Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Narcissists and emotional EMPATHY

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Narcissists and emotional EMPATHY · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people Today we're going to be
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  talking about can a narcissist have empathy like the the
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  empathy that's coming from their their core.
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  Can they have it? Can they possess it?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
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  Can a narcissist have empathy? So I already know what people
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  are going to say. All right, look, look, I'm let
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  me, let me look into the future. Y'all say I got my, my, my cap
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  on. This is my, my prediction, my
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  prediction cap. Can a narcissist have empathy?
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  What is my what is my audience going to say?
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  Lee, No. Hell no.
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  What are you talking about? I'm unfollowing you now because
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  you're lying. This is clickbait.
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  No, I predict some of the comments, y'all.
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  But seriously, that's one of the main questions that I absolutely
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  get a lot of the time. Can a narcissist have empathy?
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  And again, the answer to the question is going Yeah, yes.
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  Simply put, a lot of narcissists can possess empathy.
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  Like are there narcissists out there that have absolutely 0
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  empathy that don't care like about anybody else, they cannot
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  understand the emotions or feelings with anybody else?
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  Absolutely yes. There are a lot of narcissists
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  out there that that that that don't possess that.
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  And the the definition of empathy says the ability to
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  understand and share the feelings of others, the ability
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  to understand and share the feelings of others.
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  Some narcissists can absolutely do that.
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  Like I think that most, a lot of narcissistic people, right, are
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  born with the ability to share the to ability to understand and
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  share the feelings of others, right?
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  You're, you're born with that ability to, to learn that in
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  your youth, something happens in the childhood that shuts that
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  ability off. Like we put where you put so
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  much energy and time, effort, energy into protecting yourself
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  and defending yourself and defending your vulnerabilities
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  and not wanting to the same week and not wanting to, you know,
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  avoiding criticism and shame and things like that, that you just
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  have to, something's got something's got to go.
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  And a lot of times the empathy is has to go because empathy
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  doesn't serve me. If I'm about protecting myself,
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  how does empathy serve me? So that's what happens to a lot
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  of narcissists in their childhood is that empathy low,
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  low no longer serves them in any way, right?
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  So if the empathy is no longer serving them, what use do I have
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  for it? So they get rid of it, you know,
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  they shut it off. But there's always the butt,
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  isn't it? A big, old, big old butt, a big,
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  a big BBL butt, you know, oh, BBL, emotional BBL.
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  But there to me and to a lot of people, there are different
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  forms of empathy, right? I know you see one of the tell
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  tale signs of narcissism is the lack of empathy, right?
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  Lack, lack, lack doesn't mean none, right?
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  You know, lack doesn't mean none.
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  You know what I mean? I think a lot, a lot of people
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  hear the word lack and they automatically think 0, you know
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  what I mean? It's just like, so even the
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  definition, it says noun, the state of being without or not
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  having enough of something, not having enough of something.
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  It says the state of being without or so or you know what
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  I'm saying, or not having enough.
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  So like I said earlier, some don't have it at all, but
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  there's some people who just lack it.
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  They don't have enough of it. They have it for the people
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  closest to them, right? Narcissists have it for the, if
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  they have this type of empathy, if they, if they have any
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  empathy at all, it's for the people that are closest to them,
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  right? And it's very little, you know,
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  But to me, like I was saying earlier, there's different forms
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  of empathy. To me, there are two different
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  forms of empathy. This is just to me and actually
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  had a, a psychotherapist say this.
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  I was on a TV show in Australia last year called Insight on SBS
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  in Australia and a psychotherapist on the show
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  said, hey, there's two different forms of empathy, cognitive
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  empathy and emotional empathy. Emotional empathy is what the,
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  is the empathy that most people think of, right?
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  The empathy, the emotional, the ability to emotionally connect
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  and understand somebody else's feelings, right?
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  That's the type of empathy that narcissists lack the most of,
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  right? That's the type of empathy that
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  if you have to say Lars, Lars, you have to say narcissists lack
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  empathy. That's the type of empathy that
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  they would lack. The emotional connectivity that
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  the emotional empathy is what they lack, right?
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  They can have some of it. I have emotional empathy.
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  I, I really do. I love my wife, I love my kids.
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  I understand their feelings for the most part.
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  Notice I said for the most part, right?
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  But there are some narcissists who don't have that at all.
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  They don't have any emotional empathy, but they have what you
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  call the second form of empathy, cognitive empathy.
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  Cognitive empathy, right? Yeah, that's all 10 people.
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  Cognitive empathy means that you understand, you know the
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  emotion, right? You understand what the person
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  is going through. You see it?
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  You mean, you see what I'm saying?
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  You know how you you know how the person is feeling.
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  You can understand why they are feeling in a certain type of
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  way, right? You understand why this person
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  is crying. OK, Your mom passed away.
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  I understand why you are crying. That's I get it.
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  I understand why you're crying right here.
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  But I'm not going to get emotionally connected to it.
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  They understand the emotion, They can acknowledge the
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  emotion. They see the sadness, right?
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  But they don't connect to the sadness.
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  They don't dig deep into the sadness.
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  The deep they can't, they don't dig deep into the sadness.
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  And that's what hurts a lot of people in these situations.
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  They don't dig deep enough into the sadness.
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  So it ends up hurting them in a lot of ways.
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  You know what I mean? And then like I said,
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  narcissism, it hurt, it hurt us in our childhood.
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  So we don't dig deep into the sadness.
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  We don't want, we don't want those emotional connections like
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  that because it doesn't serve us if we're trying to protect
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  ourselves, if we have our, if we have our guards up, if we have
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  our walls up, emotional empathy is what lets the walls down.
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  It's what lets the guard down South.
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  Emotional empathy didn't serve me in my childhood.
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  Cognitive empathy did. Understanding why you're crying
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  did. It allowed me.
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  Because if you understand cognitive empathy, if you have
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  cognitive empathy, it can allow you to be extremely manipulative
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  to people who have more emotional empathy.
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  It just absolutely can. If I understand why you're
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  crying, right? If I understand that your mom
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  passed away and that's why you cry and that's why you're sad,
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  so I can come up with a story, a sad story, then you who possess
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  a lot of empathy, you're going to be sad too.
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  So I can manipulate your emotions because I understand
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  cognitive empathy and I use it against your emotional empathy.
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  It's crazy how that works, isn't it?
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  I know you probably never heard that before because I just came
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  on top of my head. Like cognitive empathy can be
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  weaponized against emotional empathy.
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  If I understand what you're going through, but I don't
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  connect to those feelings, I can create a scenario where those
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  feelings come up for you. Then I can manipulate you with
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  what do you think about that? That was crazy.
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  I just kind of like, that's wild.
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  That's wild. My mind is just turning right
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  now, y'all? It's like the gear, the little,
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  the little narcissistic gears are turning in my head right now
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  because I don't think I've ever heard that before.
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  I really haven't. It's just like I'm just thinking
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  about it like I can because I understand the emotions behind
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  it and I don't connect to it. I can concoct the scenario.
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  I can weaponize my own. Think about it now.
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  If something really has happened to me, like if I really have
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  suffered a loss in my life, if I really have lost someone close
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  to me and I know how you feel about losing people close to
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  you, I can use that against you. You know what I mean?
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  I can absolutely use that against you because you connect
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  deeply emotional, you connect on a deep emotional level and I
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  don't. That's crazy how that works
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  right there, isn't it? That's insane how that works in
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  a lot of these situations because it was like I said, a
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  lot of people don't understand it, right?
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  A lot of people don't understand that mindset because like that's
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  why I tell y'all, I've said this now I've said this before.
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  Your empathy can be used against you.
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  I've said that before, but I didn't dig deeper into it.
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  And now that I'm digging deeper into it, it absolutely can.
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  It's crazy because I understand empathy, I understand your
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  emotions and I don't connect to it.
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  I can create a sad ass scenario where most people around me are
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  feeling sorry for me and I use that against you.
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  That's why you, that's why you see a lot of scammers use
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  emotionally you. They use these super a lot of
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  narcissistic scammers use these super emotionally manipulative
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  situations to conjure people to to to get to to con people out
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  of their money to con people out of their resources, right to con
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  people out of this certain situation.
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  They they do it. They make up this sad ass story
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  and then the tugs on your heart strays and you willing to
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  donate? You'd be willing to give them
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  some money. That's what the dynamic behind
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  it. There are a lot of narcissistic
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  scammers out here, a lot of narcissistic people out here.
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  They create Gofundmes and don't really don't really need them,
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  but they just create a story. Just say, hey guys, my mom is
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  really sick and my dad is out of the picture of my whole life.
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  I need some money. And that's what happens when
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  people donate because they connect to it.
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  I don't connect to it because it didn't really happen or it did
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  happen, but I still don't connect to it like that.
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  I don't connect to it on a deeper level.
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  You do so you donate, you do so you give it up.
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  And no, I'm not a scammer y'all. Y'all, if you follow me on
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  Facebook and you get some messages from me right now, it's
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  not from my Facebook has been compromised, y'all?
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  Somebody took my took over my Facebook.
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  I've been going back and forth with Meta and Facebook to get it
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  back. So hopefully I'll be happy back
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  here soon. But my mental illness Facebook
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  page has been compromised. So don't be responding to
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  messages. Don't you know I'm not only
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  asking for no money? Y'all see the best man who turns
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  out, do you need some money? Yes, this this will be
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  happening. Y'all.
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  So don't let narcissistic people prey on you because you have a
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  lot of empathy. That sucks.
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  And they're like I said, and they will, yeah, they absolutely
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  100% will weaponize your empathy against you and not have a care
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  in the world, not care how you feel, not care how it affects
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  you on a deeper level, not care what happens to you that long as
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  their needs are being met. They don't care how you feel
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  when they are using your empathy against you.
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  They do not care. I know people.
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  I know people are like, oh lady, that sucks.
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  And I just, I just wish I didn't care so much.
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  Something like I get some people in my comment section that be
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  wishing that like, I wish I was a narcissist so I didn't have to
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  feel that way. Like no, you don't want because
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  you, you want to be able to feel y'all.
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  And I feel like it's, it's kind of like a side effect of my
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  therapy that has helped. It has opened up a lot of doors
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  for me emotionally. It helped me dig deeper into my,
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  my empathy center, right? My empathy helped me dig deeper
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  and unlock some of the doors that might have been locked back
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  in the day when I was growing up and I got hurt or manipulated or
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  something like that. So there's been a lot of things
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  that have been going on in my life where, you know, I feel
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  like therapy has opened those doors up to help me heal.
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  And they helped me grow and they helped me become who I am right
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  now. And I'm one of the most helpful
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  people in the field of narcissism right now.
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  I got some big interviews coming up.
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  I'm working on my book. I'm waiting to hear back from
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  this publisher. I need to hear I need to hear
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  back from her. Come on publisher, hit me back.
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  My book is coming soon though. Y'all, if you haven't already,
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  make sure you subscribe to the channel.
• 11:39
  Check out my support groups. I have a support group at the
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  mental hill list. We get deep in depth 2-3 zoom
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  sessions, private zooms every week.
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  All your questions answered on a private server like and
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  subscribe to this channel. But to this is that please thank
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  you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
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• 12:01
  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 12:08
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.