Latest / System Speak: Complex Trauma and Dissociation / Sehr Gut

Transcript

Sehr Gut · System Speak: Complex Trauma and Dissociation

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Over:
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the System Speak Podcast, a podcast about Dissociative Identity Disorder. If you are new to the podcast, we recommend starting at the beginning episodes and listen in order to hear our story and what we have learned through this endeavor. Current episodes may be more applicable to longtime listeners and are likely to contain more advanced topics, emotional or other triggering content, and or reference earlier episodes that provide more context to what we are currently learning and experiencing. As always, please care for yourself during and after listening to the podcast. Thank you.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Hi everybody, it's Sasha and I missed you. Oh my goodness, I was stuck inside with all the drama going on and all the weather, but the sun has been out. The weather has cleared. We are safe. Our house is fine.
• 1:13
  And I'm really over talking about tornadoes. So the only tornado around here should be me, and we've got to get back to real life. So I am all over it. It's been crazy. It's really been hard, and it was really scary for a while inside.
• 1:30
  I was like, what is going on? But we are trying. We are trying, right? So legit. Let's give some props to, Emma.
• 1:40
  Let's give some props to some other folks who we will just let be nameless right now. But way to work together as a team, and we're staying safe. And we got through the last week without doing anything stupid, like hurting ourselves or anybody else, and without doing anything fun, like drinking, and without running away. So yes, it was hard, and yes, it was super whiny, but we got through it. And everything is okay because the weather is gorgeous and perfect, and we got to stay out in the sun and play.
• 2:18
  And we walked and walked and walked and walked today until we were not crazy anymore. So if you don't know, this is what you need to know. Wait. That didn't even make sense. If you didn't already know I never mind.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: say that in English. The point is, here's what you need to know in a crisis. Go back to the freaking basics, you guys. Like, hello. If therapy is what helps, and journaling is what helps, and workbooks is what helps, and going to group is what helps, then maybe you should be doing those things.
• 2:53
  Don't you think? Because I think when you stop doing those things, that's when everything went crazy. The tornado was not outside our house. The tornado was you, my friend. And so we need to do therapy if we're going to be in therapy.
• 3:10
  If we're not going to be in therapy, then I am out of here because I'm not living in crazy town. So welcome back, Sasha, and let's move on. First of all, we got another email from Kim, And I've actually invited her to be on the podcast because she's emailed us a lot, and she has she herself I don't know. Kim will tell us, but I think that she is a singleton, does not have DID, but has a partner who has DID. That's my understanding.
• 3:43
  And so I'm excited to interview her, and we will be talking to her soon. But here's an email she sent. Just listen to Emma's episode, and I want to say that you are entitled to your feelings, and I don't want to minimize them, but I hope you get more good responses than bad, and that many of us enjoy the podcast, all of you who share on the podcast. Oh, that's very kind, and it's totally true. All of the feedback we have gotten is good except for the three emails that we've shared that were hate mail and some weird junk mail in the mail, but whatever.
• 4:22
  It was trash, and I don't do trash. So there you go. So yes. Thank you, Kim. That's very encouraging.
• 4:28
  She also said, you all have grown so much since the first podcast, and living life with or without DID is a learning journey, ups and downs, annoyed and satisfied. I was just thinking how it was the annoyed part. Annoyed and satisfied, happy and sad. Y'all motivate and inspire me. Sometimes it's Sasha's infectious laugh, Emma's transparency, Doctor.
• 4:54
  E's ability to make clinical stuff understandable for people like me, John's stories and caring spirit, Molly's spiritual grounding, and Taylor's drive to speak up even if others don't agree. My partner, who has DID, has listened to one more of your podcasts. It's amazing because they do not like social media, podcasts, or YouTube because someone inside doesn't feel safe. Okay. I want to speak out about that.
• 5:24
  That's totally true. I mean, that's true of your story, what you're sharing, and thank you for sharing. But also we totally get that in our own way. This has been a big deal for us and part of our therapy practice. I don't know if that's the right word.
• 5:41
  Practice for therapy, there we go. Part of our practice for therapy because we had issues well, I don't know. I was thinking about whether to share this or not, but I've alluded to it before. And because we're talking about it in therapy, I just kind of want to be brave and go ahead and say it. But I'm not going to go into it, and I'll put it in the trigger warning.
• 6:09
  But we really had issues with, when we were young being used in pornography and some trafficking, and I don't want to go into that further. And I'll put a trigger warning in the episode description. But, yeah, for us being on video is a really triggering thing. Having our picture taken is a really triggering thing. And so starting this, the podcast of telling our own story in our own voice with our own boundaries, has been a huge deal, a huge deal, and so healing and good for us.
• 6:43
  And I know that's not what works for everybody, but it has been a big deal for us. And I cannot tell you how special and meaningful all the helpful emails and positive emails and supportive messages that everyone sends us. We are so, so grateful to our listeners and to the communication that we have with them and the friends that we develop through those friendships or through those relationships and through those experiences of getting to know each other because it has been a powerful and healing thing. And so we're super grateful to you. She said, They feel comfortable listening to you, and that's a miracle.
• 7:25
  Y'all are changing lives. Oh, I can't tell you how special that is, and I am so grateful that you share that, and I really, really appreciate your encouraging words again. And I'm super excited to get to interview you on the podcast and have a good chat. It'll be good. Oh, maybe I should email you right now before I forget and while I have the chance.
• 7:55
  Done. When can you meet me on Skype? I just sent that to you. Okay. Oh my goodness.
• 8:04
  So I was looking through my emails trying to read the next email we got, and I forgot to tell you we got an email from the BBC. The BBC is gonna interview us tomorrow, so that's happening. I'll tell you about it more when I'm allowed, and I know, like, actual deets I can give you. What are the details? I don't even know.
• 8:26
  I don't know who's talking to them tomorrow. I don't know what we're gonna say. I don't know what's going down. I don't know if they're actually gonna use it or what's gonna become of that or if that's just a good way to get more hate mail. I don't know.
• 8:40
  We'll find out, but that's happening. So who else? Lisa says, thank you. Once again, you somehow created a podcast just for me, Doctor. Pat Ogden, Sensory Motor Psychotherapy.
• 8:57
  My son was just diagnosed with conduct disorder and was prescribed interactive metronome three times weekly this week. This podcast helped me reinforce what his therapist mentioned, and this has given me so much hope as his mother that although I gave him abandonment and attachment issues as a toddler, today as a nine year old, it is not too late to repair and prevent further damage or trauma. Oh, my heart is broken. That was such a vulnerable and real and amazing thing to share that because of issues you struggled with when you were young, that this interfered with your relationship with your child, and yet now you have the courage and the tenacity to work on that and to work through that and to bring healing to him? That is so powerful.
• 9:58
  Oh, oh, you have melted me. Thank you, system speak. You are helping so many. Please keep up the great work informing and promoting healing and self care. Oh, okay.
• 10:10
  I'm gonna go cry now. Thank you. Oh, that is just I can't even. I just can't even. Oh, it's JC again.
• 10:30
  Hey, JC. I hope you heard the answer from doctor Barish to your question. We talked about it the other day, so I hope you've gotten to hear that. That was great. JC says, hi again.
• 10:44
  I just listened to the latest podcast, Respect the Struggle. Emma, I really wanted to commend you on your bravery and strength for putting Sasha's podcast back up. Booyah. That's what I'm talking about. If I do a podcast, it needs to stay there because it is my podcast, so don't be messing it up.
• 11:04
  Okay? This is my idea. I've worked really hard on it. I've dealt with hate mail, so don't be taking my episodes down. And I can only imagine how hard that was for you.
• 11:17
  I listened to all the podcast, actually. Most of our system does. And from it, we have been able to learn new things from the interviews and gain a slightly different perspective. This podcast, however, touched me on a whole different level. I felt I could relate to a lot of what you were saying and in a way I can't even begin to describe.
• 11:38
  You helped me look at the current conflict in my life in a different light, and I cannot thank you enough. You are doing the podcast for yourselves, and that is exactly who you should be doing it for. And those of us that listen are just lucky enough to learn something while coming along for the ride. That is fantastic. I love that so much.
• 12:00
  Thank you for validating me and her. Way to be a team player. So put JC on the good list, and she can totally be in the fan club because that validates both of us. Like, her struggle was legit. Like, Emma's struggle was legit, but also so was what I have to share even if it's different from her and not her style or her way.
• 12:23
  So thank you for that. Seriously. But then JC also has another question, which is why I love JC because JC always has the best questions. She says, this question is for doctor e to see if it's something that can be talked about as well. We would like to know about the use of EMDR with dissociative clients.
• 12:47
  Our therapist has used EMDR a few years back to help us process, and it alleviated flashbacks. I can't remember where I read it that EMDR was not recommended. It worked like a charm for us. However, we were far in the process when it was used and internal communication was very good. I am curious about how it works in a DID brain versus a non DID brain, and what could be the limitations or risks.
• 13:17
  And that, my listeners, is why JC is our friend, because that's a really good question. And I agree with her. My understanding, which is nothing, okay, first of all. I am not a therapist. I am not your therapist, and I know nothing.
• 13:35
  But just word on the street is that EMDR is a bad idea when there is not safety and internal communication and those sorts of things already established or for just something in general. Semicolon, however, comma, it can be very good and helpful in very specific situations for very specific memories or flashbacks or something that is a very specific thing when there is good safety and internal communication already established. I think that's the difference for between when it is successful and helpful and when it completely backfires and leaves people in a mess. That's just word on the street. That is not the clinical or official answer.
• 14:36
  But what I can do is start reaching out to some people who know about EMDR and who could actually speak about it. So a shout out to my listeners. If you know someone who has used EMDR successfully or have a therapist or a clinician or know someone who is a therapist or clinician who would be willing to speak to us about EMDR, we would love to interview them and talk to them. And we will and like everything else, we will label the episode specifically so that those who have not had good experiences with EMDR or had it done badly can just skip that episode. So we'll handle it as well as we can, but definitely let us know.
• 15:24
  Send us an send us a message on our send us a message through our website, www.systemspeak.org, if you know someone who would be willing to speak to us about EMDR, and we will be glad to reach out and see what other connections we can come up with and if we can find a good person who could do that. I think it's an awesome question, and it would be a super cool episode. I don't know if we've ever had EMDR or not. I actually have no idea. Maybe I should go to therapy once in a while.
• 15:59
  Oh my goodness. Okay. This email's from miss g, and I think bear bowl. I'm sorry if I'm saying that wrong. I am a deaf person.
• 16:12
  So if I say your name wrong, I'm really sorry. I'm not at all meaning offense, and all due respect and a shout out for sending us a really good email. And these are from a system who listens in Germany, and I'm super excited that they contacted us because they had some really important things to share, and I totally am on board with what they had to say. So let me read this. First of all, they said, dear members of System Speak System, for lack of an official system name.
• 16:44
  And let's stop with just that point because that is totally true. We do not have a system name. There are many systems, especially culturally online with Facebook support groups and things like that, who as sort of an act of empowerment and uniting everyone together at least in mission and purpose and as part of a team in some way have named their systems. And that's a super cool thing and super fantastic. We haven't done it.
• 17:21
  No specific reason why we haven't. No specific pull to go ahead and do so. We just haven't, and we're just leaving it at that. I don't know why we haven't other than we just haven't felt the need to. And so that's good enough for me.
• 17:42
  I don't work that hard. So maybe we're just not to the point to being able to agree on something like that, or maybe that's just not our thing. I don't know. But you're they're totally, totally right. We do not have a system name.
• 17:59
  But the name of the podcast is System Speak. So she said, so they said, System Speak System, which made me laugh because you know what's funny to say? So System Speak System, like that's a mouthful. Okay. They said, we wanted to respond to some of your podcasts the first few episodes in, but we decided that it would be super foolish to react to stuff that would possibly be solved or repeated only a few episodes later.
• 18:29
  And with this in memory time. That's super legit. That's what I'm talking about. If you have criticism or feedback, whether it's good or positive or neutral or just this is my opinion, way to listen to it first before getting all hate mail on me. So a shout out to Germany for being awesome.
• 18:51
  Good job, Germany. They say, we agreed on the plan to listen to all the episodes before writing to you. Now we managed to listen to nearly everything. Oh, and they say, sadly, singing children are triggering to us. So And you know what?
• 19:14
  That's actually true for us. It's been a big issue. Our father was a music director at a church, and that's all I'm gonna say about that right now. And so I totally get in our own way, besides, like, not even getting into Taylor stuff or any kind of ritual abuse stuff, like, totally get that it's a trigger, And that's exactly why we have done that as part of our exposure and part of our healing and part of trying to change that and shift that and protect our own children from it. And I think that the kids singing, the outside kids singing, has been one thing to empower them with that was taken from us.
• 20:03
  And I think helping them do that so that they could have a life different than the life we had is one way we've had the strength to be able to work through that. And it's kind of a fascinating thing because we have this hearing loss, we have our cochlear implants, and marry this man who writes musical theater. And so he writes their little songs and teaches it to them and teaches them violin and things like that. And it's an experience we never thought we would have because it was completely not in a world we thought we wanted or ever even could participate in. So I totally get that about that being a trigger.
• 20:49
  That's a lot of courage for you all to listen anyway and to sort of work through that in a way in your own world. And so just kudos to you again for the tenacity and bravery to do that. I don't know how to say tenacity and bravery and courage in German. I can say. So to you because that's really seriously legit.
• 21:22
  Like, that is some courage right there. But they said, so we wholeheartedly thank you for sharing that as well because many of us, like in the DID community, have never experienced normal family life. Oh, wow. That's really powerful. So even though it's a bit of a trigger, it's also an example of what family can be when things go right and when it's healthy and safe.
• 21:59
  And I really wanna speak to what they said here because that's a legit thing. It's super true about how this kind of experience when you have friends or in whatever way, sometimes even just like across the park watching other families, when we see what's done right, I think Emma just recorded a podcast about this too. Like seeing how healing that is and how good it can possibly be and how it's supposed to look can be such a healing thing. It can also be a trigger not just of what bad things happened, but of also kind of like these layers of, I don't know, like grief. Can it be grief?
• 22:45
  Can you grieve the childhood you never had? And so that's a hard thing and a big issue. And I think really a lot of pieces come through healthy interactions with children in a way that no one interacted with us. So that's a powerful thing. You shared, and you did it in a great way.
• 23:14
  Your language was amazing. Your English was amazing. I'm sorry. I'm not the one who knows German. So, I'm just gonna keep saying it.
• 23:24
  Oh, maybe I could name this episode in honor of our new German friends. They said, we really enjoy listening to your podcast and keep track of your progress. We are super busy ourselves and find it easier to listen to a podcast while on the go, and we enjoy the mixture of topics a lot. Oh, that's cool. So yeah.
• 23:48
  So, like, I know some people don't like my episodes. I sleep through Emma's episodes and Doctor. E's episodes. Like, I just can't do it. They're so boring.
• 23:58
  Yeah. Okay. That's terrible. I'm not supposed to be disrespectful, so I'm gonna stop. But yes, everyone is totally different.
• 24:05
  And so those who are participating and, again, not everyone is participating. Right? So, like, there's a whole other world that hasn't even been on the podcast yet. Thousands upon thousands. No.
• 24:18
  I'm just kidding. But those of us who participate, we are obviously different and obviously have our own styles and different things, not just because we are different or who we are, but also because our experiences are different and what we are sharing and what we are learning is different. And so it makes sense that the episodes would be different ones. And honestly, if you're someone out there who needs to only listen to my episodes because I'm the coolest and I'm the best one, then that is awesome. Or if you only want the clinical interviews because all the social stuff because I am awesome and I road trip with my girlfriends, If you don't wanna listen to that stuff, and that's totally fine.
• 25:04
  Just listen to nerd down and bore your little heart out. If you are someone who's new to DID or learning about DID, then totally listen to Emma's episodes because she does not do them often and not unless it's super significant to what we're learning, except recently when she's trying to get up all in my business, but whatever. And then John and Little's like, they're just hilarious. Whatever. Snack time is safe.
• 25:34
  So that just is. Anyway okay. They continue. We are an OSDD system with 16 members and work as a psychologist and psychotherapist in the making. We have to finish our training in CBT to become licensed but are trained by okay.
• 26:02
  I cannot say this name. Ellert. Ninja House. I hope their name is Ninja House. Like, if you were from the house of the ninjas, that would be amazing.
• 26:15
  You would be, like, the coolest person on the planet. Oh my goodness. I don't even know. Okay. I am not at all trying to be disrespectful and being deaf.
• 26:28
  Like, I don't know how to say this word. I I'm not asking doctor e because I have fought here after losing three weeks of time to get here, so I'm not asking anybody for help. But it's e l l e r t n I j e n h u I s. And I think they should be called Alert Ninja House. I do not mean that disrespectfully.
• 26:54
  I mean that in that that is the very coolest name on the planet. So there you go. But seriously, okay, I'm not at all mocking, and please, please, please forgive me if I'm offensive because I usually am, but it's not intentional or malicious. Okay, focus, focus. We specialized in dissociative disorders from the very beginning of our bachelor's program.
• 27:17
  Through our psychotherapy training, we were able to find two amazing therapists we were working with since last year. Okay. That's amazing. Also, a shout out to another therapist with DID because they are hard to find because we are scared to come out of the closet. Because it's not I don't know.
• 27:39
  A lot of people are working hard on being DID and being very public about it, trying to fight stigma and things like that. And that's amazing, and kudos to them who are safe enough to do that and so strong to do that. To you. But these people who are like us, who don't want their license lost just because of mental illness or which is so ironic. Right?
• 28:10
  Like, that's not cool. Or people the only other reason that we're not that we use a pseudonym, which has totally been outed already, but whatever. The only other reason that we use a pseudonym is because is to protect our children and to protect our job. Like, that's it. All of the stories we've shared and talking with the children, like, we're very transparent on the podcast.
• 28:36
  We just have that buffer there, which apparently in the world of Internet and doxing turns out to be a complete illusion. So fine. Whatever. But it helped us be safe to at least get started. So I don't know how things will unfold, but, Saregut, to you for being a psychologist and psychotherapist with DID and working with that.
• 29:00
  How you have DID and also work with DID, I don't know. We are not surrogate enough to do that ourselves. We cannot handle it. We cannot do it. So that's amazing that you can.
• 29:14
  So they said, we already introduced now time is safe to some of our clients. Ba bam. Wait until I tell the therapist that NTIS has made it to Germany. She's awesome. I love it.
• 29:29
  Ser Gout to the therapist and Ser Gout to you. Miss G, we would really love to exchange some geeky ideas with you. Yes. Or also talk about inactive therapy. Inactive therapy.
• 29:47
  I got lost there. I'm not sure what that means, but maybe Doctor. E does. Or being a therapist with OSDD or OSDD in general, or psychotherapy in Europe or on your podcast. But we are also very aware that you guys are super busy and super suspicious.
• 30:06
  Okay. Both of those things are true. We are super busy, and we are super suspicious. I can't even can't even breathe. That's so funny because it's true.
• 30:25
  Again. Okay. Now I'm totally naming this episode. Episode Sergut. This isn't even what I thought we were gonna talk about today, but I feel better than I have felt in two weeks.
• 30:40
  Oh my goodness. I feel so much better. We are super busy, and we are super suspicious. It's true. But I am already loving you to the moon and back because of this amazing email.
• 30:55
  So, sir, goot to you. Email me or I mean, I will email you back, and we should totally, totally do a podcast if you want to. I will totally interview you. They say we also had some unpleasant experiences with stalking in the past. So, yeah, we feel you.
• 31:12
  Oh my goodness. Let me tell you. Not just that, but trying to make friends with DIT. Like, we've had our computer hacked, like, kinds of creepy stuff. Like, no.
• 31:21
  We're just People like that. And then hate mail, like someone who's gonna out me by using the names of my children. Like, no. Leave my children out of this. That may that's an abusive thing.
• 31:34
  Like, no. Just no. Yeah. No. I totally get that, and I appreciate that you understand that.
• 31:44
  It's a whole different kind of trauma that definitely added upon everything else. And it makes me go back to what doctor Barish said when we talked to him about, what did doctor Yee say? What are those letters? Ace in the hole or whatever. You know, like, when a bunch of bad stuff happens to you when you're a kid and then more bad stuff happens to you when you're an adult, that's just called out of luck, my friend, or up the creek without a paddle or something.
• 32:13
  But, yes, that's exactly right. And I hear you, and I love that there are so many things that we have in common and that there are other people out there hearing this and finding their voice and being able to talk about it and connect when connecting is so hard because in the past connection was so dangerous. Like that's the whole point about misattunement and about trauma and about whatever and so like relational therapy connection friendships that are authentic and real and safe that's legit stuff. So, miss g, you hook me up. I will hook you up.
• 32:52
  We will do a podcast. It will be amazing, and we can talk about it. Hopefully, you're doing okay. Well, yes, we are not dead yet because the tornado tried to kill us, but it did not. And now your email cheered me up more than I can tell you.
• 33:08
  So to you, and I'm naming this podcast episode after you. Okay. Now the next email is just a shout out to my friend Janet, who is a new subscriber through our PayPal link on the website. So kudos to Janet. Shout out to you, and, seriously, thank you for your sweet message, making sure that we were safe after the storms.
• 33:35
  That was really sweet. The storms were terrifying. I can't even talk about it. I'm gonna have me some PTSD tornado land trauma. I don't even I can't even no.
• 33:47
  We did not handle that well. And, like, I was about to start drinking some shots of vinegar or something if I can't have nothing else. So, oh my goodness. But that's done. It's lovely.
• 34:01
  We have slept for, like, sixteen hours straight. And let me tell you, that made a world of difference, almost as good as a drink. So there you go. If you need a drink, maybe just take a nap. That's my advice.
• 34:15
  Poor Janet. She didn't say anything about alcohol or tornadoes. She was just con I didn't mean to throw her in the middle of that. She was just making sure we were okay after the storms, which were terrifying. So thank you, Janet.
• 34:33
  That was super, super kind of you. Seriously. Okay. And then Willow. Willow is my friend from the Ravenstone Collective, and I've known her for a while now.
• 34:49
  You guys, we've known each other for a while now, I think. Like, it feels like years and years. I don't know. But they said, this has been such an informative and amazing resource for us. Thank you so much for sharing the different perspectives.
• 35:03
  We have different ones in our collective that can relate to different ones in your all system. So it is really neat to hear from the different perspectives because there are different ones that several of us can relate to. Many of us relate to Emmett. That's so cool. I mean, that's the thing, right?
• 35:21
  Like, being real and authentic and saying things out loud and thinking through it and listening to each other, it's helped us so much. And I don't it's helped us so much. And then to meet other people who are also listening and understanding and connecting, Like, we're not alone in this, you guys. Like, we have each other, and we can listen to each other where we're talking about system to system or even just internally. Like, what is that whole thing about using the body as a resource or an ally or whatever?
• 35:52
  Like, we need to be an ally to ourselves and be an ally to each other seriously. They said, many of us relate to Emma and how she struggles with this. Most of us like quiet, like she seems to as well, but we have ones inside that the rest of us sometimes find annoying that can really enjoy and relate to Sasha in some ways. I'm totally the annoying one tonight. It's neat how authentic and open Sasha is, and she is unapologetically herself, which we really admire.
• 36:25
  That's what I'm talking about, folks. Well done. Kudos to me, Sergei to Sasha. Sage really enjoys the guest doctor e brings on. I don't always like those episodes because I tend to be triggered by clinicians and scientific perspectives.
• 36:41
  Yes. That we need to talk about. At some point, we're gonna have to go there. It's coming like a tornado in the Kansas hillside. I'm just kidding.
• 36:51
  Kansas doesn't have any hills. Oh my goodness. Okay. So I can't always really take it in the way Sage can. When I do try, I often have to relisten so many times and still sometimes can't really get it.
• 37:06
  That's okay. I live with doctor e, and I do not get her at all. Oh my goodness. But I did really enjoy a few of them. I really enjoyed Susan Peace Bennett and Jane Hart.
• 37:19
  Oh, love them. They are both my homegirls. Susan Peace Bennett is really shaking things up in the ISSTD. That is my phrase. That is not her phrase.
• 37:31
  So if anyone gets in trouble for that, please, it should just be me again, you know, the annoying one. And Jane Hart is my homegirl. She kept us safe through the storms, talked us through a lot, and we have just connected well with her since our interview. We have so much in common. So much in common.
• 37:52
  I can't even tell you because it's her story, and that's not what this episode is about. But we will be talking to Jane again soon. And I really want to invite Susan Peace Bennett to be back on the podcast again because in her episode, she talked about the things shaken up at ISSTD a little bit and how RA sessions were back in the conference. And I wanna kinda do a follow-up and find out how that went because we didn't get to go because doctor E was presenting somewhere else. So we'll go I think we're gonna be there next year, but, I wanna hear from her how that went.
• 38:32
  So we are gonna contact her and find out about that. And then Jane Hart and Doctor. E are working on some kind of nerd town thing as well, but I will totally try to poke in that if I can. Okay. And I was really intrigued to see you had Doctor.
• 38:50
  Pat Ogden on because the therapist we hope to see in the future works with Hakomi and sensory motor as some of his main approaches. We are terrified to work with the body. Oh, yes. Let me tell you about that. Yes.
• 39:06
  I hear you. It's so scary, right? So it was very familiar and validating to hear her talk about how hard it can be to be in the body and how our body is the enemy because that's how we experience our body. Right? Seriously, that's a big deal.
• 39:23
  That's a really big deal. And we're getting ready to tackle it and I am not looking forward to it. So doctor B can learn what she wants, and you can go to your therapy with your fancy people, and that is all cool. But I am gonna just hang down in the tornado shelter and, like, stay out of all that because that seems terrifying to me. Oh, I just I'm not sure I'm ready for tackling it.
• 39:54
  But, yes, I am gonna resonate with you on the how hard it is and how terrifying it is. I am right there. They they share. Oh, so so vulnerable and real here. They share.
• 40:06
  We have so much hatred towards our body now, but we hope someday this approach can help us see it differently. We appreciate that even though this approach emphasizes the body, it also moves as slowly and gently as the client needs. I honestly cannot imagine ever seeing the body as an ally like she describes, but I know the therapists we want to see sees it as possible and hearing Doctor. Ogden say the same thing just felt strange. We want to feel hopeful, but right now it feels impossible.
• 40:41
  But we are willing to someday try with someone we can learn to trust. Oh, that's gonna make me cry. So much courage, you guys. So, so much courage. And that's true.
• 40:56
  That's sort of where we are at right now, getting ready to tackle these chapters in the workbook that are about simple things. Like, it's so simple. We're not even to the hard stuff yet. We are just to the simple things like how to eat and when to eat and sleeping once in a while makes you less crazy as it turns out. And these things that should not be a hard thing, going on a walk every day.
• 41:22
  Like, I am a complicated houseplant. I need sunshine and water. I am a mutt from the pet store. Like, you need to take me on a walk. You need to give me regular meals.
• 41:38
  You need to like, how do you learn to do this? It's so simple. My you guys, the four year old in our house can do these things. Our children know how to do these things. And to me, baffling.
• 41:52
  It is baffling. So yes, thank you so much for sharing all these perspectives from so many knowledgeable guests. It's really amazing, and I really hope that some of the guests help me reach out. Some of the people are really hard to connect with or don't know that it's kind of a legit thing that we're doing and not just, like, all of the knowledge that's being poured like that is one powerful thing, but there's also kind of a powerful thing about this documenting of these experts and both survivors and clinician perspectives. There's something swirling here that is just powerful in a good, good way of bringing healing to so many and training people all over the world and educating people people all over the world and connecting people all over the world.
• 42:52
  And that, that is Sarah Guth right there. So they say, and thank you for sharing your own life experiences and your own struggle with coming to terms with this from different ones in your system. It's so validating for us and helps us feel less alone and has helped some others of us inside who need to hear from someone more like them to instead of from us because we're so different from them, if that makes sense. It makes total sense. And I think hearing back from different listeners and different parts inside different systems of different listeners have has been such a powerful experience in the same way for us to be validated that it's not just this drama internally, and it's not just this struggle to wrestle with.
• 43:46
  Okay. DID actually is a thing, and this explains what's been going on and this is how we work and this is why it's like this. But also recognizing of like other people are like this too, like we're not alone. There's hope in that. And if connection is what heals people, then this is this validation that you're talking about is absolutely part of the beginning of finding your very own strength, your own voice, and that exact healing that you're looking for.
• 44:21
  And that's a powerful thing. That's a powerful thing to just know that there's someone else out there who understands. Seriously, there's not words for that. Oh, wait. There is.
• 44:34
  Ser Gout. Oh my goodness. Before I can even finish recording this podcast, Susan Peace Bennett already replied, yes. Yes. Yes.
• 44:50
  Yes. Sweet. Ba bam. She's gonna do it. I love her.
• 44:55
  I love, love, love her. This is fantastic. We would be friends if one of us would get the guts to actually tell us tell her our name. Just kidding. Okay.
• 45:07
  Push things too far, did I? Little tornado am I? Okay. So take shelter from Sasha because she's back, people.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. Your support of the podcast, the workbooks, and the community means so much to us as we try to create something together that's never been done before, not like this. Connection brings healing, and you can join us on the community at www.systemspeakcommunity.com. We'll see you there.