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SMNTY Classics: Women and Reddit · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.
0:08
Speaker 1: I never told you a production of iHeartRadio.
0:19
Speaker 2: And welcome. I'm up to another classic today. I thought
0:21
Speaker 2: we would bring back the one we did that I mistitled.
0:27
Speaker 1: Sometimes I look back at these and I'm like, oh, no,
0:29
Speaker 1: I was not having a day.
0:30
Speaker 2: I was having a good day when I did that
0:32
Speaker 2: on women and Reddit. I just I just put like
0:34
Speaker 2: a weird and unnecessary Sminty before it. So it's like
0:38
Speaker 2: sminty women and Reddit. Oh just not Yeah again, I
0:42
Speaker 2: don't have spell check. This is another issue I've had
0:44
Speaker 2: in my life for a long time, and I need
0:46
Speaker 2: to fix.
0:48
Speaker 3: Our jab ba tech.
0:51
Speaker 1: I know, I know you. It's okay, thank you. I
0:54
Speaker 1: appreciate that, Samantha.
0:56
Speaker 2: But we've been talking a lot because our social media
0:58
Speaker 2: landscape here in the US and such flux and such
1:01
Speaker 2: turmoil in a lot of instances, and that because of that,
1:07
Speaker 2: Reddit is kind of seeing an up an upswing more
1:10
Speaker 2: people going back to it. I have friends who love Reddit,
1:14
Speaker 2: although I did find out recently one of my best
1:17
Speaker 2: friends uses read it all the time, and she's like
1:20
Speaker 2: really active on the last of us two Subreddit, and
1:23
Speaker 2: she's basically just yells at dudes are being doxic one there,
1:30
Speaker 2: and I have more strength than I do. Yeah, yeah,
1:35
Speaker 2: so you know, there's definitely still issues with it. I
1:38
Speaker 2: saw an interesting headline about how somebody I think the
1:43
Speaker 2: DOJ is assuming Reddit, Facebook, and Twitter because they're saying
1:49
Speaker 2: they radicalized a shooter. So that'll be interesting how that comes,
1:54
Speaker 2: how that plays out. Also, Reddit became public for a
1:57
Speaker 2: first for the first time, which is not something that
2:00
Speaker 2: I am very confident talking about. I know what it is,
2:02
Speaker 2: but like, but people were talking about it because it's interesting.
2:08
Speaker 2: Reddit doesn't really make a lot of money from what
2:12
Speaker 2: I understand, it does have ads, and after we did
2:14
Speaker 2: this episode, people wrote in and told us about the
2:17
Speaker 2: ad structure. Because we weren't sure when we did this episode.
2:22
Speaker 2: I guess there were speculation about why they were doing it,
2:24
Speaker 2: because it's not like they suddenly were making a lot
2:26
Speaker 2: of money. They do make money. But anyway, we were
2:30
Speaker 2: going to come back to this on a larger scale later,
2:33
Speaker 2: but I thought we'd bring this episode back in the meantime,
2:37
Speaker 2: so please enjoy. Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and
2:45
Speaker 2: welcome to Stephan Never told You. A production of iHeartRadio
2:56
Speaker 2: and today. I don't think we really have a content warning,
3:02
Speaker 2: but there is some grossness that happens that we're talking about,
3:05
Speaker 2: and it's Internet grossness that you probably know exists if
3:09
Speaker 2: you've been someone on the Internet who's from any intersectionality
3:12
Speaker 2: and martialized community. We are going to be talking about that,
3:15
Speaker 2: including some quotes that I find very infuriating, but nothing
3:17
Speaker 2: to to in depth because today we're talking about Reddit.
3:21
Speaker 1: Oh Reddit, Yes, and we're doing kind of.
3:24
Speaker 2: It wasn't planned, but we have a lot of technology
3:27
Speaker 2: based episodes coming.
3:30
Speaker 3: It's kind of how our minds go from we should
3:32
Speaker 3: talk about this to this and this and all these
3:34
Speaker 3: subjects need an episode in itself because it's too big.
3:37
Speaker 3: They are very different platforms, but they affect women and
3:41
Speaker 3: marginalized communities pretty deeply. So yeah, we had to yeah.
3:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, And one thing I've found in researching this is
3:49
Speaker 2: you know that there are those problems that you wouldn't
3:52
Speaker 2: surprise you that exist on all of them, but they
3:54
Speaker 2: are distinct, which is interesting, right, So I wanted to
4:00
Speaker 2: ask you, Samantha, what is your experience with Reddit.
4:05
Speaker 3: It is so if I had to put a percentage,
4:08
Speaker 3: I probably mess with it about ten percent of its utilities,
4:14
Speaker 3: I guess you can say. And I say this in
4:16
Speaker 3: that I never had a Reddit account. I don't even
4:18
Speaker 3: know how to work Reddit, and I say this as yes,
4:21
Speaker 3: it sounds like I am an aged boomer. But the
4:26
Speaker 3: problem about Reddit for me is I don't understand the
4:30
Speaker 3: way it stacks. So you get the original post and
4:33
Speaker 3: in the comments, and you can't just search from what
4:36
Speaker 3: I gather, So it's very very foreign concept to me.
4:40
Speaker 3: I do enjoy the concept of it because I can
4:47
Speaker 3: learn about Reddit posts through other platforms. So typically how
4:50
Speaker 3: I read Reddit posts is through Twitter someone that brings
4:54
Speaker 3: it about and be like, hey, look at this Reddit
4:55
Speaker 3: post and I'm like, okay, cool, and or from my partner,
4:58
Speaker 3: who was an enthusiast when it to Reddit, has probably
5:01
Speaker 3: known more about it than anything, has a lot of
5:04
Speaker 3: things that they love about it and will show me posts,
5:07
Speaker 3: will save post for me. When it comes to a dog,
5:10
Speaker 3: videos that are cute, fun laugh so that there's a
5:14
Speaker 3: thing about like contagious laughter. There's a whole channel like
5:17
Speaker 3: he loves that, so he'll send me things like that.
5:20
Speaker 3: But I've also heard so many horror stories and I'm like, no,
5:22
Speaker 3: I don't I'm not gonna mess with that. I don't
5:24
Speaker 3: want to know. There are a few that I will
5:26
Speaker 3: like I have subscribed to and then we're going to
5:29
Speaker 3: talk about it. But I do follow that. Am I
5:31
Speaker 3: the ass reddit twitter feed so that I can read
5:35
Speaker 3: that way? But yeah, that is that is the depth
5:40
Speaker 3: of my Reddit experience. What about you?
5:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm similar.
5:43
Speaker 2: I've always had a hesitance around Reddit, even though I
5:47
Speaker 2: have friends who are women who love it, and it's
5:50
Speaker 2: kind of a running joke that they're always like, I
5:52
Speaker 2: saw this on Reddit, I saw this on Reddit, or
5:54
Speaker 2: today I checked this the read on Reddit. But I've
5:56
Speaker 2: always been hesitant about it because of some of the
5:58
Speaker 2: things we're going to talk about, some of which has
6:00
Speaker 2: been overblown and some of which has not. And I
6:03
Speaker 2: remember when I first was working on this stuff, Mom,
6:04
Speaker 2: I've never told you YouTube channel. They asked me, like,
6:07
Speaker 2: you should go post in Reddit, and I was like,
6:10
Speaker 2: I don't know anything about Reddit, but I can tell
6:13
Speaker 2: you as someone who doesn't have a Reddit account, if
6:15
Speaker 2: I just come in as a company, you can't even
6:17
Speaker 2: post it unless you have enough karma points. By the way,
6:20
Speaker 2: it's not gonna look good. It's not gonna look good
6:22
Speaker 2: for me. It's not gonna look good for us, so
6:25
Speaker 2: we're not gonna do it.
6:26
Speaker 1: And we did.
6:26
Speaker 3: That means you're posing as a Reddit person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:30
Speaker 3: Did you know there is a Reddit thread about stuff
6:32
Speaker 3: I've never told you? Yeah? So I found it a
6:36
Speaker 3: while ago when I was researching everything. It just kind
6:39
Speaker 3: of the one I found so genuinely like, not mean.
6:44
Speaker 3: It was just about the changing of hosts and it
6:46
Speaker 3: just updates. Oh okay, as that it changes it seems.
6:50
Speaker 3: I did see a few people comment about why what's happening?
6:53
Speaker 3: So that people trying to answer questions, I'd just linger
6:56
Speaker 3: for long because I was scared.
6:59
Speaker 1: Oh wow, listeners, let us know we should check that out.
7:03
Speaker 2: We're speaking of I uh again. Forever ago, when Bridget
7:10
Speaker 2: and I did those episodes on fan fiction, a bunch
7:12
Speaker 2: of you wrote in and said there are fan fiction
7:14
Speaker 2: communities on Reddit, which surprised me, but actually pretty thriving
7:18
Speaker 2: fan fiction communities.
7:19
Speaker 1: I did. I have read fan fiction.
7:21
Speaker 2: On Reddit when I was younger, in my early fan
7:25
Speaker 2: fiction days, and I read.
7:26
Speaker 3: The scary post it on.
7:29
Speaker 1: Yeah and people can.
7:31
Speaker 2: I think there's collections there and people post but I
7:34
Speaker 2: read one that was a Silent Hill too fan fiction,
7:36
Speaker 2: and it's legitimately one of the scariest things I ever read,
7:38
Speaker 2: and I never went back.
7:40
Speaker 1: No, scared so badly.
7:43
Speaker 2: Okay, author though, I know, I know, And kudos is
7:47
Speaker 2: the thing you give to authors that you like.
7:49
Speaker 1: On answer, I'm so hipps, you are so hip.
7:53
Speaker 3: I feel like I just completely decimated that.
8:02
Speaker 2: I do also know because of one of said friends
8:06
Speaker 2: that she'll always update me on her there's a last
8:10
Speaker 2: of us to hate Reddit.
8:11
Speaker 1: She'll update me on that.
8:13
Speaker 3: Oh no.
8:14
Speaker 2: And she also I've told you this, Samantha, she hates
8:17
Speaker 2: onions and she's on like a I Hate onions reddit
8:22
Speaker 2: sub reddit. One time it was infiltrated by people who
8:26
Speaker 2: love onions, and that's one of my very favorite things.
8:31
Speaker 3: There's a lot of battles, it seems on Reddit.
8:34
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes, And from what I gather, a
8:37
Speaker 2: lot of it is kind of done in fun. Ecolectic
8:41
Speaker 2: was a word I saw a lot spirits, so I
8:44
Speaker 2: believe these pro onion people it was in good fun,
8:48
Speaker 2: I hope. And then also fan fiction again, there's a
8:53
Speaker 2: popular trope and fan fiction where like your favorite fictional
8:55
Speaker 2: characters will use modern day technologies and so I've a
9:00
Speaker 2: few that.
9:00
Speaker 1: Are am I the ass but with Star Wars characters.
9:03
Speaker 2: So one is like Darth Vader being my son was
9:06
Speaker 2: being particularly annoying, so I cut off his hand.
9:09
Speaker 1: Am I. They asked something like that.
9:10
Speaker 3: Okay, I know that they have a huge following us.
9:14
Speaker 3: In fact, they're podcasts that are made up just to
9:17
Speaker 3: read off, oh verticts to post off of am I
9:20
Speaker 3: the app. So whoever started that is a genius.
9:23
Speaker 2: Yes, and we are, as you said, going to be
9:26
Speaker 2: talking about a lot of that. We have some examples
9:27
Speaker 2: because there's interesting things and this was one of the
9:30
Speaker 2: reasons it was just your idea to talk about this
9:32
Speaker 2: is it's kind of spotlighted a lot of our still
9:37
Speaker 2: latent sexism and especially heterosexual relationships.
9:42
Speaker 1: So get ready for that.
9:46
Speaker 3: Be pumped about that.
9:47
Speaker 2: Yes, but before we get into that, let's break down
9:50
Speaker 2: some of the basics here. So a brief explainer on Reddit,
9:54
Speaker 2: which is called the front page of the Internet. And
9:56
Speaker 2: it's called that because you read it on Reddit, which
10:01
Speaker 2: I never never knew that never.
10:03
Speaker 1: Wow, that makes me feel better and I was like, oh.
10:06
Speaker 3: No, I just knew it never. It's kind of one
10:09
Speaker 3: of those games that you play when you have that
10:11
Speaker 3: you know, they don't actually spell it out, but the
10:13
Speaker 3: sounds and you're supposed to figure out the sentence. That's
10:16
Speaker 3: this level. I would have never thought that.
10:18
Speaker 1: Yep, same read.
10:21
Speaker 2: It was founded by three University of Virginia students in
10:24
Speaker 2: two thousand and five, Steve Huffman, Alexis o'hannian with Aaron Schwartz,
10:30
Speaker 2: and I put with because his role is disputed and
10:33
Speaker 2: there's a lot of drama. If we were a different podcast,
10:35
Speaker 2: we could break down, but we are not that podcast.
10:37
Speaker 2: But if you want to look it up, so much
10:40
Speaker 2: drama in the leadership of Reddit, Oh my goodness. A
10:42
Speaker 2: year later it was acquired by conte Nast, although I
10:45
Speaker 2: did read that they used a lot of fake accounts
10:48
Speaker 2: to make it look like it was more used than.
10:49
Speaker 3: It actually interesting.
10:53
Speaker 2: But yeah, its value has skyrocketed since then, And if
10:58
Speaker 2: you are unaware, it's essentially a hue, huge depository of
11:01
Speaker 2: forums where people can post content and comment and vote
11:05
Speaker 2: on other people's post upvoter, down vote. It's divided into
11:09
Speaker 2: over a million specific communities or forums called subreddits, which
11:13
Speaker 2: are labeled as our slash whatever topic, and these subreddits
11:18
Speaker 2: can cover pretty much anything, and we're talking like niche
11:21
Speaker 2: stuff like this onion thing, I like, very very niche,
11:25
Speaker 2: but also, as discussed in the past episodes, things like
11:29
Speaker 2: men's rights activists, users and content the red pills. So
11:33
Speaker 2: we've talked about Reddit quite a bit on here, just
11:35
Speaker 2: never specifically. Certain criteria must be met in order to
11:41
Speaker 2: create a subreddit. Basically, you have to have a fairly
11:44
Speaker 2: active account that's over thirty days old, and a certain
11:46
Speaker 2: number of Karma points determined by upvotes and down votes.
11:51
Speaker 2: But apparently the exact number is a Reddit secret, which I'm.
11:53
Speaker 1: Like, how, what's that? Okay, it's bias, I know, I'm like, hmmm.
12:00
Speaker 2: These subreddits are managed by volunteer moderators also called mods. Uh.
12:05
Speaker 2: They can control various appearance aspects of a subreddit and
12:09
Speaker 2: the content that is allowed, even removing some are banning users.
12:13
Speaker 2: The whole thing is managed by Reddit employees called admins,
12:17
Speaker 2: that can ban users, demote mods, and even get rid
12:21
Speaker 2: of whole subreddits. A lot of Reddit terminology comes in abbreviations,
12:26
Speaker 2: and some of the ones, some of the big ones
12:28
Speaker 2: you may have heard, and some of them that we're
12:31
Speaker 2: going to dig into more are Ama asked me anything
12:34
Speaker 2: and A I T A, R AM, I the ass.
12:37
Speaker 1: But it's just like so many and.
12:40
Speaker 3: I don't understand them, and I have to sit there
12:42
Speaker 3: and stare at them, going okay, what Yeah, so they
12:49
Speaker 3: asked me anything I didn't know. I knew the aum
12:51
Speaker 3: A part, you know, That's what I was just so,
12:54
Speaker 3: you know, uh huh, because I don't know Reddit. And
12:57
Speaker 3: the only time I oversee this are when celebrities get
12:59
Speaker 3: on people are super excited or like authors and that
13:03
Speaker 3: which sounds like a great idea. It seems like a
13:05
Speaker 3: really smart thing, but I know there's been a lot
13:06
Speaker 3: of trouble where they've had to shut things down. Yeah,
13:09
Speaker 3: that's a whole different conversation. But you know what, It's
13:11
Speaker 3: often used for philanthropic fundraisers and a lot of the
13:14
Speaker 3: users love it, calling it fun, eccentric place to share content,
13:18
Speaker 3: and I've heard that. But like everything, Reddit is not
13:21
Speaker 3: without its issues, and we've talked about it before. One
13:24
Speaker 3: that we're not going to really get into today but
13:26
Speaker 3: we've discussed in brief before is internet vigilantism data collection.
13:32
Speaker 3: Have been once said Reddit knows the dark secrets of
13:35
Speaker 3: its users, and it was later discovered he'd tend't Russian
13:38
Speaker 3: ConTroll activity on the site, which is a concern right
13:42
Speaker 3: now for a lot of these platforms. During the twenty
13:44
Speaker 3: twenty George Floyd protest, eight hundred moderators called for the
13:48
Speaker 3: banning of the sexist and racist subreddits and hate speech,
13:51
Speaker 3: and in June of that year they banned somewhere around
13:54
Speaker 3: two thousand subreddits, including the subreddit are slash gender critical
14:00
Speaker 3: are just a urf subreddit. Some of the bands drew
14:03
Speaker 3: complaints around censorship, especially politically. Just this year, the company
14:08
Speaker 3: banned the word groomer when used as a slur against
14:12
Speaker 3: LGBTQ plus folks. They also introduced AI tools to find
14:16
Speaker 3: hate speech, but posters have found ways around it, which
14:20
Speaker 3: is hard to keep up with. In twenty twenty one, Ultraviolet,
14:24
Speaker 3: which friend of the show Bridget Todd works with, closely,
14:28
Speaker 3: found Reddit had a C on this sexism report card
14:32
Speaker 3: and this was the highest grade of the social media
14:35
Speaker 3: platforms they surveyed, which makes me sad.
14:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was not pretty. It was not
14:42
Speaker 1: pretty a.
14:43
Speaker 3: Ce yay passing. But to be fair, and again I
14:47
Speaker 3: say this with like because this is also part of
14:50
Speaker 3: the conversation we were having and talking about doing this episode.
14:53
Speaker 3: Reddit seems like a fairly better space for women to
14:56
Speaker 3: get sound advice because we talked about them during the
15:00
Speaker 3: the rebels of the abortion movement, more so than some
15:04
Speaker 3: of the other platforms. But yeah, see.
15:06
Speaker 2: Damn yeah, And you should look it up listeners if
15:10
Speaker 2: you haven't seen it, because it breaks down by category
15:13
Speaker 2: and then averaged out, so C was the average and
15:16
Speaker 2: it got an F in other like any specific categories,
15:20
Speaker 2: but like right, see overall, and this gets kind of
15:37
Speaker 2: complicated because there's been a lot of phases of this,
15:39
Speaker 2: so we're we're going to jump around a little bit.
15:41
Speaker 2: But beginning in twenty fourteen, read It enacted policies banning
15:46
Speaker 2: harassment involuntary sexualization and banned several forums focused on bigotry
15:52
Speaker 2: or harassment, including subreddits targeting gay, fat, and black people. Notably,
15:59
Speaker 2: this happened under the extremely controversial and short lived leadership
16:03
Speaker 2: of Ellen Powe and whoa is there a lot of
16:06
Speaker 2: drama around that. Depending on what you read, she is
16:09
Speaker 2: either an absolute dictator or a scapegoat who did her best,
16:13
Speaker 2: but it cannot be denied there was a lot of
16:16
Speaker 2: sexist talk around her, and she received rape and death threats.
16:20
Speaker 2: While she was serving this position, a lot of discussion
16:25
Speaker 2: around free speech and censorship happened under her. Basically, the
16:28
Speaker 2: guy she was serving for as interim he.
16:32
Speaker 1: Went on Reddit and like, let loose and you can.
16:37
Speaker 2: Read all of these comments about it, but he was
16:40
Speaker 2: basically like, like, she was in a bad position.
16:44
Speaker 1: She wasn't the one to blame for all of these problems.
16:46
Speaker 2: Everyone had, and leadership who was to blame should have
16:49
Speaker 2: come forward and said that, and they didn't. And I
16:51
Speaker 2: know people are still mad about it, but essentially that's
16:54
Speaker 2: the vibe I got. That's definitely what he said, because
16:58
Speaker 2: a lot of this happened around the alleged no. I mean,
17:01
Speaker 2: somebody was a very popular Reddit employee was fired and
17:05
Speaker 2: she was a woman, and people blamed Ellen Powell.
17:08
Speaker 1: But according to what I've read, it was not her decision.
17:12
Speaker 2: But that didn't stop the higher ups from letting her
17:15
Speaker 2: take the blame.
17:17
Speaker 1: So that's a bigger thing.
17:18
Speaker 2: But I did find that interesting because so many things
17:21
Speaker 2: popped up about it when I was researching this, and
17:25
Speaker 2: after hashtag me too our slash in cells was taken
17:30
Speaker 2: down in late twenty seventeen. At the time, people on
17:35
Speaker 2: this subreddit were arguing that rape is just sex, but
17:38
Speaker 2: also that reverse rate men who wanted sex but weren't
17:42
Speaker 2: having it should be a part of the discussion around
17:45
Speaker 2: me too. A member posed as a woman in a
17:49
Speaker 2: legal advice subreddit to try to get advice for getting
17:51
Speaker 2: away with rape. And this whole thing spawned our slash
17:56
Speaker 2: in cell tears, which tracks in cell extremist and I
18:00
Speaker 2: think we've talked about that before, but I know from
18:02
Speaker 2: my friends read that one. In twenty eighteen, the company
18:05
Speaker 2: introduced new policies to minimize harassment, including hiding post messages
18:10
Speaker 2: and comments from selected users, as well as new guidelines
18:13
Speaker 2: around banning content that called for violence.
18:16
Speaker 3: All right, didn't fourtune come off of Reddit? Essentially they
18:22
Speaker 3: were banned from that, so they started their own that's.
18:25
Speaker 1: I believe, So I believe.
18:27
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, I know we talked about it before
18:29
Speaker 3: when we talked about in cells, So you know, kind
18:32
Speaker 3: of good. I guess not that fortane exists, but they're
18:34
Speaker 3: not all Reddit, but yeah, that's a whole different conversation again.
18:38
Speaker 3: According to some resources, Reddit was the seventh most popular
18:41
Speaker 3: website in twenty twenty one, and the nineteenth most popular globally.
18:46
Speaker 3: In twenty eighteen, they were giving about one hundred and
18:48
Speaker 3: ten million one hundred and ten million users monthly, so
18:52
Speaker 3: it's inspired other sites like imager Imager, I don't know
18:55
Speaker 3: how to say this, however, an estimated seventy four percent
18:58
Speaker 3: of the Reddit users are actually men, though it's predominantly
19:02
Speaker 3: left leaning and young, which surprises me. Less than nineteen
19:05
Speaker 3: percent are right leaning and only one percent are over
19:08
Speaker 3: sixty five, which, again, yeah, as a forty seven year old,
19:12
Speaker 3: I don't touch that.
19:14
Speaker 2: This is one of those things that makes sense when
19:16
Speaker 2: I thought about it, but when I again, I think
19:20
Speaker 2: it's because bad actors get so much news media and
19:24
Speaker 2: they're so bad that I'm afraid to use Reddit because
19:28
Speaker 2: of them, even if they're small, even if they're a
19:31
Speaker 2: small subset. That I just had this assumption that there
19:36
Speaker 2: was going to be a lot more right leaning people.
19:38
Speaker 2: But it does make sense because, well, some things we're
19:41
Speaker 2: going to talk about, So we did want to focus
19:45
Speaker 2: specifically on some of the issues that women and other
19:49
Speaker 2: intersectionalities and marginalized communities face on Reddit, starting with moderators.
19:55
Speaker 2: So in the wake of Me Too, some moderators and
19:58
Speaker 2: subs like are slash band female Hate really tackled banning
20:02
Speaker 2: sexist content on Reddit, including first time mods, so maybe
20:06
Speaker 2: they were joining because of this. Subreddits like r slash
20:10
Speaker 2: abused sluts, r slash Raping Women, Our slash against Women's Rights,
20:15
Speaker 2: and our slash deadly Erotica were things that they found
20:20
Speaker 2: and raised their hand about. There's our slash Mother Daughter,
20:25
Speaker 2: which is a subreddit dedicated to posting pictures of mothers
20:28
Speaker 2: and daughters and describing what the poster would like to
20:30
Speaker 2: do to them sexually. There's another where men create ai
20:35
Speaker 2: girlfriends are mean to them and then post about it
20:38
Speaker 2: on Reddit. There's Tributes Delivered, which is basically messaging women
20:44
Speaker 2: in underage girls with unsolicited pictures they'd masturbated and ejaculated.
20:48
Speaker 1: On, and then posting pictures of that.
20:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, many of these have had hundreds of thousands of followers,
20:56
Speaker 2: but these mods, who again are volunteers, report being overwhelmed
21:01
Speaker 2: by the emotional toll, and a lot of the mods
21:04
Speaker 2: fighting this sexism are women, and a lot of them
21:06
Speaker 2: end up leaving. Mods have also reported feeling ignored and
21:10
Speaker 2: unsupported by the company when they do raise concerns are
21:14
Speaker 2: flag material, so it feels kind of hopeless almost and
21:20
Speaker 2: on top of that, they don't have a great record
21:23
Speaker 2: outside of the Anglo sphere or English speaking world of
21:27
Speaker 2: controlling hate speech, to say the least. The company says
21:31
Speaker 2: it's aiming to combat this by hiring more non English speakers,
21:34
Speaker 2: amongst other things. Many have spoken out about how the
21:37
Speaker 2: unpaid moderator model has its limits, leading to further extremism,
21:42
Speaker 2: and it is worth noting that when a subreddit is banned,
21:46
Speaker 2: the redditors often migrate to another subreddit or maybe even
21:51
Speaker 2: another website. But there is a really big vibe of
21:55
Speaker 2: you know, you don't like it, you can leave and
22:00
Speaker 2: oo here we're getting into some of the comments.
22:02
Speaker 1: So just that's not your thing today, I understand.
22:07
Speaker 2: So here's an example of the comments some women mods
22:10
Speaker 2: reported receiving. I want you to get cancer because I
22:13
Speaker 2: want to see your own body killing you. I want
22:16
Speaker 2: you to get cancer, your mother, sister, brother, father, grandparents.
22:19
Speaker 2: I want them all to get cancer, and when they
22:21
Speaker 2: open their mouths, I want to piss in them.
22:23
Speaker 1: I hate you, you nasty, disgusting slut.
22:28
Speaker 2: The in Gadget article that included this quote disclosed that
22:31
Speaker 2: every mod they interviewed for this piece had received a
22:35
Speaker 2: death threat every one of.
22:36
Speaker 3: Them, right right, And I don't know any I guess
22:40
Speaker 3: we could even look about it, but like, read it
22:43
Speaker 3: in itself, how does it make money me?
22:46
Speaker 2: You know, I think they make it verse so they
22:49
Speaker 2: read it as tears. They have one tier where you pay,
22:52
Speaker 2: they have advertising.
22:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm wondering about for the moderators, like for
22:57
Speaker 3: TikTok creators and Instagram creators who have followings, they make money.
23:01
Speaker 3: Do the Reddit renators make money like that?
23:04
Speaker 1: I would love if somebody wrote in and let us know.
23:06
Speaker 1: I don't think so, yeah, let us know.
23:08
Speaker 3: If you're a big Reddit poster, Katie, Katie, let us know.
23:14
Speaker 3: Is it possible to get money like that? I don't know.
23:16
Speaker 3: I know, like you were saying that that you can
23:18
Speaker 3: make ads, you can pay for the ads that are
23:21
Speaker 3: on the side, which I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, that
23:22
Speaker 3: makes sense. But I'm wondering how it works for those
23:26
Speaker 3: who have a viral content or a get because I
23:28
Speaker 3: know people follow each other on Reddit too, right, Like
23:31
Speaker 3: you're like, you may not know their name, but you
23:33
Speaker 3: follow this one person because you like what they're doing
23:35
Speaker 3: or something, and links to their other social media sites,
23:38
Speaker 3: which I've never seen people put reddits the Reddit handles
23:41
Speaker 3: when they're advertising that I'm on other platforms. Yeah, I
23:44
Speaker 3: don't have to think about it. But yeah, here's another
23:47
Speaker 3: disgusting thing. Y'all ready for it. One of the biggest
23:50
Speaker 3: things that you'll come across when researching women's sexism and
23:53
Speaker 3: Reddit is something called creep shots. Sexual images take it
23:57
Speaker 3: of women and post it without their knowledge, and similarly,
24:02
Speaker 3: nude photos. Yeah, some of these images are uploaded and
24:06
Speaker 3: sold again without consent. There have been some high profile
24:10
Speaker 3: cases too. In twenty fourteen, there was a large leak
24:13
Speaker 3: of nude pictures of women's celebrities posted non consensually. A
24:17
Speaker 3: couple of years later, Reddit shut down on subreddit posting
24:21
Speaker 3: deep fakes, which is a horrifying thought because, oh my god,
24:24
Speaker 3: of women in porn. Some revenge videos have been posted
24:28
Speaker 3: and monetized without the women's consent, which still is a
24:30
Speaker 3: conversation because it's still not been a fully addressed. This
24:33
Speaker 3: trade in nudes is called collector culture. There's a horror
24:39
Speaker 3: movie about that, folks. Yeah, and many of these pictures
24:41
Speaker 3: often come with personal information like social media handles and addresses.
24:45
Speaker 3: Holy crap.
24:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gross. And scary. Okay, so this brings us
24:50
Speaker 2: to am I the Ass. Reddit is kind of famous
24:55
Speaker 2: for hosting a lot of so called nice guys. And
24:59
Speaker 2: you know that's the guy who claims he's so nice,
25:01
Speaker 2: he does everything right. Why are women denying me in
25:04
Speaker 2: a romantic relationship?
25:06
Speaker 1: And then everyone's like, the way you're terrible.
25:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you're demanding someone like you because you're seemingly nice.
25:12
Speaker 3: But if you have to say you're nice, yeah, probably
25:15
Speaker 3: not true.
25:15
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. And I feel like this is that's part
25:19
Speaker 2: of what I had. And again I have friends who
25:22
Speaker 2: are women who love read it. This is just like
25:24
Speaker 2: my outsider. I don't know what for some reason I
25:27
Speaker 2: thought this, but I was like, oh, that's where the
25:28
Speaker 2: nice guys go.
25:29
Speaker 1: And I feel like, am I the Ass has.
25:33
Speaker 2: Become a lot of calling that out right, and we
25:37
Speaker 2: have a lot of examples for it. Okay, So from
25:40
Speaker 2: a Guardian article about a man in his thirties who
25:43
Speaker 2: frequented the red pill. So we're going to go through
25:46
Speaker 2: some of these am i ass posts and oh my goodness,
25:51
Speaker 2: oh my goodness. All right, so here's the quote Morpheus Manfred,
25:55
Speaker 2: having spent my twenties looking for female companionship. I noticed
25:59
Speaker 2: that the dating game wasn't what I was taught, what
26:01
Speaker 2: my parents prepared me for, and what I learned from movies.
26:04
Speaker 2: It was stacked against guys, and it was a very
26:06
Speaker 2: unpleasant experience. Over the past ten years, the flickiness of
26:09
Speaker 2: women has gotten worse. You'd meet a girl, hit it off,
26:13
Speaker 2: get her number, and agree to date, and either she'd
26:15
Speaker 2: no show or cancel right before I found myself putting
26:18
Speaker 2: in all this effort for nothing. It was very defeating.
26:21
Speaker 2: It's not the way courting worked when my parents met.
26:25
Speaker 2: What I saw in movies. We're having a good heart
26:28
Speaker 2: and being yourself as all you need. That's not what
26:31
Speaker 2: happens now. Good and nice guys aren't attractive anymore. The
26:34
Speaker 2: manosphere fundamentally became a surrogate father for the life lessons
26:38
Speaker 2: I never got. So this man this actually was not
26:43
Speaker 2: from am I the asso. They were interviewing people about
26:45
Speaker 2: why did you get involved in this manosphere space? And
26:49
Speaker 2: so this was a quote from this user about it.
26:53
Speaker 2: And it was an interesting article because some people made
26:55
Speaker 2: the point like maybe you know a lot of these
26:58
Speaker 2: dudes just need the sounding board to get it off
27:00
Speaker 2: their chests.
27:01
Speaker 1: And move on. But a lot of them don't.
27:02
Speaker 2: And that's something that we've talked about before, and this
27:05
Speaker 2: whole like overall mindset like maybe, yeah, you just say
27:09
Speaker 2: that and get it off your chest and move on.
27:10
Speaker 2: But I feel like what we're talking about here is
27:13
Speaker 2: a bigger problem of how we think society should function
27:19
Speaker 2: and where women the roles women should play.
27:22
Speaker 3: Right, and then also the ones that will play those
27:26
Speaker 3: roles don't meet your expectations because of A, B and
27:29
Speaker 3: C that you have placed upon that that's all different conversation,
27:32
Speaker 3: but yes.
27:32
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And so like this whole idea has gotten
27:36
Speaker 2: intertwined with am I the Ass And that is one
27:38
Speaker 2: of the reasons, as we said, we want to talk
27:40
Speaker 2: about this because that supreddit is so popular and it
27:43
Speaker 2: has taken off, and as you said, it's got podcasts
27:45
Speaker 2: and Twitter handles and all the time I'm hearing like
27:49
Speaker 2: did you see this am I the Ass? And as
27:52
Speaker 2: I said, it's really highlighted a lot of sexism going
27:54
Speaker 2: on and perhaps particularly in hetero relationships. And basically, yeah,
27:58
Speaker 2: if you haven't heard of it, it's a forum where
28:00
Speaker 2: people post problems or disagreements they've had with others and
28:04
Speaker 2: ask if they're the villain in the story, like am
28:06
Speaker 2: I being unreasonable? Or is the other person or party
28:10
Speaker 2: being unreasonable?
28:11
Speaker 3: Again, this is one of the only things that I
28:13
Speaker 3: look at when I'm looking at read it, and typically
28:15
Speaker 3: i'll look at it through Twitter and or again a
28:18
Speaker 3: podcast that pops up from TikTok, my God, Everything's Inner
28:21
Speaker 3: splices it. But then I will go and check it
28:25
Speaker 3: out and see what the comments are saying. Typically if
28:27
Speaker 3: they have comments coming back, like there's some that's like
28:29
Speaker 3: really entertaining. That's where George's the Cat came from. If
28:32
Speaker 3: you follow them on Twitter, who is a union loving
28:36
Speaker 3: a radical cat? Fantastic? But it started off with the
28:40
Speaker 3: fact that the coworker wanted to butter the cat. And again,
28:43
Speaker 3: if you haven't read it, you should. I remember when
28:45
Speaker 3: it first came out and everybody was on Twitter just
28:48
Speaker 3: losing their mind because they're like, this has to be fake,
28:51
Speaker 3: this has to be fake. And to that point, like
28:54
Speaker 3: George has now like thousands and thousands of followers and
28:58
Speaker 3: it's getting one to fights with people, and they also
29:00
Speaker 3: had a problematic issue just recently. But hey, that's a
29:02
Speaker 3: whole different conversation. It has all of these aspects to that.
29:06
Speaker 3: But then you have the ones that are super serious,
29:08
Speaker 3: to the point that people were like, oh, yo, you're
29:10
Speaker 3: gonna get murdered. Leave. How these posts go is literally
29:14
Speaker 3: goes me. And then they give the age and their gender,
29:17
Speaker 3: my husband or my partner age gender, explains the story.
29:21
Speaker 3: You can write assole, not the ass. You're both asked
29:25
Speaker 3: kind of the ass kind of thing, or these other
29:27
Speaker 3: person is the ass. Like they give you these options,
29:30
Speaker 3: which is nice, and then you explain things. But this
29:33
Speaker 3: one woman that I read through was like really horrifying
29:36
Speaker 3: the fact that her husband's younger brother was very co
29:40
Speaker 3: dependent on them, very needy, and there's something kind of off.
29:43
Speaker 3: Turned out he was peeing on her stuff. We're pretty
29:47
Speaker 3: sure he abused the cat, all these things, and then
29:49
Speaker 3: they found him, like he got kicked out, and everybody
29:52
Speaker 3: felt sorry for him. The mother felt sorry for him,
29:54
Speaker 3: like the mother was enabling this younger brother, and everybody's like,
29:59
Speaker 3: you don't need to worries, not a big deal. Then
30:00
Speaker 3: later on they find her picture posted in his room
30:03
Speaker 3: with like all these marks on it and like he
30:05
Speaker 3: had collected and stolen things from her with intent that
30:08
Speaker 3: he was going to hurt her, and then somewhere along
30:10
Speaker 3: the lines, a niece came in, a young niece, like
30:13
Speaker 3: preteen niece came in the picture and he was like.
30:15
Speaker 3: Everybody was like, Okay, yeah, there's something wrong with this guy.
30:18
Speaker 3: And this woman would come back with follow ups and
30:21
Speaker 3: updates about it, and then the last thing we find
30:23
Speaker 3: out is that he has been given a restraining order.
30:27
Speaker 3: That was a huge fight and he is now under
30:29
Speaker 3: supervision because people were seriously scared, and I think the
30:33
Speaker 3: cat didn't make it like it was this whole thing.
30:36
Speaker 3: I was very upset. I think the people were so upset.
30:39
Speaker 3: But you have serious things like this, and a majority
30:42
Speaker 3: of the am I asked posts are about relationships, as
30:47
Speaker 3: you said, and a lot of it has like in
30:49
Speaker 3: law relationships, sister relationships. One of those was like talking
30:53
Speaker 3: about the fact that a sister in law, god, there
30:56
Speaker 3: was a lot of in laws, was making fun of
30:58
Speaker 3: the husband who that was the in law who is
31:01
Speaker 3: a chef and she is a chef and he's an
31:03
Speaker 3: Asian chef, and she went in with making racist comments
31:06
Speaker 3: about him being an Asian chef, to the point that
31:08
Speaker 3: she got fired because like she worked at a training
31:12
Speaker 3: like I think she worked at an Asian fusion restaurant
31:14
Speaker 3: and she was making fun of Asian cooks, so it
31:16
Speaker 3: was like, oh damn, and she was not Asian. I
31:18
Speaker 3: think she was white from the post and it divided
31:21
Speaker 3: the entire family. And apparently the parents got divorced because
31:24
Speaker 3: the mother was enabling like it was or the father
31:27
Speaker 3: was enabling the child. And that's where the racist like
31:30
Speaker 3: came from, where racism was learned from. I guess, like
31:33
Speaker 3: it was a whole thing and it just killed their relationship.
31:36
Speaker 3: But you have advice in the columns like that, But
31:39
Speaker 3: a lot of these are women coming and asking about
31:41
Speaker 3: advice about their relationships and whether or not oftentimes am
31:44
Speaker 3: I being cheated on? Was? Is kind of the conversation
31:47
Speaker 3: and about emotional affairs. It's the whole thing. But what
31:50
Speaker 3: I've repeatedly seen is like the fact that they will
31:53
Speaker 3: write these posts and people thought about like, you're not
31:56
Speaker 3: the ass, but you need to leave because he is awful.
32:00
Speaker 3: These are red flags. This is not going to change.
32:03
Speaker 3: These are things blah blahlah blah, to the point like, yeah,
32:05
Speaker 3: all of the answers are typically yeah, you're not to
32:07
Speaker 3: ask to get a divorce, get a divorce, get a divorce.
32:10
Speaker 3: But some of these have been really empowering because a
32:13
Speaker 3: lot of the women come back with thank you so
32:15
Speaker 3: much for your advice. This really helped me see some
32:17
Speaker 3: things I didn't really you know, think about this, and
32:19
Speaker 3: you're right, this is going to be a bad thing,
32:21
Speaker 3: and I need to lead like it was just a
32:22
Speaker 3: whole thing. And the reason you and I were talking
32:23
Speaker 3: about Reddit to begin with this because I've been seeing
32:26
Speaker 3: more and more where women are coming to find a
32:29
Speaker 3: crew of people to tell them what they can't see
32:32
Speaker 3: for themselves in the middle of the situation, and it's
32:34
Speaker 3: seemingly fairly empowering, especially the way they're c having this
32:37
Speaker 3: conversation and really hopefully rectifying the situation. Of course, there's
32:43
Speaker 3: others where like the partners have seen it and they
32:45
Speaker 3: respond and that's a whole drama, and so.
32:49
Speaker 1: Well, that's good to hear.
32:50
Speaker 2: I'm heartened to know that it's mostly people being like, hey,
32:56
Speaker 2: you should get out instead of you know, a lot
32:59
Speaker 2: of the victim blamings if we see yeah all the time,
33:01
Speaker 2: and I'm not saying, you know, every post is the same,
33:04
Speaker 2: but you know, because I would hate for somebody to
33:06
Speaker 2: be in a vulnerable situation, and you're getting all these
33:08
Speaker 2: Internet people making it worse.
33:10
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to hear.
33:12
Speaker 3: Typically I have not seen that as of yet.
33:29
Speaker 2: We do have some examples that we want to go over.
33:33
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Okay, so here's a quote from medium
33:36
Speaker 2: about this whole thing. It being am I the ass
33:40
Speaker 2: is a microcosm of gendered entitlement, the story of American sexism,
33:44
Speaker 2: told post by post. There's the guy furious with his
33:47
Speaker 2: girlfriend for dressing up for a work soon, because how
33:49
Speaker 2: dare she look nice for anyone but him? The husband
33:52
Speaker 2: who wants to forbid his wife from breastfeeding in public,
33:55
Speaker 2: The man who is mad that his wife, who has
33:57
Speaker 2: just given birth, doesn't dress sexy anymore, and of course,
34:01
Speaker 2: the one who feels betrayed that his wife keeps her
34:03
Speaker 2: own savings account. There's the man who needs complete silence
34:07
Speaker 2: from his stay at home wife and two toddlers while
34:10
Speaker 2: he works from home because quote, it's her job to
34:13
Speaker 2: be silent and shut the kids up. The husband who
34:16
Speaker 2: refuses to do any domestic work at all because his
34:18
Speaker 2: wife isn't asking nicely enough. He also seems to think
34:21
Speaker 2: his wife has a natural predilection for thankless activity. She
34:24
Speaker 2: doesn't really rest, he wrote, that's.
34:26
Speaker 1: Not her thing.
34:28
Speaker 2: The guy who wants his girlfriend to sell her house
34:30
Speaker 2: because she bought it with money she earned while stripping.
34:32
Speaker 2: And the man who walked out literally on his wife
34:35
Speaker 2: when she got an ovarian cancer diagnosis. I had begged
34:38
Speaker 2: her to have kids since we were twenty six, but
34:41
Speaker 2: she refused for her career, he wrote, as a justification
34:43
Speaker 2: for storming out of the doctor's office. It's not just
34:46
Speaker 2: the stories themselves and how obviously awful they are that
34:49
Speaker 2: stand out. What makes am I the Ass such a
34:52
Speaker 2: special look into gender dynamics is that the men who
34:54
Speaker 2: describe awful scenarios truly don't believe they've done anything wrong.
34:59
Speaker 2: Sexism has fully lulled them into a sense of moral
35:02
Speaker 2: superiority that blinds them to their own explicitly terrible behavior.
35:06
Speaker 3: Yes, and a lot of these. When you read it
35:08
Speaker 3: or like this has to be made up, please told
35:11
Speaker 3: me this is made up, because you really that blind
35:14
Speaker 3: to see it this way. We had one where the
35:18
Speaker 3: woman was getting married picked out a dress his mother
35:20
Speaker 3: because I love and law stuff. His mother didn't like
35:23
Speaker 3: it and picked out another one and asked her to
35:25
Speaker 3: get that one, and his excuses she doesn't have a daughter. Ohoes, oh,
35:31
Speaker 3: and then she said, no, this is my dress. I
35:34
Speaker 3: love it, and behind her back he took it and
35:37
Speaker 3: exchanged it for the one that his mother picked out. Oh,
35:41
Speaker 3: and couldn't figure out why she thought it was a
35:42
Speaker 3: big deal. Wow wow, Yes. So here's another example outside
35:47
Speaker 3: of that one from Selon could a poster named Away,
35:51
Speaker 3: performer on the popular am I the ass Ai Ta subreddit,
35:55
Speaker 3: complained that his neighbor wouldn't cook dinner for him, which,
35:58
Speaker 3: by the way, I did read this. After explaining that
36:01
Speaker 3: he's a thirty one year old single guy who doesn't
36:03
Speaker 3: know how to cook, Away went on to write that
36:05
Speaker 3: he has noticed that his neighbor, a woman named Katie,
36:08
Speaker 3: cooks frequently and quote, it always smells amazing. So I
36:12
Speaker 3: got the idea this is him, that I'd offer to
36:14
Speaker 3: give her some money each week to cook a little
36:16
Speaker 3: extra and bring it over to me, he continues. Unsurprisingly,
36:20
Speaker 3: Katie said no, but Away was undeterred, asking quote if
36:25
Speaker 3: she was sure, and upping the amount I was offering
36:28
Speaker 3: until Katie realized the polite deferrals weren't getting the job. Done,
36:32
Speaker 3: she said, I should get a housekeeper if that's what
36:34
Speaker 3: I want. I remember seeing this and it was hilarious
36:37
Speaker 3: that he kept defending this.
36:40
Speaker 1: What a thing to ask somebody.
36:44
Speaker 3: Asking once maybe'd be like, hey, can I pay you?
36:47
Speaker 3: Because this was awesome, but then to continue as if
36:51
Speaker 3: like that one no should have made it awkward and
36:55
Speaker 3: you should never want to see her again and you
36:56
Speaker 3: should hide. Yeah, exactly, like never, like try to avoid
37:01
Speaker 3: it at all cost, never leave the house again.
37:05
Speaker 2: And the interesting thing about this one, this whole article
37:07
Speaker 2: from Salon was about specifically cooking and ideas men seem
37:12
Speaker 2: to have around women and cooking, and it included quotes
37:15
Speaker 2: from women on other subreddits about how their boyfriends expect
37:18
Speaker 2: them to cook or gave up cooking after they got married,
37:21
Speaker 2: like perhaps they have cooked before marriage and then stopped
37:25
Speaker 2: after they got married. One redditor told his girlfriend, I
37:29
Speaker 2: honestly wouldn't mind having a housewife, and that she should
37:32
Speaker 2: do that because while because she is quote certainly not stupid,
37:36
Speaker 2: but isn't quite on my level. On top of that,
37:40
Speaker 2: many of these posts showcase that men expect women to
37:43
Speaker 2: cook from a young age, but to their standards and desires,
37:46
Speaker 2: so like not what the woman who is cooking wants.
37:49
Speaker 2: They want you to cook, they want the men want
37:52
Speaker 2: you to cook what the men want, which I have
37:55
Speaker 2: witnessed before in my life. The article also cited a
37:59
Speaker 2: study that that married women do more domestic work than
38:02
Speaker 2: single women, despite the fact that they have a partner who,
38:06
Speaker 2: in theory, should be shouldering half the weight. And yes,
38:09
Speaker 2: even women with jobs, and even women who are the
38:12
Speaker 2: only ones in the relationship with jobs.
38:15
Speaker 3: Yep. Another quote from the article quote perhaps the most
38:19
Speaker 3: boneheaded was the redditor who up top denies that he
38:23
Speaker 3: is a quote sexist asshole, but is mad because his wife,
38:27
Speaker 3: a stay at home mother of two who did not
38:29
Speaker 3: think it romantic that he enrolled her in quote into
38:32
Speaker 3: a couple's cooking course with me as an anniversary present
38:35
Speaker 3: so she could quote learn to cook properly. No. Oh,
38:44
Speaker 3: there was also one about like bringing up them again,
38:46
Speaker 3: the mother bringing up his mother into like like comparing
38:50
Speaker 3: in her nagging. Oh it was the whole thing.
38:52
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, here's another quote. One dditor who wrote in
38:56
Speaker 2: who was clearly excited to be engaged to a woman
38:58
Speaker 2: who loves too and cares a lot about health, so
39:01
Speaker 2: she makes a lot of stuff from scratch that we
39:03
Speaker 2: both eat and quote. Her place is super nice while
39:06
Speaker 2: his is a mess. But when he swung by her
39:10
Speaker 2: place one day quote to take some leftovers from home
39:14
Speaker 2: for lunches, he discovered, to his outrage, my girlfriend has
39:17
Speaker 2: a cleaning lady she never told me about. He unleashed
39:20
Speaker 2: in her, saying I felt betrayed because I always thought
39:23
Speaker 2: it was great that I was marrying someone super tidy
39:26
Speaker 2: to balance it out by which he means to clean
39:28
Speaker 2: up after him. And even though she tried to placate
39:31
Speaker 2: him by saying it frees up more time to cook
39:33
Speaker 2: stuff from scratch, he was furious that she hired someone
39:37
Speaker 2: to do something she could do herself. Luckily, the other
39:41
Speaker 2: editors called him out, saying, this sounds like you were
39:44
Speaker 2: getting married to get yourself a maid.
39:46
Speaker 3: Noo, no, wow, yep, wow wow wow wow.
39:54
Speaker 2: And yeah, as you said, from these articles, I read
39:56
Speaker 2: about it, and all these instances were highlighting that hadling
40:00
Speaker 2: and you could follow many of the comments.
40:01
Speaker 1: Do rightly call out these things?
40:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, I will say, like, I don't know if it's
40:08
Speaker 3: just the way it's set up or what. But the
40:09
Speaker 3: majority of the people who are voting and are commenting
40:15
Speaker 3: are those who are in support of typically the right,
40:19
Speaker 3: meaning whoever's obviously the ass you can kind of see it.
40:22
Speaker 3: There's sundays like hmm, they could both be the asshole here,
40:25
Speaker 3: like communication issues or whatever whatnot. But for the most part,
40:30
Speaker 3: and again like the things that are posted on Twitter
40:32
Speaker 3: are not always the things that are posted because they
40:34
Speaker 3: have tons of injuries, by the way, tons and tons
40:37
Speaker 3: and tons. So it's good to see that though, I'm like, oh, yes,
40:40
Speaker 3: because a lot of these like the minute you read it,
40:42
Speaker 3: your blood boils and you're ready to fight, fight somebody.
40:45
Speaker 3: Oh and all the means that come out of these
40:47
Speaker 3: and gifts okay, just kiss okay.
40:51
Speaker 2: And then, in a similar vein to all of this,
40:53
Speaker 2: here's a quote from a She Knows article. One writitor
40:56
Speaker 2: opened up about this process, sharing that her extremely hygienic
41:00
Speaker 2: more on that later partner was horrified by the period
41:03
Speaker 2: underwear she keeps on deck for when she's bleeding each
41:05
Speaker 2: month and insisted she throw them out.
41:08
Speaker 1: Quote.
41:09
Speaker 2: He came across one of my pairs of panties that
41:11
Speaker 2: I specifically only wear during that time of the month.
41:14
Speaker 2: Certain ladies will understand that we keep panties separate for
41:16
Speaker 2: periods than we do for when we aren't. AKA, I
41:19
Speaker 2: have my ugly or maybe bloodstained pairs for my period
41:22
Speaker 2: a my cute and well kempt ones for when I'm
41:24
Speaker 2: not on my period. Anyways, upon seeing these, he told
41:27
Speaker 2: me that I need to throw that pair away and
41:30
Speaker 2: that it's disgusting and unhygienic. He made quite a few
41:33
Speaker 2: comments about how gross they are, despite them being clean
41:37
Speaker 2: but just bloodstained from a previous period spotting situation. She
41:41
Speaker 2: went on to say that when she tried to explain
41:43
Speaker 2: that these are cleaned if a little stained pears that
41:46
Speaker 2: exist for the express reason of getting stained, think a
41:48
Speaker 2: T shirt you wear for painting the house or doing yardwork,
41:50
Speaker 2: he responded poorly and made her feel terrible. He also
41:54
Speaker 2: tried to claim that he was pretty sure other girls
41:56
Speaker 2: people with periods don't do that.
41:58
Speaker 3: Oh, he needs to be single forever, just to be
42:02
Speaker 3: single if you especially you know, if you're dating women.
42:05
Speaker 3: I found it funny because there was another post similar
42:08
Speaker 3: to this, not exactly where she had gone on first
42:10
Speaker 3: or second date new dates. She'd gotten on her period,
42:13
Speaker 3: so she needed a tampon. Uh, so she used, you know,
42:17
Speaker 3: her applicator, she put it in. I believe she put
42:19
Speaker 3: it in her and wrapped it up. You know, if
42:22
Speaker 3: you've used a tampon, you know what I'm talking about.
42:23
Speaker 3: You can get back in the wrapper and if you're embarrassed,
42:25
Speaker 3: you hide it because you try to do all the things.
42:27
Speaker 3: And then you know, in the trash can. Apparently the
42:29
Speaker 3: dude dug in his trash found it and told her
42:32
Speaker 3: that she was not welcome and that she should not
42:34
Speaker 3: have put that in her in his trash can.
42:36
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
42:37
Speaker 3: And she was like what she was upset that she
42:40
Speaker 3: threw away in the trash gear, Oh my gosh, properly. Also,
42:43
Speaker 3: he wouldn't dug through It's yeah, whole thing.
42:47
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of these are showcasing.
42:49
Speaker 3: The stupidity of men.
42:52
Speaker 2: Well yeah, but also how much generalized statement men women
42:58
Speaker 2: are expected to hide, Like everything we're expected to hide,
43:02
Speaker 2: how much work it takes to do something. We're expected
43:04
Speaker 2: to hide These totally normal body functions were expected to
43:09
Speaker 2: put up with your the dude's mom wanting this dress,
43:16
Speaker 2: and that means that you don't matter in this equation
43:19
Speaker 2: even though it's your dress. Like, I feel like there's
43:22
Speaker 2: so much stuff where it's like what you want doesn't matter,
43:26
Speaker 2: and hide from me anything that I don't want to see.
43:29
Speaker 3: Right, I mean there's a lot that you were like, wow,
43:32
Speaker 3: you really thought this was real life? Who really thinks
43:34
Speaker 3: that this is what happens? Like you really want the
43:37
Speaker 3: Disney version of a princess from the nineteen sixties?
43:41
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, they want it's I mean it's like a
43:45
Speaker 2: mom or a maid or exactly based on these popes.
43:49
Speaker 1: That's just the vibe I'm.
43:50
Speaker 3: Getting, right, And I will say, like, it's not all
43:53
Speaker 3: like that. We've talked about many things. I just read
43:56
Speaker 3: one about a man who wanted to make his own
43:59
Speaker 3: birthday came she got upset and there was this whole
44:01
Speaker 3: like in between line and she was absolutely in the wrong.
44:05
Speaker 3: But like, there are other conversations that are had that
44:08
Speaker 3: you're like, okay, huge red flags. At least human decency
44:11
Speaker 3: seems to be central in many of the followers and commenters.
44:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good. I'm happy to hear that.
44:20
Speaker 2: And just some brief like wrapping up comments because you know,
44:24
Speaker 2: we focused on a lot of the grim stuff, but
44:27
Speaker 2: you know, there's a lot of really great stuff about Reddit.
44:30
Speaker 2: It really is, and this misogyny that we have been
44:32
Speaker 2: talking about harms everyone, and Reddit has in cases like this,
44:36
Speaker 2: perhaps shone a light on it. And it impacts how
44:40
Speaker 2: women in non binary folks interactor don't on this platform.
44:44
Speaker 2: It influences other offline behavior. But yeah, it is not
44:48
Speaker 2: all bad at all.
44:50
Speaker 3: Right, And as in fact, when you read through some
44:51
Speaker 3: of the statistics, again the sea is not great higher
44:54
Speaker 3: than other platforms. That's really disconcerting in itself, but a
44:58
Speaker 3: lot of it also has found homes for communities that
45:02
Speaker 3: are really, really genuinely great. We talked about the aunties
45:05
Speaker 3: helping people in the anti abortion things that are happening
45:08
Speaker 3: in the US, and we've talked about that this is
45:10
Speaker 3: such a great idea. Again, a lot of these good
45:13
Speaker 3: intentions can be harmful, so you have to be careful
45:16
Speaker 3: with that. But a lot of these also come together,
45:18
Speaker 3: like with the voting things, they've had conversations about trying
45:21
Speaker 3: to link people in order to get the right access,
45:24
Speaker 3: the right communications. So Reddit is can be an amazing
45:27
Speaker 3: thing again, great dog videos, great contagious laughter videos, other
45:31
Speaker 3: things that I'm like, oh god, I'd never want to
45:33
Speaker 3: see that again. And why yeah, yes, I feel like
45:37
Speaker 3: it does really well. Maybe I'm wrong again, I'm not
45:40
Speaker 3: very good into I'm not very into Reddit in the
45:46
Speaker 3: platform in itself. I'm hovering around all around it, apparently
45:49
Speaker 3: at least outside of it. But you do see that
45:52
Speaker 3: the moderators who are there seem to do a good
45:55
Speaker 3: job in making sure the community stays with it in
45:57
Speaker 3: its boundaries, so they will quickly take things off and
46:00
Speaker 3: or pause things or lock things down. I feel like
46:03
Speaker 3: they have better access to that than I've seen other
46:06
Speaker 3: social media platforms.
46:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, which has its pluses and minuses, but I
46:10
Speaker 2: think when it works, it's great. And also just there's
46:13
Speaker 2: some hilarious stuff that you could find very eccentric, eclectic
46:16
Speaker 2: stuff on Reddit. And I know, like we talked about
46:21
Speaker 2: in our being raised by a parent with narcissism, there's
46:23
Speaker 2: like a great Reddit source for that, and a lot
46:25
Speaker 2: of you have written in about that and how it
46:27
Speaker 2: helped you and you found community that way. And there
46:30
Speaker 2: are some great feminist subreddits. Our slash Feminism, our slash
46:34
Speaker 2: two Chromosomes, which forbids, transphobic or torque, R slash All Women,
46:39
Speaker 2: our slash Black Ladies, r slash Asian two x R
46:42
Speaker 2: slash dose xtatinas, R slash sex Positive, R slash ask feminists,
46:48
Speaker 2: and our slash radical queers. And I probably didn't have
46:51
Speaker 2: to say all the R slashes before those, but here
46:53
Speaker 2: here I went. Often are suggested, and thanks to bitch
46:56
Speaker 2: Media for that list, and it can be a great
46:58
Speaker 2: place to learn and connect and grow when it comes
47:00
Speaker 2: to intersectional feminism. And it's important because a lot of
47:04
Speaker 2: people get their news from the site, which we have
47:06
Speaker 2: to keep in mind, and it shapes Internet conversations and
47:08
Speaker 2: understanding the world, especially for younger folks. So there are
47:12
Speaker 2: these bad things, but there are these good things too,
47:15
Speaker 2: And I would love for anybody who uses Reddit if
47:18
Speaker 2: you have any insights you would like to offer. If
47:20
Speaker 2: you're a mod, let us know if you have any
47:24
Speaker 2: favorite subreddits that we should check out or that you
47:27
Speaker 2: recommend that'ld be great. I do really love Like when
47:30
Speaker 2: my friend Katie told me there was one about hating onions,
47:32
Speaker 2: I was.
47:33
Speaker 1: Just like, of course there is I love it question
47:37
Speaker 1: of course.
47:39
Speaker 3: Yes.
47:39
Speaker 2: You can send us to us at our email, which
47:41
Speaker 2: is steffaniea moom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can
47:43
Speaker 2: find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or on
47:45
Speaker 2: Instagram at stuff whe Never Told You. Thanks as always
47:47
Speaker 2: to our super producer Christia, Hey you, and thanks to
47:51
Speaker 2: you for listening.
47:52
Speaker 1: Stuff One Ever Told You. Dis direction of My Heart Radio.
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