Latest / The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom / 214. How to Love Your Empty Nest Mornings with Author Jennifer Dukes Lee

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214. How to Love Your Empty Nest Mornings with Author Jennifer Dukes Lee · The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom

• 0:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Christian parenting.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: set healthy boundaries, reconnect and marriage, and step confidently into their God-given purpose.
• 0:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Each week I'll coach you through this season with faith-filled encouragement on his conversations and practical tools that you can apply right away to your relationships and your life.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: If this episode encourages you, I'd be grateful if you leave a quick rating and review.
• 0:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: It helps other moms find the support they need.
• 0:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: You'll find the link in the show notes and make sure you're following the podcast
• 0:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: If mornings feel stressful or scattered before your feet even hit the floor, or if the quiet of the empty nest, has left you wondering what you're supposed to do with this stillness, you're not alone.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Many of us believe that once the kids were grown, mornings would be magically more peaceful, but instead, our thoughts can spiral, emotions rise quickly, and hope can feel just out of reach, even though scripture tells us, God mercies are new every morning.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Today's conversation is such a gift for this season.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm joined by my friend, the Delightful Jennifer Duke's League.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Author of the new book, How to Love Your Morning.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Jennifer is a gifted writer and editor.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's an Iowa girl, just like me, married to her husband, the farmer.
• 1:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: with two grown girls chasing their dreams far from her.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's very familiar with the empty nest.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: An inner book, Jennifer helps us rethink mornings, not as something to conquer, but as something to receive.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're talking about morning archetypes, rhythms, instead of routines, and how empty nesters can create meaningful graceful mornings that actually fit real life.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome, Jennifer.
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is so fun.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: We get to talk.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: We get to converse about one of my favorite topics and you're one of my favorite people.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: So this is this is going to be amazing.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Jennifer, first of all, I would love to know what inspired you to write your book.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it was my daughter's idea.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was Lydia's idea or all this daughter.
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, I know it was like solid what down like this.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was a morning and we were on vacation.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Scott was still like sleeping in good for him.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's awesome.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's a farmer.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: He deserves it.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but Lydia and Anna and I were awake and we had already gotten our favorite espresso.
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: We watched the sunrise.
• 2:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were going to do Bible study.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: We had this whole list of things that we wanted to do that morning.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I said to the girls, I wish that mornings were longer.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're just, there's just so many things I love about a morning, especially a vacation morning.
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's be honest.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: But Lydia put her hands down, flat on the table, and she said, Mom, you need to write a book about mornings.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, what?
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she's, you've been, this has been who you are since we were little kids, the way that you made mornings for us and that everything would be better in the morning and saw everything as a fresh start with God.
• 3:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I never even, I didn't even really know I was a morning person.
• 3:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like that didn't even really occur to me.
• 3:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: But that very morning on vacation, I began to study the mornings mentioned in the Bible and what I discovered blew me away.
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then over the course of a year, I studied all 200 plus mornings in scripture and I'm like, this is my next book.
• 3:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even really know what it would mean or where it was leading.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: but that was how this book came to be.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Every other book panel I've written out of a place of lack of some problem that God has had to fix in me and that I can impart that wisdom from the Lord to people who might have a similar problem.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm a control freak.
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wrote, it's all under control.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm always in a hurry so I wrote growing slow.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: You get the idea.
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this book actually came out of a place of something that I've done not perfectly, but decently well.
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: and at my age it feels good to be able to stand in that authority and write from that place because after we've been around a few decades, we've learned a few things.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: God is taught as a few things.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's where this book came out of and that's where the idea came from most one of my daughters.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's so beautiful.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have always been a morning person, even in college.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: People would stay up late and study and I feel like,
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I would go home, crawl in bed, sat in the alarm for five a.m. and write my papers in the morning or study in the morning.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've been like that.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I just, there's morning, it's so beautiful, it's so wonderful.
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm so glad to have the conversation.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: First of all, I think it'd be awesome to address emptiness moms and you write about how mornings can sometimes feel stressful and chaotic before even hit the floor.
• 5:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: So why do you think mornings hold so much emotional power especially for women in midlife or the emptiness?
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so for all women, morning's hold power because they really set the tone for the day and they get our footing and our intentions in order at this stage of the game, I'm not talking just about what we think of as quiet time, which is really important to have some kind of time with God, how many of our minutes that looks like for you.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm also talking about how we take care of our bodies.
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: just take your meds, go drink some water, go move your body, eat some protein, we just need all of those things.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's really when Jesus says to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: that is a rhythm that we can follow in our mornings.
• 5:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So our heart and soul is obviously coming before the Lord and laying our burdens before Him and learning more about Him and is character in the Bible.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then with our mind, like the racing mind that we have about our kids who are
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: in another neighborhood or halfway around the world, and then for our strength, I think about loving the Lord with my strength as also my physical strength, my body taking care of this body.
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think for empty nesters, there's really specific challenges, but also some opportunities for us in this stage, which I am in.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in this season of mornings for empty nesters,
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: mornings can lack the structure that they once had because we suddenly don't have the demands of getting kids to school and so it can be easy to feel ameless or purposeless and then let our mornings slip by.
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Many empty nesters especially right at the beginning of the empty nest season can experience like a sense of loss or loneliness in a really quiet house.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, we used to think, wow, my quiet time is anything but quiet.
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now it's quiet.
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then on top of it, even I both know we've got these physical changes like disrupted sleep.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't sleep well in the last night.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: We got reduced energy.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe some aches and pains and all of those things can really impact how we start the day.
• 7:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to give women's space to acknowledge that these challenges are there.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: but coming at it with intentionality to build habits to support as I mentioned both body and soul.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that said, there are these opportunities as well because for me as an empty nester, I felt like I had this opportunity to reimagine my mornings.
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's no doubt that there are fewer interruptions and maybe
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: fewer responsibilities depending on what your season of life looks at.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it looks like, but there is, it seems to me, new space to provide time with God through prayer and Bible study.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I always, I feel like I've been able and more intentional about focusing on my physical health, whether it's taking a morning walk, having a nutritious breakfast instead of just having a
• 8:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: or like, there were times when I had to take them to early morning practices.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now I get to start my day with a workout quite often.
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there are many different opportunities as well.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I do acknowledge that there are some challenges for us.
• 8:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's involved.
• 8:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's involved.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: There are so many beautiful things.
• 8:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: There are hard things.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I love this just shift of understanding.
• 8:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It encompasses so much more than our quiet time.
• 8:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And honestly, sometimes when people say quiet time, I'm like, we got to reframe that.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, in your book, you talk about discovering your morning archetype.
• 8:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: First of all, I would love to hear what those are.
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love the word archetype because it sounds very sophisticated.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: It has some like three-spin sophisticated people.
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's basically morning personality categories, and it's based on our personal traits and interests.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So when I started to research this book, I spent a lot of time studying the various habits and morning rituals of people who were successful, people who had faith and tried to find a way to
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: But find one tried and true way at making a morning successful.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it became clear to me that there was no one's size if it's all morning ritual.
• 9:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not only because of life stages, I'll stay at home, mom versus an empty nister versus a widow, but each of us has different things that have us come alive in the morning.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's where these morning archetypes come in.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there's four different types and there's going to be one of them that sounds superior.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you'll know which one it is when I get there, but they're all, they're all equal.
• 9:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I should I tell you the four?
• 9:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would love to.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 9:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the first one is the daybreak doer, and this kind of person is ready to hit the ground running.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: They feel almost relaxed when they have a clear sense of what's ahead for the day.
• 10:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they're probably really most productive in those first hours of the day.
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: So fitting the typical early bird profile that you might think of, like they can do a lot in the morning.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: But
• 10:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even just the little tasks get them going, so maybe it's reviewing it to do list or tidying up the kitchen or just mentally preparing for a work assignment, whatever it is.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then you got the morning mover.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this archetype is really functioning best if they could get physically moving in the morning.
• 10:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: It moving helps kick-start our metabolism and our mood.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it doesn't have to be like this big, strenuous thing.
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: It could be a high cardio workout, but it also might just be like taking the dog for a walk around the block or a 10-minute stretch routine.
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So then the third one is the meditative mind, and this is the person who is drawn to a morning ritual that includes prayer and Bible study journaling other quiet activities with God.
• 10:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So as you might guess, this is the one that we think that's the one I should be.
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I should be that.
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: But...
• 11:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not all of us have that, but I'm so grateful for the meditative minds in my life.
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: The people that I know that start right away with the meditative practices, because it sets for them a foundation of calmness, gratitude, and trust, and Jesus.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, that doesn't mean that if we are morning mover, we don't participate in those activities.
• 11:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we might, we probably want to do the movement first, and I'll explain why in a second.
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: The fourth type is the social seeker.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And these people crave social interaction right away to give you a sense of connection and purpose and energy.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe your, maybe your husband is a social secret, like immediately, you just want a little bit of quiet, but he's immediately wanting to tell you a story or connect with you socially, give you a hug, whatever it happens to be.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think we probably have all known a child that needed some kind of physical touch in the morning.
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: My mom is
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not only an empty nest, she's a retiree and a widow, and she seeks connection on Facebook, which can get a bad rap.
• 12:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: But for her, it's a greedily to start the day.
• 12:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's fun for her to check her phone and see.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: She tracks all of us on fine, my friends.
• 12:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: She loves to see where we are and what we're up to.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: So those are the four types, but the thing that is really important about these is that knowing your archetype is so helpful for you, for me, as we begin to customize our morning ritual, incorporating activities that are common to your type will help you begin the day with something
• 12:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I am a morning mover, I'm going to set out my workout clothes and set my alarm for 507 and before I have more concentrated quiet time with God, I'm going to go work out.
• 12:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I am a social secret, then I'm going to check out my family.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go talk to my, see how my adult children are doing, those kinds of things.
• 13:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: So then you build off of that.
• 13:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully, we would incorporate all of those into a morning routine, and I explain in the book how to do that.
• 13:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I think it's really important to have something that you feel like this is worth waking up for.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's beautiful.
• 13:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: What I hear in those types is so much grace and honoring yourself for how God wire you.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, instead of having this narrow view of, if you love Jesus, this is what your morning should look like.
• 13:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: It just broadens it and gives you space to go really add rather tackled this first, if you're the one who likes to get things done or go for a walk or whatever.
• 13:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's beautiful.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think, bull.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is.
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: It really is.
• 13:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think two about like widows that, and maybe you have some listeners who are in that space, I spoke with a lot like hundreds of widows, retirees, empty nesters, working professional stay-at-home moms, to create guides at the back of the book.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's like the empty nesters guide to mornings.
• 14:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're in it, Pamela.
• 14:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: you're put this moving for your podcast is a recommendation in the book itself in in case where was I going oh brain fog okay this is also a symptom of empty nest yeah hello menopause we love you just let's make it oh menopause okay so I think that I was saying that whatever if you
• 14:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: don't put yourself in a box of what morning's should look like you're going to be able to wake up with more of a sense of purpose and moving forward with your day and with intention.
• 14:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's just the little spark to get you going.
• 14:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will say I wish there was that I had created like a fifth type and that would be the caffeine archetype because Jesus, I don't think he wants anything to do with me
• 14:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, same time, coffee Bible, coffee, get out of bed, coffee Bible.
• 15:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: On it for so many years, I wouldn't even know how to do it a different way.
• 15:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: forward to my first cup of coffee before I go to bed the night before I see I think about it yes and I smell it and I go oh I get coffee in the morning you should have had that hey mama if your house feels too quiet and your heart feels too heavy after launching your child I've created a guide just for you it's
• 15:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: A gentle, faith-filled resource to help you process the deep of motions of letting go.
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Inside, you'll find six reflection questions that will help you name your feelings, invite God into the grief and experience his comfort in the middle of change.
• 15:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Remember, transitional grief is only a season and God is leading you toward peace, purpose, and joy.
• 15:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can grab your free copy at the link in the show notes.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to hear a little bit about the emphasis between rhythms over rigid routines.
• 16:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why is that distinction so important?
• 16:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so what does that look like?
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: That is such a good question.
• 16:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of us have heard about morning routines.
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: We see them all the time on Instagram and TikTok.
• 16:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like this hashtag has been shared billions of times.
• 16:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And a morning routine is you do this and then you do this.
• 16:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And for me, one thing is that morning routine feels routine.
• 16:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not very motivated by something that feels like a routine or something that feels performative.
• 16:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: What I am motivated by is something that feels like a ritual.
• 16:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Something that just by virtue of its name carries with it a certain sacredness or a holiness.
• 16:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So these little things that we do can add so much to our morning period of time before we really get out and running in the world.
• 16:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like I have a coffee ritual.
• 17:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't call it just making coffee.
• 17:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I, when I am pulling the shot out of the espresso machine, waiting for it to fill my favorite cup, then I am participating with God in my coffee ritual.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, thank you, God, for this new day.
• 17:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for.
• 17:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: the farmers that made these, this coffee for whoever made this cup, it's like, it becomes something special just because I say out loud, this is my coffee ritual.
• 17:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's something that I look forward to and that feels connected to God.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then I have my candlelighting ritual and this has been centuries that churches have done this that candlelight is often a part of creating a holy atmosphere inside of a church building.
• 17:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it is so simple for me, it didn't even look pretty.
• 17:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not like Instagram aesthetic.
• 17:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just some little like Walmart candle that I lie and it smells pretty.
• 17:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: It just has me like, that's beautiful.
• 17:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Really calm space and that candle lighting ritual becomes a part of my Bible reading ritual.
• 18:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I stack all these things up on top of each other and I have something that doesn't feel
• 18:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: something that I have to do, but it's something that I get to do in partnership with God.
• 18:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like my exercise is part of my ritual.
• 18:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like God is in that with me when I take care of my body, when I eat right.
• 18:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's right there with me in that ritual.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's beautiful.
• 18:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just about opening your eyes to God's presence right here.
• 18:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Wherever you are, the minute you wake up, put your feet on the floor, just acknowledging him, and then taking him, you know what I'm going to do?
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have never done that.
• 18:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love it.
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: It just feels good.
• 18:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think in this way, and maybe we're going to get to this, but it's so important to see ourselves as morning people, despite what time we wake up.
• 18:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you, when you see yourself as a morning person, you're not saying, I got up at 5 AM, you're saying, I got up with God.
• 18:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever time I got up, whether it was 7 AM or 8 AM.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when you name yourself, well, how you name yourself really shapes how you live.
• 19:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: you're going to pretty much always enter the day feeling defeated before you even begin.
• 19:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when you begin to believe that you are a morning person, you're not just claiming a label, you're setting the trajectory for how you want to live the rest of the day.
• 19:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're stepping into the rhythm, the ritual of God's world in aligning your life and your work with His.
• 19:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I really try to get people to see is like you're a morning person because
• 19:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, it is not matter what time you wake up, even if you have to just say, okay, fine, I'm a morning person in progress.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Be grudgingly.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, Barney.
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to hear about how you studied every morning mentioned in the Bible.
• 19:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: What did you learn?
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: What did you learn?
• 19:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it was so fun.
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I cried when I stepped when I got to the end of all of the study, and I wrote a Bible study to go with this book out of Lepia Morning.
• 20:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had so much fun.
• 20:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I'd read these mornings many times, but all of a sudden they showed me that God is always doing something new that he's doing these metaphorical things, verses that we know we being may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning in the in songs.
• 20:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We know that his mercies are new every morning.
• 20:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a metaphor, but wow that was written
• 20:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: In Lamentations, which is a book of lament, is basically like a funeral song.
• 20:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a really low point in our biblical history.
• 20:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Jerusalem was in ruins.
• 20:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Families were separated.
• 20:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: People were hungry.
• 20:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And yet, the author of Lamentations says that his mercies are new.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Every morning, that's...
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: how we're full for us.
• 20:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: We see it like cross-stitched on a pillow or on our coffee mug or whatever, and it seems all that's cute and nice, but when you look at the history of that verse, that's packed that says a lot.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there are these metaphorical mornings, but there's also these specific mornings where some of the most incredible things in all of the biblical narrative unfold in a morning.
• 21:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: For instance, the very first thing that God created on this earth,
• 21:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: was a morning.
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: When he said, let there be light.
• 21:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Beautiful.
• 21:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then, of course, we end this story of this grand heavenly story in Revelation with the bright morning star, where there is no more light and God's glory is lighting up the whole world.
• 21:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's the most critical mornings in all of history.
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: The morning when Jesus was crucified,
• 21:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: and the morning when he rose from the grave.
• 21:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just again and again, you look in the morning Jesus, in the morning Moses, in the morning Abraham, in the morning.
• 21:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Joshua, like, if you go back and in the morning Jacob, it's just again and again, early in the morning.
• 22:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: This time of the morning, it doesn't matter.
• 22:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just morning is this place of new things happening in opportunity to start again, to be obedient to God's call on your life, to get up and go when he says go, it's powerful.
• 22:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: He has, I believe it.
• 22:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just the other day,
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: like a hard day and I remember saying to him, I'm just so glad that some mercies are new tomorrow and they were, you wake up and you get to start again and it's amazing.
• 22:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's true.
• 22:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know about you if did you tell your kids this or did you have a parent that would say to you
• 22:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it seems like this just this throwaway phrase, but that's essentially what God is saying to us.
• 22:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is more than a comforting phrase.
• 23:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: It reflects this truth that has really impacted the human soul across cultures, across literature, across oral traditions, for centuries.
• 23:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that is the thread of hope that ties the entire biblical narrative together, that everything will be better in the morning.
• 23:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's God's promise to us with the verse that you're speaking of.
• 23:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that, I love that.
• 23:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just, it's an amazing, it's astonishing.
• 23:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: We wonderful.
• 23:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh gosh, so I want to address a little bit, sometimes emptiness moms feel the pressure to make the most of the mornings now that they have more time.
• 23:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: How does your book help women develop a fresh morning mindset without falling into productivity, guilt or spiritual striving?
• 23:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because we know that's a reality for a lot of women.
• 23:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, the whole book is built around this philosophy of God's view on mornings.
• 24:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it really, as I mentioned, I really resisted the urge to find a one-size-fits-all.
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is the ritual that's going to work for everybody.
• 24:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And instead, I came at it from, how can I help people in these different seasons of life?
• 24:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, at the back of the book, there is this whole section about empty nesters, and it's created by empty nesters.
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: giving ideas of the things that they do and the challenges that they face in this new way of living and this new kind of morning.
• 24:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think one thing as as I was collecting their tips and putting them in the book and then we created a sample morning ritual that you can take
• 24:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: what works in set aside, but one thing I really could see is that this stage of life wasn't just about recapturing hours of time.
• 24:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Some of the women are busier than ever.
• 24:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: They've taken on new hobbies.
• 24:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: They've maybe added a different job to their life or they're traveling more, which can make morning rituals hard to keep.
• 25:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: But what I did notice is that there was a real intentionality with reconnection, not about the time, like not about time.
• 25:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: But reconnecting with spouses, reconnecting with friendships that have gone by this wayside, nurturing, relationships with adult children.
• 25:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: People talked about women, talked about using their mornings to pray for loved ones because parenting is so different.
• 25:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: when you're an empty nester and I'm never prayed more for my kids than when they're now I'm like not parenting in the same traditional way ways to serve in the workplace and the church and the community it's really an opportunity to reinvent your mornings not to make them
• 25:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: perfect or look like the ones on Instagram.
• 25:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think we can get into this idea that we have to follow this aesthetic.
• 25:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 25:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like where you're getting up at 5 a.m. and then you're going to run a half marathon and then you're going to have a smashed avocado on artisan toast points and then a perfectly flat, fraught, fraught latte.
• 26:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then exit the entire book of Leviticus on and on all before 8 a.m. and it's my entire
• 26:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: That to me just feels exhausting.
• 26:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: The tips and the ideas and the philosophy of morning really helps you create the one that works for you.
• 26:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even among emptinessers, it's going to be very different depending on if you're working outside of the home.
• 26:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: What time you wake up?
• 26:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: What if you have a spouse if you don't if you're trying to make things go on their own?
• 26:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there is an sample morning ritual, but you can also create your own.
• 26:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we have a chart where you're like this is what I'm gonna do to nurture my heart and soul This is what I'm gonna do to love the Lord my God with all my heart and soul Every morning with my mind every morning with my strength every morning so that you could love the Lord your God with all of your morning Every morning
• 26:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: for how it looks for you is so grace filled.
• 27:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: The whole process is very grace filled.
• 27:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: For love that, I love that.
• 27:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Gosh, I cannot wait to read this.
• 27:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to close with one, one final question.
• 27:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: For the emptiness mom who wants to love her morning split feels overwhelmed or ill-equipped.
• 27:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: What is one small doable shift she could make tomorrow to begin creating a morning rhythm that leads to her flourishing.
• 27:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's so good.
• 27:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: One thing that's worked for me and that apparently worked for Mother Teresa, because she's the one that taught me about this, she had instructed people that as their eyes open to a new day to say simply good morning to Jesus as you begin your day.
• 27:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And before I put my feet on the floor, before I pick up my phone, before I let the worries of the day, which will be waiting for me, crowd my mind, to have this simple moment with God, counts that counts as connecting with God.
• 28:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: That counts as meditative mind type of stuff, right?
• 28:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're handing God this day just to say good morning Jesus, you're saying it's morning, this morning you're going to be good because you're in it and you're talking to God before you're talking to anybody else or before anybody is coming to you with their needs so that's one thing that all of us could do.
• 28:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can all do that.
• 28:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's perfect, Jennifer.
• 28:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Gosh, I want to thank you for being with us today.
• 28:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And for reminding us that loving our mornings isn't about fixing ourselves.
• 28:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's about framing our days with grace and understanding that God is right here in the middle of our beautiful mornings.
• 28:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And Jennifer, before we leave, can you tell my listeners where to find you online and how to pre-order your book, which releases on April 7.
• 28:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're just days away.
• 28:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my goodness!
• 28:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, this is so fun because we are talking in the pre-order phase.
• 28:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have so many pre-order goodies.
• 28:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my goodness!
• 28:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can I tell you about my life?
• 28:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, give it a go.
• 29:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so you can find me at JenniferDukeslee.com everywhere that's JenniferDukeslee is on Instagram, Facebook, that's my website name, but we also have a website how to love your morning.com that has everything you need to know about ordering the book
• 29:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: There, if you order more than five or more copies, you actually get a morning person in progress, t-shirt.
• 29:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you get a morning person in progress, stickers for your, like your water bottle or your coffee mug or whatever.
• 29:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Also, if you order just one book, you get the morning survival kit, mail directly to your inbox, and you get early access to all of the how to love your morning Bible study videos.
• 29:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: So good!
• 29:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Awesome!
• 29:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to leave all those links in the show notes, so everybody can get them easily.
• 29:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Mama, whether you wake up energized or exhausted, joyful or heavy-hearted, this is your reminder.
• 29:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to become a different person to experience God's mercies.
• 30:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't need a perfect routine, just a rhythm that fits with your real life and the way God made you.
• 30:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: God meets us exactly where we are when we wake up.
• 30:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And here's your coaching tip of the week.
• 30:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: In each episode, I will give you one actionable step to improve your life.
• 30:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Remember, you can't change everything, but you can take one step to be better.
• 30:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So this week, I want you to decide one thing that you will add to your morning rhythm, make it a ritual.
• 30:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: That would be life-giving and to help you feel closer to God.
• 30:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's all I have to do.
• 30:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Try it.
• 30:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if today's conversation encouraged you, I'd love you to share this episode with a fellow emptiness mom.
• 30:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And be sure to check out how to love your morning.
• 30:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a beautiful invitation to begin each day with hope.
• 30:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: No matter what season you're in.
• 30:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Grayson, peace mama, you've got this and God's got you.
• 30:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for spending time with me on the midlife mama podcast.
• 30:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: My hope is that you leave each episode feeling encouraged, grounded, and clearer.
• 31:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Clear about what you're feeling, what God may be stirring in you, and how to move forward in the season of the empty nest.
• 31:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Through these conversations, I'm not just sharing stories, I'm coaching you, helping you name what's happening beneath the service, challenging the thoughts that keep you stuck and take intentional steps toward peace and confidence as a midlife mom.
• 31:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're ready to go deeper and want personalized coaching support, I invite you to apply for coaching.
• 31:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Coaching is a focused one-on-one space where we work together to gain clarity, process emotions, and discern what God is calling you to in this next chapter.
• 31:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: You'll find the application linked in the show notes, and let's stay connected.
• 31:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can find me on Instagram at P-Hinkleman, that's P-H-E-N-K-E-L, M-A-N, or on Facebook at Pamela Hinkleman, M-D-N-S-Coach.
• 31:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to figure out the season alone mama, support and direction are possible, and I'm here when you're ready.