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SMNTY Classics: Car Troubles? · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sandy and Samantha. Oh your stuff. Never
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: told you protection of my heart?
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Right you?
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, So.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: This episode, I tell you has come back in a
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: way I wasn't anticipating when I was talking about car
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: troubles and I was just pontificating if this is still
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: a thing where it's used as a pickup line. Because
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: of travel and health issues, my car has sat unmoved for.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: A while, to the point that even I am like, wow,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: you really have not moved that car.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: And it's becoming such a stressor because I have all
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: these rules about when I want to go and like
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: move my car and drive it, and I've made it
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: into a much bigger deal than it needs to be.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: And that's the last thing I need with my health.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: So the car is just out there and it's become
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: like my enemy. But I really need to if I
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: got in it, like right now, I think what would
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: happen if I tried to start it.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: It wouldn't start.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: I would like it to be able to start if
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: I need it. Yeah, so I need to test it
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: and I just let it go so long.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Do you need emotional support?
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: I think if I had somebody sit in the car
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: with me. It would help because part of the issue
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: is one of the things that made me think of
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: this is Samantha No's. But I have a neighbor that
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: kind of like lingers outside, and I don't want to
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: deal with what would happen if the car did start
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: and he was outside. Yeah, so I go, we'll like,
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: I go it like six am I have. But I've
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: been sleeping much better lately, actually, so I don't want
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: to get rid of Yeah, I finally made that step right,
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: So I don't want to set up an alarm to
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: go start my car and be stressed if the whole
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: day I'll be worried about it. So I just have
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: all these rules around this car and it's gotten out
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: of control. But it actually looks good. I'm surprised at
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: how nice it stills.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but maybe I'll get you or another friend just
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: come sit in the car with it while I started,
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: or try to start it. And I have one of
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: those things where you can jump start at yourself. Ye,
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: I've never done it, so I'm a little nervous I've.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Done it, so I'll come and help you.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, yeah, I got you. All right, we'll figure
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: this out. We'll get We'll get the old galagy. We
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: got you. Thanks in the meantime, listeners, please enjoy this
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: classic episode.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Welcome to Stuff One Never told you production to buy
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Heart Radio, and today we are doing another happy hour. Welcome, Welcome.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: As always, if you are joining us, do whatever you're
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: dream responsibly drinking or otherwise.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: What are you sitting on?
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Samantha, my diet soda keep it in on drink water earlier,
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: so I'm like, okay, I feel like I did a
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: good job on the water. So I'm a drinker diet
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: soda today.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had different episode. But I've been having strange
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: dreams lately. I told you about one of them earlier.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: I also had one that was just I couldn't stop
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: drinking water. The whole dream was about water. Stopped drinking water.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: It was very Bazarrey. I am drinking a summer shandy
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: a friend left up my apartment.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Nice. I'm trying to guess, so hope, I hope it's good.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're usually pretty good. I used to drink those
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: way back when.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll be fine.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Uh, so this episode might be coming at you a
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: little late because we've had a couple of onlin own
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: technical issues, which is kind of indicative of what I
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: wanted to talk about. I said recently, I feel like
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: my life is in disarray. I feel like I have
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: a lot of things that I've let build up that
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: just all around me that I have not fixed for
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: one reason or the other. A big one is my car.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: So Anthon knows about this, and my car has been
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: dead for two weeks now. It does not start. I
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: had someone come out to look at it. It seems
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: like it's just a battery issue. But I kind of
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: wanted to talk about it because I was thinking about
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: kind of the whole car troubles.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Joke, which for a long time has been like.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: A joke about men hitting on women when their car
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: is broken down, and I just got to thinking about
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: that and all of the implications they're in. So I know
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: I've told this story before, but when I was in
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: high school, there was an automotive class. Women were not
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: allowed in it unless there was a space after all
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: of the men had off first.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I really wanted to do the choices were
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: and I'm not joking. The choices were automotive are dance.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: I wanted to do automotive. No, it's comical and infuriating.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: I wanted to do automotive because I thought it would
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: be useful. I love dancing, but I thought like this
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: would be good to know. They would not let me,
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: and they did let in one of the women from
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: my class, but I hate to say, it felt like
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: she was really sexualized in that class.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Oh she could talk about it. So it was like
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: a thing where I wanted to learn and I didn't
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: get the chance at that time.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: And then you know, I just never had really an
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: opportunity or real strong desire to learn after that, Like
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: that would have been a nice Is that a school
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I had to attend, right it was there? I never
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: did after that. I never did get the technology the
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: expertise that I wanted. And I will say, I want
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: to say I have always been scared around cars. There
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: are some reasons for that I've talked about before, but
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: also I'm just afraid of like expensive things. The car
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: is expensive. It makes nervous And this is going to
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: sound like way worse than it actually was. But my
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: dad used to ask me to pump gas. So if
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: I needed gas, I'd call him and he would come
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: and he would pump the gas. And so just made
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: going to mess up this very expensive piece of equipment.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: So I just have like really deep seated I don't
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: know how to handle a car. I don't know what
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: to do about it. And that being said, I want
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: to shout out my friend Marissa who once this was
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: before it was like ruined and everything, but it was
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: like the final Harry Potter movie was coming out. My
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: car wouldn't start, and she was like, no, we have
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: to get there on time, and she got that car starter.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: She like knew what to do, she did everything. So
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: in this I'm mostly talking about experiences I've had where
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: it feels like a lot of this car stuff is
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: still be pretty gate kept by men.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: But I have.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: Plenty of examples of women in my life that do
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: know what they're doing are good at it, So I
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: just want to make that clear. Also on the other
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: side of that, I my ex, who was a dude.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Once sheepishly admitted to me that he knew nothing about
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: cars when my car broke down, So it's also like
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: I think in a lot of ways, a lot of
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: us don't know.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, true story.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I feel like I learned a lot about car stuff
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: because of so many things i'll let go wrong.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Oh I know.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: What this sound is, So I learned from my bad.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like you could like do some basic.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Like no, Like the basic is like I know how
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: to change it higher, but it's really hard, especially with
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: like the changing of the bolts. But I've made sure
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: that I did learn. But I'm like it's gonna take
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: me forever, like forever ever if I really do have
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: to try this. But I remembered how to do it. One,
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to change the oil filter, but
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's an easy youtubem. But I know
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: what a sound of something is, Like, I'm like that
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: sound like a whale bearing. I think I need to
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: go do this. That sounds like the alignment is off,
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Like I needed to go do this like stuff like that.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean my most recent problem when the
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: guy showed up because I did call a repair service
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: because again it won't start, so I can't get it anywhere.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: I was like, I think it's batter because I recognize
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: this clicking. I have heard this before, and I have
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: The sad thing is I used to be pretty good
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: at like very basic, very basic, admittedly, but i used
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: to be pretty good at that stuff, and now I've
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: just become so afraid I'll mess I'll mess something up,
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: and that's important because I never drive anymore right, but
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: also just don't feel confident in it. There are a
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: couple of other things too. So one is, as Samantha knows, I,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: my car doesn't move from its spot very often, and
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: so it's sort of like people know my car. It's there,
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: and so I'm sort of I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed by it.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: But also there's like a guy that comes out in
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: my building to smoke, but he comes out and he
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: just hangs out, and I don't want to be out
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: there trying to do my thing, and he's looking at
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: me like mmmm.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: And then my landlord is like ever present, and I
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: don't want to get involved. But it's all these like
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: men in my life that I'm like, just not in
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: your life, yeah, but they're like.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: In my.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, like I would like to go ahead and
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: put an astrak here with the neighbor because I have
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: actually avoided going to your door myself, who typically I
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: will like, it doesn't bother me as much as it
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: bothers you. I don't want to hang out and be awkward.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I don't want to have a conversation with people. But
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: he literally stands in a way that is oh so imposing,
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: as well as smoking right on the steps, as well
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: as most of times being shirtless and a little over
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: like he just hangs out there and like all of
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: those things are like, yeah, he's not gonna move out
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: of my way, like, and he just purposely stands there
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: staring people down.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: I have noticed that because when I would wait for you,
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, I'm down here, but your neighbor's there,
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: so might want to wait for a second. I'm gonna
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: wait for a second. And then he just sits there
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: and stairs mm hmm.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: He does. It's like he's a.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Whole special conversation in itself.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: It's yeah, And it's unfortunate because it has Like one
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: of the things I hate that I'm really having trouble
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: letting go from the pandemic is that I don't feel
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: super comfortable leaving my place all the time. And part
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: of it is what if he's there, What if he's there?
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: And I've literally like gone back upstairs. I see him
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: out there, and to be, he's never done anything to me.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: He's just like got a vibe that's not great. So
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: I don't want to be out trying to fix something
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: with my car that possibly I could fix if he's
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: going to be out there.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: So I call in.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: The service that comes to you, and it was a
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: guy and he was super nice. But then afterwards everyone
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: was like, well, it sounds like he was flirting with you,
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: and now, oh no, because he knows.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I can't go anywhere. He knows that.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: Two of my friends who when I was telling them,
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: they were like they were just asking and they were like,
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: it kind of sounds like do you think he was?
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: And I said, now, I don't think so, but I
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: don't have the best track record with that, and I
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: don't know. I honestly have no idea. Uh, he will
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: be here getting soon.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: So see. But then I started thinking about that because like.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: I feel like a lot of times that whole kind
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: of car trouble thing, that whole like women can't take
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: automotive class. We're going to get to that episode that
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: we've been talking about forever about the history of women
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: in driving. Does feel very like you can't go anywhere,
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: so I'll help you in this case, like very like
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: heteronormative man being like, I'll help you then, because it is,
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: it does feel very i'll swoop in and rescue you.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: Whereas I think, I like, I used to be able
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: to fix a lot of these things, at least like
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: the smaller things, and it's frustrating to me that it's
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: gotten to a point where.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I just gotta do. I feel like I have to
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: deal with this because.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: I'm avoiding other dudes, but also like I am scared
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: I'll do damage to my car.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: I've talked about before.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: I actually passed out when my parents bought a car
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: because I saw how much it was and I passed out.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Like I have a lot of anxiety around how much
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: things cost, and it does feel kind of like.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: It's out of my control.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: So this also I just don't It's sad because I
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: also just don't like driving. I don't want to, but
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: I have to. That's sort of the society we live in.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: And I do want a working car, that's the oddest.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: I do want one, but it's frustrating because I'm like,
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: but I want one. It feels like just for emergencies
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: and this, you know, we've talked before about like stereotypes
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: around women driving and men driving. That was definitely present
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: in my last relationship. But this I also feel is
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: changing because I've seen a lot of my friends doesn't
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: really feel like that's there anymore for them at all.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: But when I, like when my.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: Ex and I were dating, he was always like, I
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: will drive, and he was not a driver or Samantha.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: He was actually pretty bad. I was a better driver
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: than him. I feel confident in saying.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Oh no, yeah, my partner and I share duties, make
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: sure because we split it. Because also I get carsick
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: really easily. So like the only times I don't really
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: get carsick is if A I'm asleep or B I'm driving,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: so I can't sit a whole ride like that.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I feel like you and several of my friends,
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: that's what I've seen is it feels like pretty equal
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: in terms of how they're driving. So I'm glad to
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: see that because I remember when the show first started,
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: there was an episode about like why do men do
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: most of the driving?
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's still definitely a stereotype on TikTok. A
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: passenger princess, yes, all over my for you page on TikTok.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: It is definitely still a thing, and I would love
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: to hear from listeners about it because I always hesitate
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: talking about some of these older like stereotypes in terms
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: of you know, how many times do we have to
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: bring this back? But the thing is they do keep
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: coming back. But I would like to hear from people's
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: other experiences. There is something else that has been happening
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: in recent years where there's been a couple of examples
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: of women owned are women based automotive repair shops. There
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: is there was one in Atlanta. I think it's changed.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: It has and they've made a big announcement to let
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: you know it is no longer owned by a woman
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: like it has been a thing because they still kept
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: the logo and kept the first part of them because
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: the title of it is literally like my mechanic as
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: a woman. And so when that when that stopped, they
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: didn't take away the name until they finally are like, hey,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: a woman doesn't own this, just so you know, I'm
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: not the owner. So they had to do my mechanic
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: is and they left that.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, they just left it be, which was sad.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: But there have been a couple of examples of those
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: kinds of things, and it's one of those things where
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: I have I'm like two minds about. It's sort of
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: like the women only where I get it, but I
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: think we should address like a larger issue. But I
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: do totally get it. Like again, I've laid out several
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: examples of where men have made me uncomfortable around cars,
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: so I I do understand, but it's also sort of like,
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: if this is what we're doing, we might want to
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: ask why why that is? And you know, unfortunately, the
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: car repair business is just notorious. The car business in
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: general is notorious for lying to people or upselling people,
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: or not being upfront with people. I know it's not everybody,
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: but that when you go into a situation and you
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: feel like, oh, I don't know enough about this and
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: I feel like this person's probably trying to cheat me,
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: it's like not a great situation. And I think that's
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: compounded with women because I think the is still women
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: don't know what they're doing with cars. But clearly, for
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: a long time we've been prevented from knowing even if
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: the class you wanted to take in high school was automotive.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: And a story.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Yes, so those are my car troubles and car troubles. Yeah,
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: I just I was gonna I titled it that because
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: that's what like the joke always is, as the guy
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: comes up and he's like car troubles. But if anyone
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: has any thoughts about this, or if you have any
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: examples of these women based automotive repair shops your experience,
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: there are just yeah, generally, what's the trope the vibe
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: of gendered stereotypes around driving?
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Right now? Please let us know.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: You can email us as Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia
• 18:53
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• 18:55
  Speaker 3: Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff when
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Never Told You on YouTube, and we have a teap
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• 19:01
  Speaker 3: wherever you get your books. Thanks as always to our
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  Speaker 3: super producer Christina or executive producer Maya and our contributor Joey.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Steffan Never Told You is production by Heart Radio.
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