Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose...The Power of Saying "No" with Sherri Shepherd

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I Choose...The Power of Saying "No" with Sherri Shepherd · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi. Everyone,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: welcome to the I Choose Me Podcast. This podcast is
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: all about the choices we make and where they lead us.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I have such a good guest today, but before we
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: get into that, I have an exciting announcement you guys.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I am hosting our very first I Choose Me Live
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: women's empowerment event right here in Los Angeles on Saturday,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: January eleventh, and I want you to come. The whole
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I Choose Me movement started as three little words in
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: a script on Beverly Hills, Nana two and to oh.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: It has now evolved into something so much more than that.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: It is a message that I feel so passionate about
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  Speaker 1: and it needs to continue to be amplified. The One
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Day Lady Party will be focused on self care and
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: self love. We're going to have a great panel, powerful women,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: lunch cocktails. It is going to be amazing. So start
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: the new year off right by choosing yourself. Or you
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: can make it a fun getaway trip to beautiful California
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: with your friends. I don't know, whatever it takes, just
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: get here. I can't wait to see you. All tickets
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: are on sale now, and all of the info will
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: be in our show notes. I hope you come. My
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: guest today is a comedian and actress, a best selling author,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: and the host of her own Emmy nominated and NAACP
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  Speaker 1: Image Award winning talk show. She's also the co host
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: of the hilarious podcast Too Fuddy Mamas. Please welcome Sherry
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Sheppard to the podcast.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Hello.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I just loved being on your show recently. It was
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: such a fun, positive experience. Oh and your gorgeous makeup lady.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I can't remember her name, Nanni. Yes, she let me
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: hold her beautiful little baby dog.
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  Speaker 2: Ah.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: It made me so happy.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I'll tell her that. Yeah.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: And we are Q fifty sisters, which is so cool.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: So I'm really really glad that we get to talk
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: to Dan go a little deep.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, this is fun.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I mean you're basically the poster child for the age
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  Speaker 1: of possibility. I mean you've you've had some time to
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: adjust now to this big, you know, next chapter in
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  Speaker 1: your life, turning fifty. Yeah, but go back. What was
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  Speaker 1: it like as you entered into your fifties?
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  Speaker 2: Horrible? I want I tell you, I'm fifty, I'm fifty seven,
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  Speaker 2: and when I turned fifty. I Jinny, I thought my
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: life was over. I thought it was downhill. I just
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: had all of this doom and gloom about what it
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: was going to be like. And I said to my assistant,
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: I don't want anybody to call me. Don't give me
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: the phone. I don't want gifts. I'm going to save
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: my room and cry. And if you even bother me,
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: you're fired, Like Larry, That's how bad it was. And
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: a friend, a dear friend of mine, what he sent
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: me changed my life. He went to, you know when
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: you can like send your photos to like snapfish, not
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: the cheating website, but it was, you know, you download
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: your photos and you can make a photo book. He
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: had asked me probably six months prior. He said, Cherry,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: if you were to have a party, who would you invite? Like,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: who were your top ten friends you'd invite? So I
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: told them. He went to all of those friends and
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: he said, I'm doing a birthday book for Sherry. Can
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: you write a story of what she means to you
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: and send me a picture? And he created this wonderful
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: book about turning fifty and Jenny, when I opened the
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  Speaker 2: book and I saw everybody had a story about what
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  Speaker 2: I meant to them. I couldn't stop crying, and immediately
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  Speaker 2: my paradigm shifted about being fifty because I thought, this
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: is the sum total of who I am. I made
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  Speaker 2: such a difference in these folks' lives, and if I
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: wasn't around, it would be a real big loss to them.
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  Speaker 2: That's what they're saying in these letters. And I just
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  Speaker 2: after that, I looked at fifty different. I said, this
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  Speaker 2: is it literally was age of possibilities. This is like
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  Speaker 2: life is short. Take the bull by the horns, try
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  Speaker 2: some stuff you've never tried before. Go for it.
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  Speaker 1: I love this book idea. I'm gonna do that. But yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I'm sure that just made you feel so seen and
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  Speaker 1: so like everything that you've done so far in this
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  Speaker 1: life of yours has had such a beautiful impact on
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  Speaker 1: not just people everywhere, but really important people to you personally.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's a book that I've done for people in
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  Speaker 2: my life, and I can see how much it means
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  Speaker 2: to them, you know, because you can sit down when
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  Speaker 2: you're feeling down and go through this book of the
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  Speaker 2: people and what an impact you know you've made. So Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: and relationships are important to me.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so much has happened to you since you turned fifty,
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  Speaker 1: like so many great things. Well, I mean, you have
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: your very own talk show.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Now a talk show, it's more acting has come in.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I'm writing a children's book which has been so much
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: fun for me.
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  Speaker 1: What's it about.
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  Speaker 2: It's called The Sunshine Queens, and it's really all of
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: my stories that I go through with my girlfriends and
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  Speaker 2: how they lift me up and how we're so close,
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  Speaker 2: and we're putting it into a format four an eight
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  Speaker 2: year old about confidence, about self esteem, what happens when
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: you fall, how do you get back up? And it's
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  Speaker 2: really all of my stories with my girlfriends, and we're
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  Speaker 2: putting that in a book with four girls who just
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  Speaker 2: have these great adventures together. And they're called the Sunshine
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  Speaker 2: Queens because they all love to smile.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, this is gonna be good.
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  Speaker 2: I'm very excited about it. I mean from the from
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: the beginning to picking the characters and what their hair
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  Speaker 2: looks like. And you know, I said, oh, I gotta
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  Speaker 2: one's got to have braces because my girlfriend has a
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: visile line that she's always losing her visil line. So
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: you got to get somebody braces. We gotta you know,
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: there's me. You gotta make me. It's a character based
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: on me. So I gotta be a little chubby little
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: you know what, a cute little smile.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, it's like a world of creativity for you.
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  Speaker 2: I love the creativity. I love the sketches and the stories.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: So I'm very excited about this book.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm excited to see it because we need more
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  Speaker 1: messaging like that for the youngest of the young. We
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: got to start giving them all this positive stuff that
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: we have learned.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Absolutely just pay you need. You know, having girlfriends is
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: a big deal. I believe we can't move forward without
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: women being undergirding us and encourage and those friends, those
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: deep friendships. This life is like, this is hard going
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  Speaker 2: through life.
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  Speaker 1: If you don't have anybody it is You're so right,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: do you like? How many really close, tight girlfriends do
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  Speaker 1: you have?
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  Speaker 2: Not many? You know? I probably five.
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  Speaker 1: That's good. That's a good number.
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  Speaker 2: Probably five girlfriends that I have that are just I'm
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: so we've been really really close. And then now I'm
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: bringing in new people because sometimes you need younger people
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: to keep you young, you know. And I'll meet people
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: on the show like it's just yourself and I'm like, wow,
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  Speaker 2: they're so cool, so so cool.
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  Speaker 1: I know, and then you didn't even know, Like, and
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  Speaker 1: everybody has something to offer, like something that they can
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  Speaker 1: bring into your life that you didn't even see coming.
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  Speaker 2: Like it's not wild absolutely, And that's the thing. If
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  Speaker 2: you're open to it, somebody can bring something in your
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  Speaker 2: life that is so wonderful, something that you never thought.
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  Speaker 2: You can get something from every body, you's got to
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  Speaker 2: be open to it.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the key is being open, staying open, and
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  Speaker 1: that's very vulnerable. That's a feeling of you know, that's
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  Speaker 1: very scary feeling for a lot of people.
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  Speaker 2: It is because you have to open up and you
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  Speaker 2: have to you have to be willing to be hurt.
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  Speaker 2: Which nobody who wants to be hurt. Who wants to
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  Speaker 2: go into something knowing that you could be hurt. But
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  Speaker 2: I think that if you've being if you're willing to
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  Speaker 2: open yourself up, that's when you get the maximum from it.
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  Speaker 1: I agree, I agree. I'm curious. You seem so grounded
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  Speaker 1: and so confident and so in your body. I love
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  Speaker 1: that about you. I always have. Have you ever dealt
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: with imposter syndrome?
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  Speaker 2: You know? I I haven't dealt with it lately. Now
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  Speaker 2: I'm really embracing who I am and knowing my place
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  Speaker 2: in this world and what I bring is pretty unique.
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  Speaker 2: But yeah, even up until a few years ago, always
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: feeling like they're going to find out who I am
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  Speaker 2: is not who I portray, and then when they find out,
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  Speaker 2: they're not gonna want me. That took a lot to
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  Speaker 2: get over. That took a lot to get over. It's
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: a lot of you know, me prayer, knowing that God,
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  Speaker 2: God has ordained this in my life, that it's divinely ordered.
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  Speaker 2: It's you know, he gave me a skill set. I mean,
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  Speaker 2: I think I had a full blown panic attack before
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I started the first day of my show.
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  Speaker 1: I can imagine express a lot of pressure.
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  Speaker 2: I had a full blown panic attack. And I said,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: because we were supposed to you know, everybody who does
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  Speaker 2: I'm the only talk show host who does a monologue.
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  Speaker 2: Ellen used to do it, but nobody else does it.
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  Speaker 2: And they wanted me to do a monologue. And I'm like,
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  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, we didn't have a comedy writer. Every
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: talk show host, Jimmy ca Ellen, they all had like
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: they all have like twelve comedy writers who they give
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: them jokes. They feed them NonStop jokes. So for the
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: first season it was me. Season and a half, it
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  Speaker 2: was me coming up with all of my material, and
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I panicked because I said, what am I supposed to
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  Speaker 2: talk about? Like I don't like, how do I come out?
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  Speaker 2: Do I come out and go this is a monologue.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I'm doing comedy. What do I say? And like, well,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: I couldn't breathe. My heart was beating, and something said,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: a voice within said, talk about what Oprah told you,
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: the advice that Oprah gave you, Because I had talked
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: to Oprah that weekend for an hour and she gave
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: me advice. And I said, I can't talk about Oprah.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: That was like sacred, that's private, and that voice said, no,
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: there's some very funny stuff that Oprah gave you. The
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: way you look at it, it's funny. And so I
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: asked Oprah, is there some things that I can talk about?
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: And she said, absolutely, do what you want to do.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: And I came out and I started talking about how
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: nervous I was in my conversation with Oprah and it
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: was really funny. Oprah was like, oh my god, I
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: didn't know do I say I don't like that, do I?
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: And so I started realizing, you know what this talk
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: show was, It was a blessing. And I have to
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: walk into what has already been written for me, what
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: has already been prepared for me that place, walk in
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: it and be confident. Sherry. You know who you are.
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  Speaker 2: You know you have the experience. You've been given the
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: gift to make people laugh. Lean into it, and right
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: before the door opens when they say welcome, Sherry Shepherd.
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  Speaker 2: Some days I feel like, oh, I don't have any jokes.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not funny. And my prayer is I always pray
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: for the audience. I pray that God will make them
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: feel better than when they came. And I also pray
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  Speaker 2: for my live audience and the audience that's watching me. God,
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: show them that side of you that is laughter, Show
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: them that side of you that is you laugh straight
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: from your belly, that side of laughter and that side
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  Speaker 2: of light, and show them you through me. And I
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: ask for fresh mercy and fresh grace and fresh jokes.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: And the door opens up, and I'll just walk out
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: and I go, this is what was given to me,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: And if it was given to me, then He's gonna
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: give me everything to see it through.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: That's right, because that's what they say. You're never given
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  Speaker 1: something you can't handle.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I sit in that chair, I don't think
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: about it anymore, sitting in that chair, and jokes just
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: come to me. Funny just comes to me.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Well, that's because you're just funny. I mean, jeez, speaking
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: of funny. Everything that you do, all the things that
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: you're doing, and you still make time to go out
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: there and do comedy shows. Why is it important for
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: you to keep flexing that muscle? And what is it
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: that you love about getting out there on stage and
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: making people laugh.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I love stand up comedy so much. That's my first love.
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  Speaker 2: That's what I started doing before I became an actress.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: I was a legal secretary and I took the other
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: secretaries with me to the world famous comedy store and
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I got bit by the bug at that comedy club.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: And if you go by the comedy store right now,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: it's on Sunset near Lo Sienega. And if you look
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: above the main room, all the way to the right,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: above the main room door, my name is the third
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: from the top, Sherry Shepherd. When they painted my name,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, so you can see
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: my name is one of the original comics there, not
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: the original because they had a lot of comics before me.
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  Speaker 1: You started in like nineteen ninety.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like probably about eighty nine, and I auditioned twenty
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: three times for Mitzy Shore at the Comedy Store. She
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: made me a regular. What do you talk about? What's
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: your name? Yeah, And I've been a regular there, and
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: I became a regular at the laugh Factory, and a
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: regular at the Improv and a regular at Ice House
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: in Pasadena. So you know, that is my first love.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: Because I'm on stage, That's kind of what the talk
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: show reminds me of. I'm by myself, there's nobody else,
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: and I'm sharing stuff that I know that the audience
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: is gone through too. There's somebody in that audience that
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: has children. There's somebody in that audience that has a
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: teenage boy who doesn't want you to come into their bedroom,
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: and their bedroom smells like somebody came in and died.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: There's five dead people in your son's room. There's somebody
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: whose son used X way too much. You know. There's
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: somebody in that audience who's been single and they're trying
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: to date and they're going through it, and I love
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: telling those stories. And that's what I get to do
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: on my talk show, an extension of what I do
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: on stage. So I do stand up even still because
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: it's so much fun to go on stage and know
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: that I can make somebody feel better with the story
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: that I'm talking about.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Right, because everybody can relate to you. You're a very relatable,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: real person.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: You can reach so many people. What do you do
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: to prioritize yourself, like your self care?
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: I'm still working on that, Jenny. I have to say,
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: because this is a unique situation. When I was co
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: hosting on the View, if I didn't feel good, there
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: were four other women who could hold down the fort
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: and they could put a guest host in that place
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: of me, and I could stay home. I didn't have
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: to go visit affiliates. Barbara Walters did that. I didn't.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: You know, if I couldn't go and see a play
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: that you were doing on Broadway, there was somebody else
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: could fill in and go see that play or read
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: that book. You have a talk show and it's just you.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: I have to do all of that myself, and I
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: can't call in sick because if I call him sick.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: There's two hundred people here that don't work, that don't
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: get paid. If I call in sick, they have to
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: show a rerun, and reruns don't do as well as
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: the original programming. So you know, there's nobody that I
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: can put in to take my place. So it's a
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: lot more responsibility and it doesn't stop after I say,
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: you know, you know, come back tomorrow. Then if there
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: is somebody that dropped out, they call me. If they're
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: looking for a booking, can you call that person shry
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: if they have to do a you know, change up something.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: They call me for every aspect of the show. So
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: I'm always on my cell phone to come up with
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: my hot topics. I'm always on the cell phone looking
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: for interesting items. Zoe Kravitz and Channing Tatum broke up.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that means Lenny krab It is not
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: taking me to the wedding. I send that to my
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: team and got we gotta I want to talk about this,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Yet, it's a lot of work. It's the Sherry Show.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: Come on, It's the Sherry Show. It's like you know,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: so it never stops. Plus I got my stand up
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: that I'm doing. I'm writing the children's book. Oh did
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I say I have a nineteen year old son?
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Oh wait, what about the Yeah, the mom roll, the
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: biggest royal ever.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Mom. You know, I'm starting to let my son take
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: the train by himself. My son is on the spectrum,
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: the autism spectrum, so I'm letting him take the train
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: by himself. So it's me in between photo shoots or
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: you know, doing a zoom looking at my thing, going
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: him going, mom, I'm here where I'm supposed to be.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: I just got off the train. So a lot.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: It's so much to juggle.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: It's a lot to juggle. Jeffrey's older now, so I
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: can do a lot more because he's older. But I
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: used to take him to the comedy clubs with me.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: I'd be in there with him on my hip. I
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: would take him to the clubs and go go in
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: the back room. So you don't have to hear Mommy
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: say a curse word. But you know now I have
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: to say intentionally on the weekends, we go and grab
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: something to eat. On a Sunday morning, he and I Intentionally,
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I go, I'm going to go and get a massage. Intentionally,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I say, you know, you have to be intentional about things. Yeah,
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: I asked, somebody, can you take Jeffrey to a Knixt
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: game so I can have time to just go to
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: the movie theater and sit there by myself munch and
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: my popcorn, And that's what I love doing.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: Those are all really great things to take care of yourself.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: But you mentioned something about saying no. I remember you
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: talking about the power of saying no before and it
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: being such a stress reliever. So tell us about the
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: power of no, because it has been a difficult thing
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: for me to learn over the years too.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, because I would get stressed out because I
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: say yes all the time because I had this thing
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: of you know, I wanted people to like me. I
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: don't want to be would be mad at me, so
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: I'll say yes, And what that was doing was putting
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: a lot of stress on me. And then I would
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: resent that I said yes, but you can't. It's easier,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: my pastor said one time, it's easier to change a
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: no into a yes, but it's hard to change it
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: yes into a no. And then I was like, ah,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: now I got to do it, and I tell this
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: person yes, and it was getting stressful and I said Cheer.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: You gotta put up boundaries because a lot of times
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: when you say no, the person will figure out how
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: to get it done. We keep thinking, oh, the world's
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: gonna fall apart if we don't say yes, but literally,
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: the world keeps moving, and so does your frustration. And
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: when you say yes too much, you get sick. It
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: even says when the plane, if something happens to the plane,
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: pull that oxygen mask down and take care of yourself first,
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: because if you're not full, you can't take care of anybody.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: And I had to start saying no. I started out
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: going no, I'm sorry, No, you know I had to
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: do this, and I'd run down everything why I couldn't
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: say yes Now, Jenny, especially at this age, I'm like, Nah, Nope,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: you can't do it. It don't work for me. I
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: know I could loan it to you. I know I
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: got the money to loan it to it. No, you're
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: not getting it. I have turned into that untie.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, because it sounds scary to say
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: no to people.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: I tell young ladies to stand in front of the
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: mirror and practice saying no. Practice five ways to say no.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: No that doesn't work for me. No, but maybe somebody
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: else can do that. No, maybe at a different time. No,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: maybe we can go out next week. No, just practice it.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: It's got it. You got to just start speaking it
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: and saying it. Everything goes where the energy flows is
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: where it goes. So and I've practiced saying no. Now
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: I'm at the point where I go, no, can you
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: do this on No? No? No? No am my off day? No.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: No, I'm gonna try this this technique. I think we
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: should all try this. Let's try all try to say
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: no to ourselves in five different ways. In the mirror.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you no now, I say no, Nuka n it. However,
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I'll say it every night. No. Uh.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Saying no is the ultimate ews me moment.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: I think that's it. And you gotta let go of
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: people thinking you're selfish or you don't care. But it's
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: just like to preserve my sanity and my mental health.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: I can't take all of that on, and I refuse
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: to do it now. Life is too short. I can't
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: remember half the stuff I say yes to, So if
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I say no, then I can always go back and
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: go you know what, Maybe we can't, but I'll stop
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: myself from doing that. Too, I'll let my no be no.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: You made an incredible I choose me moment. I think
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: it was like over a year ago and you decided
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: to get your breast reduction that you shared about that.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: It was so powerful because I think so many women
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: would probably be really afraid to have that done.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: I did it. I've always said, you know, this is
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: what God gave me, So if he gave it to me,
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: why would I cut them? But what happened was it
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: started affecting my body, like they were so heavy, Like
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I came out of the womb. Every woman in my life,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: we all came out of the womb as a forty
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: two double D that runs in my family. I don't
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: have hips in a butt. I got boobs. And what
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: was happening was as I got older, they were so heavy,
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: and I would find myself interviewing people like leaning over
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: because it was so heavy. I tore a part of
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: my rotator cuff, and my chiropractice said, you probably want
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: to think about a breast reduction because you're carrying all
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: of that and it's affecting your rotator cuff. And then
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I was getting grooves in my shoulders from my bra
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: They were starting, you know, when I was in my thirties,
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: my twenties having these big boobs. Oh, they were sitting
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: up front of my chin. After a while, they started
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: looking like I was going to church. I call them
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: church lady booth. It was sitting on my knees and
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: it was just like I could you know everything. It
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: just took too long to find something to wear. I
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: think somebody made a joke at a comedy club because
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: they knew me, and they said, Sherry's boobs are so big.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: She's got like a credit card slide, like you could
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: slide a credit card all the way through. And I'm
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: a comic, I can take a lot. I laughed, but
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: I said, I'm just tired. I think that. I asked
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: a lot of other people who got breast reductions, and
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: I said, I think my little girl's my best friends.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: They've always been my best friends. It's time to say bye.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: And I did a lot of research and I found
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: my lady doctor. She was like amazing and she answered
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: all my questions. And when I went under, I just said,
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: when I go under, you bring me back because I
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: have a son. Because I think, you know, as we
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: get older, going under scares a heck out of us,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: cause I don't know if my heart is gonna skip
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: an extra beat or And I just said to her,
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I looked her in our eyes and I said, I
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: am a mother and I have a child, and when
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: I go under, I need you to bring me back.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: And she was like, okay, Sherry, I do three thousand
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: of these where you think you're going. I was like,
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just saying I don't need to
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: be nobody named Peter, Paul, John or Luke. What I'm saying. No.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: So they did reduce them, and it just feels so
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: much better, like it's lightness. I wish I had done
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: it years ago. I tell people that it's so great. Girl.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: My areola is it's like a quarter. Used to be
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: like a big used to like a big pancake. Now
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: it's like a little quarter. It's nice.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I got that's quarter size.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Good for you, nice quarter size. And she says, you
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: know you'll have a look little scar. And I said, look,
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: if a man can't take a scar at this age,
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: I don't need them. I'm fine.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Oh h, that's good.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: I like you.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: You love your scars. That's good.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: I love them. These cars made a lot.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: I think by you sharing all this and talking about
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: it on your show and everything like there's I think
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: it helps so many people. I know, when I talked
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: about like when I got my hips replaced and I
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: shared that story, so many people just came out of
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: nowhere and wanted to talk about their problems with their
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: hips and how fearful they were of getting a surgery.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: So I think just you know, talking about it is
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: so powerful.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, of taking the fear out of it, you know,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: of having it done. And I think that's It's just
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: you have a lot of women who've had to have
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: that done and they feel a little shame at talking
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: about it. But it's something so natural. We all it's
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: a circle of life that we go through. Things happen,
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: and it's just like, you know, our bodies have done
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: so much for us, but sometimes we got to help
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: them out, yep, to even be better, to live more
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: to you know, I talk about having diabetes all the time.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: Some people say it's not really sexy. Well, I'm not
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: trying to be sexy. I'm trying to live.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my priorities are a little different, things a.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Little different, you know. Yeah, I'm not going. My goal
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: is not to fit into a bikini, but my goal
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: is lived to be able to go to the beach
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: and be healthy.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Feel comfortable. Because you work out like a fiend. I've
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: seen you. We both work out. I've seen your workouts
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: online and you just are such a hard worker. What
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: time do you get up to go to the gym.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: I get up at four forty five in the morning.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: I have to be at the gym. My gym is
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: thirty minutes away, so I have to be there at
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: six in the morning, and it takes me thirty minutes
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: to get there. So I'm there six from six to seven,
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: and then I go straight to work and I literally
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: genmy My goal was, I said, I want working out
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: to be like breathing, like I want to. I want
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: to if I miss a class, I want to like
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: be your to go. And I had to so I
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: had to change the language. So I would go to
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: the gym and make these videos about oh I hate going,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: but I went and I said, I got to stop that,
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: So I started changing my language going. I love getting
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: the chance to take care of me and thank you
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Lord that you're giving me this opportunity for another chance
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: at life and health. And I love how I'm gonna
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: feel after I'm lifting these weights she wants me to
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: do fifteen. I love that my body is just like
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: taking to this. I kept saying, I love going to
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: the gym, even when I didn't feel like it.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: This is so good, this is so good. So changing
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: the dialogue, changing how you speak to certain things, make sure.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Changing how you speak to certain things, and it has worked.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: I do love going to the gym. Now that's hard,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: but I just keep going, Cherry, this is gonna be
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: some fun because your body is gonna thank you. You're
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: gonna feel confident, you're gonna be so when I would
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: go and do the show, I feel so good because
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I even felt like I would say to myself, your
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: body is like leaner. My stomach still look the same.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, but it looked leaner.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: But you feel strong from within though I feel strong.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: That's so good, that's so inspirational. Four forty five. Jeez,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I get up at six am to be there at
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: seven and my gym is thirty minutes away too. We're nuts.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Why don't we just go to like the local gym
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: down the street.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I think by showing you know. And
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: sometimes I take the train to my gym. I think
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: that it requires me to show up. If it was close,
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: I could give them an excuse, Oh something happened, ba
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: ba boh. But this, it shows thirty minutes away shows
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: your commitment. You're committed to going because you gotta go far.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: It takes. If I take a ob back, it takes
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: me forty five minutes to get home, and I fall asleep.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: If I'm not working, I go to sleep in the uber.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: I'm so tired. But I think it helps me keep
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: my amitment. And I go to a woman she's Moroccan
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: and she don't play, and she let me know my
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: time is valuable, so call in more than three times.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: And you got to find another trainer that keeps me
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: on my feet too.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: That's good. Yeah, she's not taking.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: But I get up so early because I like to
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: get it out of the weight. Like if I got
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: to go at three o'clock with hair a wig on
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: and makeup on and lashes, I'm not going to do it.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, it has to be the first thing
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: for me to It.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: Has to be first thing. But you feel I tell
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: people you've never you don't feel bad going after you
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: leave that gym. You don't feel bad that you win, No,
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: and know that the end result is you feel It
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: feels so good and being in this season lifting weights
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: is really really important for our bodies. I think a
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: lot of women don't understand our bones break down as
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: we get older, we start slouching. That's when you know,
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: when you fall and you break your hip, or you
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: fall and you break your wrist. You sprain your wrist
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: trying to catch your with like, we have to now
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: lift weights to keep our balance. So many benefits from listening,
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: from going to the gym period.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, anything moving your body moving anyway, it's good.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Like we can all be like Sherry and give ourselves
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: that appointment first thing in the morning. I think that's
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: that's gonna help a lot.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Walking, I love walking, Jenny. I walked four miles
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: the other day. My butt cheek froze up. That left
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: butt cheek was frozen.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: Wait were you flexing as you were walking?
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know what I was doing. I usually do
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: two miles. I can do one of two miles, but
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: I did four because I was like, well, let me
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: see if I could go a little further. Let me
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: see if I go a little further. And my butt
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: cheek was like, no, go home. But I did it.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: I did it. I was so happy. I love walking
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: by myself. I used to take Jeffrey with me when
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I walk, but he complained so much, how long we
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: gotta walk when we're gonna be done. It takes all
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: the fun out of it. So I walked by myself
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: with only I walked with one ear butt in so
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I can hear everything else is going on on and
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I just walk, and I my creative stuff comes. I
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: get to think about things. I love walking. Yeah, that
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: four miles almost took me out. That four miles.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Whoo.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: It's a good thing.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: You listen to your butt cheek.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: I listened to my I always listen to my butt cheeks.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: They would never let me lead me astray.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. When I was on your show, we
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: talked about communicating with our exes, and you made me
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: laugh because.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: You've got a great relationship with yours.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I mean it took a while, it took a good minute. Girl,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: But what what what's going on with you at this
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: point in your life? Like, are you open to dating.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Are you dating? Are you going to find him husband?
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Are you put on your own?
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: That's the best option I am right now. My wish
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: is that Jeffrey Zaid and I could have a good relationship.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: At the at the moment, it's not there. We communicate
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: by which is kind of hard to do, but that's
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: the way it works, you know. So I would love
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: like you are squad goals for me. With that said,
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: like with dating, at this I'm very open to marriage.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: I think marriage is an amazing and amazing thing, and
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: you know, it's nice to know you can depend on
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: your mate. But I've gone through two very public marriages
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: and two very public divorces, and I have for me
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: and nobody else. I lost everything in my first marriage
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: because I did not have a pre nup And when
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: I say everything I was doing, the view broke, like
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: all my money was going to pay expenses for living
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: in New York and going to my attorneys. I hosted
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: a show called The Newlywag Game, and every check they
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: gave me was going to attorneys. So it was awful.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: And then the second marriage, it just it costs so
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: much money, even though we had a prenup. That was
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: a great thing, but it cost so much money and
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: I lost everything again, and so having to build up,
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: you know, my money, my finances again, to take care
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: of a child who has special needs that's therapy every week,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: that's a you know, that's a psychologist, that's he goes
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: to a you know, a special school. That's money, and
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: to have to build that up again. I just the
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: marriage is just not something that I'm seeking right now,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: but I'm open to it. So nobody's came to float
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: float on my boat. So right now, I like being single.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: I like being single and dating. I like being single
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: because I had to learn to date. Jenny, I would
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: date and get married. Yeah, so I had to work
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: with a dating coach and she said, you need to
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: date more than one man. And I went clutch my pearls.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: I can't date more than one man. I came up
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: in a religion you dated to get married, and she said, no, Sherry,
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: you need to learn how to date, to just go
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: on a date and have conversation. You need to learn
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: how to date, to just go and have a nice time.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: You need to learn how to date so that if
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: you get ghosted by one, you're not putting all your
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: eggs in that one basket and love with the first
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: one who gives you some affection. You need to be
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: able to go have a good time and say I
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: got another date on Thursday. So all your eggs aren't
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: in that one basket. You need to just date and
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: to figure out what you like, who you like, the
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: treatment you want. And that's what I started doing, so Jenny.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: One day, whenever I would go to town, a different town
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: to do stand up, I'd set up a date and
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: I went at lane time. I had three dates at
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: a breakfast date, a lunch date, and a dinner date.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're such a good student. By the way.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: I went out Now, I was full because everybody took
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: me to a restaurant. But it was very interesting because
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: the first one he was a sheriff. I met him
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: on Instagram. Okay, he was a sheriff. He sent me
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: a DM he said, I'm a I'm a sheriff. Here's
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: pictures of me at the at the you know station.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Can I take you out? I said, Okay, you're not
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: a You're not a stalker or nothing, right? He said no.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: But we we met in a public place. We went out.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: He was very very much the the man's man, so
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: he was really jarring to him. So many people came
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: up and wanted to autograph or wanted a picture. You know.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: He had made reservations at a restaurant for breakfast, but
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: it wasn't open. So there was another restaurant, and he says, oh,
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: that's not open. But I happened to know Candy Burris
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: who owned She owned the restaurant, and I'm like, I
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: don't want to like, I don't want them to think
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: that I'm usurping or but I texted her and I
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm outside. So he's like, we got to
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: go somewhere else because this is not open. And they
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: came and they they opened it up for us. That
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: was a little bit much for him. Yeah, then he
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: you know, he smoked cigars. He was gorgeous. But I
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: was like, you know what, this is not working. So
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: but I got a lunch date and the lunch day
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: was amazing, so much fun. He took me roller skating,
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: which I love, so he was very thoughtful. We went
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: roller skating and had a great time and he showed
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: me some moves he taught roller skating. Then I was like, well,
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: that was good, but I have a dinner day tonight.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Oh oh my god.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: All this was all on one day and the dinner
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: did I want up? Girl? He was gorgeous. He had
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: his own business and he built roofs. It was a
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: siding business. He built decks and muscles and whoa. He
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: was gorgeous. But he was used to being the gorgeous
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: one and getting all the attention, so he didn't like it.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: And I thought that was great. We had a good time.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: He ghosted me, but it was fine when I got ghosted.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you got to learn what works and what
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: doesn't work.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: What works. But I have three dates and I was like,
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: it's okay because I'm going to North Carolina and my
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: friends set up a date with somebody else.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: This is I love this, Sherry. This is so good.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because before I would date and I'd be you know,
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: you day, you have such a great time, and then
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: you go home and you're doing curly cues. You know,
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: you're writing your name with his last name, you know,
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: mister and missus, and I'd be like in love now
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: I want to get married, and it's like yeah, So
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: it was really great dating to see what I liked,
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: and what kind of treatment I liked. I don't want
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: anybody who smoked cigars, and I'm not settling that sheriff
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: smoked cigars. We got into his car and I felt
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: like cancer was coming. That's a bad joke. I shouldn't.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: I don't want to offend anybody. But I was like,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: he smoked so much.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: It just smell.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: It just smells so bad. And I was like, I can't,
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: I can't do this, and he was, I hope he's
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: not gonna. I'm not saying I don't want anybody not
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: to watch your podcast, Jenny, but he was mudery. So
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: dating is, you know, So for me, I like, I
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: like dating. I like if there's somebody that I date
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: a few times, I like it, and I like and
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: I like not sharing it. I know as a talk
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: show host, I share a lot. But there's some things
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: I have learned in the season of my life. You
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: have to keep something as special, something that's so special
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: that everybody's not in your Sometimes I think we overshare
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: so much on social media, and then when it goes south,
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: you're scrubbing off the pictures that you had with them.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: You're asking everybody to respect your privacy, but you've opened
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: the door. And I like that I get to date
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: because they didn't ask for the fame I did. So
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: it's really nice to be able to go out and
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: just have a really good time and I don't have
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: to talk about it now, talk about the dates that
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: I go on. That there really crazy. But I like
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: being able to just state and have a good time.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: And if there's somebody I meet, hell maybe I'll talk
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: about them.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: If I like him, see what happens.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: I always tell my daughters, we'll see. Just think to yourself,
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: we'll see.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: We'll see. That's good. I like that. That's really such
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: a great phrase. We'll see, we'll see.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: Okay. I like to ask everybody this Sherry Shepherd, before
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: I let you go, what was your last?
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: I choose me, moment, my last, I choose me, moment,
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: my last, my last, I choose me. Oh, it's so
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: much where I say, I choose me. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: yeah yeah. I went to a private island. Somebody gave
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: me their private island to go and just rest. And
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: it was a person that I was seeing and he
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: wanted it to go. He wanted to be like, you know,
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: we can go and we have a great time and
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: we can do this. And I said, you know what,
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: I want to invite my friends because I don't want
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: to I don't want to be in a romantic thing.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: I want to go to this island, be able to laugh, giggle,
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: not have to feel like, Oh, I don't want to
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: make you feel like you're not included. I don't want
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: to make you feel like you know, I'm being I
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: want to be, you know, because I took some of
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: my glam team and I'm bossy with them because it
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: worked for me.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: It's free to be yourself.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: I just want to be myself. And these feelings were
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: very hurt, and I said, I just I want to
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: do a romantic thing. This somebody offered me this private
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: island for seven days, and I wanted to be about
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: me and the people are brought and I want to
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: be silly and I want to be and I want
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: to be able to go back to my hotel room
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: I'm not well, the villa that was on the island,
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: and go to sleep. Yes, I don't want to have
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: to worry about, you know, is he having a good time?
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: You know? Are you having a Is there anything I
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: could do to make you happy. I don't want none
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: of that. And I chose me and I don't And
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: you know, I was like, and I don't care. I
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: want to go and have a good time. And it
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: felt great and I had a blast with my friends.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, I think that might be one of the best
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: I choose me moments I've ever heard of private island
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: by yourself.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: It was a private island and we and had I
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: taken him, everybody would have had a great time with him.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: But what would have been missing is all of the stories,
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: Like we really talked about our hopes and our dreams,
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: and you know, we stayed up. I one of my
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: dearest friends of twenty two years, Like, I went and
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: we got in the same bed and we talked and
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: giggled like we were schoolgirls. I wouldn't have been able
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: to do that.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you just need those trips.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: You need those trips. I got to bond with my
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: sister friends.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Oh. I love that for you. I love it. I
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: just love talking to you. I could talk to you forever.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: And I want to hear about some of those dates
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: going wrong, because those are good.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: You're laughing. I need to write a book. I've had
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: some do then I have. Yeah, it's been some. It's
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: been some funny ones. It's been some like okay, this
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: this is not gonna work all right? Oh you didn't
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: tell me there was a Oh there's a you got
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: a girlfriend. Didn't know that.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: Little detail you left that little one?
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Now? Oh Hi, who are you? You know?
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, so much fun talking to you, Cherm.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: I'll let you go. I know you're a busy, busy lady.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: And thank you for spending some time with us.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: Jinny, thank you so much. So when I come to
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: when I come to La, we've got to hang out.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: I love you you too, girl. Bye bye bye.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: Jerry is so funny.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: I love when I get to connect with her. She's
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: such an inspirational woman. I love what she said about
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: saying no. That word is so powerful, and I know,
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: after walking away from this conversation, what she said is
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: going to stick with me and hopefully empower me to
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: say no more. This week, as I choose myself, speaking
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: of choosing ourselves, as we continue to do that each week,
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: I want to challenge you to making a different first
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: choice in your morning. Cherry said she chooses to get
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: up at four forty five every morning and drive thirty
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: minutes to the gym. I know a lot of us
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: struggle with looking at our phones as soon as we
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: open our eyes, but we can do better than that.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: So this week, make a better choice and choose yourself.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Maybe start with I don't know, letting the sunshine hit
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: your face, or drink a big glass of cold water,
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: or maybe go on a morning walk with your dog.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Take those first few moments or even hour of your
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: morning to choose yourself. You are worse. Thanks for listening
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: to I Choose Me and don't forget. Tickets are on
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: sale now for my live summon event happening on January eleventh.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: You can check out all the information along with our
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: social links in our show notes, rate and review the podcast,
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: and use the hashtag I Choose Me. I will be
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: right here next week. I hope you choose to be
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: here too,