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Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hoping and we talk back where we encourage you to
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: hustle hard, laugh, laughter, and always keep it cute. So
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: grab your coffee, cocktail and crown because it's about to
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: go down.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: talks back.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? Let's your girl? A j holiday? What's up? Team? Damn?
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: But you ain't know who you was?
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Just now, I ain't.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out, like how we starting? Okay? Whatever,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: what's up y'all? Hey y'all, I love y'all. What's again
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: this week?
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I love y'all. And I appreciate y'all so much for
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: voting for my new.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Niggah who they voted for. So I didn't see. I
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: didn't even look.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: I haven't done all the tally because I want to
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: give it a little bit more time because people are
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: still listening to the episode. But so far, Willie is
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: in the lead, but just by a hair, just by
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: a hair, yes, just my hair. Willy's in the league,
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: so it's between him and Jordan. We didn't have a
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: single vote.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Put it on the post the pole.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I thought about it. I didn't put
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: a pole I just had them put who they wanted
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: and why, and I just went through counting.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: No, that is too much to do.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Wait a minute, do you think we should go back
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: and add a pole?
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to see if you can add it, because
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: what that is too much to do?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's what I teople doing counting everybody's opinion,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: because listen, a lot of people was like both, and
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: I'm like, come on, you got to say you got
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: to pick one, not both, so to count you.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you cannot add a pole after creation.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm, I mean you don't it don't hurt the
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: go ahead, girl, I'll be kind of listen, I can
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: count money and.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Who y'all vote for money and niggas?
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Yep, So thank y'all for participating in For the Love
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: of Tama.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: All right, Willie, I like that.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like we should do around two a face
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: off between Jordans and Willie. Oh, that would be nice,
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: and just have both of them on the line at
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: the same time, just.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Both I'm lying at the same time. A live performative, right,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: tap dance, nigga tap dance? How was your weekend? It
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: was a good girl. I ain't do much and nothing.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: What the fuck did I do this weekend? I feel
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: like I did something this weekend. Well, it was Valentines, right,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So it was Valentines, bitch. Okay, I'm geechee, but I
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: know English. Okay, Okay, I know it's not Valentine's right
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: In case, y'all niggas didn't know it's Valentines, So we
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: ain't do much for actual Valentine's On Friday, we cooked
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: at the house and put the projector up on the
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: wall in the bedroom because I won't let that nigga
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: put a TV.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Up, so y'all watch, y'all watched the movie or y'all want.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Just watch a movie. That's all we do. Yep. And
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I got the regular stuff, flowers, balloons, that stuff.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: A lot of people watched their They stayed home for
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. They didn't go out. I noticed that. So
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: for my Valentine's Day, I worked until like eight pm,
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: and then I stayed because you know, I'm living in
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: New York now, so in Charlotte, I just be staying
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: with friends all the time while I'm there. So I
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: was gonna give me a hotel room that night because
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I just didn't want to, like go to nobody's house,
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: like especially anybody who got a hood been our nigga,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: like they doing their romance thing. But my friend Shame
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: was like, girl, come over here. I've been married eleven years,
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Like nothing going on, ye ain't shit. So I still
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: she had they had a private chef come over, and
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I waited, so I stayed at I just stayed at
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: the shop till like ten o'clock, and then she called
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: me like where the fuck are you. I'm like, oh,
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I'm on my way. I just never wanted to wait.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: So when I got to her house, I ate the leftovers.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: It's right, the wine, and I just sitting there with
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: an attitude eating that good.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: They was waiting on you to eat with them.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Crazy No, no, well, I don't know, but I didn't
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: want to. Like I listened. I would have most certainly
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: cried if I sat at their Valentine's dinner and ate
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: with them. Girl, I'm a third wheel old somebody Valentine's dinner.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: And not like I don't want to impose on somebody,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: but if they invite me to come, like I'm gonna come,
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: and I wouldn't cry because I'm single, there.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Listen. It would not make me feel good to be
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: like sitting in between the two and they're like, so,
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: how's everybody's day going. No, I don't want to do that.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: So that was my Valentine's. I did get some stuff,
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: you know, I got some stuff in the mail because
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: everybody who likes me right now is not local. So
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: I got some flowers. Oh, and I got some money.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: A He's always good and I just want to shout
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: out Jalisa. Jalisa is a live man and she and
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: AJ collapsed.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: That girl messaged me a month ago almost. She was like,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I want just want to do something really nice for
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: town for Valentine's.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that was so sweet, y'all. She
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: sent me a bouquet of flowers, and.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I cried like a baby in a car.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I woo cried because it was just so sweet and
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: thoughtful and unexpected. So thank you for that, Julisa. I
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: really really appreciate and love you, girl. And that was
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: my weekend. And my oh, I got something else to
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: happen this weekend, y'all. So y'all know, I'm traveling back
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: and forth to New York and I'm taking class or whatever.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: And this weekend New York had bad weather. That weather
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: sweeped up the East coast. So it was in Charlotte
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: first and it just was moving and it was high winds.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: So I struggled to get on the flight back to
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: New York because they kept getting grounded. Sunday night, I stood.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: I sat on the runway for three hours before the
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: plane just turned around and went back to the gate.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: The niggas was tripping like motherfuckers, was getting upset on
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: the plane when White Dude was like, whoever's fucking farten,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: stop fucking far God dammit, it fucking smells like shit, Yo,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: get the fucking bathroom.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Then charlat Maye just post some shit about people farting
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: a plane, like you're a special type of human and
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: just be farting just right there in your seat where
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: people sitting next to you. You ain't shit, right, actually,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: so uh that happened.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: So then we get off the plane and they're like, oh,
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: it's gonna be like two hours or something more before
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: this flight can take off. Potentially, we don't know, or
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: when I get canceled. Baby, I left the airport. I left.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I was like, I am not I've been here since
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: eleven am. I'm about to leave. So then finally, yeah,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: a whole day wasted because it's like almost eight o'clock
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: now at this point when I leave the airport. So
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: then the next day I go back. They're still calling
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: for a bumpy flight. They're gonna be They're like, it's
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: gonna be a bumpy one. We're not gonna do any
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: service on the plane because this is a quick flight
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: of hour and fifteen minutes. Baby, When I tell you,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: it felt like I was on a roller coaster flying
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: into New York. It was so scary. I was terrified.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: I was clinching my ass real tight in my seat
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: and like grinding my teams farting. No, it wasn't farting.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna lie. I have farted on the plane before,
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: but it was not me.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: That tie. You look like a bitch at a firm plane,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Like that's right up your shitty alley. That's crazy, man,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Have you ever held in a fart that shit?
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Do not feel comfortable?
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Just I feel like maybe I don't fart that much
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: as is, like I had to have some crazy shit.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I do not be full of gas, Like I feel
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: like that got something to do with your diet, Like
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I'm not eating some ship that's gonna get me gassy.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: But it don't be like that. When I have farted
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: on the plane, it wasn't like a stinky dookie fart.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: It was just like like a little air, just a
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: little air, just a little anxiety air or something like that. Now,
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: So anyway, y'all, the flight was bouncing like crazy, and
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I was scared. I was really grinding my teeth together.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I was praying, calling on Jesus, holding my butt cheese,
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: and someone behind me was in the back talking about
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: every time we hit a like every time the plane would.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: I was like this for these motherfuckers is crazy.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: And you know, I ain't gonna tell you what kind
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: of person it was, but you know the demographic of
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: the person it was on a plane, like going like
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: a bucking bronco on that bitch and talking about he hall.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, in the midst of like possibly dying,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: you might as well have fucking fun, Like what like
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: you traveling around the time that damn flight was belly
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: up in Canada, Yeah, exactly, you might as well have fucking.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: I was literally in the air when that shit happened.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: So no, I'm not. I'm not having fun. There's nothing
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: fun going on right now, and there's no heat. Hall
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: shut up and be quiet.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Like the rest of us, like it's thundering outside, like
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: your grandma.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Exactly that happened.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Let's get say. Okay, y'all listen, y'all be this fucking post.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: And I just sometimes I don't know if shit be
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: real or not, like or if people just be putting
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: it out there just to just to I don't know,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: get clicks, likes, and views. But it says this is
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: a post someone posting on social media. It says, my
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: husband is making us fly home from our honeymoon after
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: one day because he found out. I sent my ex
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: a simple goodbye text on the morning of our wedding.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: It was a good bye text for goodness sake, she said.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: It was a good bye text for goodness sake. Let
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: me read it how she writing it, and I will
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: always love you text, not a drop everything and meet
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: me at the altar. Text. I needed to say goodbye
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: to have closure on the unmarried part of my life.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Please tell me, my sensitive slash nostalgic girlies understand. No,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I don't, and I'm I'm a retired frangnizer, like I'm
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: with all the shits, bitch, but I feel like I'm
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: not playing with my husband in any capacity. You know
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. That nigga didn't marry you. You trying
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: to check that other nigga's temperature before you walk down
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: the aisle the girlies is not okay with that shit
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: the morning of your wedding. Why are you checking on
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: the next nigga? So morning of your wedding.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: I do understand, but let me tell you. Let me
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: say this, I don't understand on the day of your wedding.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I feel like this conversation conversation should have happened a
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: long time ago.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Like maybe when you got engaged, like, oh my god,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: he asked me to marry him. I said yes, yes, yeah,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: and yeah. But the morning of your wedding, and I
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: bet you he probably didn't even respond back, like he
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: probably ain't checking for you because.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: You know why he didn't give you a ring or
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: maybe you was. That was your side, nigga, because that's
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: what it's given. It seemed like you still had an
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: emotional connection to this person because on the day of
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: your wedding, first of all you sloppy his hell, because
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: how your nigga even see that? It's just too much
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: mess right now, because and let's say you did decide
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: to send this message, whatever came over you. You had pre
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: wedding jitters, and you just this message to your ex,
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: you know, and it was innocent and quotations. Why you
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: didn't delete it and then delete it from the deleted shit?
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: You were supposed to delete that nigga from your phone
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: after you say goodbye. Yeah, you're supposed to lead you
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: a whole.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: You're supposed to delete everything and delete the deleted shit
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: because you know you can go back and retrieve some
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: deleted shit. You're supposed to send that to the trash too. Baby.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I spent time this weekend deleting niggas, like just deleting
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: text threads and stuff that just needed not to be
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: in my phone anymore. Like why am I holding on
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: to these things? I just deleted a lot of people.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to meet the man that's gonna make
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: me delete all the dp PEOs. I got dicks from twenty.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Sixteen and whirl remember when the cell phones had the
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: memory cards? Yeah, bitch, I got a few memory cards,
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: but like hell of shit on it, Like I have
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: to hide those things. Motherfucker might get like a little
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: convertic cartridge and pop that shit at a computer one day.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: But here's the thing, also, there's some issues in your
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: relationship already to begin.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: With, because we don't try your phone.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: Why he and your phone on your honeymoon, like y'all
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: just trying to ruin your own honey like he was.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: His goal was to ruin his own honeymoon. I'm not
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: looking on vacation when people be fighting on vacation about
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: going through each other phone. Why you didn't come here
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: to have a good time, exactly, You spent all this
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: money to be mad.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: And that's the thing. The last vacation me and my
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: ex went on the nigga who I was engaged in.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Like the vacation was lovely, you know what I'm saying.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Like we wasn't trying to ruin our vacation. I mean,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: the minute we touched down back on us oil that
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: nigga like a his phone turned. My phone was working
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: the whole time over there, his phone wasn't working. So
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: as soon as we touched down, I don't know if whatever,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: bitch you done ghosted for this week, it was hitting
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: your ass up. But that nigga has such the nastiest
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: attitude after we ended vacation.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: At least wait till after we laying Yeah, like, who
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: the fuck go on vacation and ruin the ship by
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: going through he's with you?
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: What's your problem?
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: I remember I had a girl. I woke up one
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: morning and I seen on Instagram this bitch had I
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: posted my picture on her story to about this is
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: who my nigga talking to. I didn't like, I don't
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: even know. I didn't know he had a girlfriend. And
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: they were on her birthday trip and he was like
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: messaging me during the trip and he went to go
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: like change or something, and she went in his phone.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: It wasn't just me, it was me and a couple
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: other girls.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I think imber I remember, I remember that. It's like
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: a couple of bitches. She holly pick and choose which
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: bitches she wanted to be mad at the most. So
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: it's bitch cute.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Because I'm like, I don't know, I didn't know
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: he had a girlfriend. I would not be I'm not
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: trying to ruin your vacation, but why are you going
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: through his phone.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Why are you vacation? Why are you running your birthday?
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Like so, you're right that something else may be going
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: on in a relationship. And maybe he had already had
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: reservations about her. Why he even checking her phone. He
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: might have always been checking her phone. She just didn't know.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: But now it's that X so, I mean it's probably
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: you know this. This lets me know that there are
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: a lot of people who are not married to the
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: person that they are actually that they are actually in
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: love with. And I think more so men, they lose
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: the one that got away and then they just settle
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: for the next one and they just never get over
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: this other person. A lot of times I think it's
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: a lot of people married to just say mine, well, yeah,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: they married to mine as well, and the whole time
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: your heart is someplace else.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I remember we were all sitting around I think I
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: told this story on here before. But this man compared
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: his wife at the time because to a reliable Honda
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Accord baby, like, well, I know the single last everybody
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: was sitting at the table like looking down at their phone, like.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: The other bench. Pride was just a lexus made by
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: the same people, ain't it. No Toyota, make less Toyota, Hyundai.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know who else Haunta, don't make nothing else.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Don't ever. I'm a bily motherfucker. I'm just saying like
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: his upgrade from the Honda was probably nothing serious either
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, or he a.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Downgrade because he went all of that. He wouldn't if
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: he was a ninety eight Honda. She was a two
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: thousand and one. He was definitely a ninety eight. Non man.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Shame, what else were you goll going on?
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: So listen, you sent this to me. Study finds that
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: most single women would choose their dog over a man.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: A research conducted conducted by the Kennel Club reveals that
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: a substant number of single women would choose the company
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: of their dogs over pursuing a romantic relationship, with surveys
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: indicating figures between sixty and seventy percent. Studies conducted by
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: both the Kennel Club and Burns Pet Nutrition also showed
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: that many pet owners regard their dog's approval as essential
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: when considering a potential period.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Better know it.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Millennials are exceptionally devoted to their K nine companions, with
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: over half steering clear of relationships with anyone who lacks
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: fondness for their dogs.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: When Bella was alive, like, if I was to be
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: fucking with somebody and they like, get your dog, even
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: friends almost manless, I almost fought. We ain't friends no more.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: But I almost fought a bit over my dog once
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: because she kicked my dog. Yes, I said, listen, make
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: sure you pick all yourself up off the floor because
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: she'd be getting into shit. She'll choose stuff. So she
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: left her glasses on the floor and Honey, my dog
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: at the time, chewed her glasses. And when she woke up,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: she's like, your fucking dog, choose my glasses. And she
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: kicked honeyey And he said, I said, bitch, get the
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: fuck out of my house right now. This is her house.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: This is her house.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: And I told you not to leave your shit nowhere.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: Does I don't leave my ship there exactly a do
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: you know what time? It is like she would just
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: get bored randomly. She would not always do stuff like that,
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: but it was a possibility, which is why I pre
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: warned you. You know what I'm saying, girl, that bitch
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: kick my fucking dog. So if I'm fucking with a
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: guy who doesn't really like dogs like that. I don't
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: know how we're supposed to be in a relationship. Yeah,
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know if pet's period No, because I dated
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: someone who, uh, you know, African men don't really like
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: animals at all like that.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: In the house. They probably don't think they belong in
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: the house. That's what it is.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm I don't know if it's gonna keep
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: me from a relationship if you're not a pet person.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: As long as you don't try to harm my animal,
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: it's okay.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: But how are y'all okay? Like suppose y'all were to
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: get into a relationship with I would be married, y'all.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Y'all know that's what I'm saying. Y'all may not get
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: to that place because this is not an animal. Person
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: like that person would not want an animal living in
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: a house with them. It's the same like with smoking cigarettes.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Just because you smoke at your house, I still don't
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: want somebody who smokes me neither.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: But I listened. I remember I had, y'all. I had
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: a chihuahua Diamonds Rest in Peace Diamonds. And she was
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: so tiny, right like she was, you know how little
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: chihuah She was like, we've been small, like a pre
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: MEI hua tea cut.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: And I remember this guy that I thought was like
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: pretty dope. He was in banking in Charlotte and he
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: had his ship together and he was very much into
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: me and I finally, after you know, dating for a
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: little while, I invited him in uh to do karaoke
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: because I wasn't trying to fuck yet, but I love listen.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I always want to do karaoke and entertain. And I
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: let Diamonds out the cage, you know, because when I home,
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: she don't have to sit in the cage, you know.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: And I let her free. And I didn't tell him.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: I didn't say, hey, I'm about to let her out.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: I just went and opened the cage and he jumped
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: with his shoes on into my couch and was hollering
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: like a little bit, I'm not like that. And I
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, no, you've got to get the fuck out.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: I don't even want to talk to you no more.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: I don't even want to date you no more. Honestly,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: because we know and already love our animals, that's why
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: we're gonna choose them over this imaginary nigga. You know,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: I think if you met the right imaginary yes, he's
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: a pigment of your imagination at this time. So but
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I feel like if you met someone good and loving
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: and checked all your boxes and made you feel very love,
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: you might compromise.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I don't think. So. I have a friend who has
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: a child now, but and I think she might have
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: all already been pregnant when her and her boyfriend were
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: like like thinking about moving in together. But the entire
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: time she was dating him, he had this dog. She
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: knew he had a dog, right. She even she even
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: tried to go to therapy, like cause she's like really
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: really afraid of dogs, right, so she did actually, you know,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: go seek therapy to find out you know why is
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: she just so terrified of pets, and also to make
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: the relationship work. But ultimately they didn't work out, and
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: that was one of the reasons why is And now
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: they have a child together. And when she was pregnant,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: she was like I'm not even I'm not I'm not
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: moving in there, like you already made a decision. Now
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: you have a kid, and now is like you knew
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: this man had this dog the whole time y'all are
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: in a relationship, and he had the dog the whole
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: time you were pregnant, right, so why wait until you
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: get pregnant for somebody who has dogs, who has a dog,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: and you know you don't like dogs, Like that's something
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: that's probably another negotiable for you.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: I just expect you to compromise in my in my favor, see.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: And that's not how it's gonna be. So really, you
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: just have to get people who are comparable, yeah, to
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: your life, like you can't make especially at this big age.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Like if somebody doesn't like dogs, they don't like dogs,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: they're not gonna date somebody who has dogs. They're not
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: gonna date somebody who. A lot of people be hating
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: on cats. People do not like cats. I didn't know.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: I don't. I used to love cats as a child,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: But cats is so sometimey as fucked. Like one minute
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: they like you, the next minute.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: They they are women. They just like women and dogs
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: are like men. Like cats really don't when they don't
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: want you fucking with them, like you just leave them alone.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: But the less attention you paid to them, the more
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: they want to love on you.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Like I would have for me to have a cat,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I would want to get them declawed.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: No, that is so inhumane. What if they were to
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: get out and get lost, they won't be able to
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: defend themselves. I hate even Like for Christmas, we went
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: to some friend's house for she had like a gathering
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: for for friends for Christmas, and I actually took Dasha
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: to her people house like the breeder I got her from,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: And I intentionally didn't cut her nails, just in case
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: she got to fight her mom when she get there.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Like you just never know, like what's gonna pop off?
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: And your cat can't defend themselves because you don't cut
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: their nails or declawed them. Yeah, I would never that
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, that's their like defense, you know.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it gives your ass too.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: You have a big scratchbar cat I have. I got
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: a scar on my damn arm from when she was
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: a kitten. But she's man. Catch her hurts they do her,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: but they don't, they don't, they don't mean to do it.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know nowt up very intentional.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I was in high school. My friend Casey kat Panda,
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: she would always come rub on me, take rubbing on
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: my leg, rubbing, so finally I was like, okay, let
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: me pay.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, you can rub me, but I can't rub you.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Bit.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: That's how she scratched me up.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: And I ain't fu.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Shame. I love the cats, man, I was fixated on
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: cats for at least two years before actually getting one.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Your cat is pretty, but I definitely was still like,
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: if I came over, I would probably like myma business.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: And then she rubbing through me is cool, but I ain't.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna. I ain't gonna like I have PTSD.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: She has never hissed. I've heard her hits that like
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: she was hissing at like trying to buck up to
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: fight her mom. But she's never done that to me.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: And I heard her growl at a dog one time.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: She growls, Yeah, I didn't know cats growled, Yes, Like hmmm,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: that's insane, like a whole dog. Anyway, y'all listen. So
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: we got a lot of new legislation coming down the pipeline.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all heard about this or not,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: but it says Ohio and Mississippi bill aims to make
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: ejaculating without intent to conceive a felony costing over ten
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars. Okay, it's as a draft bill was released
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: in Ohio this week seeking to make ejaculation without the
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: intent of conceiving a baby a felony offense. Its advocates
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: say that say the intent is to stir up public debate.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: So maybe he's not a real thing. So it says,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: to stir up public debate over reproductive rights and the
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: interpretation and application of Biblical law, because y'all know that's
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: how they like to do women. If the United States
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: governments are willing to use interpretations of theological law to
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: regulate women, why not men? I agree. Ohio State Representatives
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Anita Somani and Tristan Radar Raider, the authors of the
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Conception Begins at Erection Act, say it's a tongue in
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: chic means of highlighting the hypocrisy behind moves to regulate
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: women's bodies. It says, you don't get pregnant on your own, observers.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Representative Samani, Democrat for Dublin. If you're if you're going
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: to penalize someone for an unwanted pregnancy, why not penalize
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: the person who is also responsible for the pregnancy. It
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: is now legal in ten states for women to have
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: a termination. Excuse me. It's now illegal in ten states
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: for women to have a termination, even in the aftermath
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: of a rape. At least three women have been jailed
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: after the US Supreme Court overturned the fifty year old
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: Row versus Wade precedent. So we get in politics, Yeah,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I feel like this is a is a great counter
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: because it doesn't like men don't have to have no
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: responsibility for real, once a baby is conceived. You know
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, like, yeah, you might get I guess,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: you know, child support stuff like that. I also then
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: understand men when they don't want the child, right, because
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: the women can say they don't want the child, and
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: then the man has no say so. A woman can
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: say they want the child and a man has no
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: say so, right, and that is your child, nigga. It
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: literally was in your nuts.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: First.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I love the name of the act, but it's ridiculous.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: It is if I catch your ass busting off of
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: a sock, nigga, ten thousand dollars reckless abandonments. I don't
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: think that's what they mean though. I think they mean like,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: if you get somebody pregnant and you didn't intend on
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: getting them pregnant, but they do it's gonna be ten
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars or maybe they just saying it just I
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: No, I think they just want people to have conversations
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: And that's what they said, is like thought provoking.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because the ain't no way, baby.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I just think they need to go ahead with the
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: contraceptive for men. You know, but there are a lot
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: of men now who are getting vasectomies. I know a
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: few men who have had them. You know, do they
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: have kids? Yeah, they already have kids, and they're like,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: I'm not having no more kids. And I guess I
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: want to be I want to fuck I'm not and
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean teach shirl, I listen. I'm like, just celibate,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: still just celibate. But the next time I do it,
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I want to be able.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: You're gonna celibate next time?
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: No, I ain't gonna celebate. I would like to have
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: unprotected sex.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, we fucking rut twenty twenty five, baby.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: But that's why, but only with the right person. So
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna wait and wait and.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Wait and wait. Don't do it, Ohio and Mississippi.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: But I just need to lie. I wanted to be
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: my man, my man, my man.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: So I think I'm just gonna wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: I've missed around and don't get none all twenty twenty.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Five, No, right, waiting on some nice clean well teen Yeah,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: some god faring penis. Yeah, girl, Yo, Christians, be wild.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: I want that. I'm gonna be like that girl. Remember
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: she's like, I ain't had no sex on the pool pit.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: When she's saying that, Yeah, now that's where I'm at
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: with it. Well, God please.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Give her that, give her that.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but I don't know. I'm with the
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: non recreational fucking nowadays. I just eat my energy.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Man. It's kind of crazy because you in that house
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: with a nigga, and I know he'd be like.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: All right, y'all, let's get to Battie of the Day,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Baddie of the week. So this week's battie is actually
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: a couple. Okay, black people, okay, Marie Van Britton Brown
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: and Albert L. Brown. Marie Brown was a nurse and
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: her husband was an electrician. In nineteen sixty six, they
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: invented an audio visual home security system. That same year,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: they applied for a patent for their security system. It
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: was granted three years later in nineteen sixty nine, y'all,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: And that is our baddie couple of the week that
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: talks back.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, salute to them. Hey, listen, I know they got
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: paid off of that security system. Like we've we've created
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: so many things, like so many inventions, and a lot
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: of them came out of necessity the need. When you
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: need some shit that don't exist, you wake up some
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: shit real quick.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they were living in Jamaica Queen's back then, so
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: they absolutely needed an alarm system. So them niggas is like,
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: wait a minute, let me see we could throw together
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: right quick. So a lot of patents are still you know,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: even used today. Period thirty two subsequent patents actually still
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: being used. We salute you all right, y'all. So listen,
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: this week's episode is actually an extension I guess from
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: last week from uh uh for the love of tam Bam. Okay,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: So when do you ask those tough questions when you
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: first get into a relationship, Because now she's gonna be
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: going on dates. She got like two apostle one of
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: the possible right now.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Not a single soul voted for Nico, not one.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Nico was a damn fool. I feel like he was
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: trying to self sabotage because what so, when do you
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: have the tough questions? When do you have the tough
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Excuse me? When do you have the tough conversations when
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: you first start dating somebody? When is the right time?
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: You know? I think it's before sex?
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, absolutely, before six.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, So if you plan on having sex with him
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: tonight and this is the first date, you need to
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: ask him all the shit today. Let's get into it, sorry, y'all.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: So Valentine's Day just passed and we did for the
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: love of damn bam period. So she'll have a date
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: coming up soon. So we were thinking about, like, you know,
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: like it's hard to actually have or ask the questions
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: that need to be asked.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: Period.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: When are you going on dates with new people? You
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. You don't want to scare a
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: nigga off, but I feel like scare them off if you.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Ask the hard questions up front, don't wait, but don't
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: some questions you should wait on, like don't ask for money.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: I don't think you should ask for money on the
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: first date.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Wait, why he gonna ask her pussy on the first
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: date or try to insinuate.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Well, you can insinuate that you need help. But I
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: just feel like men are off put by anybody. Like
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: I promise y'all. I used to do that shit a
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: long time ago. Date, not all the first day, but
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: like after the first day. I'm so stressed. Life is
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: so hard.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: I need help, but I really did.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: I was young, I was poor, you know, college college agent,
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: young and poor, you do need help?
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: Well, My thing is this, if they ask about or
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: even just having a little small talk around sex, even
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: a little bit, then that's when you bring up the
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: topic of money to make everybody uncomfortable at that point.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: But then it almost comes off as a little prostituty.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: You don't actually have to give him the gucci on
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: the first date. We are just meeting you on marroring
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: your actions right now, is what I'm doing. Yeah, But
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: so men value their pocket, they value their purse, and women.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Valuate their body, right, so, but then it almost comes
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: off as transactional. Are we transactional with our bodies?
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, even married women, But nobody want to talk about that.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: And sometimes I know. I am like, if I need
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: you to produce, I might not milk you all the time.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: We might not have sex all the time. If I
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: need you to be attentive and actually executeing on whatever
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: goals we have. Because if you really fucking a nigga like,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: he don't have energy to do nothing else. So I
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: need you to have energy but to provide.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: See, I'm thinking that you should want to fuck him
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: all the time.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: So somebody else ain't doing it.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, listen, it's empty that nigga all the time, so
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: he don't need nobody else.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: I am at a point in my life where I
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: really don't care. Not that I don't, but I think
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: that it's real love When I never find out, I
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: feel like you hate me out for me to see.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: But here's the thing. The niggas be sloppy. They don't
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: think as far ahead when it comes to turn things
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: like that as women do. When women step out or
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: do something they don't have no business, they are playing chess,
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: planning that ship down to what socks and shoes looking.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: And that is love, that's respect. Am I wrong.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: In a toxic way? You're right, is not doing it
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: at all? So I don't know with that, So what's
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: what's some.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Of the tough questions that you think should not be
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: asked on a first date, because again, if I were
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: dating at this age, I'm asking all the things upfront
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: so that you know, or you know, you can make
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: the decision whether or not you want to take any
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: further than tonight.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: You should never ask a man on the first day
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: how much money he makes, how much money he makes? No,
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: that's you shouldn't act that on the first day.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think I ever asked people
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: how much money they make, and I really don't ask
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: people what they do. Usually that comes out in general conversation.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: No, you know, being in LA that is a quick
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: they want so much money you make? Not how much
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: money you make, but what do you do? So what
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: do you do?
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's like the first to it's the problem.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: He will try to size you up.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: By But that is a common question out there. So
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think, like so some places that's normal to
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: ask and it's not offensive, you know, or where do
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: you live?
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Where do you live?
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Where do you live? But that's a that's intrusive to me.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: It's why you want to know don't where you live.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: So it's too soon to bring up money. How much
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: you make?
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: How much can I have some What's another question that
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: is too soon?
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Do you have like mental illness in your family? That
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: is not too soon for a first day. Yes, No,
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: don't ask because if it's mama skins are Freddy, you
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: think he want to have that conversation right away.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: He might be taking you out right now, like it's crazy,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: might fuck around and come out because you asked. You see,
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: so now you know rather than not you're getting that.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: But listen, people might have mental Is that a breaker?
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: It was not a deal break exactly. Some know how
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: now to handle you because I know I've said this before.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of times like men. I want
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: to say men, but I deal with men right. People
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: have issues and they want you to use them to
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: justify why they treating you a certain way. Like just
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: because I know you are all this trauma, you know
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to keep sticking around and using it
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: to justify being mistreated. Yeah, So know upfront, it just.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: Seems a little harsh because I'm just trying to put
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: myself in a place of someone who does have mental illness.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: In their family and what I want to be asked
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: that question on the first day and have to explain
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: why my mom is in a facility or why my
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: cousin like my sister is. That's heavy for a first day.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: You find that out, though, when do you.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Before you have sex with them?
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: But what if you might you know, be planning to
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: have sex.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Tonight, then I guess asked pussy tonight, then go ahead
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: and ask.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: All the questions.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: But I don't think that's that's so intrusive on the
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: first day. You know what I also I think is
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: kind of intrusive. I'm thinking in terms of like being
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: a woman. I don't like when people say, all right,
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: do you have kids? It's a fine question, why not
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: horrible question? Yeah, I think I hate that question. It's
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: like bitch y'all know ask God, don't ask me exactly?
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Well, But I also then make people feel uncomfortable. I'll
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: tell them exactly why I don't have kids. Now that's
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: a question I don't want people asking me or yeah,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: why you got enough kids? What's wrong with you?
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: Bitch?
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: But then if you got kids and no, man, that's
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: a problem too, exactly, So it's a lose lose for
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: women man we being.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: So that's a question. I don't think you should ask
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: a woman or even a man. You know, you can
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: ask if they have kids, but if they don't, don't
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: say why not.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: I be thinking it's more weird for men not to
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: have kids, the way to be ostracizing women for not
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: having kids. I really think it's more weird for men
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: not to have a child.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: What I do think?
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: So, I think it's more weirder, like why you no kids?
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: But you can't say that you don't want nobody to you.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: I had an epiphany one day when I was gonna streams,
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: y'all shreams. I think the best when I'm high, So well,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: that's not a real high anyway, it is. I wrote
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: in my notes, are women subconsciously attracted? Because you know
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: what men like to say women have kids for a
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: certain percentage of black men, like all of all the
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: black women who have kids got kids by the saying
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: niggas basically, And I was thinking, like, is that something
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: that is subconscious when you see a man with children,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: like you subconsciously subconsciously think like he is a producer,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: why you're attracted to him?
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: No?
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: No, I mean at least, you know, he I think
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: it's I think it is subconscious kids.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: I don't man without kids.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: You like them? You know? Or do you like the
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: niggas with it's better?
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: I don't think. I don't think that's not my discermining
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: factor or how well I like a man.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: But if the men that, I like the fact.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: So if like, all right, I like the fact that
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: if we have kids, it's the first time with me,
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: you know, like we get to experience this.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about that thing that we're not realizing in
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: the back because just think about the men you have
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: been in love with, did they or did they not
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: already have children?
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: So the last nigga I loved did not have kids.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: He had kids while we were together with somebody else.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: So I don't know if that counts.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: No, that's not what I'm talking about.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then the man prior to that, he did
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: have kids. But like I'm always I was always concerned
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: with like, if I get into this, you know, I'll
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: get with this man with children, am I going to
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: be a good step mom to these kids? I'm always
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: concerned with that, like what will my relationship to these
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: children be and their mother. That's always my first concern.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: So when a man doesn't have, I'm like, yes, I
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: don't have to deal with none of that.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like baby mamas and none of that shit.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: And then you know, especially if you with somebody who's
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: not really facilitating the relationship between you and the kid's mom,
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: it's just gonna always be awkward. I remember my ex
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: I had met one of his baby moments because she
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: was just like a random way girl, one of his
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: childhood friends. The fun laughing was easy for him, I
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: guess with this other one real strict and he just
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: had her pop up at the house one day to
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: bring the sun. Didn't tell me nothing, and didn't tell
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: her who was at the house.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: So he wasn't there, just you.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Hell no, And I opened the door with a fucking bondy.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: You think that's how I want your baby mama and me?
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure. And she looked like she just
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: got off from work, looking tired, like I'm pretty sure
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: she wanted to look more.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so you have to properly. Yeah that wasn't fair.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like that. It was embarrassed and you
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: didn't know the kid was coming. No, he called me
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: like right when he was pulling up, like, yeah, my baby,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: mama dropping my son off. Where the fuck are you?
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Whirredo anyway, So why do you think it is that
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: we avoid like the hard conversations thought, aside from not
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: wanting to offend, I think for women, we don't want
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: to push the man away too early. A lot of
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: times we women have a tough time asking things.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't want to. I think it's the same
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: for everybody.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: Nobody wants to give the e like ugh, you know,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: but the tough question like women that need women need
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: to ask that they may not on a first day
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: is like, you know, are you interested in being married?
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: Because in a man's mind, you want to marry him
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: tomorrow if you ask him that question. But really no,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: I just want to know, like, are you even in
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: that mind.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: Of marriage if you want that or not? Because if not,
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: I'm wasting my time here.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: Do you have married friends? Are your parents still together? Now?
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Those are things you can ask.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: But I've never in all my years had a man
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: say no, he was completely escephal last week. Last week
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: the first time in my life. On the episode, it
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: was the first time my man had ever told me
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: that marriage was completely off the table, you know. So
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: I feel like men kind of like acquiesced to what
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: you what it sounds like you want off times, Yeah,
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: when they not even being for real Like whatever you say,
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: baby girl, I'm down with it until I get that pussy.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: You can't even get no cheese on your burger? What
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Martin says?
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: You want cheese? God damn? Why are you a cheese?
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: But I don't be remembering these things to real life
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: randomly like that the hell?
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: So I just say that to say that sometimes you
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: ask the hard questions and you get the answer you
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: want instead of the truth.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Right, So are we saying that men don't have integrity.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Sometimes because we family? I'm about to share some shit
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: that happened to me last year. I got ghosted.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's just February, so what a couple months ago?
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got ghosted by a nigga. Y'all that shit
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: is humbly.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Listen.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Then was like very persistent, like doing all the things,
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: like being very present. I even we were even discussed
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: matching pajamas for Christmas. He was down. I sent him
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: pajamas that I liked. He liked him too. It was lit.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: He was supposed to come for Thanksgiving. He's supposed to
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: come to my mama's house for Thanksgiving. I sent him
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: a message about Okay, I don't want to give it
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: too much away, but all right, this person is an
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: entertainer or whatever, and I sent him a message about
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: what I saw on something that he had been on.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: Do you know I never heard from that nigga again
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: to this day. He never responded, never text back. I
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: call him, no answer. I have not heard back from him.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: Why did you do all of that with me?
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: So he not like this thing was hidden, right, so
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: he knew you would see it at some point.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, or I'm a sick I mean it's on it
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: was on YouTube, so hm hmm. Ain't that crazy that
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: I know him for a while. But we started talking
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: like early in the summer, and it just it progressed.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: And then while my foot was broken, we kind of
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: was locked in, or at least I thought we had
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: locked in.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Maybe he found out somebody was pregnant, but I think that.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: That's why.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that's that's like an avoidance tactic, right, so
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: you don't have to have the hard conversation.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: And remember when I said I don't mind ghosting, I
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: mean because I have ghosted sometimes I feel like girl
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: one hundred thousand times like that will that don't mean
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: you like you're trying to make me do something, and
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: that's gonna make me not answer the phone even more.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: I might change.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna call a hundred times, but I will
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: call three.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: No, I'm calling one time and I'm texting one time,
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: and that's it.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: I will call you three motherfuck times and if you
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: don't answer that phone, I will pull up.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: You ain't pulling up at lying that gas gasoline, no
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: mad So maybe he just he just avoided having a
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: tough conversation with you, and sometimes you just have to
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: respect it. Did you ever give up the kuchie?
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: What?
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: No? Okay? I mean if you didn't, then you're winning.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: No I did? I did.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: That's a real ghost.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. He goes to me here my feeling okay, And
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: I ain't been on the day or talking to nobody since.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, in case somebody after sex, I'm going to get
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: an STD test depending on Like, why the funk you
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: stop talking to me? I'm scared now, but it wasn't
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: like direct. It wasn't like directly after sex.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: He was like, puts it bad.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like that.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: It was just like it was so random, you know,
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: it was just very random. It was it was weird.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: And this is the first time I shared with anybody
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: that this happened, because I was really embarrassed by it.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: But I mean, we family, and it happens to the
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: best of us, So that's what happened. But I've been like, yeah,
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: I'm done ever since then, like for real done, Like.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: M yeah, maybe a couchin as good as you think, girl,
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: fuck you Gucci is amazing. Let me call that nigga
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: from myself. Ho fuck you. Women always say they got
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: the best Guccie. I don't know how this scuoci feel.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: I know I have been stalked about it, but I
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: won't say I got good. Have you ever been ghosted
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: before I've done. I've had a mutual ghost where we
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: just stopped talking, like I really didn't care one way
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: to the other. After sex.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: Really, it wasn't like after sex, so it was just
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: like random. It was very random because we had been
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: you know, we were, like I said, we had been
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: locked in.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: I just don't think men go away if you never
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: fuck them. You know what I'm saying, They gonna stick
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: around until they at least do that, and then they
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: kind of like decide rather it was they like you
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: enough to keep doing the things.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it was.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: To him.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, So look, so I lied a little bit. I
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: did get I did get a random dem from him
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: when I popped out with the red hair on my
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: Instagram story that he was like in my DM saying
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: a little something. But I ignored it at that point.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Because it's like playing with right. Yeah. So yeah, yeah,
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: that's definitely he definitely on some bullshit.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: I just feel like he's just like, oh, I think.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: That's how men put women in friendszone though. See the
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: difference between men and women. When we friend zone, we're
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: not fucking you first, like we're gonna friend zone you
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: because we don't really want to have sex with you.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: Men will fuck you and then friends on you.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: But the thing is, you're talking about mentioning pajamas and
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: coming for Thanksgiving.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: He's saying all the things that you want to hear, though.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: But I didn't ask you to cod for Thanksgiving.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: You just you know, then just they just be fucking
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: lying for no reason. And then it doesn't matter how
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: many times you tell them like it's cool, like you
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: don't even got to do all that, they just still't
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: do it because it's just like a normal setting and
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: they fucking head. That's why you gotta thump them sometimes
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: on top, because that's what a reset by.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: Now, no, that's violent, you go to jail.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: Look, man, these hands all right?
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: The what are we?
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: Once you get into their relationship.
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: Listen, I don't do the what are we? I don't
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: do the water we card of conversation. I just feel
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: like I'm sitting until you ask me to be your girlfriend.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: I feel like at this point men or like somebody
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: needs to write a letter and like do the yes
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: and no like school check yes and no, because a
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: man will be doing all the things with you you
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: meet his girlfriend.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: And I will not consider you my boyfriend. I'll meet
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: your mom and all that stuff. But if you don't
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: ask me to be in a committed relationship with you,
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: I'm going to assume that we're not.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think that even even if right you
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: got that mind, because I feel the same way. Right
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: and then you're still dating and exploring other people. If
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: that guy that you might be spending the most time
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: with because y'all are doing the boyfriend girlfriend things, if he,
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: you know, realizes like you actually actively out here still dating,
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: he probably gonna stop talking to you that type of
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: way about it.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: You didn't ask me to be your girlfriend, So if
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: you wanted that commitment, then why didn't you?
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: But why do we hide it?
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Though?
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Why do we hide that we're still dating because you
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: haven't committed yet? I feel like women do? Bit is
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: my lace showing it? Why are you looking up? I'm
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: just looking too. I feel like you're looking right here.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: I love this ivy booth and sometime bit y'all they
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: just be so self conscious about that. Lacey, keep awake on.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: I know something going on right here looking at it. Okay,
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: you did.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: This?
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: What we talk about farmers?
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: We need to be the way the food is right now?
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: But yeah, like I.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: Think a conversation should have also. Yeah, even if you
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: don't ask him, what are we like? Hey, you you're
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: still dating other people?
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: Are we exclusive?
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's how you ask? But then men like, because
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: what are we? What?
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: Do we sound so needy? To me, like, what are
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: we It.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: Doesn't have to be said like that, That's what I'm saying.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: So maybe you can ask are we are we still
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: seeing other people?
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Are we exclusive?
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: Putting me and you and the thing? Right?
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: Are we exclusive?
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: Because the minute because the man is doing all the things,
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: and the minute you ask about a relationship, the relationship
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: kind of ends at that point because they feel like
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: somebody's forcing them.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you could be all in, like you think
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: you're in a serious relationship, You've met the family. You know,
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: everybody's taking your mama to his mama to her doctor appointments,
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: you babysitting his kids, and then you catching with somebody else.
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: And he was like, you know what it was for?
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: When when it started? We ain't never we never said
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: we was like that. We never said we was like that?
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: Did we have to say it? We were doing all
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: the things.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: When was this? I think this is when we went
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: to the breakfast club. I was dating this guy and
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: I really really liked this guy. Man, we was on
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: the floe for like eight hours, bitch planning goals. Like
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: though we had never yeah, though we had never said
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: be in a relationship together, we were actually planning out
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: like things like life. You know what I'm saying, Oh, I.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Know who you're talking about.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, girl, why the nigga just got engaged? Anyway, you know,
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: I still don't know how not your help him play
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: his goals for the next bitch. So baby, I'm just
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: this is just a podcast, right, So anyway, Yeah, I
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: was dating him and I really liked him. But before
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: we went to New York, you know, I kind of
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: had that conversation with him like what's up, you know
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And he was like, I want to
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: court you more. I'm like, what, like your kids be
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: waking up in the bed with me and all type
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: of shit, like we don't need what is courting? I
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: think we had a whole episode about this, trying to
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: understand like even the fucking steps and dating. It's so
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: confusing because men and women just aren't the same. And
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: men think they're so simple, but they are more complicated
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: than the word d okay because what's the definition? So
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: they think they are not complex, but they are. So
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: he said he wanted to court me more. Whatever that means,
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know. So from that point on, I knew
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: I was still a free agent.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, courtymore means like he still wants to date.
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: That's not what it was like he month, you know,
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: weeks later. Now he's trying to explain because my energy
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: changed because I literally asked him, you want to be
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: my boyfriend like that, and he was like, he want
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: to court more. I was like, okay, So when we
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: went to New York, I just wasn't as available and
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: the nigga, Now I start seeing something. Now, I see
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: like you got abandonment issues. Damn near because I know
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: I was available, like at your back and call up
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: until now. But I'm working.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: So why him saying that he wanted to court you
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: more turned you off from it? Because that's because that's
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: what I mean. That's not a bad thing.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: No, it's not a bad thing, but it still leaves me.
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: I'm still single, you know what I'm saying. So now
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: if I want to talk to somebody else instead of you,
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: if I want to go out on a date with
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: someone else instead of you, I should be able to
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: do that without you calling my phone a hundred times,
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: because that's what he did. And then that's the turnoff
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: to me because I feel like when somebody calls your
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: phone multiple times. They it's just a control thing. It
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: has nothing to do with you, actually, a because if
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: I were dead, I wouldn't be able to answer anyway.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: So now you're just trying to get me to answer
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: the fucking phone. That is controlling. So now he explored
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: something I didn't like in him. Hold on that bad Yes,
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: you just want me to answer? Yeah, I am a
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: grown person. This is my phone. I don't have to answer,
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: especially if you not my man. So why are you
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: calling chain calling my cell phone?
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: Because did you see me calling you? Stop playing?
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: But you're not my man. You see what I'm saying.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: But had you had we committed.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: But I think it would be available. You know. I
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: like who you're with me.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: I went on a fucking date with another nigga while
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: I was there. I remember, Yeah, he don't know that
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: now until he watched this episode that guy. Yeah, but whatever,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: he's engaged, so it's fine.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: But I don't know about that a J.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I guess maybe a little bit because of man not
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: bad off, Like he was doing all the things right
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: and he just said I wanted to court you more,
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: and you was like, uh boy, by well, I said,
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: do you want to be my boyfriend, and you told
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: me no essentially, but he didn't court me more. That's no,
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: not yet, that's not no. That's weeks later when we
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: talked about it again, he was like, okay, then fuck
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: are we together now? And don't get mad when I
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: started stalking your ass. That turned me off even more.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: No, that's a red flag. Don't say nothing about.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: Stalking, especially to a bet.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: You's be stopped, right, Okay, yeah, so yeah, I don't
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: play that because stalking is not a good feeling.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: It's scared. So I don't know. It's just so I
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: glad I'm not outside.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: What are the takeaways? How to get comfortable being uncomfortable?
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: Practical tips for handling tough talks like a pro timing matters.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: Don't dump everything in the first convo, but don't wait
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: too long. Keep it casual but direct, No pressure, just
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: open communication. Be honest, not harsh, Say what you mean
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: without being me that. I have trouble with that because
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: I think, I don't know. I think in my mind
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: it is not mean, but then somebody will be like, girl,
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: that was mean as hell the way he said that,
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: And in my head I wasn't like I didn't intend it.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: To be mean.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: I didn't intend it to sound mean, but.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: And then I don't like that people can pick and
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: choose when it sounds mean because they just don't have
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: a response to it, because I think a lot of
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: times that's.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: What people do.
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: It's it's like a scapegoat tactic. You don't like what
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: I say, so now you are dressing tone and how
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: I said it. That'd be some bullshit. And my niece
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: is twenty seven. She just we had a conversation this
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: week and she was like, I saw this post on
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: Instagram because God, she's dating said that she doesn't know
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: how to talk to him right, but he's not doing
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: life right right now. So she's like she's challenging him,
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. She's asking him tough questions
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: and trying to figure out what is he doing in
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: his life? And he doesn't like that, yeah, or probably
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: just doesn't like what she's asking because it's making them
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: have to be accountable. And I think a lot of
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: times like people when they don't want to be accountable.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: But what it is that you're asking, and you know me,
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: she's trying to get from them, Then they just address
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: tone and how you say some shit right versus yeah, okay.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: But I do feel like I do. You know, I'm
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: consciously trying to work on how I deliver how I feel,
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: especially something I'm passionate and emotional about. It can come
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: off harsh, but sometimes I don't mean it to be me.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: I remember one time I was doing this girl's hair,
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: and like she would always come in and talk about
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: her nigga and how sorry he was and how bad
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: he was and all that stuff. And she came into
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: her appointment and my sister was sitting right there and
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: I said, hey, girl, come on, sit down. I was like, gir,
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: are you still with that sorry ass nigga? And Tanya
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: was like, why did you say that to her?
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: And I was like, that was me because I'm not
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: bringing up your sorry ass nigga unless you do. When
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: you know somebody fucking with a sorry ass nigg like,
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be there. I didn't even always ask
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: you about him, and let you got to bring the
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: information to me. I'm not asking you for updates on
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: the bullshit you be going through.
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: But doing hair, that's all we talk about. Is it's
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: like therapy, Like they sit down and unpack on me everything.
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: It's her fault.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: It's her fault. It's not really your fault, because you
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: wouldn't know he was sorry as a nigga. She wasn't
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: sitting there talking shit about her man. Who's dick, She's
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: still going to suck on?
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: Well, they weren't together no more. She she was like, girl,
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: I left and we celebrated that. But my sister was like,
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: he was wrong for saying that.
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess you gotta know your personnel.
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I didn't feel bad about it. She had
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: been complaining about that nigga for a while.
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: You know, I mean personally me, right, I wouldn't take
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: offense to that, especially if I know I'm talking about
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: this nigga to you, I wouldn't take offense. But then
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: you know, maybe.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: And maybe that's why I think my sister probably because
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: she had been privy to the conversation prior. Okay, yeah, yeah,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: so it's all a yeah, it's all within the context.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: Or here's the next one. Listen and don't assume the worst.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: Not every hard conversation has a bad ending. Yeah. I
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: think we you know, we have we have a what's
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: the word I'm looking for we we have, We're accustomed
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: to assuming that it's going to be the bad ending
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: versus a good conversation or a good outcome. Like I
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: honestly think think you took the word recording the wrong.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: Way with that guy, but you had to be there, Yeah,
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: and they'll be there for all the things. Yeah, I
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: don't think so, because I don't feel like at that
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: point we're in the courding stage like we're doing. You
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, I'm still single, That's what I'm
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: hearing when you say that, and you were still singing. Yeah.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: So the only like he could have left it there, right,
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: I guess the only difference is my energy changed a
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: little bit, right because I'm not giving you my all anymore? Right,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: so now actively still trying to find a boyfriend that
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: I asked you about. Yeah, So, can you feel some
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: type of way to now to where you like busting
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: my phone down and shit, you can't do that.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, No, that's no, that's fair. Busting your phone down
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: is crazy after you told me like we just courting.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So, I don't know. At the end of the day, I.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: Think we're that y'all were sleeping together at this point.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: Though, yes, sleeping sleeping together, yeah, even like yeah at
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: that point for real, you my whole boyfriend.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how I feel like, once you start sleeping together,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: we go together. What are you talking about?
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah? But I think the the important conversations like they
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: actually separate. You know, you don't want to be wasting time,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: So get him out the way early. That's how I
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: feel about it. So that's my last last. Really, just
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: get the conversations out the way. It's gonna separate the
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: real from the fake, real early, because if he's interested
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: in you, there's nothing you can ask him that's gonna
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: scare him away.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: Listen, it might cause niggas laugh sometimes and they'll tell
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: you everything you want to hear, even pick out matching
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: pajamas with you. Seriously, like they might just tell you
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: like the answers that sound good, but at least ask
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: the questions. That's my last last. You may not get
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: the truth, you know, but hopefully you do.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: And we want to know. Tell us your uncomfortable conversations
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: you've had, first date, second date, third date, and what happened?
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: What was the response? Man and woman?
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: We want to know or did you wait too long
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: to ask those questions and how when they wait too long,
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: we want to ask all the shit after we get
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: the pussy up.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: No, the man's brain is different at that point, so
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: you got to put all your expectations on the table.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: Day one.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: First, well, what was the biggest trasher? You don't even
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: care about it.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: Then you get the out of the abord mission. That's
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: a whole other episode. When do you smash? Because I mean,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: get it out of the ways so you even know
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: if you like this nigga, I feel like that is communication.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: Sex for me is communication.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: We mean, like I say, wait, wait, you will learn
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: a lot about a person if you.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: Will let them talk.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you wait, Yeah, But that still don't mean
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: that still don't mean it's gonna turn out. I waited
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: with but God talking about I waited and waited and
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: waited and still just feelings what you just wanted to
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: see your booty hole?
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: I think once a nigga see your booty hole is over,
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: it's over.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: That's so weird. Say your booty hole?
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: All right, y'all listen, click like, and subscribe okay on YouTube.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: on the Black effect Alheart Radio app, or wherever the
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: fuck you get your podcasts out. This is your co host,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: A J Holiday two point o Instagrams, kicking y'all.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: I'm official Taan Bama on Instagram. I love y'all so much.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: Remember speak now and should never hold your piece or
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: your questions ask them before.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: More podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows