Latest / Social Proof Podcast / She Said God Told Her to Leave Me... Then Married Someone Else - The Exit Interview - Corey Arvinger

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She Said God Told Her to Leave Me... Then Married Someone Else - The Exit Interview - Corey Arvinger · Social Proof Podcast

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the exit interview of my partner, Donnie Wiggins, and I have decided to interview the successful entrepreneurs.
• 0:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And today we have Cory, and I'm going to ask you our very first question, okay?
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why did you exit your last relationship?
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would say it wasn't my choice to exit it.
• 0:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: She left you, but it was exit it.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I would say that, yes.
• 0:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Today, what she leave you?
• 0:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what's crazy?
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was really interesting.
• 0:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: was, which was an interesting response.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, what a how, what about, okay, slightly more aggressive question, but what is it about you that she did want to be with anymore?
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you think?
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's hard to know because we didn't really communicate properly.
• 0:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: What I mean by that is we had a conversation she was out here for so it was long distance.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have to give you like a little background.
• 0:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was long distance.
• 0:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: We met on Instagram.
• 1:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Actually I actually saw a post that she posted on Valentine's Day of that year.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Two weeks later, she was out here in Atlanta.
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want her to come out here.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were talking every day with school.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it was like a cool vibe.
• 1:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got her a hotel somewhere in the city.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I knew she was like a faith-based person.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're a met on Instagram.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my mom and she were already going to be coming out of here.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, no.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: She was a psychocratization.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, do you know what I'm saying?
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: So basically, I saw our post on Instagram for Valentine's Day.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: She was just talking about being single and enjoying loving herself.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'll come up on her page.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: She was on my export page, but I was on her page.
• 1:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I saw like, she had this demonic experience with weed and like all these things started happening.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, oh my gosh, she has a cool story.
• 1:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, oh, this story is dope.
• 1:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I just like de-imped her, like say, oh, shout out to you, whatever.
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then they're like starting conversation.
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we'd probably de-imped for like one or two days that we exchanged numbers that we faced and it was just like an instant vibe, like super cool down to earth very open.
• 2:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm like, man, I want to see if you are actually somebody that I could see myself with, you should come out to Atlanta.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And at first, she was like, nah, like, I'm not, I'm not getting flat out, flew that or whatever.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, this is not that, like, you can have your own hotel.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will give you the booking and numbers for your flights if you want to change anything, like, all that information towards.
• 2:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is not that.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I say like it was two weeks like literally two weeks and that weekend in Atlanta We had a lot going on.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We had a channel where I was going to try a church for a performance like that was cool.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was a hot game that we can already was going to go to.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it was like everything was lining up and so that's how we met and super cool and neither one of us was necessarily like looking but we were both in a position where we were open.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Got it.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Throughout that time, you know, we talked about celibacy and all that and we were practicing abstinence all that stuff, all that good stuff.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: We flew to different a few places we had to Chicago with DC obviously she came in Atlanta because she lived in Tampa So like we were she was traveling if she was gonna come to me.
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: We miles with just ghosts and girls Atlanta.
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like even being in Atlanta today sometimes so I like to just be out Why don't you like Atlanta
• 3:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: People know me like you know, I'm sure you get UV experiences.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just be out doing something that you don't think you're gonna see anybody You know, and then just like oh hey, it was like it is nothing harmful.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, but it's me like I don't have that testimony Really?
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't be out though.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Nothing that I would know.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, no I'm not saying you're doing something nice.
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's me doing?
• 3:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying you're just living your life like you could be getting coffee and People see you when when I talk to you because they know you
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't mind that when I'm by myself, but when I'm with somebody I'm talking to, I'll be trying to protect that space.
• 3:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, I want to back up to story a little bit.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: How long have you all together?
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Technically about eight months.
• 3:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absent in the whole eight months?
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's, I think, I really think that was the main issue.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: When we were in Chicago, we slipped up essentially.
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I won't blame anybody for it, but I definitely tried to stop it.
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: But also,
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: She was the a Awesome man, so I'm like I'm trying, but I'm also like the questions So many times it's so many times you can say no, especially when you truly care for somebody But I think I think we're both at fault.
• 4:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think yeah, but we put ourselves in a position But you don't typically find that story where it's like she's like, bro, come on with it
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and it wasn't even like that.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we went to a Leonard Dream game.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, as Chicago, Skogga, we went to see Angel Rees play in Chicago.
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we came home to take a break before we went to go out to eat.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so we were just taking a nap.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it was just like she was thinking about that thing all the time.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Take a nap and then I can't honestly even tell you how we got there.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really don't know, it just happened.
• 4:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I just remember, it doesn't just happen.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it didn't like just happened.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: But like, you know, we were hugging, you know,
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like we kissed and stuff before, so that wasn't like a new thing, but I think just in the position we were in and like just we haven't a great time nice trip, we've been respectful so it's been all connection because you know we need a long distance you have in a lot of deep conversations we're not seeing each other every week we're seeing each other every month every other month sometimes so we're very close and connected so.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think the tension was there.
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So to me, I felt like if it happened, it was like, all right, we got that out of the way, but for her, it was like almost detrimental.
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like it changed everything.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Really?
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we're gonna have the one time, only one time, yeah.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then how long after that did y'all break up?
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I would say it was about three months of my time's great.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Go about three months.
• 5:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I remember it was November of that year and we went to, um, we went to Chicago in, probably September.
• 5:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or I'll get September because I remember my mom said, she wanted to go for a birthday and I took her like two weeks later.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it was around that time.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the question, so like on a scale of like what it said, how was your performance?
• 6:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because here's what I've asked you, because you're like, I want it, I want it.
• 6:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's nothing to do with that promise you.
• 6:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I promise you.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I promise you.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: We slip up, it's like, oh, my bad.
• 6:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's just say I was the worst ever, right?
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even think that would have changed anything.
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think he was like the mental.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: So her previous relationship, she told me that they didn't work out because when she started that journey of finding Christ, he wasn't willing to not have sex.
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I think that I may have just put her in a position where she felt like I'm going back to what I left.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's what my brain went.
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Still wanting to know just, I mean.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nine.
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll see you.
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you sure that?
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nine.
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 7:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the wild question.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the wild.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to answer all questions.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I just want to get to the root of it.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I mean.
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know that for sure.
• 7:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that happened.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was the only time.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then it just got weird from there.
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, like, we finished the trip, it was cool, but it was a little awkwardness, and we got back we talked about, it was crazy because we actually went on another trip with her family after that.
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: We went to the cabins, her mom, and her dad.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was her birthday, and it was their anniversary, and I was like, like, I have this cabin, I can get it, it's multiple rooms, whatever, whatever.
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we actually went on a trip after that, it was great.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it was still a little, but like, I felt like we were working through it.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, we all say, we all make mistakes.
• 7:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was really heavy on her, and so you can't pinpoint exactly what the big riff was.
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: She was just, I can't do this anymore.
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I think too, like, she felt like I could in lead her in that department, I would say.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's kind of selfish bro.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you throw it, she thought that you, and then the fact that you didn't deny it, that was you're not the leader.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think she wanted me as a man to just be able to, you know, lead extreme and possible.
• 8:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it was hard.
• 8:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and guess it was.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's low, she impossible, bro.
• 8:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like that is extremely difficult.
• 8:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you might have, you might have dodged a bullet on that one, bro.
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you know what's funny?
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: This story is actually really interesting.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in November, and if she watches this, she would be so mad, but, you know, it is one of those.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, and November we broke up, um, Megan Ashley and Jackie O'Perry were doing X 2 4 2.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: They had been conference 12,000 people, whatever.
• 8:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: She was coming out there for here for that.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was out here.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: She told me, um, we went through the whole conference.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: She came with some girls from a community.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I was just there, Dolo.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm an LN.
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know people is cool.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we sat beside the last day.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the last day we, um, either conferences over.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was kind of a weird energy with us.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, what's going on?
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I haven't really seen you.
• 9:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know you were with your girls.
• 9:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't pressureing you, but you are in Atlanta.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, and so the last day, we went to, she was like, meet me at Croc Street Market.
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk to you, because she was staying with her girls.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so we met up there.
• 9:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And basically, she was like, tell her that God told her this weekend that we shouldn't be together.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she was saying that even though I was there, like, I was sitting like, maybe like a seat or two down from her, she was like, she just felt so distracted.
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So distracted.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just like, I mean, I was getting, when I needed that of it, I'm, you know, I'm locked in, but something about that just was like, it was a block for her.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's like, I think she took that as a sign.
• 9:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's when she was like, God tour that, you know, she needed to be alone.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know all this information now, but at the time I didn't know this information in January of the next year.
• 10:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this is November in January of the next year.
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: She got in a relationship.
• 10:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I knew it bro.
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yo, I'm telling you, as you tell the story, I'm like, yo, she wants to lie else.
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he was in my picture at that time.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: She got in a relationship and I didn't know this mind.
• 10:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You like I said, I didn't notice.
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we had kind of stopped talking cold turkey.
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I will reach out every once in a while, just like, hey, how are you?
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she would respond, like, cool.
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: She wasn't super like.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, she wasn't too, she wasn't communicating too much, but she wasn't like, not, she wasn't norming either.
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so long story short, February of this year, I see Apple's Instagram that she got married.
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Ehh, I was like,
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, module, this is this is 2024, November, we break up 2024.
• 10:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Since 2025, January, she's in a relationship, and then in 2020, she's married her, and she's married a year later.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, basically, two years after we met, but we were together for eight months.
• 10:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then she was with somebody four years and got essentially got married.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, it was just really interesting because he was located in Atlanta.
• 11:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's not any of the circles on man, but like we we have this program in my church called me man and he did that program as well I don't think I don't know if he did it like with me, but and he probably doesn't know why I am, but like it was just like how did you meet him right?
• 11:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know I'm at you on social and you live in Tampa Oh, how did you meet this guy like why are you broader?
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or what our homegirls that was here with her in that room.
• 11:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, yeah, let's meet a crowd they had set that up
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, but I just for you for you to have never been to Atlanta before and then I bring you out here two or three times and now you're dating somebody from Atlanta is like, you wasn't even exposed like everything we were doing was our first our first on a DC year first like she was that's what I liked about her everything was new everything was fun like this is my spot on like, oh, you've never been to a basketball game, I got I went to tick picking got some.
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sees four rolls down like you ain't never been you ain't never been in the hair as well It doesn't sky club.
• 12:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like oh my gosh Here's the thing once you get it say Somebody might have came in Trump you like yeah
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not that I was like trying to stun or nothing.
• 12:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just doing stuff I like to do.
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I love that.
• 12:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: We did very simple things too.
• 12:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm a very, I'm a pretty simple data.
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would say, I adjust to what you like.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like when do you like what I like?
• 12:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's figure out a way to make this work.
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: How did this situation make you feel?
• 12:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like when you saw this, she was in a relationship two months later.
• 12:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh man, it hurt.
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: It hurt because, you know, I've dealt with a lot of loss, like my ex before that, who you know, like she broke up with me when she went to medical school.
• 12:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: She went to become a doctor and Philadelphia.
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like I was broken up then as well.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not after four years of of, you know, sewing seeds and, you know, being a great partner, then I had a business partner break up.
• 13:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 13:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like,
• 13:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it me like in my in my in my self aware enough to know where I lack so that I could like fix these things Am I not communicating properly like
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: At some point, you have to say, is it you?
• 13:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that all of those situations were just situational and where people were in their life and we just might have not been in each other's life at the right time.
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, partly could be my fault on some things as well.
• 13:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it needs to be explored though, because you last two relationships, they left you.
• 13:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And not even necessarily saying that it's your fault,
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: It needs to be explored.
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: There has to be something where we say, okay, why, what is it about me do I think this person is not feeling?
• 13:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I definitely contributed to it, right?
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what would you think it is?
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, let me ask this question.
• 14:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is where I'm led to.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 14:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think you love hard, absolutely.
• 14:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes you can love so hard where it pushes a woman away, especially possible.
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: In that situation with the young lady, maybe you're moving too fast for her, but the fact that she moved into our relationship and then moved fast again.
• 14:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I thought that, and when when I was like, maybe it was too much, and there was times and for that last relationship,
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: There was, we'd like never ask each other to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
• 14:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: We just were together all the time.
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm like, we're together.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm not telling nobody else you're not, we already said we were like, committed to not talking to anybody else.
• 14:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And there was hesitancy because I was the same thing with my first ex.
• 14:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, the ex before that.
• 14:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I interrupted their natural life pattern because we met randomly.
• 15:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So my ex I was a doctor.
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: She was a medical school like trying to become a doctor.
• 15:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: We just happened to meet at community service.
• 15:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so like she was always going to be here to be a doctor.
• 15:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she was always going to go for the best.
• 15:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like she's Indian, like her family, she was always going to do that.
• 15:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I always, when I look back, I say I interrupted her pattern that she was going in.
• 15:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean it was a negative interruption.
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It just was an interruption.
• 15:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: with this young lady, she was on a journey.
• 15:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: She had just got out of relationship, actually the november before that around that time.
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't remember.
• 15:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was kind of already over, but officially I don't remember of the year before that.
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And February here, I come.
• 15:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm interrupting, even though it's not meant to be malicious, but maybe there was some more healing, there was a journey that she needed to be on that I kind of delayed some of that progress.
• 15:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then I think maybe when you see something happens or is a rare flag, but you see, then like, I should have, I never finished, and it's like, all right, well, let me just finish down, but then you find somebody else.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, you can look at it a bunch of different ways, but I try to just like reflect on what I could have done better because
• 16:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's easy to say, oh, you didn't, you didn't, but like, what could I have changed or done better?
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when I reflect on that, I really think that part of it is like listening to my partner more and hearing what they say when they are not happy or complaining about something, really just hearing it and being able to process it and then act in a way that feels safe.
• 16:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: How to say that I have been unsafe, but like you, let me like to be reassured, right?
• 16:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I'm like,
• 16:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can be cold sometimes, not in a way that's like, I'm not trying to be rude, but you be like, oh, I need this and I'm like, all right, cool, I like agree, but it's not like, I'm not like, okay, cool, how else could I, you know what I'm saying?
• 16:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm making take that extra step.
• 16:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just kind of like, it's easy to, hindsight is 2020, it's easy to like look back on that one, like when it's over.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: So what is dating look like now, like what do you, obviously on social media, I see you are looking, you are actively looking.
• 17:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 17:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: What does it look like now?
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: What are you doing?
• 17:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing anything right now.
• 17:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not that I'm not looking.
• 17:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're not going on dates right now?
• 17:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not really.
• 17:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't find people that I find interesting enough to want a date right now.
• 17:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, when I do like, so I'm, I have like a, uh, a semi-strict rule where like a coffee day is always the first day for me coffee day.
• 17:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't want to do coffee, then it's cool.
• 17:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm good.
• 17:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, because it's just an easy entry point and it's like, it's like, like, if we enjoy this conversation one time more, let's do something else, let's go eat, let's go do an activity.
• 17:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: But coffee is just an entry.
• 17:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, I don't drink coffee.
• 17:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: What they got to eat, they got a croissant, they got donuts, they got everything.
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just a time for us to be in public.
• 17:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Talk chat and so um and landed that might be looked at as like there's my cheapest and you know It is because I'm not about to spend money on all these people that I'm not for sure So like sure when and you've seen the interrelation when I'm in I don't mind spending money Yeah, but like imagine if I'm going to dinner twice a week
• 18:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: every month, you're looking at four or five, six hundred dollars and it's like, I'm getting nothing from that's a bad investment.
• 18:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Someone said that's a bad investment.
• 18:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like, coffee's like, all right, I spend $20, $30.
• 18:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if we like each other in this school, let's do something else.
• 18:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, let's hang out tomorrow.
• 18:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I really like you, let's do something again.
• 18:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So most people don't even make it past that and it's like, that's what we heck off me.
• 18:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you are, you play a role at change.
• 18:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what do you do marketing?
• 18:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: You did a marketing for the church.
• 18:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 18:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 18:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, marketing, change, they got some people in there.
• 18:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of people, a lot of people in there, and it's a lot of women.
• 18:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's almost like the spiritual law.
• 18:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't like the law of the way Jason a lot of you built that joy bro, it ain't nothing but Vibes in it.
• 18:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: You feel like I work out there now once I get a shape.
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Then I work out there, but I'm not going to work out there Cool, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure,
• 19:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is it difficult to not kind of poop where you eat?
• 19:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 19:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think self-discipline is really important.
• 19:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm very aware of how I appear and then what people see as well.
• 19:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I brought my friends to church that are women that I'm not interested in dating and they're like, who is that?
• 19:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who is that?
• 19:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like even like my friend like Milan or like Daniel come and I like hugged him like, oh you.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, no, my friends, but like people see everything and because we sit in the front is like, you, I don't even know who's looking behind me.
• 19:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have no clue.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I bought my friend suit once on this.
• 19:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody says, I'm like, who's that?
• 19:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like that.
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's my friend.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's my home.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 19:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: But she on page many times, like, that's my dog.
• 19:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's one part of about it.
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like aesthetics, right?
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you work in ministry,
• 20:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I said, I run a Bible study, so it's the same thing.
• 20:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will never date nobody from my Bible study, because I am shepherding.
• 20:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm leading people and it can be seen as predatory.
• 20:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, all you the leader, there's a certain, whatever.
• 20:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't, there's a connection with one and it's a, I mean.
• 20:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's tough because I have that kind of happen and like now she know like it didn't even get to a point where it's too crazy But like she don't even come to all right, but I was like any more.
• 20:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's lost her community Because they went on that first coffee day.
• 20:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's like but then like
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: If we don't work out and I you feel like you're looking at me differently, it's just a different.
• 20:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
• 20:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just try not to do that.
• 20:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And plus I think where you worship is supposed to be sacred.
• 20:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like, when I come to the house, I don't want to be like, I want to be here.
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or if I want to bring somebody, like, they're going to be looking at me.
• 20:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or if they bring somebody, like, trying to walk in front of me, like, it's tough.
• 20:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's not the place where you're supposed to find your mate because we clearly have the same.
• 20:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: believes in you know, it is a great spot to find somebody.
• 20:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think in my position a little hard Yeah, like because I'm so visible.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it makes it a little harder if I was this somebody who came and left as soon as Service is over it'd be different yeah, but I'm also like on stage.
• 21:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also like with the past or sometimes I'm also like
• 21:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's different.
• 21:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I think I just have to be more cautious about it.
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is possible.
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I do think it's possible.
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is it your pastor or like first lady ever be like, hey, Corey, that's yeah, all the time.
• 21:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can't really.
• 21:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 21:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: First lady.
• 21:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: She is supposed to be hooked me up with somebody.
• 21:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: First lady.
• 21:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, she asked me to send her a list of like things I like or I want one a woman.
• 21:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And let's run through that list real quick.
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got it.
• 21:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: You had the list.
• 21:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I had the list.
• 21:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I said, especially how many items are on the list?
• 21:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a lot.
• 21:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a lot.
• 21:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not a lot.
• 21:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 21:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a pretty simple guy.
• 21:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna spend the list today.
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 21:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, maybe we should tell you.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because if it's not, I think it shouldn't be too much.
• 21:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: You want to read it or you want to see it.
• 21:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let me read it, let me read it.
• 22:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 22:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, my preferences.
• 22:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Love Jesus in a 10 church regularly.
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: 2026.
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: 2026, but it's never because in the 90s, in the 90s, 2026.
• 22:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: So the way you described it is a clean natural simple look that is timeless.
• 22:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: 2026 fine is bolt-ups.
• 22:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: BBL over overly done makeup.
• 22:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Over the lips are a little extra here.
• 22:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Got the Lil Kim Lips.
• 22:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: 2026 fine is different, you're right.
• 22:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: New teeth.
• 22:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just saying, yeah, yeah, I'm for the audience, I'm explaining.
• 22:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely, I'm just thinking.
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's what it's like.
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: What a clarity, yeah, yeah.
• 22:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like the way you put that.
• 22:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 22:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: So 95.
• 22:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, some people think that 90's finally not.
• 22:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's the whole other story.
• 22:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, but fine is in the eye to be older.
• 23:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but 90's is specific.
• 23:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a specific area where you look at like the J.D.
• 23:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pake is the knee along.
• 23:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's like, there's a look that was happening in the 90's.
• 23:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: They had their original teeth, their original model.
• 23:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm just saying.
• 23:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: 90's fine, no kids unless it's a very specific situation.
• 23:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely, no kids.
• 23:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would prefer no kids unless it's a very specific situation.
• 23:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what I mean by that is like, you have help in a community that you can, you can get a babysitter last minute if you need to.
• 23:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I've that with women who just, it just would never work out because it was always something with the child.
• 23:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I can always.
• 23:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I was like, I don't mind because I know as we get older, people will have kids.
• 23:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't be unrealistic, but no.
• 23:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: The situation has to be conducive.
• 23:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: uh... we got athletic in the gym a few times a week and i go every day a few but you got to go yeah i go i don't care what she is doing as long as it is honorable and something she loves absolutely so she can't be a bottle girl
• 24:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, I don't want to buy in the club it's horrible.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's it's that not honorable work.
• 24:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is it honorable?
• 24:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
• 24:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is your list.
• 24:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't think that's honorable not not not saying there about person because you got to do what you got to do get your money But you're you're putting yourself in a situation be surrounded by a lot of stuff that I don't partake in so I used to work in the club.
• 24:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know what happens in the world.
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what's going on.
• 24:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you got to be a little extra to get the tip.
• 24:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: You got to learn what you got to do you got to
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're money, if you're money, if you're money, if you're money, if you're not, if you're money, you're just not for me in this season of your life.
• 24:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm horrible.
• 24:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
• 24:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 24:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like this is a good list.
• 24:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not bad.
• 24:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: One is honorable.
• 24:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Something she loves style.
• 24:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Has some fashion sense.
• 24:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it helped both of us.
• 24:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 24:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'd be needing to.
• 24:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I can't be either looking crazy.
• 24:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's my this question, so could you date somebody who just every time they come out they just just crazy.
• 25:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know my first ice kind of good and dress.
• 25:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: My Indian, the doctor, he fixed it.
• 25:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, I slowly, but surely.
• 25:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 25:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the way you do it, too, like.
• 25:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not a deal breaker.
• 25:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just one thing that you like.
• 25:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I like when it's on a girl come to it.
• 25:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this looks good together, like me.
• 25:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Cause I used to ask my sister for help.
• 25:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I still do.
• 25:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, what this is, what this is like, she's like, oh, yeah, do this, it is.
• 25:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But like to have like a partner next to you to, oh, I would love that.
• 25:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 25:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 25:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 25:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to be able to see buttering qualities.
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, lecturing.
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've been lecturing.
• 25:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, typo.
• 25:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to be able to be strong where I'm weak, when it was deeply rooted in family values, kind and enthusiastic and optimistic about life.
• 25:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's actually a strong list.
• 25:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not too much.
• 25:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not at the end.
• 25:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I know, it's not too much.
• 25:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think it's just enough because there's layers to your answer.
• 25:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: That is a really good list.
• 25:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
• 25:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is that a unicorn?
• 25:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is that a park at least?
• 25:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: That list?
• 25:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not, right?
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't think so?
• 26:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't for real for real.
• 26:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not about to make it weird, bro.
• 26:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I never found that.
• 26:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm not going to make it weird, but you know, as I was reading, you know, okay, it's that whole list.
• 26:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're, essentially, that list, right?
• 26:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, yeah, she's, okay, is it?
• 26:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just, do I have to go and see this?
• 26:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's the list?
• 26:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, thank you for that, are you?
• 26:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: What?
• 26:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you think you need to work on?
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm coming back to that question because I didn't get a clear answer, okay?
• 26:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: You, from your perspective, what are, give me, give me the list of things you need to work on, yeah.
• 26:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it starts with like being a good listener.
• 26:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think I listen well, but sometimes I'm like, I, I'm gonna say, no, when I know I'm right, it's hard for me to listen.
• 26:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes what I found in my relationships and just women I've talked to are dealt with is that they don't always have the greatest one to be heard even if they know they're wrong.
• 27:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I'm like, I'm such a common sense person, like, here's the facts, this is common sense.
• 27:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't even need to talk about this anymore.
• 27:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I've understood from experience that like, some people would just want to be heard and want to be understood.
• 27:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I learned a lot with the last woman that I was talking to.
• 27:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 27:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: You'll listen more with us.
• 27:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would say that patients, I have a low tolerance for stupidity.
• 27:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if I like the way you're screaming it.
• 27:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I may have said that wrong.
• 27:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a horrible way to follow me.
• 27:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't mean it like, I don't want to call anybody a stupid, but like, it's common sense.
• 27:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, common sense things once again.
• 27:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just have a little tolerance for it.
• 27:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, why would you do that?
• 27:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't think you're being accountable right now.
• 27:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why do you say that?
• 27:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because your first answer was, I need to listen more.
• 27:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And the way you said to listen more was,
• 27:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
• 27:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got to read it back, but it was like there was an escape in there.
• 28:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: The second thing you just said was, I need to, uh, what was the second one?
• 28:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, first one.
• 28:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Patients.
• 28:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Patients.
• 28:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Patients.
• 28:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Patients.
• 28:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have patience for dumb stuff, meaning things I consider down.
• 28:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
• 28:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: But what you're saying is, you need to work on dealing with someone's nonsense, essentially.
• 28:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: But today, yeah, I could have worth it.
• 28:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: You say, I commented since, yeah, it's not common.
• 28:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's common to you, there's a bunch of things that me and my wife will look at is, you should know that, hey, right, I don't, unfortunately.
• 28:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I know a bunch of stuff this year.
• 28:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, right.
• 28:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: So let's run that tape back.
• 28:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, okay, that's fair.
• 28:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: things you need to work on.
• 28:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, let's start with patients.
• 28:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So definitely patients.
• 28:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would say rather than that, I would say giving people the space that they deserve in order from you to understand better.
• 29:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's a better way to put it.
• 29:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Go a little deeper.
• 29:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to know that you understand.
• 29:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would say
• 29:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I think sometimes like let's just let's give an example like I say hey before okay if you're watching my dog right very big part of my life At night time I'm like hey can you make sure all blinds are down when the when when you leave or you know at a certain time when it gets start because I don't live in the best neighborhood I got the nice house in the hood so just put the blinds down
• 29:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I come home and they're not down.
• 29:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just sit on the couch chillin'.
• 29:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, oh, I told you to put the blinds down like, and she might be like, oh, my bad.
• 29:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got into the show whenever, because it's not really a huge deal, but I'm looking at the future.
• 29:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like somebody looked at my house, they kind of see the layout like, so I'm seeing those things.
• 29:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's not knowing what I'm thinking like that.
• 29:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So instead of going off on her immediately, kind of explain calmly like, hey, this is what I say to this.
• 29:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, just kind of at least the first time be like, you know, just this is very important to me, like emphasize how important it is sometimes when the first time I'm like, come on man, like, and I'm already pissed because when I'm walking up I'm seeing the windows open and I'm like, if I can see in I know somebody else can see in yeah, so this is what I'm thinking so like not being so quick to try to correct, but just like.
• 30:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: People are humans like you was watching love island and you got caught up.
• 30:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get it like so that's what I mean I think that's what I'm saying about patients.
• 30:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't like the list for a real team.
• 30:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, it's a horrible list because.
• 30:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 30:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Even when we double down, I need patients with where your week.
• 30:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: But this isn't a fixed me list that's happening right now.
• 30:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let me do an example.
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 30:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I would not talk to you for a while.
• 30:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 30:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: The thing that happened that made me shut down could not be that big, but I shut down.
• 30:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just, yeah, it was crazy.
• 31:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's my son just trying to pick it up too.
• 31:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because I can like correct him some way and he would like run away and just go into his room and just be in his room.
• 31:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Kids three.
• 31:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: But this is a 100% fault of mine, it says nothing to do with me being patient with you not putting the blinds out as I told you to.
• 31:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 31:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: The list that I'm trying to get you to create is looking deeper inside what is wrong with you.
• 31:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got a bunch of stuff wrong with me.
• 31:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 31:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 31:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I haven't heard you say something that is your fault without someone else being involved.
• 31:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think because when we're talking about relationship, I'm thinking of like me and my partner for so, so like I think I think there's different things you need to work like something like only for yourself like as a human, then I think there's like
• 32:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would agree with that for me as well.
• 32:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, give me a lesson.
• 32:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Give me a lesson.
• 32:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't have to do with them being something wrong.
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because we could say, I need to be, I need to listen more.
• 32:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's say, I need to listen more.
• 32:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: What they're telling me is, I know I'm right.
• 32:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: That was it.
• 32:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're saying, I'm right.
• 32:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know I'm right.
• 32:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I need to listen to their perspective.
• 32:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: meaning they're wrong and I need to tolerate it essentially.
• 32:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I see.
• 32:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 32:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's a difference in saying.
• 32:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think we're just saying.
• 32:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 32:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I am not considering it.
• 32:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need to consider my wife more.
• 32:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: If I'm out of town, I need to think to call her more because I know where she's thinking.
• 32:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know she's wondering what's going on and I can use.
• 32:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: I use the excuse that I'm busy, but this is simply me being in considering.
• 33:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: So let's start this list over.
• 33:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 33:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm framing this way.
• 33:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 33:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Where
• 33:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've never heard anybody call me toxic, um, I think consideration is because when you broke it down like that, I thought of times where I could have been more considerate and that oftentimes that comes with communication and listening in those things, so I think consideration is important.
• 33:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that I could be more emotionally available.
• 33:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: We get somewhere according to come on.
• 33:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe emotionally available.
• 33:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: In what way, it seems like you love hard now, though.
• 33:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no, I still do, I'm not tainted by anything I've been through.
• 33:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it just helped me build understanding and ask more questions early, you know.
• 33:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I think sometimes, I would say for me, I have to just let myself, I have to explain this.
• 33:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have to be more vulnerable and open.
• 34:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, because that creates a safe space for somebody else to do so as well.
• 34:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so sometimes when I'm just like, so like hard get to it, hustle these things, it can come off as I'm not available and open to receive what you may need.
• 34:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I definitely need to like just be, I don't want to use the word softer, but a little softer, right?
• 34:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like you don't have to be so hard, especially in a space that's supposed to be safe.
• 34:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I would I would say anything else.
• 34:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I'm sure there's a whole list of things.
• 34:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, here's what I like you to do.
• 34:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you don't have to list of things you want.
• 34:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 34:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: You need to make the same list of things you need to fix.
• 34:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
• 34:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can agree with that.
• 34:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't think you've analyzed.
• 34:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: these women that you're really into leaving you.
• 34:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe we chuck it up to, okay, she could say, well, God told me to distance myself, but it was something.
• 34:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was a reason.
• 34:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: But we got a dig a little deeper.
• 34:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for sure.
• 34:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can agree with that.
• 34:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think when you can be self aware and do that work, it's very valuable.
• 35:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I also learn on people who I got talked to when people were in my circle, I asked, like,
• 35:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do I have that situation or how I ask questions?
• 35:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And at the time when I'm wrong, I'm like, yeah, you're right.
• 35:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't kind of messed up.
• 35:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'll apologize and I'm not over being corrected.
• 35:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not too good for that.
• 35:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think correction is excellently don't make the same mistake again.
• 35:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Cool.
• 35:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you drink?
• 35:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 35:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Never or ever, never, never, smoke, never, hookah, never, okay.
• 35:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, do you want to wait until you're married for intimacy?
• 35:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that'd be the ideal plan.
• 35:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, absolutely.
• 35:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you think you rushed the marriage?
• 35:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I didn't rush the marriage.
• 35:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to say it.
• 35:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I mean, ease your said to done.
• 35:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, I was rushing with somebody like this going to be alive anyway.
• 35:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Every day that goes by, you just, yeah, I think that, um,
• 35:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't control me in that way to where.
• 36:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, I would have rushed Mary, Mary is a big decision.
• 36:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, sure.
• 36:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not somebody that believes that once you're a Mary that you should split, I believe that that's your partner for like being chose that partner.
• 36:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I would consider myself to be very picky and trying to make a wise decision.
• 36:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, because I I date to Mary.
• 36:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't date today.
• 36:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not dating just to have fun.
• 36:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like if I don't see you as someone like physically, emotionally those things in the first few times.
• 36:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: We talk like like in my wife.
• 36:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to waste your time.
• 36:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 36:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's no point.
• 36:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: The better on what is, I think, um, sexual frustration can cloud judgment.
• 36:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think so too.
• 36:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I agree with that.
• 36:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I definitely, especially if someone is like, some people have like more sex appeal than others.
• 36:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 36:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because of the type of when I tip a key date, they're more like a simple, they don't like present.
• 36:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: In sexual ways is a little easier.
• 36:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think if I went the more Instagram model, it would probably be harder, but typically I don't lean towards that.
• 36:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like that.
• 36:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I think I do, because I'm around people who may appear that way sometimes, but I don't, I don't feel that I, that's my type.
• 37:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: God, could you date someone that doesn't, that the key date's one that drinks,
• 37:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That drinks, um, are they control of it?
• 37:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or like, I don't know how to say your drink is true.
• 37:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I mean, are you not going to have a drink?
• 37:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no.
• 37:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the problem.
• 37:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to limit that bad dinner?
• 37:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 37:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you're good.
• 37:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're good.
• 37:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: But about it.
• 37:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: So what a casually smokes.
• 37:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't really like smoking.
• 37:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Smoke is not my thing.
• 37:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not really a big fan of smoking.
• 37:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've never also dating anyone that smoked for real.
• 37:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I can't say that I have a large experience with that.
• 37:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Got it.
• 37:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Are you cool with someone who doesn't want to wait to a marriage for intimacy?
• 37:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Am I cool with it?
• 37:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, what's the reasoning?
• 37:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's just, they don't feel the need that we have to wait until, because I mean, at the end of the day, waiting for marriage guarantees nothing.
• 37:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't think it's about that.
• 37:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's about, if you say you truly follow Jesus Christ as your Lord and say, we're the new one to make, because that's the covenant that the Bible says.
• 38:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you, I want somebody that has the same religious beliefs as me, someone who loves Jesus Christ.
• 38:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if that's not what you, you want to do, or that's not what you do, then we probably would be right for each other anyways.
• 38:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're saying you're trying to live a Christ life, like Christ, like life, then you would be trying to at least.
• 38:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not to say, do you want to mess up?
• 38:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Cause I messed up, I ain't, I'm not about that.
• 38:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: you would be on that same trajectory as me.
• 38:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, well, but again, that that maybe a little unfair because you said the one young lady, she attacked you, essentially, and you felt to it.
• 38:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 38:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's true.
• 38:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if I was in this fleet, I did not flee.
• 38:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: You didn't flee.
• 38:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I did not flee.
• 38:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: It means you're not telling me Christ like, no.
• 38:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had a moment of weakness to him human, right?
• 38:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I've not touched on.
• 38:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got to at the lean on God for those things.
• 38:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: So the only reason I'm going down this is because sometimes in that line of question when people say, you know, I want to wait and so I'm married.
• 39:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a cool thing to say, but that's not really my desire.
• 39:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's tough, right?
• 39:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like you have to constantly deny yourself or something that your body wants.
• 39:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: The emotions want.
• 39:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I desire that I would like that.
• 39:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm not too.
• 39:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not too naive to think that that couldn't happen and that's not the end of me like I would I was still open to pursuing that relationship Yeah, but the probability if Let's just say you are having a conversation and you're like, well, I mean, we might date for two years and nothing happened And she's saying, well, that doesn't seem realistic to me
• 39:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think that that is the end of the real of us being together.
• 39:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 39:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: So she starts saying, in this situation, she's essentially saying, well, I don't feel the need to wait to me.
• 39:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think how you position it, too.
• 39:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because like, if you position like that, I'm like, all right, cool.
• 39:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if it's like, from the day one is like, yeah, I don't want to wait is like, that's a little different energy, right?
• 40:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: But that's just being honest.
• 40:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is, it is, but like, I'm all you want to, you want to wait to marriage, you want to wait to marriage.
• 40:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, cool.
• 40:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: But we won't know until you're in a situation with someone you've really, really, really, really looking to measure.
• 40:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's really easy to say that when you don't have nobody to like, that you want to do that with.
• 40:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's very easy to say it.
• 40:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: So what do you think probability is good of that?
• 40:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're you're with someone.
• 40:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, with each other every single day and we are, we are together together.
• 40:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: What is the probability of that actually happening?
• 40:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like over a zero percent.
• 40:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm zero percent because I've never got married.
• 40:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's just my own personal stats.
• 40:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm saying.
• 40:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, but I don't want to be thrown off by that conversation.
• 40:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: First day, he's like, well, I don't, I really don't think I want to wait until marriage.
• 40:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I wait until we're in a serious relationship, of course.
• 40:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't want to wait until marriage.
• 41:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think, you know, my own personal opinion is that
• 41:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like when you're actively seeking and trying to be as much like crisis possible.
• 41:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what God wants.
• 41:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, sure.
• 41:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: He died on cross for our sins.
• 41:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: So he knows we're going to sin.
• 41:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean you're just freely sin and do what you want to.
• 41:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: But you should also be trying to seek living that Christ life like.
• 41:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I just think that I want somebody who also is going to like try to seek that with me.
• 41:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 41:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: With the understanding that at least we'll say it.
• 41:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 41:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's like.
• 41:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not to say it, at least try.
• 41:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, please try.
• 41:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then if it happens, like you know, we talk about, we kind of like, we need to get to the point of like,
• 41:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I used the girls in last, for example, too.
• 41:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I saw on the post when they got married, she said that they'd never kissed before they got married.
• 41:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think from our situation, it was so like, it shook up so much.
• 41:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: They didn't even kiss before they got their marriage with their first kiss.
• 41:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like,
• 41:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, does it have to be that extreme?
• 42:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it does.
• 42:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you know what your triggers are, you should probably stay away from those triggers.
• 42:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for sure.
• 42:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, so like, if I'm cutting them inside, you probably don't touch my leg.
• 42:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I should probably let you know that.
• 42:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: But even the cuddle, I mean, that's the same thing.
• 42:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm just like, if I'm just using, I just use a random example, but like, I think trying to stay away from triggers is like where you start.
• 42:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: If we have the same angle, the north star is the same, and then we know what can deter us from that north star.
• 42:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's just try to start there by not getting to that point where you can be triggered.
• 42:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not as good, that's good, but I believe I believe even watching movies in the evening is a gateway to gateway to gateway.
• 42:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think it's true.
• 42:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Start with the kids.
• 42:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: The kids is a gateway.
• 42:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And people struggle with different things.
• 42:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know my pastor talks about like listen to R&B music sometimes and he's like,
• 42:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's that's never been struggle for me.
• 42:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't that's not what like I don't hear army music You want to go to my wife.
• 42:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not my my testimony.
• 42:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Some people that is they hear pretty ricky They they ready to get down.
• 42:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, everybody don't have that same conviction and so if you know what yours is you should probably stay We're from that and some some people are like if you touch me kids me whatever I know I'ma just get going so you just got to know yourself.
• 43:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's that's a lot of software.
• 43:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's key dates on that used to be yeah No
• 43:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you used to be gay, like you just decided you not getting a more like, I mean, you say gay to me in a relationship or just like, like, you know, I mess with a girl before.
• 43:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, because I think it's a double standard, like, I think I feel like it is to the world.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: But to me, if you were in a relationship with a woman and you actively, like, light women like that, I couldn't do it.
• 43:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Actively right now, it's just I used to have this lifestyle.
• 43:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 43:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 43:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 43:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 43:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's another man who don't like women.
• 43:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you want to hear?
• 43:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't like women right now.
• 43:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh.
• 43:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's healed.
• 43:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I put that across to each of you.
• 43:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think so.
• 43:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't think so.
• 44:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't think so.
• 44:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean it's a fair answer.
• 44:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm and then I have so much question like which one were you in the relationship like I got a lot of questions.
• 44:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you was the guy in the relationship, you just your look check I don't know if you're changing their whole looks.
• 44:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really like it's a lot of questions.
• 44:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: But you want athletic you play ball, little time boy.
• 44:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Come on, are you?
• 44:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's a bunch of beautiful women who play basketball.
• 44:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Beautiful little.
• 44:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: That are not good.
• 44:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly, but
• 44:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: That would probably be the more, I don't want to say the guy.
• 44:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to say that, but the more what's it called?
• 44:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like competitive with you?
• 44:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, what's it called?
• 44:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Where they're the more, and I don't like the masculine.
• 44:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the more Matt, yeah.
• 44:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 44:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't even want to talk about it, because I might be saying it wrong.
• 44:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I might be.
• 44:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's correct.
• 44:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now you give really, yes.
• 44:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, all right.
• 44:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, last thing, how do we handle?
• 44:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Her level of financial literacy, how important is that to you?
• 45:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Very important.
• 45:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, you don't have to like have a ton of money, but just know how to work with you.
• 45:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Got just know how to make a dollar last, right?
• 45:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I've been in season where I've been up, up, up, up, up in the season where I've been down, down, down, yeah.
• 45:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like I need you to be able to like keep me even killing levels and those situations.
• 45:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't always been the best one money.
• 45:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so from my experience, I've learned a lot so that I won't make the same mistakes.
• 45:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just need you to be understanding.
• 45:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: on the same level as that.
• 45:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what you do as a, your job doesn't really matter to me as long as the honorable, those things, but like, just like if you, if you live in off of 5,000 a month and you survive and you live in a, a sound life for you, cool.
• 45:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: 300 hours score.
• 45:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, 300.
• 45:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that might be the lowest, say it.
• 45:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: 300 now.
• 45:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't do 300 that they just aren't have a trash credit score.
• 45:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why do that like the day parents, but they name on stuff early.
• 45:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, just they suck it money right now.
• 46:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: So what I'm saying is here's the problem.
• 46:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Here's the problem.
• 46:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: What the answer is because you meet them and you don't realize they have a 300 credit score until you're in.
• 46:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 46:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's true.
• 46:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think what was your access credit score?
• 46:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: You might not know.
• 46:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was pretty good actually.
• 46:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know it.
• 46:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, both of them.
• 46:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's pretty good.
• 46:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we had those conversations because Both of those times I had business things going on that we talked about those things.
• 46:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so They just happen to come up.
• 46:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not that's not it's not a it's not a part of my initial questions.
• 46:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for sure.
• 46:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I will say You're in by time you know, I think I think you asked enough questions and see enough things to know like There there'll be signs.
• 46:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there'll always be signs and
• 46:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Someone who's always forgetful of things and like, you look at some of the things they bought and like, where you live at versus this, versus what you say you make is like, you can put it together.
• 46:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you truly are looking and trying to be intentional how you date.
• 46:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: God, have you ever cheated?
• 46:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, never.
• 46:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Never.
• 47:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And let me say this, physically cheated.
• 47:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that like,
• 47:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Man like lust can be considered cheating as well.
• 47:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Especially if you were in the way out of the relationship.
• 47:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, lust and like having inappropriate conversations, I've had inappropriate conversations.
• 47:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't mean like like the nasty, but sometimes I just have something you shouldn't have with somebody that's not your partner.
• 47:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I wouldn't, I haven't like cheated on somebody.
• 47:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Got it.
• 47:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 47:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, last question.
• 47:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's say the woman wants a big, extravagant wedding.
• 47:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just had this conversation with somebody.
• 47:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm actually not a, so you, this is what I want.
• 47:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now obviously with my partner wants to be.
• 47:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: a woman dreams after wedding.
• 47:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Typically, I know it's a change a little bit.
• 47:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a cool with a courthouse wedding.
• 47:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a courthouse in San Francisco.
• 47:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it is beautiful stairs through the whole photo shoot.
• 47:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You bring your close friends, a family out there, you get married, your best friend, your two best friends, my two best friends, my mom, my sister.
• 48:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: The people that deserve to be there really need to be there.
• 48:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we get married.
• 48:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sign of paperwork is a union.
• 48:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think I would like to just have a party.
• 48:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, when you say you have an party versus wedding, the cost of the venue is much different.
• 48:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, sure.
• 48:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: You see the wedding is $20,000.
• 48:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: That same venue is $5,000 for a party.
• 48:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: But what if the woman really desires a big wedding?
• 48:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was a deal breaker.
• 48:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would ask questions, I don't think anything could be like a deal break without finding out the route of why.
• 48:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So have you just seen it in the past?
• 48:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it something that your parents and like what's the reason and why?
• 48:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once I understand a reason, I could say, okay, well, let's look at our financial situation first.
• 48:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's look at like, okay, if you want to spend X amount on a wedding, like, do we have a home?
• 48:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, are we putting down somebody for a home?
• 48:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what do you want to do for your honeymoon?
• 48:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think there's questions that have to be asked.
• 48:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe you should have what you desire.
• 48:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I also believe that there are things that are financially smart and not.
• 48:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is like one of those things we just talked about finance is like, you want to spend $50,000 on one day.
• 49:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get it this year today.
• 49:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's like, how is this pushing us forward as well?
• 49:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because we're married to paperwork, whether we have the ceremony or not.
• 49:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like the paperwork says legally that we're married.
• 49:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what that is.
• 49:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is just a celebration of it.
• 49:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but she got to think about this little girl from 10 years old and watching her friends have these dope weddings and that is a desire of her heart.
• 49:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she doesn't want to go to the courthouse because she's been taught that she deserves this.
• 49:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I imagine being in love, let's just say you're not this last one, but the previous X, because y'all are in love, lived together on that, fornicating, and you know what I mean?
• 49:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I'll let them live together.
• 49:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was just COVID.
• 49:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: The word for the case is the lyrics.
• 49:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is not a sound like real bad.
• 49:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Real bad.
• 49:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, let's just say I do not want to get married until we can do it the way I saw in my head.
• 49:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is that a deal breaker for you?
• 50:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: If she's not willing to budget her stance, I would say yes.
• 50:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: That would have been a deal breaker for me too.
• 50:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: We was a girl.
• 50:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then she kept hinting at, you know, I want to have a wedding.
• 50:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to have a wedding.
• 50:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I wasn't with it.
• 50:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I did.
• 50:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: She does say, okay, I have to have a wedding and we compromise and we went down to Orlando.
• 50:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've had a wedding in front of a lake.
• 50:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to say that lake was just a public lake, but it was nice, bro.
• 50:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: We got a lake in here.
• 50:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was Lakeland area.
• 50:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Should I go old you but it was nice.
• 50:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no I don't think it was no set or beach or nothing.
• 50:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was just a man grass and water, but it was really really nice and I gave her that right.
• 50:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we might have spent maybe 13,000
• 50:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: you deserve like she deserves it.
• 50:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 50:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like this is somebody I chose to be my wife.
• 50:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You deserve it for sure.
• 50:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just like, let's look at how do we fare after this?
• 50:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 50:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: We got $10,000 in debt.
• 50:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: We spent $50,000.
• 51:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: That just doesn't make sense to me.
• 51:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 51:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And my partner would understand that.
• 51:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like I also think like after my own anniversary, you should get upgraded ring if that's what you if that's what you choose the one.
• 51:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that it's just it's compromising certain places.
• 51:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I believe it was right.
• 51:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's
• 51:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, she said some a couple weeks ago about when you want to read new your vows, I'm like I want to do that.
• 51:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't know.
• 51:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know the point.
• 51:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't get the point, but it's the part of me being more considerate.
• 51:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 51:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: So as you said it, I did not say what I saw in my head.
• 51:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I don't know.
• 51:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I felt okay.
• 51:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, let's let's plan it.
• 51:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 51:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: In my head, I'm like, what?
• 51:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you choose peace over just like anything else and I love peace.
• 51:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I want to choose that if it's not too far from where we're going like we're still heading in the right direction and it's just more peaceful for me.
• 51:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm choosing that every time.
• 51:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 52:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right.
• 52:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Corey, I think you're I think you're I think you're I think you're I think you're I think you're I think you're going to be a really really good catch.
• 52:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: As soon as you take accountability and find out what's wrong with you.
• 52:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need that list.
• 52:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna do a follow up, bro.
• 52:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need that list.
• 52:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: First of all, first of all, I did a five that is wrong with you.
• 52:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Did you gotta fix immediately?
• 52:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I could do it.
• 52:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm off work.
• 52:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm off for self work.
• 52:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm off work.
• 52:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
• 52:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can someone contact you and give me the process.
• 52:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Somebody's watching us right now.
• 52:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like, yeah, I do want to say something to her.
• 52:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Have you seen him at the Bible study in his little suit?
• 52:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, have you seen him?
• 52:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: A suit is crazy.
• 52:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't wear suit shirts?
• 52:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't.
• 52:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 52:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, well, I've been seeing your church in your little pants and your bikies.
• 52:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like it.
• 52:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: How should they approach you?
• 52:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or how should they let themselves know that they're available?
• 52:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I like, I like for women to be just kind of straightforward with it because there's woman who said, I watch how to talk to you.
• 53:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, when?
• 53:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, I said, hey, to you in the line.
• 53:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like,
• 53:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: People speak to me all the time for different reasons.
• 53:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why he's speaking to me.
• 53:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think making it known and clear.
• 53:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Guys, we're not as smart as you may think we are in that aspect.
• 53:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: We just don't know, because I don't want to assume your friendliness as you flirting.
• 53:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 53:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can just be a friendly person.
• 53:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've made that mistake before.
• 53:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: It didn't play yourself.
• 53:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that was you flirting.
• 53:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're like, what?
• 53:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are you doing?
• 53:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had a boyfriend.
• 53:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just was saying that.
• 53:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: See, that's why, you know, it was just tell me.
• 53:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: But for me, like, I like you to just come as you are, like be yourself.
• 53:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't try to spit game when I'm at, like, if you're a joke, so naturally say a joke, like,
• 53:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have, I had a girl trying to roast me before and he's like, I thought it was fun, I just wasn't a try to do it, but I thought it was hilarious.
• 53:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, hey, this will work on me if I like you.
• 53:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, just be yourself, be authentic.
• 53:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have people with my DMs, not that I want, but people being my DMs, I was selling you like, a bunch of women from Nigeria and Africa just being my DMs for some reason.
• 54:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: That actually lived there.
• 54:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's still lived currently in the motherland.
• 54:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: What did you say?
• 54:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so handsome.
• 54:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do you hear the accent?
• 54:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
• 54:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, Asian accent.
• 54:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if that's racist, but that's.
• 54:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what to call it.
• 54:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's like, how do you do the accent?
• 54:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: They just say, I'm handsome.
• 54:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like a good guy.
• 54:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they say that like all their stats.
• 54:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm 31.
• 54:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm this like they'll say all the information in the first message.
• 54:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like crazy.
• 54:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: This thing was a little bad.
• 54:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's changed.
• 54:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't be doing it.
• 54:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 54:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Man, why?
• 54:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now here's the end, here's the end, you know, if you are showing attraction, I want you to DMCore and just say I saw that episode.
• 54:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna assume that if he's like I saw that episode we're gonna assume that that's a little flirt right there Okay, I can I like I like a good Mini chat response No, no, no, I'm just saying they might see it and then walk into your DM.
• 55:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I a chorus all your episode They might leave it right there cuz it's just easier to
• 55:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: I like that.
• 55:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's a good entryway.
• 55:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a fan.
• 55:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I heard you, um, I don't know if you were down in talking to somebody.
• 55:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And y'all were asking, like, the approach somebody in public.
• 55:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it was down.
• 55:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I, like, would you go up to one more, she's eaten by herself.
• 55:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And like, talk.
• 55:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And like for me, when I'm trying to pursue a woman or I'm interested, she looks good and I see her, I always try to find a commonality, so, you know, it might be like, you know, are you AKS and you got parole on your shoes like I just like one look, I just make one comment to like break the ice, I think it's a comment that you notice something you notice, you know,
• 55:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You a sneaker yesterday wearing like whatever might be I like that cuz it shows you like a paid attention You see something.
• 55:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just I need that initial wall to be broken now Yeah, but you wouldn't know that that's flirting might just really like a shoes just to start the conversation just open it
• 55:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: like, I feel like a lot of guys come in, especially a lot of content creators, they come in with these pickup lines of stuff, like, just break, I don't think they break that initial barrier of like, you're a stranger, you come up to me.
• 56:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know you don't know me.
• 56:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me find something that we have in comments so I could just get us on a conversation.
• 56:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then from near, I kind of take it to see how it goes.
• 56:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Gotcha.
• 56:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and last thing, body type.
• 56:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would like a athletic build.
• 56:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not strong, would just athletic.
• 56:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: So not super slim.
• 56:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like, I like a little, I like a slam with a little body.
• 56:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a slam deck.
• 56:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, I'm short of your, I mean, I'm not, I'm like 5-9 or I'm like 6-2.
• 56:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like 6-2, you know what's funny on the wrist, whenever I say I'm 6-2, the Thregos viral.
• 56:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if I don't put my heart, it doesn't.
• 56:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, I can throw it on there, that's all another story.
• 56:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: But now I'm like 5-9 and probably like 5-10 with Bluenciagas all.
• 56:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I like to just like, I'm short.
• 56:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I got a girl who like, I can just like hug, like, hug, bow, slump, skewed, natural look very simple, like, clean.
• 57:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't know, I don't ask for much.
• 57:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like a little weight on it, no.
• 57:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's a little weight, let's just a little weight.
• 57:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: A little weight, you can do something a little weight, do something a little bit.
• 57:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: because wait looks differently on different people.
• 57:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're right.
• 57:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm asking because some people like a low weight.
• 57:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some people like them, reals.
• 57:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got a friend who's like a real slim, but also have a friend who's like like a weighty.
• 57:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like waiting in the right area.
• 57:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, sure, sure.
• 57:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Definitely.
• 57:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 57:33
  [UNKNOWN]: Okay.
• 57:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You did really good, Corey.
• 57:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate it.
• 57:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let everybody know how to find you man, and how they can start flirting.
• 57:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can find me, um, I have AOL, not I'm sweating.
• 57:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have Instagram and TikTok and all of that.
• 57:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's my name, Cory Arvinger.
• 57:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm short of be here on that episode, but you can size my name, and I'm like that.
• 57:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: There we go, man.
• 57:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for coming to the exit interview.
• 57:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, say Cory and D.M.
• 57:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: We want to see what happens, okay?
• 57:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if it works out, we definitely go air to episode to have a conversation.
• 58:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm doing a referral for you too.
• 58:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I had to get rid of that.
• 58:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got a referral for you.
• 58:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was just like a 10% of your happiness.