Latest / Reality TV Cringe / 119: Sister Wives - Christine and David, Part 2 (S18E20)

Transcript

119: Sister Wives - Christine and David, Part 2 (S18E20) · Reality TV Cringe

0:10
Hello, and welcome to Reality TV Cringe. I am one of your hosts,
0:14
Delia here with my real tight homegirl and my daughter in law Beatrice.
0:20
Hi. Everybody notice anything different about me? Beatrice? You got your hair?
0:25
Did my hair did? I went and got it colored. I know
0:29
a lot of you, most of you are listening, you're not watching,
0:31
but those on YouTube can see my new hair do. Yeah. I love
0:35
myself. I'm feeling sexy and like an exhibitionist like Christine. Wow, are
0:43
you going to go dry hump your husband? You know how hot I am,
0:46
honey, and how hot for Ma May and I am? Oh wow,
0:50
God Christine. We'll get into it. Yeah, before we do,
0:55
we want to remind you had your wife hajiakiya. It's this is a politically
0:59
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1:03
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feedback and your thoughts and all right, yeah, let's get into it.
2:25
Let's get into it. So before we get into the actual episode, you
2:30
sent me an article huh, which I then pulled up good and I want
2:35
to read for the raccoons and for us to discuss perfect because I didn't read
2:38
it. You didn't read it. I just read the headline. Okay,
2:42
good, Well, I will read it for everybody. This is from the
2:44
Sun and the title of the article reads as follows. Sister Wives. Cody
2:50
Brown was featured in Christine's wedding special because quote, it's his show and he
2:57
quote needed the page. Did he say that, Well, let's get into
3:01
it. I don't know. Christina and David Woolly's wedding special aired on January
3:06
seventh, and obviously last night as well, and despite not physically being present,
3:12
Cody managed to still be a part of it, which annoys me deep
3:15
into my spirit that I had to look at him and Robin. I know,
3:20
so stupid. But according to a source, Kindra, Robin's friend Kindre,
3:27
he had a good reason as to why quote, Sister Wives is Cody's
3:31
show. He's head of the family and in the beginning, he was head
3:35
of the family's contract, the source told the US Son exclusively. Also,
3:40
he was the one who initiated the show. It will forever be his show.
3:46
He's being kind to allow Christine on the show at this point, but
3:52
as far as the special goes, he had to be a part of it
3:55
because he knows it brings him money. Well, yeah, they're broke.
4:00
They're going broke. I think they're on the road to broke. Yeah.
4:02
Cody fifty four years old, was part of the wedding special by appearing in
4:06
a filmed interview with his last standing wife, Robin Age forty five. They
4:13
along with his ex Mary Brown, were not invited to the wedding. Apart
4:16
from Sister Wives being his show, he needed a paycheck. The source claimed,
4:21
this is his life and it's what is helping him to pay his bills.
4:26
He's gonna keep filming as long as he needs to. He's not going
4:30
anywhere. Oh my wow, he's not going anywhere. So who's the source?
4:35
Is it? Robin Brown? Probably without a Crystal Ball or Cody.
4:40
Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, I know, like with Bravo and
4:45
The Housewives, I think with Ninny Leaks, when they were starting to cycle
4:50
her out of the franchise, they gave her a contract where she could get
4:56
money but only if she appeared in an episode, and it might have been
4:59
contingent on like how long she was in the episode Oh wow, which was
5:01
a huge downgrade to what she was getting before that. So I'm wondering if
5:05
TLC is kind of structuring Cody and Robbin's pay based on whether they're in an
5:11
episode and or how much time they spend in an episode Oh wow. It's
5:15
probably the first because they're not spending a ton of time in the episode,
5:18
but maybe they don't need to. Yeah, maybe they just need enough so
5:21
that way they get their paycheck and they're okay. But I wonder how much
5:25
they're actually getting paid for just a small snippet in Christine's wedding special. And
5:30
also, I mean they have to like appear in it because they're being dramatic,
5:34
Like maybe TLC was hoping that they would be a little bit more like
5:40
crazy instead of Cody being like, yeah, no, I support them,
5:43
I'm happy for them, right, we know that's a lie. Yeah,
5:46
And it's obvious Robin's concerned about what he's gonna say because she's always looking to
5:53
pounce and cut him off from saying something stupid, which is what he's always
5:56
doing, which is pretty funny. But I think it's really interesting. I
5:59
mean, if this is true, and you never know, it's the son
6:01
who knows. But if it is true, then they are concerned about their
6:04
coins. They're getting their McMansion renovated, yep, for maybe downsizing or moving
6:11
or something like that. And I was reading on Reddit that somebody said they
6:16
think that the Browns as an entire family got about twenty five thousand dollars an
6:24
episode. Wow. Yeah, that's quite a lot. But I'm wondering how
6:27
they're divving it up between all Right, Well, back in the day it
6:30
all just went into the family LC and then Cody divvied it up. But
6:33
now with three of the OG's gone, it's just Robin and Cody getting two
6:38
fifths of what they used to get. Can that maintain their mortgage? And
6:43
then Mason, well, I don't know they paid down a lot of it
6:46
because they took money from Janelle and Mary to put into the house. True,
6:49
but they have all that land though they have to pay off to that
6:54
they're paying loans on. Yeah, and the cars and all the guns and
6:58
all their bullshit and the Dickenzie and village. Like, yes, they've been
7:00
spending them coins, I don't think they've been saving them so what is like
7:05
a quarter of twenty five thousand? I don't know, what is a quarter
7:10
of twenty it's five. So what if there's a world where Cody and Robin
7:14
are only bringing in like five to ten thousand dollars an episode, Girl paid
7:23
pre tax, bitch pretax. Oh my god, they're going broken. They're
7:26
gonna have to sell their house. I don't know. I think they're gonna
7:29
have to sell them. Maybe they have a lot of investments again, the
7:30
paintings and all of the other things. What's in the boxes in the basement,
7:34
Robin, what's in the box? Dickenzie village figurines? Who knows what
7:39
they have? But it is an interesting it's an interesting idea, very interesting.
7:44
I like the idea of him trying to say, like it's his show,
7:46
it's not your show anymore. Yeah, everybody cared about the wives,
7:49
right, They literally don't care about you, especially after these last couple seasons,
7:54
like we hate you, we hate you so much, so don't sit
7:57
there and say your show. It's also like kind of famous last words sounding,
8:03
And I know that we had like some OG's in the Real Housewives franchises,
8:07
like Vicky gun Wilson and even Nini Leaks and some of these heavy hitters
8:09
who thought they were the show, only to be toppled and the show must
8:13
go on and they're gone and we don't need them anymore. And I'm just
8:18
like, is there a world do you think where we don't need Cody and
8:20
Robin? I mean, like we said last episode, I feel like we
8:22
kind of need them in some aspect. We need the drama we need,
8:26
like the ridiculousness. We don't need their fake storylines with their weird kids going
8:31
to Claire's to get their ears pierced. No nobody cares me, please,
8:37
But if you're gonna be crazy and add some drama to the show and some
8:41
entertainment, then yeah, I guess we need you. Well, one thing
8:45
I noticed in Cody's interviews on the couch with his very heavily gelled hair,
8:50
like he's sporting a new curly girl method or something. But I'm just like,
8:52
oh God, just ja. Yeah, did you see the pictures on
8:56
Reddit from somebody at a mall who was able to get a shot of Cody
9:01
from above and like the three sections of very serious balding that we have going
9:07
on in his head. It's really bad. Just shave your head, dude,
9:11
It's okay. I'm just like, this is a bad look. I
9:15
know, must be so embarrassed. Is I saying right before that, I
9:18
don't know his badly jilled hair? Oh yeah, No, I was noticing
9:22
when he's on the couch with his very badly jelled hair, which he's like
9:26
pinning up the two like curled tendrils. He's pinning them up. Now,
9:28
I'm like, he seems lighter, he seems happier. Yeah, he seems
9:35
a little bit more gracious in sending well wishes to Christine on her wedding day.
9:39
So I don't know what he's going to bring to season nineteen. I
9:45
don't know, like if you're gonna flip the script and be like, oh
9:48
yeah, I'm very happy for them. It's a weird change from these last
9:52
couple of seasons, unless you're going to acknowledge your behavior, unless you're gonna
9:56
be like, look, I was a piece of shit in season seventeen through
9:58
eighteen. I was a jerk. I was high on testosterone, and I
10:03
was like, android's deep in the QAnon stuff and the red pill shit,
10:09
and like now I'm a changed man. Like I could see a character arc
10:13
like that, but I don't think he's going to actually have one like that.
10:18
I think he's deeply bitter. He's just putting on a facade because Robin's
10:20
telling him to. Yeah, that's what I think. It would be like
10:24
an even worse look if you were just still bringing out the hater raid for
10:30
Christine on her wedding day, you would look like an absolute animal. But
10:33
you are an animal, and we know you're an animal. You can't hide
10:35
that from Well. Very interesting that he thinks it's his show, and also
10:41
that he needs that because he's to hear It makes me happy to hear that,
10:50
because now you understand, like what you had in all of these wives
10:54
and in your situation, that you did not take care of that only you
10:58
could have really taken care of And now it's gone. And what are you
11:01
going to do with your syphilitic prairie dog property and your very dour and unhappy
11:09
wife and all of her dour and unhappy children. Huh all living at Oh
11:11
by the way, in that mcmasiin That's fallen apart? Uh Huh. I
11:16
love nineteen, I'm into it. Yeah, season nine. I want to
11:20
see the coins I want to see the financial demise of Cody Brown and Robin
11:24
Brown. Yes, that's where the story is at all Right, let's get
11:28
into season eighteen, episode twenty, Christine and David, Part two. And
11:33
I noticed when I went on my Discovery Plus, I had that the entire
11:39
thumbnail for Sister Wives was Christine and David. And I had to put myself
11:43
in Cody's shoes and think, oh my god. When he clicked on Discovery
11:48
Plus, because you know he did to watch it as well. He saw
11:50
Christine's face and David's face instead of his own, and so then I'm like,
11:56
oh, well, maybe this is just a thumbnail for like the two
11:58
specials I clicked on it. Bitch, it was all eighteen seasons of Sister
12:01
Wives, Christina, David's favor. It's glorious. I love I love to
12:07
see it. All right, So some thoughts and or takeaways, your feelings,
12:13
your vibe, bye Jack bye on this episode. Well, I'm bored.
12:18
This episode was very boring. Like, look, I'm very happy for
12:22
Christina and David. Their wedding was beautiful, the venue was gorgeous. They
12:26
look very happy and in lerve and horny, and that's great. But I'm
12:31
bored. That was my whole vibe on it, like I'm just bored,
12:35
all right. You know, well I'm gonna need you to dig deep.
12:37
Yeah, okay, because we're here, this is will raccoons. What I
12:39
will for the raccoons. Okay, good? Yeah, because it is your
12:43
job. I know, I'm a professional. We're here to talk about this
12:46
shit. But I get it. But here's the thing. For me,
12:48
I'm such a sentimental person. God, were you crying? I was crying
12:52
through the whole thing, Like when Aspen gave her a speech, and then
12:56
Katie, that girl gave her speech. We have questions about that, but
13:01
like every single oh my god, with Rex walking up, hunched over,
13:05
with Payden and everything, even though he's a problematic person, I was crying.
13:11
Was there a show on TLC, like way back in the early aughts
13:15
of just like women giving birth? Yeah, like a baby story or something?
13:18
Every time I didn't have to know these people, I just had to
13:22
see the birth and I would cry. Well, that's very sweet of you,
13:26
weddings, sweetheart babies. I will cry every single time I had sentimental
13:31
feelings, I have to admit it, but they were quickly dashed. By
13:37
the overt and fucking egregious public displays of affection by specifically Christine Brown. Oh
13:46
my god, was so all over David in various scenes that I felt like
13:52
David was uncomfortable. Yeah, you could feel everybody being uncomfortable at that wedding.
13:56
It was a lot, it was. I mean, when she stepped
14:00
into him and they kissed for their vows, I thought, that is so
14:03
sweet. I don't need to see you open your mouth and stick your tongue
14:07
out, but I get it. You're getting married, We understand. And
14:09
she's horny as fuck, like that's why she's been getting piped the entire time.
14:13
They're already living with each other at the time of this weddings. No,
14:18
right, she's not that they're still in the honeymoon phase. They haven't
14:20
even been together for a full ass year. My theory is she was so
14:26
deeply and profoundly rejected by Cody Jerry Curl Brown that she is going out of
14:33
her way to appear like a seductress, appear like she's very attracted to David
14:43
and he's very attracted to her. Like she's pushing that part of herself out
14:48
because she's really never had that before, which Janelle kind of expresses a little
14:52
bit too, but it was just for me. It was too much,
14:54
like when we got to the cake part and I'm like, I can't.
15:00
Okay, we're gonna put the cake in his mouth, but then you're gonna
15:01
kiss him with the cake and his mouth with your tongue and stuff. I
15:03
don't want to see that normally want to see you grinding up on the sixty
15:07
year old man everybody watching, it's very uncomfortable. I would understand if you
15:13
were twenty four, twenty five, right, sure, I guess I'm not
15:16
trying to be ageist here, but I was just like, I don't know,
15:20
it's to see that. I don't even want to see that for twenty
15:22
somethings. Y're old, uh, I mean, but that's like, you
15:24
know, it's cool like that you're happy and in love and stuff. But
15:30
it was a lot. It was throughout the entire thing, you know,
15:33
and like she she does like these kitten person and the lip biting. I
15:37
can't I count I stop it right now. I mean, it's either authentic
15:46
and this is how she expresses her attraction and love, or it's manufactured to
15:50
some degree. I don't care which it is. I hate it all either
15:54
way. It's cringe did all. Yeah, it's really bad. The other
16:00
and takeaway that I had was I found it interesting when Gabe said that it's
16:03
so nice that the whole family is together. Uh huh, Because of course,
16:08
then I popped out and went out of my body. And then all
16:10
of a sudden, I was robin watching that. What about my Oh,
16:15
my kids not a part of that. We're not there. It's a cheap
16:18
version. Yeah, it's on the real family. I thought, ooh.
16:22
And then when Christine said something like all my thirteen children are protective of me.
16:27
Yeah, very interesting. But when Gabe said that about the whole family
16:33
being there, Gwen's not there. Oh that's true. She was not missed.
16:37
Yeah, no, she would have cared. Go to your chemistry.
16:41
That's right. If that's where you're at. We're fine with that. Whatever.
16:45
So let's get into the episode and we're just gonna do our very best
16:48
because obviously there wasn't a lot here. Yeah, turbo boring, turbo boring,
16:52
But there were some things that I found to be interesting. We start
16:55
this episode with Christine try trying putting on her dress. Her girls are there.
17:00
They ask, I guess Katie or one of David's other daughters to help.
17:04
Well, no, it was Maddie to help zip up the dress.
17:07
And they have that nice moment and Christine looks, I don't like that dress.
17:14
It's it's not it's really it's not fitted. Yeah. I mean it's
17:17
like it's a nice dress, but I'm like, it's so loose up here,
17:19
yeah, and like loose kind of in your waist. I'm like,
17:22
tuck it in a little bit. Yeah, And it's just like you just
17:25
look too broad in the shoulders and too broad in the middle. And you've
17:27
got a great bot and you've got wonderful carves. You're a beautiful woman,
17:30
like does do something like Marilyn Monroe. You're like Mermaidie, let's show that
17:34
shit. Yeah, just kind of like a droopy, matronly kind of a
17:38
wedding dress. Yeah. I didn't realize it was see through on the sides.
17:44
Like I didn't notice that until the actual like when they were doing their
17:47
vows and stuff like, oh, it's see through. So she's like feeling
17:49
herl sixy and stuff. I'm sure she felt herself. I think compare and
17:55
contrast to the Christine she's been as an adult, Like, this is very
18:00
sexy for her, and it's very beautiful for her. And I think her
18:03
hair was lovely. Yeah. I think her makeup was lovely. Yeah.
18:06
I think it was fine. Yeah. I think the color. Again,
18:10
though, I was like gobsmacked a little bit when you're looking around at the
18:12
flower arrangements and all the details. I thought it was a really fabulous wedding
18:18
and oh my god, picturesque with the lake and the mountains and the sun
18:22
was shining and then the sunset lighting when they were taking pictures. It was
18:26
gorgeous. It was totally beautiful. So I mean, like, you know,
18:29
if she's happy, she's happy with her poorly fitted dress. Yes,
18:33
then we've got her walking down the aisle. She's walking down the aisle with
18:37
Peyden, which is the controversial choice if you're gwencause Gwen hates Peyden. Here's
18:42
something interesting about that. So Gwen hates Peyden because Peyden hit her when they
18:47
were kids and bullied her. According to Gwen. I think Peyden has admitted
18:51
that. But then one of the other kids said that it was Gwen and
18:55
Peyden who used to bully the fuck out of Robin's kids. Oh shit,
18:59
really yes, Wow, that's interesting. Yes, And I'm like, well,
19:03
I mean anyway, so maybe that's why Gwen actually didn't attend the wedding
19:08
because Peyden was there and or walking his mom down the aisle. But Peyden
19:12
walks his mom down the aisle until they get to Rex, whose Christine's pops.
19:18
Yeah that was really sweet. Yeah, brys her the rest of the
19:22
way crying. She gives her big she gives him a big hug, and
19:26
she's like, I love you, daddy, Oh God, tear sweet feelings
19:30
in my cold dead raccoon heart. I was like, that's sweet. And
19:33
then they get to the podium or the whatever the what's that called? Huh?
19:40
Same? Is is it a days or like what is that called?
19:44
Stage? Stage? Will go with sage stage, and David is just there,
19:48
just Google Gaga eyed, just stars in his eyes. He's so in
19:52
love with Christine. And then they go through their vows. I'm sweet remember
19:57
them. I don't remember them either, that they love each other. I
20:02
do the I think his son in law is the efficient, the efficient,
20:07
so that's nice. He incorporates something from Isabelle, a story about Christine,
20:12
and then They talk about how David is like a stand up guy who will
20:17
like clear the snow from a single mom's driveway for what though I know we're
20:22
trying to get and also putting in some sort of wheelchair access for a disabled
20:29
neighbor. And he's just a great guy. And these two wonderful souls have
20:33
finally met each other, and now you may kiss your bribe, and then
20:37
Christine proceeds to eat his face and I just can't well before that, truly
20:42
came up and gave the rings or whatever and gave David a hug, and
20:45
she was wearing a purple jumpsuit. I loved it, but that was so
20:48
cute. I'm like, this is a whole ass teenager. It's just yesterday
20:52
she was being birthed from Christine's lie and we were all watching and she's like
20:56
walking, she's ambulatory, and I'm like, oh my god, you're practically
21:00
an adults. I know, it's very gazing. She said something nice to
21:06
her mom. Yeah, She's like, I love you. He's deserve everything.
21:10
Yeah, and said something to David like it's you promised or I didn't
21:15
know what she was really talking about. I don't know with David, but
21:18
I thought that it was sweet. And then we cut to flag stuff because
21:22
we have to have Cody and Robin wing in from Arizona as to how they
21:26
feel about Christine's nuptials. Why why do we have to have him there because
21:32
they were expecting him to say something crazy and paycheck Yeah, needs a paycheck,
21:36
yeah, even though he's cutting wood to sell. Probably probably because they're
21:40
broke. Yeah, And there was another Reddit post about that, wasn't there,
21:42
Like how is he's like stripping trees, he's cutting down trees? Is
21:48
he selling that stuff? Yeah? Probably because they need to make money,
21:51
my god, just trying to cobble together a stream of income because it's all
21:55
going away. So fair. So he says he wishes them well, but
22:00
then he starts to qualify it because he wants to say something narcissistic and aggressive
22:03
and abusive. And then Robin takes off her fucking gloves and she says,
22:07
kiss me babe, and it cuts and then waves the producers away. Yes,
22:11
very interesting from Robin because like we've thought about Robin as like this puppet
22:17
master or whatever, so like she's obviously concerned about their image collectively, and
22:22
like she knows how Cody has come off the last couple seasons. I'm sure
22:26
she's up on the internets, even though she's not active on social media.
22:29
She's looking at everything. Well, she changed her eyebrows, didn't she.
22:32
So that's evidence that she's listening to something exactly. So she's just telling Cody
22:36
to shut the fuck up, which I think is really interesting. Oh,
22:38
now we move on to the picture portion of the episode. I found michelthe
22:45
to be sufferable, annoying. Oh my screaming, calm down. I know
22:53
this is a blessed, sacred moment for your mom, Like, shut the
22:57
fuck up. Uh. She's so annoying and so loud. Her and Tony
23:03
both, I'm just like, get off my television. They're just constantly vying
23:07
for the center of attention. And she strikes me as one of those people
23:11
who doesn't have the ability to see herself from a third person vantage point,
23:18
like she can't take social cues. Like when she walked in I think it
23:21
was last week, into the Airbnb and immediately starts yelling you can kind of
23:26
see David. He turns around and his eyes get really wide, like he's
23:29
like Jesus Christ. Christine's one, but this bitch too. Yeah, it's
23:33
just like, ugh, she's too much just like her mom though, Yeah,
23:36
I writ very much. So. So they take all of these pictures,
23:40
and I did see Leon and Audrey, and I saw Logan and his
23:44
wife, and it was really nice to see them all together. I love
23:48
that they were all together taking photos and everybody looked very pretty, very cute.
23:52
I loved everybody's colors, like it was very nice, very nice.
23:55
And then we got Janelle and Christine taking pictures. That was sweet together hugging
24:00
each other and Janelle's getting all weepy, and I'm like, oh my god,
24:03
I love that. And you know, Janelle's kind of uncomfortable because she
24:07
doesn't like physical touch from people, generally speaking, unless it's downstairs and she's
24:11
into it. She just strikes me as a lot like me and yeah,
24:14
don't touch me, don't touch I don't sent to your touch. Yeah,
24:17
but she's hugging on Christine and she's got tears in her eyes and Christine is
24:22
just so happy, and it was really beautiful to see. Yeah, that
24:25
was really wholesome. I want to see more of that, Like I want
24:27
to see more of Janelle and Christine's relationship in season nineteen. Maybe Mary thrown
24:32
in there. Oh, yes, I want to say Mary dating. Yes,
24:34
actually, out of it all, I probably most want to see Mary
24:40
dating because she seems excited to do it. Yes, she has mentioned a
24:44
couple of times in this episode alone. She's like, I'm so happy for
24:47
Christine. We'll get to what that might mean. I'm so happy for Christine,
24:51
and I fully anticipate that I too will meet someone and have my fairy
24:56
tale ending. Bitch, she's she's banging somebody, dude. The second I
25:00
get that Cody motherfucking Brown set on National TV. If Mary wanted to date
25:03
somebody else, she wouldn't get a fight from me. She was already downloading
25:07
the tinders and the OKAYCUPI is she was already downloading that. She's like,
25:11
cool, I got permission now, Yeah, I don't have to hide and
25:15
find a catfish, right. I can hook up with the other people and
25:21
it's totally on the up and up, and I can just live my best
25:23
life. And I want that so much for her, Like I would be
25:26
deeply invested in these women going out, not Christine, but these Janelle and
25:32
Mary going out, and like seeing what the next chapter of their life is
25:36
like, if you can make it a little spicy, yeah, And if
25:37
you can stop fucking lying all the time for real, always lying, why
25:42
the fucking lie? Always lie well? And like, I don't want to
25:47
see pr campaigns for you guys, and like your businesses and stuff. I
25:49
just want to see your lives. I want to see you being happy.
25:52
Like I would be fine watching Janelle, even though she's not interested in dating,
25:56
even if it's shit like her gardening or whatever. If she's like talking
26:00
about the family or talking about the finances, like that would be entertaining to
26:03
me. Somebody on Reddit posted Janelle's website, which I think is Thrive with
26:10
Janelle dot Com. I could be mistaken, and in which in her bio
26:15
on her website she says she's the mother of two kids, like as probably
26:19
something that was copied and pasted and something like that. But she starting,
26:23
I think in twenty seventeen, became a life coach. What Yeah, and
26:30
for a small hourly fee, I'm sure you could get life advice from Janelle,
26:34
who ended up at the age of fifty or fifty two being dumped by
26:38
her husband and having absolutely no resources or finances whatsoever. Well, she's thriving
26:47
though the audacity of these people though, I'm going to be a life coach.
26:49
I'm gonna be Mary Brown with my hashtag worthy up. I'm going to
26:52
teach you how to live your life. Or Olivia motherfucking Plath for reather Instagram
26:56
inspo. These people are too much. Oh yeah, online is too much
27:00
nowadays. Like I'm starting a fitness journey myself this year because it's my goal,
27:06
it's my personal goal. But I've been looking stuff up online and like
27:11
there's so much bullshit. Like everybody thinks that they're a fitness influencer or like
27:15
a nutritionist on Instagram telling people what to eat and what to do. I'm
27:19
like, shut the fuck up right after. This shit is misinformation. Where
27:22
are your credentials? Well, I watch YouTube videos. I'm a jem bro,
27:26
I'm an aggregator of content from YouTube, and so I'm in an authority
27:30
position. It's ridiculous. Back to the photos after Janelle, we have David
27:36
and Christine taking pictures, and this is where Janelle makes the very a student
27:41
insightful comment that she can see David and Christine on the porch on their rockers
27:49
with their kids and their grandkids. Love the subtle shade. I love that
27:55
she's in me as wow. She said that just for Robin Robins seething with
28:00
daddy. We love to see it though, Oh my god, it was
28:11
great. And she also said I love to see and I'm paraphrasing, I
28:15
love to see the affection between Christine and David the way that he loves her,
28:19
because it heals the wound that Cody inflicted. Is that wound being able
28:26
to straddle your husband in front of a bunch of people. Maybe, I
28:29
mean, you know, look, that's great. Like it is sad that
28:32
Christine was so neglected, like physically emotionally by Cody for so many years.
28:37
So like I'm happy that she's getting it in with David Woolley. I mean,
28:41
hopefully he banks her back out. That's great. Hopefully eats the box
28:45
to be determined. You think he I think he's banging her back out.
28:48
She's gotta be happy. She's making out, seems really into him, She
28:53
seems dickmatized. Girl under the dicknoses sighting her live David so over it.
29:06
Why do I hate people in love? I don't If we don't hate it.
29:08
It's just it can be cringey. I don't need to see it.
29:11
No, I don't like to see people kissing. Yeah, just generally like
29:17
I used to be fine with it. I remember my mother like when she
29:18
was in her forties and fifties, like, fuck, I hate to wash
29:22
that shit ew, And she'd mue it because she doesn't like mouth noisy.
29:23
Your daughter's the same way. I exactly the same as my mom. I'm
29:26
like, I don't need you can suggest it. I would love to infer
29:30
that you guys are happy in that way, but I do want to see
29:32
any of that. That's so funny because I was watching this episode on my
29:34
phone in my bed last night and your daughter was reading, and I was
29:37
like, look at Christine humping David. Look at Christine making out. She's
29:41
like, no, I don't want to see that. She was so grossed.
29:45
I called my husband into the room too, because he was making breakfast
29:48
at two in the afternoon, and I called him into the room and I'm
29:52
just like, look at this, this wanton display of debauchery. First with
29:57
that Jared guy where I'm there, yeah, and then with Christine, and
30:02
she looked it looked awkward. Like she felt like she had to compete with
30:04
Jared. I don't know why. Let's just let's table that until we get
30:08
let's get there all right. After pictures, we get to the reception and
30:15
the dinner, Michealty says some nice things to Christine about how she's so happy
30:21
for her because she wants that camera time. We see Hunter, though,
30:25
come to their table, and he seems really happy for Christine. Yeah,
30:30
he's very like beaming, He's super happy. I guess his girlfriend was there
30:33
too, which I wish we would have gotten to see me too. But
30:36
he then he made like some funny joke. He's like, but I'm not
30:37
going to call you dad, which I thought it was really cute. I
30:41
did as well. And David's like awkward, which I think is great.
30:45
David seems super chill and not invested in how people label him or identify him.
30:49
He's just like, I'm here to love this woman, like you all
30:52
do you yep, which I respect. Then we have Aspen giving a toast,
30:57
which was very sweet, and then Kelty heckles her from the back of
31:02
the room as soon as she gets behind the mic, and then Aspen gives
31:06
her some sass. Yeah. She's like, well, whatever, that's why
31:10
I'm the one who's speaking and not you, bitch. Wow, Bige,
31:15
they got some sibling rivalry going, I want, said babe. And then
31:22
after Aspen was sassy, Tony yells from the back of the room like stand
31:26
down, Michuelty or something stupid like that. I'm like, god, guys,
31:30
calm down. Not every minute has to be about you. Of course
31:33
it does. It's me Kelty and Tony keel totally. So now after this
31:38
is what we need to talk about next, yes, girl. So then
31:41
Katie, who is David's eldest daughter, and they must have got their mom's
31:47
jeans. All those kids look a certain way. I don't look like David
31:49
at all. No, not at all. But anyway, she's pretty lovely.
31:52
She stands up, she gives a toast in which she says, what
31:55
y'all don't realize is that I'm the one who manifested this because I heard that
32:01
Christine Brown was a single woman. I went into my husband's office. I
32:07
told him, and he's like, well, what does that mean. She's
32:08
like, I think she'd be great for my dad, and then they kind
32:13
of skip around fast forward without articulating the next steps, and then she's like
32:20
encouraging David to create a profile because she wants to set him up with Christine
32:25
because she thinks they'd be perfect together. Okay, that seems sus. That
32:30
seems sus. It seems like you guys wanted your dad to marry her for
32:35
fame and money. It seems a little weird. Cloudy yeah, cloud Goblin
32:39
totally about Gargoyle, Like, are we gonna seem more of them on season
32:44
nineteen? I think we are? Why And if that's the case, first
32:47
of all, whatever her intentions were, I feel like David is going to
32:52
do what he wants to do. And it sounds like he didn't make the
32:54
profile for a while because he didn't want to be bothered with it. He
32:58
ultimately did and Christine reached out to him. I'm just like, there's something
33:02
there that they're not saying. It kind of feels like Christine was talking to
33:07
him before she fully left Cody, because Cody made comments in season eighteen like,
33:14
you know, oh, Cody, Christine just wants to leave me for
33:16
another man. She's going to move to Utah and immediately date somebody else.
33:20
Kind of feels like a little bit maybe things were rumbling around. I don't
33:23
know, because Christine's like, I dated before I met David, and I'm
33:29
like, I don't know if you did. I think you went on like
33:30
two dates and then you met David and you were like, he's the love
33:35
of my life and then married him. Do you know what I wanted?
33:37
What my theory is. My theory is that Christine was catfished by his daughter,
33:45
that his daughter was talking through David's profile for a while while she was
33:52
trying to get her father on board and talking to Christine to arrange the situation.
33:58
And again the intentions as to why she me or may not have done
34:00
that, which I cannot verify that she did, but if she did,
34:04
like that's weird, and maybe she was trying to move the arrangement along.
34:08
Oh my god, do you think Christine sent a banana picture? Are there
34:15
any questions we might be able to hear to verify the dyes of these claims?
34:23
Oh? Maya god. That would make a lot of sense too,
34:28
because if David wasn't like keen on making a profile and he was like single
34:31
for a while, being a bachelor, He's like, I don't want to
34:34
deal with dating anymore. I'm over it. That would make a lot of
34:37
sense if his daughter was like, hey, Dad, by the way,
34:39
I've been talking to Christine Brown on your behalf and now she's in love with
34:43
you, so maybe you should go and wonder she's so aggressive that you call
34:46
her a stalker. No, wonder, She's like, well, when can
34:49
we get together? Well, maybe she's been talking to your daughter the entire
34:52
time. Oh my god, Yes, that's crazy. Yes, that's my
34:55
thought, my theory, and I'm sharing it with you. Wo. Next
35:00
we get to Evelyn and Annie, the mothers, giving their toasts. Oh,
35:04
yeah, which I was bored with. But I mean there's something about
35:07
Annie that I really feel very sentimental about. Yeah, and she called Christina
35:13
warrior and somebody to be reckoned with, and I was like, ooh,
35:16
I like how that sounds that mother loves and believes in Christine, which I
35:22
think is really beautiful. Totally agreed, all right. Then we get into
35:28
the first dance Yeah, with David and had to take dance lessons and I
35:34
don't think your money was well spent. Slow dance what is there's no I
35:39
mean, all he's doing is going back and forth and spin and back and
35:45
forth and spin but okay, and he's grabbing her ass sometimes too. Did
35:49
you notice that? Yes, he's grabbing her ass a lot. Good and
35:52
he's like, all I have to do is look at you. He was
35:54
nervous because he sounds like he doesn't like to dance like my husband. Like
36:00
I asked him, I'm like, have you ever been on a dance floor?
36:01
He's like, fuck, no ever, Why would I ever be on
36:05
a dance floor? Like you never went to the club. It's like I
36:07
would go to the club, but I would sit at the bar and just
36:10
watch being one of those broody ones. Yeah, totally, the rumpy main
36:16
male character at the bar watching me dance. Wow. But he's never ever
36:23
ever danced really, not even like slow down now and he's like, and
36:28
I never fucking will wow. Okay, you gave me your boundary. But
36:30
it just strikes me as David might be kind of similar. Just never danced.
36:35
Yeah, so never done anything crazy like that dance in front of other
36:37
people and it's weird. Yeah, we have uh Cody talking about the Brown
36:45
Family mash pit. Yeah, how he's missing that he feels a little left
36:50
out because the Brown Family mash pit is the best right, which was kind
36:52
of sweet because I'm like, yeah, I do have this big family that
36:55
you created and look at you destroyed it, right, But they're still together?
37:00
How you and your dour wife and your dour children. Then there's a
37:05
flash mob kind of like doing weird arm dances. Like Christine's like that was
37:13
magical. It's like, okay, the light sticks. I mean, okay,
37:19
we love it. That's fine. Whatever. Then we get to the
37:22
cake cutting and the making out and Michelti saying saves them for tonight, and
37:28
Christine's like, don't worry, we will, Like why do you have to
37:36
make comments like that with your adult children around, honey? It's gross.
37:40
I don't know. David's sister catches the bouquet, which is sweet. Gabe
37:47
says that this feels like an old fashioned brown event, like we're all here,
37:53
we're all having a party. It feels like old times. And I
37:57
just what is his astrological sign? Do you remember? Taurus? I think
38:00
is sheels like a little bit of a cancer, like he seems are a
38:05
Pisces or something. He just has feels maybe it's his moonsign and they run
38:08
so deep, and I just he was He was very careful to also say
38:13
like no disrespect to my dad, which is very sweet, right, but
38:17
this is like everything I needed to be right now because I'm a broken person
38:21
and my father is the one who inflicted the would I feel bad for Gabe.
38:25
And then we have Jared, who I think might be David's former gay
38:32
lovers. Everything is a gay conspiracy with you. Everything has to turn into
38:37
an ultimate gay fantasy with you. Look, but they have weird vibes though,
38:42
I kind of I kind of wonder because the way Jared came prancing out
38:50
and how he ran his hands down David's chest and then he came around and
38:54
he started gyrating. First of all, David looked very uncomfortable to me,
39:00
very uncomfortable. And I'm wondering, are you uncomfortable because I'm a boomer heterosexual
39:06
and I'm not into this, or are you uncomfortable because you're being outed on
39:09
the world stage. I was like, it's kind of weird to have your
39:14
guy best friend like do a live dance for you kind of thing. Yeah,
39:17
but maybe it's a joke. Maybe they're just two straight bros joking around,
39:22
and everybody in the crowd, including to now they're like, oh,
39:24
that's weird. I mean that's great though, I mean, if that's what
39:29
you like, but it's weird. It had a weird vibe to it.
39:31
It did have a strange vibe to it. Okay vibe. I mean,
39:36
that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that advice. But I just feel like,
39:39
first of all, if that were my husband and one of his friends
39:44
from his hometown came up in a male that would not that would be very
39:47
awkward. Yeah, strange. I mean, would any of your husband's friends
39:52
do that? Though? Like, no, no, no, and it's
39:55
not and I'm not trying to be critical at all, it just it seemed
39:59
really like a non sequitor, uh huh, and not necessarily appropriate. And
40:04
I was watching Christine in the background. She was trying to like smile,
40:07
like isn't this great, but like something she felt looked like she was uncomfortable.
40:12
She looked a little uncomfortable and maybe a little jealous because then she said,
40:15
oh, what's his phace? Jared motioned me to come and do the
40:19
lap dance for you. That wasn't planned hah hah. But then the footage
40:22
doesn't show that she tagged herself and she's like my turn, yep, leave
40:27
please, that's my husband actually, And I don't think she was going to
40:30
plan a lap dance. No, I don't think it was on the agenda
40:34
or the identerary. But like, I guess I'm gonna have to compete with
40:36
this weird guy Jared. So she gives sort of a haphazard straddling up and
40:43
down a little. There was a little up and down and I'm like,
40:45
are you getting up to leave? Please? Beginning to leave? I'm like,
40:49
please, are you wearing any anything under your dress? Like, I
40:52
don't know, man, I was really cringed, engrossed out by that.
40:55
Are your lady parts touching his boy parts? What's happening on the stake?
41:04
Gross? All right, Next we have Christine explaining to David on the couch
41:09
that her marriage to Cody I think she means wedding, but her marriage to
41:15
Cody was very quiet. Yeah, and when you are a polygamous wife,
41:20
like you're not the first legal wife, you're an additional wife, Like you've
41:22
got to be quiet about it. Yeah. And so David then says,
41:27
well, we're going to be loud, We're going to be fun. This
41:30
is a big party with me it's going to be different, which I think
41:32
is sweet. It's him just being like, look, you're my queen,
41:36
You're my unicorn is he puts it, and like, so, let's just
41:38
do everything that you didn't get to do that you wanted to do for your
41:43
wedding. Yeah. So I think that's sweet. Like he supports her.
41:45
It seems like he does love her. Yes, so I think, so
41:49
that's good and he's attracted to her, Yes, I think so. Yeah,
41:52
I think so I help her, I hope. So. Actually,
41:54
then we see Hunter and Maddie and Caleb did he I don't know Caleb group
42:00
Maddy. He's kind of old time I see him, he's he's kind of
42:05
old. So how old is Mattie right now? Do you think she's probably
42:07
twenty five twenty seven, No, she's older than that. She's probably like
42:12
thirty something, early thirties. Yeah. I think she's like thirty three turned
42:15
thirty or something. She's younger than Logan, right, I thought she's older.
42:20
I don't know. She's younger than Logan for sure. I think,
42:22
Okay, she's thirty and under. I think maybe twenty nine. So and
42:25
Caleb at the time that they were secretly talking when she was fifteen. I
42:29
think, uh huh, was like twenty seven or something, so he's almost
42:32
forty, uh huh. But he seems sweet. Yeah, he seems like
42:36
he means, well, they're in love, are they? Yeah? I
42:38
don't know. Every time I see him, I'm like, did you did
42:40
you? Groomer? I know. So they're there and they're talking about Christine.
42:45
We have a hunter just saying that Christine has received her fairytale wedding and
42:50
yeah, you know, we're having fun obviously, but it's really awesome that
42:53
she's having such a beautiful time, which Mattie also says. Yeah, it's
42:58
very sweet. I liked Maddie being there with all the other kids. Maddie
43:00
looks really beautiful. Yeah, I think she looks really great. It's good
43:05
to see her because we haven't seen much of her in the last several seasons.
43:08
So I want more of the adult kids speaking. I want more of
43:13
them talking about their family and their dad or suing their family for exploitation and
43:19
child labor. Yes, yeah, that would be awesome as well. Then
43:22
we have Christine and David exiting the reception under the light sticks. They look
43:31
super happy. They're clearly going to bang and have a great night bang hard.
43:37
We see David on the couch saying that he was single for too many
43:45
years and he's just so happy to be with this awesome woman, and Christine
43:50
saying, well, I was sharing for too many years and I'm so happy
43:52
to be with you, and then they both say that they are very lucky.
43:57
The end, the end, it's a happy ending. It is.
44:00
It is very sweet. I will say watching these two specials, I was
44:06
kind of bummed that we didn't get to see like the lead up to their
44:08
relationship and like season nineteen, it would have been cool to see Christine being
44:14
single for a little bit and dating and experimenting and like living her single best
44:19
life and then meeting David and then get to see like the lead up and
44:22
then have like season nineteen's finale be their wedding. Yeah, I would have
44:28
liked to see that as opposed to like just a two part special because now
44:30
it's like all done. I was talking with Ethel about it today, I'm
44:34
like it felt a little bit rushed, and she was like, well,
44:37
maybe the plan was season nineteen to be like the single ladies and them dating
44:42
and then the finale be her wedding. But maybe Christine called up TLC and
44:45
was like, we're in love, We're getting married, and Tilsey was like,
44:50
well, fuck, let's do a special. Then I guess I found
44:52
my king. I actually think it's potentially because TLC is listening to the criticism
44:58
of how this whole fucking oh is always two years behind, and we know
45:01
Christine's gonna get married, and so why are you going to put us through
45:05
season nineteen with seeing them meet each other and all of that and then a
45:08
wedding that we already saw in people dot Com. True, it makes no
45:12
sense, like get your fucking shit together, production company. True, But
45:15
maybe that wasn't it. I don't know. I don't know if season nineteen
45:20
is her dating are we going to be watching the dating story? That would
45:22
be so as backwards as it would be so fucking lame, like just do
45:27
it current day please, And I want to see Mary Dayton, I want
45:30
to do Janelle do whatever she wants to do. May I remind you raccoons
45:36
that we put up a picture several episodes ago some surreptitious raccoon out in some
45:40
restaurant taking a picture of Mary Brown and some pretty good looking gentleman out for
45:46
lunch or something. And may I also remind you that in the talkback,
45:50
look back whatever, she was talking pretty pretty confidently about dating and maybe he's
45:57
tall and maybe he's a pilot, And I'm like, does that mean you're
45:59
already dating a tall pilot? Please? That is a story I would love
46:04
to hear. I hope he's handsome. I hope he's got a big old
46:07
dick. Yes. I hope she's second on his banana and just living her
46:10
best life. I just I just don't want to see it. Please.
46:15
I don't want to see you guys making out or dry humping. Yeah.
46:17
Please, we don't need to see that, right. I do want to
46:20
see the Mary sus Cody era and the Janelle Sue's Cody era. We know
46:24
Christine's not going to she's moved on. She's got what she got and she's
46:27
fine with it. But those two ladies, it is outstanding. You are
46:30
owed money and or property. Yeah, you love to see that as well.
46:35
That would be so fantastic. We keep putting in our universal order,
46:38
hoping that the universe will pay us best and give us what we want.
46:44
Yeah, that'd be great. We'll needless to say, when season nineteen comes
46:47
out, which I don't know when that's going to be. I don't know
46:50
if anybody has heard about Wow, it's going to be. I happen to
46:53
think because this was such a rousing success, even though production was fucking terrible,
47:00
there were so many people watching, I happen to think that they'll probably
47:02
bring it back sooner. I hope maybe by late spring summer. That'd be
47:07
great. Early summer would be fantastic. My birthday for your birthday, Happy
47:12
birthday, Beatrice. And until then, we want to remind you. Starting
47:16
next week, we are going to be diving into Sister Wives rewinds. We
47:21
are picking up where we left off, which is in season four. And
47:24
by the way, if you want to hear seasons one, two, and
47:28
three, those are all available not just on Patreon, but on our general
47:31
podcast feeds. So just wherever you listen to podcasts, look us up and
47:36
you can scroll back and you'll find them. Yeah, you will. We've
47:38
been talking about these assholes for quite some time. We have, and we
47:43
are going to continue to do so. And anytime we cover the Sister Wives,
47:45
if there's also some gossip or news, we will be covering that as
47:50
well. Yes, all for you raccoons, that's right, and up on
47:54
the docket, up next for everybody. We are going to have ninety Day
47:59
Fiance, which is coming to a conclusion. We're going to be starting vander
48:02
Pump Rules, and we're always open to new shows if they look really exciting.
48:07
Yea, what was that show, the Lifetime one you'd sent me.
48:09
It's like something about international couples being together. It was like Love after lock
48:16
Up but international, but like match me a broad type stuff. It's like
48:21
a mix of all these like ninety day Fiance stuff. I'm curious, want
48:24
to watch that. I want to watch that as well. Maybe we should
48:28
cover it on Patreon. Maybe we should. And it's like the first season
48:30
of any of these shows, they're always the best, So we're always thinking
48:36
and we always want to talk about the most trashiest reality shows of all.
48:40
Well, having said all that, Beatrice, is there anything else that we
48:44
need to say to these beautiful raccoon Well, if you love our podcast,
48:47
I sure hope that you go on to your favorite podcast platform and give us
48:51
a glowing five star review. Really helps us grow the pod. Thank you
48:53
so much, and until next time, which will be later this week.
48:57
Never forget that we have nothing but love for you and see Oh bye,
49:02
my guya. Mm hmm