 30:39Speaker 3: now make a leg fold. He'd be like, and now
- 30:42Speaker 3: we're making a belly fold in a mountain fold? Were
- 30:44Speaker 3: you supposed to shut up until say fold in half?
- 30:48Speaker 3: Stop talking about bellies and mountains and legs.
- 30:50Speaker 2: If anybody knows Hamburger hot dog folding, Yeah, that's what
- 30:54Speaker 2: I can say.
- 30:55Speaker 3: Paddy Wiener, Paddy Wiener, and I'll figure it out. Don't
- 30:57Speaker 3: say mountain and belly anyway, I made the beautiful grain.
- 31:01Speaker 2: It's gorgeous. Right when the last time you did orgami? Oh,
- 31:04Speaker 2: it's probably been days. I used to love me orgami frogs.
- 31:11Speaker 3: I used to be this b in Chicago where I
- 31:12Speaker 3: would fold a bunch of orgon me frogs and I
- 31:14Speaker 3: would be this man who's addicted to or gammy frogs
- 31:17Speaker 3: and I would throw them at the audience cranes.
- 31:20Speaker 2: I don't make as much. They're less functional, I would say, no,
- 31:23Speaker 2: they're not functional at all, but they are elegant. They
- 31:26Speaker 2: are so elegant, delicate.
- 31:28Speaker 3: And I wrapped this gift and just the box looked
- 31:31Speaker 3: bald to me, right, nude in a way that wasn't tasteful,
- 31:38Speaker 3: kind of nude in an acrid, dangerous way. And so
- 31:41Speaker 3: I topped it with a crane, and then I thought
- 31:43Speaker 3: I would level some curly cues.
- 31:45Speaker 2: Curly cues were done gorgeously. This is not the scissor,
- 31:47Speaker 2: I imagine. No, no, and you know what it is,
- 31:50Speaker 2: because the newsprint isn't strong enough for the scissor. Oh,
- 31:53Speaker 2: that makes sense. So I tried. What I did is
- 31:55Speaker 2: I wrapped him around a pencil.
- 31:56Speaker 3: Oh wow, Yeah, I wrapped it with a pencil through
- 32:03Speaker 3: marinated them, threw them in a freezer, and you can
- 32:06Speaker 3: grill those up whenever you want. They're gonna be absolutely delicious.
- 32:10Speaker 3: Yeah wow, with a water. I've never heard this before.
- 32:13Speaker 2: It's so tasteful. Thank you so much. Okay, well should
- 32:17Speaker 2: I open it? Yeah, if you dare, I'm trying to
- 32:23Speaker 2: be very careful with so poorly. May just throw in
- 32:25Speaker 2: the trash the breast of the crane. Oh my god,
- 32:30Speaker 2: you're all over the place. The rude. I threw it
- 32:32Speaker 2: on the floor and that was rude. But it flew
- 32:35Speaker 2: kind of nice, did it. Let's try that again. It
- 32:39Speaker 2: doesn't fall immediately to the floor. Yeah, well, as cranes do,
- 32:44Speaker 2: as cranes do. Okay, we'll put it there on the table. Oh,
- 32:48Speaker 2: you're not going to name it. Oh it's its name
- 32:50Speaker 2: is David. Perfect. There we go. So man, now we
- 32:53Speaker 2: have that business. Excuse me, No, this is a woman.
- 32:56Speaker 2: I think it's a woman. Yeah, it's a lady crane David. Now,
- 33:00Speaker 2: I'm gonna be careful with these coupons. There might be
- 33:02Speaker 2: a money saving coupon and here that I think it's
- 33:03Speaker 2: mostly for alcohol or like closet shelves or something. I
- 33:08Speaker 2: feel like those are always in these now really closet organizers. Yeah,
- 33:11Speaker 2: closet organ one of those. My closet looks insane. Fifty.
- 33:15Speaker 2: I have silverfish. I haven't seen a silverfish, but I'm
- 33:18Speaker 2: just terrified that I'm going to get them. If you
- 33:19Speaker 2: have silverfish, that's gonna be a low day for you.
- 33:22Speaker 2: You'll think what am I doing? You? You know? But
- 33:25Speaker 2: I just feel like when you find a bug in
- 33:28Speaker 2: your house. Oh, it's just like what am I doing wrong? Yeah,
- 33:32Speaker 2: I'm dirty. I'm dirty. Okay, I do want to look
- 33:35Speaker 2: at what coupons we've got here. I'm not even looking
- 33:36Speaker 2: at the gift. Oh okay, don't worry about Oh okay,
- 33:39Speaker 2: we're putting that behind for a moment. I'm getting some
- 33:43Speaker 2: sort of steak, eight free burghers from somebody, and you
- 33:48Speaker 2: need them. Look at that. Just a giant piece of
- 33:51Speaker 2: raw meat. I don't know what it is. It's not raw,
- 33:53Speaker 2: it's certainly. Oh it's bacon wrapped, and then it has
- 33:57Speaker 2: some sort of pomegranate on top or something from how
- 34:00Speaker 2: did you say bacon wrapped like that? Bacon rap? It's
- 34:03Speaker 2: bacon wrapped. How am I supposed to say it? I
- 34:07Speaker 2: don't know, bacon wrapped. It's bacon wrapped. Liza Minelli. Okay, well,
- 34:20Speaker 2: tomato tomato. But okay, I've got eight free burgers coming
- 34:23Speaker 2: my way. Some sort of air conditioner or something, water purifier?
- 34:29Speaker 2: Oh wait, fifty percent off organize your home? What did
- 34:33Speaker 2: I tell you? Oh my god, there it is. This
- 34:34Speaker 2: is the curse of the modern circular god. I wish
- 34:37Speaker 2: I had a closet like that. Oh can you imagine?
- 34:39Speaker 2: This is like American psycho suit. This is essentially the
- 34:41Speaker 2: car wash we were talking about. It really is.
- 34:43Speaker 3: No, that's the color scheme and everything Beije gray. The
- 34:46Speaker 3: soap is pine tar.
- 34:49Speaker 2: And fifty percent off of something I'll never know. That's
- 34:52Speaker 2: a shame. Okay, now I've put the gift behind my computer.
- 34:55Speaker 2: I'm pulling is it's tea? Right? This is glazed lemon
- 35:01Speaker 2: loaf tea. You are not the first person to bring
- 35:03Speaker 2: this on the podcast, the same this exact and I
- 35:08Speaker 2: wonder who else brought the tea. This was a couple
- 35:10Speaker 2: of years ago, Alison Rosen, I don't know who that.
- 35:14Speaker 2: That's well, tell me why you brought this. This is
- 35:17Speaker 2: so fascinating. Yeah, well, I think it's delicious. It's so good.
- 35:21Speaker 2: I think it's the best tea.
- 35:23Speaker 3: Here's the thing, I think a lot of products that
- 35:25Speaker 3: are flavored like baked goods are kind of a waste
- 35:28Speaker 3: of time, right, because a pizza flavored thing isn't flavored
- 35:31Speaker 3: like a pizza.
- 35:32Speaker 2: Now, it's like garlic to an onion, garlic whatever.
- 35:35Speaker 3: This tastes Willy Wonka style as if you're eating glazed
- 35:40Speaker 3: lemon loaf. It's delicious and it was on sale to
- 35:44Speaker 3: for one. Oh my gosh, I have one for myself.
- 35:46Speaker 3: Good first, and what I'm hoping you do is text
- 35:48Speaker 3: me when you make a cup, and I'll make a
- 35:49Speaker 3: cup at the same time.
- 35:50Speaker 2: Oh, and we'll kind of synchronize.
- 35:52Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of like those lamps, like when you're in
- 35:54Speaker 3: a long distance relationship, like you touch one and it
- 35:56Speaker 3: lights up.
- 35:57Speaker 2: I haven't heard about this. That sounds so irritated. No
- 36:02Speaker 2: it doesn't. It sounds like the behavior of a controlling partner.
- 36:05Speaker 2: What you just see it like blinking a bunch because
- 36:07Speaker 2: the tapping constantly. The lamp turns red when you don't
- 36:10Speaker 2: touch it within three minutes. Think of me, me actively cheating,
- 36:14Speaker 2: touching the lamp while it's happening in in a moment
- 36:18Speaker 2: of ecstasy, the other person kicking their legs touching the
- 36:23Speaker 2: lamp on in New York.
- 36:25Speaker 1: Uh.
- 36:26Speaker 2: Okay, it's really good tea. But obviously you've had it
- 36:28Speaker 2: at this point. I but we have to talk about
- 36:30Speaker 2: it because you bring up a good point about a
- 36:33Speaker 2: lot of especially I think Oreo is currently our biggest offender.
- 36:37Speaker 2: Oh pisses me off. It makes me so mad.
- 36:40Speaker 3: Oreo flavored is chocolate and maybe vanilla or whatever their
- 36:44Speaker 3: icing is flavored, it's not the Oreo.
- 36:46Speaker 2: A lot of it is the texture. It's texture, it
- 36:49Speaker 2: tastes like it doesn't taste like chocolate. I mean, okay,
- 36:52Speaker 2: this is let's just put it all on the table.
- 36:54Speaker 2: Because this is a complicated issue and the cities on
- 36:57Speaker 2: the table, we have to be sensitive about how we
- 36:59Speaker 2: talk about it. Oreos. I love an original Oreo absolutely,
- 37:04Speaker 2: but now and we've talked about this. I think we've
- 37:07Speaker 2: all talked about this because this is what Oreo wants ultimately,
- 37:11Speaker 2: is to shock and just try to get our attention
- 37:14Speaker 2: in any way possible by putting whatever disgusting cream flavor
- 37:17Speaker 2: into the middle of the Oreo is possible.
- 37:20Speaker 3: Maybe we're a little different because this. I don't mind,
- 37:22Speaker 3: you know what I mean. I don't mind innovation. I
- 37:24Speaker 3: actually yearn for it.
- 37:26Speaker 2: I think Oreo being the.
- 37:27Speaker 3: Taco Bell of cookies is kind of It means they're
- 37:30Speaker 3: forward thinking and they're willing to push the boundary.
- 37:32Speaker 2: I think that's great. What I can't stand is when
- 37:36Speaker 2: something is Oreo flavored. But like so much of an
- 37:39Speaker 2: Oreo is the spirits of seeing the like the runes
- 37:43Speaker 2: on the Oreo. Oh and it is a run the
- 37:46Speaker 2: mysterious is a medallion or a rune that could open
- 37:49Speaker 2: a portal. It's whatever's on there. I don't know. It's
- 37:51Speaker 2: the one thing conspiracy theorists just have not latched on.
- 37:54Speaker 2: Come you imagine twisting that and it starts to glow.
- 37:58Speaker 2: You put them at the like five points of a
- 38:00Speaker 2: star and something insane happens, like the milk you're about
- 38:05Speaker 2: to dip it in becomes a whirlpool, storm clouds gather. Wow,
- 38:10Speaker 2: this is an Oreo commercial. Yeah, they should do that. Okay,
- 38:13Speaker 2: Now we have to kind of just remind Oreo that
- 38:15Speaker 2: we've created this and the money should be just to
- 38:19Speaker 2: where to write that to send the check. Absolutely, Okay.
- 38:22Speaker 2: So you don't like the Oreo flavor in a thing, No,
- 38:24Speaker 2: I don't, But I like the fact that Oreo is
- 38:26Speaker 2: now like, here's nacho cheese flavor Oreo. They didn't do that.
- 38:31Speaker 2: You're being hyperbolic. You're being hyperbolic.
- 38:34Speaker 3: They make like Lady Gaga chromatical oreos, which I don't
- 38:38Speaker 3: even know what those are.
- 38:39Speaker 2: I think those are just like vanilla with sprinkles probably,
- 38:42Speaker 2: but they do really like a sour patch kids Oreo,
- 38:45Speaker 2: which is one of the most disgusting foods I've ever
- 38:47Speaker 2: put in my mouth. It is revolted a sour Patch kid. No,
- 38:52Speaker 2: a sour Patch kid oreo? Oh bro, why did you
- 38:56Speaker 2: eat that? That's crazy because it was there.
- 39:01Speaker 3: I think really, fruity sour flavors are not meant to
- 39:04Speaker 3: be in any kind of baked good.
- 39:06Speaker 2: No, I think it's crazy. It's two worlds that were
- 39:08Speaker 2: never meant to cross paths. Wait, which sower Patch kids
- 39:12Speaker 2: like different fruits? Like different? I mean, first of all,
- 39:14Speaker 2: that's the beginning of the problem, because like there's the red,
- 39:17Speaker 2: the yellow, the green, the orange. No one likes the
- 39:20Speaker 2: green or the yellow. Is the green apple? I think
- 39:23Speaker 2: it's lime and lime artificial flavor. You've got to be
- 39:26Speaker 2: very careful.
- 39:27Speaker 3: Well, I could see like a key lime oreo, you know,
- 39:30Speaker 3: vanilla cookies and a lime interior.
- 39:33Speaker 2: But you're all over the place here because the key
- 39:36Speaker 2: lime oreo. And we're talking about the flavors of the
- 39:38Speaker 2: sour Patch kids, the sour Patch kids.
- 39:41Speaker 3: If I took the lime sower Patch kid, and I
- 39:44Speaker 3: created a kind of gestreak, Okay, sure, I created a
- 39:47Speaker 3: gas streak erb er blanc from its viscera, and I
- 39:51Speaker 3: made a cream and I put it between two Crispy
- 39:55Speaker 3: Vanilla cookies. I think it would be delicious.
- 39:58Speaker 2: But see, I think this is the problem with this
- 40:00Speaker 2: particular cookie, because I don't think sour Patch kids ever
- 40:03Speaker 2: really wants to name what their flavors are, because on
- 40:06Speaker 2: the bag, I don't think it tells you like cherry orange,
- 40:09Speaker 2: lemon lime. It's just it's the name of the children. Yes,
- 40:11Speaker 2: it's like the different children's names. Samantha, Christie, pass me
- 40:18Speaker 2: a Christy. Samantha's gross. What are the other two names? Oh,
- 40:25Speaker 2: they have to be boys. Yeah, you've got crazy it
- 40:27Speaker 2: you name this. I already named that. David oh oh
- 40:30Speaker 2: oh wait, who was Oh?
- 40:32Speaker 3: Well, his name is David too. I was gonna say,
- 40:33Speaker 3: who's the badass kid from that book?
- 40:35Speaker 2: What was like? No David? Oh? Oh? Ramona Ramona Ramona
- 40:40Speaker 2: from the book series.
- 40:41Speaker 3: Henry also from the same book series. And maybe what's
- 40:46Speaker 3: another man's name?
- 40:48Speaker 2: Ikabod Ichabod, Yeah, Ikobod, Christie Samantha, Yeah, I think I
- 40:54Speaker 2: already forgot the other name you gave. It actually doesn't
- 40:56Speaker 2: matter what was it, but I'd like to assign these
- 40:59Speaker 2: two colors. People can start spreading.
- 41:00Speaker 3: The word Christy Samantha Vinnie Vinnie.
- 41:06Speaker 2: Okay, you get to pick what color you are red, okay,
- 41:09Speaker 2: oh wow, spoiled. Okay. I think orange is Christie. Orange
- 41:14Speaker 2: is Christy. Yeah, yellow ichabod kind of a sickly kind
- 41:18Speaker 2: of icky like thickabod and io Samantha is now green. Yeah.
- 41:24Speaker 2: So let's kind of trying to get the word out
- 41:26Speaker 2: about that. I think, So, what did they do? What
- 41:28Speaker 2: do they do professionally? Yeah? What as a group do
- 41:31Speaker 2: they do something? They? I think they're an ad sales.
- 41:37Speaker 2: It's like, okay, I was thinking more along the lines
- 41:40Speaker 2: of solve mysteries. You're you're thinking of like a mad
- 41:43Speaker 2: men's situation. They smoke, they drink, and there's the children.
- 41:48Speaker 2: They are children, but they're bad. You know, they're sour.
- 41:52Speaker 2: I forgot about the kids element. Yeah, yeah, that's interesting.
- 41:55Speaker 2: You would love a sour patcha adult sour patch adults.
- 41:58Speaker 2: I wonder if they've ever tried that patchman, I don't know,
- 42:02Speaker 2: maybe they should. And it's huge, they're full size. I
- 42:07Speaker 2: guess a sour patch adult probably would need to be
- 42:09Speaker 2: like four or five inches tall, I think, because you
- 42:12Speaker 2: can't just have it be the same size as the children.
- 42:14Speaker 2: But then if it's four or five inches tall, then
- 42:17Speaker 2: the kid starts to look like an embryo. Okay, so
- 42:20Speaker 2: smaller for the adult maybe yees. So it's probably two
- 42:23Speaker 2: inches tall, two inches tall for the adult. But it
- 42:26Speaker 2: has to be demse it's gotta be thick. It don't
- 42:29Speaker 2: has to be two inches tall, but way half abound disgusting,
- 42:34Speaker 2: no beautiful, but okay, okay, I agree the lime flavored oreo,
- 42:40Speaker 2: but then it's just gotta be a lime Actually, I
- 42:43Speaker 2: think they do have a key lime oreo. To be honest,
- 42:45Speaker 2: it's not a sour patch. I think. I think it
- 42:47Speaker 2: sounds good. I like the risks they take. I think
- 42:50Speaker 2: it's a bad move. I think it's a bad look
- 42:53Speaker 2: for Nabisco. Oh my god. They and I also don't
- 42:58Speaker 2: under I have to imagine it's bad for the environment.
- 43:00Speaker 2: I'm switching up the flavors all the time.
- 43:02Speaker 3: I think it is, aren't they taking all the diet
- 43:05Speaker 3: of everything. Robert Kennedy and his.
- 43:08Speaker 2: His little tea dying crusade. Every crusade from him is
- 43:13Speaker 2: a dying crusade because of the way he sounds. He is.
- 43:18Speaker 2: It's terrifying and hopefully other things, Uh, there's he's croaking,
- 43:22Speaker 2: he's tan. Yeah, he's lifting weights and.
- 43:25Speaker 3: He's crazy, he's fucking do you know what I mean?
- 43:28Speaker 3: Like that man is pulling, he's cheating on his wife
- 43:31Speaker 3: every five minutes with some angenoux.
- 43:35Speaker 2: And no one, no one that's involved in this other
- 43:38Speaker 2: than him, is enjoying it. No, no, look, you're giving
- 43:41Speaker 2: everyone the benefit of the doubt here. I think some
- 43:43Speaker 2: of the like these women are falling in love with him,
- 43:46Speaker 2: and it must be like having sex with a honey
- 43:48Speaker 2: baked ham. I truly, it's generous. You think a honey
- 43:52Speaker 2: bake ham has moisture. Robert F. Kennedy is a moist man.
- 43:57Speaker 2: There's no way.
- 43:58Speaker 3: I never looked at him and thought he looks dry.
- 44:00Speaker 3: I think he's covered in a film at every turn,
- 44:04Speaker 3: like a honey baked If.
- 44:05Speaker 2: He has any level of moisture, it's like a dusty
- 44:08Speaker 2: can of peaches. Do you like find like rolling across
- 44:13Speaker 2: a splooshe from holes for some reason that I'm sorry,
- 44:20Speaker 2: But if I'm standing by him being dry as a bone, okay,
- 44:25Speaker 2: it's a real jerky element.
- 44:27Speaker 3: I think he's covered in a kind of tacky glaze.
- 44:32Speaker 3: I think the same way like hippopotamus is sweat, kind
- 44:35Speaker 3: of a waxy film.
- 44:38Speaker 2: I think that's what happens. And sure, on the inside
- 44:40Speaker 2: he might be dry and maybe even creaky, but on
- 44:43Speaker 2: the outside covered in a thin glaze. I think at
- 44:48Speaker 2: the at least his mouth is bone dry. Oh. Absolutely,
- 44:51Speaker 2: the tongue is furry, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
- 44:54Speaker 2: That mouth just ash, absolute cigarette, just like sandpaper. You
- 45:01Speaker 2: kiss him and your lips are smooth. Immediately afterwards, he
- 45:06Speaker 2: sucks some moisture out of you completely. Yeah, but I
- 45:09Speaker 2: feel like these women that he's cheating with. Yeah, enter
- 45:13Speaker 2: the situation thinking this is gonna be great. Absolutely, but
- 45:15Speaker 2: then it's, of course it's terrible. No, of course it is.
- 45:18Speaker 3: Every time I see him working out, I'm like, when
- 45:21Speaker 3: that man sleeps with you, he must heave, do you
- 45:24Speaker 3: know what I mean? Like, it's a it's a kind
- 45:26Speaker 3: of heaving experience.
- 45:29Speaker 2: You're getting dust blown in your face.
- 45:30Speaker 3: You're getting dust blown in your face, You're trapped underneath.
- 45:33Speaker 3: He's probably red as a cherry tomato right the blood.
- 45:37Speaker 2: His eyes are popping out of his head. But yeah,
- 45:39Speaker 2: eyes popping out of the head, bleeding on the in
- 45:42Speaker 2: the corners. Has somebody like flying through a windshield. Yeah,
- 45:50Speaker 2: his legs broken and backwards and bent. His nipples grating
- 46:01Speaker 2: nipples like thumb tacks. We're earning the explicit podcast nipples
- 46:10Speaker 2: like thumbtack, just forcing people to imagine r FK in
- 46:15Speaker 2: this situation. Our FK reach out. We need to answers
- 46:20Speaker 2: to these questions. Maloney flash, there's he looks so much
- 46:25Speaker 2: like a cured meat product to me. Yeah, and then
- 46:29Speaker 2: Cheryl stands by him. Oh, brother, Cheryl, Cheryl, she's another one.
- 46:37Speaker 2: Oh brother, she's another one.
- 46:39Speaker 3: I don't understand when people are married to absolute freaks
- 46:41Speaker 3: and they act like nothing is you know what I mean.
- 46:43Speaker 2: It's just like just looking completely the other wise. How
- 46:46Speaker 2: do you go to a party and look someone in
- 46:48Speaker 2: the eye. I can't imagine. I'd be so embarrassed to
- 46:51Speaker 2: even text a friend, yeah them knowing this is your partner.
- 46:55Speaker 2: Yeah I would. I would just have to stay at
- 46:58Speaker 2: home the rest of my life. And do you think
- 46:59Speaker 2: it would be worth it after we've well, we've just
- 47:02Speaker 2: described absolutely we now know why Cheryl's still in it. Yeah,
- 47:13Speaker 2: free meat, free meat meat for Cheryl. I wonder if
- 47:18Speaker 2: I would love to know, like, because I'm sure at
- 47:22Speaker 2: least in the past they would go to parties with
- 47:24Speaker 2: what I would assume our normal people, and I'm sure
- 47:27Speaker 2: every time he made a complete asshole of himself in conversation.
- 47:31Speaker 2: And what are those cars? Because I also assume at
- 47:33Speaker 2: some point she wasn't totally lost, which I feel like
- 47:37Speaker 2: she's lost at this point. I also am kind of
- 47:40Speaker 2: conflating her with her character on herby your enthusiasm, who's
- 47:42Speaker 2: so common sense? I's a mistake, Yeah, but I wonder
- 47:46Speaker 2: what those car rides home were like. They're probably like this. Well,
- 47:55Speaker 2: and that's him talking about his day and neither of
- 47:59Speaker 2: them can hear each other over him blasting arrowspid. I
- 48:04Speaker 2: think that's probably what it was.
- 48:06Speaker 3: Yeah, it's him ramming his feet Fred Flintstone style through
- 48:10Speaker 3: the bottom of the car and insisting he's gonna run
- 48:13Speaker 3: at home because real men don't let anyone carry them
- 48:17Speaker 3: or anything. And then he's talking about how Jewish people
- 48:23Speaker 3: are creating acid rain and black people are addicted to it.
- 48:29Speaker 3: And then he's talking about how fluoride is actually poisoned
- 48:32Speaker 3: from the eye of a giant and she's eating it
- 48:36Speaker 3: up at every turn because he thinks he's so beautiful
- 48:39Speaker 3: kind of like a contemporary.
- 48:41Speaker 2: Sculpture, tears rolling down her face, just joy. Yeah, just
- 48:46Speaker 2: hand on the window looking out. How did I find
- 48:48Speaker 2: this guy? Or maybe she's part of it? She might
- 48:50Speaker 2: be part I mean when you stick around in a
- 48:52Speaker 2: marriage like that, questions have to be asked. Yeah, sticking
- 48:56Speaker 2: around because physically he's sticky. He's just he probably is
- 48:59Speaker 2: sticking man. Yeah, maybe not moist, but sticky. Yeah. I
- 49:03Speaker 2: will say I just made it. I made a mistake.
- 49:05Speaker 3: We kind of I thought once you unwrap this gift
- 49:08Speaker 3: that you were starting to wrap up the presentation, and
- 49:11Speaker 3: so I was starting like the presentation the podcast.
- 49:14Speaker 2: I shut down the power point yeah.
- 49:16Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was starting to hug away a little bit,
- 49:18Speaker 3: and then I was like talking about Robert F. Kennedy,
- 49:20Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, surely I keep talking about
- 49:23Speaker 3: Robert Kennedy, but he doesn't want to because he unwrapped
- 49:25Speaker 3: the gift, and therefore the podcast is wrapping up.
- 49:28Speaker 2: No, but that was a mistake on my end. You
- 49:30Speaker 2: bring up RFK and that's the beginning of the podcast.
- 49:32Speaker 2: You think this is the start. We should talk a
- 49:35Speaker 2: little bit more about the tea. Oh yeah, absolutely, you
- 49:38Speaker 2: did bring this. Yeah, how often are you drinking a tea?
- 49:42Speaker 2: I drink tea all the time, all the time. I
- 49:43Speaker 2: mostly drink green teas.
- 49:45Speaker 3: And there's a Oh, there's a wonderful black tea what
- 49:48Speaker 3: called morning Thunder. Oh from Celestial Seasonings, Colorado based company.
- 49:55Speaker 3: If you ever get a chance to tour their factory
- 49:57Speaker 3: in Boulder, you have to take.
- 49:58Speaker 2: I love a factory tour. Oh so do I. I think
- 50:00Speaker 2: it's like, Oh, it's so much fun. I haven't done.
- 50:02Speaker 2: I think the last one I did was jelly Belly,
- 50:04Speaker 2: which unfortunately is a I think kind of a they're
- 50:08Speaker 2: so tied to Ronald Regan, that's a tough jelly belly
- 50:11Speaker 2: is He loved jelly bellies, and I think the the
- 50:16Speaker 2: urban legend is that they would give him the jelly
- 50:18Speaker 2: bellies to make his mouth move so they could put
- 50:20Speaker 2: in like a d r in speech, almost like the Yes,
- 50:26Speaker 2: they were shoving jelly bellies in Ragan's gums to make
- 50:29Speaker 2: him slop around a word. He was eating the buttered popcorn,
- 50:33Speaker 2: and then meanwhile.
- 50:35Speaker 3: Addressing the nation, I digress, you were begging me to
- 50:38Speaker 3: talk about tea and now.
- 50:41Speaker 2: Flapping. What I'm trying to do is always bring it
- 50:43Speaker 2: back to a conservative luned.
- 50:47Speaker 3: The tea is wonderful. I think it's a good tea.
- 50:50Speaker 3: It's a great tea for guests.
- 50:51Speaker 2: Okay.
- 50:52Speaker 3: I try to give a box to everyone I know,
- 50:53Speaker 3: so if I'm over their house, I know they have
- 50:55Speaker 3: good tea.
- 50:55Speaker 2: Oh what a good self serving idea, I think.
- 50:58Speaker 4: So.
- 50:58Speaker 2: I think it's great.
- 50:59Speaker 3: Sometimes they go over there and if I just want
- 51:00Speaker 3: an herbal tea, and they'll be like, I have Zinger.
- 51:04Speaker 2: I want Zinger. You want to glazed lemon loke, I
- 51:06Speaker 2: want to glaz want. I want a piece of tea
- 51:09Speaker 2: that tastes like a cup of taste. And it is.
- 51:13Speaker 3: It is so spot on, and I honest truly can't
- 51:16Speaker 3: believe I'm the second person to bring this to you.
- 51:18Speaker 3: I do blame my mother because she introduced me to
- 51:20Speaker 3: this tea. She bought me a couple of boxes and
- 51:22Speaker 3: she was like, you have to try.
- 51:23Speaker 2: It's delicious.
- 51:24Speaker 3: And I was under the impression that because I hadn't
- 51:27Speaker 3: heard of it and it was new for her, that
- 51:28Speaker 3: it's new for every right, But I should know from
- 51:30Speaker 3: past experiences that she's not always up on the newest things, right,
- 51:33Speaker 3: She's very behind. She's very behind For example, she once
- 51:36Speaker 3: texted me my brother and my sister in law, and
- 51:38Speaker 3: she said, when you guys come out here to visit,
- 51:42Speaker 3: we must take you to this new restaurant.
- 51:44Speaker 2: It's called Mendocino.
- 51:45Speaker 3: Farms, and they have a delicious vegan on me. Godless, yeah, absolutely,
- 51:52Speaker 3: god bless. And she was jazzed about Mendosino Farms. She
- 51:55Speaker 3: thought it was a local farmers.
- 51:58Speaker 2: Well they you know, they don't give you too much
- 52:00Speaker 2: information of Mendocine. They don't where is the farm? They
- 52:03Speaker 2: don't say anything. There's no farm, there's none. I don't
- 52:06Speaker 2: think there's a farm. Oh there's multiple, there's some multiple farms.
- 52:09Speaker 2: I don't know where they're sourcing their goods. Mendocino make
- 52:12Speaker 2: salads in the name, what are you talking about? You
- 52:14Speaker 2: don't know why any of that's coming from Mendocine. Are
- 52:17Speaker 2: you kidding me that.
- 52:18Speaker 3: Beyond beef is from Mendosino. I could chasee the Mendozino
- 52:22Speaker 3: air wherever I go. But anyway, I love his tea.
- 52:26Speaker 3: I think it's great. Put it in a mug, put
- 52:28Speaker 3: it in a I think it pairs wonderfully with Milano cookies.
- 52:32Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and if you want to put together a
- 52:34Speaker 3: little platter. Milano cook cook me. I'm in a weird
- 52:38Speaker 3: place with words. I'm still learning them. Milano cookies. Bochi chocolate.
- 52:43Speaker 2: Okay, I've never heard of a bochi chocolate. Never heard
- 52:46Speaker 2: of a bochi chocolate? What's that? Bochi chocolates are like
- 52:49Speaker 2: there Italy's answer to Ferrero rochet. Oh yes, I know
- 52:53Speaker 2: what a Bochi chocolate is. White is crispy. But there
- 52:56Speaker 2: is a hazelnut. There's like a whole hazel light crunch.
- 52:59Speaker 2: Oh yeah, your teeth do almost a pop. Well, you
- 53:04Speaker 2: look disgusted.
- 53:05Speaker 3: It's not like biting into a large grub, not bear grills.
- 53:08Speaker 3: It's a chocolate and it's wonderful, and I heard all
- 53:11Speaker 3: of you to try it. This is not a tea for.
- 53:16Speaker 2: This is not a tea to have with like dinner.
- 53:18Speaker 2: You know what I mean. This is not because it's
- 53:20Speaker 2: not going with a vegan bond me. Certainly, No, absolutely not.
- 53:23Speaker 2: That's more of a greene, I would say. So, this
- 53:25Speaker 2: is a tea you have after dinner with a few
- 53:28Speaker 2: chocolates and a few friends and a deck of cards
- 53:31Speaker 2: and conversation, great.
- 53:33Speaker 3: Conversation in your conversation pit and and your and your whippets.
- 53:40Speaker 3: Your Italian greyhounds are running around. Your whippets are running
- 53:45Speaker 3: around the house, tearing it up. You have birds, they're
- 53:50Speaker 3: they're nipping at your guests too.
- 53:52Speaker 2: You're not apologized. I'm not apologizing.
- 53:54Speaker 3: I simply say they have a hurting instinct. It's not true.
- 53:58Speaker 3: It's absolutely not true.
- 54:00Speaker 2: And when there's music, oh there's there's Gregorian chant again,
- 54:06Speaker 2: too loud to hear over, too loud to hear over.
- 54:09Speaker 2: People are yelling at each other and it's driving the whippe.
- 54:11Speaker 2: It's mad. That's why they're fighting.
- 54:13Speaker 3: And that's the whippets are going mad because of the chant.
- 54:16Speaker 3: And to top it all off, you have a nice
- 54:19Speaker 3: hot cup of tazz oak Laize lemon loaf.
- 54:22Speaker 2: It is such a good tea and it's you know,
- 54:24Speaker 2: it's like naturally sweet, which is always shocking to me,
- 54:29Speaker 2: just like us, just like you and I? Hey are you?
- 54:31Speaker 2: Has everybody has anyone ever brought a repeat gift before?
- 54:35Speaker 2: Other than this? I feel like somebody has, And I
- 54:39Speaker 2: wish I could on ealise. If you have any idea
- 54:42Speaker 2: trying to make me feel better, I'm gonna kill myself.
- 54:44Speaker 4: I don't think so.
- 54:45Speaker 2: But Vinnie. I just think this makes you extra special,
- 54:47Speaker 2: so you think absolutely why I just disagree on that point.
- 54:51Speaker 2: Donalice is just trying to That's what I would say
- 54:53Speaker 2: to a kid who like pissed himself like in front
- 54:56Speaker 2: of the class, like no one else pissed themselves. A
- 55:00Speaker 2: unique your star. No, I think this might be the
- 55:05Speaker 2: first repeat gift, and I think it's because it speaks
- 55:08Speaker 2: to the to the quality of the glazed lemon loaf tea.
- 55:11Speaker 2: Do they make another baked tea? Thank you? I'm very
- 55:15Speaker 2: curious they do.
- 55:16Speaker 3: I believe the only other baked good is the vanilla maquon.
- 55:20Speaker 3: Oh interested vanilla, which I'm not as interested in, No,
- 55:22Speaker 3: neither ofm I because it's what it's vanilla, simply vanilla.
- 55:25Speaker 2: There's no other note to that makes a maquon. A
- 55:28Speaker 2: ma is the texture, like that's the most of it.
- 55:33Speaker 2: It's the egg white, it's the way it crunches, and
- 55:35Speaker 2: it's like chewy in the middle. It's three ingredients, what egg, sugar, vanilla?
- 55:41Speaker 2: Shut up? Maybe color, I think so maybe color? Maybe
- 55:48Speaker 2: color if you want to go get extra fans. Otherwise,
- 55:51Speaker 2: it's just a white cookie.
- 55:52Speaker 3: Me in a boardroom in the early sixties, trying to
- 55:54Speaker 3: integrate a TV show. Maybe color, Maybe we try color.
- 55:58Speaker 3: Got a crazy idea of the idea.
- 56:03Speaker 2: Yeah, that that feels like a bad idea. On Toaso's part, Toaso, Tazzo, Taso,
- 56:09Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's the question that we're all asking.
- 56:12Speaker 2: Let me look at it. You got a guys, close
- 56:15Speaker 2: look at that.
- 56:16Speaker 3: It feels something about It feels Eastern European to me.
- 56:19Speaker 3: So I would say, I would say like, and then
- 56:24Speaker 3: backwards it's like was Zette and I think, and that's
- 56:28Speaker 3: exactly what it is.
- 56:30Speaker 2: I would have guessed my initial guests would have been Rago.
- 56:32Speaker 2: But Taso, Tazo, What did you say, Tezo?
- 56:39Speaker 3: You're never gonna make it over there? Let me say something,
- 56:41Speaker 3: You're never gonna make it in the Baltic States. The
- 56:44Speaker 3: color of the box, which I also think needs to
- 56:46Speaker 3: be discussed.
- 56:47Speaker 2: Yes, beautiful, gorgeous, although there's an element to this that
- 56:50Speaker 2: I'm a little like it feels a little off brand,
- 56:53Speaker 2: which is the splat.
- 56:54Speaker 3: You're talking about the blood spatter, Yes, yeah, yeah, you're
- 56:56Speaker 3: talking about the Dexter. You're talking about the Dexter dark
- 57:00Speaker 3: purple blood splatter behind lemon there's just a blast of
- 57:05Speaker 3: purple goo. I feel like they had this box and
- 57:08Speaker 3: it was perfectly designed and it was beautiful, and women
- 57:11Speaker 3: designed it, and then a man looked at it and
- 57:14Speaker 3: he was like, yeah, lady, step aside, and he was like,
- 57:19Speaker 3: the bread doesn't look mean. He was like, the bread
- 57:22Speaker 3: needs to look badass or people aren't going to buy this.
- 57:24Speaker 3: It needs to look like it's about to walk into
- 57:28Speaker 3: an m m A ring and fight. And so he
- 57:31Speaker 3: was like, let's throw some splats behind the bread.
- 57:35Speaker 2: And it looks like a character selects screen in a
- 57:37Speaker 2: fighting game. It really does.
- 57:38Speaker 3: It's like tech in, Yeah, pick your five shirt and
- 57:41Speaker 3: it's glazed lemon loaf.
- 57:43Speaker 2: That's a fighting game I could get you. Absolutely makes goods.
- 57:47Speaker 2: It's a Nina from Techan slapping a glaze lemon loaf
- 57:50Speaker 2: like this, like glazeed lemon loaf, ripping someone's head off.
- 57:54Speaker 2: Oh like more reality.
- 57:56Speaker 3: Yeah, it drags the spine out of someone. It doesn't
- 57:59Speaker 3: have any arms or anything. It just sits there. You
- 58:01Speaker 3: can't see what it's doing. It's all telekinetic and it's
- 58:04Speaker 3: tearing someone to pieces.
- 58:06Speaker 2: But yeah, that is an odd element to this box.
- 58:09Speaker 2: I feel like maybe I mean, what else do you
- 58:12Speaker 2: put behind this? A couple of lemons and a bottle
- 58:16Speaker 2: of vanilla?
- 58:16Speaker 3: A couple of lemons. A couple of lemons euphemism for
- 58:20Speaker 3: gay people in the early forties. There's a couple, a
- 58:22Speaker 3: couple of lemons over there. I do think it needs
- 58:26Speaker 3: to be dark behind the lemon loaf because the background.
- 58:29Speaker 3: Stop yell at me, because the lemon loaf is so light,
- 58:35Speaker 3: you can't just have the right behind it. So I
- 58:37Speaker 3: would do I would do purple, and I would bring
- 58:41Speaker 3: it up to make it darker with the lemon loaf thing,
- 58:45Speaker 3: the rest of the box white, with the kind of
- 58:47Speaker 3: light ome bray at the bottom right.
- 58:48Speaker 2: Kind of a downpour, caught in the rain, kind of
- 58:52Speaker 2: a cut in the rain downpour. That makes sense for ot. Yeah,
- 58:56Speaker 2: you're gonna drink. You know, you're watching the rain outside.
- 59:00Speaker 2: We're painting a picture. You do on a podcast, you
- 59:03Speaker 2: paint a picture for the listener, Oh for the I was,
- 59:06Speaker 2: Oh my god, here's one thing about me is I'm dumb?
- 59:09Speaker 2: Because you said you dumbis Mantle.
- 59:11Speaker 3: I thought you were talking about how you painted, and
- 59:13Speaker 3: I said, wonderful. Tell me about what you tell me
- 59:15Speaker 3: about your work.
- 59:18Speaker 2: Uh No, we're just we're you know, we're trying to
- 59:20Speaker 2: be as visual for the listener as possible. Yeah, you
- 59:24Speaker 2: sit down and you're in a big cozy sweater. You
- 59:27Speaker 2: have strep throat. You have strep throat, and your whippets
- 59:30Speaker 2: are running around sixty miles an hour constant. There's always whippets.
- 59:37Speaker 2: Are you imagining the whippets fresh from the race track? Yeah?
- 59:43Speaker 2: Those are racing dogs, aren't they. I hope. I feel
- 59:46Speaker 2: like if they look like that and they weren't for racing,
- 59:48Speaker 2: if they don't move quickly. But luck, you're built like
- 59:50Speaker 2: an antelope. What are you for? You're not for cuddling?
- 59:53Speaker 2: I know that much.
- 59:54Speaker 3: Sharp ass dogs, they are sharp, oh points all over
- 59:56Speaker 3: the place. You run your hand down the spine and
- 59:58Speaker 3: it's like playing a xylophone.
- 1:00:00Speaker 2: It's insane, but you know, yeah, glad they're here. Glad
- 1:00:07Speaker 2: they're here.
- 1:00:08Speaker 3: Glad I keep linking at their camera. Yeah, fucked up,
- 1:00:12Speaker 3: but they keep looking at the camera.
- 1:00:13Speaker 2: You can use that for like a rescue organization, animal rescue. Yeah,
- 1:00:17Speaker 2: that footage will be clipped out and adopt. Don't shop,
- 1:00:20Speaker 2: find a whipp it. Yeah, skinny dogs. I run a
- 1:00:24Speaker 2: rescue only for skinny dogs. I bet that exists. They've
- 1:00:28Speaker 2: got one for everything, absolutely, And I do think that
- 1:00:31Speaker 2: those racing dogs, when they're no longer race worthy, I'm
- 1:00:35Speaker 2: sure whatever cruel owner has them just sends them off
- 1:00:38Speaker 2: to die. Yeah. Glue factory. Glue factory probably what still happened?
- 1:00:44Speaker 2: Did that ever happen?
- 1:00:45Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 1:00:45Speaker 3: I have it because you derive glue from the collagens
- 1:00:48Speaker 3: in the hoof right right.
- 1:00:51Speaker 2: But postly that situation where it's like, oh, we can't
- 1:00:53Speaker 2: use this horse anymore, or is it like we're breeding
- 1:00:55Speaker 2: the horse for the glue. Oh?
- 1:00:57Speaker 3: I don't think they were ever breeding horses for a glue.
- 1:01:00Speaker 3: I think animal brye products. And let's get into it. Yes,
- 1:01:03Speaker 3: animal byproducts after the slaughter of the animal that were
- 1:01:06Speaker 3: not fit for human consumption were sent to the glues
- 1:01:10Speaker 3: to be derived. Okay, that makes a little more sense,
- 1:01:12Speaker 3: I think so, which is why that Elmer's logo is
- 1:01:15Speaker 3: a bull.
- 1:01:16Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is so dark. Think about it. Wow,
- 1:01:21Speaker 2: dark but dryes clear. They really they make it seem
- 1:01:24Speaker 2: such a fun He's like the sun. He's like, I'm
- 1:01:29Speaker 2: happy to be sacrificing myself. Absolutely, but it's just like
- 1:01:31Speaker 2: the sun on the sunscreen bottles, Like that's what's trying
- 1:01:33Speaker 2: to kill you, right, you know what I mean. But
- 1:01:35Speaker 2: at least that like the sun isn't dying. Well, actually
- 1:01:39Speaker 2: the sun is dying.
- 1:01:40Speaker 3: Yeah, very that is absolutely dying. But anyway, No, they're
- 1:01:44Speaker 3: not melting dogs down for glue. They're just burying them
- 1:01:47Speaker 3: or burning them.
- 1:01:48Speaker 2: Just sending them off into the city to buy children.
- 1:01:50Speaker 2: There are organizations that save greyhounds. Uh right, right kind
- 1:01:56Speaker 2: of uh yeah, because again these people just breed them
- 1:01:59Speaker 2: to chase the little thing around the track. Yeah, and
- 1:02:01Speaker 2: then it's like their career is over. What do they do?
- 1:02:03Speaker 2: You know, it's like a pro ballplayer, Yeah, with NBA players, Yeah,
- 1:02:07Speaker 2: Blue Factory.
- 1:02:08Speaker 3: Could you imagine if it was dogs, they become correspondence
- 1:02:11Speaker 3: to talk about dog racing, Like there's a Charles Barkley of.
- 1:02:16Speaker 2: Start their own clothing line this kind of thing. Oh
- 1:02:19Speaker 2: my god, it's a possibility for snow one. It would
- 1:02:24Speaker 2: not be body inclusive. A greyhound starts a clothing line
- 1:02:26Speaker 2: and oh yeah, that's the waist is all snatched in bulldogs,
- 1:02:30Speaker 2: begging them to make clothes that are more inclusive, posting
- 1:02:33Speaker 2: about them, just calling them out constantly, and they deserve
- 1:02:39Speaker 2: to be called out. They do. It's messed up Italian snobs.
- 1:02:42Speaker 2: Italian snobs, which, by the way, are the miniature versions
- 1:02:45Speaker 2: of aun. Oh so the regular greyhound comes from elsewhere.
- 1:02:49Speaker 2: The regular greyhound is big. I don't know where it's from.
- 1:02:51Speaker 3: But the whipp it rush off. But the whipp it
- 1:02:58Speaker 3: is very tiny. That it's a tiny from Italy. So
- 1:03:01Speaker 3: the whipp it is a greyhound, yeah, in.
- 1:03:03Speaker 2: Italian, but he like tiny, It's like a toy greyhound.
- 1:03:05Speaker 2: I thought those were separate breeds. I think they are.
- 1:03:09Speaker 2: You just told me a whippet is a greyhound.
- 1:03:10Speaker 3: Oh my god, a whippet I think is a whippet
- 1:03:16Speaker 3: and an Italian greyhound. Because if it is, then yes.
- 1:03:19Speaker 2: Now you're asking me. You presented this information. Is a
- 1:03:23Speaker 2: whippet an Italian greyhound on a lease.
- 1:03:26Speaker 4: They are different, they are, but they're both considered sighthounds.
- 1:03:30Speaker 2: So sighthound, yes, they're part of the same family. Yeah, okay,
- 1:03:35Speaker 2: sighthound is different than a miniature greyhound, is different than
- 1:03:39Speaker 2: a whippet. Yes, let's just I think we need to consolidate.
- 1:03:44Speaker 2: Oh yeah, one greyhound and let them breed. Yeah, just
- 1:03:47Speaker 2: let those ones breed. We've got too many of these things.
- 1:03:50Speaker 2: There are dogs we don't need. Hugs, the poor pug,
- 1:03:53Speaker 2: the plight of the plug.
- 1:03:54Speaker 3: God, every time I hear one of those things breathe,
- 1:03:56Speaker 3: a pug or like a French French bulldog, terrifying, just
- 1:04:00Speaker 3: bread to die for people to squeeze a wolf into
- 1:04:02Speaker 3: the shape of a human baby.
- 1:04:05Speaker 2: If that it's like a sour dough loaf. It's like
- 1:04:10Speaker 2: a barely a shape. Yeah, it's barely a shape. I mean,
- 1:04:13Speaker 2: God blessed. We love all that. I love dogs, but
- 1:04:16Speaker 2: these the ones that are the fact that we keep
- 1:04:18Speaker 2: breeding them, yeah, is crazy and making them even smaller
- 1:04:22Speaker 2: and less able to survive. Yeah, poor little things, poor,
- 1:04:27Speaker 2: the poor DearS or the poor DearS. Well, is there
- 1:04:31Speaker 2: anything left to say about tea? I git me here.
- 1:04:36Speaker 2: I'm glad you're giving this a good effort.
- 1:04:38Speaker 3: Okay, The box says, revel in a dessert worthy tea
- 1:04:42Speaker 3: with tangy notes of lemon and velvety creamy vanilla. And
- 1:04:46Speaker 3: at every turn they're right. It is glazed lemon loaf
- 1:04:50Speaker 3: flavor with other natural flavor. God only knows what that is.
- 1:04:54Speaker 2: Yeah, that's always you know it starts to raise some
- 1:04:57Speaker 2: red flags. The ingredients. Can you guess the first ingredient?
- 1:05:00Speaker 2: Do you think in claze?
- 1:05:01Speaker 3: Lemon, left tea, black tea, apples and apples? Okay, the
- 1:05:06Speaker 3: first ingredient is apples, natural flavor, green rebos oh, which
- 1:05:09Speaker 3: is really good tea, orange, peel, cammameal, rose, petals, liquorice, root, ginger.
- 1:05:13Speaker 2: No lemon, no lemon at all. So they're taking the
- 1:05:17Speaker 2: apple and maybe using the acidic element of an apple
- 1:05:21Speaker 2: to create lemon or I mean natural flavors. That covers
- 1:05:25Speaker 2: a lot of ground. That could mean almost anything. There's
- 1:05:28Speaker 2: no way to know. Imported from Morocco. Morocco. Yeah, excellent tea.
- 1:05:33Speaker 2: What else do you want me to say? I'll do more?
- 1:05:35Speaker 2: What's more about the tea? No? Oh, here's and here's
- 1:05:39Speaker 2: what it says in the back. Are you ready? It's
- 1:05:42Speaker 2: kind of cheeky. Yes, we've got our own thing brewing.
- 1:05:44Speaker 2: Oh boy.
- 1:05:46Speaker 3: We're on a quest to be the most bold. It's
- 1:05:49Speaker 3: in bold, unexpected teamakers. We're also in bold, always curious,
- 1:05:54Speaker 3: always questioning, what's this bold flavor? What's that bold aroma?
- 1:06:00Speaker 3: We love to dive in and stir things up.
- 1:06:02Speaker 2: We're half curious kid, half intrepid explore.
- 1:06:05Speaker 3: Who wait, and there's a third losing meita though half
- 1:06:08Speaker 3: undaunted alchemist. Yes, one and a half that spirit. We
- 1:06:14Speaker 3: bring it to tea. We do it through unexpected blends
- 1:06:17Speaker 3: with a twist, so you can bold taste vibrant, undiscovered
- 1:06:21Speaker 3: flavors the world has stashed away.
- 1:06:24Speaker 2: You just think of the emotionless copywriter typing that out. No,
- 1:06:27Speaker 2: she was feeling herself when she was typing this. Are
- 1:06:29Speaker 2: you kidding me? Very? We do things a little differently
- 1:06:32Speaker 2: around here. Yeah, you can't read that without smiling. Dessert delight.
- 1:06:37Speaker 2: She said. One thing about me is I love wine
- 1:06:41Speaker 2: and I'm gonna drink it. Every Dane's like get so.
- 1:06:43Speaker 2: When they unveiled a new wine glass, they unveiled a
- 1:06:47Speaker 2: new one. When Apple unveiled their new wine.
- 1:06:50Speaker 3: Glass, when Apple unveiled their thinnest wine glass yet, I
- 1:06:53Speaker 3: was beside myself.
- 1:06:57Speaker 2: Okay, I think it's tarting to play a game. God,
- 1:07:00Speaker 2: Praise God, Praise this tea. I need a number between
- 1:07:04Speaker 2: one and ten from you, between one and ten. Yes,
- 1:07:07Speaker 2: I'm going to give you six. Okay. I have to
- 1:07:10Speaker 2: do some light calculating to get our game pieces. Okay,
- 1:07:13Speaker 2: so right now, you can promote, recommend, do whatever you
- 1:07:16Speaker 2: want with the microphone. I'll be right back. Yeah, I'm
- 1:07:19Speaker 2: going to be in a movie that comes out on
- 1:07:21Speaker 2: Amazon Prime Video at the end of this month that
- 1:07:24Speaker 2: we're recording this in January called You're Cordially Invited, and
- 1:07:29Speaker 2: I'm doing a half hour with Zach Zimmerman at the
- 1:07:31Speaker 2: Kennedy Center on February twenty. First, why am I looking
- 1:07:36Speaker 2: at the TV? I should be looking at that.
- 1:07:38Speaker 3: This whole time, I've been looking at the camera, and
- 1:07:40Speaker 3: then I started looking at the timer, so I start
- 1:07:42Speaker 3: looking like you have a vision trouble or soth. Oh,
- 1:07:45Speaker 3: it's gonna look like context. I have big stupid eyes,
- 1:07:48Speaker 3: so it's gonna look like a vision trouble.
- 1:07:50Speaker 2: Terrified. I was cock eyed for years, but I was
- 1:07:52Speaker 2: a kid. Oh, because they're like when you open them
- 1:07:54Speaker 2: really wide, it just truly is like, what does cock
- 1:07:57Speaker 2: eyed mean?
- 1:07:58Speaker 3: I don't know, it might be offensive. Cock eyed once
- 1:08:01Speaker 3: another euphemism for being gay. Cock eyed lemon loaf, Yeah,
- 1:08:06Speaker 3: you cock eyed lemon loaf? Yeah, So I guess that's
- 1:08:11Speaker 3: the stuff. I also platonic on Apple TV. Plus I'm
- 1:08:13Speaker 3: in that, So is that thank you beautifully.
- 1:08:16Speaker 2: Use time. We're gonna play a game called Gift or
- 1:08:21Speaker 2: a Curse. I'm going to name three things. You'll tell
- 1:08:24Speaker 2: me if there are a gift or a curse and why,
- 1:08:27Speaker 2: and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong,
- 1:08:28Speaker 2: because there are correct answers and you can lose, so
- 1:08:31Speaker 2: be careful, all right, all right? Number one, This is
- 1:08:34Speaker 2: from a listener named Brooklyn. Gift or a curse. When
- 1:08:37Speaker 2: recipes say enjoy in the last step of the instructions,
- 1:08:42Speaker 2: that's a curse. Why don't tell me what to do?
- 1:08:46Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Enjoy is crazy. I haven't
- 1:08:48Speaker 2: made your little recipe yet. Like, don't don't tell someone
- 1:08:52Speaker 2: to enjoy it. Invite them to enjoy it. Say enjoy,
- 1:08:56Speaker 2: but no worries. If not, say enjoy if you feel enjoy, girl,
- 1:09:03Speaker 2: stop yelling. I would say a curse. Correct. Correct, it's
- 1:09:08Speaker 2: a curse when you say enjoy at the end, you're
- 1:09:11Speaker 2: I mean, first of all, the recipe writer is assuming
- 1:09:15Speaker 2: a lot about themselves. It's a real cocky move to
- 1:09:18Speaker 2: be like, maybe I won't enjoy it. They don't know
- 1:09:22Speaker 2: if I'm going to enjoy it or not exactly, so
- 1:09:24Speaker 2: maybe wait until I've tried it to and then say
- 1:09:27Speaker 2: did you enjoy? Follow up or instead of an exclamation point,
- 1:09:31Speaker 2: maybe a question mark. Enjoy. Enjoy really call into question
- 1:09:34Speaker 2: everything that you've done. Yeah, be humble, Be humble. That's
- 1:09:38Speaker 2: ultimately what everyone needs to be doing. And when I
- 1:09:42Speaker 2: say see the word enjoy at the end, the sense
- 1:09:44Speaker 2: of professionalism has gone out the window. I no longer
- 1:09:48Speaker 2: trust you as a cook or baker. You're now a friend.
- 1:09:52Speaker 2: Take that guy theory. I hope his recipes. Does he
- 1:09:57Speaker 2: have recipes? Does guy share recipes? I don't know. I
- 1:10:00Speaker 2: don't think he has recipes. I think his recipes are
- 1:10:02Speaker 2: like cover it in gees and tear it up, brother,
- 1:10:04Speaker 2: throw it on the grill, Throw it on the grill,
- 1:10:06Speaker 2: Bobby Flay. Okay, Enjoy is a curse. It's a ridiculous
- 1:10:11Speaker 2: thing to put at the end of anything very well played.
- 1:10:14Speaker 2: Number two This is from unknown, which is always so
- 1:10:17Speaker 2: eerie to me. Gift or a curse. Barely keeping alive
- 1:10:21Speaker 2: a houseplant that always looks to be on the verge
- 1:10:23Speaker 2: of dying.
- 1:10:25Speaker 3: Oh my god, this one's hard because I do have
- 1:10:29Speaker 3: a plant like that. I love bringing it back because
- 1:10:35Speaker 3: I feel how I imagine a surgeon feels after resuscitating
- 1:10:39Speaker 3: someone or something. I would say, I would say it's
- 1:10:43Speaker 3: a gift for me and a curse for the plant ultimately.
- 1:10:48Speaker 3: But I do find it to be a beautiful experience.
- 1:10:51Speaker 3: And when the plant, when the plant quickly responds to
- 1:10:54Speaker 3: my giving it water, I'm like, oh, I did the
- 1:10:56Speaker 3: right thing. But then inevitably it drinks the water too quickly.
- 1:11:00Speaker 3: I don't water it in time, and it droops again.
- 1:11:03Speaker 3: And so it's just kind of this endless cycle of
- 1:11:04Speaker 3: abuse between me and the plant. But I do feel
- 1:11:08Speaker 3: like it's a gift. Yeah, but it's a curse.
- 1:11:11Speaker 2: Correct, It's a gift. I mean what you've just described.
- 1:11:15Speaker 2: You can have your own little psycho situation. You have
- 1:11:17Speaker 2: this captive. You get to play your own little psycho
- 1:11:20Speaker 2: game with the plant. Also, it's a nice way to
- 1:11:23Speaker 2: let your friends know that you're hanging by a thread.
- 1:11:25Speaker 2: You invite them over and they see that out of
- 1:11:28Speaker 2: the corner of their eye you're serving them this tea.
- 1:11:30Speaker 2: It seems okay. Then they're like, I think something is
- 1:11:33Speaker 2: going on with Finny, so let's all be sensitive to
- 1:11:37Speaker 2: him right now. Reach out when you can. What kind
- 1:11:41Speaker 2: of plant is yours that you abuse. There is one
- 1:11:45Speaker 2: plant that I have in the house that like really
- 1:11:47Speaker 2: lets me know that it's getting sick, which I appreciate actually,
- 1:11:52Speaker 2: because the rest of them kind of keep to themselves
- 1:11:54Speaker 2: until they're dying, until they're basically off the right beyond help.
- 1:11:59Speaker 2: This one. It has kind of some dark leaves and
- 1:12:02Speaker 2: it totally freaks out when it's dry. I put it
- 1:12:05Speaker 2: under some water. Half hour later it's back and healthy again.
- 1:12:09Speaker 2: So I do appreciate being able to it gives. It's
- 1:12:12Speaker 2: a bit of a God complex situation, absolutely, just like
- 1:12:16Speaker 2: you depend on me, and what is God if not complex? Yes,
- 1:12:21Speaker 2: so kind of the psycho element of it ultimately is
- 1:12:25Speaker 2: a gift. Okay, you've gone two out of three. We'll
- 1:12:29Speaker 2: see what happens with this third one. This is from
- 1:12:31Speaker 2: a listener named Paul. Oh, this is interesting. This is
- 1:12:34Speaker 2: kind of connected to the last one. We've got a
- 1:12:36Speaker 2: dying theme gift or a curse. People who tell you
- 1:12:39Speaker 2: they have been legally declared dead for fifteen minutes. Oh
- 1:12:44Speaker 2: my god.
- 1:12:45Speaker 3: Well, okay, and you're asking about not the experience itself,
- 1:12:48Speaker 3: but the people who tell you about their experience are dead.
- 1:12:54Speaker 2: I would say it's a curse.
- 1:12:57Speaker 3: If they all saw the same thing, I would say
- 1:12:59Speaker 3: it's a gift, but they rarely do. And also, if
- 1:13:04Speaker 3: you were dead for fifteen minutes, you weren't dead. I'm
- 1:13:08Speaker 3: here to tell you that you were barely alive, which
- 1:13:12Speaker 3: is different dead for fifteen minutes. If your brain didn't
- 1:13:15Speaker 3: have oxygen for fifteen minutes, you would not be telling
- 1:13:17Speaker 3: me the fun story about you being dead for fifteen minutes. Yeah, Vinnie,
- 1:13:24Speaker 3: I can't believe this move. I think you might be
- 1:13:26Speaker 3: the second winner in a row.
- 1:13:28Speaker 2: The game is falling apart. Are you kidding me? It's
- 1:13:31Speaker 2: absolutely a curse, Yes, very much, for the same reasons.
- 1:13:35Speaker 2: You were not dead there simply were not dead unless
- 1:13:39Speaker 2: legally declared. What are we talking about. Did you have
- 1:13:42Speaker 2: a notary come in and stamp the certificate? Like, sit
- 1:13:48Speaker 2: up your body? Did they get your somebody to come
- 1:13:50Speaker 2: identify your body that quickly? Yeah, you weren't dead, baby, No,
- 1:13:54Speaker 2: you were just you were in between states exactly second
- 1:13:58Speaker 2: of all fifteen minutes. Anyway, anybody can do anything for
- 1:14:01Speaker 2: fifteen minutes. It's not that impressive come back when it's
- 1:14:03Speaker 2: been like six hours. I was dead for six hours. Okay,
- 1:14:06Speaker 2: now I'm starting to believe you were dead.
- 1:14:07Speaker 3: A seal can hold its breath for fifteen minutes. Do
- 1:14:10Speaker 3: you think I care if you died for fifteen minutes?
- 1:14:12Speaker 2: Hold my breath for fifteen minutes. I haven't tried, but
- 1:14:14Speaker 2: I'm sure I could. We'll get there. Get there, gig.
- 1:14:18Speaker 2: It might lead to me being legally declared dead for
- 1:14:21Speaker 2: fifteen minutes. But then I've done two things in a day,
- 1:14:23Speaker 2: of course, and what has this person done? Died? It's nothing.
- 1:14:26Speaker 2: All you have to do is lie down. It's not
- 1:14:27Speaker 2: interesting now, of course not. It's boring. You should have
- 1:14:31Speaker 2: been doing You could have been doing something with your
- 1:14:32Speaker 2: time with those fifteen minutes. You could have painted a
- 1:14:35Speaker 2: picture called a friend. Instead you were lying on a
- 1:14:38Speaker 2: table somewhere, ready to brag about this at a party.
- 1:14:41Speaker 2: Could have done like sixteen backflips. You could have done
- 1:14:43Speaker 2: at least sixteen very slow backflips. Wait are they faster?
- 1:14:50Speaker 2: I've never done a backlip. I feel like a backflip
- 1:14:52Speaker 2: takes about three seconds. You can do a backlib. I
- 1:14:55Speaker 2: can do it. Yeah. That's kind of how I launched
- 1:14:57Speaker 2: this podcast. I came to the network and I said,
- 1:15:00Speaker 2: would you like a host who can do a backflip,
- 1:15:01Speaker 2: as Dylan adlerman on you he has Can he do
- 1:15:04Speaker 2: a backflip? Have you not? He?
- 1:15:06Speaker 3: He had this whole debacle where he was He went
- 1:15:09Speaker 3: to Universal Studios and there were a bunch of kids
- 1:15:12Speaker 3: gathered around watching the They were like Harry Potter dancers
- 1:15:15Speaker 3: doing their little dance and Dylan walks in between the
- 1:15:19Speaker 3: audience and those dancers and does a flip and then
- 1:15:23Speaker 3: like like walks away and like shrugs, and he got
- 1:15:27Speaker 3: so much hate online. Is the funniest thing in the world.
- 1:15:31Speaker 3: How did I miss?
- 1:15:32Speaker 2: It?
- 1:15:32Speaker 3: Was like, look at the attention whore doing backflips at
- 1:15:35Speaker 3: Universal in front of children, and I can't believe it
- 1:15:39Speaker 3: was really funny. Just look up Dylan Adler backflip.
- 1:15:42Speaker 2: It also makes perfect sense for Dylan Adler as a
- 1:15:44Speaker 2: person who's such a sweetheart but also uh, can get
- 1:15:50Speaker 2: attention very quickly, addicted to being seen, yes, absolutely, but
- 1:15:54Speaker 2: also like not doesn't want to be seen. He's such
- 1:15:57Speaker 2: a complicated person in such a fun one. Hey, uh
- 1:16:00Speaker 2: huh to be in the middle of a Universal Studios
- 1:16:03Speaker 2: showing up a bunch of teens, I'm so excited for
- 1:16:05Speaker 2: you to see this eventually, you're really gonna love it. Well,
- 1:16:08Speaker 2: you won the game. I don't know what to say.
- 1:16:10Speaker 2: It's a little upsetting. We've got to make the game harder.
- 1:16:12Speaker 2: Onal's now Anali's has their own version of gift or
- 1:16:15Speaker 2: a curse? Onalise, what is yours for today?
- 1:16:18Speaker 4: Gift or a curse? Clapping for Nicole Kidman at AMC
- 1:16:22Speaker 4: do you want to go?
- 1:16:23Speaker 2: Where should I go? You go? Curse? Are you kidding me? Wow?
- 1:16:28Speaker 2: What year? What year is it? At this point? The
- 1:16:30Speaker 2: fact that people are still doing this, I'm sorry to
- 1:16:33Speaker 2: rain on everybody's parade, but I'm I'm sorry the fun
- 1:16:38Speaker 2: we had with the Nicole Kidman in those first two
- 1:16:40Speaker 2: weeks of twenty twenty two or whatever the hell. Yeah,
- 1:16:44Speaker 2: we've got to put it behind us, I think.
- 1:16:47Speaker 3: And I was a little thrown at first because you
- 1:16:50Speaker 3: did say, clapping for Nicole Kidman. I thought, like in general,
- 1:16:53Speaker 3: like especially early on, it was beautiful. It was like
- 1:16:55Speaker 3: the pledge of allegiance for people who were kind of lonely.
- 1:16:59Speaker 3: And now it's just especially because they've cut it short.
- 1:17:02Speaker 3: You go to MC now and it's like two seconds,
- 1:17:04Speaker 3: like we love movies, and they cut it and it's
- 1:17:06Speaker 3: like a trailer, right, so I would say it is
- 1:17:08Speaker 3: now cross the line into curse.
- 1:17:10Speaker 2: It's a curse territory of like dressing up as Walter
- 1:17:14Speaker 2: White for Halloween, where it's just like, I think we
- 1:17:17Speaker 2: left that behind us a long time ago. Actually we're different.
- 1:17:20Speaker 2: That's insane.
- 1:17:21Speaker 3: If someone dressed like Walter White for Halloween now, that
- 1:17:23Speaker 3: would be amazing.
- 1:17:25Speaker 2: I guess we've probably crossed the threshold of it, like
- 1:17:28Speaker 2: being an old idea for a costume into a new.
- 1:17:31Speaker 3: I think you don't experience whimsy. I think that's most
- 1:17:34Speaker 3: of your problem. I think most of your problems are
- 1:17:36Speaker 3: derived from the fact that you don't experience.
- 1:17:38Speaker 2: People clapping for Nicole Kidman's AMC commercial. Now that is
- 1:17:42Speaker 2: not whimsical. That's irritating. There was there was a period
- 1:17:45Speaker 2: when it was whimsical. Yeah yeah, but now it's a
- 1:17:47Speaker 2: I saw people clapping about it online and now I'm
- 1:17:51Speaker 2: on the train one hundred years late.
- 1:17:53Speaker 3: If they kept redoing it and making it like different
- 1:17:56Speaker 3: and better and like heightening it, sure, absolutely, but they've
- 1:17:58Speaker 3: kept it the same, which is crazy.
- 1:18:00Speaker 4: Us.
- 1:18:00Speaker 2: We all clapped four years ago. Probably every month. She
- 1:18:04Speaker 2: should be doing something. In addition, to by. Now she
- 1:18:06Speaker 2: should be like riding a bike up the stairs. Lie
- 1:18:09Speaker 2: from New York. It's the movie you're watching, you know
- 1:18:11Speaker 2: what I mean? Hula hoop?
- 1:18:13Speaker 3: Oh my god, Yeah, riding a horse, firing a gun.
- 1:18:17Speaker 2: Riding a horse, firing a gun. Yes, at the horse.
- 1:18:20Speaker 2: Time for the movies to begin. On it, just on.
- 1:18:26Speaker 3: At least you have final answer on a least killing
- 1:18:28Speaker 3: a horse while on it.
- 1:18:31Speaker 2: It's a gift, you guys, gift.
- 1:18:34Speaker 4: It will always be a kidding me. How many things
- 1:18:37Speaker 4: can unite us still and conservatives on the bandwagon. Once
- 1:18:43Speaker 4: they do a new one, Okay, they've.
- 1:18:47Speaker 2: Got to bring in a new celebrity. At this point,
- 1:18:48Speaker 2: they've killed it. They have killed it. They've got to
- 1:18:52Speaker 2: bring a new celeb Yeah, Keith Urban Is right there,
- 1:18:56Speaker 2: Shut up, you beast, Keith Urban. We would all so
- 1:19:00Speaker 2: shocked and confused. We would be clapping out of confusion,
- 1:19:04Speaker 2: you little creature. Keith urban Is. So that's such a
- 1:19:07Speaker 2: strange pull. It's it's oh fuck is he? I just
- 1:19:14Speaker 2: think it's so sad. That was such a weird poll
- 1:19:16Speaker 2: for AMC. Exactly. That's what they need to do. They've
- 1:19:19Speaker 2: got to really go. They've got to make a turn
- 1:19:21Speaker 2: that nobody's expecting. Michelle Liah Michelle, Yeah, Honalsalis, you are
- 1:19:29Speaker 2: you are off a la then ice is all I'm
- 1:19:32Speaker 2: going to say. Boots then ice period. We're going to
- 1:19:35Speaker 2: limit your time on the microphone. Yeah, I'm gonna have
- 1:19:38Speaker 2: a button that I'm gonna be able to push to
- 1:19:39Speaker 2: let you into the pod. And you know we're gonna
- 1:19:41Speaker 2: limit your time in the sunshine as well. Well, we
- 1:19:46Speaker 2: were both correct here. Okay, Well did you you said
- 1:19:48Speaker 2: curseor I think ur I kind of dragged you in? Uh,
- 1:19:51Speaker 2: Analis's Unfortunately, we're starting to question their value as a producer,
- 1:19:57Speaker 2: which is tough. Uh. This is the final say of
- 1:20:00Speaker 2: the podcast. People write into I said no gifts at
- 1:20:02Speaker 2: gmail dot com, begging for answers to life's issues, gift
- 1:20:07Speaker 2: giving issues, this kind of thing. Will you help me
- 1:20:09Speaker 2: answer a listener question? Yes, okay, let me get into
- 1:20:12Speaker 2: the document here. Okay, this says dear Bridger and guest.
- 1:20:18Speaker 2: My brother A is getting married soon to a woman
- 1:20:22Speaker 2: I genuinely adore who I'll call N. Earlier this fall,
- 1:20:26Speaker 2: I threw the bridle shower for N. I'm sorry this
- 1:20:30Speaker 2: person put the letters at the initials and quotes. Huh. Now,
- 1:20:35Speaker 2: I threw the bridle shower for N, which ended up
- 1:20:38Speaker 2: costing more than expected. I bought a gift from the
- 1:20:41Speaker 2: registry for the bridal shower. I am also a bridesmaid
- 1:20:44Speaker 2: and have to pay for and have paid for the dress,
- 1:20:46Speaker 2: hair and make up for the day of the wedding.
- 1:20:49Speaker 2: Now I don't have a budget to get them another gift.
- 1:20:52Speaker 2: How do I explain to my brother and N that
- 1:20:54Speaker 2: I have already given them their wedding gift in a
- 1:20:57Speaker 2: tasteful way. I don't want to. I don't want them
- 1:21:00Speaker 2: to think I'm being cheap. Also ends love languages gifts.
- 1:21:03Speaker 2: Who isn't At this point I hear this all the time.
- 1:21:07Speaker 2: Also ends love language is gifts. So should I just
- 1:21:10Speaker 2: suck it up and get them another gift? We are
- 1:21:12Speaker 2: southern of the themes the way they tie in. Lord,
- 1:21:15Speaker 2: we are southern and pathologically non confrontational, so any help
- 1:21:20Speaker 2: is appreciated. Thanks. That's from L.
- 1:21:22Speaker 3: Let me start by saying this. You know what's a
- 1:21:24Speaker 3: free gift? The gift of tongues?
- 1:21:28Speaker 2: A trip to church? A trip to church. I don't know.
- 1:21:30Speaker 3: People are allergic to making things. Now, if you want
- 1:21:33Speaker 3: to give a gift. You can make.
- 1:21:35Speaker 2: Things and you don't have to spend any money.
- 1:21:37Speaker 3: Grab some old coupons, make an or got me crane,
- 1:21:41Speaker 3: make a little note, say I hope you enjoyed all
- 1:21:43Speaker 3: the shit I gave you before, you know, in like
- 1:21:45Speaker 3: a polite way.
- 1:21:46Speaker 2: Sure, I'm so proud of you. You know what I mean.
- 1:21:49Speaker 3: Or make make your sister feel bad, Say I've fallen
- 1:21:53Speaker 3: on some hard times.
- 1:21:54Speaker 2: I'm really This is kind of my usual way of
- 1:21:58Speaker 2: going about things to tell people kind of the sick plant.
- 1:22:03Speaker 2: Start carrying the sick plant around. Walk up to you, Droopy,
- 1:22:06Speaker 2: it's your wedding date. Yeah, I think you're fine. If
- 1:22:10Speaker 2: you take a sick plant to this wedding, there will
- 1:22:13Speaker 2: that will there will be no questions about gifts. They
- 1:22:15Speaker 2: won't be thinking about that in any way. They'll be
- 1:22:17Speaker 2: thinking about ell Leah Michelle, why did you bring the
- 1:22:20Speaker 2: sick plant to the wedding? To me? And Nicole Kidman
- 1:22:24Speaker 2: and Nicole Kidman and a Andrew Keith we all know
- 1:22:28Speaker 2: his first name is Andrew. Absolutely couldn't have made a
- 1:22:30Speaker 2: career out of Andrew Urban No, absolutely Keith's that was
- 1:22:34Speaker 2: the key to his success. I think even if you
- 1:22:38Speaker 2: don't get any gift. Here's what she's gonna do. She's
- 1:22:42Speaker 2: gonna think to herself, why didn't they get me a gift?
- 1:22:44Speaker 2: And if she's smart, she'll put it together. And if
- 1:22:47Speaker 2: she's not smart, really don't worry about it. You're gonna
- 1:22:50Speaker 2: learn something about N's character here, because if N comes
- 1:22:53Speaker 2: around demanding a gift or whatever, you know, you can
- 1:22:56Speaker 2: kind of cut her off. Absolutely. She doesn't say anything.
- 1:22:59Speaker 2: You think, oh she was taking. Well, now we can
- 1:23:00Speaker 2: move on with our lives exactly. This is a sister
- 1:23:02Speaker 2: in law I can now trust perfect Leah, don't write
- 1:23:06Speaker 2: back in.
- 1:23:07Speaker 3: It's a simple problem, Leah, simple, clear cut. If you
- 1:23:10Speaker 3: do make up some names, don't just use a letter.
- 1:23:13Speaker 2: Yeah, make up, use your imaginations. We just did this. Yeah,
- 1:23:16Speaker 2: we got to the bottom of Keith Urban's first name
- 1:23:19Speaker 2: and almost a split second. And meanwhile, this person is
- 1:23:24Speaker 2: so worried about giving gifts that they can't come up
- 1:23:26Speaker 2: with three imaginary names. No embarrassing, it's humiliating. Use chat GPT.
- 1:23:32Speaker 2: This is why we're throwing away water. Don't do that.
- 1:23:35Speaker 2: It's to create fake names for letters to podcast. You
- 1:23:38Speaker 2: have to cut this, you have to cut get on
- 1:23:41Speaker 2: chat GPT say I need three names. Oh my god,
- 1:23:45Speaker 2: speed up the water warst GBT for three names is hilarious.
- 1:23:51Speaker 2: You are three functioning member of society. They have to
- 1:23:53Speaker 2: like kill a penguin in order to run the system.
- 1:23:57Speaker 2: Blood everywhere to find out a nance you, Lisa, And
- 1:24:02Speaker 2: what is a third a name? Aaron? Aaron, Aaron, Get
- 1:24:07Speaker 2: on chat EPT, don't don't do it well? We answered
- 1:24:11Speaker 2: the question perfectly, I think so. I have yet again
- 1:24:14Speaker 2: another beautiful box of tea that will last me for
- 1:24:18Speaker 2: who knows how long. But hope this always comes handy.
- 1:24:23Speaker 2: When I'm sick, I put a squirt of actual lemon
- 1:24:26Speaker 2: in there. I'm on top of the world. Okay, maybe
- 1:24:28Speaker 2: drink it when you're healthy too. It's nice. I want
- 1:24:31Speaker 2: to think of you when I'm sick, when I'm at
- 1:24:34Speaker 2: my lowest, hanging by a thread. Does it happen a lot?
- 1:24:38Speaker 2: I hope it happens a lot. I'm sick constantly yay
- 1:24:42Speaker 2: in and out of the hospital, and I take my
- 1:24:45Speaker 2: tea at the hospital. Of course, they I'm a nightmare.
- 1:24:48Speaker 2: Go into the e R. They ask me if I
- 1:24:50Speaker 2: want the usual, bring me my mulanos and lemon lemon
- 1:24:54Speaker 2: loaf tea. Well, thank you for the tea, thank you
- 1:24:59Speaker 2: for being here, thank you for having me and listener,
- 1:25:02Speaker 2: the podcast is over. There's nothing you can do to
- 1:25:06Speaker 2: stop what's about to happen. Despite everything in your world
- 1:25:11Speaker 2: and how dark things are about to get for you, you
- 1:25:14Speaker 2: have to stop listening to the podcast. I love you, goodbye.
- 1:25:23Speaker 2: I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our
- 1:25:27Speaker 2: senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are
- 1:25:30Speaker 2: beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. The theme song is by
- 1:25:34Speaker 2: miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without
- 1:25:37Speaker 2: our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on
- 1:25:41Speaker 2: Instagram at I said No Gifts, that's where you're going
- 1:25:43Speaker 2: to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting.
- 1:25:46Speaker 2: And don't you want to see the gifts? And why
- 1:25:49Speaker 2: did you hear? Fun? A man?
- 1:25:54Speaker 1: Myself perfectly clear, But you're a guess, Tom.
- 1:26:00Speaker 2: M hmm.
- 1:26:01Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty And.
- 1:26:05Speaker 2: I said, no, guest.
- 1:26:07Speaker 1: Your own presences presents enough that I already had too
- 1:26:13Speaker 1: much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me