Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Brooks Wheelan Disobeys Bridger

Transcript

Brooks Wheelan Disobeys Bridger · I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Well, I invited you. Hear I thought I made myself
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: perfectly clear.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: But you're a guest to my home.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guests,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: So how did you dare to surbey me?
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineger. We're
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: in the backyard. I'm in a sweatshirt for the first
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: time in months. The weather is calling for or it
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: feels like the air quality is probably an F minus.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: It's who knows what's going to happen to my throat?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: What else is going on? Oh? Yesterday was the we're
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: only one day out from the I was bullied into
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: getting the photos taken at j C. Penny by you,
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: and it went beautifully. I have to thank John Carlow
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: at the J. C. Penny Portrait Studio. He what a
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: great attitude. I would consider him probably my number one
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: creative collaborator at this point. Just a wonderful presence, and
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: hopefully his career continues to flourish. Is there anything else
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: that's happening, Not that I can remember or care about.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: I'd rather get into the podcast. I adore today's guess.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I think he's so funny. It's Brooks Wheeler.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: That's very nice, Bridget. Thanks for having me, Thanks for coming.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: How are you doing good? I just bought a car
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: twenty minutes ago.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Twenty minutes ago.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, at Whitmers he sold you a car.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't trust him with a car. No, no, no,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: no no.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: Well, I had an old I had a twenty twelve
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: Super Outback that I bought new and I drove it
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: for two hundred thousand miles and it exploited, like the
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: transmission broke.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: Oh so all the lights were going off.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: It still kind of runs right, And Witt had like
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: a twenty twenty one Super Outback, and he's like, I
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: want a new car. And I was like, I'll just
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: buy your car, dude, And so we we looked up
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: how much his car would be if you trade, if
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: he traded it in, and then I paid him five
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: hundred dollars.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Wow, good friend.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: So we circumvented the dealership.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Right, wow.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I feel like I would have a hard time buying
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: from a friend because I want I would want to
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: talk them down as much as pob Oh.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: No, he was like, how's this sound I go, that
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: sounds great. And then but yeah, I just wrote a check,
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: a normal check, minutes ago, for eighteen thousand, five hundred
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: dollars and you can just do that.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: What a feeling. Yeah, you can write any number you
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: want on a chest.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: It was crazy. I'm like, ay, this isn't And it's
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: also such a lateral move. I had a car, so
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: it sound like I may have an excited right, I'm
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: just like, what the fuck? All right?
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: Here you go?
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Usually there's like at least an hour of after
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: buying a car, You're like, this is a new life,
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: something exchanged.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: No, I have another car at his house. Now after this,
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna go over there, drive that car to like CarMax, Okay, right,
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: get as much as I can for that. I don't know,
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: five hundred dollars, I don't know. Broken transmission what that
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: does to a car value? Probably bad? And then ride
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: my bike back over here to this car. Then go
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: to the DMV get it fucking registered.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: I hate your day, yeah, and then call.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: Geico and get my insurance on this is just a
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: fucking hell day.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Where is Carmacks? Because I think, oh, that's I got
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: my bike? How how far off a bike ride? Is
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: that several miles?
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: Now that's not bad.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I mean probably like ten ten. You must be a
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: real bike rider.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I used to live like really close to here in
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Glass l and I would ride my bike every day
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: to work in Burbank. Oh that studio.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's about ten miles every day.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: It'd be about it's like, yeah, they're in back, was
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: like twenty eight each day.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Have you got a helmet on? Oh? Yeah, okay, good,
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I'd like to hear that. Ye. I haven't been on
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: a bike in a long time, and I almost got
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: pressured into riding one recently and I wasn't sure if
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: a helmet was going to come into play. Oh really,
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I was so scared.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Then it didn't happen, so I'm safe.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: I love Yeah, I love riding bike span It's my
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: favorite thing. It's my favorite way to get around town.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I uh, yeah, I can't remember. I guess I rode
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: one in Palm Springs briefly. It was more of a
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: casual through a neighborhood. So I think that that's the
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: one time I can ride without a helmet, Oh for sure.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: But I mean riding to Burbank, what are you doing, Like,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: what is that path even?
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: No, well there's a bike path.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: There's a bike path, yeah, right by the La River.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: It's really of course, I do a lot of walking.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that little bit's a perfect bike path.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: And I'm always in the way of a bike.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: We were Yeah, yeah, those people who scream around in
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: that bike path, they need to fucking check themselves, okay,
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: because they go by like.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Spoke, you know, spoken. Yeah, of course, little coffee bike.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Coffee, beer, fucking burgers, and people congregate outside there, and
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: people are doing like time trials, like right outside of it,
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: being like you're on the fucking thing.
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: I'm like, you gotta slow.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Down around here.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, that's not for time trials, no, exactly,
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: find your own little track. It's for everything. Yeah, casual walking,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: pushing a stroller for sure.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And people are bikes who get mad. It's like, dude,
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: we are the like I love riding bikes, so I
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: don't want to give people a bad fucking time with
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: a mic or whatever an experience.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: So I'm always like if a car like gets my
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: way a little bit, I'm like, that's okay, you're bigger
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: than me, you know. If somebody steps out, I'm like,
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: that's all right. Like I'm out there trying to put
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: out good vibes.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: For the bike people. I like to hear this because
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: it is a very sensitive subject between cars, bikes, and people.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I feel like we're all constantly mad at each other
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: and thinking it's the other person's fault and we're all
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: in danger of each other in a way. Yeah, And
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: I think it's because you're adrenaline is through the roof
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: in any of these situations, and so you're just immediately
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: ready to be mad at the other person, you know what.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: I I love Jurassic Park, the first one, and in
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: the opening scene where you see all the dinosaurs and
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: little dinosaurs running underneath big dinosaurs. I was always like,
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: that's so crazy, But then I realized that's what we do.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: That's a fucking highway with motorcycles and buses and semis.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: Like we're doing the opening in Jurassic Park every fucking day.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Have you been in a bike accident before? Oh?
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah what? Oh yeah a big time?
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: What happened?
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: So I'm rocking this basket life now. I got a basket,
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: That's what this is. Yeah, I brought my this is
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: this of the bike that goes in the front of
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: the in front of the bike. Yeah, I strapped it
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: and I didn't strap it down. Was riding, hit a pothole,
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: this guy bounced out. I went so I hit it,
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: went over the bars and like landed on my elbow.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is is this recent?
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah? This was fourth of July.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's a pretty red No, it sucks.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: So I thought I exploded at my elbow like truly.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: It was like, okay, this is this is like a
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: absolute like shattered elbow. So this is a terrible story.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: So I go to the I go to the emergency room.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: They do all this stuff. It's just turns out to
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: be like an intusion or something like just joint effusion
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: is what it was.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: Just Yeah, severe swelling out, swelling of the joint.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Great. And then that's when I found out they're, oh, yeah,
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: you're a health insurance ran out. You don't have health insurance.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh what the fall my god? Yeah, I
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: had eighteen thousand dollars check.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had no idea Like then I didn't have
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: health insurance. I had because we have sag forever.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: You knows, right, And then but these places will just
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: let you.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: They just let me good. I was like, you gotta
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: let me know.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: So what did you do?
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: I fucking med a.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Pant out of pocket?
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: How much is that cost?
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: I wasn't too bad, it was a few.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Thousand dollars okay, but still what a shock. I would
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: be so mad.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: I just feel dumber that I don't have health insurance
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: than anything. Made me feel like, really like a bad adult.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think in the entertainment industry, it can
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: happen at any moment.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, they were like, I like called sag and
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: they're like, yeah, you haven't made like enough money over
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: these last three years. I'm like, do you know what
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: the strike in the fucking Yeah?
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Could we mentioned the strike in the you know.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: The global pandemic? We were nobody?
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: You know, Okay, there have to be some exceptions to these.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I also, I feel like there's like a cap on
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: because you obviously contribute when you get paid for these things.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: And I feel like, isn't there like a cap Tom
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Cruise only pays up to so much. I think that's
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: that sort of person needs to be paying just as
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: much percentage as the rest of us.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Hey, that's that's good. That's good pology.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: I'm here to say this is I'm starting my platform
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: now and on based on something I barely know about
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: it and.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: I don't know anything about, like health insurance and stuff
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Well, I just saw that I think it was. I
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: could be wrong, like James Vanderbeek or something no longer
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: has health insurance and is now like selling merch for
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: his health insurance. It's like these I mean, God bless
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: these guilds in these unions for a lot of things,
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: but sometimes it's like maybe a little more protection. Well
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: it's also the country's fault.
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, no, anyway, Yeah, I have been in a
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: bike wreck and it sucked.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Was there blood everywhere?
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: No, it was. I was actually this is like a
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: really good shout out for Patagonia. I was wearing a
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Patagonia like jacket and it's like my I hit my
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: elbow in my feeling my skin broke, but not the
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: fucking jacket. It stayed intact. So holding blood in this jacket,
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I'm like, this is a good this's a good jack.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: It's a great bandit.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So it was just like a lot of blood
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: all over my jacket.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Do you still have the jacket. Oh yeah, this is
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: a blood stain.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah for sure, that's good.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: That's kind of exciting.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: My buddy Mike Burns, he's a really good comic. He
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: got stabbed one time outside his house. He got robbed
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: and they stabbed him in.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: The back and what oh yeah, well we'll look at
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: in a minute.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: But yeah, stabbed him. Uh and he would he would
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: wear that jacket later. And he had a cool old knife.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, the coolest possible hole you can have.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: It was a very cool worn in jacket.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I mean what time of dated he get stambed? Night? Yeah,
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: I guess that's that's when most of the stabbings go.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: And did they get away with anything? Uh?
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they didn't catch the guy took his wallet and.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: They took his wallet. Yeah wow, I mean that's a
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I mean a high stakes thing to take somebody's wallet.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: He's like, when the guy stabbed him, Burns said, he goes,
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: you fucking stabbed me.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Just take whatever you want. He hurt me. I would
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: give up anything before being staffed. Right, Well, that's a
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: bad robbery.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, don't just don't stab, just threaten. Threaten.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Start with a nice threat, thre and then go from there.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: If you're not willing to give up the money, then
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: maybe turned to actual violence. Yes, I don't know.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Have you ever been uh like in a bad accident.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Have I been in a bad accident? Uh? If I have,
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I've forgotten it. Would I've been in a during the pandemic,
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: I got rear ended by a man. I can't say
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: his full name. His middle name was Mallory, and he
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: was very sweet about it. I started crying, even though
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: he just but it's just like a shock of like, oh,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know what's happening.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: No, it's weird, like getting in a car wreck because
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: you feel safe in your car and you're like, these
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: can get hit.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: They can get hit all the time. Yeah, And I
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: mean I started getting really scared of being on planes,
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: and I just keep reminding myself, well, I'm way more.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I'm such a risk in my car to myself and
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: others all the time, So hopefully this is okay.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: That's how I feel about plane crashes. I'm like that
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: that's the way to go, because it's not your fault.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: It's not your fault.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's all. Whenever I die, I wanted people to
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: not be like that's what you get.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Pretty embarrassing.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a plane crash, you due like you
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: don't even experience it. Essentially, it'll be a little light
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: screaming and it's over.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: I think my last words. But I always try to
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: be too cool, you know, Like I truly it was
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: like this plane goes down, people would be screaming. I'd
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: be I think my last words would be like this
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: is lame, you Like, I would just try to like
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: under like no, thank you to this.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Like why yeah, yeah, I don't know. I do think
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I would be probably the worst person on the plane
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: ever and be like, just relax, shut up, we're having
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: a hard enough time on here already, stop screaming. I
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: was last year we were flying back from we were
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: on I think it's called aer Lingus. It's an Irish airline.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it's a bad airline.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, for sure.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: The scariest flight of my entire life. People were screaming
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: on it. And what I ended up doing is like
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: I said, I'm just going to put on some music
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: I really enjoy and die to this.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: Oh wow.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: And then we landed and everything was fine, But it
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: was to have people clap after landing because they thought
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: everyone was going to die. It's such a feeling, that's crazy.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. One time I was flying from like Iowa to
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: uh to like Austin or something, you know, and then
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: you're going to get some not a lot like LA
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: to New York. Like everybody's they we make this trip
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: often constantly. But you fly out of you know, Cedar Rapids,
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: you're gonna get a couple first time flyings, right, And
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: I was a first time flyer, and see when I
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: grew up in Cedar, I was there. But like we
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: hit a little turbule incident. This woman screamed out, let
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: christ blood be on this plane?
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: And I was like, what's amazing?
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Holy any what?
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah? What is that even supposed to I don't know,
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: I've never heard something like that.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: Let Christ's blood be on this plane.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's that feels like she wants it to go down.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I don't know, man, it's so gothic.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: It was crazy.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Good for her. Yeah, I'm gonna start screaming that constant.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Any sort of inconvenience, let Christ's blood be in this podcast.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: That's merge. Have you been to Mexico City? No, I
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: was there last week and I went to a This
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: is totally just a left turn, but I went to
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: a Lucha libre wrestling match.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Have you been to any professional wrestling before?
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: A lot I've been to. Yeah, I love pro wrestling.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: I've been at the Lucha Libre one here in La
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: that they do. Yeah, it's every Halloween. I've got a
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: couple of times. It's the freakin' best.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: What a feeling. Yeah, I even felt so I've never
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: felt so free to boo and I was on top
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: of the world.
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, I love pro wrestling.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: To just get to actively boo something.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: I mean, a Mexico City Pro wrestling event that's gonna be.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: So fun, incredible. Yeah, and they've got the dancing ladies,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: they've got, I mean, everything about it was unlike anything
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I could have possibly imagined.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: That's really fun. That's a very fun story that you have. Now,
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: that's more fun than being in an accident.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: So I think it's a one to one. I was, okay,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: how many, Like when did you start going to wrestling?
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: That just as an adulter a kid.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: Eighth grade, probably as a group in Iowa. So it's
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: not like they're really rocking through there. A lot, right,
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: But I remember like seeing like the Undertaker versus like Caine.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: That's very like.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: Seventh grade. I remember I bought a stone cold VHS
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: and a stone cold middle finger instead of number one
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: of he's giving the finger. And then I left my
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: stone cold VHS, which was like forty bucks at in
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: my seats at the five Season Center and Cedar Rapids,
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: and like I had to like beg them to let
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: me back in so I could go get my stone cold.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: They let you get back, Yeah, they do. It's a
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: valuable frantic guy. Where's the Undertaker?
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Now?
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Do you think.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Heavily in politics and religious and has the podcast that
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: Trump did the other day? I know exactly. I wish
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: I didn't know where the Undertaker.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Was Undertaker that show.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: The Undertaker is a very right wing politics and he's
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: into Jesus.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Now what's his actual name?
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Fuck? What is this? Oh gosh, I feel like an
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: asshole for not knowing this because I've been you know.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Every other detail about his biography?
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: Well fuck, what is his name? The Undertaker? Can Uh,
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: I'll look it up.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Mark William Calloway, Mark.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: Calloway first, Mark Mark Ye, Mark Mark the Undertaker.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, uh, dude. Trump did his podcast and it was
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: like Trump was just asking him about pro wrestling, and
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: it was like the most engaged I've ever seen Donald Trump.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: He was like, what happened? Have you ever really been hurt?
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: He's like yeah a couple of times. And I was like,
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: this is where Trump should be.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: He should be doing this, doing the former wrestling podcast, asking.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Questions old people ask to cool rest.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, that's really interesting. And does the Undertaker still
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: wear makeup or anything? Or is he like now got
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: a mouse cut? No suit?
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Now, I don't think he's just rocking a suit, but
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: all normal ship still you know, the dark under Underlord
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: or whatever.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: That's a real that's uh, that's hard to hear. That's
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: hard to hear. Are there any pro wrestlers that have
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: taken a good turn or mcfully?
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he came out hard, like I love this ship.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Mcfully came out. He's like, I respect the Undertaker, I
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: respect them. We have different opinions, but like he's wrong,
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: you know, like there's like ex wrestlers like beefing about politics.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: It's great.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Wow, I really like that. I'm trying to think of
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: other Kine.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: Is a fucking uh he's like a mayor of like Knoxville, Tennessee,
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: like ran for governor and ship.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I mean Jesse Ventura, I guess is the most famous
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: all of them. He did a great turn.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: He was probably maybe one of the first to really
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: like yeah, like he.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Straight up got whole coke and to be like, I'm
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: gonna be president for real because like the body is
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: a governor, I'm a hulk. I can do president. And truthfully,
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: it only took like four more years before like different
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: reality star was like adi president.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Called for all of that to kind of flow out
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: of professional wrestling.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: They're great.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: None of us could have ever ever possibly expected this
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: to happen.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: Now, who else?
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, Karl Malone was not a he was more
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: of a guest star. I remember him being in him
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: and Dennis Rodman, oh right, yeah, kind of that weird
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: crossover for a time. Who else did I kind of
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: is those the only ones I can name. I guess
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Jake's Snake because he's still alive.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: Jake the Snake is in and out of like I
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: think so Diamond Dallas Page runs like this really great
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: rehab place. Okay, I think Jake the Snake moved in
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: there and got sober.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Wow. And do you rehab just for wrestlers.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know. It's called DDP yoga. He teaches yoga. Yeah,
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: and uh, save like you know, saving lives.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I want to hear about more good things that former
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: pro wrestlers are doing.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Diamondalla's page is crushing it.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: I think he's probably the most influential because, like, know, wrestlers,
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: it's just such a fucking crazy job. You know, you
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: get addicted to pills, you have to go out.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: There wrestling getting kind of slamm Yeah.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Well still, I mean back pain and ship and then
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: DDP like teachers how to do yoga and be sober.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: And I'm like so lovely to rocks, so lovely to hear.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Did you ever wrestle in middle or high school? Uh?
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: And like actual wrestling?
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was like my whole life. Oh reason, Yeah,
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: my entire life was like college Olympic wrestling.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: How did we stumble upon this? This is wonderful. I
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: mean Iowa I was wrestling place.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: My brother is the head coach of West de mooin Valley,
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: which is the biggest high school in Iowa for wrestling. Okay,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: I was just at a wrestling a couple of wrestling
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: tournaments two weeks ago.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: My nephews incredible, and they're both the wrestlers.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: All three of them are, yeah, wrestling. There's three of
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: them wrestling.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: I two of the brothers who are really good. They
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: wrestled in college. I was decent, but like I wasn't
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: good enough to wrestle division one, So I'm like, I
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: don't know, I'm not gonna go to division three.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Right, No? No, no no.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: And the movie that's that movie Fox Catch Shirt. Does
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: that take place in Iowa?
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: No, that's in Pennsylvania. That's John du pont.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: I remember when uh fucking Dave Schultz was killed, Like
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: I remember the day. It was nineteen ninety five, and
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: my brother came home crying because he was his favorite wrestler.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: He's like, Dave Schultz got fucking murdered, and I was like,
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: what did He was making a comeback for the Olympics
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: in ninety six. I was all jacked up for that, right.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I have kind of like a weird memory of
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: sitting in the dentist office as a kid, like flipping
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: through Newsweek and seeing that.
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it was fucking crazy.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a what an end to all of that.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Fox Catcher was decent.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: It was good. It was a good movie. I liked
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: It's the wrestling community like it's so fucking up its
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: own ass. They're like, that's not really realistic. I'm like,
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: shut up, we have a movie.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Well did they get wrong about it? Does Steve Carell
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: have some sort of prosthetic?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Was it?
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Ye?
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: A weird nose?
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: There's nose? Is okay? Yeah? I wonder what they got
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: wrong about it?
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean Hollywood told the story about it like
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: a really beloved American wrestler, and then so the resting
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: community is like, that's not what I don't know any
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: people who know too much about something. They're like, it's
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: not what happened, and we're.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Ready to an idiot. They had to get it into
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: under two.
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: Hours, Yeah, yeah exactly.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: And they had to make Steve Carell seem kind of likable.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, they were like they like made his murder
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: like likable or whatever. I'm like, yeah, that's fair. I
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: had one of the best days. Did you ever ever, like,
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: have you ever had like a perfect in New York day?
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Of course?
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: So Fox Catcher was part of my perfect New York
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: day one time.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: What else happened?
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: I was just walking and I knew that movie was
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: coming out or in like are they were making it
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: or something? And I was walking in on Houston in
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: the Lower East Side. I like dropped my girlfriend off
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: at her job, like walked her to work, and I
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: had like the week off of s and all that
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: week and was just walking and then I saw like this,
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: this theater I really like called Sunshine Theater. It's not
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: around anymore, but it was perfect. It was on Houston
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: and like a okay, it was just like the perfect
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: shitty theater. You can bring whatever you want in here.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: And I saw Fox Catcher. I was like Fox Sketcher's out.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: It was like a Tuesday. I'm like, it's a fucking out.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Like I'm so dialed into this world. And I was like,
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: this is great. I went to the Whole Foods, got
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: like two beers, like two fun beers, and like threw
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: them in my pocket, went in empty theater. Oh, Fox Catcher,
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: middle of the day, two fun beers.
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: I like walked down. I was like, New York is
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: a magical city.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: Oh that's so low.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: It was so fun.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, that sounds wonderful.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I had kind of a I wouldn't say bad, but
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: should have been better. In New York Day. A couple
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: of months ago, I went to this place called I've
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: kind of talked too much about on this podcast Heart Island.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Have you heard of this where they bury all of
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: the unclaimed bodies. What they buried like a million bodies
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: there where it's like up near the Bronx. You have
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: to take a little ferry to it. They just kind
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: of opened it to the public for the last year.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: But and I was very excited to go. They've ripped.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: There was also like a like an insane asylum there.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: At one point there was a sanatorium.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: Okay a kid, everybody lives. There's gonna be crazy. It's
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: a very spooky bodies everywhere.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: They tore down all the spooky building, which I wanted
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: to see.
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it used to be a school, then it became
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: an insane is only came.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: To the carnival. This is crazy, But we went out.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: We went out there. The wind was blasting. I ended
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: up with a horrible cold. It was not the experience
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I was looking for. It was not a perfect New
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: York Day. But I had to do it on Murder Island.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, it just wasn't as fun as I thought.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: No shit, it wasn't kind of the light breezy day
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I was expecting. Yah. I'm trying to think if I've
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: ever like what really great New York days I've had?
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: There are usually ones where you're just stumbling around and
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: find exactly.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: You can't plan it.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: You just like, holy shit, yeaheah, like, oh here's something
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I want to eat everything, so we easy.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: It's also like, look, I don't love New York, but
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: it is like the only city where you, in the
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: middle of the day can run into somebody completely on
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: accident and then you're both just like you want to
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: fuck around.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: All day, no feeling of the there's nothing like it.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this is gonna happen in LA.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I've tried to force it.
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you can't force it.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: You can't. No one will get into it. I've even
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: tried to force like, because another thing I love about
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: New York is just like tech. Someone you want to
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: get dinner now, right, you want to do something now.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: I've tried that here, maybe one in a hundred times.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Does it work?
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: Dude?
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: I had my other friend Carmen Christopher. The other day.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: I hit him up before the show. I was like,
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: do you want to get dinner? And he was like,
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: day of plans. I'm busy.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, it makes me so mad.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: We're going to the same show.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Do you want to go doing? Yeah? Yeah, I just
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: think that if we all kind of just got on
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: the same page, we just accepted that that could happen.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: It's possible.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: It is possible.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: I've seen it happen once, so I'm just be able
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: to happen again.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's very frustrating for me because sometimes you just
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: have the afternoon You're like, why don't I do something?
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Absolutely? Yeah, that's I mean, yeah.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Here, it's just like, well you'll be doing that thing
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: alone for sure.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: What I do love about LA the reason I live
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: here and love it and don't live in New York
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: City is I like California.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: Like I like being able to be like I don't
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: get anything tomorrow.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: I can go to Joshua Tree tonight right right and
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: just fuck around Like That's what I like.
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: But in New York You're like, I gotta stay here.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: You're kind of trapped on Yes, it's an island and yeah,
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: like any out has to be a complete plan.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, truly. I was having a melt I was having
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: like a meltdown over Thanksgiving, like what the year one
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: of the years I was living there, and I was like,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: I just got to get the fuck out of here.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: There's no rental cars, so I had to rent a
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: van and then drove it, drove like a fucking like
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: a U haul van like I was supposed to. I
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: was like, I just gotta leave. Me and my girlfriend
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: just drove it out to like, you know, some shitty
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: lake like fucking I don't know, and the cat skills
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: and it's awful and it sucks so bad, but.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: We're like this is nice, Like of course it feels incredible. Matter.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: I was like, if I drove from LA to this lake,
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: I would be like gross ruined. Yeah, but out of
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: New York, I'm like, this is an incredible lake.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: In a U all. Yeah, did you sleep in the van? No?
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: I had a tent a lot right.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: You're a very outdoorsy person, Yeah, I dig it. How
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: often are you camping?
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: At least once a month?
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Wow? That's incredible. Yeah, And is it mostly spontaneous camping
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: or is it?
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, it's like that's why my old car broke is.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: I just had kind of a little freak out and
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: drove to fucking Canada, camping along the way.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, we're in Canada, Whistler, okay, like north
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: of Vancouver. Oh sure, I feel like I've seen some
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: beautiful photos.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like my go to is anytime I'm like
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: have a big life change, am I get me the
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: fuck out of here for a little bit. Yeah? I
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: like went through breakup, got sad and was like I
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: could I need to go be alone for a minute.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Oh I wish I had the confidence in myself to
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: do that. You have to build up to it, right, Yeah,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: but I just I feel like I could easily be
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: attacked by any animal and taken down. Yep, it doesn't
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: matter the size. Yeah. So that's my big fear.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: It is scary camping alone, like in Grizzly Country.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Have you had any like close encounters with animals?
• 25:50
  Speaker 6: Mm?
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: I mean I got charged it by like an elk.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: I think that counts. Yeah.
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: I was at the Grand Canyon and I got too close.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: How far away was it?
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: Dude?
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: It like came at me hard, like I don't know
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: it like touched me.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: It touched you dove into a bush.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: It's like Elmer, Yeah, I was like the fuck, Yeah.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Did it hurt you? Now?
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: The bush hurt me?
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Okay? Sure?
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But with camping, like I've seen, I've seen a
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: lot of bears, but never like when I those always
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: like I'm in my car and there's like a bear
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: on this like somewhere, you know, right, never just run
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: into a bear.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Right. I've seen a bear in person in Alaska, but
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: it was from Afar. And where'd you go to Alaska?
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: I wish I could remember. It was in I think
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: it was in tenth grade. I want with my dad,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: my brother and I mean really the only detail of
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: this trip is that it wasn't an Airbnb at the time.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: It was like some ladies thing or whatever. But my
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: brother had to borrow her computer to get on eBay.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: This was long before like anyone had their own laptop.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: And then we stumbled into her online life, which was
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: her name was Lusty Lady Linda, oh, and just all
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: of these things, and she'd like been like it wasn't
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: even googling at that point. Maybe it was like googling
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: like camera showers or shower cameras, So it's like, who
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: knows what footage is out there of me as a
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: tenth grader. Jesus, it might be in Lady Lusty Ladies eBay.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: In at last he was selling Pokemon cards. He worked
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: at what was called Software et cetera. It's no game
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Stop or whatever, and I think he and his like
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: coworker were like stealing boxes of Pokemon cards from the
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: company and selling them on.
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: I yeah, I used to work at this cave.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: I was a tour guy at a cave crystal a
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: cave and outside the Bukeuy a dream job? No, No,
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: not a dream job. I thought it would be a
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: dream drop truly, honestly worst job I ever had my
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: whole fucking life. What the only job I've ever been
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: driving there and thought, if I wreck my car, I
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: don't have to go to work. I would rather deal
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: with the wrecked car than going to fucking jobs. I
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: tried to quit a bunch and the lady would be like,
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: sometimes you just do stuff you don't want to do
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: in life, and I'd be like, all right, I'll be here, yeah,
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: and she would like call my house and leave messages
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: being like Brooks, you have a shift tomorrow. You know
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: it was fucking awful, dude, to be like eight hour shifts,
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: you give one two or every thirty minutes. It's also
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: a tourist trap, so everyone's coming through is disappointed. You
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: just have to look at their faces while they were like,
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: what the fuck am I doing here? I just got
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: ripped off, and I'm like, sorry, let's walk around this tunnel.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: Someone dug out for thirty minutes and then at the end,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna put five dollars in my hand and ask
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: for a tip. And I got one in a whole
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: fucking year, and dude, and like when it was so awful,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: then as soon as you get out of that cave,
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: there's another cue of people ready to go. So you
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: just in the minds all day giving this, giving fucking
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: sixteen tours that are awful, the most boring shit in
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: the world. And the lady was Nina's Hell and she
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: would say like she would also listen to fucking Casey
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Kase and like bubblegum pop. So anytime I hear any
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: sixties pop, I'm like, I'm back in the cave. I
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: fucking hate this. It's it's such a trigger, and this
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: woman every time she pissed me off, I made a rule.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm fucking stealing something from her. So my
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: trunk was just nothing but cave artifacts and like shirts
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: and souvenirs and like dumb knickknacks and birds and stuff.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: And my mom one time she like found my cash
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: of all the cave stuff and she was like, what
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: do you why do you have all this?
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: Let's plan for any of that is, what do you
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: have this?
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: And I was like, they give it to me at
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: the cave. And she said, if I call the cave,
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: will they say that they gave you these items? And
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: I said, don't call the cave.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: How do you call the cave?
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: Oh you could call the cave.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: There's a sticking phone ringing in that's empty.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I have this whole other side podcast up called
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: Entry Level about early jobs, and the whole through line
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: for this fucking thing is me getting out my frustration
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: about the cave, and listeners have gone on tours of
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: the cave. You can go to her, and every single
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: fucking review back to me is it's worse than you said.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: Oh you're kidding.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: Every single person's like it's worse. It's actually worse than
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: I thought it could be.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: How are they getting people into this cave? You go
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: into a gift show, Like, how are they advertising it
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: to get anyone in there? If it's such a trap?
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: It sounds they're promising crystals.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: Crystal Lake Cave. There's a tiny, little fucking puddle in there.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: It feuds with the Field of Dreams. She had dreams
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: because the Field.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Of Dreams is like dreams are real from another tourist
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: traps that made famous by the was it they built
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: it for the movie? Okay, for the movie. The ghosts
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: weren't there prior to the movie.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: No, So she would be like sometimes she's like, I've
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: bet a Field of Dreams. It's fucking busy today, you know,
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: Like this is the first show I ever sold was
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: It was called Crystal Lake Cave, Nature's Masterpiece. It was
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: about a family who owns that cave.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Let's get that back in the market.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: I would love to.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: I mean it's probably been a few years.
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: Just yeah, I told him, I was like twenty three.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: All of those executives are dead.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Comedy Central in fact, is dead. I mean those
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: people all yeah, a long time because it was for
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: Comedy Central, and I was like, this is great.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: It's time to bring it back to the market. I
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: think now more than ever, we need a cave show.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well just it was about feuding tourist traps. Yeah.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: And were you excited when you first got that job.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: I thought it was gonna fucking rock.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Had you been in the caves to it?
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, so this I thought it was gonna be so cool.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: And then like immediately pond walking in, You're just like,
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: this is kind of a dark, damp thing.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: It was awful. Yeah. My friend Sam Wilson worked there too,
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: and we had this idea. We both hate it working
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: there so fucking much. We're fifteen and a half. We
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: hated it, and we had this idea where we're like,
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: because one of us would open and the other one
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: would close, and what we were gonna do was we're
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: gonna keep the key because you'd have to turn it
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: in or whatever, but we were gonna keep the key.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: He closes, We're gonna go get a copy made, and
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: then he's gonna give me the copy it so when
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: I open, I have the key, and now we have
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: the key to the fucking cave. This is he and
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: then in ten years we're gonna go in there with
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: bats and break everything. That's how we were like when
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: we're twenty five, I think enough time will pass it.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: They won't think it's us, but we need to break this.
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: We need to destroy this fucking place.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: Wait, so did you get an extra key?
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: No, sam Plitt had for himself. He staid for himself.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: When I tried to quit a couple of times, she's like, no.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: He's trapped here. And wait, she was playing the music
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: through the cave, so she's like playing when you.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: Go into Yeah, leader of the pack that's in the
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: gift shop, just blasting. I was like, can we listen
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: to other music? And she goes, when you want a business,
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: you can listen. What do you want to listen to?
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Did she own the cave? Yes? How do you own
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: a cave? Hey?
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: Fucking dug it out.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: That's the one one bit of real estate she owns.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: It's all underground. The teenagers hate.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And like when I went somebody told me recently
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: because I do talk about the cave lot, they were like, hey,
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: the woman died that you were talking about. I was like,
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: oh shit, And then I was like, ah, you know
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: that's how. And I look and this was so long ago.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: It was like her daughter had passed away. Like they
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: were like, we didn't even know there was an older one.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: I go, oh, there's a meaner one.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the whole family's dance.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think so. But because I did go back, uh,
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: I went back a few years ago to be like,
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: what's this all about? You know? I was like been
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: talking about a lot on the pod did like a
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: pod from outside and went in. I was like, I
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: used to do give tours here and they're like okay.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: I was like could I go down? And they're like
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: twenty dollars like you no way, oh absolutely yes that happened.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: Wouldn't let me even poke my head in there. Twenty dollars.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Twenty dollars just a lot to go through a bad cave, to.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: Go through a bad cave. My family came one time
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: when I was given tours and they were visiting from Missouria.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: I was like, can I show them the cave and
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: she's like absolutely yes. It was nine dollars and she's
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: like nine dollars person.
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I can't exp discount, no, no one please,
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: Like it's just me and her like, oh, fucking squirrel
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: one time drank a bunch of fermented fruit and got
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: hammered because it was all like fucking boozed up, and
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: she was like, oh, sh had the squirrels drunk again?
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: I'm like this guy again.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: This is my favorite cave on Earth.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: I love a snake got loose. Snakes were in the
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: cave one time. She gave me a rake and said
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: take care of it. I did go in a hole
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: to fight snakes here. I didn't do that though I
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: was down there kidding you.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Job is worth fighting a snake for. Have you been
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: in any good caves?
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: Now? It's ruined for me.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, to have the whole concept of caves ruined, absolutely ruined.
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, people are you should go to Carlsbad Cavern.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go there so bad. I love
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: the idea of caves and I never go in.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: A cave underground warned you kind of.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Do expect them to be like more like Hobbit or
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: you know, exciting, and then you get in one window
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: it's just rock. Yeah, just underground rock. Have you been
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: to an underground cave or wow lake?
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: Underground lake?
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, this is my dream to go to an under
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: I don't know what that is.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's I've done that. Yeah, in like uh outside
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: of Tuloom, this place called Coba Snows. You go down
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: like basically a well and it opens up into this
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: fucking huge cavern and you swim in there.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: That to me is amazing. Yeah, it was really cool.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: I would love to be a life guarded an underground lake.
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: Oh those the ones in Mexico do not have the
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: lifeguard And.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Actually that is the one lifeguard job that makes sense
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: for my as someone who could. Yes, so we so
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: easily burned. So if anyone's looking for an underground lifeguard, that's.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: A good idea, not a bad idea. It's also fun
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: when people are like, so what are you doing, You're like,
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: I'm a lifeguard. Leave out the undergroundard Like, no fucking way.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: That feels like a new bay Watch spinoff. Yeah, theay
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: Watch Beneath Earth. They've got two. Then maybe that's a
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: spin off of your show that we're going to take
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: back to the market.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: I like this you're saying. I think we're spinning some ideas.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: And also I don't even need to get the rights
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: to Crystal Lake cave because they will not know that
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: the show happens.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: I will get it to them.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: I've talked about this cave so fucking much and they
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: have never I used to email them.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: They like the closest thing they have to modern pop
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: culture is like mister Postman.
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wait what the song? Oh oh yes, yeah, of
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: course I've blocked all that shit out. I used to
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: prank email her, like asking if I could rent out
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: the cave and stuff. I want to have paint so
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: I want to have a paintball tournament down there. Yeah.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: She'd be like, no, did you ever get close to booking.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: And you can't book a cave? She wouldn't not even available.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: I was just a wedding under in the cave.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: I should find these emails because it always like it
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: was like, I was like, you should you should publish those?
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was I think.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: I was like, We're gonna have her family reunion at
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: the cave, and she's like, you can't have your family
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: reunion at the cave and go try and stop us.
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: You don't know what we look like.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Incredible? Yeah, well, I honestly could talk to you for
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: the next three hours about caves. Yes, but we have
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: to move on.
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I gotta go to sell a car.
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, you've got to get insurance, et cetera. And there's
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: something way more important that I need to talk about,
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: something way more upsetting, at least for me, which the
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: podcast is called.
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: I said no gifts, yeah, and I know you said it,
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: but I just.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: Decided to be awful today. You woke up and decided
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: to ruin my day. I did you brought three gifts
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: to the podcast?
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: Well, they're a set.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's a set, so it counts as one gift.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I found it moving, you found it moving. Yeah,
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: I just moved as well.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, they're beautifully wrapped, like three little cylinders wrapped in tinfoil. Yes,
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: and I assume if I unwrapped one, i'll know what
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: the other two are. Are they Well, they're slightly different,
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: they're slightly different varia. So let's open this one first.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: I don't think we've ever unwrapped tinfoil on the podcast.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: I was at wits house and I said, you got
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: anything for these things? So this is fun.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Oh? Well, the first one I've opened is a Belgian
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: ale mustard. Yeah, I love a variation of mustard. Okay,
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: are these. Should I open the other two first? Or
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: should we talk about this one?
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: No, you should open them all real quick.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, we've got the BELGIANEO yep, and it's a I
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: truly think that these are fun hickory farms. Yeah, I
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: truly love mustard. Okay, so what's this one? Is this
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: another mustard?
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Spicy serracha mustard? Yeah, I've never I've had mustard and
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: seracha separately, but never together me either, neither of you,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: and you never will. And then there's this third one.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: I like that tinfoil sound.
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what do we got here with this one?
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: This one's a honey pineapple mustard tartan hangy fun.
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so you've got three types of mustard.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Fantastic? And was this I assume this game is a
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: little set.
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: I have no fucking idea how I have THO.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: When did these expire? That's a good thing, right question? Okay,
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: so fully explore boy?
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah it's ah, yeah, these are.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: A few months. There's a lie of twenty four Okay.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: I feel like mustard is one of those things that
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: can probably go longer. I've been reading a lot recently
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: about how expiration dates are kind of a fraud. Kind
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: of a scam, absolutely most of them. It's just like
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: it might not taste as good.
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: That's a big mustard right there, just trying.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: They just wanted to buy more bottles of mustard. That's
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: Hickory Farms wanting you to get back to the mall.
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no idea, how I have these or why I
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: have them?
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: Wayne?
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: I got them?
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: Uh so they've just been Were they just in your
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: cupboard or something?
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: Yep?
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Do you do a lot of cooking at home? Yeah, okay, so.
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: These but mustard. I'm not a mustard.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: I don't like mustard.
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: I don't dislike it, but I'm not a mustard front.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: Mustard's an interesting thing to have a home, I would say,
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: because it's like something you put on like hot dogs,
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: and you're not unless you're cooking a ton of hot
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: dogs at home. How often are you?
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: I know, what's this type of mustard on my hot dog?
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: No? You don't want to spicy serracha, right, Let's just
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: be honest. That seems like a bad concept because I
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: would put serracha on a lot of things. I would
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: put mustard on hot dogs. I don't make hot dogs
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: at home, So now I just have a thing that
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: I would kind of almost want to use, right, what
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: would you put.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: I think these would be great for like a deli
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: sandwich you know you're making?
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, do you have you?
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: I do this sometimes around like I'm gonna save money
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: and I'm going to make sandwiches at home, and I
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: spend fucking eighty dollars on all the sandwich stuff.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, I should have just the trap I fall.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, should just bought a fucking sandwich, Yes.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: I could have. But let's see, well, probably four sandwiches.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: A really good one. Now I have white bread.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have started. I've finally broken the cycle. At
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: least every three weeks I go to Costco and get
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: a chicken. Oh wow, and then I use that for
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: sandwiches throughout the week.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: That's great.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: But then the rest of the time I don't make
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: anything at home. But this, at least one of these
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: mustards could go on that chicken. Absolutely probably, I would
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: probably say probably the most normal on this Belgian Ah,
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: that probably tastes like mustard the most, right.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: I don't know what you would put honey pineapple mustard.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: On again, probably maybe a spicy sausage.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh, that's good.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it is. Again. I'm not making sausage at
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: home ever, but now I might have a little excuse
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: to go crazy.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: You can off on somebody else's podcast.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Might put these in the back of a cupboard, Yeah,
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: and just let them rot and then show up again.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Do you ever go to Worstcuca Downtown?
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: I have, but I have not in a long time.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Incredible mustard selection there. I'm going crazy. I mean I
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: ordered one sausage, but I use probably all seven mustards
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: throughout the meal.
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: So there's a new German beer garden in Echo Park.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Oh what's it called.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: It's called like bomb me or like it's it's Vietnamese, Oh,
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: Vietnamese meats. But it's also called Sunset beer Garden.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's two different names.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I call it Sonset beer Garden because I don't
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: know Vietnamese. But it's right, and it's harder for me
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: to memorize, sure, a new Vietnamese word versus beer garden,
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: which is what it is. But they have sausages there
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: and only one mustard, and I'm like, I guess that's
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: what I want. I like this.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: What kind of mustard do they have there?
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: Like a fucking German mustard.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know German mustard. This feels like a confused
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: concept to me so far. Oh I need to go there.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Do they have other Vietnamese food? Yeah, it's good, dude,
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: I love a good bond me no bomb me though,
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: what Vietnamese food?
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: Do they have fish? Fish sausages? Okay, that's good, that
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: might be it. Then they have a lot of other
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: German stuff?
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: Does a fish sausage? My theory with sausages you can
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: put literally anything into and it's gonna taste almost the
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: same every time.
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I have no problem eating like a vegan hot.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Dog right exact because it's a perfect vegan food.
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: I'm like the other one is weird too.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's just a bunch of gross stuff mashed into
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: a thing.
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: Tim Robinson was talking about maybe like he loves he's
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: a vegetarian, he loves vegetarian dogs. You're like maybe gonna
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: like open up place or something like that. That's a
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: great I was like, you should put up the ingredients
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: to a real hot dog next to Oh.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll get the vegetarian one every time exactly.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: Just be like, here's what's in a real hot dog.
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: And then this one is pretty good.
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: Tastes just the same.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: They taste like the spices or the salt. Yeah, I
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: just need spice and salt. Yeah, I and I never
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: order a vegetarian one, and I'm always worried about my cholesterol.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: What what am I doing? I got to get into it.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: So what are you putting on your when you do
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: get a hot dog or a sausage?
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: I love hot dogs, you know.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: Anytime I'm in a place as a hot dog, I
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: gotta try it. How do you feel about hot dogs?
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: I like hot dogs, you know, not at home, but
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: I'll go to what's that place called doghouse?
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I used to work next to one of those,
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: and I had to stop going because they're so unhealthy.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's unbelievably bad for you. Yeah, but I like
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: a corn dog there even. Oh wow, how often you're
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: just going as an adult to a restaurant and ordering
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: a corn dog?
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah that's a good idea.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: Delicious, dipping it in some mustard, eating some tatar tots.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, those tots are fucking fantastic. Yeah.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: I never drink root beer, but that's the one place
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: I'm tempted. But I'm like this makes kind of sense.
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, if you're gonna go all in jump in.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, give me that candy drink. So like, I love
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: a Chicago dog, Oh sure, vegetable love.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: I love a steamed bun.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know that I've ever had a steam bun.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: That sounds a little wet.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: Oh no, it's great. It's anytime you have a hard bun.
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: I'm like, what are we doing?
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Is it damp?
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: Not just feels good? You never had a fucking steam button.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: Maybe I was tricked, or maybe I'll probably just was.
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: I'm just like really aware when you have like a
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: a hard bottom, like this is fucking dry.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: This is ship.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: Kind of packing material text. Sure, yeah, maybe I've had
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: a lot of steam buns, but you're not aware of it. Yeah. Interesting, Yeah,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Chicago dog. I just love a plane hot dog with
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: a little mustard dog ketchup. I'm not crazy about a ketchup.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: It's too sweet on a hot dog. I only like
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: a French fry and a ketchup.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: Yes, I agree with you so much. I got an
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: argument with my girlfriend because she made like veggie nuggets
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: like an air fryer and was dibbing them in ketchup
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: and well, what are you three?
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: That's child behare Yes, that's what I said.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: I said, this is child behavior.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: And she was like.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: I was like, you needed like a sweet and sour,
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: you had to create some but just a straight up
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: chicken nugget and a ketchup.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: That's like at the cafeteria elementary school and you don't
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: know how to work. That's okay, you're drinking chocolate. Well,
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: I hope you convinced her otherwise that her taste is wrong.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: I mean, like you have a fine palette.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, chicken nugget has to go in a barbecue sauce ranch.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: People doing it in honey. I don't know what I
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: can do honey mustard, honey mustard. See, but it's a
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: little bit. There's a little bit of everything.
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: Well the chicken tender, dude, dream chicken tender situation. Here
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: you dip it in the ranch and then you also
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: have buffalo sauce and then you double Are you kidding me?
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: That's my ultimate thing?
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: That's good.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: Where are you getting a chicken tender in la? I
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: I don't think I've ever had one here?
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: Have you been to Hell and rays?
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, unbelievable, very good, the best I think the
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: best chicken tender in the world. Maybe really okay, I
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: mean as far as I'm concerned. And their employees are
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: so sweet there, it's almost it's starting to feel like
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: a religion or something. These people really love being here
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: and there. It feels like they're trying to draw me
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: into something that I'm not aware of yet, but I
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: adore it. Love.
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: And I just moved to Echo Park and there's a
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: brand new Buffalo Wild Wings, like really too close to me.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: And since it's brand new, they're treating it nice.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: They still care for the next three months.
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: Yes, so because you go to a Buffalo Wild Wings
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: where they gave up, that's bad. Oh it could not.
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: It's really bad. But I do like this new Buffalo
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: Wild Wings. I love Asian zing and some ranch.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's one's nice. What is the Asian zing.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: It's like a zip.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: That seems like it's a sweet, sour, borderline problematic sauce
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: that's probably gonna get changed. That feels like, uh, like
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: with Chinese chicken salad. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, that was
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: invented by a white lady at some point.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: And yeah, do you know the real story of cashew chicken,
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: like how that was So it's invented in Springfield, Missouri,
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: and it was a Chinese immigrant came Torfield, Missouri. Yes,
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: and they were making real Chinese food and everyone there
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: was like, now, no, of course, okay, well just dump
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: gravy on this ship. What we'll call it cash your Chicken. Yeah,
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: the story of cash your Chicken. And then with this
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: immigrant was fucking rolling after this. It's a story of
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: how America broke a person.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: By saying and created a dish.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: I love a cashew chicken.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: Who does it?
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: But I think it's because I love a cashew Oh okay,
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: I think casho is my number two nut?
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: Really think?
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: Well, actually I talk about this non stuff on this podcast.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: Brazil nut is my health nut. I eat that for
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: a health purpose. Yep, almond cashew. I love a pistache sashio.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: I would say number three.
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: I like pistachios because you got a governor on it.
• 47:35
  Speaker 3: You can't ye crush it. Yeah, you gotta get slowed.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: Down a little bit, yes, some self control.
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: I have become addicted to pistachios because I equate it
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: with disc golfing. Whenever I disc golf I'm rocking pistachios.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: Wow, that seems like a difficult thing for disc It
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: feels like you want to just have access to the
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: nuts during disc golfing.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: Look, I'm having I just I like that I can
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: just throw the fucking.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Oh sure, throwing them everywhere willy nilly.
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: And I would disc golfing without pistachios. Uh recently, and
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: I was like.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Ruined your week this socks. Where do you do disc golfing?
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: Pastina?
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: And so you just have a bag of pistasios with you.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: Oh that sounds lovely. It's great disc golfing, are you?
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: Is there like a course?
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: How big is that? I mean? Is it nine times
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: the size of a regular golf course? It seems like
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: it must be much larger a.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: Regular golf course, really big, very big, smaller than a
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: regular there's probably the longest distance, probably two hundred yards
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: or something.
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, And is it themed like a mini golf course?
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: No, The theme is you're kind of going in and
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: out of other people's games, like of like baseball games, soccer.
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: You're kind of being like, yeah, you're kind of in
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: the local in a fair way.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: I bet I could get into that.
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: It's so fun. Surprisingly, Los Angeles doesn't have many courses
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: and they're not that good like Iowa when I was
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: in high school, like had really cool, great disc golf course.
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: So that's where I got into it.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: Does it get competitive, Well yeah, but not with me.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: You're just I'm there enjoying yourself.
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: Having a good time. But yeah, no, there's like it's
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: fucking huge. It's like an industry and there's like, you know,
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: disc golf World Championships and shit.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: Really yeah, and yeah, I guess it's like regular golf.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: You're just on your own. There aren't teams, right, wow,
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: see that that I need some I don't want to
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: have that much accountability during a game. I needed other
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: people to like cover up how bad I'm doing.
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: Right, Well, it's just you just walk and throw a
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: frisbee and you're just hanging out with your friends eating pistachios. Yeah.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know that I could even successfully throw a frisbee.
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's gonna be tough.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: Take a minute. Yeah, have you ever thrown a boomerang? Oh?
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah you have, of course.
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: Does it actually come back to you? Yeah, it's crazy
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: that's scarce me to death.
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I remember I got a boomerang and went to
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: like a field when I was like in eighth grade,
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: and it was just like gonna, well, you know, when
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: you're like eighth grade, You're like, I'm gonna learn how
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: to be the best weirdest guy with this. You know,
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: did you have when you were.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I'm little, see like a weird thing I
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: saw on TV and now this is going.
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: To be the boomerang?
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: Of course. Did you have a thing that you had
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: obsessed with that you were trying to be the best at.
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: I try to be the best yo yo er in
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: my school.
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: Oh yo yo. I watched a lot of friends become
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: good at yo yo. I don't think I was ever
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: I ever bought one. We would have the yo yo
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: guy come through his tours. Did he do that for you? No?
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: You have the touring yo yo man? No?
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: I mean, but I loved like the Smothers brothers and
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: they would do all the fucking yoyo. Have you ever
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: seen you know, Mark prosch Oh?
• 50:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I love Mark motherfucker in the world. Uh do
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: you ever see his yoyo guy that he.
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: Used to do.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: It's like the last thing that like you could do
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: before everyone knew what online videos were.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: He's so funny, it's so good. Look up Mark prochs. Well,
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: he's he goes as Kenny strosstras the yo Yo Yoyo Master,
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: and basically he goes on early morning radio early morning
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: TV like TV and talks about how his life is going,
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: like he's supposed to show yoos, but then he just
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: talks about his dad used to hit him.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: It's so good. Yeah, yeah, I don't think he anyone
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: could get away with that at this point.
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: No, it's so good. Yeah, it's like, well he was
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: like a small Wisconsin markets and stuff, but fuck, he
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: fooled so many people, so many people. Yeah, they're my
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: favorite thing. One time it's like, so are you headed tomorrow?
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: He just makes it left turn. He goes, this is
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: the last day you will see me and himsday. I'm
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: sure he's like, we have decided part ways. Am I angry? Yes,
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: it's just the.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: Funniest thing, one of the funniest. Did you ever see
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: a pilot that he made, Oh, good morning triay, Yes,
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: where he gets hit by Is that not just on
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: the internet At this point, people they see that.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: They put it up for like they do you for
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: a few weeks in the commissation was like, no, you
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: don't have the rights, take that down.
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, give me a break, Give me a break. That's
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: the funniest the fact that, I mean, i the one
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: comfort I take from that show is I'm like, it
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: was so good and that didn't get made. Yeah, there's
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: no justice in the entertainment business.
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: Because yes, the thesis for this show was they would
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: hire a real person who would be their first day
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: covering the news, and they'd be surrounded by by people
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: just doing bits. It's so when he walks he gets
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: hit by a car outside and he walks back in
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: in the middle of I just got hit by a
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: fucking car. I like, that's like the hardest I've laughed
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: at the TV shows.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: Oh it's so good. Yeah, I've like in writers rooms,
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: I've watched that before because everyone just loves it. It
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: makes you feel so funny. Somebody's gotta So now we've
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: got to get the Cave show back on the market
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: and good morning Trice ight, and then everything will be solved. Ye,
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: well should maybe we should try. I mean, I'm willing
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: to try. These expired mustards you open yours. They don't
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: even have like a safety sealon. Mine had one, Oh
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: it did?
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: Boy?
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: Mine simply did not. Wow, So this could end. I'm
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: trying the spicy siracha.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: Not in love with I mean at least it's not
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: great on a finger. Say that, and it is months expired. Okay,
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: and now let's try the Belgian ale.
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: This is the new wuhan.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're about to start something very bad. Were opening
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: a door that should not be opened.
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: Dip it in some pangolin.
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: I've had pangolin? What when I was on a Mormon
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: mission a long time ago which ended poorly. I was
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: in Malaysia and some of the people that we were
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: like trying to convert or whatever had run over one.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: And okay, like while eating it, they like told us
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: this is what you're eating. And I didn't even know
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: what the animal was at that point, Yeah, because like
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: they look kind of like armadillos.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like a skunky armadillo.
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, But I was just full on. I was like,
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: what is this weird texture on this thing?
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: It was a pengolin, just I just found I was
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: on I was at my grandparents farm in Missouri like
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: a year ago, and I went on a jog and
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: I saw somebody'd run over an armadillo, and I was like,
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: Missouri has armadillos?
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: Where what are those name? I guess Arizona's where I
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: would assume.
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: Texas, I think. But yeah, I was like, this is
• 53:55
  Speaker 4: far Yeah, yeah.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: What a weird creature. They don't seem like they belong anywhere,
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: lost and they roll up to protect themselves.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but they want to be balls. Yeah, they want
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: to you where it was like an animal that would
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: be like it would be like a soccer ball, but
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: then you could turn it inside out and it was
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: a popple.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: That sounds very familiar to me. That sounds really satisfying.
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: Actually, I used to have a really shitty joke about it,
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: about just being like you used to tell my pop,
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: will be yourself.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: You're not a baseball not a horrible joke.
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: Could find joke for a nineteen year old?
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I find joke. Were a very select group of people.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: No, but I'm saying I was nineteen. I've didn't have
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: a lot of life experience.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you were just like, what have I seen or tried?
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: Well, okay, so I've tried two of the mustards. Neither
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: of them put maybe once put on a food and
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: if they weren't, excuse bad. They don't taste good. These
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: are bad, But I can put them in my closet.
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: I do. I have developed a thing since the pandemic
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: of like, well, I should just leave it in case
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: the grocery store shut down. Right, maybe I will need mustard. Yeah,
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: maybe the water wars will begin a little bit sooner
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: than we think. Oh, those water wars, they're coming for us.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: Because he's bad.
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: I've got twelve bottles of water under my bed and
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: that's not going to last me very long.
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: But I was watching Succession like on a plane just
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, let's just throw on the first
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: episode of Succession, because like I've seen every fucking movie
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: on Delta right now. And in the pilot, the Connor
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: is he's like he's all about how he has land
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: over water, and I'm like, oh, he is really good, right, Yeah,
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: this is very developed.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: Character for a pilots totally.
• 55:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: That show I put off for like, uh maybe the
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: first month. I remember being like, I don't want to
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: watch a show about rich people. This seems like it's
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: going to be, so it's just going to be lecturing me.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: And then I watched three minutes of Pilot and I
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: was obsessed with the show for cool.
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: Also, I was talking the other day with somebody who
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: was like, what is the best comedy, like, because comedies
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: are fucking gone, oh good bye. And then we decided
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: like Succession was probably the best comedy of the last
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: six years.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, easily.
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: When they call themselves the Disgusting Brothers, I'm like, that's
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: the funniest thing I've ever heard.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: Cards Well, it's written by a comedy person.
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, White Lotus is really really funny too.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: Though White Lotus is very funny, I like somebody somewhere,
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: But it's a hard time to find a good comedy
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: right this point.
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: I think, how the end of White Lotus first season,
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: how I'm not giving a way a person dies, that's
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: the opening shot of this but how that person dies
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: is the funniest thing I've ever.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: Wait, remind me who dies? And listener again, it's too late,
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: you're gonna find out.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: The Murray dude, Oh right, of course, he like truly
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: the funniest downfall of any fucking character in the history
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: of television. He relaxed. I was.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: I was laughing hard.
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: Thinking about how somebody had to call his family and
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: be like, all right, so here's a couple of things. Murried,
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: he relapsed, He made a kid gay for drugs, then
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: got mad because he was wrong at a at a
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: fucking guest broke into the room, took a shit on
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: their clothes, and then was caught and accidentally stabbed because
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: he had broken into a place.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: So good, so that's how he died. Yeah, I feel
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: like if I had to be that person, I would
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: just make up a lie about that person's death. I'd
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: be like, unfortunately he passed out, Oh my godbody got
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: to him and we don't know what else happened in
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: the situation, and.
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: Shit in someone's luggage because he was wrong and on drugs.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: I think, just like a really small genius thing about
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: that show is the word pineapple sweet is the most
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: annoying thing you could possibly say repeatedly. It's just like
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: anyone who cares about pineapple sweet is the most irritating
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: personal life. Man that shows great, and then the death
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: of the end of the second one is so good. Yeah,
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: just strips off, Oh tips off, you got this? So
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: she is a genius. I hope that we use Jennifer
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: Coolidge as much as we possibly can. She's such a treasure.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: Truly crushing it for thirty years.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: Now, at least thirty years. Yeah, and it's finally like
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: getting exactly what the attention she deserves. Right, she's been successful,
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: but like finally she's like a household name. Yeah, she's
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: long overdue. Well, I've got these disgusting mustards. God knows
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: what I'll do with them, but we'll see what happens.
• 58:38
  Speaker 4: Throw them away.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not throwing them away. I don't think i've I
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: think I've thrown away one thing from this podcast.
• 58:45
  Speaker 4: I didn't think they were expired, and I thought they
• 58:47
  Speaker 4: would be good.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: I think this is not the first expired food that's
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: been brought to this podcast. So you're not alone. And
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: I'll probably give them to away at a live show
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: or something. Someone else will get the cursed. We'll pass
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: them down through centuries. I think it's time for a game. Okay,
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: we're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: I need a number between one and ten from you.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: Eight.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do a little bit of light
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: calculating to get our game piece. Okay, you can promote,
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: to recommend, do whatever you want.
• 59:13
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, watch my special Alive in Alaska just came out.
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: It's on YouTube. I went to Alaska and shot a
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: special and yeah, it's really good. And if you're interested
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: in stand up comedy in Alaska, this.
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: Is right up your alley.
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: And that's it for my promotion.
• 59:32
  Speaker 4: And now you're doing some calculations.
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: No, it's okay.
• 59:35
  Speaker 4: I gotta go to CarMax after.
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: Also, if you can't, if you can't watch Alive in Alaska,
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: send me how the fuck to get registration before my
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: new car where I don't have to go to DMV.
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: Oh good luck, Yeah, good luck. I we'll get to
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: this game in a moment. But when I first moved
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: to LA, you're supposed to like register your car within
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: the first like nine days or something, and I didn't.
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: I then lived with fear for five years. I did
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: not go back. I did not go to the DMV.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: I kept my Utah driver's license. I would go back
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: to Utah every other year just because I I don't
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: know what I thought was going to happen. Right, It's
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: like you're busting and get me.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: The DMV here does suck.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: It's a bad experience. I would rather everywhere else.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: Sure, I'd rather go to like Heavenly truly, if I
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: had an option to go back to Iowa and just
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: keep my Ayowa like, yeah, that's it's easier for me
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 3: to fly to Iowa to deal with that DMV than
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: to go to fucking East Hollywood.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: I think there is one easy one. I wish I
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: could remember which one is good. I feel like there's
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: one that people are like that one's not as bad.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: I used to go to the Passi dino on.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know. You feel like there's a valleyish one
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: that's not quite as crazy.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: We'll go to Great La. People will go to great
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: lengths to find a decent DMVs.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: Driving nine hours, Yeah, and everybody go watch the special.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: So you've taped it in Alaska.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I went into two week tour of Alaska, shot
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: everything and then we So that's the kind of the beginning,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: and then the end is I have a lot of
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: jokes about Alaska. At the end, you show it kind of,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: I you how I kind of you see where those
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: jokes came from.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: Oh that's amazing, what a great concept. I wish you
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: could run into Linda Well's.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 4: I'm just saying, like when you're like, yes, she had
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 4: this online presence of this.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: What was her name, lusty Lady Linda.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's literally every fucking person in Alaska as a
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: secret person on the inside.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: That's true. They're running from something. Oh, they're running something.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my joke was that it's a fine joke, but true.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: It's just like everyone in Alaska's like I like, like,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: came up to visit, been here eighty nine years. Like,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: I'm like they I just love And also I can't
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: be in Virginia. If I go near Virginia, I'm getting nabbed.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: I have got warrants.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: Alaska everyone's a Linda. Yeah, Okay, this is how we
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: play Gift or a Curse. I'm gonna name three things.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: You're gonna tell me if there're a gift or a
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: curse and why, and then I'll tell you if you're
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: right or wrong, because there are correct answers, right, all right?
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: This was someone's from a listener named Mark. Gift to
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: a curse vow renewals.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: Uh fuck, I'm not married, haven't been married. I think
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: that that would be if you're at a place where
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: you have to do that, probably a curse, you know
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: what I mean, somebody has If your partner has to
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 3: be like, tell me why you love me again in
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: front of everyone, that's not a good Things aren't going great, right.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 4: Vow Renels should just be kind of how you behave.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: All the time, right, right, So you're saying curse.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't want to be put in that situation.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: Wrong, Okay, it's a gift and kind of for the
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: same reasons. I love the idea of being invited to
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: one of these things and we all get to kind
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: of just theorize about what went wrong between Mark and
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: Linda that led them to this place where suddenly we're
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: having another wedding yep, and we're like, and I feel
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: like it's probably gonna last another two years. This is
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: a real life.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: I can't imagine a thinking people would want to come
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 3: see me get married once, let alone not even a
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 3: real one the second time.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: First of all, I think you should if you want
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: people to you should have to get divorced and then
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: remarried to the same person if you're going to drag
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: me to one of these things, right, Yes, But I
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: love the idea. I love Bower Noules at Disney World.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: Something's gone super wrong.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: I remember a girl I was dating who I lived
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: with for a while. We were at Universal Studios. We're
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: taking like her little brother who was just awful.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: I hate him.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he like got hammered and like threw up everywhere.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: And then he was like sixteen, like the night before
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: we went to Universal Studios, and then at Universal Studios
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: he's like, hey, man, will you buy me some beer.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: I'm like, get the fuck out of here. If you
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: were cool, yeah, but you're not. You're a mena, You're
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: a menace. But we saw these people there at like
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: getting and it was these it's clearly newly married couple
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: and said like king and Queen like on their shirts,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: and they were getting a photo like very excited with
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 3: Bumblebee the fucking transferable boy. My girlfriend goes, god, I
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: wish it was that fucking dumb and maybe love her.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: You know. She was like, I wish that brought me joy,
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: to be that fucking simple.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: I want to bottom yees to that marriage.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: I think Bubbe's rad.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: I'm getting married and a giant thing of concrete and
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: theme park characters yeah, to have a theme park, wedding, honeymoon,
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: the dream. It's something that I can't access. It's just
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: something that I would be actively miserable at. And some
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: people it's the greatest joy in the world. And God bless, bless,
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: God bless. Okay, so you've gotten one wrong so far. Okay.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: The second one is from a listener named Julia gift
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: he a curse. The server at a restaurant asking what
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: dressing you want on a salad without listing what dressings
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: they have. And I am just gonna say, right now,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: I feel like we've talked about dressings and marks on
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: this podcast already. This is all kind of falling into
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: gift he a curse.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't. I don't know if you can the
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: amount if we talked about hot dogs and chicken fingers.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: I don't order a lot of salads when I'm out. Uh,
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 3: And I'm a real basic, like I'm gonna I'm gonna
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: pick ranch. What am I?
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: So this one is tough for me.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 4: I would say, I don't give a ship.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: This is not a thing. I would say, this is
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: not a thing.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: You have to answer that is not this is not
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: a thing.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: Nobody. This is not a thing.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: You're trying to dodge being wrong here. That's what's happening.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: You feel like, I don't give a ship it's a gift.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 3: Then it's a gift, and I don't mean that. I
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: just I don't have an I don't have a reason
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: why it's a gift, because this is not a thing.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: Somebody not telling you.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing. It's the thing for Julia.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: Somebody's not telling you what's uh like?
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: What? Julia says? I want a salad and the server
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: just walks off. I guess and the salad appears with
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: dressing on. But oh wait, the server to a restaurant asking,
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: oh breaking Comprehendension is zero because there's they don't give
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: you the information.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: I think you ask for the information. This is a
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: quick fix. Julia ask them what what dressings do you have?
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: It is a I love the little guessing game the
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: waiters devised here. It's kind of a rumpel Stiltskin type
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: of thing that's happening. It's like, now you get to
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: embarrass yourself because if you ask for addressing that they
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: don't have. Now you've got to keep going and going.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: I was it's a power dynamic.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: It's fine. I would be like Asian Zing. I went
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: Asian zing'saus on my fucking lettuce.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: And then the waiters off to Buffalo Wild Wings to
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: get a whole gallon of it.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 3: I appreciate that.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: I feel like, uh, you know, I like that the
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: waiter has the confidence in me that they think that
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: I'll be able to name addressing they have. Yeah. I
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: think it's a gift. Okay, so you've gotten one right, So.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 4: Yes, good.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: Finally, this is from a listener named CALLI gift. He
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: a curse calling your partner the boss.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: That's that's fine, let's gift. I like that. What's up, Boss?
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 3: I'm man? Great?
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and possibly you're married.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 3: To Bruce Springsteen.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: Oh it's a pretty good point.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: Interesting, I wonder if his wife calls him the boss?
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: Is he married? Oh?
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which is the boss?
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: I had I had a shitty pitch for SNL sketch
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: where it was undercover Boss. But it's just Bruce Springsteen
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: with a mustache and he's trying to like.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: He's going after the East East Street band.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 3: Well, he was just like helping the crew load up,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: and he's like you, what do you guys think about
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 3: Springsteen to come on, man.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: That's not a bad idea.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 3: No, it's just a fun it's a fake idea.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like where does this go?
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a that's a pitch meeting sketch idea.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like last minute thing. It's it sounds like
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: an idea.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: It's just the worst. No, it's not a sketch.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: Moving off. Yeah, uh yeah, absolutely a gift. Yeah, your
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: partner is the boss. Maybe you're in a relationship with
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: your employer. I support that. Yeah, more people should be
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: in a relationship with their boss. I feel like that's
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: a healthy dynamic. Absolutely, meeting the boss at the workplace,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: mauling head over heel. Yes, go for it.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're getting uh mote it because sexual favors are
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: being exchange.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: This is a healthy thing to do. Absolutely healthy calling
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: your versu in the boss in front of your other employee,
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: other coworkers. Everybody loves it. Everybody thinks this is normal.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: Go for it, Linda, I think. I mean, it's a gift.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: No matter which way you cut it, that's very fun.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: You've got you got two out of three.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: I'm mad? Why did I say eight?
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: Eight? Okay? That's a good question. We get this occasionally
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: from the guests. I have a at this point, I
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: might I might need on a least to organize this list.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: It's a Google doc that's probably a thousand pages long
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: with listeners suggests, and I use the number that the
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: guest gives me to go one, two, three, four, five, six,
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: seven eight. That's one. Just to keep things fair, to
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: keep things nice and even it sounds like hell for you,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: it is hell for me. You know the hell I'm
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: going Do you pick the three most interesting ones? But
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: there are so many interesting ones, and you know we will.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: Hey, that middle one was not interesting.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: It was Julia.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 4: We need to play more than just Julia. I think
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 4: about the other one.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 2: It's kind of a Julia centric podcast. Every episode is
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: dedicated to.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 4: And her non problems.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: She's creating all this drama at every restaurant she goes
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: to just pick range Julia.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: You know what I've been I was thinking about this.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: We've all thought about this a little bit, and I
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 3: was just kind of thinking about it, like, I know,
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 3: like just glancingly, because I do have two cars right now,
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 3: neither of them are at my house, and I I
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 3: just you know, it just scans in your brain a
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 3: little bit like, could I is there a way I
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 3: could drive both those at the same time? Absolutely, I
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: mean I know you can't, but like it is just
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 3: like there's gotta be a fuck way.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: Like there's a machine. There's some sort of gadget that
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: you could do that with.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 4: I was talking with about it.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: You could turn one of the cars, put it in reverse,
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 3: so then you at least have both steering wheels.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: Are access to one next then yeah.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: Your feet are in both one foot in each car.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 3: I don't think I'm going to try it, but but
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: it's idea really help me because currently and just just
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: pure hell up here in this brain with this car.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: I don't think you're overthinking it. You just need like
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: a long stick that you can kind of push pedals
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: with a grabble.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: One is going to be tricky.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: It's I mean, the one ten's tricky. No, that's what
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: you know. So I could stain your who cares? Why
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: not just go for it? Two cars flying down the
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: one ten one driver people would appreciate.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 3: That's what's rattling around in my brain. That's an actual problem.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 3: Linda Julie, I.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: Do have one for what is it, like, Okay, now
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: we both have to answer on a lease. Gift a curse?
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: I bet it's a real one.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 6: Well, this one comes out on this episode comes out
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 6: on January second, So I figured I would ask gift
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 6: a curse New Year's Eve coverage.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, coverage like a rock and New Year's Eve, etcetera.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 3: Absolute gift. People are fucking smashed on that thing. People
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 3: are wasted. It's great.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: You see like.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 3: Like, uh, who's the Andy Cohen like blacked out? It's
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 3: really fun.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: So drunk.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so unforfeud.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: I think that.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 3: I think like two years ago they went fucking they
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 3: went hard, and then like it was like it was
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 3: one of these years where they clearly there was a
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: mandate where they had to be like we're not drinking
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: this year, like we're all this is not a thing where.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: I think Don Lemon went too far with the drinking.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: I remember being like, Oh, this person's career is crazy,
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: what's happening. Yeah, this man is actively like he would
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: be drunk privately, it would be a bad situation, and
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: he's like on television. Yeah, yeah, I agree. A gift
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: getting to see all of that and then you get
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: to like They'll have these bands that no one has
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: ever heard of in a million years, and they're playing
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: in some weird studio in Burbank. It's the time of
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: their life. And you get to witness things that you're like,
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: no one's heard the song before, and somehow they've weaseled
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: their way into this coverage. I love it. It gives
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: you a new look into the world and you don't
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: usually see. That's fun and you don't have to go
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: to Times Square, which I mean, I mean, what are
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: you doing? What went wrong? What? What drives anyone to do?
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: This is awful. It's just an obviously bad thing to do.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 4: Have you ever been hammered on TV?
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: No, I should be every day.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: I was hammered one timel on Act well, but to
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 3: be fair, it wasn't on purpose. I was blanked out
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 3: of the show. It wasn't in any sketches.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is a bad week.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 3: You know, you're not even in not in one dress rehearsal.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: That's that.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 3: And I still got to be there.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: It's not a fair work.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 3: That's there at noon noon.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: Lauren's calling you.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 3: So I get there at noon and I'm fucking miserable.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: I'm not having a good time in general, but this
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 3: is bad. I started drinking at noon, just in my
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 3: fucking dressing room. Dress happens. Don't even watch it. Don't
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 3: even watch dress. Oh, I'm trashed. And then in Lauren's
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 3: office between Dress and Air, I'm I'm not even in
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: the office. I'm outside fucking around with like Fred Armison.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: I'm just like doing bits like Brooks get in the
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: fucking meeting and I was like what, and they were like,
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 3: you're in the sketch, Like I got added into a
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 3: fucking sketch.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: Oh that's not fair.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 3: Well, it's very fair. It's not the job. But I
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 3: didn't know that could happen.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: And the things they put, the feeling you have when
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: you don't think you're gonna be on the show, of
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: course you're drunk.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 3: I'm so hammered. So then I'm fully for a live show.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 3: The sketch like imploded. It was Melissa McCarthy and like
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: a wall fell during Like the sketch was all bad. Uh,
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 3: And I'm just in the background of it, being like
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 3: I shouldn't be on TV right now. I didn't even
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 3: I think I had a lot, I know, and I
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 3: went to the writers. I was like, you gotta take
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 3: that line away. I think the only guy away. Yeah.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 4: I was like, I'm in a bad way.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: If I was the writer, I'd be like, no, we're
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: giving you more.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 3: They were like this could be bad. So I was like,
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 3: uh oh uh. After that, I learned a big old lesson.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 3: I was like, I could have got fired today.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: Don't be drunk at work.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: Even if you think you're not going to have to
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: work that.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: Day, there's a chance you might have.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: There's a chance you might have to work.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 2: You have to work. Tell me everybody ever like thrown
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: up on SNL or anything like that.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 3: No, I actually asked that question. I was like, what's
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 3: like the craziest thing that like, like, does anybody like
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 3: has it? Anybody ever from the crowd like round up
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 3: or anything? You know, it's fucking fifty years.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: And no, why not? I mean it's just that makes
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: me sad about humanity.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 3: My favorite story I have from this I was like,
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: what happened when Katy Perry got caught lipsyincing?
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: Oh right, what happened?
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 3: So super quiet? And there's these double doors that go
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 3: out from the studio to the hallway. Super quiet. Everyone's like,
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 3: what the fuck just happened. That's just like eerily quiet.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 3: And then Joe Simpson her dad as a manager.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: Oh wait, so you said Katie Perry at actually Simpsons
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 2: so sorry, Yeah, let's get great actually actually Simpson, actually Simpson.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 4: What happened when she got hot?
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, and Joe Simpson like busted through the double doors
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 3: and yelled, well it's all over, and he was fucking
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 3: right all over so much.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: That's so great.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that guy is such a weird though, so funny.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, I wish that was recorded. I
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 2: know he should have. He should have burst on while
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: she was doing it. Yeah, I mean Joe Simpson, I'm
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 2: sorry he didn't. The guy is so strange and so
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 2: fame hungry. Let's get him back on TV.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 4: Absolutely like a reality show.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 3: Part of that.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he was always involved. He was always talking about
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: his daughter's bodies and ways is We're like, what's happening?
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: And then did he come out? Is he gay? There's
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 2: a chance that the situation was really evolving. Okay, but
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: I could be wrong. It just feels like, right, yeah,
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 2: it feels like if you're Jessica Simpson's dad, you probably
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: are gay. Let's see what's happening here? Anally seems very concerned.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 6: I mean, I guess there might have been rumored.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 2: Is he still alive.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 3: This part?
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: He doesn't.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 6: He doesn't have a wikiped This is making it very difficult.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: He doesn't have a Wikipedia page. What okay, something's gone
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 2: probably wrong? Well on a least, were we correct or what?
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 3: Of course you were correct.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 6: There's nothing I find more joy in than watching people,
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 6: as said before, get hammered on TV.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: It's why I love the Golden Globes. It's such a
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: rare thing to see just getting drunk on Televisionated. Okay,
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 2: well we won good for us, and we need to
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 2: answer a listener question real quick. This is called I
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 2: said no emails, We helpe me answer a question. Yeahs
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: are begging for answers. People write into I said no
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 2: gifts at gmail dot com and this says hello Bridger
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: and the person speaking with Bridger, that's you.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: I'm a family therapist and I work for a nonprofit
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 2: organization with very limited financial resources. Thanks to the greed
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 2: of our CEO and other superiors. OH should have named
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 2: some names. Because of our funding concerns, we are quite
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: limited in materials for therapeutic activities to engage with children
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: and their families. I'm wondering if you and your guest
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: have any ideas for activities for families to do with
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 2: me to promote healing without promoting capitalism. Will you help
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: me do my job and not spend any money with
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 2: love anonymous therapist. Wow, I mean the perfect podcast to
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 2: come to with this question.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 3: I would say, Yeah, that's free stuff to do with
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 3: the families to.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: Promote healing without promoting capitalists. Right, I mean, okay, well,
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 2: this person has put a lot on our shoulders. No shit, ah,
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: way of a nation. Go to a park. Uh, get
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 2: a ball of yarn and throw it around. I mean,
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: I guess that costs money. I mean, this is what
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: this is what you do?
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: You do?
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: I think what these families need is a common enemy,
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 2: which could be this therapist. The therapist gives them chores
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 2: to do. Go clean some windows, rake leaves, do community service.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 2: This is the perfect sort of thing with this family.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 2: No matter what's going on with their problems, they'll have
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 2: a new problem they can all focus on, which is
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 2: this horrible therapist.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 3: Hatred bond.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the hatred bond. Let them grow to hate you.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 2: And then you can release them and they'll be totally healed.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 2: I'll say that's good, that's real good. You come an enemy,
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: you got common enemy. And if the therapist doesn't want
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: to take that on, they can gossip about the CEO
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 2: with these families. Yeah, I feel like talking shit heels.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: I also confused on why you are a family therapist,
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 3: but somehow a CEO is taking all your resources.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 4: Well, your therapy.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 2: Became the nonprofit. Apparently this is a very corrupt. Interesting
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: that somebody's lining their pockets at this nonprofit with the
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 2: money that should be leading to healing. Why this this
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 2: person should be blowing the whistle a little harder. I
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: think the names should have been named. The organization should
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 2: have been named.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 3: Her name should have been named.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she should have stood up and said this is
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 2: not happening. Even tell cowards.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 3: If you're gonna whistle, blow whistle. This is the worst
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 3: type of whistle blowing. You're like, things are happening. You're
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 3: not going to tell you where or who I am?
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: What are you doing this? This is a tease? Yeah,
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think the first thing this therapist needs
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 2: to do is work on themselves. That's what I'll say,
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 2: oh there, there, we go find another therapist within the
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: nonprofit to help you blow the whistle and get rid
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: of the CEO. There will be a power shift there.
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 2: Everything will work out and these families will finally get
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: the attention they need. The I mean, it's so easy.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: Why did they even write in? This is the big
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: question there. This coward is a loser. It won't even
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: name themselves.
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 3: Email and you get called a coward and a loser.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: Well write a better email. Yes, this organization needs a
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: hero and it's not this person. And I hate to
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 2: hear it. It's fine. Uh and uh. And that CEO,
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 2: I mean the CEO is making a little money.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 3: Who cares.
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: We've all got to make it.
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 3: It's some ceo.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, nobody's like I love my CEO CEO famously.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 2: Good guys, Well we answered it perfectly. Listener, don't write
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: back in unless you want to give us your name.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: Next time. I've got my new mustards. I've had such
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: a wonderful time. Thank you so much, thank you for
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 2: being here. And throw these in the cupboard and see
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 2: what happens. They could grow, Yeah, they could grow. Maybe
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: they could grow.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 3: Have my little maybe I didn't know they were expired,
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 3: and I do apologize for that.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 2: Don't apologize for that to me.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 3: I really did feel like, look, I live by myself
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 3: right now, and I'm like, I'm not going to use these, Like,
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 3: this is no way.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 2: What are you pulling out the pineapple mustard? Ye your head?
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 3: I was like, maybe you would like to cook, or
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 3: know somebody would like to cook. These are decent items,
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 3: but they are expired.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: It Actually, I don't think it works in any situation
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: because I feel like if you bring out the honey pineapple,
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 2: people are like always trying to be fancy. This is
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 2: kind of sad too. Yeah, there's just no situation where
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 2: this actually works.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 3: What Villain gave these to me is what I want
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 3: to know.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you for being here.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: This was really really fun and listener, the podcast is over.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 2: There's really nothing left to say to you. I hope
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: you find something to do with your time today and
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: we'll just wrap it up here. I love you, goodbye,
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: I said. No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 2: senior producer is on Alis Nelson, and our episodes are
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: beautiful mixed by Ben Toliday. The theme song is by
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: miracle worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 2: At I said, no gifts. That's where you're going to
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 2: see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: don't you want to see the gifts? I invit?
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 3: Did you hear?
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 2: Though?
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: A man myself perfectly clear? When you're a guest to me,
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests,
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: you're our presences. Presence enough and I already had too
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: much stuff, So how do you dare to survey me?
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 6: Oh,