Latest / Harder Than Life / 135: Decoding Faces - How to Instantly Read People Like a Pro

Transcript

135: Decoding Faces - How to Instantly Read People Like a Pro · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living. Welcome back to the Harder Life Podcast.
• 0:25
  Brian Galky is a master of communication and connection specializing in facial feature analysis. With over 15 years of experience working with individuals and businesses and Fortune 500 companies, Brian has developed a revolutionary way to understand people at a deeper level. As the founder of Subtle Skills, he teaches professionals how to read faces to build instant rapport, boost sales, and create stronger relationships.
• 0:54
  Welcome to the Harder Life Podcast, my friend. And I appreciate you jumping on. I'm so excited to have you here because when we met, I was enthralled with this. What...
• 1:07
  We all need an advantage in life. And what you're teaching people is such a good advantage. A little cheat skills like Googling your people beforehand. Right. So tell me about you. Sure. So I'm an introvert by nature. And what good introverts do, we try and figure out how do we interact with other people. So my whole life I grew up picking up books, body language, how to win friends and influence people, you name it. Because we're –
• 1:33
  taught that this should just be inherently natural to everyone. And what you find out is everybody struggles to a degree. It's just introverts don't realize that everybody struggles. We think we're the only ones. And so I started picking up books, you name it. And I always pick jobs where people had to come to me. So I was a server, a bartender, a bouncer was the best job because you're still around people, but you don't have to talk to people.
• 1:53
  You know, and but nobody knew I was an introvert because I was always out in public. So now the term is ambivert. So I'm an introvert, extrovert in that. I'm still terrified of people, but I love to be around people like I can't work from home for too many days. I got to go to Starbucks or somewhere else just to be around people, but I don't have to talk to them. And then in 2010, my life changed. And that was a friend came in from out of town. She invited me to dinner.
• 2:16
  She canceled the dinner plans after I was already at the restaurant. She's like, you need to come meet this guy. And I'm like, why? She's like, well, he's a speaker. You really, really need to meet him. I said, why? She goes, because he can read faces. And I go, that's a bunch of BS. I'm not going for that. But she was in from out of town. She convinced me to go meet him. But I went with a plan. I was going to prove that this guy was a fraud. I thought he's going to use these generic horoscope Barnum statements like, oh, you've had a hard time in life and all these things. And he sat eight of us down at dinner and he started just reading everybody's face.
• 2:46
  And I was waiting, I was listening, I was really trying hard to catch him. And he did different things if they had different facial features. And he said the exact same thing if they had the same facial features. Then he got to me.
• 2:57
  And I'm like, this guy's been digging through my trash can. Like, it was crazy to me what he could explain about me based on me. And instantly I bought his book, which I still to this day show everyone. This is the book that I got back in 2010. It's got my name on it. Now it's got the updated covers called the Power Face Reading. But there's over 150 different features in the face that I went and studied all through 2011, 2012, driving from Dallas to Fort Worth.
• 3:23
  which is 45 minutes each way to study with them in a group setting. And I just picked it up and I started using it at work. And it's what took me from being an introvert on the help desk to a regional vice president of sales with a $40 million book of business.
• 3:38
  So the book that he put up was Amazing Face Reading. Yes. So we'll put that in the show notes. Can they get that from you or is it Amazon? You can go to my website. Basically, every book that I think can help people in communication, I list on my website. Body language books, you name it. The updated version of that book is called The Power of Face Reading. All he did was add – he corrected a few features and added some new components to it. And while I'm a huge fan of that, I'm a bigger fan of the flashcards because just like when we were in school –
• 4:08
  You know, we they gave us the book, but when it's time to study for the test, you got flashcards. And so he also created flashcards that are available on my website as well. And I liked him because I could take the flashcards with me anywhere. And let me grab some.
• 4:20
  I keep them out on my other desk. So I could go out in public and I'd be like, okay, who has this feature? I could find the feature and I could flip over and go like, okay, now what does that feature mean? And so I would take these with me. And of course, people are always curious with cards and books. And I would lay these out when I went somewhere because I used to travel for work. I used to be...
• 4:39
  I went from help desk to installing equipment. Well, first I learned how to build it in the warehouse, but then I would go and actually install this out in the field. Now, I used to sell technology to jails and prisons, so I wasn't always staying in the nicest hotels, and I wasn't going to the nicest places. But I would leave the cards out. Human curiosity would kick in, and people would be like, well, what's that about? And I said, well, I took this class. I kind of still think this guy's full of crap. Can I ask you some questions? And that way, when I would start decoding their facial features, I would point it out in the book or in the flashcards what I saw.
• 5:09
  And so it was affirmation of what I taught because I'm a skeptic by nature, but I'm a curious skeptic. And that is, I want to do my own testing, not believe what a book tells me is going to work.
• 5:20
  And it was surprisingly accurate. It wasn't 100%, but it was in the high 90s. And now that's why I end all my talks is if there's time, I bring people up on stage, volunteers, and we go through what their faces mean. I just did this with Chris Casamasa. He was the original Scorpion in Mortal Kombat, the movie, and was just in LA for his event. And that's how we ended it with just people coming up. And there's two reasons for that. One, I wanna show people what's possible.
• 5:46
  But two, it's showing people what they just learned. We start having them answer, are their eyebrows high or low? What shape are their eyebrows? So it's affirmation of what they just learned and putting it into practice with repetition as well.
• 5:58
  All right. You got me curious. Everybody's sitting there going, how does he do it? What does it mean? But there's 35,000 questions. They're banging against the freaking the device right now going, Brian, tell me more. So how much do our faces reveal about our inner selves? Let's get into it. Sure. It goes with age. So obviously when you're born.
• 6:18
  It's what you genetically inherited from your parents, your grandparents, you name it. But what happens is from the moment we're born is the study of something known as epigenetics. And that is how does the outside world influence us down to a DNA level? So what happens is the mind creates movement, movement creates muscle. So you can take identical twins.
• 6:38
  same genetic code raised in the same household, but they had different life experiences. And as a result of that, they made different faces. Well, there's 43 muscles in the face. And just like the rest of our body, the more muscles used, the larger it gets. The less the muscles used, the less it's used. So constantly those 43 muscles in our face are changing. Now we won't notice it because we see each other every day in the mirror. But if you haven't seen someone for a period of time and they've gone through a major life event,
• 7:06
  will literally say the phrase like, you look like a new person, because they do. And so you take somebody who was in a relationship where they weren't allowed to talk, and they had to do a lot of lip suppression, like in body language, go like this. And all of a sudden, they're out of that relationship, be it a bad job or bad personal relationship, and they can talk again, and their lip will get larger over time because they're using it. So every single feature on our face, and there's 150 different combinations, reveal a little bit about us.
• 7:35
  So we're constantly changing from the minute we're born to the minute we die. Our faces are changing slowly over time. So what's some practical day-to-day uses of this information? So we got a housewife or most of the people listen to us, their own businesses are successful in some way. How does this add to their day? Well, here's the funny thing. We're already using it. We just don't realize how we're using it. When somebody is having a hard time, we say, hey, keep a stiff upper lip.
• 8:02
  Meaning, if somebody has a thinner upper lip, don't ask them a lot of personal questions. However, if they have a fuller upper lip, go ahead and ask questions. We say things like, take one on the chin. That's not just a boxing term. Chin size tells us how people handle criticism and adversity.
• 8:17
  When we say I'm all ears, well, that's somebody telling you that they're an auditory learner. Well, I'm visual. But if I want to communicate with an auditory person, then I use auditory phrases. Oh, I hear where you're coming from. Hey, come take a listen to this. So practical information is everyone's face tells us a little bit about them. I like to teach eyebrows. The reason I like to teach eyebrows is because eye contact is a lost art.
• 8:40
  If you take, for example, there was an article by intelligent.com December of 2023, they interviewed 800 employers specifically about hiring kids right out of college for jobs. And what they found is 53% of them couldn't make eye contact during an interview or maintain eye contact. So that's why I like teaching eyebrows or if you're an introvert like I was, you get credit for eye contact by looking at eyebrows and eyebrows tell us how do people take in information.
• 9:08
  And how much time does it take for them to process that information? So when we talk about comedies, there's highbrow humor and lowbrow humor. People think it's a class thing. And to a degree it is because that's how the terms were used. But eyebrow height tells you how long before somebody feels comfortable making a decision. So if you think of eyebrow height is distance from the eye going up the forehead. It's like if you picture that data has to race down your forehead to get into your eye.
• 9:33
  The higher the eyebrow, I can only go so fast. I have to go over the speed bump and I try and speed up. So it's like having a speed bump in the middle of the road. The opposite of that is if somebody has very low eyebrows –
• 9:44
  they make decisions fast because that data races to get into their brain. And at the last minute, that's when they make a decision. Now, what people get confused about is they think one is more intelligent than the other, and it's not because sometimes making a decision too quick does as much damage as waiting too long and missing out. So it's about comfort level for the person. So I can literally look at someone and their eyebrow height tells me if we've got 30 minutes on their calendar, how long are we going to be talking before they make a decision?
• 10:10
  And the easiest way to show like proof of concept with this is if you're not familiar with Sam Taggart, who runs door to door con, I've spoke there the last three years. I didn't do it this January, but the last three years I've done it. Those are people who have seven seconds before somebody slams the door shut on them, pulls a gun or calls the cops. And we've been teaching them just how to understand how much time are they going to spend with a person? So that's eyebrow height.
• 10:33
  You want questions on that one before we move to the next part? Yeah, yeah. So people notice this. I'll give you the practical answer. So I own several companies. Somebody comes to me. I got the low eyebrows. I make decisions just like that. And I got the big ears, so I do listen. And why it's important to me is you know exactly how to get to me. Because if you don't get to the point within –
• 10:53
  less than 10 seconds. I've already lost, you've lost me. Exactly. These are things where if you're trying to get your point across and you are trying to advance your life, listen to this high eyebrows. It's funny. Cause I, I do it the other way. You call it coming over the brain. I'd say it's getting farther away from the brain. Cause I think the mind right here, but whatever,
• 11:13
  Whatever it takes to help people. And when I saw you give this presentation, I mean, everybody just starts leaning in. They're looking at their eyebrow. It is one of the funniest things that I've ever seen. So guys, got to leverage every single tool. I loved how you said, take it out of the chin, have a stiff upper lip. That's amazing. But keep going because you're on a roll.
• 11:38
  Well, we'll use an example. Because the fact that you have larger ears, I'm going to use auditory phrases. You know, hey, does this sound like a good idea? Oh, do you hear where I'm coming from? Hey, you know, there's really something I want to talk about. Do you have a few minutes to listen? But if you were visual, I would change that to, oh, I see where you're coming from. Oh, I get the picture. And it's learning to meet people where they are. People go, ah, that's manipulation. I go, okay, well, let me give you a good example. Okay.
• 12:02
  I used to travel when I was a young kid and everywhere I went, I used to think they should speak English. And if they don't, well, I'll speak English louder, right? Like that somehow overcomes the barrier.
• 12:11
  But when you learn, the thing to do is when you go to other countries, you respect their language. So, for example, when I started going everywhere and I changed it to, let me learn, please, thank you, good morning, good afternoon, where's the bathroom, all the important stuff. When you learn that and you try to speak someone else's language, they try to speak yours. And that's where most salespeople screw up is we think, well, I have the best product and I have the best references so that you should just go with me. That's pitching your product. But when you're learning to actually present to the person.
• 12:41
  That's what changes it. We all know when something is customized for us and someone's trying to work with us versus show up and throw up. And the people who show up and throw up and go through a presentation without taking the audience into account, that wreaks a commission breath. And commission breath is a neediness and neediness is a repellent. So when you go into a room, like we'd go into these presentations, and I was never telling anybody what I was doing because I was ashamed that I had to study people. And now I realize that was the dumbest thing ever. I should have been sharing with everybody.
• 13:11
  what I was learning because the one thing that we all realized after we were locked in our homes a few years ago is connection and communication is key. We didn't realize how much we need other people until we couldn't be around other people. And if you look at the penal system, what do they do with the people who are the worst? They put you in solitary confinement because that's the worst punishment that you can be given as a person is to isolate you from everyone else.
• 13:36
  The bad news is we're isolating ourselves because of social media this day and age. Rather than talk to people, we think, well, I don't need to check in with Kelly. I can just look on his Facebook or Instagram and see what he's up to. We're losing that personal connection. And the problem is when we're looking at somebody else's social media, we think we know what's going on with them. But it's like driving past a nice house that may be abandoned on the inside. We're like, wow, that house, it's so beautiful. I wish I could have that $5 million mansion. You don't know that the people inside of it aren't miserable. Right?
• 14:06
  And that's the whole thing is social media. We have comparison bias. You know, you can be like, I was in L in LA last week. So maybe, oh, it must be nice to be in LA.
• 14:15
  but they didn't know about my lack of sleep. They didn't know about the plane delays. They didn't see everything else that's really going on because everybody puts their best life on social media. And so we used to call our friends up and go, hey, what's going on in your world? Let me, you know, tell me what's happening. We now look at their social media versus reaching out to people. So we're creating that distance between us and other people. And listen, with AI and automation, you have to start figuring out what's gonna separate out you from an AI bot and or a robot.
• 14:43
  And it's these skills right here of being in the room with people, being able to communicate and read the room on what's going on at the exact same time.
• 14:52
  Hold that thought for a second. That's actually my next question because I'm so fascinated by AI. And as you know, I own an IT company, so I am constantly there. And I want to talk to the audience a little bit. Like, well, why do I need this? And I'm not in sales. We're all in sales. We've been in sales since we were little kids. So you're always trying to advance your agenda, get your way. So I know for me, I struggle when people don't want to talk because I am a great
• 15:19
  open-ended question person. So I will ask questions and then listen, listen, listen. And I got a firm belief. I'm giving away all my secrets, by the way, if you're ever in a situation where I'm selling you cybersecurity or it, you're going to get my secrets here. And it's, I ask questions and people tell on themselves, people love to talk about themselves. So if I get somebody with that stiff upper lip and that,
• 15:43
  arms crossed and I'm a big body. That's what I'd forgotten that you, you're, you're facial, but I'm a body language guy. So if somebody's sitting there with their arms crossed and brows for, there's, there's ways that people invite you to talk to them, but I struggle with arms crossed, heads down, stiff upper lip. And I ask a open-ended question and they give me one word answers. I'm like, okay, I usually then break it over to like, why am I here? Mm-hmm.
• 16:13
  And I just say, so this is very practical. And if you've taken nothing, I'm just gonna reiterate, nothing away from this, read the height of the eyebrows, and then reach out to Brian and he teaches this stuff over and over. But you got, you dabbled in the AI, and I am massive in AI. We've got all kinds of AI working for the brand and for the IT company. So will AI technology integrate facial analysis into everyday life? Which we're seeing some of it in the casinos now.
• 16:43
  Will, do you see that happen? Yes. So there's different software that's trying to do several different things. Are you familiar with microexpressions at all? No. So that's Paul Ekman's work, E-K-M-A-N. A way that most people, like average society would know it, is there's a show that's on Hulu called Lie to Me. And that show is based on Paul Ekman's character. So like he gave input to it all. So that is –
• 17:06
  Microexpressions are fast facial movements that last a fraction of a second. And it kind of gives you an idea of what's going on with other people. Now, what I also think is hugely important that you just talked about, AI is trying to look. So now with facial recognition and facial movements, they're saying, let's analyze Zoom calls and figure out where the sales went wrong. So if you Google what I teach, which is decoding facial features, the name of the study, it's not a science, the study is physiognomy.
• 17:34
  And if you Google physiognomy and AI, they are looking to see, can we start bringing this back to help people understand and or robots to understand people better? So, yes, AI is being brought in so many things. It's looking at body language now. It's looking at where do the eyes go. So people don't know this, but there are little cameras in stores that are measuring where people's eyes looking when they go into a store to buy something. That's why for anybody who's never been in marketing or sales.
• 18:00
  The premium product placement is at eye level in a store. So people don't know this. People think, oh, well, they just bring in whatever product. No, you pay for the height of where your product is located. So the people who pay the least, their stuff goes down by the very bottom shelf. People who pay the most, it's up by the eye contact. Now, they've gone into gas stations and other places and put in cameras to look and see where people's eyes go because they're trying to figure it all out. Okay.
• 18:24
  I scarily think we're not that far away from minority report, not in that we're going to pre-predict crime. But if you remember, he had to change his eyeballs out because they were scanning his eyes and giving him personalized advertisements. Well, we're already getting that through the algorithm, right? When we log into Facebook, Instagram, whatever it is, it's delivering different content to you than it is to me. The only difference is right now we're not out in public and it's not doing –
• 18:51
  eye recognition, but I, I scarily think that's coming. I mean, if you haven't seen those videos with the, what is it? The meta glasses where you can go out and it's studying you and then giving me information about you in real time, that scares the crap out of me. Something you brought up that I want to address.
• 19:08
  it's not just about reading other people's body language. This is a book I recommend to everyone. So it's called you say more than you think by Janine driver. And that is what does your body language say about you? Because what we don't realize is we all have mirror neurons. And so when you smile, I want to smile. If you cross your arms, I want to cross my arms. So there's the question is if you're going in, especially when we're new in sales and I was forced into sales, I did not want to do it. I thought it was, you know, the dark side, all that sleazy stuff.
• 19:37
  When you walk into a room, you're setting the tone for the room. And that's the whole thing is you want to show your best body language, open body language. Can I see your hands? You know, are you scouring? Do you need glasses? Or are you raising your eyebrows up like recognition? This is the total nerd in me. So hold on.
• 19:54
  I am a total book nerd. So the like switch right here was written by FBI behavioral analysis units and how they taught them how to basically make friends to get people to turn against their own country. How did they create double agents and things? And they talked about they even taught some professionals when they'd walk into a room, biologically, when a stranger enters our room, the first place we look is at eyebrows for intent. And so if I walk into a room like this,
• 20:21
  I'm scanning the room, I'm scouring the room, I'm seen as a foe. If I walk into a room and I raise my eyebrows up, hey, it's recognizing my friend.
• 20:29
  It's that simple. We do that without thinking about it because when we were in tribes and we're in communities, stranger danger, right? Somebody walked in and we first looked, are they frowning? Are they making that furrowed brow because they're a foe or is it raised in recognition? Then we'd go to look at their hands. So that's why body language is important. We first look and say, okay, are they friendly or are they dangerous? And then what's in their hands? Is it something that can kill me? So you have to be thinking about these things when you're walking into someone else's turf,
• 20:59
  be at their home, you're asking them out on a date. Why do you think dates meet at a coffee shop first? Because if we all met at somebody's house, somebody's on the defensive right away. So it's constantly thinking, how do I just put people at ease versus pitch my product? And I very much know what you talked about because number one, I started out as an IT nerd. I started off with my Microsoft certification, my MCSE, and then I got CCNA. And the thing about IT work is it's a necessary evil that nobody wants to spend money on.
• 21:28
  until they've had a bad experience. Well, everybody has bad experiences these days, and we've simplified it. We've used AI. And as far as I know, and this is the first time I'm actually saying this, is...
• 21:43
  We can, you can order our cybersecurity online right now, like a pizza. Cause we figured out the 90, 10 rule where if you follow what we do, it protects you. So what happens is people like, oh, this is, they're just cramming it, but we've made it so affordable and so predictable and repeatable that we're upsetting the entire, you wanna know why? Cause I'm not an IT guy.
• 22:06
  You're an introvert. I'm an extrovert. You know why I am a good salesperson? Because I had to be to survive my childhood. I had to read. I can read somebody and tell you what they're thinking. Like, it's such a curse to me that my friends all look and go, what did you read there? And I'm almost dead on accurate.
• 22:24
  And I'm a blend of the facial and the body language. Right. And I can tell if somebody's lying in a second. You and I talked about this at the event. That's what made Ed Milet so successful is he had a traumatic childhood that forced him to pay attention, to be hypersensitive to what was going on in his environment for safety. And what that taught is how to read a room now. And he tells a story of what happened to him and everything else. But that's what...
• 22:53
  What helps keep you safe as a kid is what can help make you smarter as an adult. This is a funny question. I'm sorry. Oh, no. Is there a way to know when someone's analyzing you, especially if it's a nefarious individual?
• 23:08
  Yes and no. If they're good at it, no. The problem is most people aren't good at it. If you're in sales, one of the things that's taught, and it can be an effective skill, is mirroring and matching. So mirroring is whatever you do, I want to do. So, for example, you talked about if you walk into a room and their arms are crossed, what sales will teach you is that at some point you should come in and, you know, you can cross your arms too. And then what you do over time is you open your arms and then you try to get them to open theirs at the same time.
• 23:36
  The problem is people are very aware of mirroring and matching. If somebody does this, let's say you have your arms crossed, and I walk in and I look and I, okay, his arms are crossed. Okay, now I'm going to cross my arms. You're going to pick up on that. So it's kind of like you have to do a misdirection is you see their arms are crossed. You're kind of looking away and you're talking to the PowerPoint presentation, and then you come back and you cross your arms afterwards. But the problem is people suck at it. So the way I look at mirroring and matching is –
• 24:04
  Did it happen subconsciously? Are we matching each other without me trying to force it is a win in my mind. But you can look because people who are trained in body language, faces, things of that nature, they stare, but it's not a ogling you. It's an analyzing you at the same time. So we've all been somewhere.
• 24:22
  Where somebody's looked us up and down like this, well, salespeople will do it too. And they're looking to see what's going on. Are your arms crossed? Are your legs crossed? What are you doing? What are you thinking? And so most people miss it. But if you're trained in it, it's, you know, the RAS, the reticular activating system, you know what they're doing because you know how to do it.
• 24:42
  Brian go into how we met and why it's important because here we are as friends. And I, I text you on your birthday and I sang you happy birthday. How fun is that? So what's the important learning lesson from that?
• 24:56
  Get in the rooms that you don't know that you're supposed to be in. I mean, we went because I know Renee and. Mitzi. Yes. And the thing is, people don't go because they think, well, I can watch it on YouTube. I can do this. Yes, you can learn from speakers online, but you want to be in rooms to network with the people that are there. And that's why you and I are here is you actually got there early to check on the setup. I went early to go help them set up. And you and I were moving things around. Then we found out we have all these interconnections that we never would have known.
• 25:24
  That's why you have to go to events that are live and do it outside of your sandbox, meaning if you're in the real estate industry, go to an IT conference. Go to all these different things because different industries have the same problems that you do. But people go because they look at the speakers and think, oh, I want to learn from the speaker. There's more power in who's sitting next to you that you can build a relationship with and you learn from the speaker at the same time.
• 25:48
  Well, you make lifelong friends like I have with you. And then you get a message from me on your birthday where I sing to you. We have a lot of business owners that listen to the podcast. And I highly recommend you reach out to this because I am a critic of bad salespeople. I think we have a literal...
• 26:05
  epidemic of bad, poor, God, awful salespeople these days. And people's like, Oh, it's just get them talking. And no, it's not sell them what they, what they ask for and give them what they need. Correct. But we're into it's always the me, me, me, me, me. I need to make quota. I need, how about the person's needs? I always love when someone says, you know, my product isn't a good fit for you. I literally take their frigging number. I'm going to get you a better job. So hire people,
• 26:34
  Brian, for your sales team, because please make the salespeople better. Just please don't learn just one skill. For example, I showed you Janine's book. Janine and I go out and do courses called read the face, read the room. Why? Because I teach you how do you look people up on LinkedIn? How do you prepare your presentation? And then Janine comes in and she teaches statement analysis and body language. So once you're in the room, what else do you need to look out for? And that's what salespeople get wrong is they think, oh, it's just a numbers game. Yeah.
• 27:03
  And look, you need to be dating your customers, meaning you can get on and swipe right or left on. What is it? Is swipe right to go on the dating app? I've never been on it. Do you know what the funniest thing is? What's funny is I have a dating course called looking for love and all the wrong faces.com, which teaches you like what you have in common.
• 27:19
  But I've never been on a dating app. But, okay, I think it's Swipe Right. And so, yes, because I bought the website, are you swipingright.com, so that it redirects to my dating course. So if you just – you go on and you swipe right, and you're not trying to filter who you want to go on a date with, sales is the same thing. Yes, you get cold leads.
• 27:38
  But a shitty customer can ruin you because they'll go out, they'll blast you, they'll give you bad reviews, everything else. So not everyone, yes, most people think they want your product, but to your point, do they really need your product? And do you want them as a customer?
• 27:54
  That's the thing about sales is we are commission driven. I was in sales for 14 years. If I didn't win, I didn't get paid. So I get the drive to do it. But we ended up in some bad contracts where the company lost money over time. So we won the business.
• 28:11
  But we end up losing money instead of making money. And that's what you have to focus on is like dating, like anything else, what are you hoping to gain out of it? And what's your long-term gain? If you knock doors, maybe you don't care about that. But if you sell, let's say you sell cars where people come in, you want a high volume of people in. So that's the numbers game. But if you don't take care of them, you're never going to get a referral.
• 28:34
  And that's really where the power comes in because third party testimonials and referrals give you instant credibility versus you just saying we're really good products. And that's what drove me nuts. I worked for a company that we sell telecommunications and 21 and a half years and they always want to start out the second third slide with how great we were.
• 28:53
  Well, everybody's going to start out with that slide. So you need to do things differently like, hey, where are failures that we made? Because failure gives you an opportunity to show people what you can really do. Anybody can sell a product. But how you service the customer is what makes all the difference in the world.
• 29:08
  I was listening to every ounce. That was the best business advice I think I've ever heard. Best business advice that Kelly Siegel would ever give you harder than life is not every customer's for you. And frankly, a customer that costs you money that isn't aligned with your organization can...
• 29:25
  Bring your whole entire company down. Take it from me. That's how the Heart of the Life brand even started. We had a customer that was our largest customer that dictated everything we did and made my entire organization miserable. And then when the pandemic hit, they left and the entire organization grew
• 29:44
  After we lost our biggest customer because morale improved. And, and I learned so much for that. And it is also when you look at people, sometimes if they're, if they're just to keep it simple, they're positive and you're negative or you're positive. They're negative. You have to be in alignment. That's why at NTM, we have core values and I'm interviewing my client, potential clients. Do they align with those core values? Because if they're not in alignment, they're going to cost you money. So,
• 30:13
  You use Brian's skills or Brian's teachings to identify, are they being honest? Because everybody's going to tell you, oh, it's not about price. Customers now have gotten wiser. I'm not looking for the lowest price. I'm looking for the best value. And then you see their shift change or they make an abrupt change and you realize that's bull.
• 30:35
  That's, you know, so all I do is I follow up with another question. Like, tell me how you came to the solution that you have today. How did you, there's ways that people, are you going to ask questions? Now we're, we're veering way off the skills, but you can do that by reading. Are they open to it or not? The lips, the ears and say, tell me how you ended up with this, with who you have today. And you can say, who ended up losing it?
• 31:00
  And they'll tell on themselves, oh, yeah, we did end up cheating. They were the lowest price. And they just told you 10 seconds ago they don't buy on price, but they bought on price the last time. And you need to know that. That doesn't mean that they're not for you. This is turning into a sales discussion, which I love. No, I love sales. But like you said, everything in life is sales. You want to laugh? I'll give you a good laugh. Here's – look at this book right behind me. Zig Ziglar.
• 31:26
  Love it. Ziegler on selling. This is, this book is so old. Look at how, here is the definition of a salesman. You ever want a great fricking thing? The definition of a salesman. Every time I read it, it fires me up. If you are a sales and you read this and it doesn't fire you up, get out of sales. Right?
• 31:42
  Zig Ziglar, one of the freaking foundations. You can have everything you want. You just help everybody else get it. That's why I love reaching out to Brian and people like him and bringing this stuff to you. I was extremely lucky. Zig Ziglar's from Texas, Dallas specifically. When I was in junior high, I had a course called I Can, which every day after lunch, we got to go in for 45 minutes after lunch, listen to one of his cassette tapes.
• 32:08
  You went there, and I'm going to go back there, looking for love and all the wrong faces. I did not mean – we just went from sales to love. Oh, yeah. Welcome to hard-of-life, people. I love love. Everybody loves love. Actually, little-known sales fact, I lead with love and positive energy, love and abundance, and I make more sales, and I smile. We'll get into the smiling in a minute, but talk to me about –
• 32:33
  Looking for love and all the wrong faces. If I am on a dating app, which I've never been, but it's a lot of people do it. Most relationships are there. What should they be looking for to avoid? Like the common one is the narcissistic. Is there a narcissistic tell? They're not necessarily narcissistic. What you wanna look for is what's like you and what's different from you. Now there's nothing wrong with differences because opposites attract.
• 32:59
  But what you want to learn is to have those difficult discussions up front, not after the love phase passes, right? When the honeymoon's over and what you used to think was cute, you now want to strangle them for. And so I'll use you as an example on this one because I already know me and then I'll come back to a true life story with me in a second. Because you have larger ears.
• 33:18
  If you dated somebody who had small ears and larger eyes, they're more visual. And so they're not always listening when you talk and to you talking is important because you're auditory, you like to hear things. So for example, when, and this is going back to my life, I'm more visual. My ex was more auditory. So when we were going to the store, if she told me what she wanted, I came back with three of the right things and four of the wrong things. Yeah.
• 33:42
  So she had to learn to text me if I was going. Now, when she was going to the store, I'm visual, so I wanted to text her what I wanted. She's like, stop, just tell me what you want. So it's learning what makes the other person happy and how do you adjust at the same time. So it's not that one is right or wrong.
• 33:58
  But it's how do we meet in the middle. So we had to come up with things like she loves music and listening to podcasts and things. I liked watching movies. So sometimes when she wanted to listen to something, I would read a book. We were still spending time together, but we didn't have to do exactly what the other person wanted. So it's a little bit of give and take when you're doing things. To answer your question, what are things that I personally watch out for? And this is personal preference.
• 34:21
  If you've read the five love languages, three of the five love languages are available on somebody's face. And the first one is if they have a lot of upper eyelid, that's time and attention. Well, I don't have a lot of upper eyelid. So I think, okay, instead of doing everything as a we, I'm going to go do this.
• 34:37
  So if you're dating someone or when I was married, she had fuller lids, I would have to say, hey, do you want to go with me to do things? Because for her, it was time and attention. And I still love time and attention, but it wasn't my primary love language. So I would go think, okay, I need to go do this. I need to go do that. And not realizing it felt like to her that I wasn't inviting her and including her in what I was doing. So that's the first one I watch out for is I literally, if they've got really full upper eyelids, I'm like, shh.
• 35:02
  Because I kind of need my own alone time. Now, the next one over is if they have a wide area below the nose and above the lip, the wider that area is, is the more kinesthetic they are, more hands-on learner. Well, hands-on learners are also physical touch people. So if you look here, physical touch, if you like physical touch, that's great.
• 35:21
  But if somebody has a very thin line and they don't like physical touch and yours is wide, then that might be a problem because you may want to cuddle on the couch and they just think, oh, leave me alone. But, you know, they'll still do things with you, but not as much as you want to. And the third one from the five love languages is below their lip and above their chin. If there's a little line right here that's called the verbal affirmation line, that's somebody who thrives on sincere verbal compliments. And so my ex had one pretty deep right here. And I couldn't say, hey, thanks for making dinner.
• 35:51
  I've had to make it very specific. Hey, tonight, the chicken you made was awesome.
• 35:57
  And so you just, when you look at combinations, you just have to know what does somebody have on how to make them happy. But here's the thing that I think, especially I'm going to say this for men more than women, because I've never been a woman, is men need to read the book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. And the reason for that is we're taught to basically, okay, men are the provider, now just do everything for a woman. And what you have to realize is it's not happy wife, happy life.
• 36:22
  It's happy spouse, happy house. It takes two people to make a home. It needs to make two people a priority. And your goal is to treat them as a priority and their goal is to treat you as a priority and you will somehow meet in the middle. But it's learning all these things about people. Now, if you want to answer one, and this is kind of, it's gonna make you laugh. Well, if I had to say, were to ask you, what does a witch look like? Or what does the devil look like?
• 36:48
  Angled eyebrows, a downturn nose, and a pointy chin are things that I would pay attention to. So angled eyebrows, I have it. Angled eyebrows are what's my angle? Help me understand it.
• 36:59
  downturn nose, well, if you can't see somebody's nostrils, they tend to think of what they want in life. So, hey, you got to break a few omelets or eggs to make an omelet type scenario. The ends justify the means, you know, whatever phrase you want to say. And then pointy chins are like what you can stab people with. So if I said draw a vampire or a witch, guess what they all three have? Those features. Now, is it 100%? No. But so far with the people I've met,
• 37:25
  They kind of out there, they're kind of a voracious, vicious type person when they have all three of those features because they're focused on their goal and everything else is collateral damage. So that's something I would personally stay away from. Go through those three more time. Sure. Angled eyebrows. Angled eyebrows. Downturned nose where you can't see their nostrils and it's like blocking air. So think they don't have air to share with anybody else. And then a pointed chin. Or just go and Google witches or vampires or devil. Guess what all three of them have?
• 37:54
  Ladies and gentlemen, you have the Brian Gulke secrets to swiping. Brian, do you have that in a cheat sheet that you can share with people? Or is it what's available on the looking for love and all the wrong faces.com? That's just a cheap dating course. I wanted to create something. It was a byproduct of the pandemic. And that was what happened. Everybody went to online dating.
• 38:16
  And it's just like resumes. It's a pretty picture and a bunch of lies down below. So I just wanted – people kept sending me pictures going, well, what do you see? What do you see? And I thought, I'm not doing this because it becomes not fun. I love analyzing faces, but it got to be so many were reaching out to me. I just created a cheap course, and the tagline is it's cheaper than two bad dates. And it's very –
• 38:37
  Very simply, what do the eyebrows tell you? So we talked about eyebrow height. Eyebrow shape tells you how do they want the information presented to them. Like are they facts, figures, data? Do they want to know what's their angle? Or do they care about the people around them more than they care about themselves? So all these things vary, and that's what eyebrows can tell you about someone. So that's what that dating course is on. And, like, for example, if you go out on a date,
• 38:59
  and you have a fuller upper lip and they have a flatter upper lip, well, they're not going to open up until they feel like you've earned that right. That's why we say the phrase, keep a stiff upper lip. Or if somebody has a small mouth, they don't talk a lot. That's why we, what's the opposite of that? Hey, you got a big mouth. What does a big mouth have? Literally a big mouth because it's somebody who talks and shares information. And that's the funny thing. We talk about faces nonstop.
• 39:23
  when we're learning stuff. And then the basic cheat sheet, if everybody goes to decodetheface.com is eyebrow height, eyebrow shape, and then eye angles because those three alone benefit you three different ways. It's how long do they take to make a decision? How do they want the information presented? And then the eye angle tells you
• 39:43
  Do you talk about the potential downsides first or do you focus on the positives and the upside? Those three things keep you in this zone from eyebrow to eye and give you credit for that eye contact like we talked about. One more time with that website because we're going to put in the show notes. Yeah, decodetheface.com. The funny thing is my website is subtleskills.com, but nobody can spell subtle. So I had to figure out what's another URL that I could buy.
• 40:08
  The one thing I love about you is you just keep giving back and you keep pouring. And since I saw you, what are we four or five months now? Yeah. You've grown tremendously and you,
• 40:20
  I'm really proud of you and very happy to have you on the show. And thank you for, for jumping on this. You went into the power of the eyebrows. So I want to really deep dive into the why angled brows mean you need to understand first before trusting. Cause this is the one that always throws me for a loop. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to show it to you. So let me open up a PowerPoint. I want, cause I'm a visual learner and I know you're auditory, but let's help out the rest of your audience. Right. Um, let me show you what eyebrows.
• 40:49
  Okay, so this one's right out of the presentation I did for in LA last week. All right, so you can see the three people there? Yes. Okay, so even Legos knows that there's three basic shapes of eyebrows. There's straight eyebrows, angled eyebrows, and rounded eyebrows.
• 41:04
  And we all played that game as a kid. The way you win is to put the right peg in the right hole. And so when you start looking at people, you can actually see, based on what their eyebrow is, how they take in and process information. So straight eyebrows, they get straight to the point, facts, figures, and data. And what I love is in the whole presentation, I talk about authors and artists used to take courses in physiognomy to describe characters in a book.
• 41:29
  But film and television does the same thing to us. So if you look at Spock here, what's he known for? Logic.
• 41:36
  And what did they do to the actor's eyebrows? They made him straight. So if you know who this actor is in real life, he doesn't look like that. But television and movies have been altering people's faces to make that person match the character that they're portraying. So you know how I go with this? I consider that how I cheat with this. I call that straight-laced person. Straight eyebrows, straight-laced. So this is how my small brain works. I have to keep this. I remember this from when you gave the presentation when I first met you. I wrote it straight, straight-laced. Yes.
• 42:06
  They're going to be very logical. Yes, very logical. Facts, figures, data. And that's why I look at Warren Buffett, his glasses straight, his eyebrows straight. Does he care about whether or not the product is good? He doesn't care about public sentiment. He looks at the numbers. And that's how he decides to do things.
• 42:21
  And guys also understand this is the dominant. They'll have other traits, but this is the dominant trait. Yeah. This is the one that you get credit for eye contact and it tells you so much about people. And the thing about eyebrows is because the muscles that are here, they're constantly changing. So as a matter of fact, I mean.
• 42:40
  go back one because i know what your audience is probably thinking is what a lot of people think so i'm going to backtrack and show you a few slides real fast um i must admit this is the first time we've used slides in the show but we'll we'll make it work well yeah if you don't think eyebrows are important just go and google people without eyebrows whoa yeah or the same thing what happens if you change somebody's eyebrows
• 43:05
  Guys, you got to watch this on YouTube. This is great. We'll flash them up on the socials. And you can look. I just went and Googled babies with eyebrows drawn on, but it changes how we see them. And the last one is if you don't think it's important, remove one feature from someone's face. Oy. So eyebrows matter way more than we give them credit for. So going back to it, we talked about straight eyebrows.
• 43:25
  Angled eyebrows, just you have to think what's their angle. And that means help them understand that, involve them in the process. Angled eyebrow people need to really get it. I used to have straight eyebrows as a kid. They became angled when I became a corporate trainer, then a sales engineer, then a salesperson. Why? Because you have to learn about your product to communicate it to other people.
• 43:46
  So I was constantly going to the engineers like explain it to me show me give me let me play with it. Once I learned how it worked I could explain how the customer could benefit. So Ruth Ginsburg here wanted to help women she had to go to law school first so she had to learn what was her angle how could she then turn around and help people.
• 44:01
  And then the third one, rounded eyebrows, think about the people around them. And so I know Oprah, she's kind of a polarizing figure one way or the other. But why did we watch her show? We didn't watch it for Oprah. We watched it for who is she going to interview and what might she give to the audience. So we weren't – even though the show's name was Oprah, it was never about Oprah. It was always about the other people. So that's what you think about is –
• 44:25
  How do people with rounded eyebrows think? How do they help other people? The other picture down below, Mother Teresa, this is a statue of her in Poland. What do you see? Rounded eyebrows. So when you see rounded eyebrow people, you don't, let's say I'm selling them since you do IT or an AI.
• 44:41
  You don't talk about how they win, but how if they get your product, they keep their customers' data safe, their coworkers' data safe. You don't make it about the person. Now, this one is, this is why my product is the best, and once you get this, you know how to help your customers. But rounded eyebrows are, this is how your customers benefit. Right?
• 44:57
  So I'm still selling the same product, but I'm talking to the person in the room. So then if you see people who have straight eyebrows, like you said, straight laced, I like to say, get straight to the point, give them bullet points as least information to let them move forward as quick as possible.
• 45:12
  I have a funny question. I have a funny follow-up. So women now all draw their eyebrows on. Is there some kind of subconscious that makes them draw the angled, the straight, or the round? Yes and no. It depends on who taught them how to put on their makeup or what do they want. So there's a study of younger girls who don't feel in control of their life do one of two things. So they'll do one of two things.
• 45:38
  So the first one is get a tattoo showing ownership in my own body, or they'll shave off their eyebrows and they'll draw angled ones. And you'll see this on younger girls quite a bit. And that's because they want to be included. They want to have an authority. And that's why they'll do the angled eyebrows. Right.
• 45:54
  is this still has this still fits if they've drawn on their eyebrows is what you're correct yes if they draw it on they're telling the world how they want to be perceived and now yeah while we're talking about eyebrows it's really no different don't they get up and say i want to use rouge to make my cheeks look wider or i'm gonna wear lipstick to enhance my lips they just didn't know why they were doing it but they still get up and make that conscious choice every day of of this entire palette what do i want you to pay attention to
• 46:20
  So fellas, here's your dating advice from Kelly Siegel. I just listened to this. Small upper eyelids and round eyebrows. Look for those. You can't, and it depends on what you have and what you want, right? Well, like attracts like. So I would say go for what you are because, you know, you know how dating is. It's like, let me put my best foot forward. It's not really who I am. That's what the problem with sales is. I have no...
• 46:47
  I go, that's where the confidence comes in place. I'm going to go and here's what I have. Here's the proof. I'm not selling a promise. I can deliver on the promise. I've been going this whole time and I just literally have to ask this question. And I can't wait. What's the craziest thing you've ever uncovered while reading faces? What people will share when they feel seen and heard. A very, very simple one.
• 47:17
  And when it first happened, I was in shock and I kind of stood back. And that was this girl had rounded eyebrows, super thin upper lip and rounded chin. But she had one of the deepest verbal affirmation lines that were right here. And what I said to her is you could tell that she kind of kept herself small. And I said, listen, your rounded eyebrows, your rounded cheeks, your thinner upper lip and your rounded chin all scream that you are a people person and you love taking care of other people.
• 47:47
  The problem that you're having is this little line right here. When you're doing all those things for other people and you're not showing them what you're doing for them, you're never going to get the thank you for what you're doing behind the scenes. And she burst into tears. And my first time to ever happen, I was like, oh, shit, let me stand back. But what I learned from my mentor, Mac, the guy who wrote the book is, no, you sit with the person in the moment. Mm-hmm.
• 48:10
  because they feel seen. And by you backing away, it's teaching them that there's something wrong with how they feel that they haven't been able to share. So now like one in 10, one in 20 times, someone will tear up because they don't believe that anybody has ever really seen them. There's other things too.
• 48:28
  There's something if there's a little line across here, people squint, it's called a burnout line. Now burnout line is there because somebody's just squinted their face and they've gone through something so tough and I'll say, hey, you have a burnout line. I don't know what the shit you went through was, but I know it was intense and good for you for being here and smiling.
• 48:44
  Now, that line doesn't tell me what it was. It just tells me they were making that face over and over. And people will open up and tell you the craziest things about their childhood and about everything else. And so to answer your question, there is no one single story. It's this plethora of stories of once someone feels seen,
• 49:03
  They feel open to sharing. And maybe you're the only person they've ever told in their life of something because you're the person who's made them feel seen when they feel like they've either been hidden or dismissed by the rest of the world.
• 49:16
  I hope that everybody's enjoying as much as I am. I literally, I, as you say something, I'm touching my, how many people are touching your face right now? We're listening to this. I'm touching to see, I got the fricking the bridge. I got the lit and it's like, you're just touching and looking and feeling and looking in the, in the zoom. And I'm like, Oh, this is so good. I hope everybody's enjoying it.
• 49:38
  You just dropped another gem and I want to on the, the, the, you can read all the faces you want. You can study all languages, but if you're able to connect with somebody truly authentically transparently, and they literally cry and you save, hold space for them, you're an incredible human being. Yes. And who cares what happens after that?
• 50:05
  Just hold space and time for that person. In today's world, we're extremely divided.
• 50:13
  And that's been happening an inordinate amount to me lately. And that's how I know I'm on the right path. I will. I just was at a retreat, a 275 pound absolute killer, like a guy that's in the Pentagon who's in the military. I read something from him and I asked him a quick question and he just burst out in tears and I just hugged him. And this dude is a scary dude. And yet we were able to connect. And now we're friends like you and I are.
• 50:43
  That's at the end of the day, you can use all these to your advantage, but just be yourself and be authentic. Tell the truth. And just, Hey man, if you're nervous, just say, I'm nervous. Because you know, I straight eyebrows tend to, tend to not resonate with me. I re I learned from Brian, the straight eyebrows and you'll get a laugh. Like, wait a minute. What do you mean straight eyebrows? Well, I took this course from Brian Gahlke and he said straight laced people. And I'm just a really laid back person. And you watch.
• 51:13
  how the connection happens, guys. That's harder than life. My new book, Happier in Life is gonna talk all about this stuff. But I just want you guys to just be authentic. And here's the best part about doing these things. You push the people away who aren't for you, who aren't authentic, who have nefarious thoughts and missions and are reading this to gain advantage.
• 51:37
  Nobody that's listening to this podcast is looking to gain any advantage. They just want to help people. So sit in people's shit with them. Let them know they're not alone because that's all we need in this world. United we stand. Divided we fall. That was my quick thing. I want to dip into the filters as well as plastic surgery, fillers. What is all those?
• 52:04
  How does what you do to your face, we talked a little bit about it, what the drawing on, but how does the plastic surgery and the fillers and even the filters that people use, what does that say about their emotions and their communication style? It depends on what they're having done, and it's called an affect versus an effect. So an affect is when you change something about a face,
• 52:28
  then it will change how people treat that person. So the affect creates the effect. Now let's go away from faces for a minute. If you've ever seen somebody who's in workout gear and they get their first nice suit, what do they do? They stand a little taller, you know, they feel a little sexier or some women was when, like I know a girl who, when it's presentation time, she puts on her high heels and that's part of her uniform, her outfit. It gives her confidence. Plastic surgery is just a more full-time confidence factor. So I,
• 52:57
  This was years ago. A buddy of mine's brother-in-law is a prominent plastic surgeon in Dallas. And what he found is when some women had an augmentation, let's say, below their throat and above their belly button, they tended to be engaged or married within a year.
• 53:15
  And it was not about that thing changed it, but their confidence changed when they had that done. Now, that's when that was the main plastic surgery. Now, fillers in lips and faces and everything else, why do people get number one plastic surgery right now? Lip enhancement. Why? Because fuller lips are more approachable. That's why if you look at...
• 53:36
  Older women, when they draw on their lipstick, they'll draw larger lips than they actually have because subconsciously every book we ever read and every character that was described to us, thinner upper lip people were more private, more reserved. That's why we say the phrase, keep a stiff upper lip.
• 53:51
  you know, or my lips are sealed. All these things are, hey, stay away, give me space. But when you have fuller upper lips, you're seen as more approachable. So that's one. A newer one is to give people higher, rounder cheeks here. Well, cheeks are like gas gauges of how much energy do they have. The reason for having larger, rounded cheeks is they're called movie star cheeks. Why are they called movie star cheeks? Actors and actresses were hired based on stage lights reflecting off of their face.
• 54:17
  And so when people walk in that have high and rounded cheeks, they get attention from other people because the way that light reflects off of them. And by human nature, we pay attention when somebody walks in a room. And when those cheeks are there, we're like, oh, okay, that's really cool. So that's why cheek enhancement is really popular right now.
• 54:33
  If you look at somebody who's had a small chin, well, smaller chins, when we say take one on the chin, you can tell they don't handle criticism and adversity very well. If they get chin implants, it's not necessarily the feature. It's how they feel about it. So a really good book on that subject, Psycho-Cybernetics by Malcolm Maltz. So Brad Lee told me to read this book, and it's a really good book. This guy was a plastic surgeon, and what he found is you could change something in someone's face, and they became a brand new person. Or...
• 55:02
  You could change something. And in the mirror, they didn't see the change because they were still mentally stuck. So it's not necessarily about the physical feature. It's the mental association that's associated with the procedure that changes personality. Wow. This is awesome. I have three more questions and five minutes to do it. So let's kind of keep these a little bit quicker. And these are good ones that I really, I'm sure the audience is going to know. So are there any famous celebrities or leaders whose face tell an interesting story?
• 55:28
  We just had the Oscars, so is there anything you read? There's a lot of people that have it. The problem, like you said earlier, is most of the pictures, you have to go and Google their real face versus what is published online. Because what do photographers do? They get rid of blemishes. They change lines and everything else. But what you'll see in a lot of people who were CEOs or had to be a leadership position is they have strong jaws.
• 55:53
  They have strong chin and they have these little areas that kind of droop right here. Those are called power pouches. And that's from having to take one on the chin for other people while also holding in your jaw right here. And literally taking one on the chin and gritting at the same time is what creates those little pouches that are right there in the face. That's a simple one. See how big mine are? Yeah, exactly.
• 56:14
  I hate you. So that's one. And then you look, there's just different lines. There's an actor that I actually know. He was on 24 and some other ones, and this was back in the clubhouse days. I had two pictures of him that were a week apart. And for the people who are listening, on the right – I'm sorry, the left-hand side of their face, from the nose, like this part of the cheek that goes down to the mouth, one picture of this was very light. And then the picture a week later, super deep. And I said to this actor, I said –
• 56:42
  What in the world happened to you in between those two pictures? He said, I found out that my brother that I was closest to in life died in between those two pictures. This is called a disappointment line that can turn into a grief line down here. So that disappointment was he was on set when his brother died. And a week later, that was so deep, it had a shadow there.
• 57:03
  Wow. The face can't lie, people. All right. Two more questions. Yep. What is the most common feature that people misunderstand about themselves? I'll give you a different one. And this one's not a resting facial feature. It's a, it's a active one. If you need glasses, go and get them. If you need contacts, go and get them. Because what people don't realize they're doing is they're doing this and it comes off as a resting bitch face. When in reality, you just need to get glasses so you can see. So people who have a furrowed brow, they're like, why does everybody think I'm so mean or angry?
• 57:32
  It's because you giving a furrowed brow is an angry look. So I always do that because I'm always thinking. I tell people all the time, like, I'm not being mad. I'm just, I'm analyzing. Yes. I think I said that to you when I met you. All right. Last question. And we'll get out of here. And thank you. I hope people. Awesome. I don't have to tell you to share this. This is just, you're doing really good work and everybody needs to enhance this because we just, communication is key and we need to communicate better as humans and,
• 58:00
  And really just tell the darn truth. What are the biggest mistakes people make when trying to read faces? Staring too much and pointing at other people's faces. So this is what I did wrong too. Everybody does it. Is we get so excited. And for people who look in the camera like, oh, look, and you do this. And nobody likes a finger pointing at us in our face. So what I had to learn over time was I would say, hey, Kelly, you know, you have straight eyebrows. I'm pointing at my own face so that you can see what I'm talking about.
• 58:30
  But we have a tendency when we get all excited, like, oh my God, look, they've got this. And we stick our fingers in somebody else's face. Nobody likes to be pointed at. When you're learning this, learn to point at your own face, even though you're describing them. That was fighting words. So real quick, what's the, spell the website and how do people reach you? So the easiest way is just decodetheface.com. Everything on social media, though, if you can spell subtle, S-U-B-T-L-E, it's everything is subtle skills.
• 58:57
  So that's how that's where I'm an Instagram, Facebook, you name it. And because Brian Galky is kind of hard to spell. But yeah, if you go to decode the face, you can get to pretty much everything. If there's nothing else you get, just go to get the cheat sheet dot com. Right. Because that's how you can go get the cheat sheet.
• 59:13
  guys put that in a show notes, get the cheat sheet. Everybody's going to want to do that. You know, if you guys message me, we'll send that to you. That's, that's good stuff. Thank you. Of course. Thank you for playing. Thank you for being you. And I see you growing and putting positivity out in the world. That's literally the cheat code. You can have all these skills, know how to read, know how to count cards, know how to do everything. Just be yourself and provide value. Zig Ziglar said it.
• 59:40
  Help everybody else get what they want and you will get what you want. It's karmic law, people. That's being happier than life and that's being harder than life. Put somebody else's needs before yours and watch your needs be met. Till next time, be harder than life. I love you all.
• 59:58
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.