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041: The Missing Wellness Prescription: We Aren't Talking About Nearly Enough · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Frederica Davis, your host, wellness professional, coach, speaker, and creator of the Limitless Reset Method.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is what we call Whole Woman Reset Thursday, where every Thursday we talk about what really is necessary for you to create lasting wellness.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not just physically, it's also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and in the ways that we live our lives.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because true wellness isn't about fixing yourself, it's about reconnecting with yourself.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're talking about something that may be one of the most overlooked wellness tools and most under talked about wellness tools that's available to us.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's connection.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the eight pillars for a reason in my limitless reset method.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: It is that important.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just about another supplement for your wellness, it's not about diet or another morning routine.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Connection, the kind that reminds you who you are.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: So what if one of the most powerful things that you could do for your health was not another wellness habit?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: What if it was simply spending more time with people who make you feel safe, seen, valued, and fully yourself?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because here is the truth: loneliness is not just emotional.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it's rampant nowadays.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Even when you are surrounded by people, it's often something so many of us experience.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's physical.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Loneliness creates a physical reaction.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's mental, it's spiritual.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And the medicine for that, the prescription for that, is connection.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just nice to have, connection is necessary.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the thing: we were never designed to do life alone.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not saying we don't need alone time, and I'm not saying it's not valuable to be able to be alone.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what I'm saying.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, many of us became convinced that strength means independence and being alone and doing life alone and handling things ourselves and figuring things out all by ourselves, pushing through, keep going, you know, is that mindset.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Don't burden anyone.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not actually how human beings were designed.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: We were wired for connection.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to go back into the biblical teachings, we were wired for connection.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Regardless of your belief systems, if you stop and you think about this, you can see this pretty clearly.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Our nervous systems literally respond to the presence of safe people.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: We were simply wired for connection.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Our bodies, our nervous systems will respond and then our bodies will calm.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Our stress hormones decrease, our moods improve.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: These are all documented.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is all provable.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Our sense of belonging actually increases.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: So when we don't have those connections, our bodies really notice, and our minds notice, and our spirits will notice.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a lot of science behind this.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, research consistently shows that meaningful relationships are associated with lower rates of depression, lower anxiety levels, better emotional resilience, improved immune function, lower stress hormones, better cardiovascular health, increased longevity, greater life satisfaction.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Think about those things.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: That means a healthier, happier, longer life by simply being connected.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now, some studies have even suggested that chronic loneliness can have health effects that are comparable to other major health risks.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Social connection has repeatedly been linked to better overall health outcomes and longer life expectancy, as well as better healing.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have surgery and you're gonna recuperate all by yourself.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Chances are your healing may become impaired because connection actually increases our body's ability.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, in other words, connection is not a luxury, it's part of wellness.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been talking about this a little bit.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: A few weeks ago, I spent time in Costa Rica with an incredible group of women.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was there as one of the facilitators at a retreat.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: What surprised me was how much I received from the experience myself.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was there to give.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I wanted to receive when I was not in that moment of facilitating and giving.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: However, as a facilitator, I was still paying attention after sessions or in between sessions as to who needed what.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And while I was there, I was consciously also making an effort to receive.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is not something we as women do very easily.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And there were workshops.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I took the workshops.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I was learning.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: There was personal growth for sure.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: But what really stood out the most wasn't any of that.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was the connection.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think I talked about it in another podcast.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: The women, we gelled, we connected quickly, and it stayed that way.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it was incredible.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was the conversations, the laughter, the tears, the stories that came out of all the sessions and out of all the connection in between the sessions.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it was those moments where the women felt safe enough to be real.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you had a conversation with someone, anyone, that was real, that was really honest, authentic, without an agenda, and it was just real.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: There is something so incredibly powerful that happens when we feel safe enough to be real, number one.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when people stop performing and we start connecting at a deeper level.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when the masks come off and the walls come down, and when someone says, Me too, the energy in those moments is difficult to really describe unless you've experienced it.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: But it is nothing short of healing, validating, and grounding.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: And many of those friendships from that time we all spent together are continuing already, and I predict they will for years to come.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And recently, as I'm I'm thinking about all of this, I had also a day last week where I just had one of those days that can come out of being a leader, a business owner.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's the kind of day that so many of us don't often talk about, where we have to make hard decisions, have uncomfortable conversations, feel the weight of the responsibility of that, the kind of day that leaves you pretty much emotionally exhausted.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm being honest, I didn't really feel like going anywhere afterward.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to stay home.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to just kind of go inward, recharge alone.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: But what I had committed to already was celebrating a friend's birthday.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I went.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: I rallied and I went.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what happened: it reminded me again, just like the retreat did.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: It reminded me again why connection matters.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: I spent time with amazing women laughing and singing.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: It was karaoke night, and we were celebrating a birthday for one of the women.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And these are women who I know we all, in spite of our differences and whatever's going on in our lives, we support one another.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: These are women who would show up for me if I needed them and I would show up for them in return.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of the evening, I felt different.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not because my circumstances from the day had changed or any of that.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Everything from what I had gone through in the weeks leading up to that day, making an ultimate final decision and carrying that weight of that decision during that day, that was all still there.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: However, I felt different because my circumstances had changed.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: It was because I went out, I connected, and I no longer felt like I was carrying that weight alone anymore.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is the power of connection.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, connection is a form of regulation.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: So one thing that I teach often, and it's a common thread through everything that I do, it's just so very important, is nervous system regulation.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system is constantly asking one question of you, of its surroundings.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Am I safe?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: So connection helps to answer that question.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Not every relationship, not every environment, not every conversation for sure is going to answer that, yes, you're safe.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: But when you are with the right people, the people who allow you to be authentic, the people who don't require you to perform, the people who remind you who you are, those relationships can become powerful sources of regulation.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, sometimes healing, it doesn't happen because someone gave you advice.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't happen because you started a new program.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes healing happens because someone sat right beside you and reminded you that you're not alone.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is connection.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now, nature is connection to.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: So the next day after all of this, I spent some time reconnecting in a different way.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it was nature, just with some quiet, with reflection, with space, with a walk, looking at the trees, swaying, feeling the sun, looking at the sky, breathing the fresh air, all of that.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: And nature, that matters too when you're reconnecting with yourself and you're reconnecting with the world around you.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nature serves us so well by oxygenating ourselves, by helping us absorb the earth's energies and so much more.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: That type of a connection isn't about being with other people, but it's still a valuable type of connection.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also about reconnecting with yourself at the same time.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning reconnecting and listening, paying attention, being present in the moment, feeling the sun on your skin, watching the trees move in the wind, remembering that you are part of something larger than just your to-do list.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: The time I spent in connection with other women who I am deeply connected with, and I know I could have the deep real conversations with, along with reconnecting with myself, along with a little of the quiet time, all of that connection equaled restoration for my nervous system, which is all the benefits that I talked about earlier in your body, your mind, your spirit, your soul, all of it.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: So as you listen today, what I want you to ask yourself is who are the people that make me feel most like myself?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's your question.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Who are the people that make me feel most like myself?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself that.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then ask yourself, when was the last time I spent meaningful time with them?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then ask, where in my life am I craving deeper connection?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And what would one small step toward that connection look like this week?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because wellness isn't only found in what you eat.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's part of it.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: But it is found in who you spend your life with.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's found in how you choose to spend your time, what you choose to bring into your world, your mind, your body, your spirit, all of it.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I do want to also address for those of you listening, if you have been thinking this, you're asking this, you know, who do I spend my time with?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me feel most like myself, and you don't have someone in your life, there's nothing wrong with you.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want to say that flat out.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: I have had many moments throughout my life where I was without the right people in my life.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now, families can be complicated, friends can be complicated, relationships, woman to woman, can be complicated, complicated in friendships.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: And finding the right people that actually make you feel safe, actually make you feel like you can beat yourself and they're gonna love you because they think your truest self is awesome.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Even when they disagree, they're going to still be there and still love you, they're out there.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you, they are out there even if you're in a moment where you don't have that.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're in a moment where you don't have that, my encouragement is that you've asked these questions of yourself.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're thinking, okay, well, now I need that.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I want that.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be willing to put yourself out there to some new experience, some new environment to reach out, to find that, quite frankly.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll come back to the retreat.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: The women who came to this retreat, they all came for multiple different reasons, but but one of the common threads that came through loud and clear from each person who took a chance, came to this retreat where they really didn't know anybody, was that they all wanted to go somewhere and develop a deeper connection with themselves.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: They wanted to work through something, but they wanted to connect with other women who were authentic, who were real.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: They wanted to have the deeper conversations.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: So that was an act of choice and a chance they took to do that.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, do you have to do that?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe not.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's just joining a group at your church.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's joining a club, uh, a meetup group online.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's starting your own.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's reaching out to some people that you've been wanting to be friends with, but haven't initiated that with.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe they haven't because they've been busy or whatever and they feel the same.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: It can be a lot of different things.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: The point is that connection is so valuable to our bodies and our minds and our spirits and everything I listed and more.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes we want it so deeply, but we stop short of seeking it and then cultivating it.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: It does take a little effort.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't feel like going out to karaoke night after the day I had.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I rallied.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: And because they're important to me, I make the effort.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if I can leave you with something here and you're in this boat where you're thinking, well, geez, I need new friends.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've been there.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: You need to find ways to connect.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'll do another show on that for everybody.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: So, in closing, what I want to say is if you're feeling disconnected or isolated or just plain exhausted, or like you're carrying too much all by yourself on your own, maybe the answer isn't to do another thing, but maybe it's to have a conversation with someone or initiate a friendship, or take a walk with a friend, or make time, set that coffee date with someone who gets you, or someone who you think might and you want to know better.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: A community that understands where you are.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Make the time for that.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Seek that, try that until you find the one that fits.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And create the space to reconnect with yourself and the world at large.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Take a walk out in nature, spend some time doing something, learning to like yourself and spend time with yourself.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Just don't be alone all the time.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: We're not meant to go through life alone.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Healing happens in connection.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: We need alone time for restoration.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: That is true.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: However, there's a point where restoration, relaxation, rebalancing by ourselves stops feeding us and starts hurting us.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where we really deeply need the connection.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Growth happens in connection.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: And some of the most meaningful transformations happen when we stop trying to do everything alone.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: As I look ahead at our upcoming Sedona retreat experience this November and future retreats that I'm planning, I am reminded again and again and again that the transformation rarely happens in isolation.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: It happens in community.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: As I look at the pictures from going out and laughing and being with my wonderful group of friends, I am reminded of the same.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: It happens when women feel safe enough to be together and be real and have these shared experiences.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: So if you would like to learn more about upcoming retreats, experiences, coaching programs, or anything else, join our wait list or connect with me.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Visit my website at fredericadavis.com.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll be back Saturday, our passion, purpose, and identity Saturdays.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: So until then, be rooted, be resilient, and be limitless.