Latest / The Chris and Mike Show / #186 - Eric & Candice - The Impulsive Duo

Transcript

#186 - Eric & Candice - The Impulsive Duo · The Chris and Mike Show

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  And we're live. We are live little boys and
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  girls I know. Right, for we play a little.
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  Music to get started. I'm.
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  Yeah. Hey, welcome to the Chris and
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  Mike show. He's Mike.
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  I'm Chris. And a portion of the show is
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  brought to you by Riverside FM, the one and only choice for your
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  podcasting platforms. Remember, we are live on Twitch,
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  YouTube and streaming directly on our website at
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  chrisandmikeshow.com. With us today we have Eric and
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  Candace, the impulsive duo Slash the Pineapple.
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  Perfector. This is going to be a super fun
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  episode. This is a super fun
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  conversation, so for those of us that don't know who you 2 are,
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  why don't you give us a little elevator ride and tell us why
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  you're here, what you're all about, and and the kind of fun
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  conversation we're going to have today.
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  Let's see, well, we are yes to impulsive duo on social media.
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  We have a podcast. We consider ourselves lifestyle
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  or swinger for those that don't know what the term lifestyle is.
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  Educators. We've been a lifestyle for a
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  while and just kind of educate and we're advocates for it and
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  we share our experiences. We own a couple apps that are
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  lifestyle centered and we yeah, just do social media, YouTube,
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  podcasts, we travel around, we host events.
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  What else do? You do we we we help people have
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  sex, apparently. See, that's a wonderful thing,
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  right, 'cause sex brings the world together, right?
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  We're we're mad. At all the hate and anger.
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  There you go. So how do you?
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  So let's talk about matchmaking. How do you, how do you, how do
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  you do that from a social media standpoint?
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  Well, I owe Unicorn Landing, which is a lifestyle app for
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  women in the lifestyle to connect with other women with a
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  little more women centric or centered and women kind of make
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  the first move on the app. And so that kind of was where
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  the dating we I see that we're a matchmaker.
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  We help other people hook up more than we do.
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  And then just when we host events, really, we always joke
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  that everyone else comes to the events and has a good time.
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  And Eric and I are working most of the time or, you know,
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  talking to a lot of people. So we don't always get to have
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  as much fun as they do. And a lot of people have the
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  events and stuff a couple and it's usually the same thing of
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  like, you know, how do I play or we run to a lot of people that
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  go to a lot of clubs and they've never played before.
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  How do I play? And her and I are really good
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  about just talking to people who are new and the next thing you
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  know you get these people who have never played at a club and
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  now they're playing all of a sudden.
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  Yeah, while everyone else is having fun, Eric and I are like,
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  cool, And then we're cleaning up, you know, our stuff.
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  And so we just always joke. We help other people hook up.
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  OK, cool. So I'm going to back up a little
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  bit because when you drop, when you drop the phrases, I want the
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  definition. So what's a Unicorn for those
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  that don't know? So a Unicorn is a single
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  typically bisexual female that will play with couples.
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  So like if you're interested in like a three-way situation, it's
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  typically a single female, yes, that is bisexual will play with
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  couples. And the Unicorn Landing app is
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  for all women, not just single bisexual women, just for women
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  to connect and also single women to feel like they have a safe
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  place to talk to couples. So yes, that is what a Unicorn
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  is. OK.
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  Gotcha. Mike, do you have any questions
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  so far? You're just sitting there.
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  That wouldn't. That was my question, the
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  definition. He's intrigued.
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  I've actually, yeah. Yeah.
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  Well, I just wonder, did you meet outside of this lifestyle?
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  Did you decide this lifestyle together?
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  You know, how did this happen in the relationship?
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  So we we actually met each other on Bumble.
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  We're both going through divorces.
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  I had just moved to Idaho and I was, I was new here to Idaho and
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  I was just trying to find what to do here and looking for
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  friends. And as guys, as you 2, as guys
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  know how hard it is to make friends, especially later on in
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  age. So, you know, you jump on apps
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  and I ended up meeting Candace, who was, you know, going through
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  divorce too. And so we just became friends.
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  We became friends with benefits, like she became like my best
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  friend up here and then we kind of went our own separate way.
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  Never talked about the lifestyle or any of that.
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  She knew that I did social media at the time.
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  I was bisexual. I had, I had kind of come out as
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  I and kind of wanted to explore that after my divorce and, you
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  know, kind of just experiments, I mean, as you do when you're
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  newly divorced and kind of finding yourself.
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  And so I had told Eric that I was, you know, wanted to kind of
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  explore that as well. And he was like, cool, that
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  sounds great. And so, yeah, wow, that's a
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  drag. So.
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  It was something that he was like, yeah, you know, he wanted
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  me to have the opportunity to explore and whatever.
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  And then when we started. Well, we actually started date
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  dating. Yeah, dating.
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  It was kind of one of those things where it's like we can
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  still explore this together and kind of just learning.
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  When I was single and on dating apps, I had ran into a lot of
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  couples who were kind of looking for that a single girl.
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  And I was like, oh, this is like an actual thing that people do.
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  I didn't know a ton about the term Unicorn or the term like
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  the lifestyle, but I have had, yeah, a lot of couples reach out
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  to me and wanted, you know, And so I kind of just brought that
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  up to Eric and we just kind of just started discussing it and
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  it just evolved over the last several years.
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  Yeah. It's.
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  Evolved so so the so OK, so the app again is called Unicorn
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  Landing and you find it on all the app stores.
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  Yeah, it's on Google and iOS. Yeah.
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  So that was started. I started that we've been the
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  lifestyle for a little bit and I was finding that a lot of the
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  life, there is a lot of lifestyle apps out there are a
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  handful of them and they're great.
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  I we use them all. I always tell people it's best
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  to kind of use them all rotate, but a lot of them are very male
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  dominated and men are on the profiles and men run the
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  profiles. And so it was just kind of a
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  place where a lot of women didn't feel comfortable on apps.
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  So yeah, that's kind of how it came.
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  About so you so you figure out a way to empower women in in the,
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  in the sex forward movement. I call it sex forward movement.
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  So, but you figure out how to empower women by giving them
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  more control, which I think is cool.
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  It is cool. Yeah, I was running into a lot
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  of women like me who were just wanting to kind of explore this
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  new side of themselves and explore their sexuality.
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  But they were like, where do I meet people?
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  Where do I even meet just friends?
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  Where do I, you know, where do I find people like me kind of in
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  this new phase of life? So that was, yeah, kind of it
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  was just a community to to find other women, really.
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  Yeah, because when you're when you get into this lifestyle and
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  you you get onto apps, like we made the decision when we first
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  got into this lifestyle, I knew my personality and I want this
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  was for, you know, my wife to explore this side of it.
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  And so I was like, hey, you run the apps.
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  And it was kind of even what I didn't even realize is bad is
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  it's very dominated by men. And there's a lot of men who
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  don't know what this is at all about.
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  I'm sure there's a lot of people probably watching your podcast
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  that are like, oh, swingers. So they're not happy together.
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  She's just getting railed on the side all this.
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  So you get a lot of guys who are cheating on their wives.
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  They don't even know they're on swinger apps.
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  Guys who just they have no idea what this lifestyle really
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  entails at all. Yeah, I had multiple men asked
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  me to have affairs, all sorts of interesting situations that I
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  was running into. So, so it was one of those that.
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  So she had some ideas. So shed some light on that.
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  Yeah, yeah. Shed some light to the well,
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  yeah, the men's side because that that obviously Candace has
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  the app. It's it's driven to help empower
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  women, you know, safe place on some level, right.
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  So, so talk about what you just alluded to there, Eric, as as
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  far as what men think of it, or which, just like you said, what
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  viewers are watching this night now thinking you're just, oh,
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  you're swingers, you're not happy.
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  You're, you're chasing things and you're trying to fill voids
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  and all that kind of nonsense, which I've, we've watched enough
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  of you to know that's not the case, but I.
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  But the rest of the world? Is going to have the
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  preconceived notion? Absolutely.
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  Yeah, the the preconceived notion, even like my
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  preconceived notion was, you know, people aren't happy and
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  this is just an easy excuse to cheat.
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  And and it really isn't because the swinger lifestyle, I mean,
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  you're very open with your partner.
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  You're talking about everything. I mean, we're not doing anything
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  behind each other's back. We're consenting 100% right?
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  Everything together. Communicating, right?
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  And it's amazing, like she'd be on apps.
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  And especially when you're new, you don't want to like offend
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  people. Like you don't know what you're
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  doing. You think everybody's just like
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  you and you really go into with that almost naive mentality.
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  And so she would tell me, oh, I'm talking to this guy.
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  But next thing you know, his wife would never get into a
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  group chat or she'd come up to me and be like, this guy
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  actually goes to our gym and he wants to do me in his car.
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  His wife just had a baby. She doesn't even know he's on
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  the app. And we're just like, what the
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  hell is wrong with people? Yeah, so we're fighting a lot of
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  men. We're just fighting it as like
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  an excuse to lie or cheat or yeah, so and there is a lot of
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  that preconceived notion like, oh, any girl that's in the
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  lifestyle that's, you know, I'm just getting railed out by a
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  bunch of dudes. I'm not happy.
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  I'll hook up with anybody. There's just so many, yes,
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  preconceived notions. And we always tell people,
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  everybody, or how I always tell people when they think like, why
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  are you doing this? Why be married?
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  So 90%, five percent of me in Eric's life is a very monogamous
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  normal life. We've got kids and events and we
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  travel and you know, I've got kids in sports and it's just
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  that's our life. We have a home together.
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  We have a normal, monogamous, healthy relationship.
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  But every, everybody out there and you're lying if you say you
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  haven't, has had some sort of fantasy, sexual fantasy at some
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  point in your life, whether it be with another girl, with
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  another guy, with a couple, whatever it may be.
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  Everybody's had some sort of like, oh, that could be hot.
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  Now imagine getting to do those things with somebody you
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  absolutely trust, your best friend and in a healthy way.
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  And you're like, and then afterwards you're like, Oh my
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  God, it's so hot. And we just do that together.
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  And it's like really like, it just adds this level of like
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  spice and excitement. And I think people don't look at
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  it like that. They think it was like, oh,
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  you're just miserable. Why are you guys even together?
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  And it's that's could be further from the.
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  Truth. It's the whole opposite, OK?
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  So, and well, it's the complete opposite.
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  Because if even if, if you look at like divorce rates and stuff,
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  because there are these studies coming out like horse rates
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  among swingers are lower than monogamous.
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  And the big thing is, is you have to talk to your partner.
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  How often do you talk to your partner about sex or you know,
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  what problems that you're having to communicate like this?
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  We have to talk about everything.
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  If something's not good mentally, like you have to talk
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  about, we're not going to go to an event and have a bad
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  experience or blow, you know, blow up.
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  Or you can't and you can't let things like fester.
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  You have to bring it up right away.
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  Feelings or hey, I'm feeling. And the more you do that, the
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  more you say, hey, this made me jealous.
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  Hey, I felt uncomfortable. This I'm feeling this way.
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  The more you do it, the easier it gets.
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  And so Eric and I have zero reason.
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  Or like we don't hide anything for each other because we don't
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  have to. Nice.
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  Yeah, yeah. So here's so so you you made a
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  couple comments and I have I have a question that's directly
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  to rated that so you have kids, right?
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  Yes. OK, so do your kids know?
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  Because you're so out there socially, so I would think it
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  was almost impossible to realize something so.
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  I know. So I have, I have two kids.
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  They're Eric's best kids. I have a now one that is now an
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  adult child that in college. And yes, they do know.
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  We don't. We obviously Eric and I are in
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  it on the business side. So of course it's like, oh, we
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  have work events. I own an app, you know, they
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  know what swinging kind of is, but we don't discuss it anything
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  other than that. Like Eric and I are going out
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  for the weekend with friends, doing something.
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  We're like, oh, we're hanging out with friends.
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  Like you don't discuss those things with.
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  You don't discuss what you do in the bedroom.
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  Monogamist. You don't.
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  Do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  I didn't think you would. Yeah.
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  Your mom and dad are going to go to this club, but everybody so.
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  You keep it very inappropriate. They know, you know, it's kind
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  of one of those things. It's like you guys are adults,
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  you do what you want. I don't care.
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  We just don't really talk about it more than just like all of
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  you have a work event, a business event.
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  I do also have a younger teenager and they actually do
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  not know. They know that I own an app.
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  They know that we have we travel for work, we do social media,
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  but they don't we they don't have their own social media yet.
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  They're like very new teenager. And so we have had discussions
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  about we are going to have to have adult like we are an age
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  appropriate conversation kind of about what we do because it's
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  only a matter of time. But we do have them blocked on
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  things, yeah. OK, OK, so that being said, now
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  we got the kids covered. What about your parents?
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  Because I'm sure people are sitting and watching this, you
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  know? Oh, I bet their mom and dads are
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  super pissed or like freaked out by what they're doing, you know?
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  Now I understand, Beck. It's the same thing as a
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  daughter. Yeah, because here's The thing
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  is, is just like with with parents and stuff like this,
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  it's funny because everyone looks at swing different than
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  they do monogamous, even though it's kind of the same thing
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  You're sex is in both, you know what I mean?
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  And so it's not that I ever watched my parents ever and was
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  like, Oh yeah, you know, me and and so and so we just rammed one
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  out any of that, you know, and we don't work for validation
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  from our parents. A lot of people will will talk
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  about like talking to their kids or their parents, like they have
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  this coming out, like they need to be validated almost.
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  For us, we brought it up. It's a business.
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  It's black and white. We don't go into detail.
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  They know that we're thriving and we have very successful
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  life. And so they're just, they're
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  cool with it and you don't really go into detail.
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  Yeah, and I I did grow up very conservative and I come from a
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  conservative family. And again, I think my like my
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  mom has passed. But my dad, I think it's one of
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  those things where they see me being successful and we own a
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  home and, you know, my kids are happy and healthy.
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  We don't bring any of this into our home.
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  It doesn't involve my children. They, you know as well.
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  They. Yeah, it's like you're happy,
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  you're healthy. I don't care what you're doing
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  behind closed doors. You're adults.
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  They know I own a business. But again, I think you, Eric and
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  I have been very lucky that our our parents are very supportive
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  of just who we are as people. And as long as we're health,
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  healthy, functioning members of society, we've been and I do
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  have some extended family I don't see quite as much.
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  And I've had like an uncle make some kind of rude comments.
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  But again, it's funny because you know he'll say those things
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  and has made some rude comments to other members of our family.
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  Yet he is married to his ex wife's best friend who he was
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  having an affair with. And that's all OK with the
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  entire family, but I'm a disappointment.
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  OK, so his marriage, his ex wife's best.
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  Friend. OK, Yeah.
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  Criticalness and I don't need people like that in my life, so.
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  No, Agreed. Let them be what they want to
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  be. Do you have any questions, Mike?
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  I guess most people's question would be you answered, you know
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  that you do it outside the home. How long have you guys been at
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  this? Because you're, I'll give you
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  credit, you're older than I thought you were.
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  Apparently I thought you were way younger than us.
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  But if you have an adult child, congratulations.
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  Thank you. Good skin care.
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  She's kidding. I did have my daughter Young.
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  I have her 22. So I mean, she's, you know, OK,
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  I'm for. I'm actually going to be 41 next
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  week. Congratulations, you look great.
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  You both look great. What age did you get into this?
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  So I can have a time frame and the listeners can have a time
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  frame. And how long have you been at
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  this? Because you've accomplished a
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  lot and you really have explained how you've established
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  rules and. Yeah, in just 20 minutes, you've
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  like, you've like given like a whole.
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  Here's a whole nugget of everything which is awesome.
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  So we've been in, we've actually only been in the lifestyle for
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  five years, which in the reality of the lifestyle and people you
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  meet, it's a very short time. We've only been together for
• 17:33
  five years. But I think that Eric and I,
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  just because we started to be vocal about it, we never claimed
• 17:41
  to be experts. We share our own experiences.
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  We saw how hard it was when we first got in the lifestyle to
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  find resources, what we were doing, we had no idea where to
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  meet people and just sharing the real side of the lifestyle.
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  And so that's. So we, again, we never claimed
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  to be expert on the lifestyle, but we've also met so many
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  people over the years and like share their experiences, things
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  like that. So yeah, we've only been at it
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  for yeah, about five years. So we've met when we.
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  Were so. I was 34 turning 35.
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  I was 40. You were 40.
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  Yeah. Eric had just turned 40.
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  Yeah, OK. So yeah, no.
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  So did you have a mixed? You have a come off like, oh, go
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  ahead. No, I was just going to say, for
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  lack of a better term, did you have, do you have a couple that
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  mentored you Like, hey, come along, we'll show you the path.
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  That's a great question. No, we and like social media, if
• 18:39
  you look at it, makes swinging look like this is super easy.
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  Everybody's hooking up, everybody's playing, everyone's
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  confident. Every there there's like, like
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  this is the easiest thing in the world.
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  And so we even went into this like, oh, this is going to be so
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  much fun and you don't really realize the reality of it.
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  And that was the thing that we wanted to share when we started
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  even sharing by our social, doing it on social media was
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  just what was the reality of this?
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  Because it's not what social media plays it out to be.
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  People think we're we're hooking up with people left and right
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  all the time. We might play once a month.
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  Not even not even that. Like this year, we played twice.
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  Twice, yeah. And it's and it's March.
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  The end of March. Yeah, yeah.
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  So social media portrays this lifestyle completely different
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  than what in reality it is. And so we started sharing, yeah,
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  the good, the bad, the ugly with it.
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  And we think that Eric and I are a pretty average couple, Like
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  average, like looking. And you know, we live in Boise,
• 19:33
  ID, nowhere fancy big city. We, you know, we just kind of
• 19:37
  share like what's the reality of what real life swingers were
• 19:40
  like? Like we're not off doing a bunch
• 19:42
  of porn like a lot of them are. And just that's kind of how we
• 19:47
  kind of dove head first into it because we know that we were so
• 19:50
  lost when we started it that that's why like our Facebook
• 19:54
  group book that we have all of that is called Swinging for
• 19:57
  newbies. Like we really focus on what
• 19:59
  it's like to be brand new in this lifestyle and have no idea
• 20:03
  what to do. So you so you wrote a book
• 20:06
  called Swinging for Newbies. Yeah, it's just like a little
• 20:09
  manual. It just shares a little bit
• 20:11
  about our journey. That's awesome.
• 20:14
  Questions. OK, things like that.
• 20:15
  It's on our website. It's an ebook.
• 20:18
  That's awesome. 8 dollars 799. OK.
• 20:24
  I'm looking it up. Go ahead, Mike, Fire away with a
• 20:26
  question. I'm just fascinated.
• 20:29
  I that is not the experience that I think that most people
• 20:33
  would portray, You know, that they have the image.
• 20:36
  You always go to the worst case scenario.
• 20:39
  You know, everybody thinks of the nuclear family, you know,
• 20:42
  mom, the kids, and then you start throwing this kind of
• 20:46
  monkey wrench into their thought process and they automatically
• 20:50
  go to you're going to the seedy place and, you know, you're
• 20:55
  putting the kids to bed and you're doing things that you
• 20:58
  shouldn't be doing. And you just explained the exact
• 21:00
  opposite of that. So kudos to you for, like Chris
• 21:04
  said, not having a mentor and inventing this way of making it
• 21:08
  work that your kids don't even understand what's going on
• 21:11
  really. And that's kind of the way it
• 21:12
  should be. Yeah.
• 21:15
  No, it's and it's one of those that it's.
• 21:16
  Love and. Pulsively, you know, there,
• 21:18
  there isn't a right or wrong way to be in this lifestyle.
• 21:20
  There's a lot of people that are kind of like us.
• 21:22
  We get in, you get in this lifestyle because the wife, you
• 21:24
  know, wants to experiment or even the guy wants to experiment
• 21:27
  or whatever it might be, you know.
• 21:30
  Yeah. Yeah, there's like for.
• 21:35
  Like for instance, like you're monogamous and you go away for
• 21:38
  an anniversary weekend with your partner to somewhere romantic
• 21:41
  and sexy. You don't come home and tell
• 21:43
  your parents, tell your kids, oh guess what your dad and I did
• 21:47
  this weekend. Like you don't you say mom and
• 21:49
  dad went. To you know.
• 21:50
  The mountains for the weekend and we had a great time.
• 21:53
  And that you leave it at that. And it's just like our life's,
• 21:56
  you know, when we go to events, it's like, oh, we have a work
• 21:58
  event or oh, we're going to, we're going to go do this event
• 22:01
  for the, we're going to whatever Chicago for the weekend.
• 22:04
  And it's like, OK, like we don't, we don't owe anybody what
• 22:08
  you do. And so I think a lot of people
• 22:10
  forget that. And again, we are public.
• 22:13
  And so it obviously is a little harder to hide, but we always
• 22:16
  joke and tell even like my daughter, she obviously has
• 22:20
  social media. She's a, you know, an adult and
• 22:24
  she's I'm like, you can block me on anything.
• 22:26
  Like I won't be offended, like I don't know.
• 22:29
  And then she's made a few comments and she'd be like one
• 22:31
  of your real showed off on my for you page and I'm like, well,
• 22:34
  don't watch it then, right, And I'm pretty careful.
• 22:37
  I try not to. Go.
• 22:38
  See graphic more in an educational way.
• 22:41
  OK. Yeah.
• 22:44
  And for those of you curious, they do offer lifestyle
• 22:46
  mentoring. So again, the impulsiveduo.com
• 22:49
  yeah, we go to mentoring which. We haven't done and we do have
• 22:52
  that. I know we haven't done it in a
• 22:54
  little while, but we will. We have had calls with people
• 22:57
  like FaceTime, Zoom calls, cool. And we've done that just so
• 23:03
  people have questions and just really want to.
• 23:05
  We get a lot. Sorry, our website's not that
• 23:07
  great. It needs updated.
• 23:09
  Yeah, a lot of people overthink this lifestyle and what it is 0.
• 23:13
  There's our. Podcast and that's the that's
• 23:15
  the whole thing is it's you don't have to overthink it.
• 23:18
  It's it's literally you and your partner going in and doing what
• 23:21
  you kind of fantasize and talk about together.
• 23:23
  Yeah. And you may find things that you
• 23:24
  don't like. You'll find things that maybe
• 23:26
  you do like. Like we always tell people from
• 23:29
  the beginning, I mean, our journey where we started just
• 23:31
  wanting to play with girls and what we just, it evolves and
• 23:36
  changes over time and we go through phases where we're kind
• 23:39
  of like you could give it give or take like, you know, but we
• 23:42
  could give or take the lifestyle really.
• 23:44
  Again, we have a business around it.
• 23:46
  So we're kind of involved, but you know, we go through phases
• 23:50
  where we're. We're all like, hey, let's have
• 23:52
  some spokes. And then we go through phases
• 23:54
  where we're like, dude, this is too much energy.
• 23:56
  I'd rather go take a walk outside in the night.
• 23:59
  Yeah, like I just want to spend time with my husband and go on a
• 24:02
  nice vacation. Yeah.
• 24:04
  Yeah, so I'm watching some of this stuff because again, you
• 24:07
  know, algorithms and whatnot when you I can, I, I, I and it
• 24:12
  comes across in the on the show, but it also comes across on the
• 24:15
  stuff I've seen with you guys. You're you, you're very much in
• 24:18
  love. You're very connected with each
• 24:20
  other. It just seems like this is just
• 24:22
  one of those things that kind of elevates your sex life first for
• 24:27
  a small amount of time over span of a year.
• 24:29
  You you, you have a blast with like minded people.
• 24:32
  You're not hurting anybody. And I, and from what I've
• 24:35
  understand about the thing, there's there's full swap,
• 24:37
  there's soft swap. And, and so people understand
• 24:42
  the correct me if I'm wrong or correct me if I'm right, soft
• 24:45
  swap is, is you're together in a room and there's no intercourse
• 24:48
  with the other people where full swap is.
• 24:52
  And so full swap is kind of all-encompassing.
• 24:54
  Everything where soft swap is, is all the oral for played that
• 24:58
  type of stuff, right. So, yeah, what's the, what's the
• 25:01
  major? Yeah, go ahead, there's OK.
• 25:05
  So what's parallel? So you're playing and, and other
• 25:08
  people are just playing around you.
• 25:09
  A lot of people play like that at the club.
• 25:10
  They'll just play with their their partner on a pet and it's
• 25:13
  kind of hot other people doing it around.
• 25:14
  You, yeah, you like the noises and like arts be an exhibition.
• 25:17
  There's voyeurs or exhibitionists who just like to
• 25:20
  be watched or watch other PeopleSoft swap.
• 25:24
  It's yeah, there's no actual like penetration.
• 25:26
  There might be some touching and other things, whatever you're
• 25:30
  comfortable with. And then full swap is pretty
• 25:33
  much. They all do what I like and.
• 25:38
  That there's boundaries. Involved.
• 25:39
  Where people be like, hey, you know people, but what this or
• 25:43
  whatever. And you always discuss those
• 25:45
  boundaries ahead of time, like what you are and are OK with.
• 25:49
  And you know, it's a very open, it's not like you're just going
• 25:53
  into it hooking up with people and it's like you have to be a
• 25:57
  mature adult. We always tell people if you're
• 25:58
  not ready to be a mature adult and have the conversations about
• 26:02
  boundaries and St. DS and protection and all of
• 26:04
  that, you're not ready because you have to have that
• 26:07
  conversation with people. You have to say, here's my
• 26:10
  recent test results. I only want to use protection.
• 26:13
  You know, I'm on birth control. What are your guys's boundaries?
• 26:16
  You have to have that conversation and be comfortable
• 26:20
  having it. Now here here's here's a
• 26:23
  question that I'm sure a lot of people are curious about.
• 26:26
  So you know, the, the the age-old saying, you know, size
• 26:31
  matters. So in this lifestyle, if you
• 26:34
  guys, if you guys ended up with say a, a, a male female couple,
• 26:39
  right, and you and your full swapping, is there any from your
• 26:42
  standpoint, Eric, like if he's like, Oh my gosh, he's bigger
• 26:45
  than me. Are you are you concerned about
• 26:46
  that? Is that like, holy smokes, my
• 26:48
  wife's going to going to like that better than me?
• 26:52
  Or is that just everybody being stupid?
• 26:54
  Because it's not so much the size, it's how you how you use
• 26:58
  it. Well, it's if that it's, it's
• 27:00
  the it's, it has nothing to do with the size that question.
• 27:04
  What I I've always learned is it's more insecurities.
• 27:07
  That's what bras brings that because it's always guys.
• 27:09
  It's never, it's never went. You know, that that will bring
• 27:12
  up, Oh, if this guy's bigger than me, this is how I think of
• 27:15
  it. It's always the guys that will
• 27:16
  bring it up. And a lot of that is
• 27:17
  insecurities. Let's face it, you're going to
• 27:19
  when we play. I'm the first one to get naked.
• 27:22
  I've seen guys that are bigger than me.
• 27:23
  I've seen a lot of guys smaller than it doesn't like.
• 27:27
  It doesn't matter. Like this is 30 minutes an hour
• 27:30
  of fun. Yeah, and if you're not
• 27:32
  confident enough, your relationship looking like Eric's
• 27:35
  been with, you know, women that are smaller than me, bigger
• 27:37
  chest than me, and it's like more.
• 27:39
  It's like hell yeah, high 5. We got to do that.
• 27:44
  But yeah, it's, you know, it's. It's more so it's yes.
• 27:51
  So it's yeah. It goes.
• 27:53
  Back it goes back to your experience and you're and you're
• 27:56
  yeah, yeah, you're sharing something you're sharing
• 27:58
  something that everybody's. Enjoying, I mean you more or
• 28:00
  less. I mean the things that you run
• 28:02
  into more or less are are, you know, guys will have a harder
• 28:04
  time sometimes keeping it up or guys will end up finishing way
• 28:08
  too like very quickly got you. I mean, those are way more
• 28:13
  common than than really sitting there going, Oh my God, this
• 28:16
  guy's bigger than me or smaller, you know what I mean?
• 28:18
  Okay, okay, yeah, it's a. New experience like we are I
• 28:23
  call it vacation vacation Dick so you know you love but but
• 28:31
  really so you love your that. Was the best.
• 28:34
  That's the best sound bite ever. To your you know what you're
• 28:38
  used to playing with somebody else, guy or girl, whatever.
• 28:42
  Maybe it's different. It's always going to be
• 28:44
  different. Bigger, smaller, whatever.
• 28:45
  It feels different. Sure.
• 28:48
  He's going to be a different sensation of some kind.
• 28:50
  And it's kind of like you get to go have a little bit of fun, but
• 28:53
  you love coming home to your partner.
• 28:54
  Now, if you're not secure enough in your relationship, this
• 28:57
  lifestyle is not for you. You have to be secure and happy
• 29:00
  and content in your relationship to even consider doing something
• 29:03
  like this. But it doesn't even phase me.
• 29:06
  Like I said, if air plays with somebody who I think is, you
• 29:08
  know, way hotter than me or whatever, and it's like, heck
• 29:12
  yeah, he got to have some fun. And then we get to reconnect and
• 29:16
  talk about it. And I'm secure enough to know
• 29:19
  that my partner is not going to leave me for just a 5 minutes
• 29:22
  or, you know, 30 minutes of sex. And if he does leave me for
• 29:25
  that, then our relationship would have failed, monogamous or
• 29:28
  not. And we have a lot deeper issues
• 29:32
  than the lifestyle if my husband would leave me over something so
• 29:37
  you know. Yeah, I mean, and, and I think
• 29:39
  more often than not, I mean, and I think it's different for
• 29:42
  everybody, but like, you'll, you'll end up having an
• 29:43
  experience and you'll be like, I like sex with my wife better,
• 29:47
  you know. I mean, it's really weird of how
• 29:49
  it how it works that way is it's like, oh, this was a this was a
• 29:52
  hot experience. This was a lot of fun.
• 29:54
  But wow, I really actually appreciate my wife even more
• 29:57
  now. Yeah.
• 29:57
  And. I, I tend to get not great
• 29:59
  experience. We've had some experiences are
• 30:01
  not so great for me that I'm like, I just want to watch like
• 30:05
  it's fun and like there's people touching and like the whole
• 30:08
  experience overall is fun. You get to flirt.
• 30:10
  It's kind of, we're both very ADHD and a lot of people in the
• 30:13
  lifestyle are. It's like a dopamine hit.
• 30:15
  You're like, you know, you get that new fun, flirty feeling,
• 30:18
  but then at the end of the day, you're like, Hey, why don't we
• 30:20
  go home and have sex with my own husband now because he knows
• 30:23
  what I like. And it's.
• 30:25
  Yeah. So it's not always like.
• 30:27
  So so. Sex is better.
• 30:30
  Right, it's, it's more of the, the IT sounds like it's more the
• 30:33
  adventure and the thrill of the adventure and and getting from
• 30:36
  point into point being like, OK, right, right.
• 30:39
  So, so, So what I'm hearing to this kind of a mute point now,
• 30:43
  because there is, correct me if I'm wrong.
• 30:46
  And this is sound like any insecurity when you guys are
• 30:48
  doing this because you're so grounded in who you are as a
• 30:51
  couple and you have all the boundaries in place that that if
• 30:55
  like you just said, Candace, if he's having sex with somebody
• 30:57
  that that you feel is much harder than you, you're high 5
• 30:59
  and way to go. You got to do that and vice
• 31:01
  versa. Yeah.
• 31:04
  Yeah, no, completely, because you also know your partner well
• 31:07
  enough. Like if she molds and I know
• 31:09
  she's enjoying it, right? There's like that little twinge
• 31:11
  of like, jealousy, a little bit like afterwards.
• 31:13
  I'm not fucking rail you out. Yeah, fuck you.
• 31:16
  Yeah. Or there's those times where you
• 31:18
  hear partner and you're just, like, in the very beginning.
• 31:21
  You don't realize this, but everybody puts on a show.
• 31:24
  Everybody's moaning louder than normal, doing different moves
• 31:27
  than normal. Because let's face it, in a
• 31:29
  relationship, your sex becomes very routine.
• 31:33
  And so this helps break that routine.
• 31:35
  It reminds you, oh, I actually like this position or I like to
• 31:37
  do this shit. I haven't done this with my wife
• 31:39
  in a while. I want to do this with her now
• 31:42
  and then. You also know your partner well
• 31:44
  enough where if she's overly mournful and stuff, I'm just
• 31:47
  like, oh, she's not having the best of time, let's swap back.
• 31:52
  Or, you know, figuring out ways to keep it as fun as possible
• 31:55
  and and vice. Versa.
• 31:56
  And there are definitely like those times of jealousy.
• 31:58
  I mean, don't get me wrong, we're not perfect.
• 32:00
  I mean, there's definitely. I was just going to ask you
• 32:02
  that. I was just.
• 32:04
  I was just. Yeah.
• 32:04
  I was just going to ask you that if you ever get a hand of
• 32:07
  jealousy when you're. Yeah.
• 32:09
  Yeah, we this really pretty uniform and back in like
• 32:12
  October, November and we had been talking quite a bit on like
• 32:15
  just text message, but like meeting up hadn't happened yet
• 32:18
  because with just life and scheduling and she had kids and
• 32:22
  you know, that's just how it works too.
• 32:23
  It's also very difficult to schedule.
• 32:25
  And we had talked about we'd have met her in person, but we
• 32:27
  hadn't like. We had, we hadn't played.
• 32:30
  With her and we were all chatting quite a bit and her and
• 32:32
  Eric became really chatty in a group and I could just tell he
• 32:35
  was kind of fascinated with her. I mean, again, she was really
• 32:37
  pretty. She was cool.
• 32:39
  And I was kind of having more insecure about like other
• 32:43
  things. And I had to be totally honest
• 32:45
  with him and say, hey, I just want to let you know and not
• 32:50
  anything like that. Like, you have to be so
• 32:51
  vulnerable about your jealousy. And like, you know, you just
• 32:54
  have to be honest about what's making you jealous.
• 32:57
  And your partner has to have enough respect for you to listen
• 33:01
  to you and validate that jealousy.
• 33:03
  And, you know, he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.
• 33:06
  He doesn't want to make me jealous, so having conversations
• 33:10
  about it regularly keep it a lot healthier.
• 33:12
  No, and, and having those conversations is really
• 33:14
  important and it's hard. I think it's easier for women to
• 33:16
  share also what men are. For men, a majority of them I
• 33:20
  talk to, it's a lot harder for us to share because we're, we're
• 33:23
  way more challenged when it comes to communicating than
• 33:27
  women. And so like, if my wife knows
• 33:31
  we've had discussions about it, like something that can
• 33:33
  especially in the wrong, if I'm in the wrong mindset that can
• 33:35
  throw me off is kissing. And so like we were on a cruise
• 33:39
  one and and she just stopped in the middle and was came over.
• 33:43
  She's like, hey, I'm going to go make out with him.
• 33:44
  Are you OK with that? Just having that like, oh, OK,
• 33:48
  cool. Because she knows if I would
• 33:49
  turn around and I'm not in the right mindset, it's kind of one
• 33:51
  of those, oh. So this is what we're.
• 33:53
  Oh, shit, yeah. Oh shit.
• 33:54
  Moment it's just it's that that respect for your partner, you
• 33:58
  know what I mean? Like like when she came to me
• 34:00
  and was like, hey, this is great.
• 34:02
  I'm going to back this down like I'm not questioning it.
• 34:04
  I'm not there's no resistance. Like you're my #1 like, OK,
• 34:09
  like, I want you to feel extremely comfortable.
• 34:12
  Yeah, and your partner always has to be your number one
• 34:14
  priority. And if if you go out for the
• 34:17
  nights or we're doing something and and I am like, yeah, let's
• 34:20
  go play, but Eric is like, I'm not feeling it tonight, then
• 34:24
  then we're going to respect the fact that he's not there.
• 34:26
  And I'm not going to do that because his feeling is better
• 34:29
  way more than me than, you know, going out for the lifestyle.
• 34:33
  Like it's not, I don't need this lifestyle.
• 34:36
  Just something hot and fun you do together.
• 34:40
  Right. So if so, if you go in, if you
• 34:41
  go with a couple like you're going out, you're hanging out,
• 34:43
  you're having, you're making connections and stuff like that,
• 34:45
  then you're like, OK, let's go. You call it spicy time, I think
• 34:48
  you said. So we're going to go back and
• 34:49
  and kind of spice things up. Now you get to, you get to their
• 34:53
  house and everybody's naked, everybody's making out, having
• 34:55
  fun, you know, and, and you have your boundaries and stuff.
• 34:59
  So what if the boundaries changed in the midst of that?
• 35:01
  How do you guys address that? Like if, if, if someone's
• 35:05
  they're going to go do these things within the in the, in the
• 35:08
  heat of the moment, like, yeah, I don't want to do that.
• 35:10
  So what does that do to the scenario or the vibe, if you
• 35:14
  will? The first time it happens, you
• 35:16
  have no idea what the fuck is going on and you're like, oh,
• 35:18
  and then and then it's the worst.
• 35:20
  It's the worst feeling in the world because it's like, oh God,
• 35:22
  what do I? Do well and you don't want to be
• 35:24
  the asshole and make this big deal in front of everybody.
• 35:26
  So you're like, do I just go along with this right now?
• 35:29
  Yeah. And, and so it's a very big
• 35:31
  learning experience the first time it ever happens and and
• 35:33
  it's happened and it's happened to us and we have not had it
• 35:36
  happen again. I will say if it happened again
• 35:38
  I I would have no problem being. Nope.
• 35:42
  The ADHD person I am whatever, just being like no, but we're
• 35:45
  stopping right here. I am not comfortable with this.
• 35:47
  I'll make it very gulful. Yeah, if somebody did something,
• 35:50
  and I think a lot of that is your journey.
• 35:52
  Like we, our journey is so different now and we're so much
• 35:56
  more secure with ourselves and the lifestyle, our relationship,
• 36:00
  all of that than we were years ago that I think I have a lot
• 36:03
  more. I don't feel like I owe anybody
• 36:05
  anything. I don't owe anybody my body.
• 36:07
  I don't care if we're already naked in bed.
• 36:09
  I don't owe you anything. And so if I want to stop, I'm
• 36:12
  going to stop. And I feel like that's something
• 36:16
  you get more comfortable with and like, learn that you can do,
• 36:20
  I don't know, you just get more comfortable over time and just
• 36:24
  get, yeah, more confident, I guess.
• 36:26
  Yeah, no, because it's a respect thing.
• 36:27
  Somebody didn't respect what I said.
• 36:29
  I'm not for like, I don't want to do this.
• 36:32
  Like this is the part of the fun is going in and just having fun.
• 36:35
  You know what I mean? I I I don't need to go in.
• 36:37
  And yeah, and it did happen to us one time, everybody.
• 36:41
  There was a lot of alcohol involved, and that could be the
• 36:44
  other scary thing. And Eric doesn't drink at all.
• 36:46
  Eric's been sober for. I'm sober sober.
• 36:48
  So I've been sober since 7/25/17, yeah.
• 36:51
  And so he's totally. So I've been sober for 21 years.
• 36:54
  Nice job. Sober and boundaries are being
• 36:56
  crossed. That can be very challenging for
• 37:00
  him because he is witnessing what's going on.
• 37:03
  But you also can't reason with drunk people.
• 37:07
  So I don't drink very much at all.
• 37:10
  And I don't really drink when play.
• 37:12
  Like I might have like one or two sometimes, but I don't
• 37:15
  really drink. Yeah, and.
• 37:17
  When you find people that are nervous lifestyle, you'll find
• 37:19
  that they do drink a lot more because it's very it's you're
• 37:22
  nervous. I mean, when's the last time you
• 37:24
  ever went to an event or a club literally with the intentions
• 37:27
  that we might possibly go fuck somebody?
• 37:28
  Else and you're nervous so you're of course you're like, I
• 37:30
  need a drink. Oh, no.
• 37:32
  Like, I mean, there are still times like we just went to an
• 37:34
  event this past weekend in Arizona and I just got a little
• 37:38
  overwhelmed. There was a lot going on.
• 37:40
  I was like, you know what? I I need a drink.
• 37:42
  I need a drink. So yeah.
• 37:46
  But Eric's really good. It's so great.
• 37:47
  He doesn't care. No, yeah, they become
• 37:50
  overwhelming and stuff like that, but.
• 37:52
  Yeah, if I'm like, if everyone's pretty like toasted and it's
• 37:55
  like midnight, that's when you're just like, OK, everyone's
• 37:58
  pretty drunk, we're over it, we'll leave.
• 38:00
  But. Yeah, yeah.
• 38:02
  So here's, here's the so like, like my wife and I have been
• 38:06
  married for 30 years and the connection and love that we
• 38:08
  have, it's, it's, I mean, our sex life's amazing, all that
• 38:11
  kind of stuff. And I'm not just saying that
• 38:13
  because you're on the show, because we truly, we truly live
• 38:15
  with each other. It's been a honeymoon for entire
• 38:16
  30 years, you know, aside from some rocky points, But so just
• 38:21
  our life in general is fantastic.
• 38:23
  Thank you. So we, I mean, we're real good
• 38:24
  communicators. We never really argue.
• 38:26
  Part of that is because I stopped drinking 21 years ago
• 38:29
  and, and that's made our relationship that much stronger.
• 38:31
  How do you keep that kind of that, that sex kind of with the
• 38:36
  other people out of your life? Like, I don't know if I asked
• 38:38
  that, right. But like, so you have your
• 38:40
  connection that's deeply rooted and bonded and you're secure and
• 38:43
  safe. So then you you go do the full
• 38:45
  thing. So obviously, you know, you're
• 38:48
  not falling in love with them. It's it's more of an adventure.
• 38:51
  It's like a like an extension of the sex life.
• 38:53
  Is there anything that ever gets in your head that kind of fucks
• 38:55
  with that? Like like as far as relationship
• 38:58
  wise or, or does it bleed into your sex life aside from what we
• 39:02
  talked about earlier, like, oh, I remember that, but I should do
• 39:04
  that again. Or is it just you just have the
• 39:07
  ability because the boundaries are in place, just to kind of
• 39:09
  separate that like this is playtime.
• 39:13
  Did I ask that? Why?
• 39:14
  We did a whole podcast, our own podcast about how it can, what
• 39:21
  was that podcast called, where we talked about how it can make
• 39:25
  you, you push the limits kind of what the lifestyle.
• 39:27
  So sometimes it can make doesn't make your own sex life a little
• 39:31
  boring and how you kind of keep your own spice alive because
• 39:37
  again, if you're pushing the limits and doing all these hot
• 39:39
  things or talking about these hot things, but then you're
• 39:42
  having just kind of like your vanilla basic sex with your
• 39:46
  partner. We did do a podcast about that.
• 39:48
  There can be challenges sometimes where you feel like
• 39:52
  you have to kind of be almost like even vocally keep pushing
• 39:55
  the limits. You tend to get yourself.
• 39:58
  Sometimes if you play too much you you get.
• 40:01
  Numb to it almost to a sense and you have to get get more extreme
• 40:05
  and and the fantasies have to get deeper.
• 40:09
  Yeah, like what else can I do? What else?
• 40:11
  Because it's just you almost have trouble and it's like you
• 40:14
  almost have to just kind of step away, reset yourself, let all
• 40:17
  these these levels come down the.
• 40:20
  Dope. Balance back and, and really
• 40:23
  reconnect with your partner on that that level because it can I
• 40:27
  mean, you kind of get swept away sometimes in this lifestyle
• 40:30
  because it's one of those things we all like attention and you're
• 40:33
  getting all this attention and you've had this hot experience
• 40:36
  and you're thinking about it in your head and then you're with
• 40:37
  your partner thinking about this and now let's try this and and
• 40:40
  all of a sudden sex with your partner.
• 40:43
  It's not that it's not enough. It's just it's kind of like if
• 40:46
  you watch porn too much, if you're watching too much porn,
• 40:48
  you're going to have trouble having sex with partner.
• 40:50
  You have to almost reset your friends character where with
• 40:53
  this you kind of. Have to.
• 40:54
  So it's got your souls, right. OK, so that goes back to where
• 40:58
  you guys are typically like once a month or so.
• 41:00
  But even though it's March 20th, you've only had.
• 41:02
  Two adventures we played on a cruise and we played with a
• 41:05
  couple on the cruise, which again, we were on a cruise.
• 41:08
  So we had the intention that was going to happen.
• 41:11
  And then we actually just did this last weekend.
• 41:14
  We didn't go into the weekend with like, oh, we have to.
• 41:16
  It was just kind of like if we meet somebody at the club and it
• 41:19
  happens and it did and it was so fun.
• 41:21
  But again, it's not something even at home that we're really,
• 41:26
  you know, when we I'm on apps at home, I own an app obviously,
• 41:29
  but I we're looking for every weekend we're doing.
• 41:33
  We're kind of just we keep our our home life and our like
• 41:37
  intimate life, like very like important and make sure we're
• 41:41
  focusing on that. We date each other just like
• 41:43
  the, I mean, you know, even when you're monogamist, like make
• 41:45
  sure you're dating each other, make sure you're trying new
• 41:49
  things with each other. Because there's nothing worse
• 41:51
  than when you're in this lifestyle.
• 41:52
  And it's, it's amazing because you get a lot of people that
• 41:54
  don't reach out to you and they're like, it's almost like
• 41:56
  they have to have this. And if they don't have this,
• 41:58
  they have no other hobbies almost together.
• 42:01
  And you know, there's even times with my, my wife that if we get
• 42:04
  too much, you know, cuz we're both ADHD, you can get sucked
• 42:07
  into this. You're it's this hot, you you
• 42:09
  literally the attention you're. Well, then you crash.
• 42:11
  You crash and it's like out of the point that the worst feeling
• 42:14
  in the world is when you're sitting next to your partner and
• 42:16
  you're like, fuck, I actually miss you.
• 42:18
  Yeah, like I miss you. Like, can we go through
• 42:19
  something together? And it's that that almost aha
• 42:22
  moment, like, hey, we've got a little too much here, let's go
• 42:25
  spend time together or well. Then you get the highest on.
• 42:28
  Each other because you. Missed it and you miss like,
• 42:31
  yeah, I don't know. We haven't struggled too much
• 42:33
  with it being an issue. We just know that like we've had
• 42:38
  the conversations about how we can see sometimes if you get
• 42:40
  like, yeah, kind of on a high. But I don't think it's really
• 42:44
  affected our personal sex life, like in a negative way.
• 42:48
  If anything, more like, Oh my God, from what we did that last
• 42:50
  weekend, it was so you could like talk about, there's a lot
• 42:53
  of pillow talk and like talk about it.
• 42:55
  OK, OK. Has anybody ever caught feelings
• 42:57
  for you guys while in the dynamic?
• 43:00
  Well, obviously I'm just kidding.
• 43:02
  I don't. They all love is.
• 43:06
  Is you don't really go into it like like to catch feelings,
• 43:11
  like you have to hit like different levels.
• 43:12
  Sex to me isn't isn't love like sex is sex.
• 43:15
  It's fun, it's enjoyable, you know what I mean?
• 43:17
  And that's why, I mean, if you're in Group chats and you're
• 43:19
  spending a lot of time communicating, This is why Eric
• 43:23
  and I only do group chats. I'm not just communicating with
• 43:25
  a bunch of men without Eric. He's not communicating with a
• 43:28
  bunch of without me. You're not giving your like,
• 43:32
  yeah, we have group chats and we'll talk to couples and stuff,
• 43:34
  but it's not like a everyday. You're not giving these people
• 43:37
  your like emotions. And yeah, we have some that have
• 43:40
  become very, very good friends, but not something Eric and I
• 43:45
  don't like a lot of people. And we're very much on the same
• 43:49
  page with a lot of things, like, like, one of the things that
• 43:51
  will drive us. Yeah.
• 43:55
  Like, like, it's funny because, again, everybody gets in this
• 43:57
  lifestyle for different reasons. And not everybody's the same as
• 44:00
  us. And our way isn't necessarily
• 44:01
  the right way. But we're 100% pretty much.
• 44:04
  I would have to say, like, the same when it comes to stuff like
• 44:06
  this. Like if a girl texted me outside
• 44:08
  our group chat and she was like, hey, good morning, handsome.
• 44:11
  And sent me some casual picture of her like topless in bed
• 44:14
  little selfie just to me. Oh, that's going to piss her the
• 44:17
  fuck off. Oh.
• 44:18
  That's crossed. And with me, it's actually going
• 44:21
  to piss me off because I'm like, we're not, this is something you
• 44:24
  do when you're dating. This is something you do don't.
• 44:26
  No, I can see that we're done. Like my wife is getting shown
• 44:29
  this. We're out.
• 44:31
  You guys fix whatever's going on.
• 44:32
  And if that's how you have to be in this lifestyle, then we're
• 44:35
  also not the right vibe for it, which is OK, you know what I
• 44:38
  mean? Yeah, and I would say people
• 44:40
  like, oh, well, it happened. What if a girl starts doing that
• 44:42
  to him and Eric starts talking to him?
• 44:44
  Eric is going to do that whether we're monogamous or not, if he
• 44:48
  wants to. I can't tell Eric not to talk to
• 44:51
  women. He will regardless if he wants
• 44:54
  to. And so I'm confident enough, I
• 44:56
  think in our relationship and myself that if Eric's going to
• 44:59
  go start talking to other women behind because people are like,
• 45:01
  what if he leaves you? I'm like, well, then he leaves
• 45:03
  by he would leave me regardless. I don't know.
• 45:07
  You have to be such a confident person with yourself.
• 45:09
  Lifestyle is not. I've also we've learned this a
• 45:11
  lot over the years. The lifestyle is not just a
• 45:14
  journey together. It is an extremely personal
• 45:18
  journey of growth. You learn a lot about yourself
• 45:22
  and confidence and things you'll tolerate and just it takes a
• 45:27
  lot. You do a lot of intern because
• 45:29
  you'll have jealousy issues come up, you'll have relationship
• 45:31
  issues and you do a lot of like personal growth as well.
• 45:34
  And, and you learn, I mean, and that's where you, you become
• 45:37
  closer as a couple. You really learn to about
• 45:40
  yourself, but you also Start learning how to communicate like
• 45:42
  I'm, I'm the worst at it. Like when I'm talking, I'll,
• 45:45
  I'll want to explain to her how I'm feeling.
• 45:47
  And I'll end up using, I'll be like, well, you did well also.
• 45:50
  Now use the word you. And now I'm attacking her, which
• 45:52
  isn't, you know what I mean? So you start to you start to
• 45:55
  really, you learn like, OK, how do I communicate my feelings?
• 45:59
  And I never learned that in any of my other relationships ever.
• 46:02
  You know what? I.
• 46:02
  Mean you hit a lot and there's so many people that hide things
• 46:05
  from their partners or hide their sexual desires.
• 46:08
  They hide things they're thinking about.
• 46:10
  And again, just the more you're like being so open with all
• 46:12
  these things that it's it's the most like normal healthy
• 46:16
  relationship I've ever been in because I don't feel like I have
• 46:19
  to hide it. That's awesome.
• 46:20
  Yeah, there's nothing. I couldn't come to my wife and
• 46:22
  be like, hey, I want to try this.
• 46:23
  That she would look at me and be like, oh, that's gross or I
• 46:25
  don't want to do that. Well, depending on what?
• 46:28
  Depending on what we we. We I have.
• 46:31
  Some value we we have, you know, there are a few things, but but
• 46:34
  a majority of the things, you know, you're like, oh, OK, well,
• 46:36
  like, hey, maybe we talk more about this and maybe talk about
• 46:39
  maybe exploring it or whatever where in a monogamous
• 46:42
  relationship, you're just like, you're afraid to sometimes just
• 46:45
  go to your partner and want to switch it up or whatever.
• 46:48
  Yeah. Like, I have friends that have
• 46:49
  like, have horrible communication with their
• 46:51
  partners. And I have friends that have
• 46:52
  even, like, had sex toys and had to hide those from their partner
• 46:56
  because they were afraid their husbands would get jealous or
• 46:58
  upset that they had like, a sex toy.
• 47:00
  And I'm just like what? Well, I think that's the norm.
• 47:04
  Yeah. That's what's so odd about this
• 47:06
  whole conversation for most people is that's the norm.
• 47:09
  Yeah, And you know, or they open up like, oh, I want to try a
• 47:12
  different position or I want. And it's just like, you can't
• 47:16
  say that to your. And I'm not saying this is
• 47:19
  definitely stuff that I've learned over the years.
• 47:20
  I mean, I've been in relationships that I haven't
• 47:22
  been, I mean, I've been in horrible sexual relationships.
• 47:26
  I mean, you were, you've been in something that you felt like you
• 47:29
  had to like. Yeah, I've been in well.
• 47:31
  Eric cheated on his ex. Where, you know, I, I, you just
• 47:36
  don't. You get to the point where you
• 47:37
  almost don't vocalize what you want, you know, and and it's
• 47:41
  amazing when you really reflect back at like past relationships
• 47:44
  eventually and you're like, wow, it was even those relationships.
• 47:47
  And maybe you blame the other person.
• 47:48
  You really realize after being in this lifestyle how bad your
• 47:50
  communication is. Yeah, you, you and and like how
• 47:54
  bad you are at being. OK, Gosh, yeah.
• 47:57
  You have any questions, Mike? I've been, I've been kind of
• 48:00
  hoarding all the questions because, you know, it just keeps
• 48:02
  giving me things to ask. OK, we'll.
• 48:06
  Just keep. Talking too, we're like.
• 48:10
  I just, I, I think that that's the key is that lifestyle is not
• 48:14
  going to be for everyone, obviously, but you guys, your
• 48:19
  guys's message of communication is what people should take away
• 48:22
  from it is very few people talk about what happens behind closed
• 48:26
  doors even be amongst themselves.
• 48:29
  Yeah, yeah. And you, you also you, you
• 48:32
  become so narrow minded of just your relationship and forget
• 48:35
  what reality is almost out there.
• 48:36
  Yeah, and you know, some of the DMS and stuff that we get even
• 48:40
  just shock me. Yeah, and.
• 48:42
  I'm just like this message that my husband did this, my partner
• 48:45
  did this behind my back and I'm just like, call your lawyer,
• 48:48
  man. I'm like, I like I just don't
• 48:49
  have. I just don't, I feel.
• 48:51
  All the right. I am a very 0 tolerance for like
• 48:55
  bullshit and drama. And I think you kind of have to
• 48:57
  have that mentality. And people do ask us a lot.
• 49:00
  What if one of you wanted to quit?
• 49:01
  Or what if this just ended tomorrow?
• 49:04
  And I'm like, OK, like I have a business.
• 49:05
  And so of course I think I'll obviously be a little bit like
• 49:08
  involved in the world. And again, for me also like in
• 49:11
  girls, I think if Eric was like, I don't want to do this anymore,
• 49:14
  I would be a little sad. Like I, I wouldn't really, I
• 49:18
  don't know if I could give up women just sometimes, but like
• 49:24
  even like men, like I don't, I sometimes, like I said, I could
• 49:27
  take it or leave it. It's more it's just to me, it's
• 49:29
  more like the the experience as a school.
• 49:33
  It's not. So I didn't say.
• 49:35
  Personally, it's not like the sex is my favorite part of the
• 49:37
  whole thing. It's like the fun flirting and
• 49:41
  meeting new people and like you find someone's telling you
• 49:44
  you're beautiful and so you know you're getting that kind of like
• 49:48
  again, dopamine or. Like that.
• 49:52
  Yeah. So so there's, there's there's
• 49:53
  other question like you, obviously you, you both are
• 49:55
  super attracted to one other. You find each other sexy and
• 49:57
  gorgeous and beautiful and handsome, all that kind of jazz.
• 49:59
  So when you have somebody outside of you 2 that that you
• 50:04
  know, they're they're lack of better term, their eye fucking
• 50:07
  you or and they're, they're casually touching you and
• 50:09
  they're flirting with you. That has to be kind of a rush as
• 50:12
  well. Because then because like I can
• 50:15
  tell my wife all day long, she's gorgeous, she's beautiful and
• 50:17
  all that kind of jazz. And a couple months ago, we were
• 50:19
  at A at a friend's birthday party in this.
• 50:21
  We were playing pool and this guy just walk straight up to her
• 50:23
  and and you know, oh, you're cutest, whatever, or you're hot
• 50:26
  or something like that, which which part of me was like
• 50:30
  motherfucker. But the other part of me is
• 50:31
  like, well, yeah, she is hot. She's and.
• 50:34
  Like you tell her she's orange, that I want her to feed.
• 50:36
  Yeah. Right, right.
• 50:37
  So Eric also says that from that, Yeah.
• 50:40
  So that's part of go ahead. No, it hits differently.
• 50:44
  I mean, it's I can tell her all the time.
• 50:45
  It's just I'm annoyed with it sometimes where I'm just like,
• 50:48
  Oh, you're hot and you're beautiful and you know, you shut
• 50:50
  up and you see those reels out there and stuff where you know,
• 50:52
  the wife's in in like pajamas or whatever and and face mask on
• 50:57
  and the husband's like, Oh, you're hot.
• 50:58
  You know, that is me. I like, but when somebody else
• 51:02
  does it to her, it's like, oh, it's not, it's not expected like
• 51:06
  it is from your partner. Same with me.
• 51:07
  When a girl like whispers in my ear that she's excited about
• 51:10
  this or or that she's really turned on, it hits different
• 51:14
  because my wife's close to stay this and now I have somebody I
• 51:17
  don't really know really excited about this like well.
• 51:19
  And then it kind of reminds you even like, of course there's a
• 51:21
  little bit of jealousy that you're like, don't look at my
• 51:23
  man. But like also, yeah, I
• 51:25
  appreciate him. You're welcome.
• 51:26
  You know, type of like like I'll share, but he's.
• 51:29
  Still fine at the. Day.
• 51:31
  Like there's, but if you're all making in the same room, you
• 51:33
  kind of have to. That comes with it though.
• 51:37
  You want someone to find your partner hot and you're like,
• 51:39
  yeah, I know, but he's mine, Don't, don't.
• 51:41
  Look, but if it's, if it's in the dynamic of, if it's in the
• 51:44
  dynamic of of date night with another couple, you that's to be
• 51:47
  expected because you you expect. Yeah or yeah.
• 51:50
  The the the female to be attracted to Eric and you expect
• 51:53
  them, right, Right. Yeah, yeah.
• 51:55
  I I like it, but I was just like in the vanilla world or like
• 51:59
  somebody who was monogamous, like a single girl, not in the
• 52:02
  lifestyle tells like Eric will be on like a a lie on his
• 52:06
  TikTok, not his lifestyle one his other platform, you know, so
• 52:09
  he'll be like, oh, you have pretty eyes, not be like, bitch,
• 52:11
  don't talk to him. No, people.
• 52:15
  Be like, oh, are you single? And she's like, no, not.
• 52:18
  I'll even be like, I'm not. I'll be like, don't talk to him,
• 52:20
  don't look at him. But if it's in like a lifestyle
• 52:22
  setting and I'm like, it's just, it's so funny how your mentality
• 52:25
  will change. I'm like, don't flirt with him
• 52:27
  unless I said you can like, yeah, it's a it's there's
• 52:31
  definitely that like little bit of like possession that you
• 52:34
  have, which makes it kind of fun.
• 52:36
  And then you're like, you are. And almost like then you're
• 52:38
  like, oh, I'm reminded and you're like, yeah, people do
• 52:40
  find you hot. Guess you are.
• 52:42
  Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, that's, I
• 52:45
  think that's the whole point, right?
• 52:46
  You, you, you, you guys are hot and you're having, you're having
• 52:49
  naked fun with other hot people and, and they're on the same
• 52:52
  page and and it's an adventure you're sharing, which again, is
• 52:55
  just part of your life story. And you're all adults and
• 52:59
  nobody's getting hurt, nobody's getting killed.
• 53:03
  I could see that. Yeah, it's very hard.
• 53:06
  You definitely. Struggle.
• 53:07
  With. Yeah.
• 53:10
  It's hard. It's you have the right to be
• 53:12
  picky and that's the other thing that people are are are a huge
• 53:16
  misconception that everybody's doing everybody in this
• 53:18
  lifestyle now everybody's picky as fuck Yeah.
• 53:22
  And well, not everybody, yeah, not everybody, but but even like
• 53:26
  with us, like we're we're we're picky and we have the right to
• 53:28
  be picky. I don't want to.
• 53:30
  It's amazing how you'll you'll see some people they're like,
• 53:32
  well, they really like you find you attractive.
• 53:34
  You should. I shouldn't.
• 53:35
  Shit, Yeah. We've had, we made a whole post
• 53:38
  the other day about someone said, oh, if someone's you're
• 53:41
  not attracted to somebody, I'm like, well, then I'm not going
• 53:42
  to do it. I mean, yeah, I want to get to
• 53:44
  know somebody a little bit and I and you know, personality can
• 53:47
  make attraction grow, but I'm not physically attracted to
• 53:51
  somebody. Like I'm sorry.
• 53:53
  And somebody said, oh, are you guys so shallow you won't get to
• 53:55
  know people? And I was like, I don't think
• 53:58
  being picky about wanting to only sleep with people that
• 54:01
  you're physically attracted to isn't shallow.
• 54:04
  You're right. And and so I mean it, it is,
• 54:06
  it's one of those that. I mean it.
• 54:08
  You you have the right to be picky and, and, and you know
• 54:12
  people are afraid of rejection. Well, you don't have to be
• 54:15
  asshole about rejecting people. No, no, But you're picky because
• 54:21
  you found each other. So you both had a certain type
• 54:23
  you liked, right? This has a certain type that
• 54:25
  you're attracted to. So obviously on the path of you
• 54:28
  finding each other. Yeah, You were turning down
• 54:30
  people along that path because again.
• 54:33
  Yeah, you. Have the right to be picky.
• 54:34
  You're bringing somebody into your most intimate part of your
• 54:36
  world, right? You're bringing somebody into
• 54:38
  the most intimate part of your life, so why not be picky?
• 54:41
  And you don't owe, and I think so many people when they're new,
• 54:45
  you do not people like, oh, I get all these messages or people
• 54:48
  reach out. You don't owe anybody shit.
• 54:51
  Like I'm a very kind person. I'll talk to people and I'm not
• 54:53
  saying I'm going to be rude, but I do not owe anybody a
• 54:57
  conversation. My body.
• 54:59
  I don't owe you anything unless it's like a hell fucking yeah.
• 55:03
  This is going to be super fun. We don't.
• 55:05
  I don't have to share any part of myself with you.
• 55:11
  Right. See, if if Captain Jack showed
• 55:12
  up my front door right now, then you know, my yeah, yeah, if
• 55:16
  Captain Jack showed up my front door right now and my wife would
• 55:18
  be all game, you know, because it's Captain Jack Sparrow,
• 55:21
  right? But if Johnny Depp showed up,
• 55:24
  she's like, yeah, I don't think so.
• 55:26
  Yeah, and that's Eric always like I'm.
• 55:28
  Not gonna do something. That's not like a fair trade
• 55:30
  like. Yeah, I don't want to do
• 55:32
  something to get done with this, that I did it.
• 55:35
  That's not the whole point of this lifestyle.
• 55:36
  You know, I want to get done with it and be like, OK, that is
• 55:38
  hot. Yeah, yeah, like this is just
• 55:40
  supposed to be hot fun and not like we don't need a body count.
• 55:43
  Eric and I have been single. We've slept around, We've done,
• 55:47
  you know, we had fun in our in college, in college, in our
• 55:49
  younger years. We're not like just trying to
• 55:52
  get a body count, which some people in the way Sal are.
• 55:54
  Yeah. Stuff which is fine.
• 55:56
  Yes, but it's definitely like and you'll find different
• 55:59
  dynamics, but we definitely don't feel like it's been, it's
• 56:03
  not for us. It's not that way, but there are
• 56:05
  people, again, who have been married since together since
• 56:08
  high school, have never been with anybody else.
• 56:11
  We need, you know, people like that and they're really wanting
• 56:14
  to kind of explore new things, which is great for them.
• 56:19
  But they'll sometimes you'll see people just have a little bit,
• 56:23
  they'll just go a little crazy. Yeah, I can see.
• 56:28
  That we meet a lot of. Oh, we'll save that for another
• 56:35
  show, no? No, I just found the whole
• 56:40
  thing. Fascinating.
• 56:41
  I really do. OK, OK, So impulsiveduo.com is
• 56:45
  where you? Find it.
• 56:46
  And if you don't, it doesn't make sense.
• 56:48
  And I think things that don't make sense can become very
• 56:50
  fascinating. And then when you hear this
• 56:52
  logical standpoint that is almost more about connection
• 56:55
  with your partner than it is sex with others, it almost makes it
• 56:58
  more confused. Yeah.
• 56:59
  And they're like, wait, that's. Actually, not that weird.
• 57:01
  Absolutely. You're like, that actually
• 57:04
  sounds fun. Maybe we turned people swingers.
• 57:07
  That's our goal, is to turn. Or just make them talk about
• 57:13
  what happens behind closed doors, you know, have those
• 57:16
  conversations. Right.
• 57:17
  So one thing you said in the beginning of the show, which,
• 57:20
  which one thing you said beginning show, which I was
• 57:22
  fascinated by because Mike and I have talked about divorce rates
• 57:24
  before. You know, the average couple is
• 57:27
  married three to five years. And so they, we had, we had
• 57:30
  Steph Conger. I don't know if you know who she
• 57:32
  is, but she's a sex therapist, super cool lady.
• 57:35
  And when you hit that three-year mark from newlyweds and all of a
• 57:37
  sudden the, the, the newness is gone.
• 57:40
  So then they spend the next two years trying to find that
• 57:42
  newness again. They can't find that newness.
• 57:44
  So they just fight and argue and blah, blah, blah.
• 57:45
  And then all of a sudden that's the divorce.
• 57:47
  And so you have, you know, female couples that get married
• 57:51
  have the highest divorce rate in the country, which is ironic.
• 57:54
  Then you have the couples, the male female couples have their
• 57:56
  divorce rate. But you've made reference that
• 57:59
  that people in this lifestyle, the divorce rates a lot smaller
• 58:03
  than it is. And that goes back to, I think
• 58:05
  everything we talked about the communication and sharing and
• 58:08
  openness and being vulnerable and, and, you know, breaking,
• 58:13
  breaking down those, those taboo barriers that society has thrown
• 58:17
  upon us our entire lives, Right. So in your experience in doing
• 58:21
  this, and you weren't across, when you weren't across couples
• 58:24
  like yourself, it is, are they all just, it's, I know I can't
• 58:27
  say all, but I'm in the majorium like happy, healthy, really
• 58:30
  strong relationships, you know, grounded and in love And, and
• 58:33
  this is just an extension of fun.
• 58:34
  Is that a good way to ask that question?
• 58:38
  Some are, some are, I mean, when you when you meet a volume of
• 58:41
  people, the people who have been in this lifestyle for a while
• 58:43
  and like we have really good experiences because one of the
• 58:46
  things we look for is how does this couple interact with each
• 58:48
  other? How are they towards each?
• 58:50
  Other they have to be in love with each other.
• 58:51
  They have. I don't want a man after me.
• 58:54
  He has to also be very like, is my wife beautiful?
• 58:57
  Isn't my wife wonderful like very into each other as well.
• 59:01
  That's cool. Huge green flag.
• 59:04
  Yeah, but you do see a lot of couples that are in this to try
• 59:06
  and fix their, their marriage or, you know, for whatever
• 59:10
  reason, and you can just tell the red flags because they're
• 59:12
  not on the same page when you're talking to them.
• 59:14
  Their their views are very different of the life.
• 59:16
  And you're like, dude, you guys have like you obviously need to
• 59:19
  just go sit in a room and discuss what you guys want.
• 59:24
  Yeah, maybe therapy. Yeah, we definitely run in a
• 59:26
  few. Gotcha, gotcha.
• 59:27
  Yeah, this is not a lifestyle for you.
• 59:29
  People will ask, you know, have you had play experiences?
• 59:31
  Because this is, this does happen, you know, play
• 59:33
  experience where a fight breaks out or a couple starts, you
• 59:36
  know, having issues in the middle of playing with each
• 59:38
  other. And we're like, no, this doesn't
• 59:40
  happen with us because we're really good about who we connect
• 59:44
  with. Yeah, I mean, we take some time
• 59:46
  to like to get to know people and even like, for example, I
• 59:49
  mean, I'll be honest, we played with a couple this weekend and
• 59:52
  they're they've been to some clubs and they've kind of been
• 59:54
  dabbling in the lifestyle. But there was their first time
• 59:57
  like full swapping and they're called newbies.
• 1:00:01
  People call them newbies and they're like, how do people who
• 1:00:04
  have experience feel about playing with people who are new?
• 1:00:08
  Because I'm like, you don't know how you're going to feel about.
• 1:00:11
  You might think the lifestyle sounds super great and hot, but.
• 1:00:14
  Until you see your. Partner with somebody else, you
• 1:00:17
  don't know how you're going to feel.
• 1:00:19
  And so I think as long as there is, you can tell if a couple is
• 1:00:23
  communicating with each other and they're ready and they're,
• 1:00:27
  you know, they've discussed it all and they're really open
• 1:00:29
  about their boundaries. I don't you can kind of tell,
• 1:00:32
  but we've definitely met some couples who there's a lot of
• 1:00:34
  sneakiness going on and not you can just tell they're not.
• 1:00:38
  Yeah, that's. Not good.
• 1:00:39
  It's like, why are you? Doing this so the so the couple
• 1:00:44
  that you would connect with would be would be kind of mirror
• 1:00:46
  your image like they're very much in love.
• 1:00:48
  They they know their boundaries. They understand why they're
• 1:00:50
  there what they're what they're there for.
• 1:00:52
  If anything does happen and where it happens and how it
• 1:00:54
  happens, you you see that love it's like a mirror.
• 1:00:58
  So you, you, you, you love the fact they're in love just as
• 1:01:00
  much as they should love the fact that you're in love and
• 1:01:03
  this is just an adventure for loving people are going to
• 1:01:06
  share. Yeah, I don't.
• 1:01:07
  Want to? That's a guy who is more into me
• 1:01:10
  than he is into his wife. That makes me uncomfortable.
• 1:01:12
  That makes me uncomfortable for her, Eric.
• 1:01:14
  That makes me. That totally makes.
• 1:01:16
  Sense that's like weird. And then even vice versa, I
• 1:01:18
  mean, there's nothing worse than where you're playing with the
• 1:01:20
  wife and she's all into it. And then you realize that the
• 1:01:23
  husband's not into it. You're like, oh, no, Because
• 1:01:26
  even as a guy that makes you awkward, you're like, this is
• 1:01:28
  supposed to be fun for all of us, you know?
• 1:01:30
  Right. Yeah, that would be super.
• 1:01:32
  Awkward. That would be awkward, yeah.
• 1:01:34
  We've definitely met some couples or like the guy will
• 1:01:37
  just start sending like me a bunch of pictures or like like
• 1:01:41
  when we were in one group chat and one guy's like, oh, I can't
• 1:01:43
  wait to do all this stuff to you.
• 1:01:44
  Candace and Eric was like, OK, bro, like my wife doesn't need
• 1:01:48
  all your Dick pics. And like it was just like, it's
• 1:01:50
  just like a red eternal off. It's like, and also there's a
• 1:01:53
  lot of people who are really like, of course, this is about
• 1:01:58
  sex. That's what the lifestyle is.
• 1:02:01
  But when it's like every single conversation is like immature
• 1:02:04
  sexual innuendos and let me see your titties like Teddy Tuesday.
• 1:02:10
  Like that's just, I'm like, I'm 40 like.
• 1:02:14
  Right. We're not in high school anymore
• 1:02:15
  or junior high. Like, let's go, let's move on.
• 1:02:19
  And we run into that a lot. Maybe ex.
• 1:02:23
  Well, maturity is sexy, you know.
• 1:02:25
  But you know, maturity is sexy. Right.
• 1:02:27
  So you just like you're the wise.
• 1:02:29
  And some people might like that, yeah, and they might.
• 1:02:31
  But we call you call it a vibe check.
• 1:02:33
  Like if you're not on the safe level and you're.
• 1:02:35
  Not fighting with the people. Then it's enough.
• 1:02:39
  Live check. All right, cool.
• 1:02:40
  So impulse, the impulsiveduo.com is where you find you guys, Eric
• 1:02:44
  and Candace. They're super cool people.
• 1:02:45
  You can also find them on on Facebook and and TikTok and
• 1:02:48
  Instagram. And are you on Twitter?
• 1:02:50
  Everything's the impulsive duo. Unicorn landing.
• 1:02:52
  Unicorn landing You have a Unicorn.
• 1:02:56
  I collect Unicorn things. You have a Can't tell.
• 1:03:00
  Yeah, I see that. So Unicorn Landing is an app.
• 1:03:03
  It's all about. I promise.
• 1:03:04
  Right, no Unicorn Landing is an app that help.
• 1:03:10
  Oh, I bet because there's lots of unicorns.
• 1:03:11
  So Unicorn landing is an app that's that's for women by
• 1:03:13
  women, powered by women. We lost them.
• 1:03:16
  They'll come right back there they are.
• 1:03:17
  So that's a good app. If you want to check this
• 1:03:19
  lifestyle. I'll go go Unicorn landing on
• 1:03:21
  the on all the app stores and again, impulsiveduo.com.
• 1:03:24
  They will mentor you and they have a podcast.
• 1:03:27
  They have all kinds of things to do on social media.
• 1:03:28
  It's how I stumbled across them and just came up on a feed one
• 1:03:30
  day and I was instantly hooked just because the dynamic of the
• 1:03:34
  conversation, what you share and you know, I'm just, I just
• 1:03:39
  thought it was fascinating, which is why you're here now,
• 1:03:40
  which is fantastic. So go find out, go follow them
• 1:03:44
  on our social medias and things like that.
• 1:03:45
  Go check out their podcast. You know, you'll learn you'll
• 1:03:48
  more. What I've got the most out of
• 1:03:50
  this thing is it's not just about sex is about the
• 1:03:52
  connection, it's about adventure.
• 1:03:54
  It's about understanding your spouse and the communication and
• 1:03:56
  the boundaries that you set. And it's just.
• 1:03:58
  And that's why we call it a lifestyle.
• 1:04:00
  With it or not? Yeah, it's kind of, we call it a
• 1:04:02
  lifestyle like a lifestyle that you like.
• 1:04:05
  It's more than just, like, more than just swingers.
• 1:04:09
  It's like, yeah. And we need people that just go
• 1:04:11
  to clubs just for the events, you know, and they don't even do
• 1:04:13
  anything with other people. That's why, you know, there's an
• 1:04:16
  app out there too that we, we do a lot with called upside down
• 1:04:19
  network. That is all the lifestyle events
• 1:04:21
  out there. So if you travel or if you want
• 1:04:24
  cruises, because it's one of the best things to do is, you know,
• 1:04:27
  when you travel to try and find what's going on is hard.
• 1:04:30
  So if you have an app that tells you that's awesome, but also
• 1:04:33
  like the best learning you're ever going to have is going to a
• 1:04:35
  swinger lifestyle club, not playing with anyone, just seeing
• 1:04:39
  what happens. It's amazing.
• 1:04:40
  It's not with. How you feel in the environment?
• 1:04:42
  You don't have to play. Yeah, you guys should go to 1.
• 1:04:46
  You should go to one. People watch.
• 1:04:47
  You don't have to touch anyone. Yeah, just.
• 1:04:49
  That's just a really fun experience.
• 1:04:51
  Yeah. People are really friendly.
• 1:04:52
  Yeah. And just because they're
• 1:04:53
  friendly doesn't mean they want to fuck you.
• 1:04:54
  Yeah, just people. They mind.
• 1:04:56
  They mind, but it doesn't necessarily.
• 1:04:57
  Mean OK, so so so people watching at its finest.
• 1:05:02
  That's awesome. All right, well, for the
• 1:05:04
  Christian Mike Strong Chris, he's Mike again.
• 1:05:06
  This is the pineapple the pineapple professor slash
• 1:05:08
  impulsive duo. Find them impulsiveduo.com.
• 1:05:11
  If you are thinking about suicide or depressed or or just
• 1:05:15
  not in the right mindset, don't do anything drastic that's going
• 1:05:18
  to change somebody else's life and leave a hole in their heart.
• 1:05:20
  Go outside and run. Go journal, go scream in a
• 1:05:22
  pillow. Go workout.
• 1:05:23
  Go find somebody to talk to. If you can't find somebody to
• 1:05:26
  talk to, text 988. Somebody's there to help talk
• 1:05:28
  you off the Cliff and make sure you're around tomorrow because
• 1:05:30
  tomorrow is a better day with you in it.
• 1:05:32
  With that being said, I'm Chris, he's Michael.
• 1:05:34
  Love you, brother. Thank you so much, Eric and
• 1:05:36
  Candace for coming on the show. You guys were fantastic.
• 1:05:39
  Thank you anything. You want to come back on and
• 1:05:41
  share, share adventures and things like that.
• 1:05:42
  We're more than welcome. You're more than welcome to come
• 1:05:44
  back and and have another conversation with it because you
• 1:05:47
  guys have been great. It's like, you know?
• 1:05:48
  So, so why do you I, I'm really curious.
• 1:05:50
  I know that this is a part of the you guys is a part of the
• 1:05:53
  podcast. Now, OK, are we done?
• 1:05:55
  Are. We OK, OK, we're still we're
• 1:05:58
  still alive. We can stop I.
• 1:06:00
  Was going to ask you some questions on suicide stuff
• 1:06:03
  because I'm always, I'm always a little intrigued.
• 1:06:05
  With OK, go ahead. No go.
• 1:06:06
  Ahead, something up like that. I, we had our drummer kill
• 1:06:11
  myself. Well, that's where that's where
• 1:06:15
  our drummer killed himself years ago.
• 1:06:17
  I had a, a friend of mine about a year ago kill himself.
• 1:06:21
  It's it's one of those things that that I kind of think, and
• 1:06:26
  I'm thinking Mike's on the same page.
• 1:06:27
  Suicide as a carriage way out. There's there's you don't if you
• 1:06:32
  if you don't talk, you can't solve the problem.
• 1:06:34
  So by, you know, hiding your, your, your concerns and not, not
• 1:06:40
  not talking about what you struggles with.
• 1:06:42
  It's just to me, it sucks because you do you truly live a
• 1:06:45
  hole in someone That's as hard. Our our drummer left three kids
• 1:06:47
  behind, you know, and they have to go their entire life without
• 1:06:50
  a father because he decided to take his own life because he was
• 1:06:52
  struggling. So which is something we.
• 1:06:55
  Suffer the people that are left behind for sure.
• 1:06:57
  Yeah, the, the reason it started in the show like that was, was
• 1:07:00
  an Amish just was an Amish to Scott.
• 1:07:04
  OK. Oh, there you go.
• 1:07:06
  That's awesome. So, yeah.
• 1:07:07
  So we, yeah, we did it as a yeah, we did it.
• 1:07:10
  We do it as a, as a, as, as just because it affected Mike and I's
• 1:07:13
  band and, and it's, it's something that we knew and we,
• 1:07:16
  oh, I love that when you're in a band.
• 1:07:18
  Well, we can. Finish the conversation.
• 1:07:20
  After, but Eric can tell you about his other yeah, his other
• 1:07:23
  stuff. Yeah, but when you when you.
• 1:07:24
  Yeah, but when it's when when you're in a band, it's it's like
• 1:07:28
  a marriage, but you're married to everybody in the band.
• 1:07:30
  And the time you Sharon stage, you never get back, right.
• 1:07:35
  So that connection is deeper than it's there till the day you
• 1:07:38
  die. Like you could walk up to
• 1:07:40
  somebody that you haven't you haven't seen in 30 years, but
• 1:07:42
  you're in a band together in your instant, you know, because
• 1:07:44
  you shared time on stage and you shared time in front of people
• 1:07:47
  and making music and making joy. And so that's how that all
• 1:07:52
  evolved. That's how it all started.
• 1:07:53
  So. No, that's great.
• 1:07:56
  You can send us. We can.
• 1:07:58
  Wait till we're off the air. I mean, we can talk on the air
• 1:08:00
  too, but. Yeah, because most people don't
• 1:08:02
  like. The place where you will go
• 1:08:15
  behind your eyes. Take a moment.
• 1:08:38
  Yeah, fight the battle. That's too far.
• 1:08:40
  As we are. Fight the battle, but too far.
• 1:08:44
  Queer. Who is his baby to your feet?
• 1:08:53
  Oh, yeah. Oh, this is too young.
• 1:09:59
  Come down here, you haven't found out.
• 1:10:11
  It'll see your sands from fighting.
• 1:10:16
  Wait for the dead. We.
• 1:10:19
  Can exposure out here? For the wind you ain't no
• 1:10:23
  creature we're playing. Found you took your grin on the
• 1:10:29
  almighty man. You got a dream.
• 1:10:33
  Who in your life to keep our soul in every man?
• 1:10:40
  Take the trail behind your eyes. Feel the soul evolution now.
• 1:10:46
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:10:56
  Take a moment. Look at you.
• 1:10:59
  See it? Fight the bail into your mouth.
• 1:11:03
  Clear. You
• 1:11:22
  gotta, You gotta. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta.