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8-Minute MindShift Wk 27 · Mental Health and the Mission of the Church

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody, I am uh doing the message today, the eight-minute mind shift, from uh an application that allows me to share my screen with you because I want to walk you through a tool, a worksheet, if you will, that will help you do some parts of this stuff that that's really important.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: What we've been talking about lately, the whole eight-minute mind shift is all about how to recognize the the interacting responsibilities of what I believe, what I think, what I feel, and how I act.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the fact that we have more response ability.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: We have more ability to choose our response than we think we do.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and I just want to kind of help you with that.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, what we've been talking about lately is uh identify challenge and change, a three-step process to kind of take more responsibility in how we respond to what the people around us do and the circumstances that we encounter.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: So uh, you know, bear with me, be a little clunky as I figure all this out, but I want to share my screen with you so that we can look at um just a worksheet that I will have online, by the way, that you can download.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, but I want to walk you through how it um how it works, how it, how it works to uh learn like 2 Corinthians 2 or 10 says to take every thought captive.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: The problem with most of us is our reactions have been practiced for so long that we're almost unaware of them.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're aware of the result, the emotional state we land in, but we're really not aware of the underlying inner processes that got us there.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So therefore, we end up thinking that A, the outside events, what people do, circumstances, causes our emotional and behavioral response when when in reality there's this big old gap in the middle, and it's happening between your ears, that is really determining how A affects C.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, how people and events affect how our day goes and how we feel.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a sheet that, like I said, I'm gonna have available for you to download.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: There'll be a link.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I just want to walk through it.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm using uh myself.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Fortunately, this is not as true now, although I have to be honest, occasionally it will sneak back in on me.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, so let's just walk through it real quickly together, and then I'll walk you through a blank one.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, okay, what's the activating or triggering event or situation?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, what was happening just before I started to feel what's over in column C.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I was in a meeting with other leaders, pastors.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Talk drifted to how their ministries were going.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's a competitive feeling that seems to always arise.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, there just seems to be this sort of pecking order.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I I would typically always end up feeling insecure, inferior, and kind of like I don't know if you ever heard of the imposter syndrome, but I'd feel like, dude, you don't belong in this room.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Who do you think you are?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're you know, you're not one of them.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um so here's the key now.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to be ruthlessly honest with yourself.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: You you you've got to really kind of get alone, slow down, look at a situation that you you kind of get trapped in, but really, really be honest with yourself about what you're feeling and how you're responding.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so then you jump over to column B, and this is where you start thinking about what you're thinking in those moments.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: So as I was learning to do this, I would think about, you know, what in the world's going on inside of me when I'm at one of these meetings.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, if you look in the middle column, I'm never going to build a ministry like theirs.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just not in the same league as them, and I never will be.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's what's important.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't, I wasn't necessarily thinking those exact thoughts, like sitting there and they're talking, and I'm saying this out loud to myself.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if I really slowed down and and and kind of listened, um, if you think about it like this, self-awareness, one aspect of self-awareness, is kind of like, and don't think I'm weird, stepping outside of yourself and watching yourself.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I learned to do was I'd I'd I'd replay the meeting and I'd watch a particularly uncomfortable moment for myself, and I'd I'd ask myself, what what were you thinking or feeling right then?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where some of this stuff comes from, and in the bottom part of that center column, meanings and interpretations.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: What did this say about me?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, I need to accept that I'll always lag behind.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am a disappointment and it's gonna stay that way.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want it badly enough.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you ever heard that one?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you really wanted it, blah, blah, blah.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, my father, you're lazy, you'll never mount tuning, would creep in there, and I'd have this sense of I'm lazy and it's never gonna change.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm in a meeting.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Important to recognize, yes, there may have been a bit of competitive stuff going on with everybody.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: That part's probably real, not perceived on my part only.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But it it wasn't aimed at me, it was just there.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yet I took it all personally, put it through this filtering system of negativity toward myself, and then you jump over to column C.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: All right, what was I feeling?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sad, hopeless?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how did how that was emotional?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: How was I feeling physically?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just kind of unsteady, like, like just not fully there, not fully engaged.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, definitely a low, what I call a low frequency anxiety.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what did it cause me to do?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when I again when I'd get outside of myself and look back at the meeting, I'd I'd say, gosh, dude, you just over talk people.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like people would be sharing, and and I'd like have to, I'd have to tell a better story.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I was praying the other day and God, and it was like I had to, I had to like eventually I felt like God said to me this you you you want so badly to stand out that you you feel like you have to one up everybody.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, I'd share my recent revelations to distract from my lack of tangible results.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And deep down I was like, gosh, just get me out of here.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just ready to go.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what I'm gonna do now is I'm gonna show you a blank one because I want to uh uh let's see, where are you?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm not gonna take the time to do that.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: There it is.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, gosh, I'm I'm I'm better at this than I thought.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry about that.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a blank one, and like I said, this is gonna be available for you to download, and just slow down, don't make it, don't overthink it, but take a situation, it might be with family, it might be with friends, it might be at work, uh whatever kind of lands there, because this is practice, and walk through you know what was the situation, what's going on, and kind of like I did, and then what really starts paying off is when you start thinking about what I was thinking about.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, remember thinking's talking to yourself, and what you're gonna find is there's a fairly repetitive, consistent pattern to the way you think in certain situations, probably with a negative spin, but a very common, you're gonna find there's about three to five phrases that you use on yourself.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're talking about is identifying, capturing your automatic negative thoughts.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Remember your ants, automatic negative thoughts.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just a worksheet to kind of help you think through that.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so give it a shot.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Don't overthink it, don't beat yourself up if you don't do it perfectly.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Love you guys, and um looking forward to uh more of this in the future.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: All right, see you next week.