Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 86 - When Safety Becomes the Breaking Point: Why So Many Parents Are Choosing Homeschooling

Transcript

Ep. 86 - When Safety Becomes the Breaking Point: Why So Many Parents Are Choosing Homeschooling · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Christy-Faith: This past year, we watched as a street in our area was being renamed Kendrick Castillo Parkway. At the time, I didn't know who Kendrick Castillo was. At the time, I assumed it must have been a fallen policeman. And when I found out who Kendrick Castillo was, I must admit, I was embarrassed. You might remember him.
• 0:19
  He was the young 18 year old student at STEM school in Highlands Ranch who died lunging at an active shooter, giving his life to protect his classmates. Not too long ago, I was running errands as I was taking my son to basketball, and I drove by Columbine High School and stopped and thought to myself, man, wow. It feels like that's where it kind of all began. Last week, there was a shooting in Evergreen, Colorado. Recently, two children were killed and 21 injured at a Catholic school in Minnesota.
• 0:51
  In November, a 15 year old student killed four students in Michigan. And then there was also that 19 year old who opened fire at the performing arts high school in Missouri in 2022, and the list goes on and on and on and on. And, of course, we have the tragedy in Utah where we lost Charlie Kirk. Our children now practice lockdown drills as routinely as fire drills in our country. You'd be crazy to think that this is not affecting our children.
• 1:21
  Every ringing bell, every loudspeaker announcement chips away at their sense of safety. They carry this in their bodies, in their sleep, in the way so many beg you not to go to school. We are a nation of parents holding our breath, bracing for the next alert, the next not my child turned into my child. If you're a parent considering homeschooling because you can't shake the fear that school is no longer a safe place for your child, know this. You are seen, you are heard, and your concern is valid.
• 1:53
  If you're searching for answers right now, doubting your instincts, or feeling like the world is gaslighting you for even thinking about pulling your child out of school to homeschool, I promise you, you have found your people here. We will not dismiss your worry, and we are not gonna call you paranoid. Maybe you're tuning in today and you're already a homeschooler. This show is for you too. Maybe right now with your homeschooling because you know what?
• 2:18
  It's not the easiest choice. There's a lot of sacrifices in homeschooling. Worth it? Yes. Which I'll get into.
• 2:24
  But, yeah, it's hard. Maybe you're exhausted. Maybe you're facing tough days right now and questioning if it would just be easier to send your kids to conventional school. This episode is for you too because let this be your reminder. You chose something brave and deeply loving, something your child may not thank you for yet, but one day will understand.
• 2:45
  So, yes, we're speaking to two different people today. First, the parent overwhelmed by the next school shooting on the news, the stories of bullying in the hallways, and that deep gut feeling that something is broken. And you're thinking about homeschooling, but every stereotype, like the socialization, am I sheltering my child? I'm not a certified teacher. All that stuff is just coming at you telling you there's no way I could do this.
• 3:10
  I'm gonna address those fears later on in the episode today. Because make no mistake, I love homeschooling. I think homeschooling is the best thing for kids. Do I think everybody can homeschool? Do I think everybody should homeschool?
• 3:22
  Absolutely not. But maybe you can. Maybe you can't write this second. Maybe you have to make adjustments. But maybe, just maybe, it could be the best decision you've ever made for your family.
• 3:34
  And if school safety is what got you here today to think about it, so be it. I'm really sad about it, but you are in good hands here. And also, you current homeschooling parents who are listening today, this show is gonna remind you of that why. Your days might feel really long right now, but there is peace in knowing that your child is truly safe and you are giving them the best possible education out there. This show is for you too.
• 3:58
  Here's what you can expect in today's episode. First, we're gonna dive into the hard facts about school safety and why so many families are rethinking their options. Next, I'm gonna share with you the benefits of homeschooling beyond just keeping your child safe. We're gonna cover academics, family connection, and emotional health. Then we're gonna tackle the most common objections I hear from parents just like you considering this journey, and I'll walk you through real practical solutions, and yes, some of those myths.
• 4:28
  And finally, if you're serious about exploring homeschooling, I'll give you some concrete action steps and resources to help you make the next move with confidence. Although it saddens me why I had to make this show and why you're listening today, I'm still glad you're here. Hello, everyone. Welcome. If you don't know me already, my name is Kristi Faith.
• 4:59
  I am an educational and parenting expert over twenty years of experience, speaker, podcaster, and founder of Thrive Homeschool Community. I started Thrive Homeschool Community because I don't think you should feel the pressure of building a world class education for your child based on doom scrolling on social media and scattered Facebook advice on the Internet. Educating our kids is an important job, and the secret sauce to homeschooling is the homeschooling parent. And in Thrive Homeschool Community, we help you build the homeschool that your children deserve. It's not always open.
• 5:31
  If it's closed right now, get on the wait list because we do offer something special for our waitlisters when we reopen. Okay. Now back to our show. It's easy to dismiss a parent's fear as overreaction, especially when so many families in our country feel powerless. It's easy to hear the stories on the news and think, but that won't happen here.
• 5:51
  But I wanna take a moment to look at the numbers, not with the goal of creating fear, but to validate the gut feeling that so many of you already have. The feeling that our schools are no longer safe. The data doesn't lie. Let's start with the most terrifying reality, gun violence. Last year alone, there were 346 incidents of gunfire on school grounds in The United States.
• 6:16
  That's nearly one every single day. These incidents resulted in a hundred and sixty four deaths and three hundred and thirty five injuries. And when I see these numbers, I don't see numbers. I see shattered families, traumatized communities, and children who will never be the same. But you and I both know that the threats to our children's safety aren't always so loud.
• 6:38
  Sometimes the danger is silent and happens in the hallways, in locker rooms, and online. Nearly a 160,000 children stay home from school each day simply because they're afraid of being bullied. Think about that. One in every five students, twenty percent of all kids reports being bullied. For these children, school isn't a place of learning.
• 7:01
  It's a place of survival, and the physical threats go beyond fists and sticks and stones. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that nearly ten percent of high school students have been threatened or injured with a weapon on school property. That's one in every ten teenagers. Then there's the deepest betrayal of trust, abuse from the very people meant to protect our children. Research funded by the US Department of Education revealed a horrifying statistic.
• 7:30
  One in ten children will experience some form of sexual misconduct from a school employee before they graduate high school. It's a reality that is difficult to even comprehend, let alone accept. When you look at these numbers, it becomes clear that your concern isn't paranoia. It's a rational response to a systemic crisis. The anxiety your child feels about going to school isn't just in their head, and don't let anyone gaslight you and tell you otherwise.
• 8:00
  No child should be forced to learn in a state of fight or flight. The knot in your stomach when you drop them off isn't an overreaction. It's a logical conclusion based on undeniable facts. You know what you're dropping them off to, and it breaks your heart, and you don't wanna do it. Our children are being asked to learn in environments where they are statistically unsafe, and parents are right to question if there is a better way.
• 8:28
  But I'm here to tell you that there is more to this story than fear. We'll get into that right after this work. As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often struggle to bring my educational vision to life with my kids' diverse ages and learning needs. With all our interests and super packed schedule, bridging that gap between the dreamy homeschool I want and reality, I gotta be honest. It's a challenge.
• 8:52
  Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal. But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press homeschool curriculum. Now many think that BJU Press homeschool is solely an all in one option and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have? BJU Press Homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure and flexibility and easily complements my family's mixed age family together on the couch learning style.
• 9:29
  They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities in the lessons. To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals too. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes. Is your child struggling with attention, memory, reading, writing, or math? If you're experiencing this, you know how heart wrenching it is to watch them face these hurdles.
• 9:54
  You've poured love, time, and attention into their education, yet the struggle persists, leaving you feeling stuck and desperately searching for answers. You guys, I want you to know about LearningRx, a proven program designed to help your child's cognitive skills, enabling them to think faster, learn more easily, and perform at their best. I'm talking getting real long term help here with things like ADHD and dyslexia. LearningRx is backed by thirty five years of research, and their results are transformative. Use code HOME 50 for $50 off your cognitive skills assessment.
• 10:27
  Go to LearningRx dot com or click the link in the show notes. Okay. Welcome back. So what if you could give your child so much more than just safety? What if homeschooling opened doors you haven't even imagined yet?
• 10:41
  While school safety might be what brought you here today, I want you to know that that is just the beginning of what's actually possible. Maybe this is divine meeting because what you can find in homeschooling will better prepare your child for their future, give them a richer and more personalized education, connect your family in ways you never even thought was possible. It allows you to meet your child's unique needs academically, emotionally, and socially in ways traditional schooling can't even hold a candle to. It empowers you to cultivate their curiosity, to ensure that they never lose that love of learning that they were born with. It offers them resilience and confidence all within the walls of your own safe home.
• 11:27
  I want you to picture something for me. Imagine your child not just surviving the school day, but truly coming alive in their education. Imagine an education built around their curiosity, not a standardized test. This is where the real magic of homeschooling begins far beyond the locked doors and the active shooter drills and the safety plans. Man, am I so thankful that my kids have never had to participate in one of those drills at a school.
• 11:54
  When you bring education home, you're not replicating the classroom at your kitchen table. You're not standing in front of a whiteboard all day. That's not what we're doing over here. But what you are doing is you are now unlocking a completely personalized learning journey for your kids. Think about it.
• 12:12
  If your child is fascinated by ancient Egypt, you don't have to wait for the one week in that curriculum for history class that covers that. You can dive deep. You can spend a month building pyramids out of sugar cubes, watching documentaries, and reading every book that you can get your hands on at the library. You can follow their spark. On the other hand, if your child struggles in an area, say fractions for example, you don't have to watch them fall behind in their class of 29 other kids.
• 12:41
  You can slow down. You can go at their pace. You can bake cookies and cut them into halves and fourths and eighths until it clicks because you have the gift of time and attention, two of the most powerful tools in education. Because homeschooling, at least the way we do it over here, it's not about grades for us. It's about building a lifelong love of learning.
• 13:03
  It's showing your child that their mind is a place of wonder, not a vessel to be filled with facts to then regurgitate for a test. We all know that's not an education, and we all know that jamming facts to regurgitate on Friday just to forget on Monday isn't preparing them for the real world. Because what we do know is that the education of a child is the cultivation of a human being. It's about their heart. It's about their emotional well-being.
• 13:28
  In a world that feels increasingly anxious, your home can be a sanctuary for their spirit. And homeschooling, that can give you the space to nurture your kid's emotional health in a way no school system ever could. Now I know what you're thinking right now. You're having objections. You're like, but, Christy, I don't wanna shelter my kids.
• 13:47
  But, Christy, I'm not a certified teacher. But, Christy, how do I socialize them? Or I don't have time to homeschool. I'm here to tell you, if you're asking those questions, we've asked them too. But please please hear me when I say this, you're not understanding what homeschooling is.
• 14:01
  You're picturing school and doing that at home, and that's not what we do over here. I remember talking to a mom who pulled her son out of school in third grade. He was a bright sensitive kid who started developing severe anxiety. He was having stomachaches every morning and had stopped participating in class. She had tried and tried with school administration to no avail, and finally she said enough is enough, and she pulled her son out to homeschool.
• 14:26
  She thought, I have no idea what I'm doing, but it's gotta be better than what's happening at school. And boy was she right. Within a month of homeschooling, she told me, I got my boy back. They spent time in the mornings on nature walks, their afternoons reading on the couch, and he started asking questions again. He was less anxious and more joyful.
• 14:46
  He had room to breathe, to be himself without the constant social pressure and fear that had been weighing him down. And that is what this is about. It's about replacing that morning dread with morning snuggles. It's trading playground bullies for sibling partnerships and healthier co ops with a healthier social environment because there's better supervision. It's about strengthening the very core of your family.
• 15:12
  When you learn together, you grow together. The shared inside jokes from a science experiment gone wrong. The deep conversations that come for reading a powerful story. These moments weave your family together in a way that the frantic rush of school nights and homework battles simply can't. Why?
• 15:29
  Because you become the primary influence in their life, shaping their character and their view of the world. It's a huge responsibility, yes, but it's also the most special and amazing privilege. Safety may open the door to homeschooling, but what you're gonna find on the other side is a richer, deeper, and more connected life for your entire family. And yes, a way better education too. So as promised, we're gonna go over those doubts and fears that I know are swirling through your mind right now.
• 15:58
  Even if you are a current homeschooler and you're having a hard day and you're thinking, man, that public school down the road looks like an all inclusive resort right now. I could use a break. Stick around. Right after this break, we'll tackle the biggest questions parents have and the answers that might surprise you. Before we continue, I wanna share with you a program that's been a game changer for our homeschool.
• 16:18
  At our center, we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every math program on the market and know firsthand just how important a solid math foundation is for our kids' futures. As a career educator with high standards, finding the right program that checked all the boxes felt like too tall of an order until one day I tried CTC math. CTC math is an online math curriculum for k to 12 students with motivating interactive lessons that allow kids to learn at their own pace. It does all the teaching and grading so you don't have to and their adaptive lessons adjust so your child is progressing confidently. With CTC Math, your child is getting a top notch education and you just made your homeschool life easier.
• 16:57
  Visit ctcmath.com to start your free trial today or click the link in the show notes. Think homeschooling means doing it all yourself? Let me stop you right there. If you're looking for a partner you can trust, one I trust with my own kids, check out True North Homeschool Academy. They're Cognia accredited and offer live online classes and flexible self paced options for grades six through 12.
• 17:19
  Your teen can pursue a dual degree track or a tech and trades diploma all with teachers who share your family values. Small classes, college ready rigor, real world skills, and it all fits your schedule in a faith friendly environment. Ready to learn more? Head to true northhomeschool.academy or click the link in the show notes to explore courses and get started today. Okay.
• 17:42
  So as you're listening to all this, I can hear the thoughts running through your mind right now. How do I know? Well, I kinda wrote a book on it. Your little voice might be whispering, but Christy, I work full time. I can't homeschool.
• 17:54
  Or maybe I'm not a teacher. I don't even remember high school algebra. How can you possibly expect me to teach those advanced subjects? Or and let's be really honest here, maybe that voice is saying, I love my kids, but I don't think I can be around them all day without losing my mind. And of course, the big one, what about socialization?
• 18:11
  I don't want my kids to be weird, or how could I ever prepare them for high school and beyond? If you're thinking these things, which I know you are and even more, sports, sheltering, what will the grandparents think? I mean, you name it, I know it. Stop for a second. Take a deep breath.
• 18:27
  I will too. And hear me when I say, your concerns are completely valid, and your concerns are the same concerns we all had too. But I wanna let you in on a little secret. There are over 3,000,000 of us homeschooling in The US right now, and we've all asked these same questions you are asking too. Society paints us as weirdos and religious fanatics, but we're a bunch of parents just wanting what's best for our family and our kids.
• 18:55
  And dare I say, we see that the schools aren't preparing kids for a bright future, and we think we can do it better. All of us, not only have we asked those questions too, but we have found creative, workable solutions. You are not alone in your fears, but you also don't have to reinvent the wheel. So I don't have time to go into all of those myths and objections to homeschooling, but I'm gonna mention a few statistics that may help you, and then I'm gonna give you some places to go to get all of your questions answered. So number one is that most studies reveal that homeschool children are healthier socially, emotionally, and psychologically.
• 19:34
  So that myth that homeschoolers aren't socialized just is false. I go into socialization deep in chapter seven of my book, homeschool rising. That's where you're gonna hear about the disorder of peer orientation, fitting in versus belonging, what is the difference, and why, yeah, homeschool kids might present a little bit differently, but that's kind of the point. And maybe if your highest priority is your kid fitting in, that's something to rethink. The truth is homeschoolers are also being recruited by colleges and universities more than ever before.
• 20:07
  We have higher rates of college completion because our kids know how to read, they know how to study, and they have perseverance and grit. And our kids aren't sheltered. In my book, I talk about something called greenhousing, and that is what we're doing with our kids. See, our culture today of the school system, and you know this, you're listening to the show right now, our topic today is school safety. We have normalized a traumatic environment for children, and we call it normal because we can't call it what it really is, and that is trauma.
• 20:37
  Now raise your hand if you were bullied in school or you experienced trauma in school. I do this at conferences, and nearly every hand is raised. We know from years and years and years of research in child psychology and development that abuse and trauma is not toughening up. It's trauma, and it's a problem. So what other people view as sheltering our kids, that's not what we're doing over here either.
• 21:01
  I like to call it greenhousing. We're building strong resilient roots so that when we do transplant them out into the real world, they are strong and ready for whatever hits them. So my point is with all this, before you just dismiss it as this is weird, this is not something that I could ever do, do yourself a favor and do a little bit more investigating because you just may find that what the school system offers is not in alignment with your values and what you want for your kid's future or their education now. Homeschooling? Homeschooling can give your kids what they need now and prepare them for a bright future.
• 21:35
  So before we wrap up, I wanna thank you for joining me on this very important conversation. If you found this episode helpful or inspiring, please take a moment to like, subscribe, leave a review, do the stars, make a comment, any type of interaction because it's those robots behind the screen that are determining whether or not this show and this episode is worth sharing. It's something you can do in under ten seconds and a way to pay it forward to a mom who needs to hear this message today. Your support helps us reach more families who are searching for answers. So thank you so much for doing that.
• 22:09
  I appreciate it. And who knows how it will bless another mom who comes across this show. Okay. So if you are ready to take action and you are saying enough is enough regarding school safety, I want other options. Here are a few next steps just for you.
• 22:25
  First, start listening to this podcast regularly. Binge some episodes if you need to, and I'll put a couple in the show notes. Number two, grab my book, homeschool rising. It's on Amazon Prime. I have a whole chapter in there on socialization, a whole chapter on what is deschooling.
• 22:42
  I have an entire chapter in there on common objections or what if your spouse or partner isn't on board. It is an incredible book, perfect for someone considering homeschooling. And third, consider joining Thrive Homeschool Community. It's not always open for enrollment. So if it's not right now, please get on the wait list because you will be the first to know when Thrive opens, and we give you special bonuses.
• 23:05
  That is the community that teaches you how to build an incredible education for your child that they deserve and a homeschool that you are proud of and you feel confident in. And though I love Pinterest and scrolling the Internet and going to online forums, piecing together information is not getting expert advising. That is not how to build the education that your children deserve. You need experts, you need training, and you need to be told what to do, and that's what we do in Thrive Homeschool Community. Plus, it's good just to be around a bunch of other women who care about their kids' education as much as you care about yours to know that you're not alone on this path.
• 23:41
  Thank you for joining me today. I'll see you time. You have my heart.