Latest / ok storytime / I think my friend is being STALKED… and nobody believed me! -r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP3099

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I think my friend is being STALKED… and nobody believed me! -r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP3099 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming right up.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: I think my friend is being stalked and nobody believes me.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this is a horror movie.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: I know I'm not paranoid enough to be imagining things.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: For the past two weeks, I've noticed this strange woman
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: following my friend, male 25, around at a distance that's
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: far enough not to be suspicious, but close enough to
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: watch where he'd be going should he make a sudden turn.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: I've made several attempts to confront her, but she bolts
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: every time.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: What?
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Time out.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Are you stalking your friend too?
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: OP is stalking the friend. That's the twist.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: How are you seeing this from afar every time?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: I've been trailing him for weeks. And now I have competition.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Every time I point her out, she vanishes or is
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: outright denied. It's gotten to a point that my friend
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: is growing visibly irritated with me and my insistence that
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: he's being stalked. I'm afraid of going to the police
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: without substantial evidence that this is happening, so I turn
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: to you good people. What should be done, if anything
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: at all? By the way, this comes from Andy Shisnu,
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers, so if you've got answers,
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: put them down below. And we've got more stuff from OP.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: OP says, so a lot of people here seem to
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: be questioning my mental health, and while that hurts, I
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: do see where they're coming from. I do not have schizophrenia,
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: nor a family history of schizophrenia. Believe me, I've checked.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: As for pictures and videos, I've tried to, but she
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: runs away as I attempt to snag something. I'll try
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: to follow the idea of making it discreet. Maybe that
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: will help. As for some clarifications, she runs away whenever
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: I try to point her out, either by ducking into
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: another street or blending into a crowd. Now, the only
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: reason I've come to notice her is because I have
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: a tendency to look behind me and I've noticed her
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: quickly going away and trying to hide. OP said, I'm
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: not paranoid, but like when he's walking, he's just like.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I have to look, well, honestly, I'm on that case too.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: You're a behind looker?
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I just like to notice my surroundings. Like I do,
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I won't do it like every five seconds, but I'll
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: like look around to get an idea.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: I hadn't confirmed it wasn't my imagination until a few
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: days ago when I used the reflection of my glasses
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: to get a good look at her following us. Oh
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: my gosh.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Dude, I don't believe you.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Are we Tom Cruise?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Are you like, am I six? Are you a spy?
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Oh, he's like. The trailing us. Go faster.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Take the next ride. Q, help me.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: Where do I go? Look, if people doubt me enough,
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I'll just file in the notice but ignore file in
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: my head. Wouldn't be the first time. And we do
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: have an update. Following much of the advice offered, I
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: managed to get a handful of pictures and videos. Cost
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: me a couple bucks, but it was worth it to
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: prove I wasn't imagining things. Rather than go to the police,
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: I opted to show my buddy. At first, he was
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: in denial, laughing it off as nonsense. Until he noticed
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: that the oldest picture I took was three days ago.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: He asked me if I had actually noticed her for
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: a while now, and I told him yes.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: And he's like, I told you so.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: He seemed pretty overwhelmed, though he did apologize for doubting me.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: He says he'll think about what to do before we
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: head off to work. Neglected to mention that we work
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: at the same place and live in the same apartment complex,
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: which is why I've noticed her a lot. Sorry for
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: the lack of forethought. He genuinely acts surprised, maybe a
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: bit afraid. I wonder if I should take this to
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: the police. I'll post updates when they come, but I'm
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: just glad he doesn't think that I need to be
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: admitted to a psych ward and that he apologized. And edit,
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: a lot of people have been asking questions. And while
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: I'd like to get to each of them, it's difficult
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: to Reddit and work at the same time. So I'll
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: be addressing the commonly asked questions and ones that struck
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: a chord with me. Question one, how do I know
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: it's not me being stalked? It's a fair question. Honestly,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: I thought it was me at first, but then I
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: started traveling alone, watching myself. Either she's only following me
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: when I'm with my friend, or it's my friend who's
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: being followed. Question two, is my friend in a relationship
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: or legal troubles? No and no, as far as I know.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Unless he's venting, he doesn't talk about financial or legal troubles,
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: and he's still recovering from a breakup three months ago,
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: and he's J with a G. Does he recognize her?
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: If he does, he didn't say anything to me. Do
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: you do pranks often? He's one of those people who
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: likes being serious, but appreciates a good joke. But this
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: is something neither of us would want. Someone says, consider
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: hiring a PI. Tempting, and I will bring that option
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: up if necessary. Another person says, show us pictures. NOP responds,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: as much as I'd like to. I feel as though
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: the sensitivity and uncertainty of the situation calls for caution.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: If things get dire enough, I'll consider it. If you
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: doubt me because I refuse to post pictures, then that's
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: your decision. If you believe me or not, doesn't change reality.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Another person says, is this fake? Opie says, I effing wish.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: I'd like nothing more than for all of this to
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: be an elaborate hoax or joke that winds up me
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: being the punchline. We've decided to go to the police
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: department after we get off work. We both work at
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: the university, and more updates will follow afterwards. And we
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: do have a second edit. No one asked if this
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: guy was adopted. I need to know if he was adopted.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Yes. I want to know the age range of this person.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: I want to know ages.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: I want to know if he's adopted.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: I want to know everything.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Honestly, Sophia.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's different because you are a woman. But if
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: you had a stalker.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: I would be scared.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: You would be terrified. I would also be kind of
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: terrified too. But if it's two versus one.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Two guys. Well, but he's potentially also being followed when
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: he's alone.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Well, usually this happens. At least we can find out
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: the occurrence common denominator. As long as we're together, we're
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: being followed.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, this is what I would do. Say
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: it's me and Dakota.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Or even you and me. And we're like, we're being followed. Like,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: act casual, act casual. We're going to turn this corner sharp.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: And then we're going to just jump them. Yeah. Like,
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: we're going to start chasing them.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, I agree.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I just, yeah.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: That's what I would do. I mean, yes, there are dangers.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: But if you are in a public setting, say it's
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: always on the street and like, oh my gosh, they
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: get lost in the crowd. I'm going after them.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, confront them.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I'm confronting. I'm like, who are you?
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: What's going on? Edit two. The matter has been resolved.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Who is it? I need to know.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: I need to know. And things are relatively normal now.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: As far as I'm concerned, this just means I'll be
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: able to finally get a decent night's sleep.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: What the heck?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, tell me who it was. Excuse me, what do
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: you mean it's been resolved? How dare you say it's
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: resolved and not give us the truth?
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Edit 3, sorry for the awful update. Work is getting
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: a bit hectic. So we secured a police car to
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: watch over the complex until morning, which we then followed
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: our usual routine. The lady returned once again and was
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: finally apprehended. I'm not sure what will follow, but I'll
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: try to keep everyone posted in the next week or so.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: We've got a second update. We're about to find out.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I need to know. Unmask this villain. Scooby-Doo this person.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Who was it?
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Sean!
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Was it your friend all along?
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Update two, anyways. So the lady turned out to be
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: someone from his high school days. Had some sort of
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: crush on him, I don't know. He's been mum on
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: the matter, and he's been a private person to begin with.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: I say he's a friend, but we've been working together
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: for almost a year and a half, and I've been
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: neighbors just as long. I saw that we were being followed,
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: felt concerned, documented it, and brought it to the police.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: A restraining order is being filed, no doubt. Not sure
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: if he'll press charges. I can ask, but I don't
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: like to pry. I let people mind their own business
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: when it seems appropriate. All I know is that he's
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: guaranteed she'll not bother us anymore. I.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Is that guaranteed?
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: How is that guaranteed?
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: This feels like when, you know, your boyfriend has a
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: friend that just got broken up with or just broke up.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: And you're like, hey, like, what happened? And they're like, oh,
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I didn't ask.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: What?
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: You didn't ask?
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: I just know they broke up.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: But why?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I just know that... What happened?
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's maybe getting a restraining order.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Who is this?
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: You got so super sleuth on, who is this person
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: chasing you?
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: You were using your sunglasses, and you can't even tell
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: us what happened.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: In the end.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're getting all the descriptions, all the details.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Ridiculous.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: And at the very end, you go, it was somebody.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: I don't want to pry. None of my business.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Fine.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: What is it? Sleeping dogs lie or whatever? Ugh. You
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: won't be. I was a sleeping dog. Yeah, you don't
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: want to bother the issue anymore. But I'd be like, oh,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: it's guaranteed she won't come back in our lives. Have
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: you not seen any other scary movie?
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's coming back. But that's the end of that story, folks.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: We cooked dinner abroad and my friend grabbed the wrong
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: bag off the shelf.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: What was in the bag?
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: I was with my friends, which we will call Big
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: S and Big T. We wanted to travel together and
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: go to Budapest. We got there and began to explore
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: the city. The first day, everything went smooth. The second day,
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: we had to visit the parliament. The afternoon, free and
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: a boat tour in the evening. Everything was going according
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: to plan until it came time to have dinner. We
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: didn't have much time, so we had to do something fast.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: First thing that popped up in our minds, since we
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: are Italian, is to make some pasta. So we went
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: to the store to buy the ingredients to make it.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: We managed to find basically everything except salt. So while
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: Big T went to another store to look for it,
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: me and Big S remained to pay. By the way,
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: this comes from the normal person. And if you want
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: I'm Big K.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily. But we
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: How could you not find salt?
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: That's like the.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Staple. We met up later at home, and since we
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: are in Hungary and none of us can read or
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: speak Hungarian, we couldn't understand a single thing that was
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: written on the packaging. We just knew that salt is so,
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: so we didn't think it could have been anything else.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: The cooking started, the salt was very fine, and we
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: needed like big salt for the water, so logically we
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: put a lot of it. Fast forward a couple minutes,
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: we're ready to eat, everything's set, but when we began eating,
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: something felt off. The pasta tasted sour. So Big S
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: took a pinch of salt and immediately told us to
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: stop eating, but we didn't. That was not cooking salt.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: Our first thought was maybe it was something cleaning related,
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: so we started searching online for answers. We slowly pieced
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: together what that was and immediately panicked. Turns out it's
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: a powerful laxative, and if eaten too much... it can
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: have serious health consequences but its effects can be limited
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: by drinking a lot of water so we did exactly
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: that What?
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: You guys are.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: You guys are dumb. Yeah, you know what?
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: You guys are like actual idiots.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: You know what? Good job. Yeah, we're going to call
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: you out, Opie.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Like, okay, I'm just going to... I'm going to highlight
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: all of the times that you could have figured this out.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: You go to the store. You can't find the salt.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: First of all, salt's usually in... specific containers yes so
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: don't know how that didn't work out second of all
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: ask someone ask someone anyone be like salt salt a
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: lot of hungarians especially if you're in budapest speak english
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: and i know you speak italian but i'm assuming that
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: you speak a little bit of english or at.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Least at the very end of the day yeah broken english.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah well i like they unless they're translated this there
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: could have been you probably know enough english to be
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: like salt so yeah i'm looking this up right now Yeah, well,
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: like sal is.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Sal is.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, is salt.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: In Hungary.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's salt. That's what they said.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Is this S-A-L?
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: S-O.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: S-O, salt, like salt?
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Like S-O. Okay, in the end, we all were fine.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: Turns out we didn't eat enough to have any effect
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: on us, other than scarring us a lot. In conclusion,
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Epsom salt is not used for cooking. If you take
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: more than 30 grams in one day, you could feel sick.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: It can be a laxative. And lastly, you can use
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: it for baths and foot soaking.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: Which we later did.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: At least you made use of it. Congrats.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: That's the end of the story.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Life lesson.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: Don't be like this person.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Life lesson. And that's the end of this story. We're
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: gonna go on to the next one. Our girlfriends can't
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: stand each other, and it's costing me my friend.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Uh-oh, fight.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: My best friend, 26 male, let's call him Paul, and I,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: 26 male, have been inseparable for 15 years. We've basically
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: been brothers since middle school, and we even lived together
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: for six years. For years now, it's been a dream
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: of ours that one day we'd both find wives, go
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: on these fun double dates, and eventually conjoin families, since
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: neither of us have brothers. Aww.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Cute.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: I'm sure that'll work out great.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: But now, it feels like all of that is falling apart,
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: and more is starting to go with it. Paul's girlfriend,
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: 23 female, is pretty quiet. They've been together about five years.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I know her well, since she was around constantly, so
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: I practically live with her too. She's like a sister
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: to me, although I'll admit her immaturity can be frustrating sometimes.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: On the other side, I've been with my girlfriend, 26 female,
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: for three years. She's much more social, but she can
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: also be very sensitive. I'm trying to remain unbiased.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: He's like, I love her. She's amazing. But she's amazing.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: But I have a little, I have a little bias-y,
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: or I have a little bias opinion on this because
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: it's my girlfriend. When we first started dating, I really
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: wanted the two of them to get along, but it
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: completely backfired. Now it feels like they despise each other.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: My girlfriend tries to be friendly and social, but Paul's
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: girlfriend is so quiet and shy that she comes across
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: as rude. It's gotten to the point where my girlfriend
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: hates being around her so much that she doesn't even
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: want to spend time with her anymore. So, now every
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: time Paul asks if we want to go on a
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: double date, I have to awkwardly say no, because my
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: girlfriend can't stand being around his girlfriend. I understand why
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: she feels that way, and I don't think she's being unreasonable,
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: but now it's starting to affect my friendship with Paul.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: And now there's another layer to it. By the way,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: this comes from user DeepBook9664. And if you want to
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: And both of us are going to give good advice goofily.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Or we'll try, at least. We don't know everything. Let
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: us know what you do in the comments down below,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: pretty please. As OP says. So, my girlfriend and I
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: have our own company. And Paula has his own business, too.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Dang, look at you guys.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: At 26 in this economy?
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, geez louise.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Paul's business is now a client of our business. My
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: girlfriend is great at event planning, influencer marketing, and brand relations.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: She's done it professionally for five years at major companies
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: before starting our business with me. But now Paul's girlfriend
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: has basically forced herself into the event planning for Paul's business.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Even though my girlfriend has already secured 15 brand sponsorships
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: and built a huge guest list, Paul's girlfriend has started
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: emailing brands herself, giving excessive design input and trying to
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: influence Paul's approvals and decisions. And if you know anything
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: about marketing, or honestly, just professionalism, double emailing a brand
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: for sponsorship makes you look disorganized and uncoordinated. So, her
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: just going and doing that is dumb. It almost feels
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: like it's coming from jealousy. What it feels like is
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Paul was really impressed with my girlfriend with what she
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: was doing, And his girlfriend suddenly wanted to prove she
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: could do it too. And since she doesn't work and
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: is basically a stay-at-home girlfriend, she's in limited time to
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: involve herself. I don't know what to do. It's starting
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: to bother me. But I don't want to make anything
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: awkward or create drama. Brother, it's been created.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the drama's already there.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: It's already there.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: It's too late.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: They already don't like each other. I don't know what
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: to tell you.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: We can only go up.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah. At the same time, I can feel myself starting
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: to resent Paul's girlfriend too. And I hate that. I'm
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: even considering pulling our company out of working with Paul
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: because I don't want this dynamic to ruin our friendship.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Paul is my brother and I don't want to lose
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: him or let any of this get in the way.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: But I know how he can be defensive of his girlfriend.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: What should I do? And we have an update, Sophia.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: What should OP do?
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's always tough mixing friendship and business.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: And friendship.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Love and love yeah true true.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: That's a concoction yeah that could be so.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: Good not great trifecta there so bad um the love
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: triangle oh yes uh well i think you should just
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: talk to paul you've been friends with him so long
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: i just like communicate all this.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: I feel like op has let's be real he has
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: but yeah i want to know what it's like what's
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: he saying like i'm gonna be honest op you're girl
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: like paul's girlfriend your girlfriend they don't have to be
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: sisters they don't have to like each other they don't
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: have to like each other but they need to understand
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: that hey paul and i and we're gonna be seeing
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: each other a lot so get used to it kind.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: Of thing yeah like it kind of does have to
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: you know you kind of have to have a conversation
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: with your girlfriend and be like hey you do not
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: have to be best friends with this girl but like
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: you got to be respectful.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Let's be a little cordial and i get it she's
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: a little quirky she's a little awkward she doesn't like
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: to speak.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Okay yeah that's not that i don't know everything that
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: op has told me of why his girlfriend doesn't like
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: this girl is just like she's quiet.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah i haven't gotten any reason why they hate each
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: other or like why they dislike each other because you
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: guys tried something and then it just backfired.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: We also don't even know if like uh the girl
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: the other girlfriend dislikes op's girlfriend so.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: I think this is you one you should definitely have
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: a conversation with paul itself then a conversation with all
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: four yeah it's like we're adults let's be adults here
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: We have an update. The event setup was chaotic. I
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: went with my girlfriend and her assistant to go set
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: up the day prior, assuming we would just be meeting
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: Paul there. But of course, Paul's girlfriend was there too.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: The whole setup consisted of my girlfriend trying to do
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: her job, and Paul's girlfriend throwing in her own opinions
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: any chance she could. Even I started getting annoyed. There
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: was one instance where I was hanging something on the
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: ceiling and my girl was telling me to move it
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: one way and Paul's the other. I had to go
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: to Paul and tell him, hey, just too many captains here,
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: it's slowing us down. And he said he'd tell her,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: but there wasn't much of a change. Anyways, my girlfriend
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: barely got through it. She even said something out loud
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: when Paul's girlfriend started to really get on her nerves
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: that I'm very lucky that was not heard. The event
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: day was when crap really hit the fan. The event
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: setup was essentially like a big party, but to get
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: the most bang for our buck and to keep the
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: space spacious, we threw it like three back-to-back parties of
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: 40 people each. People would come in, try the coffees,
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: the matchas, enjoy some treats, socialize, take videos, etc. Everybody
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: on the day had a role. And since Paul's girlfriend
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: was so eager to help out before, I gave her
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: a role as well. A lot of these people in
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: attendance were online influencers. A lot of them could be
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: regular content creators for us. So I gave her the
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: assignment of handing people their gift bags at the end.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: And when she hands it to them, see if they're
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: interested in a program we're running that would give them
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: free drinks in exchange for a weekly video. It was
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: the easiest job I had available, though very important. The
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: underlying purpose of the event was to establish an online
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: content creation network. So, anyways, it looked like she was
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: doing her job. I was obviously busy attending other things,
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: but of course when I went to her after the
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: second group left, she had zero signups. I asked her
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: if she had been asking people and she said, no.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: She said, people just walked out when I handed up
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: their bag. I said, well, you need to make a
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: point of it. You've already got their attention when you
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: hand them the gift bag. She basically just shrugged and
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: said something like, well, what am I supposed to do
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: if they're just walking out?
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then we go, okay, hey, why don't you
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: take over a different job and I'll do this.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: You gave her a simple, the simple yet most important
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: job of closing the deal.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: Especially like quiet, awkward girl. Maybe not the best person
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: to give that job to.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: You could have had her do anything else. Maybe. I
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: don't know. Paul heard what was happening, and he also
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: got upset. After a long back and forth and her
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: taking no accountability, instead of just saying, I'll try to
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: do it for the last group, she just handed me
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: everything and told me, I can do it. And then
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: she stormed off. I already know people will say, why
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: did you make a quieter person responsible for getting signups?
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: I did say that.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: We both said that. I literally had nobody else to
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: do it. Paul and his employees were making drinks. My
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: girlfriend was hosting, and I was getting all the content.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: It was an important job, and she was quite literally
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: the only person available.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: Like, genuinely, why couldn't she have made drinks? Why couldn't
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: Paul and her just swap?
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: Why couldn't she be the one filming content?
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like, why?
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: In the end, the event was at least a success
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: in other ways, and the mishap that happened ended up
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: turning into a blessing. as Paul then acknowledged his girlfriend's
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: behavior and said he's just going to keep her out
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Nice. What I haven't gotten yet is having a discussion
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: with Paul about his girlfriend.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like we're kind of hinting at things,
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: but we still haven't had the actual conversation.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: And you don't have to be like, I don't know.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: I get it. OP said I don't really want to
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: talk to him about it because he's defensive about his girlfriend.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: But you see Paul as your brother.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: And you see his girlfriend as your sister. I feel
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: like you can have an adult conversation with your literal
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: brother and sister in this context.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, yeah.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: I think that's the only way I would say could
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: fix things, but I don't know.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Let's finish up the story. Paul told me his girlfriend
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: just out of nowhere got really motivated to help. He
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: said he knew she was doing stuff she wasn't qualified
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: to do, but he hadn't seen her motivated to do
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: anything for a while, so he didn't want to stop her.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: He said he appreciated us being a good sport about
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: things and apologized for the situation. As far as my
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: girlfriend and his not getting along, that's just a ticking
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: time bomb. I know one day it'll explode, but until then,
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: this is the only update I got. And we have
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: a side note. I see a lot of TikTok comments
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: asking what I meant by merge families, haha. I just
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: mean Paul and I don't have any siblings. Paul also
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: doesn't have either of his parents anymore, so we always
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: thought it would be a nice idea if our kids
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: could at least have an uncle. And that's the end
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: of that story. I mean, yeah, that one made sense
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: to me. Merge families, but I know, I got it. LP,
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: maybe you had the conversation, but I think you really
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: need to have that conversation. Of, Paul, let's address the
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: elephant in the room. My girlfriend and your girlfriend, no likey.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: What can we do to make them likey, you know?
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: They can like each other, right?
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, you could even bring it up like that
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: and say, like, hey, you don't even have to put
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: it on his girlfriend or anything. Just say, hey, like,
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you've noticed.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: We're a team.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: But there's some tension here. Let's work it out.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's work this tension out. Let's be a team here. Let's, like,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: we're going to be together for who knows how long.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Hopefully forever. But this ticking time bomb? Let's stop that.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: That is the end of that story. I opened up
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: about my concerns to a friend and she said it
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: never happened.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: It just didn't happen.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Bro, starting off strong here.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: Bro.
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: Bro.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm losing my freaking mind here. I,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: 27 female, have a close friend who's also my business partner.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: For context, we started this business in the first place
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: because I'm autistic and she's a single mom to a toddler.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: We both know what it's like for the traditional working
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: world to not accommodate our needs. We wanted to build
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: a company that was different where people could communicate honestly,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: accommodate one another's needs, and build systems that work for
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: people instead of expecting them to just fit in the system.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: That shared vision is the foundation of our company. This
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: all started because she said something that hurt my feelings.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Instead of letting it build into resentment, I told her
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: I wanted to bring it up specifically because I value
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: our friendship. I thought communicating it was healthier than pretending
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: it didn't affect me. Her response was that what I
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: remembered wasn't what she said or meant, and that she
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: needed to step away because she was overwhelmed. I didn't
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: continue trying to have the conversation. This was problem number one. Okay.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you wanted to have a conversation, you got
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: to kind of have the conversation.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Kind of the meat in the middle. Around the same time,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: she told me she felt like she was hitting a wall.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: She said she was completely drained, overwhelmed, and barely getting
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: to spend any time with her son because with everything
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: going on. My response was to tell her I was
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: more than happy to carry the workload for the evening
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: and that she should take the night off and spend
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: time with her son. My intention wasn't to tell her
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: what to do. I thought I was supporting someone who
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: had just told me she had nothing left to give
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: because she was hitting a wall. She felt like I
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: was being controlling and making decisions for her instead of
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: respecting her autonomy.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: She's like, I don't know what you want.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: I was trying to help.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Then you go, what do you want?
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: What do you want?
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: What do you want me to do?
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not telling you what to do. I'm doing you
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: a favor. I apologized because that wasn't my intention. And
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: this was problem number two. By the way, this comes
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: from user Philafal. If you want to submit your own stories,
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily. We don't
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: know everything. We only know what we'd do. So let
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: us know what you'd do in the comments down below.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Pretty please. Thank you. As OP says, for additional context,
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: we've always structured our business around her son. Every Saturday,
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: we meet up at my house during his nap time.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: We all know toddlers are unpredictable. Naps don't always happen.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Meetings get interrupted. And sometimes they run much longer than planned.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: We never complained about that, or rushed her, or expected
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: her to, you know, stop being with her son. We've
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: written off our Saturdays every week to make that arrangement work,
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: and we've never held it against her or even mentioned it. Then,
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: completely unprompted, she told us that going forward, she would
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: only be able to meet on Saturdays if her son
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: went down for a nap, and that she'd only be
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: able to tell us on Saturday whether the meeting could
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: happen once she knew if he was sleeping.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: And then I'd say like, hey, that doesn't really work
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: for us. And why are we changing what we've been doing?
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: This business is built around my son, my son.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: My son. We do everything for my son.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: My son gets to decide if I go to work today.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: Every day I say, son, can I go to work?
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: And he says, no.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: I completely understood that she couldn't predict whether her toddler
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: would nap. I wasn't asking her to, so I assured
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: her that we've just been trying to accommodate them and
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: that's not a problem. The next day I asked whether,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: once Saturday morning arrived and she had a better feel
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: for how the day was unfolding, she could let us
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: know how things were looking so we could plan our day.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: When she said that wasn't possible, I asked her whether
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: we could find another solution together that would work for everyone.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: I wasn't asking her to change her boundary or make
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: guarantees about her son. I was trying to solve the
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: practical problem in a way that respected her circumstances while
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: also giving the rest of us some ability to plan
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: our weekends. Which, Sophia, is that too much to ask for?
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so unreasonable. Wanting to plan your weekends?
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: No.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: No can do.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: Then I'm taking a nap. Yeah. She said that even
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: asking to discuss another solution meant I wasn't respecting her boundary.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: Dude, you can't just say, oh, it's my boundary every
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: time we have an issue with this business.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Or something inconveniences you.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like we're trying to run a business. Our
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: business does not care about your boundary. We're going to
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: lose money, or I don't even know what you guys
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: are making, but the business is never going to go
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: anywhere if we just care about inconveniencing you.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah. One reason this was confusing for both my husband
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: and me was that this boundary felt like it came
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: out of nowhere. Up until then, we'd always worked through
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: problems together, and we'd already built the business around accommodating
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: her situation. So, when I was told I wasn't respecting
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: a boundary by trying to find another... Workable solution? I
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: didn't understand what I had done wrong. I tried to
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: explain that I wasn't questioning her and no one was
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: asking her to budge on her boundary. I told her
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: I respected that she needed space when she was overwhelmed.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: What I was struggling to understand was what happened after that.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: I wasn't asking her to continue talking before she was ready.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: I was asking how we... As friends and business partners,
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: we're supposed to resolve issues once she had the space
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: she needed. I wanted us to have a process that
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: respected her boundary while also making sure concerns didn't stay unresolved.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: What about your boundary, Opie?
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, your boundary of not dealing with annoying people.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: She felt that by asking how her boundary would work
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: in practice, that I wasn't respecting it.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: You can't even talk about her boundary. Her boundaries don't
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: mention my boundaries.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: What, I make a boundary and say... You're fired. This
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: business is not working.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: My boundary is I can't work with you.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: By this point, I was losing my patience, which I regret.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Why do you regret losing your patience because of her
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: boundaries that you can't talk about?
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: I told her that our communication had become distressing for
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: me because we repeatedly misunderstand each other. I asked her
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: to please, please take some time to research how to
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: support autistic people's communication needs when she could to help
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: me so I could help her. I wasn't saying she
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: was a bad communicator or blaming her for every misunderstanding.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: I was saying that the pattern itself wasn't working anymore.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: And between us, I don't feel confident that we can
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: build company that we envisioned if we cannot safely work
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: through difficult conversations. One part of the conversation that became
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: particularly difficult was that I repeatedly heard variations of, You
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: don't have a toddler, so you can't understand. And that
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: every mother would say the same thing. I don't have
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: a toddler. You're right. But what I do have is
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: a business with you. We need to find something to work.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, truly. It's just like, hey, if you can't do this,
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: you can't do this. Honestly, you're... But this is what
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: we need.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Your friend sounds like every inconvenience is either you're not
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: a mother or I'm setting a boundary that you don't respect,
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: which sounds... After hearing that several times, I eventually said
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I didn't think that was fair. I said that while
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: I can't understand her specific experience as a single mother,
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: I also don't think it's accurate to say every parent
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: approaches these situations the same way. Some parents need very
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: structured schedules, others are more flexible, and neither approach is wrong.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: I also told her that I felt like her circumstances
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: were being used to shut down the discussion because as
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: soon as I asked questions, I was told I couldn't
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: understand since I don't have a child. I said that
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: I felt my perspective was automatically being dismissed instead of
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: considered alongside hers. She later told me that saying this
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: was the final straw for her. She also told me
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: that this had been the most draining week of her life.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: She explained that she was going through many things, so
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: big ouch. As the conversations continued, I became increasingly frustrated,
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: and eventually, I lost my temper. I said things I
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: wish I expressed differently. I don't think losing my temper
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: helped the situation, even though I felt emotionally worn down
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: by what I experienced as repeated misunderstandings and assumptions about
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: my intentions. But I did tell her that I have
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: no issue with her boundaries, but how she's handling me
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: asking questions so aggressively. At the same time, I felt
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: like none of the original concerns were ever addressed. We
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: never discussed what had hurt my feelings. We never resolved
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: the misunderstanding around me trying to support her when she
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: said she was burnt out. We never found a solution
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: for planning meetings. We never discussed how we'd handle difficult
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: conversations in the future. Instead, I felt like every concern
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: I raised eventually became a discussion about whether I was
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: respecting her boundary. And yes, I have said this to
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: her explicitly, so it's not that she isn't aware of this. Eventually,
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: I told her that for my own well-being, I needed
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: to separate our friendship from our business relationship for now.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: I don't think she cares either or. It sounds like
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: that ship has sailed.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: Sounds like we might lose both.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: I said that until she... was able to communicate with
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: kindness and stop assuming the worst intentions behind what I
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: was saying, I wasn't willing to engage in conversations outside
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: of what was necessary for the business. I wasn't trying
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: to punish her or end the friendship forever. I set
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: this boundary for myself because I no longer felt emotionally
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: safe in the friendship while I felt like my intentions
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: were consistently being interrupted or interpreted in the worst possible light.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: And Opie says and asks, am I the a-hole? No.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: No.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: But only if you end this story promptly.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: And you stop working with this person because I don't
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: want to hear about it. I don't want to hear
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: about your friend's boundaries.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: How can you have a business when your business partner
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: is never there?
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: She's like, you're just not thinking of my boundaries. And
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: he's like, I'm thinking about The business that we're trying
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: to create that you don't even show up for.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: You go, we can't make a business around a napping baby.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Or you can. That's a pretty good idea. You know,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: I'm going to write that down. There's an edit here, Sophia.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Opie says, we have only just launched our business. Yeah,
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: that makes sense.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was obvious.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: And there has been no turnover as yet. We are pre-profit.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: And there's an update.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, I don't think you're going to be post-profit.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Uh, there goes the business. I think you're going to
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: have no profit. Yeah, zero business. I'm sorry.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: I mean, not everyone's made, not everyone is built to
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: work together. And that's why a lot of people don't
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: do business with their friends.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they usually say don't live with your friends or
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: like your best friends. Don't ever like roommate with your
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: best friends. Don't like get into businesses with your best friends.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it works. Don't date your best friends. Don't date
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: your best friends.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it works.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it... Listen, for all of those things, it's really
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: a coin flip. It could be like the best thing ever.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Or that relationship could end horribly.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the thing. It's just like there are more
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: risks because this is a person you're close to.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: We have an update. So, we ultimately agreed to part
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: ways with the business and try to preserve the friendship. Unfortunately,
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: the criticism of me continued. A few days ago, a
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: young child arrived at my house unattended, asked to come
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: inside to see my cats, and reached through my window.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: I live in a security estate and had no idea
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: who her mother was, so I posted in the community
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: group to find her family and raise the safety concern.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Her mother had been asleep and... had not realized her
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: daughter had slipped out. She was incredibly grateful that the
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: community helped find her. The conversation then expanded because other
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: residents shared that this wasn't the first time the toddler
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: had been seen wandering around the estate unattended. My friend
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: publicly commented on that post saying that what I had
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: done was inappropriate and that I needed to respect parents.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: She later messaged me privately saying that as a mother,
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: she would have been Highly ticked off if someone had
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: handled the situation the way I did and that I
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: should have gone directly to the child's mother instead of
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: posting it publicly. Problem was that I couldn't go directly
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: to the child's mother because I had no idea who
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: she was. Finding her was the entire reason I made
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: the post. What surprised me even more was the community's response.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Nobody agreed with my friend. Instead, several people reached out
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: to me privately telling me not to take what she
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: said to heart and that I had absolutely done the
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: right thing. And more than one person asked me, isn't
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: that your friend? The little girl's own mother thanked both
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: me and the community for helping get her home safely.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Other moms even asked if they could introduce me to
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: their children so they would know my house was a
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: safe place to go if they ever needed help while
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: I was working from home. And that is crazy. That
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: is so sweet.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and OP like sends all of that to her
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: friend and goes, apparently single moms think I'm pretty cool.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: I think all the moms like me. I think all
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: the other mothers agree with me. What hurt wasn't that
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: my friend disagreed with me. It was that this had
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: become another example of being told my judgment wasn't valid
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: because I'm not a mother. That I need to learn
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: to respect parents. She knows that my husband and I
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: have been trying to conceive. I'm also a qualified teacher,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: so child safety has always been something I take seriously. Sophia,
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: this friendship should have Sailed a long time ago.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: It's no longer, oh, we just can't work together. It's
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: also like, maybe we shouldn't be friends.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: How many other friends does your friend have?
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: Not many, I don't think.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: I would assume. A little bit left here, Sophia. Let's
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: go ahead and finish this up.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: Oh, boy.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Opie continues saying, Internal instincts are wrong when I have
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: my own child.
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like she definitely would be. Like when you have
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: a kid, she definitely would be like, oh, you're not
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: doing that right.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: You're not doing that right.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: As a mother.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Actually, I'm a mother, I know.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: As a mother.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: You're not doing that right.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: My judgment is better than yours.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't want to be around that.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: As a mother, my boundaries are better than yours. As
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: a mother, I'm just better than you.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she thinks that.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: But you don't have that in your life anymore, Opie. Congrats.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, good riddance.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: That is the end of that story. Hey, it's Keon,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: your host with the cakes here. We're going to get
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: from our sponsors.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I forgot my girlfriend's birthday, so I paid to look
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: it up.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Hey, that's just a real thoughtful boyfriend move.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: My girlfriend and I have been together a year and
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: some change. Live together. She uses a flip phone for
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: reasons that are too long to get into. She uses
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: a flip phone for reasons that are too long to
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: get into. So she will occasionally use my phone when
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: she needs to check her email or download music.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Get into that. Get into that.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Why is she using a flip phone?
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: Back to my dumb butt. I'm not gonna lie to y'all.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: I trashed my brain as a teenager. I have issues
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: with memory, short and long. But today I woke up
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: and was chilling for a bit while my girl was
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: at work. Suddenly I thought, oh crap, what's my girlfriend's birthday?
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: I knew what month it was in, but I couldn't
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: remember if it was the 8th or 9th. That's okay,
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: I thought. I'll go dig around a bit. Surely there's
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: some paperwork around the house that has her birthday on it.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: Spoiler, there wasn't.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know, man. Her ID? Yeah.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Her birth certificate that no one has in their house.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: Or just, like, look at your pictures.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Steal your girlfriend's wallet.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: My go-to is search up pictures from, like, if you've
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: taken pictures of her on her birthday, because it's time documented.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from ranpastit, and if you
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the rs.showcase
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers, so if you've got answers,
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: put them in the comments right now. And OP continues.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: I'm definitely not asking her friends or family, as they'll
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: surely tell her I forgot. So I do what any
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: reasonable guy does, and I Google background check services, enter
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: her name and city, and for $ 8, I receive an
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: email with every traffic ticket, address, and phone number she's
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: ever had.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: What are we talking?
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: This is ridiculous.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's $ 8.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: But what is he going to uncover?
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Her birthday.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: Most importantly, though, her birthday. I write her birthday down
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: in a safe spot and then go back to chilling.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: All is well. I'm not a piece of crap boyfriend.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: What a relief. She gets home. Our day has gone
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: well when she asked to use my phone to read
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: her email. I completely obliviously give it to her. She
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: opens it and immediately sees a full background check on herself.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: Now you have to admit that you did a background
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: check and you forgot her birthday.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: Which I mean, like, That's kind of so funny to
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: me that I wouldn't even care at that point. Yeah.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, I might care a little. It would depend.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: But I think that would soften the blow.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: You're like, that's pretty funny. I knew exactly what happened
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: once her face changed. She immediately asked why I was
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: background checking her a year into our relationship and then
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: started getting emotional asking if I didn't trust her.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: What are you going to do now? What are you
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: going to do now?
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: You have to go, babe, no. I forgot your birthday.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Is that even worse? Is that worse?
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: It makes it better.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. I
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: am a forgetful man. I just needed to know if
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: it was the 8th.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: Or the 9th.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to ask you because I didn't want
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: to upset you, and now I've upset you even more.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: This is the only way I could find out.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: This is the first relationship I've ever not had trust
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: issues in, so I immediately confess that I'm a dumb butt,
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: I forgot her birthday, and I paid $ 8 to get
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: it because her sister and friends would snitch on me.
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: LOL.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: Luckily, this isn't the first time I've come off as
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: a total fool to her, so she believed me. But
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: she is indeed also a bit upset I forgot her birthday.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: Next time something like this happens, I'm just admitting guilt,
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: I think. I'm also sitting here and just realizing I
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: could have waited until she was asleep and checked her license.
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: Yep.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's... Well, you have brain problems, it seems.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: So, it's okay. I mean, I feel like that's technically
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: a bigger invasion of privacy.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: Looking at someone's license?
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because, you know, if you go into someone's wallet,
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: you can't get that on the internet. But you can
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: get anyone's birthday for eight bucks, apparently. Apparently. Apparently.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: go on to the next one.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend saw one name in my call log and
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: made me leave at 4 a.m. Can't I leave when
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: the sun's up? My boyfriend, 26 male, and I, 22 female,
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: keep having the same argument. And I'm starting to wonder
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: if I'm really the problem. Recently, my friend from the
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: military called to let me know he landed safely in
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Japan after leaving Iran. My boyfriend saw his contact picture
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: in my call log and completely flipped out. He said,
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: he doesn't have another witch he can call?
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: You call me what? You said what about me?
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: The Wicked Witch of the West.
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: That's like... And also, by the way, witch is our
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: replacement word for the B word for anyone new here.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: I just don't... Goodbye.
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: If someone I, you know, like says that to me
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: and they're not like a girl, I hate you.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: Genuinely, if a man ever calls me a B word
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: and they're not like it's not like a joking, like,
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: you know, if it's not that I'm like, you're on
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: my crap list forever.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: Same.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: Like, and now I hate you.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Good job. Good job.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: Started yelling at me, told me to get out of
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: his apartment at 4 a.m. and said I was being
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: disrespectful because I was on FaceTime with him while he
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: was working. This isn't the first time something like this
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: has happened. It feels like every argument ends with me
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: being blamed or kicked out, even when I don't think
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: I've done anything wrong. Sometimes I feel like he tries
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: to isolate me. If I make plans with my girlfriends,
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: he's in an uproar and my whole night gets ruined.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: He calls them names even though he's never met them.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from BeautifulTune8140, and if you
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: I'm Skion.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily. But we
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: And OP side. For context, my military friend and I
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: have been friends for several years. There has never been
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: anything romantic between us on either side. Before my boyfriend
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: and I started dating, we talked about men and women
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: being friends. He seemed hesitant. Ooh, bad sign. But ultimately
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: said he was okay with it as long as there
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: wasn't any inappropriate behavior. My boyfriend was also in the
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: military as well. We were not on the FaceTime at
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: 4 a.m. That's the time he saw my phone. My
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: friend and I spoke at 7 p.m. Time zones are different.
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: Am I missing something here? Was I actually being disrespectful
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: or are his reactions unreasonable? It's 5.22 a.m. and I'm
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: currently shaking. All of you were right. He calls and
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: I pick up thinking he wants to have an adult conversation.
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: He begins questioning me on the situation again. After I
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: gave my answer, he calls me a liar and other names.
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: I did not want to hear that BS anymore, so
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: I ended the call. He proceeded to call me, send
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: text messages, and voicemails on how he hopes he's with
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: another woman right now, and he's going to trash some
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: belongings I left and place them on my doorstep.
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: Wow, this sounds like a really cool man that I
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: would want to be with.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Wait, he holds.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: He sounds so mature and so kind and loving. This
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: is so weird. After seeing everything laid out, I'm running
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: and never looking back. It blows my mind how a
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: person can be so good to you in the beginning
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: and you fear at the end. I mean, yes, but
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: also that is a lot of relationships. People don't reveal
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: who they are within, you know... Typically, they say, like,
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: after the first three months, you get.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: First three months, that's the, what, the honeymoon phase?
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: The puppy phase?
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but then it's like, again, I always say this,
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: three months, and then I would say, like, Six months,
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: a year, two years. You know, those are like the
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: big check marks where you start to reveal more about
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: this person.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: That and then traveling with them, I guess.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: Living together.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: Living together in a sense.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: Going on vacation with someone.
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: You should definitely do that. Children. And then we're basically
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: in the grave. And then you're in the grave by then.
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: And how are you going to deal with that?
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: Thank you for all the comments. I've read them all,
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: and it helped a lot. I will never, ever look back.
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: And you should not. Very nice.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: Nor should you.
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: No.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, anyone out there listening who has a partner who
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: is controlling and is calling your friends' names or is
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: saying that you're, like with the mail thing, is accusing
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: you of things that you obviously have not done. Yeah.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: Keep an eye out for those things.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: And it's OK to leave your partner even after like,
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: you know, five, 10, 20 years.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: It's OK to leave your partner whenever if you are
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: not happy with that. As long as you communicate that
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: and say, hey, this is not working.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: This is no longer serving me.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: And we just grew in different directions. We didn't grow together.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: We grew separate.
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: We grew apart. Sometimes it happens. As they say.
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: And it sucks, but then like, then you'll feel so
• 43:17
  Speaker 4: much more free.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: It's like, oh my God, I can't believe I stayed
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: in that for, you know, whatever.
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: But it also is at your own time.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: So do what you need to do. Relationships are not easy,
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: but they shouldn't feel so hard. Yeah.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: And they shouldn't be like a constant walking on eggshells, arguing,
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: being like, oh, I'm on his good side.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Everything's all right now.
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: Like, no, you should be okay even on his bad side.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: go on to the next one.
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: My girlfriend moved into job hunt and stopped.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: After two weeks.
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: This is really hard. I, 25 male, have been dating
• 43:51
  Speaker 4: my girlfriend, Jen, 24 female, for nine months. Five months ago,
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: Jen lost her job when her company went under, and
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: around the same time, she had a falling out with
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: her roommate. She was in urgent need of housing, but
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: in an awkward position with employment status, so she reluctantly
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: asked if she could move into my house. I agreed
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: because she had already spent the night several times and
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: she moved in under the condition that she would begin
• 44:14
  Speaker 4: looking for work to contribute. Now, back on our second date,
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: when I asked Jen if she wanted to be exclusive,
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: she responded by asking me what I would bring to
• 44:23
  Speaker 4: a relationship with her.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: Okay. Oh.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: That is such a weird answer.
• 44:28
  Speaker 4: I don't know if that's supposed to be like playful
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: or like serious.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: What are you going to offer me? Yeah, like because
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: I can see it being like, well, am I going
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: to get out of it? Yeah, I don't know. Like
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: kind of playful. I can also be like, well, what
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: do you have to offer?
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: What do you bring to the table? What are your
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: qualifications for this relationship?
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: I answered as pragmatically as possible. A stable income, loyalty, companionship,
• 44:51
  Speaker 4: willingness to compromise. and consistent attention to my appearance slash hygiene.
• 44:55
  Speaker 4: I didn't really care much for the question at the time,
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: and so while she seemed mildly satisfied with what I said,
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: I didn't ask her in return.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: I feel like I've held up my end of the bargain.
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: But after moving in, Jen only really looked for work
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: for about two weeks. She now spends the majority of
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: her waking hours on Instagram, TikTok, and Netflix. I've raised
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: the issue with her indirectly before by asking how her
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: job search was going, and she said nobody was hiring,
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: which I find hard to believe. By the way, this
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: comes from EveningCampaign970, and if you want to submit your
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah.
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: And we're here.
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: To talk about some stuff, get some advice, but we
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: don't have all your answers.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: We're only going to tell you what we would do,
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: but let us know what you would do down in
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: the comments.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Please do.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: As Opie says.
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: Well, yesterday in the evening, I finally hit my limit.
• 45:47
  Speaker 4: Jen drank a bottle of wine that I was saving
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: for a romantic evening date and spent the rest of
• 45:52
  Speaker 4: her day screwing around on her phone. After work, I
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: sat her down and asked what she thought she brought
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: to the relationship. Jen stared at me for a few
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: seconds as if I had asked the dumbest question in
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: the history of mankind. Then she erupted frantically, pointing at herself.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: Me? I'm the prize!
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: From my perspective, this was coming from a woman who
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: had just gotten day-wasted off wine, watched Netflix, and ate
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: all my food. I honestly couldn't contain myself, and I
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: burst into laughter. Every time I looked back at her,
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: she would give me this incredulous look while shrugging, which.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: Only made me laugh harder.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: It's like....
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: Is that incredulous? Is that what that means?
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: It's like.
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: Holes. It's just like.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: That's what she's doing.
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: Jen got really angry at me and let out this
• 46:43
  Speaker 4: wailing shriek sort of sound. She stormed off to another
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: room where I'm 100% sure she just screwed around on
• 46:51
  Speaker 4: her phone more. I haven't talked to her since. I
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: feel like I might have gone too far here.
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: Was I the a-hole?
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: No. No.
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: For asking her the same question.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: She asked you? She asked you that question.
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: On a second date?
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: And she's living in your house.
• 47:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and she's living in your house.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: She's done.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: She's gone. Let's get rid of her.
• 47:09
  Speaker 4: It's like, listen, I'll give you like max a month
• 47:13
  Speaker 4: to find a job.
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: Max.
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah but like if you're doing nothing and can't find
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: a job in a month i mean come on out
• 47:20
  Speaker 4: the door like just anything at this point and the
• 47:23
  Speaker 4: thing is guys you dig holes it doesn't have to
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: be the job that you like need to be your
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: permanent job it could just be a time a job
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: for the time being good point and then later on
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: now while you are making a living whatever you can
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: gain connections you can meet people who meet that guy
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: who meet this girl who need and Then the world
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: turns around.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: But I'm not now.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: And, yeah.
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: That's the end of the story.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite rat brain host here. And
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: we're going to get back to the stories soon. But
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I waited
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: years to come home to this guy. And he was
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: already engaged.
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: Well, you should just walk right out.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Okay. So I, 22 female, grew up idolizing this boy,
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: 22 male, and crushing on him wholeheartedly.
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: Never idolize a man. Unless it's Jesus.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: A man.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: Or Morgan Freeman.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: A face. A marriage. He's already, because he's married. Anyway.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: An engagement.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: A horse. Ding. Finally, around senior year, we switched from
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: friends to boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we both knew
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: that I was going to leave in the fall for
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: college and would be hundreds and hundreds of miles away.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: So both of us agreed that while we were together,
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: we would keep it light and never really got past
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: second base. It was kind of mutual, but really, I
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: would have been more than willing, and on several occasions,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: I thought about going further. Fast forward to me leaving
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: and getting to college. Within a month of me being here,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: it just felt pointless to keep up the long-distance relationship.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: The best we could do was text and talk on
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: the phone, because at first, he still had dial-up internet.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: I know, idiotic, right, but where he lived just outside
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: of town, that's all they had. About six months later,
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: he got Comcast, so then he could use Skype.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: This is an old story.
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, is it even legal to have dial-up anymore?
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: Do they arrest you?
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: This is me for life.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: I think they come get you.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: This is me for a while.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: They'll come pick you up.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: They'll come get you. They'll make the 5G. They'll put
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: the 5Gs in your cereal.
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: One time I tried to make a Skype call. I
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: never came home.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Just kept making a bunch of noises. It scared me. Anyway,
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: I told him that because of our distance and all that,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: he should really just go ahead and date around and
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: have fun. And that when I came home for summer
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: and all that, we could hang out. And when I
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: graduated and came back home, we could be together again
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: as a couple. He wasn't very happy about this, but
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: ultimately he decided that this was best for both of us.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: And by the way, this comes from SaltyGirl23. If you
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: And we're reading this story and giving our thoughts, and
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: we're a bunch of goofballs, and we don't know everything,
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: but let us know what you think in the comments.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: OP says, So I live the college life. I lose
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: my V-chip. about a month after he and I amicably
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: break up to a one-night stand, and from there I
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: just proceed to have a few friends with benefits and
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: a couple of flings over a four-year period of time.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: But I do all of this without getting emotionally attached
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: to anyone on purpose. In fact... I turned down dates
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: from guys who wanted more than just a physical relationship because,
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: in my mind, when I was out of college, I
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: was going home to him, and we were going to
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: pick up where we left off. You're dumb.
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Opie. You're dumb.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: Have you guys been talking at all about this?
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, have you been, like, telling him this is the plan?
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: You're dumb. If this was just a pact you guys made.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a pact.
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: If I'm 30 and you're 34.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: We'll get married I did this in a way not
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: so that I did this with one of my first
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: like my first serious girlfriend and it was just like
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: we had met and I was like oh I'm leaving
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: but I'm coming back in a couple months and I
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: was like we didn't even like communicate at all and
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: I just thought yeah well but we're dating we'll be
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: dating when I come back we're doing that's how it
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: is and the whole time she was like well I
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: guess that was crazy I don't know I guess I'll
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: never see that guy again And I've just had a
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: thought in my mind. You did that for four years.
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: I did it for two months.
• 51:20
  Speaker 4: Four years?
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: You did it for four years. That's crazy. That's insane.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine her reasoning when people are like, hey,
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: I like you. I want to go on dates with you.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: I want to date you. And she goes, I already
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: got someone back home. I got someone at the end
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: of the year.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I don't even think she said it. She's not saying that.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: She's just going, no, I'm not interested.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: This is like her little secret nugget she keeps in
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: her heart.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy that you go, why won't you date me?
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: We sleep together.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: What's going on? My guy's waiting for me.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: I got a guy back home.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, OP does continue immediately. He and I talked constantly
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: on Skype once he figured out how to use it.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: Once or twice a week minimum. On summer breaks and holidays,
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: at home, we would go out and do things all
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: the time. I thought we were the best of friends
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: during this period. Yeah, you were.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: You were best buds.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: You're best friends.
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: You nailed it, OP.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: I asked him often if he was dating and having fun,
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: and at first he wasn't doing anything, but the last
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: couple of years he had been saying that he had
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: some dates. I don't press him very often, although I
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: have asked to see photos of the girls he's dating,
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: and he's just always kind of laughed it off. I
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: told him very early on freshman year that I had
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: lost my V-card, or V-chip if you're a Gen Z,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I guess, and when I told him, he didn't bat
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: an eye. So I just assumed, I guess stupidly, that
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: he didn't care, as long as the plan was to
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: come home to him at the end of this. So
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: about a month ago, when I'm starting to make plans
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: to come home... I start hinting about the plans to
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: get together now that I'll be graduating. In fact, I
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: told him that I had an apartment lined up and
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: that once I got back, he was welcome to stay
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: with me. His response should have been my first clue,
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: but being a silly little goose, it didn't strike me
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: until yesterday. He asked why he would give up his
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: house for an apartment. I just thought, oh, okay, so
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: you've got a house now, and I didn't know. I
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: asked him how long he had the house, and he
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: said that he closed on it in February. I should
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: have picked up on the fact that he did not
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: ask me to stay with him, but I am not
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: that smart. So I've packed up everything, and my brother
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: and his wife are going to drive back with me
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: this weekend after graduation. I get on Skype with him
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: this evening, and the conversation's pretty standard. But I'm honestly
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: excited because, for one, I'm done with this crap. I
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: love college life, but dang, I hate college. And two,
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: I am going to ask him how we are going
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: to move forward with the plan. Hope he says, I
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: will spare you the back and forth and just get
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: to the bombshell. I just ask how he sees our
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: life together now that I'm going to be home. The
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: surprised look on his face was my first real indication
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: that this was about to blow up on me. He
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: says he doesn't see any reason why we can't be
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: friends just because we live in the same town. I
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: then remind him of the plan and that I have
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: been waiting for this day for four years.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: Dude, OP.
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: This is like watching for like, I don't know, a year.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: Watching for four years as a nuclear bomb approaches the country.
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: And you're like, oh, no. What am I going to do?
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: Somebody should say something.
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: Someone should stop that.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: Someone should say something. Someone should fix that.
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: As OP's the one who dropped the bomb.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: Yikes.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: I go, OP, you stuck to that plan for four years.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: Guess what? The plans change.
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: They always do.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: Like, you didn't.
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: Check in with him?
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: I'm just reminding him of the plan. You didn't remind him.
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: Every month?
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe at least once a year, right? Yeah. End of
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: year checkup. How's the plan looking?
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: Hey, you still interested in me? Not dating anyone seriously?
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: I certainly not.
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: Opie says he might as well have reached through the
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: computer and pulled out my heart with what came next.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: He said that he thought we were just friends and
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: that we had both moved on from a romantic relationship
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: years ago. Then to add insult to injury, he tells
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: me that he's been dating a girl for over two
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: years now and that they intended on getting married. Zing! Wow.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: I mean, could this guy have said, hey, I'm seeing
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: this person seriously. Why are you talking to me twice
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: a week kind of thing? Or at least more than that.
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: To be honest, should he have said, hey, I'm seeing
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: a girl seriously?
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: Should OP have thought any of this?
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: No. Like now I'm starting to think he did know
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: the plan the whole time because why wouldn't he tell you?
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird that he didn't tell you.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you know he has a girlfriend of two years?
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: Who he plans on marrying.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: So he just never wanted to tell you. I need
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: the context of how they broke up. Was it just like, yeah,
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: after four years, we can get married.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: That was it. And then we'll be together. That was it.
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the joke that you make with your friends
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: that you're like, yeah, when we turn 30, we're just
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: both single and miserable. That's what I said earlier. Yeah, exactly.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but when you're in love at 18, it's like
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: you really think that that's probably going to work out.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: But this is crazy.
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And who's to say it couldn't have, but that's...
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: No communication. Yeah, just let that one simmer a little
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: too long. So I lose my mind and start bawling.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: I then start to berate him for leading me on
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: and telling him how I never allowed myself to feel
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: anything for anyone. I called him an a-hole, and for
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: whatever reason, me calling him an a-hole set him off.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: He then rips into me about being the one who
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: broke up with him. I reminded him he agreed to separate,
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: but he then said I never gave him a choice.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: He said at first he was hurt beyond words that
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: I had slept with someone else, but by the time
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: I had told him more about my life, he went
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: from being hurt to being disgusted. I asked him why
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: he never said anything to me about it. He said
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: that He didn't feel it was any of his business
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: and that he felt I was kind of cruel to
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: tell him things over the years and that he never
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: once told me anything, which is true even when I
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: tried to drag it out of him. He then tells
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: me that he will always have a special place in
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: his heart for me, but that it is as a
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: friend and that he could never see himself with someone
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: like me, which someone like me, what? I call him
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: on his BS here asking him what that means. Basically,
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: he called me a witch without calling me a witch.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: I guess he was not okay with me having meaningless, casual,
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: spicy times, and I just told him to go F himself.
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: Then I hope he and his stupid girlfriend, who I
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: have since learned is a secretary, have a wonderful F-ing
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: life together, and I slam my laptop down. I am
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: feeling pissed, humiliated, foolish, hurt, and about a million other
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: emotions tonight. This weekend was supposed to be nothing but
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: one big party, but all I've been able to do
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: all night long is lay in my bed and cry.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: And to make matters worse, it's just a dang mattress
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: as all of my other stuff is packed in my
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: car and my brother's car. My brother and his wife
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: have taken turns holding me as I cry to them.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: F-ing a-hole. God dang, I so badly hate the fact
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: that I didn't go out on dates with people who
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: actually liked me while this guy was at home apparently
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: living in domestic bliss.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: Shut up!
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, y'all did it to y'all selves. And I think
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: you probably did it more than he did.
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: You cannot blame him 100% for the fact that you
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: were dumb.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: What were your conversations about? Literally, when you're talking at
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: least twice a week to this guy, saying, I'm sleeping
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: with this guy. I'm going doing this stuff. How is
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: your life? And he goes, it's life.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: I don't really want to talk about it.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: I don't really want to talk about that stuff. Yeah. What?
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, clearly the, I don't know. Yeah. Edit for clarification. Yes,
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: I initiated the breakup. I just knew that I didn't
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: want either of us to miss out on enjoying our
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: youth while trying to keep with one another and would
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: only be together physically very few times over the next
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: four years. In other words, I was just going for
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: an open relationship. And I even called it that when
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: we were talking. This was not just for me. I
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: wanted him to see and meet people as well. And
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: that's what he did. funny enough. This is why I
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: kept asking him about all of his dates, hoping that
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: he would share them with me so we could keep
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: them as light as possible. He wasn't supposed to fall
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: in love with anyone else. Just date and have fun. No,
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: this was not all in my head. When we broke up,
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: we went over this. Now, to be fair, he never
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: told me who he was dating at all, so I
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: guess that is my fault for just assuming it was
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: multiple girls and not just one. Also, someone asked me
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: if he cheated on her with me, and that's totally
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: effed up for me to think of it in that context,
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: because I considered him mine to begin with, but I
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: guess that would depend on your context. I sure as
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: heck thought of them as dates, so yes, he is
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: a cheating crab bag as well. Now, he never physically
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: cheated on her, I guess, because we have never done
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: the deed. I just thought he was waiting and that
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: this was special to him.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: You thought he was waiting four years?
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: Say that sentence one more time.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: The way that you just said that, it makes it
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: sound like if y'all didn't sleep together, it's not cheating.
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: Because we didn't do the deed. Did you hold hands?
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: Did you kiss?
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm wondering. But OP says, okay, well, I
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: think he cheated. He's a cheating scumbag. So I think
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: OP is actually on the thing of like, oh, no,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: he did cheat. But like we didn't actually hook up.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: So I don't actually think that they did anything romantic.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: And I think OP is delusional. Entirely.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: Again, the words from OP in that sentence is I thought.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: I thought.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she said, I thought they were dates. So he
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: was cheating. Yeah. Because my perspective is the only one.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: I thought we were going to get married. So actually
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: he asked to divorce his soon to be wife.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: This is so funny.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: This is insane.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: We're getting the POV from the villain. Uh-huh.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: For real. I'm still pissed today, but not nearly as
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: much as I am hurt. I can't believe this has happened.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: Thanks for those of you who have called me a
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: horrible person. That was really helpful. And there is an
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: update 10 days later. Okay, after the thorough trashing I
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: took in my first thread, I thought I would update
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: you for your entertainment if nothing else. I've got nothing
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: else in my life at the moment. So, I'm all
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: moved into my new apartment, I got the new job,
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: and still haven't been able to reconnect with old friends
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: because most have moved on or have yet to return
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: home for the summer. It's a holiday weekend and I
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: have plans with my family. My brother and sister-in-law have
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: been absolute rocks for me and have spent a lot
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: of free time trying to keep my spirits up. Friday night,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: we decided to go to the movies for the late show,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: but figured we would catch dinner first. You may already
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: have guessed who was sitting in the restaurant. We were
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: already sitting before I spot them, and they had already
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: spotted us. Curious as to what she looks like. I've
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: never seen her before this, but I don't want to
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: be too obvious and look at her. So, I try
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: and get my brother to do it, but he refuses.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: Don't have your brother do it.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: Also, what does that help you?
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 5: Is he going to, like, crime sketch artist-y, like, Yeah,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 5: he's like, all right, so she had a thin nose
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 5: and blonde hair and small almond-shaped eyes.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: Nope, he's like.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: Anyway, it did not matter because they were getting ready
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: to leave, so on their way by, he drops by
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: to say hello to me as his girlfriend has gone
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: to the bathroom. Awkwardness ensues as we try to have
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: a BS conversation like nothing has changed. Then I see
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: her walking up behind him and she puts her hand
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: on his shoulder, which just makes me burn. But I
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: don't say or act any differently. He starts to introduce
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: her when she blurts out my sister-in-law's name. And then
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: they both embrace. And I'm sitting there saying to myself,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: what the F is going on here?
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: They know each other.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: Turns out the new girlfriend is my sister-in-law's cousin. Oh,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: my God. That's a rough one.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: And your sister-in-law didn't know? So the sister-in-law that's been
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: helping you emotionally didn't know?
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: Wow, this town is really, really small.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: Some people got a lot of cousins, man. I don't
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: know what's going on with all my cousins. That's true.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: As if things couldn't get worse, I choke out a
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: nice to meet you when she's introduced to me. And yes,
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: I could tell she was being fake nice and playing
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: off that she obviously knew about me because she kept
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: touching him. They left and I excused myself to go
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: to the bathroom. where I proceeded to cry for about
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: five minutes. My sister-in-law came in and was very apologetic,
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: saying she had no idea and that she was sorry.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: I told her it wasn't her fault, but it was
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: pretty obvious I was in no shape to go to
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: the movies. I told them to go without me and
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: that I was going home. They only agreed to go
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: if they could stop over after the movie to check
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: up on me. The next day... I had enough. I
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: don't care what people think. I know good and well
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: we agreed to this together. And if my life was
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: going to be bad, then I want to know the
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: real reason this happened. So, Saturday I went to his
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: house and confronted him. She was not there, thankfully. But
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: even if she was, I was still going to do it.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: I started off super pissed, but by the time he
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: answered the door, I was just really more of an
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: emotional wreck. He didn't want me to come in, so
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: we used his enclosed porch to talk. I just flat
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: out asked him the wins and the whys and the
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: what point in time he decided that I wasn't good
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: enough for him and why he never told me he
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: had a long-term girlfriend. His answers were pretty vague, and
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: I just did not want to lose him. And out
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: of everything I've done, this is the thing I am
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: the most embarrassed by. I started crying and begging him. Man,
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: I really hate myself for doing that. I truly do.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, I made an absolute fool of myself. He
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: was nice about the whole thing, but never once wavered
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: off of his commitment to her. I just apologized as
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: best as I could. I guess I needed to hear
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: this next part from him, but it hurts worse than
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: anything I've ever experienced. I just went ahead and asked
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: him if me being with the other guys was the problem.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: I read what you all said, and while I didn't
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: think it was true, I felt I needed to hear
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: it from him. So, basically, I threw away the man
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: of my dreams for a string of one-night stands and
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: a couple of friends with benefits, none of which meant
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: anything to me, nor will they for the rest of
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: my life. Now, the, uh... Oh, my gosh. You suck.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: You're a bad person. You're not good.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: You're a bad person.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: Now, the Queen of Virginia gets the man who I
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: have honestly loved for four years, and it is now
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: truly over for me.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: You are a bad person.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: Did you think he was like, this was it? This
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: was like your plan B, plan C of like, if
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: this happens, if I confront him, it'll change.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: Sadly for me, he really does love her and is
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: devoted to her, which makes me hate her that much more.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: But the truth is, I hate myself even more because
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: I'm the one who threw this away.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: Okay, you got it. You got there.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, pity party. Let me throw some cold water on you.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: Even if you guys did get together, there's no guarantee
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: that it's going to work out after four years.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 3: Or even if you hadn't hooked up with anyone, he
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: probably still would have met this girl and fell in
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: love because you were gone for four years.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: And it's on both of you. It's on him for
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: not saying that when it happened.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not saying, I have a girlfriend that I want
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: to marry. Sorry.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: And it's on you for, I guess, literally never actually
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: checking in on what you saw as the plan for
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: the rest of your life with this guy. You never
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: really asked anything about it for four years.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: I desperately need to know what she thinks... those dates
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: were like what she thinks happens on the day on
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 3: or happened on those dates.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: Okay. There's an edit. Yes. Several times over the years,
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: we talked about our plans together after college. No, not
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: once did he ever tell me that our plans were
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: no longer our plans as a couple. I made it
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: home for all of the summers and most of the holidays,
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: but there were some holidays that we did not meet
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: up because our schedules didn't match, as he left town
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: to go to his family's holidays. Yes, I now freely
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: admit to being a silly little goose. In retrospect, we
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: never really specifically said, hey, do you remember the whole
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: plan about getting back together, right? So, and that's the
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: end of that, right? You're not going to try to justify.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: I like that she started the sentence by saying, yes,
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 3: we talked about our plans after college many times. No,
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: we never said we were going to have a relationship.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: He told me about the job that he was going
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 3: to be working.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: Right. Right.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 3: He told me that he was planning to move into
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 3: a house. Well, he didn't tell you that actually either.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, we can't use. But there were tons and I
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: mean tons of I can't wait to get home to
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: be with you statements.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 4: When?
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: Did those stop?
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: But like, that doesn't mean anything.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, one, that doesn't mean anything. But also, when did
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: that stop? Because was he saying like, oh, I can't
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: wait to... Was he saying, can't wait to be with
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: you or can't wait to see you? Two different things.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: Well, let's just keep going. Not even two months ago,
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: I was telling him about my job offer at a
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: local company and said how happy that made me so
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: I could be with him. I even said, start our
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: life together. And he never said a word contrary to it.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: If you.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: explicitly said, can't wait to move back and be with
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: you and start our life together. And he said nothing.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, we already said he was the a-hole, but
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: that's pretty a-hole. I still am going to charge you
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: for crimes of silly goose, but he's up there too.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: He's on trial too.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: It's like, again, you broke up with this guy and-
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: You know, it's you're 18. And I remember when I
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: was younger and it's like a breakup happens and it's like, yeah,
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: but maybe like maybe we'll get back together, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: And it's just like a thing you say sometimes. It's
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: not like a and now I'm building my five year
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: plan based on this idea. I gotta put more blame
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: on you, OP. I don't care if he wasn't exactly clear.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: It should have been, it should have been clear. He
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: is now claiming that every time I said something like
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: this to him, he thought I meant it as a friend.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: So while in my mind, it's out of the question
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: that he could not have known what I was talking about,
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: he does not see it that way. While right now
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: I'm very hurt and have hard feelings towards him, I
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: will not call him a liar because he has never
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: lied that I know of. Now, why he never once
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: told me he had a long-term relationship is beyond me.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: That would have been a nice piece of information to
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: have two years ago when they started being an item.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: And there is a final comment from OP. There's a quote.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: OP's quoting another commenter. Hopefully you'll be able to be
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: friends with him as he actually sounds pretty respectful and nice.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: especially to someone who hurt him unintentionally. I would like
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: to try that someday, but honestly, right now, I just can't.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: Not his fault at all, and you are correct. He
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: has been nothing but respectful and nice about all of this,
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: but I have to have some distance for a little bit,
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: because if I see him, I know no matter how
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: hard I try, I'm going to start crying and making
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: a fool of myself again. I don't know what's worse,
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: the fact that knowing I won't ever be with him,
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: or the fact that in my clueless state I did
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: hurt him. I sometimes feel like I'm watching a movie
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: of my life instead of living it, and right now
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: it's a combination horror and tragic comedy. I guess I'm
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: going through a lot of stages of grieving here, as
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: my first was anger, but now I'm down to sadness
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: and guilt. Well, it's all part of the process.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: You cannot be friends with this guy until you stop
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 3: seeing his girlfriend, soon to be fiancée. As the enemy.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: Well, I read some comments about this post too. One
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: of the top comments from the original post was, well,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: if they do get married, you'll be somewhat family.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: True, cousin.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 3: Cousin's cousin. Sister-in-law's cousin.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: You'll be in there somehow.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: And a couple other comments is, on this post here
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: is what is the, what in the emotional unintelligence in
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: this post?
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: Accurate.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man. I think it's very possible that, uh,
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: you know, that what that happened was you'd be like, well,
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: we can do this and then we can get that
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: together after four years. And his response wasn't, yeah, let's
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: do that. It was like, I mean, I mean, okay,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: I guess. And you went and that's it. It's done.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: Never talking about it. explicitly again. Just gonna tell him
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: how much I like him.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: Maybe when she was talking to him, she was like, oh,
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 3: I can't wait for our lives to start, you know,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 3: after we graduate college. He's like, yeah, no, me too.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 3: I just don't believe her. But that's the end of
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: that one.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: We had summers together, dude. Yeah. If you guys really
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: felt that way, y'all would have been hooking up in
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: the summer.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story.