Latest / He's Hot but Something's Off... / HHBSO 145: I Give You Permission to Feel Angry

Transcript

HHBSO 145: I Give You Permission to Feel Angry · He's Hot but Something's Off...

• 0:09
  Hello and welcome to He's hot, but something's off Different
• 0:16
  intro. It's like I don't think I've
• 0:18
  ever done different intro music for this podcast.
• 0:22
  For the uncut episodes, which are patron exclusives, all my
• 0:26
  page subscribers, they get a extra podcast episode caught and
• 0:31
  cut every weekend for a little while.
• 0:34
  I did do intro music just from whatever music I was happening
• 0:40
  to be listening to at the time, but this song is just happens to
• 0:45
  be a song I'm currently listening to at the moment.
• 0:50
  Hold on, how do I, oh, it's on Bluetooth.
• 0:52
  I need to like turn the Bluetooth off.
• 0:54
  Hold on. OK there we go.
• 0:56
  I don't know, I've got this very fancy recorder thing and it has
• 0:59
  bootha. It's like oh I can just do it on
• 1:01
  Bluetooth. Anyways I am tech literate I
• 1:03
  swear. But this song is from one member
• 1:08
  of my favorite K pop girl group called Twice.
• 1:12
  Her name is Nyon and they did this album to celebrate their
• 1:18
  10th anniversary. The album is called 10 and it's
• 1:21
  basically 9 songs on that album and each of the nine members did
• 1:27
  a solo like each 9 member. Each of the members had their
• 1:30
  own song and I honest one of the members and that's her song.
• 1:33
  It's called me. I just like the I like the
• 1:37
  lyrics that are on it. It's I don't know if you guys
• 1:40
  ever hear the lyrics but don't cook, but I got good taste.
• 1:44
  Don't drive, but I love the chase soft touch when I use my
• 1:47
  teeth. Don't play with a girl like me.
• 1:50
  So that that's the first few lines just happened to be
• 1:52
  listening that I saw. Anyways, Welcome to LA podcast.
• 1:57
  I've been on I've been on Sniffies lately.
• 2:01
  Do most of you know what Sniffies is?
• 2:04
  It's it's a grinder alternative. And the thing with Sniffies is
• 2:11
  it's map based. Basically you see a map and you
• 2:14
  see a bunch of little circles, which is someone who's logged
• 2:18
  in, someone who's on Sniffies and you can see where everyone
• 2:22
  is. So that is the thing that
• 2:25
  Stiffies, I don't know if they pioneered the concept, but
• 2:29
  Grinder just used to be and it still is just like a grid.
• 2:32
  But you know, on Grinder, they have in some markets, including
• 2:36
  where I live in Socal in LA, if you go to there, there's like a
• 2:41
  section you can go to and it does the same map thing.
• 2:45
  So you see a map and you see circles of people's profile pics
• 2:49
  on it, which is the same thing as Sniffies.
• 2:51
  Grinder has that now too. But on Sniffies, there are also
• 2:56
  points of interest. Like, you know, in a regular
• 2:58
  maps app, you have points of interest like a park or a gas
• 3:02
  station or like a restaurant or something.
• 3:03
  But in Sniffies it's much more for cruising.
• 3:07
  So a lot of the gyms are on the Sniffies app.
• 3:10
  And sometimes I'm curious when I'm at the gym.
• 3:12
  I don't cruise at the gym. I've said it before, I go to the
• 3:15
  gym, I just go to the workout. I come in in my gym clothes.
• 3:19
  I work out and I leave like I don't, I don't shower, I don't
• 3:23
  sauna, I don't steam room, I don't do anything.
• 3:25
  I just go in there. I work out and I just leave.
• 3:28
  But I sometimes am curious like, oh, who's logged into the POI of
• 3:37
  the gym, like the points of interest, Because for each of
• 3:39
  the points of interest on the map, you can check into it.
• 3:45
  Basically remember Foursquare, It's like that.
• 3:47
  So you can like check into it. You can also say, oh, I'll be at
• 3:49
  the gym in like 30 minutes and then it'll like countdown the
• 3:53
  minutes until you're there. Or you can say that you're here
• 3:55
  now has like a system like that. So you can kind of let people
• 3:59
  know, oh, I'm at the gym. But in addition to being able to
• 4:03
  check in, there's also like a little running comment section
• 4:09
  so you can leave comments about the gym or any of the points of
• 4:13
  interest on the map. And it's like this running
• 4:15
  commentary basically. It's not like a real time chap.
• 4:18
  It's not like people are posting on it like every other minute,
• 4:21
  but you get like a few people post whatever stuff is there.
• 4:24
  I never really looked at it before when I was in the old gym
• 4:27
  and Crunch, but I was like, OK, I'm going to a new gym for
• 4:31
  entertainment purposes. I'm like, oh, let's see who's
• 4:35
  checked in or let's let's see who's around.
• 4:37
  That chat is it's more it's it's good.
• 4:40
  It's actually good entertainment.
• 4:42
  That little comment section for the new gym that I'm at.
• 4:45
  And apparently some people are already being called out, but
• 4:51
  not that you can really call people, but everybody's kind of
• 4:53
  anonymous on Sniffies. But people are being called out
• 4:57
  about the blatantly non discreet cruising.
• 5:00
  That's good. I don't know if this is, is this
• 5:03
  going to be like kosher to put onto YouTube actually?
• 5:06
  Well, I, I won't go into details, but yeah, it's very,
• 5:09
  it's very interesting. Some of the viewpoints that are
• 5:13
  being that are being expressed in that little comment section
• 5:20
  for the new gym that I'm at. I mean, I don't think it was, I
• 5:25
  don't think it's a extremely cruisy gym.
• 5:28
  However, I have not been anywhere near where the the
• 5:33
  sauna the steam room. Apparently the steam room was
• 5:35
  closed for several days. And rumor has it on this little
• 5:39
  comment section on Sniffy's for the gym is that it was closed
• 5:43
  not because there's any mechanical or technical issue
• 5:46
  with the steam room. It was because too many people
• 5:48
  were. Too many gays were getting it on
• 5:50
  in there. Which is the same reason the
• 5:52
  steam room was closed down so many times at the Crunch.
• 5:56
  And at least one person thinks all the people that got the
• 6:00
  Crunch shut down, now they're at this new gym and they're doing
• 6:03
  the same thing. So yeah, I don't know.
• 6:05
  People have such strong feelings about cruising at the gym, but
• 6:10
  there you go. But yeah, I still haven't been
• 6:12
  anywhere near. There's, like, the sauna and the
• 6:15
  steam room and like, the showers.
• 6:16
  Like I don't even know what the layout of that area is because
• 6:20
  you go in and it's like the lockers to the left and then
• 6:24
  there are the sinks and the toilets on your right.
• 6:30
  If you walk past that, there's like this little like entryway
• 6:35
  kind of. And then there is the sauna is
• 6:37
  the first thing that's there. So you can see the sauna from
• 6:41
  when you're just where the lockers are.
• 6:44
  But I don't know what's past it. I have no idea what the layout
• 6:47
  is. I went to the Crunch for I don't
• 6:50
  know what, three years, something like that.
• 6:52
  And I've never even gone remotely near the doors of the
• 6:58
  sauna of the steam room. I didn't even know the steam
• 7:01
  room was taken out of service except for the fact that they
• 7:05
  put up signs at the that at the wash basins where you wash your
• 7:09
  hands and on the mirror there'd be like a sign or, or at the
• 7:11
  entrance to the locker room, there'd be like a sign.
• 7:14
  That's the only reason I knew that the steam even existed.
• 7:18
  So there you go. Yeah.
• 7:19
  But like to look at the strong feelings that people have about
• 7:23
  what two things like the blatant cruising that's going on.
• 7:28
  And I think people are concerned that if that really is
• 7:31
  happening, then like they're going to get stuff shut down,
• 7:34
  which I think is a legitimate concern.
• 7:36
  But the other thing is there's some people that are very even
• 7:40
  if it's not about action in that area, which is like, this is
• 7:47
  just my two cents. If you're going to do that, you
• 7:49
  do have to be like very discreet and you OK, let, let's just
• 7:55
  leave it at that. I don't want to go down a whole
• 7:58
  thing with that. You just have to be like very
• 8:00
  discreet because you know, there, there are people there
• 8:03
  that are just there to use the steam room for the original
• 8:07
  purpose that esteem room is intended for.
• 8:08
  Sometimes gays just take it too far.
• 8:11
  I will say it that I, I, I will say that some gays do take it
• 8:14
  too far. But the other thing was some
• 8:16
  people are having issues with being, I'm not going to use the
• 8:21
  exact term that they use because it's like a, a little
• 8:24
  inflammatory, the terms that they use, not rude, but it's
• 8:28
  like quite a strong word to use. But I think some people like the
• 8:32
  one or two people have issues of like being checked out at the
• 8:36
  gym. You know, if someone is looking
• 8:39
  someone, someone's literally staring at you to the point
• 8:42
  where they're making you uncomfortable.
• 8:44
  Yeah, that's weird. But I don't think, I don't think
• 8:48
  anyone is like, I don't think anyone is doing that at the gym
• 8:53
  to the level of like someone is staring at me too hard.
• 8:57
  It's the gist that I got from it.
• 8:59
  And I don't know, they're probably, probably no one's
• 9:02
  looking at them. It's probably all in their head.
• 9:04
  Anyways. It's very interesting.
• 9:06
  It's very interesting reading that comment section so that
• 9:09
  that was worth a bit of a that was worth some entertainment.
• 9:12
  There are, there are quite a few gays at this gym, not as much as
• 9:16
  at my last gym, but there's a lot more people at this gym and
• 9:19
  it's a much bigger gym. It's a lot busier.
• 9:22
  I am starting to get occasionally annoyed that
• 9:27
  sometimes you go to the gym and it's just a little busier than
• 9:30
  usual. And it is annoying when hop into
• 9:35
  one or three machines for whatever you want to work out
• 9:37
  that day and like everything is full.
• 9:39
  So it is a little that that is a little annoying.
• 9:43
  Anyways, the next thing I want to talk about, I, I got it.
• 9:46
  I'm never going to work on Segways, by the way.
• 9:48
  I'll just talk about whatever I want this in my podcast,
• 9:52
  completely unrelated. They're just no, they're just
• 9:55
  no. There's no way to segue
• 9:57
  smoothly. It takes too much work and
• 10:00
  energy for me to segue things. Just know that anyways, this
• 10:05
  week with this Wednesday, it's always Wednesday, it's almost
• 10:08
  always Wednesday that I record this and it goes up Thursday
• 10:10
  morning on Sunday and Monday. I would say early on in the week
• 10:17
  for some stuff that I'm dealing with, which maybe I'll talk a
• 10:19
  little bit about with my Opas on Patreon because my Opas on
• 10:22
  Patreon know what's going on just like the top tiers.
• 10:25
  But anyways, it was just like frustrating.
• 10:29
  Some stuff I was dealing with nothing like extremely serious.
• 10:34
  No one died. But it was just like
• 10:36
  frustrating. And sometimes when you get
• 10:39
  frustrated, you know, you just want to take a baseball bat to
• 10:42
  something. Sometimes when I get really
• 10:43
  frustrated, I would love to take a baseball bat to something.
• 10:48
  Maybe I should actually buy a baseball bat.
• 10:50
  What? No, because there's nothing I
• 10:51
  can hit at home with a baseball bat that won't get permanently
• 10:54
  damaged and requires money to replace.
• 10:57
  But there are ways to work out your anger, and that can take
• 11:03
  different forms. And you know, I don't like this
• 11:08
  idea that sometimes it feels like I can't be angry.
• 11:18
  Sometimes things will piss you off in life and I think it's OK
• 11:24
  to feel angry or disappointed or upset, but if you are able to
• 11:32
  deal with it in a healthy way, that's fine.
• 11:37
  I really don't like this concept where you have to be glass half
• 11:43
  full all the time. I think we need to allow each
• 11:48
  other to like be upset and angry.
• 11:53
  I think it's fine. I've known, I've had well, I've
• 11:56
  had friends most accurately sing.
• 11:59
  I remember in high school, for example, I had some friends that
• 12:02
  were like, they're Christian and they were like just always glass
• 12:06
  half full. Like for every single thing, you
• 12:09
  know, sometimes we're friends, you'll talk about what's going
• 12:11
  on in your life and sometimes it's like, oh, something bad
• 12:13
  happened or something's not going their way, or you get a
• 12:16
  bad grade on an exam or whatever.
• 12:17
  And sometimes there were a few friends that had that.
• 12:21
  They were just so 100% all the time.
• 12:24
  Just always like optimistic like every single thing that pisses
• 12:29
  the hell out of me. But I think not that we should
• 12:34
  encourage people to be angry all the time, but like sometimes
• 12:37
  shitty things happen and it's OK to be like angry and upset if
• 12:42
  you do it in like a healthy way. If you are, if you are literally
• 12:46
  taking a baseball bat to actual things, especially other
• 12:50
  people's things, that's not healthy.
• 12:52
  But it I think it's fine and we should accept and allow for each
• 12:57
  other to sometimes be angry. Sometimes I get the feeling that
• 13:02
  it's not any one person. It's not any one person.
• 13:06
  I don't know where it comes from to be really honest, that it
• 13:09
  could be just in my head. You know, sometimes it seems
• 13:13
  like if you get angry, people will say, oh, you should be more
• 13:18
  thankful for what you do have. Do you guys ever get that?
• 13:21
  You might be in a place where, you know, you're not in like,
• 13:24
  the best headspace or, you know, you had a speed bump or a
• 13:28
  roadblock, a set back of some way, shape or form.
• 13:31
  And then someone comes and say, like, oh, but think about all
• 13:34
  that you do have this constant reminder from others to always
• 13:42
  like, be on the up and up is so fucking annoying.
• 13:46
  It's so fucking annoying to me. Not that it's like bad, you
• 13:51
  know, I would love to feel happy and optimistic all the time.
• 13:54
  That's how I truly feel. But sometimes when I'm on the
• 14:01
  down or I'm not in like the best mood and then someone comes up
• 14:04
  to me and say in a very well meeting with the best of
• 14:07
  intentions, tries to put me into a more optimistic half class
• 14:11
  full mood, makes it feel like my feelings are invalid because me
• 14:19
  personally and everybody operates a little differently.
• 14:21
  I get it. And I get the intention of like,
• 14:23
  you want to cheer a friend up. I totally get it.
• 14:27
  But I would just love to have my feelings because the way I deal
• 14:31
  with this is that I let myself have my feelings and then later
• 14:35
  with a little time, I'm like over it.
• 14:38
  But I don't like, at least these days, I don't like it when I'm
• 14:43
  feeling some sort of way and then someone says something to
• 14:47
  try to like cheer me up or like, oh, think about what like all
• 14:49
  you do have. And I'd be thankful with this
• 14:50
  and that. It's like it makes it feel like
• 14:52
  I'm not allowed to have my feelings.
• 14:57
  And maybe tangentially, it feels like my feelings aren't being
• 15:01
  invalidated. Do you guys ever feel like that?
• 15:05
  I do. So I give all of you permission
• 15:08
  if you happen to be not having a good day yesterday.
• 15:12
  I wasn't having like the best morning.
• 15:15
  It was a little extra packed at the gym yesterday.
• 15:17
  And sometimes it's a little annoying when you know the gym
• 15:19
  is a little more packed than all the machines you want to use.
• 15:22
  It's not the end of the world, right?
• 15:24
  But I allow myself to feel annoyed and I allow myself to
• 15:31
  have my feelings. I didn't take it out on anyone
• 15:33
  or anything. I didn't lash out anyone.
• 15:35
  I wasn't, you know, the brightest cheers of moods.
• 15:38
  But I dealt with it in my way and I got on with my life and I
• 15:41
  got on with my day. So if someone had came up to me
• 15:45
  and be like, try to make me feel like half glass full type of
• 15:48
  thing, I probably would have punched them square in the face
• 15:51
  because like you need, you need to get on my face.
• 15:54
  So I would love to hear if any of you have experienced that.
• 15:59
  Like sometimes you're not in a great mood, someone tries to
• 16:02
  cheer you up. But like, you know what that is
• 16:04
  really not what you needed to hear is for someone to try to,
• 16:09
  like, cheer you up. And yeah, I would love to see if
• 16:13
  any of you guys share that same viewpoint that, you know, what,
• 16:17
  if you are upset or angry about something, you're allowed to
• 16:20
  have your feelings. We don't need to be model, model
• 16:24
  human beings 100% of the time. Sometimes I feel like with
• 16:29
  social media, for example, you know, it's been talked about
• 16:32
  that you see people on social media and it seems so
• 16:37
  picturesque, seems so idealistic.
• 16:40
  And that's because, you know, online, if it's your profile,
• 16:45
  you get to choose what you show. And we so rarely show the parts
• 16:51
  that are less than squeaky clean.
• 16:54
  I think maybe these days on social media it's more
• 16:57
  acceptable to do that. But from like 4-5, six years
• 17:02
  ago, I think it was more prevalent that people are only
• 17:06
  showing the picture perfect version of themselves and then
• 17:11
  you don't see anything else. I think it's one of the reasons
• 17:13
  that, you know, sometimes going on social media, it's like a
• 17:17
  little depressing because you know your own life, the good,
• 17:21
  the neutral and the bad, you know all of what's going on with
• 17:24
  your own life. Obviously you're the only person
• 17:26
  living your life. You go onto social media and all
• 17:30
  you can see are these people that look like they've got it
• 17:33
  made and it's so picture perfect and nothing's wrong.
• 17:36
  You get this tendency, get this temptation to compare and you're
• 17:42
  like, oh, that person looks like they've, they've got everything.
• 17:44
  They're so beautiful, they look so happy, blah, blah, blah,
• 17:48
  blah, blah. Yeah.
• 17:49
  So I I give all of you permission like that's not,
• 17:51
  that's not real life. I think it is also healthy to
• 17:55
  realize that human beings have emotions.
• 17:58
  People need to have their feelings at times.
• 18:00
  If someone's angry, like all the time, that's a little different,
• 18:07
  OK? But I feel like I just don't
• 18:09
  want to be told how to feel. And I don't like it when people
• 18:17
  try to insert their optimism into how I'm feeling at one
• 18:24
  particular point in time when they.
• 18:28
  Yeah, that for me, it's like I just, I just don't like it.
• 18:31
  Do any of you just always want to be cheered up when you're not
• 18:34
  feeling good or, or is it just me?
• 18:37
  Am am I just like cold blooded and it's just like pure evil
• 18:40
  running through my veins? I don't know, let me know.
• 18:43
  Anyways, that's the that's my thought of the day, my thought
• 18:46
  of the week, a couple of plugs. I should really be plugging
• 18:49
  stuff at the beginning of the fucking episode, shouldn't I?
• 18:52
  Anyways, I just released a brand new YouTube video.
• 18:55
  It's one that I filmed on the Atlantis cruise last month and
• 18:59
  it's basically comparing a straight cruise versus a gay
• 19:04
  cruise and specifically the five reasons why if you are gay, you
• 19:09
  will want to go on to a gay cruise.
• 19:12
  As I'm doing Just Joey Travels, I'm starting to talk to gays
• 19:18
  that have gone on straight cruises, but they've never gone
• 19:22
  on a gay cruise. And sometimes I do get asked
• 19:26
  what? Why would you go on a gay
• 19:28
  cruise? But why does it have to be gay?
• 19:30
  So that video was written and filmed specifically to answer
• 19:36
  people who have that question, people who might have done
• 19:40
  straight cruises, maybe several of them, and they don't know
• 19:43
  anything really about the world of gay cruises.
• 19:46
  They're wondering, well, why would I do a gay cruise?
• 19:48
  How is it different? So that video is up right now.
• 19:52
  And also I mentioned my Patreon. My Patreon is up there.
• 19:55
  The other thing I want to talk about, but I don't think we're
• 19:56
  going to, and I've talked about it before and I'm probably going
• 20:00
  to save it maybe for like next week's episode is I have talked
• 20:04
  about this for us, how we're supporting content creators.
• 20:07
  I very specifically remember talking about this.
• 20:12
  I've got some fresh thoughts. Maybe I'll save it for next
• 20:14
  week, or I'll save it for. Uncut, but my Patreon is there.
• 20:18
  You would want to support this little podcast and support me
• 20:23
  and some of my work. My Patreon is there.
• 20:25
  It is probably linked below. You know the descriptions for
• 20:28
  these things. I just copy and paste the same
• 20:30
  every week. Once in a while if I talk about
• 20:32
  some specific thing in a podcast episode, I'll put in a link for
• 20:35
  that thing. But you should I just copy and
• 20:37
  paste. None of you have seen that
• 20:38
  description for for this podcast.
• 20:41
  You just listen to the podcast or you just watch the YouTube
• 20:43
  video. So there you go, right, that
• 20:46
  will do it for today. Go check out that new YouTube
• 20:49
  video. It's one that it those types of
• 20:53
  videos where I sit in front of the camera and I talk about a
• 20:57
  specific topic. Those tend to be my most popular
• 21:03
  videos over a long period of time.
• 21:05
  The after movies. That kind of is all B roll
• 21:08
  basically of what all the different events on a cruise.
• 21:12
  Those are more hit and miss. But I think people are actually
• 21:14
  more interested in hearing my thoughts and opinions about gay
• 21:20
  cruises and there's a bunch of different topics.
• 21:22
  I did a facts and myths gay cruise facts and myths video
• 21:26
  that I posted recently and that one consistently get like a few
• 21:32
  100 views every single week. Like week in week out, it gets
• 21:36
  views. So this one is kind of done in a
• 21:39
  similar format. It's like a particular topic
• 21:42
  that I'm talking about and addressing and putting my
• 21:45
  opinions and my spin on it as well.
• 21:47
  But it's something that where I sit down from the camera and I'm
• 21:50
  I'm talking about it. And those tend to be people like
• 21:52
  the informational videos over like those are the more reliable
• 21:56
  ones. Those are like the Toyota Camrys
• 21:58
  of my YouTube channel. You know, the after movies are
• 22:00
  like, it's like the the flashy Lamborghini.
• 22:03
  You know, it's there's a novelty factor to it and they're like
• 22:05
  flashy. They take a lot of work to edit,
• 22:08
  by the way, but it's maybe not the maybe it's not the vehicle
• 22:12
  of choice for like steady long term view counts.
• 22:18
  So yeah. So there's another Toyota Camry
• 22:20
  video for you. I don't know where the analogy
• 22:23
  came from. Anyways, until next time.
• 22:24
  Bye y'all.