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What could happen if you ever decide to confront a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about what could happen if when
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  you confront A narcissist. How did you feel that I said
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  that? Did you?
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  Did you? Did you get a little anxious?
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  Is the anxiety? Perk up a little bit if you're
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  new here. My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yeah, so I know a lot of y'all. A lot of people ask me about
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  videos and ideas and stuff like that.
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  Like, Lee, what are you coming with your video ideas?
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  Y'all literally, when I'm doing one-on-one, some people over
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  zoom and I'm talking to people a lot about a lot of my ideas come
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  from being inspired by the people that I speak with.
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  Come from y'all, you know, you inspire me.
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  You make me tap into a different part of my brain.
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  But this one right here, it was like, I've never did a video
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  about confrontation like a woman talked to me the other day.
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  She's like, I I had to confront my narcissistic partner and it
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  did not go well. And I was just like, yeah, I
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  need to do. I haven't done a video on that.
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  Because when you confront A narcissist, like, especially
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  when you have the truth, like when the when the truth is on
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  your side. Not, not.
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  You know when the truth, the the the undeniable truth is on your
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  side and you confront them. There's a few different ways
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  that a narcissist could react, right.
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  One of the ways that they could react is by just ignoring you.
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  Some of them will ignore you. They'll Stonewall you.
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  They'll give you the silent treatment, Pretend you don't
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  exist. Pretend what you said doesn't
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  matter. You know, to act like you're
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  overreacting, to make it seem like you're making a big deal
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  out of nothing. Like you just don't have all the
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  facts on your side. Even if you do have facts, even
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  if you do have proof, even if you do have all the stuff that
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  you need to make this person out to be a bad person, the bad
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  person that they are, this could be like, it doesn't matter.
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  Yeah, I'm just telling you they can ignore you.
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  They can make it seem like your proof is meaningless.
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  Like you don't. I don't care.
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  What you have is not enough to prove, is not enough to prove
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  anything. But I don't care who you are,
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  what you have going on, like in this space, right here, in this
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  mindset and in this mentality, it doesn't matter.
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  What are you going to do if you confront them, they would act
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  like your confrontation, your proof, your evidence, doesn't
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  matter. What are you going to do about
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  it? Some of them will challenge you.
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  Will you confront them? What are you going to do about
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  it? You have the proof.
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  You see me clapping these other cheeks.
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  You see me doing this other stuff.
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  You see me stealing, You see me using, You see me dragging
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  again. What are you going to do about
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  it? I know I promised I wouldn't.
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  I promised I wouldn't do it again.
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  I told you I was done with them. I told you I was done with her.
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  I told you I was done with it. What are you going to do about
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  it? How are you going to hold me
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  accountable? Because a lot of narcissistic
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  people, right, set themselves up.
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  So it's damn near is extremely difficult to hold that person
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  accountable, right? It's extremely it can be
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  extremely difficult to hold them accountable in any way, shape or
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  form. So they'll challenge you if you
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  confront them. They will just literally look
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  you directly in your face and challenge you.
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  Like, what are you going to do about it?
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  So what? You have proof.
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  So the hell what? What are you going to do about
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  it? What the hell does this proof
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  doesn't mean anything. What are you going to do?
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  What kind of action can you take?
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  What kind of actions are you willing to take?
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  What? You What are you going to do?
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  Nothing. OK.
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  Nothing. All right.
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  Bet. So there's nothing going to come
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  of it. They don't think you have.
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  Like, yeah, I'm going to just be realistic.
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  And this is not me saying this about you.
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  Listen to listen to me carefully.
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  This is not me saying this about you.
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  Some of them think you are. You are weak.
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  They look at you like you're weak.
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  Now they look at you like you're not strong.
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  They say it like that. They look at you like you don't
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  have the strength to hold them accountable or to follow through
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  with anything or to do anything about it.
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  So that's why even if you confront them, they'll keep
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  doing it. Doesn't mean.
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  It doesn't mean that they're going to stop.
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  It doesn't mean that they're going to change their behavior.
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  So what? You confronted me, I'm busted.
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  Wow. What are you going to do about
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  it? You see what I'm saying?
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  That's how they'll do. That's exactly the mindset that
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  they'll do right there. What the hell are you going to
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  do about it, huh? Nothing.
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  You know, they don't think you're going to do anything.
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  I'm not. This is not me saying that
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  you're not going to do anything. I've talked to thousands of
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  people over the last few years who have left toxic
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  relationships. Some, a lot of y'all, have have
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  done something about it. And even the ones who are still
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  in it, y'all have done something about it.
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  Hopefully you change the boundaries of going up.
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  You're building those boundary fences, right?
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  Hopefully you start building those boundary fences up.
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  You know what I mean? To protect your peace and to
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  protect yourself and just taking action.
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  What did, what does action look like to you?
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  Because I know everybody's situation is different.
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  I'm not telling everybody to leave.
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  And just like just leave. I would, I would, I would if I
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  could. You know what I mean?
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  Everybody's situation is going to be different, you know.
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  But another thing that happens when you confront A narcissist
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  with whatever evidence or proof that you have when you try to
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  hold them accountable for whatever it is.
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  Like yo, you might you might set off the narcissistic rage bomb.
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  You seriously might. You might absolutely set off the
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  rage bomb. They might actually start raging
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  out at you and be angry as hell at you because of this
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  situation. Because you set.
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  Because you set me off. You did this right?
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  You made me this way. You made me talk to you like
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  this. You made me yell at you.
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  You made me scream at you, blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BBB.
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  You made me do this so I wouldn't have been yelling and
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  screaming at you if you would have came at me, you know?
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  Because not only not only could this start a narcissistic rage
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  session, it could also make them start questioning where you got
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  your information from. You know, it made them question
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  where you got where you got everything that you have going
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  on from like, where did you get it from where?
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  Where is this from? They'll try.
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  They'll try to probe you for the source if you didn't discover it
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  on your own. They will try to probe you of
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  the Source. They're like, where the hell did
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  you get this information from? I need.
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  I need to know where you got this from so I can change it up,
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  so I can attack it in a different way.
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  You know, a lot of them will do it like that.
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  A lot of them will handle the situation like that.
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  They absolutely will. So then in this space, you got
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  to ask yourself, like, you know, be careful when you confront
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  them because some of them can rage out or you and put their
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  hands on you and start yelling and screaming at you, you know,
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  give you, I said, I think I mentioned this earlier, give you
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  the silent treatment, the silent treatment to me, I called it.
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  I called the silent treatment silent rage.
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  You know, the silent treatment for a narcissist is really
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  silent rage. They're they're they're angry as
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  hell at you, but the rage is coming from a different place.
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  So it's like silent rage. They don't they, they're angry,
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  mad, they're they're being confronted.
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  They're ashamed that they're being confronted.
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  But now this is like they're going to be silent about the
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  situation. They're silent about the rage
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  and whatnot, you know, because that happens quite a bit right
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  there within that space. So do I tell people like, this
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  is how it goes right here, that narcissistic person in your life
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  and you confront them, You know, they could react a whole
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  different way. You know, very rarely.
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  Let me, let's go, let's, let's do a let's do an outlier right
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  here. Very rarely.
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  If you confront them, this is the one of the ways you could
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  go. It's not a, it's not a, it's not
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  a frequent reaction that you'll get.
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  But some of them will feign accountability.
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  Some of them will. You might get the vulnerable,
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  covert narcissists that might actually seem like they're being
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  empathetic and trying to reason with you.
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  And just like I understand that, I hurt.
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  You. I really do.
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  I know that I hurt you. I can't believe I did this.
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  I can't believe when I put you to do this.
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  It really sucks that I'm hurting too.
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  Some of them will do that. You get the like I said, the
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  vulnerable, covert, narcissistic person might start crying and be
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  pretending like they're hurting too.
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  Or like they're in this situation right here where they,
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  you know, might offer you a generic apology.
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  You know they might offer you a generic apology with some
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  changed behavior for a little bit.
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  Very rarely is the consistent change behavior and very rarely
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  is it a catapult tour. I'd say a better quality of
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  relationship with this person. Very rarely does it happen that
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  way, you know. And then so I'm I say that
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  because I don't want people to get their hopes up and just
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  like, well, Lee said it's a possibility that they might
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  become nice to me. No, no, no.
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  It's the possibility is a very is a very rare occurrence.
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  You know it's like seeing a damn, a blue lobster.
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  Yeah. I'll be watching.
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  I'm on. I don't know how I get hit.
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  I get on lobster TikTok, but like it's like I said a blue
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  lobster, you know blue rock, blue lobsters are rare.
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  You know if all the other narcissists are red, the blue
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  lobster, the blue, the blue narcissist is different.
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  It's a rarity. You know what I mean?
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  But that's how it goes though. There's bits and pieces of the
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  situation, how things are going to go like.
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  So, yeah, So a lot of them in these situation, these
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  scenarios, we'll do it like they.
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  They will. Some of them, I mean, not a lot
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  of them. Some of them will absolutely
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  apologize to you. It will come to come to you from
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  a place of empathy and kindness. It's like, I'm so sorry that
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  this has happened between us. Can we work his?
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  Yeah. Some of them will do that.
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  I'm not saying all of them. I'm just saying some of them.
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  Yeah. And so I'll end it with this
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  right here. Y'all.
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  So before you confront A narcissist, right before you
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  confront them, ask yourself what the goal is.
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  What is the you know? What is the actual goal that
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  you're trying to achieve with this confrontation?
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  Were you presenting this information to them?
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  Were you trying to hold them accountable?
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  Ask yourself what the goal is, right?
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  And if you've had, if this relationship has had any, You
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  know, I don't know how long it's going on.
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  Depending on the duration of the relationship, you know if this
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  relationship has had any longevity.
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  Is there a time in this relationship where the goal that
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  you are trying to achieve, that you've achieved, achieved
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  achieved it before? Like if you or you're well
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  believe my goal is to give them a chance to explain themselves.
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  I'll say OK, if you've ever given them a chance to explain
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  themselves in this relationship previously, how did it go?
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  Because the the greatest indicator of future behavior is
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  past behavior. So people are going to act how
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  they normally act, people going to behave how they normally
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  behave, right? So I if I've treated you badly
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  in the past and I've acted out in the past because you try to
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  hold me accountable, how do you think I'm going to behave now?
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  You know what I mean? How do you think I'm going to
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  act right now? How do you think things are
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  going to go right now? If I've always, if I've always
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  acted this way, why did, why would the behaviours change now?
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  I just have to ask people that right there, if I've always been
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  behaving this way, why would these behaviours change up right
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  now? So before you try to hold this
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  person accountable or confront this person, ask yourself what
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  is the goal and how it has went before?
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  How realistic is your goal? You know, I'm again, I'm not
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  telling you to not confront them, I'm just asking you to ask
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  these yourself these questions and how have they reacted
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  before? Because every if, every time you
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  bring this up, they react the same way.
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  Ask yourself, do you really need to confront them or do you need
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  to find a different course of action, like the course, like
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  I've tried to get, I've tried to let them explain themselves for
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  cheating on me and they always get mad at me.
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  So are you going to go, are you going to go do this again or you
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  just going to make a plan to leave or just change, You know,
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  just what are you going to do? Because I know it seems unfair,
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  but it does fall onto you like the the dynamics and whatnot.
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  What comes next do fall unto you.
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  You know what I mean. Anyway, y'all thank you for
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  tuning into another episode. Of course.
• 11:32
  Subscribe to the channel. Subscribe to my my e-mail list
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  newsletter. Thank you all so much.
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  I really appreciate everything going to y'all.
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  And of course, Mr. Hillis is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 11:51
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 11:53
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• 11:56
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• 11:58
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 12:02
  video. Peace.