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Transcript

WHY ARE MEN SO EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE? · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables, What made you realize you were
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: better off alone?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Planning my schedule just to avoid him?
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Cool, that's heavy. That's when you know you should just
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: that's heavy.
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: Holy shit.
• 0:16
  Speaker 5: I couldn't imagine coming to like, I couldn't imagine my
• 0:20
  Speaker 5: conscious brain realizing what I'm doing and then being like,
• 0:23
  Speaker 5: oh my god, I hate this fucking person.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and men they are oblivious too, so I wouldn't
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: catch on it at all.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: No, he'd just be thinking, like, you know, freak time.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: He be thinking like, oh, you're busy, busy, that's hot. Yeah, relatable.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Jake Craig, Okay,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Daddy Winner and my Loser in Crime Audio plus KKA Mummy.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: I wasn't going to start with that, but we played
• 1:04
  Speaker 5: a little thing called Paddle yesterday.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: A little bit of jungle pad or a little jungle.
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: Paddle here in Bali, and we booked him for about
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: four pm and I wore sunscreen on my face, thinking
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: I'll just put it on my face. It's a combination
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: of moisturizer, sunscreen, you know, win win, and sweat, and
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: you know, yeah, it.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Is what it is.
• 1:24
  Speaker 5: Sweat, sweat, And then I thought I wouldn't want put
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: any sunscreen anywhere else because last time I played jungle Paddle,
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: every single court was under cover.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: And we get there and the only court that's not
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: on the cover is the court that we're on. I know,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: my apologies, bit there's no way of me knowing no,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: And so I actually that afternoon sun is not as harsh.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: No, I didn't get burned.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: The conditions were hot, and to Jake's credit, he beat me.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: We actually went so we're playing a seven and it
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: ended up being eleven nine.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, we've started off.
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: With both of our girlfriends were there, Ben and Cassie,
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: and we started off practicing and then it was Beth
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: and myself Team Jeffany against what was your team name
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: in the end Coddy against Team Coddy, Cassie and Oughty,
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: and we did first. We did three games, obviously first
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: to win two games.
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  Speaker 1: Games weren't a true testament of our skill ability.
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: Team Coddy, to their credit credit, they won the first game.
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: Pretty sure it was eleven nine or something. You guys
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: won the first game, and so then Beth and I
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: came back, we got the second game. We won the
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: second game, and then again we won the third game, and.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: So we went fuck it.
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: We played some singles boys versus boys, girls verse girls,
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: and so we were going to play first to seven
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: so we could play more than one game each. And
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: you got a win by two, and Oddie and I
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: kept on going like back and forth, back and both.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: We had to play up to eleven and I barely won.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I was winning, yeah, I was winning six to three
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: or something, and I'm there to get one point and
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: you came back.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: And it takes it out of you.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I was so tired. Yeah, but I guess I started
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: with that because still eating me up a little bit.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: You had to be the one to let everyone know
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: you're lost. You couldn't let me just say, oh do
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: you fucking love? That's right?
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: I need to assert my dominance.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: But last week, Adi, I hope everyone remembers this as well.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: If you haven't listened to last week's episode, go have
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: a listen. Good episode.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, by the way, if you didn't listen last week,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: we're in Bali recording in a new studio.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we have a better update last week, but we
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: were I'm pretty sure I actually I apologies it was
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: actually a Patroon episode, maybe maybe not.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Five dollars a month extra episode every week book Club.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Early Odi used the word facetious, and sure I was right.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: The context in which Otti used the word facetious was
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: that he used it as if could he He goes
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: he was being confident, and he wanted to use the
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: word cocky, like he said, I don't want to be cocky,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: but instead of saying cocky, he said facetious. He was like, oh,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be facetious, but you know, I'm
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: actually pretty good at.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think facetious means overly confident.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: And I did say to him, I said, is that facetious?
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I was like, is that the right word?
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: And you confidently said?
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, so fair, I'm still confident.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: And so then when I was editing, he came across it,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: and I just thought, fuck it, I'm looking it up.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I'm also lucky for you to come across it, because
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it wasn't in a clippy bit, I.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Don't really come across me.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So I wrote down, I said, he said facetious means
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: overly confident. What facetious really means is treating a serious
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: issue or conversation with humor, often in a way that
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: seems playful or sarcastic. No way, So facetious basically means sarcasm.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: Are there two definitions?
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  Speaker 2: I don't think so it only gave me one. What
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  Speaker 2: I've used facetious, heaps, that's the first time he picked
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: up on a day.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I do think that if you have used it, he
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: you must have been using it in the right context.
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: And then the one time you use it in the
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: wrong context. That's why I questioned it.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Hmm, interesting, baddie. Let me know, I feel like what
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like there could be a
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: different definition somewhere.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: So it means sarcastic.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, facetious, I see that working. I've always thought it
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: meant overly confidence.
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: And so the reason I've heard that I find facetious
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: to be a I feel a word that you would
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: use to impress someone, right, Yeah, you know how sometimes
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: we try to.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: You know, when I brought out, unbeknownst at one time,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: a matter on a matter, what does that mean? I
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: forgot what atomatter pair means, but juxtaposition means to like,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: why am I thinking myself a hole.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: I will give you credit juxtaposition juxtaposition.
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: The time you used it was correct, but so on
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: a matter peer, sorry about the tangent, guys means uh.
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: You know in comic books when they write there'll be
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: a fight scene and they write.
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: Damn or pow.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: That's on a matter per sound effects. Basically, oh interesting,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: how do you know that? Just think about where I
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: just got the answer from.
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: The reason I knew the word was from school, and
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: you dropped out.
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  Speaker 7: I still did yet ten I've done I guess eleven
• 6:22
  Speaker 7: years of schooling, including kindergarten, and also the internet exists
• 6:29
  Speaker 7: and TikTok is out there.
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: You were busy reading comic books bomb.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: So basically, I just wanted to bring up that only
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: got something.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Wrong, and he was confident that it meant that facetious
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: means sarcasm.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Sorry, He's what I was going to get up. So
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: facetious to me is a word that would be used
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: to impress someone. I would use it for that reason.
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: But I and the reason I kind of knew what
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: it meant, and I've questioned your timing of it was
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: my stepmm.
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  Speaker 1: She always brings out these big words and I'm thinking
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  Speaker 1: you grew up, you know, middle class Australia, you know,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: privileged white person, but you're not like royalty. What are
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: you using these big wordscause one time she said to me,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: don't be facetious, and I was being sarcastic and I
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: was like, don't use that word for me.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know what it means.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, interesting, So I need to either pull out some
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: big words in today's episode or some automati pir Whenever
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: you're talking, I'll be like.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Well, use a word in this episode if you can remember.
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: And by the end of the episode, if I haven't
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: picked up on the word you've used, at the end,
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  Speaker 5: I'll be like, did you use a word?
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: You did say?
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  Speaker 1: What? It was?
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Interesting? Okay? That word of the week.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but ig question, let's get straight into the juicy stuff.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: Let's kick things off this week. The question was what
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: made you realize you were better off alone?
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  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: And this one is good in two senses because one,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of he he ha haas, which we.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: Like, but also a little bit deep.
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  Speaker 2: Deep ones. I scrolled past.
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  Speaker 4: I've Got I've Got a little bit of both.
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  Speaker 2: Because the funny ones were making me laugh.
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  Speaker 1: But also insightful for anyone listening, because you might be thinking, like.
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  Speaker 4: Maybe better off alone.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this might spark something. So I have a really
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: good worst one. Okay, what made you realize that you're
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: better off alone?
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Men? Period? Ah, facts fact truth, that is very true.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: What made you realize you were better off alone when
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: you used my toothbrush? Oh?
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: I think one time Beth used mind and I did
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: say to her. I was like, she didn't.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Care without permission.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: She she didn't give a shit. So because we have
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: an electual truth, we switched the heads. She forgot to
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: switch the head, and so she used my toothbrush, and
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Like, what are you doing? You got to switch the head.
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  Speaker 2: She goes, but forgot. It's not that bad.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: Pause.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: You have one toothbrush, and every time we brush your
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: to your teeth, you switch the head.
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  Speaker 5: No, now that we live together, so we both. But
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: then when if she came to mind or I came
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: to hers, we had a toothbrush head.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: That was that person that just stayed at the other
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: person's house. Just bring your toothbrush.
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: And one time she's kind of nice not to have
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: to remember it have a toothbrush. Had to swap out
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: one time she used it when.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I was mad. I was like, no, we don't use
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: her toothbull. She didn't give a fuck. I don't think
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: that's a reason to be better off alone. It depends.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: No, No, I feel she didn't do it on purpose or
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: she didn't think I'm gonna yeah. Yeah. If you just
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: walk in and you're like, oh, what are you doing
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: and they're using your toothbrush, like, oh, yeah, we kissed,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I'll be like step I also think, yeah, it's different.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: I think it's different because I know my teeth get chat.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: It's like some cheesels or something, and like, I don't
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: know what's going on in her mouth.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: She's been int some fish and stuff. I hate that.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I just still for some reason things sharing toothbrush it's gross.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know why. Yeah, I would like to say
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: not validle all so I can see why it is.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: It could be a re in.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: For It's one of those things that when you break
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: up and and people go, oh, give us some.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Tea, like what was weird about it? Yeah, like you
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: always used to use my toothbrush.
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: So gross.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Also, all of these are probably if you don't really
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: love them. It's to be alone. So fair.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, what made you realize you're better off alone?
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Batteries?
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: Oh, I have my vibratory.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I liked the use of just the word batteries. Yeah, okay,
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: some of mine are.
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: Intricate, not really this one. I feel that would make
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: sense pretty easily. What made you realize you're better off alone?
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: I don't want any more kids.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: The way I take this is most men act like children.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, okay. I thought she had like I
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: was thinking, like, you already looks at me. I don't
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: one another dude, step back.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Last night, I think yours makes more sense.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Last night, out of the blue, Beth asked me if
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I still would have been with her if she had
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: a kid like someone else's kid.
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, like she was a single man, would you say?
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: And I thought about it for a second and I can't.
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: And I said, so, let's say we're going a first date. Ah,
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: And she goes, oh, I obviously need to tell you
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: this right after bat I.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Actually have a kid. And I said, maybe it's because
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I've been with her for so long, But I said,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I actually think I would stay, would have kept going.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I think it's right to know before the first date.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I don't think you should be put on the spot.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: And she tells them to be.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Fair, you probably know from Instagram.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think you should be put on the
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: spot first date.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: And by the way, I've got a kid. That's quite
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: a big thing to leave out.
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: I mean, I guess if you don't if you don't
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: know straight away and you tell them the first date,
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: next best thing.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but norm what you've been talking about two three weeks.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I do agree that you should know earlier, make sure
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: they're not a serial killer, and then be like, by
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: the way, I've got a kid, and yeah.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: For protection of your kid.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: But I was thinking about it, and would you if
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: if Cassie had a kid, would you still would you
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: have stayed with it?
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: I know it's like a loaded question, it's very loaded.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I I don't think I'll allow I'll allow the answer.
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: I'll allow what you know now about her and your
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: love for her to also affect your answer.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, if that's the case, then yes.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: But knowing myself, I wouldn't have gone on the first
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: day if she had a kid.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Oh really, I don't know if I would have done.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: It, because I don't I don't think I have the
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: capabilities to be a fucker figure right now. I think
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: the kid would deserve better and I don't want to
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: be in the life if I'm not there completely and
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: my mindset wouldn't be there for the kid. Wait, you
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: know what, that might be a more mature answer. I
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: was just thinking, like where my mind went last night.
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: I was thinking, like Beth, you'd be a milk like
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: But at the same time, I was thinking, you know,
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: I could learn to love the kid.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: But at the same time it was weird.
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: But I could learn to love the kid.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: But I said, I don't have It's terrible analogy, but
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: it's one of the reasons I'm not getting a dog.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I know I could have a dog and be a
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: good dog dad. Yeah, but I don't want to put
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: in the amount of effort that that dog deserves.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it'll be a kid dad.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: But you know what, sure thing anyone's ever said, I
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: hate it when people get dogs.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: I hate it when people get dogs.
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: Someone put in the Henry's Breed Facebook page. They they
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: asked a question, They said, is this breed good for
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: these types of conditions?
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: This person goes, I've got kids, I don't have much time.
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: I could only probably walk it like once or twice
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: a week. Is this dog alright? That's like in the
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: house and shit? And I was thinking, why would you
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: get a dog, like Beth commented, and she goes like,
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: you probably shouldn't get a dog at all.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: And then and then the lay.
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: And then some dog dog walker bitch replies and best
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: comment and goes, no, this isn't right at all. I
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: walk plenty of dogs and only get walked like once
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: twice a week. And Beth was like, that's fine, but
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: if you go into getting a dog, you should.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Have time for it.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, like or if you don't want to put
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: the time in, don't.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Get don't get one y. I think it's funny.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: A lot of people do look at dogs, I would
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: dare say, we just haven't thought about it. And kids
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: very differently, Yeah, like what is entailed to actually being
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: a good father of being a good dog dad or mum?
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Like it's a lot.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've had people tell me which I don't
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: believe by the way, I guess I will be able
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: to experience it one day. But people have said that
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: having a baby dog is more difficult than having a
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: baby child, and I was thinking, what and their reasoning
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: is with a baby dog, you actually can't leave it
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: for the first two weeks because it will funck shit up,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: But with a baby, it can't move. Oh, so you
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: get a break. And I was like still, yeah, I
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: was like, come on, I think Cassie asked me a
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: good question the other day about talking about kids.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: When you have a.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Kid, I can't remember what the exact term was, but
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: will you let it sleep in your bed with you?
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: My kid? Yeah? Like when it's a baby. No, I
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: think I have a cop for it.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I said, Apparently a lot of people let it
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: sleep in their bed. But my reasoning was because I
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: feel like I might roll over him. But I don't
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: think that's the same. I'd have a nap on the lounge,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I'd have an app with it on the bed, but
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I want someone else conscious when it's still there. I
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: don't want both of us out cold.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Is that? I mean?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I have no experience, but I'm pretty sure you're not
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: supposed I don't do that.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Who knows? Apparently some people do. Who knows?
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Who knows? Oh, it's a good one going off what
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: you just said. What made you realize you were better
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: off alone the way he treated his dog. Ah, I
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: love that, Yeah, I actually love that.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You actually you see a guy's true colors or
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: girls the way they treat their dog.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: And I do like to say girls stereotypically do treat
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: them a lot better. Fact, a lot of good dudes
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: out there, but also a lot of average I'll do
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: the bare minimum with my dog.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: That's how he will treat you as well.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Hey, agree, a lot of I think a lot of
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: dudes do get a dog thinking it will be easy.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Oh and then they buy the dog that's cool, not
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: the dog they need. It's not true. They'll by a
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: dog that's like not good for the.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Area, Like people need like a fucking shitsu or like
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: a little little something.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: What was Tilly Jack an mini fox? Yeah, she was
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: chilling a little thing.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: But then they'll go get like a Australian shepherd and
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: they work ten hours, five days a week and they
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: can't do anything, yeah because it's healthy or something.
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: Well, like people will get crazy ass dogs. People will
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: get hunting dogs. Yeah, and there'll just be a house
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: dog and they'll go out maybe once a day, and
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: its like, bro, they need to fucking live outside.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: That's insane.
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: I do feel bad for a lot, like dogs that
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: are stuck inside that I should be out. Okay, what
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: made you realize you would be better off alone? When
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: he started to ship with the bathroom door open?
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Do you do that? But that's something you don't do. No.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: I always close it, but Beth is not scared to
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: come open it and ask me a question.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like clo and you think I've I've
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: been in there, You've had a shit.
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: Our villa doesn't have a door in the bathroom, and
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: the bathroom's in the bedroom.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: I noticed that. Do you have a toilet downstairs?
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: No?
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: One toilet.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what anyone who thinks their relationship is
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: like ten out of ten The perfect test is to
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: come to Bali, get the wibbly warbles in your stomach,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: and because your shit probably two to three times more
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: in Bali than you meant to, and they always stink
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: now and you have less control, like less time to
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: be sexy. And that's a real testament to all the
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: relationships out there. The good thing we did it like unintentionally.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: We got a villa with two bedrooms and two bathrooms.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Best decision. Yeah, I haven't think Cassie enjoys it more
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, because she has her own bathroom and
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: I have my own. Next time, Beth, and I'm one
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: hundred sexy, I was.
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: I was kind of thinking, if anything, I want to
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: beds because then we can if we want to sleep
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: in a different room.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: But the King bed has been amazing.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, have you been using the You have one of
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: those round pillows, no putting it in between you two.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: That's the best thing ever. Man, I've got two of you, maybe,
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: but four of my four.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Baw More importantly is you need to fucking tis because
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: especially think about this, what if you both get barley belly?
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, what.
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: If you're gonna have just squat in the shower if
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: you only have one toilet.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: The thing about girls and Cassie as well, is it's
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: common for us to ship a lot as men. But
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: she's had a bit of the whibbli wobblies, like something's big.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: She had some drugs like and she hasn't had the
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: best stomach pharmaceutical pharmaceutical drugs. But anyway, her being a
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: girl and not just shitting like once a day. She
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: loves to tell me all the ship she does?
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Oh really said this?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: One was like no, no, She's just like she's like,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I went this morning before you woke up.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: I was like, she's like I had to go already.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: And I was like, this is my day to day life,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know, why do you think this is amazing?
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: It is funny.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I made I'll easily do two a day. Oh
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: yeah to a day. I was here, I'm doing. I
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: think I did two this morning because last night I
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: had pizza then cookies, and I was like, we're trying
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: to create our own. When you've gotta go, you gotta go,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: stories go.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: It's funny sometimes lately, ever since we started doing confession sessions,
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: or no, not ever since, because we've been doing for
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: a while. But sometimes if I feel a turd coming on,
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: I will go do something where I'm not near a toilet,
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: just in case I get a story out of.
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah for the pot.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: It hasn't happened yet. I went and got a massage
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: last night. Yeah, lucky. I was relaxed. Nothing happened. Being
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: relaxed is worse.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: There's a few farts when she was robbing in my palmer.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Actually I didn't far, but like I had, Oh, it's
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: the cheeks.
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: I was thinking about. What's the worst things doing to
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: get in a massage? Probably the hiccups?
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that or fighting. Fighting is worse, more embarrassing.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he has to just make it worse for yourself,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: but not for the person giving it all. Right, Okay,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: what made you realize you're better off alone? I can
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: make myself come every single time?
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Hey. Hey,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: no one knows your own body better than.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: H Here's the thing, though, so she can make herself
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: come every single time, but she can also make him
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: come every single time.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: So he's got power in both ways. Yeah, damn, damn.
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: What made you realize that you are better off alone? Oh,
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: this one's actually deep. I would rather be on my
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: own than be with someone who makes me feel lonely.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Oh that is deep. So when you're with him you
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: feel alone? Yeah, you just feel like fuck, he's not
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: of an air.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Very disignored. Yeah.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: I feel like there would be a lot of distant
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: men who like well, it comes back to like men
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: and bad listeners that don't engage in conversations, that don't
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: ask any questions about their partner.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: The list goes on and on. That is a bit sad.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: What made you realize you were better off alone? When
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I realized I wore the pants in the relationship and
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: felt like his mum, I was going to say, if
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: there was no mum part I kind of thought wearing
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: the pants, I feel like Beth wears appearance. Okay, we
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: argue who wears the pants in mind? Really?
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my rebuttal with I take your pants off? You
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: should one time when you're about.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: To obviously you know, get into it. Yeah, you're still clothed.
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: You take her pants off, right, and then pull a
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: Cassian as you pull a Cassian and you leave, and
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: you go, who's wearing the pants now?
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: And then you walk away? She would be perplexed. Day No,
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I feel like Beth wears the pants.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: But ah, there's times where I can tell she doesn't
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: want to.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, you know what I mean. I'm gonna want
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: to be baby. I'm going to pause right here. I
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: just did it and you didn't realize that was my word.
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: Of the week.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Plex I told you to use it.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I said use it more than like multiple times, and
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: by the end, tell me because if you were way
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: too happy if I didn't want to once you to
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: realize I got away, but you didn't even blink. I
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: thought of it was like perplex'd ah, but what does
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: that say about you?
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I put you on a high enough pedestal to think
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: you would use that. Yeah.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: My immediate thought when you said to use like a
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: big word, my vocavery, I was like, I don't have any.
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: Clearly because if you just trying to pronounce it vocabulary,
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: okay you uh yeah, go what made you realize you're
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: better off alone?
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: My skin got clearer?
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Had one like that? Way?
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: Was it?
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Imagine you have shitty skin while dating a man.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: And you break the cortisol my when my acne breakout
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: stopped after we broke out.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: That's in broken up. Yeah, that is insane. Oh yeah,
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: you wouldn't want to date a man ever again.
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: Though to be fair, you would be like, oh, it
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: must just be men in general, but it would just be.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like when you eat bad food and you
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: get a pimple. Is that the right analogy?
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: No, it's like when you get about a hangover from
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: one drink.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're like, I'm not touching that ever again.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it takes you to.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: Be fair blessing in disguise.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: We learned the other week, like you realize when do
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: you realize, like something is better than men?
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Like when I tried with it?
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta say you remember I can only.
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: Pineapple juice and what you can only want? No, I
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: couldn't drink. You want a real bad hangover? Once a
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: pineapple vogkas from like voga pineapple and I think it
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: was like a vogas sunrise as well, you know, I
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: remember that is sugar and we go and.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: That was the worst hangover we've ever had in our lives.
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: And I can only now think about drinking pineapple juice
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: and be like, yeah, that would be good.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Did you have what was that thing?
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: I'd never tried it, and I wanted to try because I
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: didn't drink when I was like a young adult. And
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: they're like six bucks and they come on like a
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: leader thing.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Fat lamb, fat lambs. You know we had them.
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: You had it as well.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: Remember that that contributed to the hangover. Fat lambs are gross.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Describe a fat lamb to anyone who's in Australia. Okay.
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: Fat lambs are at about eight dollars and they have
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: about eight standard drinks in them, and it's like a
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: leader and it just tastes kind of like like a
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: mixture of soft drink insider, and you drink them before
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: you go out, because.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, easy.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: What most people did when we were like sixteen eighteen
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: was by one of them because you were sorted. And
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I never had my drinking phase when I was that age.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: So when we were traveling out the eas coast of Australia,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I was like, I've never had a fat Lamb before
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I saw them.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: We got two weeks and I was like, I want
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: to give it a go. We got two each.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: We drank two fat Lambs at a campsite and then
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: we went out in airly beats.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: That's so embarrassing because we were trying to save money.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Well that was wild.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we were, Yeah, that was why.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: We bought them.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's hilarious. Okay, what made you realize you were
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: better off alone? Planning my schedule just to avoid.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: Himse that's heavy. That's when you know you should just
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: that's heavy.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: Holy shit.
• 25:07
  Speaker 5: I couldn't imagine coming to like, I couldn't imagine my
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: conscious brain realizing what I'm doing. And then being like,
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: oh my god, I hate this fucking person. Yeah, and
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: men they're oblivious too, so they wouldn't catch on at all. No,
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: he'd just be thinking, like, you know, free time. He'd
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: be thinking like, oh, you're busy, busy, that's hot. Yeah,
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: what made you realize you're better off alone?
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: When he walked like a clown? Gave me the yck.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Like feet out. I've been trying to ride my Bucky
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: like that a little bit. I've seen like Indonesians do.
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: It's kind of cool.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I've been trying to go kind of like legs straight,
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: slightly bent, and I kind of like reaching for the handlebars.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: And feel like I'm on like a Holly.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: I like the really leaning into the.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I like to let their cross breathe a little bit.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Gets hot in Indonesia.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: This is my last one. What made you realized you
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: were better off a loan? I found out he was
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: gluten intolerant. Damn, pick that one for you, sir.
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: I gotta say I think I definitely am because when
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: I was at home doing that low for MAP, I've
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: been eating whatever I want here obviously, when I was
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: doing low FORMAP at home. The fact that it was
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: being like I was helping me out and I was
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: doing like one shit a day, barely having to wipe.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, the amount of times we can
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: bring shit back to talking about ship?
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Well, you think it's relatable. Everyone everyone does it once
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: a day at least. And the good thing about being
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: here is you have time to be on the toilet.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: It's great.
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: Okay, I think I have like three more. What made
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: you realize you're better off alone? All the married men
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: in my dms?
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Are you going to take the bait?
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: That's crazy?
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: Oh no, I get that. Sorry, I get that wrong.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: Would you think of men you're going to take the bait? Yeah?
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: I don't know. So that means like, oh, do you
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: think it was a scamming thing?
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: No?
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: No, no, I just don't worry. Ah. I don't know,
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: but I get it. I get it.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: Guy.
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: What made you realize you but that you're better off alone?
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: I can wear heels now?
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: He was a short king. Give Beth wear heels with you.
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: I have to wear my dogs, have to wear my dogs.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I'm the high end of five eleven. She's five nine.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: She thinks she's five ten, five nine. Okay, idiot, what
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: made you realize that you're better off alone.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: When I saw what his dad looked like.
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: Oh, you don't know.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: You don't know which gene he got.
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: It's a mixture of both.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: My therapist put me on a man band.
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: Oh can I do that?
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, hey, a therapist prescribes no more men. I
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: feel like that's legal.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's getting too personal. But it's out
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: like a full prescription that says no more man. Imagine
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: that no more willies for you. Okay, baddies, it is
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: time for the next segment, which is Field versus Field.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I've been loving this week three, we got ghosting versus communication.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: All right, regular apps, mid chat.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: Poof did they die? Get busy? Who knows? On Field?
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Not a match, but you seem cool. Adults using their
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: words love to see that.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Fields built for honest, open connections, one person, multiple people, whatever.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Find your friends, just moved, recovering from a friend breakup.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: Field can confirm that it's possible to find friends in adulthood.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: Filter your search by desire and find the people who
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: want real platonic love. Download Field and match with people
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: who actually reply. Link is in the description badd is
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: If you want to sign up to field.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: It's at the.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Top one.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Baddies time for dilemmas.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Actually, there was some fucking juicy ones. I'm not gonna lie,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: but we're gotta help this bati out.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, how could they submit a dilemma if they
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: want to joke?
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Ah?
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: Sorry? How could I forget?
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: It's either in the Lincoln the description of this episode,
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: or it is in the link of the description in
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: our bio and you scroll down, click on dilemmas, you
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: submit a dilemma. It's all anonymous, even though we ask
• 29:42
  Speaker 5: if it wants to be anonymous or not, it's all
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: anonymous regardless. We'll just be nice, Okay, Hi, Ja Canotti.
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: I've been a listener for a couple of years now,
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: and I love the podcast. I am in urgent need
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: of advice, Okay. I am a twenty two year old
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: female in a three and a half year relation ship
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: with a twenty two year old male, and essentially, I
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: don't know if this relationship is the one for me
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: right now. I am so stuck because I genuinely do
• 30:09
  Speaker 5: love this man so much. In mid July, we sat
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: down to chat and he brought up a bunch of
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: things He didn't like about our relationship, basically suggesting if
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: these things didn't change, then we would break up. Long
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: story short, the dynamic was off. He felt like I
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: was judgy and.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: Not so very supportive of his decisions, and gave me
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: fair examples which I did agree with, eg. Pulling a
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: face when he said he was going to go mid
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: week drinking with his mates.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: For context.
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: He would previously just do whatever I suggested and has
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: never brought up concerns within the whole three years. We
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: resolved this by writing down our non negotiables within our relationship,
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: since obviously they have changed a lot since we were eighteen.
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: We were both really happy with this outcome, and I
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: do have to say it feels like a new relationship.
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: Since this, I have been on and off very anxious
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: about if he is going to end it with me.
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: I spiral over little things and often jump to the
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: conclusion that he's going to break up with me or
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: we just aren't meant for each other. I feel that
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: these thoughts are unreasonable and just because of the change
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: of dynamic, maybe because I am in less control question mark.
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: But there are other things that make me feel like
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: I am underappreciated I constantly have to follow up with
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: him to organize if we will have dinner at my place.
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: Uses the excuse that he's tired, which he usually is
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: for not engaging in conversation or not coming over always
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: gives me logical solutions if I am being emotional. I
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: have talked to him about all these things, but I
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: think he takes it as criticism and I just don't
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: know how to bring it up now, obviously because I
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: am now very anxious. Please help me understand if I'm
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: being all in my head and how to bring these
• 31:55
  Speaker 5: up in a way that will resonate with an introverted
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: man who needs is alone time. I am the exact opposite,
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: especially the logical solutions thing.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: I'm begging you. Love you both, and thank you. Oh
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: this is very very actually, but I thought I was
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: going to be giving advice.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: I thought she was going to be like, how do
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I break up this man? But she wants to stay.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: That would have been waysier so initially. So the foundations
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: of a relationship to me are two things. One is trust,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: which they still have.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: The other thing is love, and love is shown in
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: quite a lot of ways, and you're still saying it
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: to each other. But I feel like this relationship has
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: lost the unspoken love and she doesn't feel it when
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: it's like not said, And whenever there's any type of
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: controversy or arguments or even when nothing's there, she goes
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: to fight or flight, which is fair because she's lost
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: the underlying love feeling they give someone reassurance in a relationship.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: It's hard, Okay, I mean I got.
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: Like a couple of things, so it heaps the breakdown
• 33:05
  Speaker 5: here going writing down all the things that you don't
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: like in your relationship.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, hey, I guess it's communication.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: I would love to see that list.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because if the if, like if the main thing
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: on his list is that he doesn't like the faces
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: you pull because he the decisions he makes like and
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: that decision, the main one that she put.
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: In that decision being the fact that she doesn't really
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: like it. If he goes midweek drinking with his mates, Yeah,
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: I also would probably if every week birth went midweek drinking,
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: if I saw it like affecting her life, I would
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: also be like, why are you doing this?
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: And there's not quite enough information to give a proper
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: answer to this, But so he breaks every scenario down
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: when she's emotional with logic, which makes sense, but to
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: me it sounded controlling. Yeah, and so she always worse,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: so she and I can't give her a proper answer. No, no,
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: And she also in there was saying like, I'm now
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: quite anxious, and she's questioning whether or not it's because
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: she feels maybe she has lost control, like he used
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: to just go along with everything that she said. He
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: was a yes man, and now he's not a yes.
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: Man, so she might be it could be a valid
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: question that her saying like, am I anxious because I
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: have lost control?
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: And here's the thing right now, it's unfortunate.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: This is not keeping in mind the fact that you're
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: worried about bringing stuff up now because he's going to
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: break it down logically and what's the word, what's it
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: called when you kind of don't care about the feelings
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: of the person that's bringing something up. Undermine, Yeah, he
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: undermines your feelings by breaking it down logically and making
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: you feel stupid, which is insane. But I think everything
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: that's like said to us, right, I don't think it's
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: crazy to confide in.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Some wa one this way for advice, but also.
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: Like confide in him, and it's a really hard thing
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: to do because you're gonna be scared to get shut down.
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: But it's like if you stand on business and you
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: confide in him and then he's like, well, let's break
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: this down logically, you can say no, no, no, let's
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: not break it down logically, because every time you do that,
• 35:23
  Speaker 5: you do it to undermine my feelings.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: And then it's like then you can go. You be like,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: I feel like you don't care about my feelings, Like.
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you how I feel every time you break
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: it down logically and make me feel like an idiot,
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: Like that's not nice.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: I completely agree, because emotions aren't logical either. No, Like
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: I think there's juxtaposition between is that the next her
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: emotions and his coping mechanisms because there's two contradicting actions,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: and his solution to your emotions don't work. No, Like
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: you can't see if I come to you crying like
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: way crying, I'm like, I just feel sad.
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: Well, like you.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: Shouldn't feel sad. The sun's out, yeah, and.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: You have you have a good job, BALLEI. Yeah, yeah,
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: like you're really had to feel sad. Yeah, I'd be
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: like dude, I'm fucking crying. Man, let me cry and
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: discomfort me, give me a hug, don't tell me I'm irrational.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, fuck off. I feel like he's he's
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: got this. He's figured out a way in a sense
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: to get you to stop crying, yeah, or just to
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: get you to yeah yeah, or stop stop being emotional,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: which isn't fair on you by anybody.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: It's done, is made you try and bury them. You're anxious,
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: and it.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Makes you anxious. So I don't think it's fair by
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: any means, And there's not enough information there, but to
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: give him the benefit of the doubt, he might do it,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: be doing it not on purpose unconsciously, he might just
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: be doing it.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: He thinks that's how he can help because he fixes
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: the problem right there as it is, which is what
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: men do. I've definitely been guilty of like trying to
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: do that, whereas like the problem is underlying and a
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: lot more than the surface level what he sees Like
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I've been guilty of that.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: Why do you want to have again?
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: Because she genuinely loves this man. Okay, it's been three
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: and a half years. I would like if they've grown
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: a lot update on this one. More information of how
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: he's breaking it down. I want to see if he's
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: actually controlling and then also why do you love him?
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: You know what, even though it was a long dilemma,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: I would like more info as well.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but like everything from what we heard, what does
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: she want help with at the end?
• 37:21
  Speaker 5: Please help me understand if I'm being all in my
• 37:23
  Speaker 5: head and how to bring these up in a way
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: that will resonate with an introverted man who needs alone time.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, so it's not all you're giving him too much
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: benefit of the down there, Yeah, and an introverted.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: Man who needs his alone.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Just because you're an introverted man that needs his alone
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: time doesn't mean you need to be a dick. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: My dilemma is going to be really good going off this.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: But.
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, too much benefit of the doubt.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: I think my advice would be put your foot down
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: with girl. What made you realize you need better be off? Sorry?
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: What made you realize that you'd be better off alone?
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: Put your foot down on business because how you feel
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: is valid and logical solutions aren't the answer all the time,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: and the way to move past this relationship is to
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: voice your emotions to him and see if it fixes
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: your anxiety if he changes his actions. Also, she was like,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: I always have to ask him, when's he going to
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: organize a dinner?
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: Or are you going to come to my place? Or
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: are we going to go to your place? Right?
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: And he's like, I'm too tired. Were you too tired
• 38:28
  Speaker 5: when you went out drinking midweek with your friends?
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Fuck you.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Normally we want to say is like, normally what we
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: want to say is breakup. But you haven't given us
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: enough information to say breakup, so give us some more.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: But also you might be able to tell us why
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: this guy is a good guy. Yeah, okay, intermission guy, right,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: hold up, we need a title for the dilemma of this,
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: a specific title. Okay, okay, okay, okay, update mine, I got,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I gotta, I got My introverted boyfriend is too logical.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: That's the title of your next dilemma.
• 39:01
  Speaker 5: Okay, keep in mind, please, and then we will be
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: looking for it each week.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Will you get this? He's like a Vulcan from Star Trek.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: So a vulcan.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: They are like the geniuses of that universe, correct sort of?
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: They operate on logic yeah, and they don't have emotions. Yeah,
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: everything everything that's spock. Yeah, yeah, point is yeah.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Can you do that? I can't do it?
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: Or you can do it.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: You're a vulcan. Maybe this girl's boyfriend is a vulcan.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: He might be the only alien on planet. Check his ear.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: But intermission, guys, before we get onto my dilemma. If
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: you want more of all of this, it's on Patreon
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: for five dollars a month's cheap as chips, and that's
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: a u D so if you're in other countries, it's
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: basically free, guys. And you also get the book club
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: five days early, and we're doing reacts. We got all
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: the summer I turned pretty finales over there. Yeah, I
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: mean hey, also we need to start watching another show.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're thinking about Bridgeton. How many seasons is out?
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: You know what's hard these things is trying to catch up.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: The hard thing is copyright.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: Actually yeah that is true, but patron Yeah no copyright. Yeah,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: but guys, my dilemma. We didn't plan this, but extremely fitting. Okay, Hi,
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Mummy and daddy. I have a relationship dilemma. I am
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: really struggling with I have been with my boyfriend for
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: over a year and really feel like he is the one.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: He said it, I think it, Both our friends and
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: family think it. However, this last week he has said
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: he's struggling mentally and just wants to isolate himself to
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: get through it. I want to respect him and give
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: him the space, but he no longer replies to my
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: I love you, can't reassure me that he's not questioning
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: the relationship and refuses to see me. The first few
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: days of this, I sent him the odd message saying
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: I'm there for him and I love him. I asked
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: to see him once, but just got turned down. I
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: have not messaged him for four days now, and it's
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: killing me. Crying myself to sleep, too nauseous to eat,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: and can't concentrate at work. My dilemma is, is it
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: normal for men to isolate themselves, even from those who
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: love them, when they are really when they are really struggling.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Or does it sound like he's done with a relationship.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: You have to work up with him instantly. Yeah, that's insane.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's that's the most. That's so selfish.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: It's very selfish, and it's hard. It's very hard for
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: you to be in this position because your boyfriend is
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: probably going through something and I don't want to take
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: that away from him, But he doesn't have any of
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: the tools mentally or emotionally to deal with it with
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: a partner in his life, slash, deal with it in general.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: If he's acting this.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Way, I mean, I I don't know.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: I think it's.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know about the tools. Thing Like,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: he has a girlfriend, All right, you're allowed to go
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: through tough mental times, but to completely like you're under
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: sound allowed to go through tough mental times, right, but
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: to isolate yourself not message no more, I love you
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: is can't reassure her that he's not rethinking the relationship.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Like oh I say that.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I just think, like I think saying that he doesn't
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: have the tools for something is giving him the benefit
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: of the doubt, and like almost would make the girl
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: that's going through Like I personally think, even if he's
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: going through a mental battle right now, I think that
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: there is ways to handle it selfishly, and there's ways
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: to handle it not selfishly, And right now he's handling
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: this in a way where he doesn't give a fuck
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: about her at all.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: That's what I personally.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Think I agree with what you're saying. I think they
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: should break up, and it's not fair by anyone. But
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I'm giving an explanation to Like I'm not giving him
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: a benefit of doubt, but like, what do you say
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: at the end of then, Like, I just think that
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: it's fucking super so selfish. Yeah, he doesn't see it
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: selfish because he doesn't have the emotional intelligence or mental
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: intelligence to deal with these issues.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: And that's and that's a reason to break up. Yeah,
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: that's what I agree, it's breaking up. But he doesn't
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: He wouldn't see that there's a problem here at all. Yeah,
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: Like he's just in his own head. Yeah, you're right,
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: he wouldn't see a problem. That's the problem.
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the problem.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: He's in his own head doing whatever he's thinking is right,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: which is not right by anyone. And he doesn't have
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: the capability to have anyone else in his life. And yeah,
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: basically all of his actions have shown that he's not
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: ready to be in a relationship fu fact, because it's
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: not it's not fair on you, it's not fair on anyone.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: And it's hard because you love this man and everyone
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: else thinks you're a great couple, but you can't be
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: treated this way.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know. I feel like.
• 44:02
  Speaker 5: Even if someone died, granted, you're gonna want to have
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: some alone time.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: But there's things that she said that's like I can't
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: wrap my head around that. There's times where yes, you
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: will want alone time, but also you have to remember
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: you are in a relationship Like that to me is insane. Yeah,
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: it's And also how your feeling is completely valid and
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: he's put you.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: He's cornered you kind of.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: It's kind of yeah, and like and you're the bad
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: person if you leave, yeah, giving you no options.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Also because if he's going through a tough time and
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: you break up with him, you're like, oh, I'm a
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: bad person, which is not because he treated you terribly.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: We will reassure you that you're not the bad person
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: if you leave, because he is currently being the bat
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: And like I suppose, I guess the step before a
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: breakup is how could someone who's going through a tough
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: time stay in a relationship and deal with what they're
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: going through while still doing their past or giving the
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: counterpart reassurance Because she could she could go to this
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: guy and say, hey, I know you're going through a
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: tough time. This isn't on this is what should be done,
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: because I understand I want to support you.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: But if you don't do this, yeah, I don't know.
• 45:14
  Speaker 5: I feel like she can't give him the answer. I
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: think it's got to be one of those cases maybe
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: where she says, so this like right, like literally x
• 45:22
  Speaker 5: YZ is what has been going down. Here is reason one, two, three, four, five.
• 45:27
  Speaker 5: However many you've got right of why. It makes me
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: feel like shit, and it's valid that I feel like shit,
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: all right.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: I just want to let you know. I feel like
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: I've said this is someone before to give advice. I
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: just want let you know that that's not how I'm
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: going to live my life. So it's up to you,
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: Like you have to remember, we're in a relationship. I'm
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: not being selfish here. I do want to help you.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: I've told you I want to help you, right, But
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: you need to make a decision. Literally he needs to
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: make a decision, or she does she needs to break
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: up with him, or yeah agreed, Yeah, and but okay, dilemma,
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: that dilemma over, how can someone who's going through a
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: tough time still maintain their their started the relationship and
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: communication when they are going through a tough time, because
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: communication just this guy's decided to He goes, I'm going
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: through a tough time, and then he's like, word for word,
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: says the worst way to deal with going through a
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: tough time, I want to isolate myself. That's insane. He
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: stuck with his own thoughts. If you went through a
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: tough time and then you want to isolate yourself, that's
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: fucked up. Apologies you feel that way, but communicate. It's
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: also I feel like a relatable feeling is you feel
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: it's your responsibility to help him get better.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: But it's a good point.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: But his responsibility to be in a relationship he's just
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: completely forgot about.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's crazy.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's crazy when feelings are involved here.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's two men were very stiffy with very stereotypical
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: type responses of being in relationships and when they have
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: to deal with emotions.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: I just don't know what this guy expects you to do?
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: How long does he need? Like?
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: And also when he's better, is he just going to
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: be better and never tell you what he.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: Was going through? Yeah? What? Yeah? Is he just going
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: to go back to the way it was, Like, it's crazy.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: I also think this is a great dilemma to talk
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: to your parents about. Yeah, you're crying yourself to sleep. Yeah,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: Like if you go to your mom or dad and
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: tell them this, they would be like, what the fuck. Yeah,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: this is not Yeah, no one should treat my daughter
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: this way.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: It's fucking crazy. Yeah, it's not fair. Fair enough. He
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: was a good bloke before, but he's not right now.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, just because he was a good bloke,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: don't don't hit him with like the just because someone's
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: a good bloke once, Yeah, I mean they're allowed to
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: be a.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: Bad bloke exactly.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: You get to have better for the doubt for that.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: Baddie's up next is comments.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: If you want to get your comment, read comment on
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: today's episode and we might to it the following week. Yeah,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: whatever platform you're on, either Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: I've got Spotify today. And I also want to say
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: there was a lot of really nice comments in relation
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: to my problem on last week's episode about potentially losing
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: a friendship, and I appreciate everyone's input. And I'm going
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: to start with this one from soap about Otdie's dilemma.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: I think you guys are on the absolute right track
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: with how you want to handle it. I think the
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: biggest thing that I consider in situations like this is
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: the pattern of the behavior. It sounds like this type
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: of behavior is a pattern where the person is consistently
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: not a good friend or not understanding and not showing
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: up physically and emotionally for you. To me, that's enough
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: to take a step back from the relationship because it's
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: no longer fulfilling me.
• 48:48
  Speaker 5: Fair or from Keeley McAllister, I think, fuck that reaching
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: out and forgiving reason, reaching out, forgiving internship friends, she
• 49:03
  Speaker 5: say not do it. I wanted to see if it
• 49:05
  Speaker 5: was always me reaching out to one of my closest friends.
• 49:08
  Speaker 5: So I distanced myself over the last few weeks to
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: see if she'd make plans. We go to the gym
• 49:13
  Speaker 5: together a couple of times a week. Two and I
• 49:15
  Speaker 5: haven't heard from her in two weeks. She also just
• 49:19
  Speaker 5: went through a breakup a couple months ago, and I
• 49:22
  Speaker 5: felt like I had been pushed to the side once
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: she'd healed, which was harsh reality to realize. And hey,
• 49:30
  Speaker 5: maybe she will reach out eventually, but the balls in her.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: Court, So I think leave it and leave the ball
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: in his court, or let Jake reach out and let
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: him know what the deal is, so when he knows
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: what's wrong and he can either reach out and reconcile,
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: or if he doesn't have the clue, I don't think
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: I should reach out personally. I saw a few that
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: said Jake should tell him how it is. I honestly,
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: I don't think I should eate.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: I've come Did you have one more about it or not?
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know I have one more.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was think because I thought about it, I
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: was gonna come to the conclusion that I'm not going
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: to do anything, okay, And the reason being is because
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: after this, unless he does reach out, I'm not thinking
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not thinking about him fair I'm just not
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: thinking about it at all. And I think what resonated
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: with me was the pattern.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: There's been a lot of things that I've looked past
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: and reassessing the relationship now that I see it for
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: what it is and I just don't need it in
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: my life, and me reaching out I could get a
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: little bit of closure. I guess I've got closure on
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: my own terms.
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: I don't do anything.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: Give a fuck, yeah, like that what it is, or
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: you gave a fuck. But at the end of the day,
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: I do think also where our lives are heading. Not
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: saying his direction is bad by any means they're in
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: two very different directions and we're starting to see that
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: we don't align. And also that's not just him, it's
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: also our friendship group. Yeah yeah, well yeah, we just
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: we're different to all the friend We don't like the
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: same things, we don't have the same morals, we don't
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: see things the same way. No, which she is fair enough,
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: and I think I didn't want to accept that because
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: he was such a close mate. And I was talking
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: to Cassy about it, my girlfriend, and she's she said
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: to me, like, because she's met some of our friends,
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: she's guys, like, you don't really have much in comment
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: with your friends, And I was like, I used to.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, I guess we could probably start saying old friends. Yeah,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: like unfortunately, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly, and we just don't
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: like any of the same things at all at all.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I would agree, I would definitely, I would definitely agree.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: It's hard. Yeah, because I thought about it, I was like, I.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: Was like, should I say something, and then I thought, well,
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: I suppose it's not really like my thing, and so
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: then I was thinking so personally because of it, I'm
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: not going to reach out to him for anything at all,
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: But if he was to like reach out to me,
• 51:59
  Speaker 5: I'll walk to him. But like, I'm not going to
• 52:03
  Speaker 5: do any reaching out to him. The only time I
• 52:04
  Speaker 5: would say something is if he if he asked me,
• 52:07
  Speaker 5: if he's like he's already mad at me, I'd be like,
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: are you fucking dumb? Obviously, or actually i'd be like,
• 52:13
  Speaker 5: well he's not anymore because you're a fucking ship bloke,
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: Like I would tell him.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: Then if he It was kind of like nailing the
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: coffin the other day. I love being able to turn
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: on the pod because none of our friends listened to
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: the po He called Jake the other day wanting something,
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: and I was like, you're a fucking kidding. He just
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: wanted something out of him.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: He wanted something.
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: I mean, to be fair, like we chatted, but he
• 52:36
  Speaker 5: wouldn't have called me just to he wanted. He's asking
• 52:39
  Speaker 5: about his friends moving into somewhere that that I used.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: To live, and I was like, no, it's not an available.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: My cousin lives. All right, next comment, Lion Tess, Jake,
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: come on.
• 52:56
  Speaker 4: Wash your hand.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: I was just gonna say my next comment is wash
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: your hands, Jake.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: Period seven, like seven, like everybody podcast, listen, thanks for
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: what we recorded that episode, and I'm all like, standing
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: on business.
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not afraid to be who I am. All right,
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I don't wash my hands when I
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: piss in a public place or usually even at home.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: All Right, I don't give a fuck. We getting adies like, Jake,
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: your GROCERYR toxic, Your GROCERR toxic. We get in the cardigo,
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: get lunch. After that, he goes, I don't wash my
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: hands either. I was like, what the fuck? Bullshit all
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: the time. I also do it some.
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: I don't do it in Bali though.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: In Bali it's hand sanitizer. Yeah, I'd prefer not to
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: touch anything.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: No, but it's like after everything hand you.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: Got really passionate about it. I'm just gonna I was like,
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna kicking this.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, but it is time for the baddie sign off,
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: and with us being in Bali, we can't call an
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: of you lovely baddies, but we do have a baddie
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: in the studio with us.
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, three three.
• 54:08
  Speaker 5: Okay, last week we tried and we failed to be fair.
• 54:13
  Speaker 5: Our eyes were too big for a tommy now one three?
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: Can you please tell us how to say relatables? Baddies
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: unite in Indonesian.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: United in.
• 54:37
  Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, okay, Relative in Indonesia means.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: Wait, is there no translation?
• 54:53
  Speaker 6: Is that's why?
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: This is why? That's why?
• 54:59
  Speaker 6: Is it?
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: It is?
• 55:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's weird.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: But what about let's just go relatables? Yeah, just relatables.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: That's why?
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we are why?
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: This is why?
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: I love that perfect. I like that. At least you
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: know how to say our podcast now.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: And I think we'll try ye why, and we'll try
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: and add to it each week from now on. Okay, now,
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: I actually just want to how do you say I
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: love you?
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: That's a good one. Yeah, so we can say to
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: our girlfriends, I love you and.
• 55:37
  Speaker 6: A cool cool it means I love China's see, I
• 55:47
  Speaker 6: am the a coul Chinta. Yeah, come come, it's me
• 55:51
  Speaker 6: and you.
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: Okay chinta cam.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah there you go au Chinta come oo.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll cool you come let's go. Thank you very much. Three,
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: we love you. Ald Baddies, stay bad,