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Transcript

I Can Recreate Myself Again · The Person behind the Position

0:12
Speaker 1: Welcome to the person behind the podcast. Podcast that looks
0:17
Speaker 1: beyond what people do to discover who they are. I'm
0:22
Speaker 1: your host. Welcome to the person behind the position. I'm
0:48
Speaker 1: Michael Chisholm. My guest today spent years succeeding by every
0:54
Speaker 1: measure that was handed to her. Until one moment made
1:00
Speaker 1: her stop and ask if any of it actually meant something.
1:06
Speaker 1: She's been chasing an honest answer ever since. She believes
1:11
Speaker 1: that The greatest risk isn't failure. It's reaching the end
1:16
Speaker 1: of your life wondering if you ever really lived it.
1:18
Speaker 1: She also believes the body often knows the truth before
1:24
Speaker 1: the mind even catches up. So please welcome Ms. Joy
1:30
Speaker 1: Yafit Pascal. Hope I pronounced that right.
1:36
Speaker 2: Wow, I'm impressed. You pronounced it very well. Thank you
1:43
Speaker 2: for the introduction. I'm happy to be here. Thank you.
1:46
Speaker 1: So Joy, I don't want to begin with what you
1:50
Speaker 1: teach people today. I want to begin with you. When
1:56
Speaker 1: did you first realize that life looked successful from the outside,
2:02
Speaker 1: it didn't feel successful on the inside?
2:07
Speaker 2: I would say there were... two parts of a transformation
2:12
Speaker 2: that started in me. One part of the transformation was
2:16
Speaker 2: in my early twenties where I had some kind of
2:20
Speaker 2: a near death experience. And one was after I developed
2:25
Speaker 2: already a very successful career. So guide me, which one
2:28
Speaker 2: of the two you want me to focus on?
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Speaker 1: Um, either, um, either one that would just kind of
2:35
Speaker 1: get to, um, Either one. Either one that you're comfortable with.
2:45
Speaker 2: Okay. So I would say that if I take the
2:51
Speaker 2: later one. So I grew up in Israel. And in Israel,
2:57
Speaker 2: every person needs to go to the army. And after
3:00
Speaker 2: the army service, this is usually the time that the
3:03
Speaker 2: person decides what he wants to study or whether he
3:06
Speaker 2: goes to travel the world. And like a good daughter
3:10
Speaker 2: to my parents, I was kind of very much pushed
3:15
Speaker 2: into go and study something good in the university, you know,
3:19
Speaker 2: like these things that the parents would wish for the
3:22
Speaker 2: kids to do. And like a very good kid, I
3:25
Speaker 2: was going to university and I went to do my
3:29
Speaker 2: first degree in the university. And I think it was
3:33
Speaker 2: between the second or the third semester where I was
3:37
Speaker 2: sitting in my room and I was kind of wondering
3:42
Speaker 2: about life, asking myself, is this really all what life
3:47
Speaker 2: has to offer? So I finished my degree. I find
3:52
Speaker 2: a good job. I get married. I have kids. And
3:55
Speaker 2: then what? And at that moment, I felt so scared
4:01
Speaker 2: because it felt like somebody has scripted already my life
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Speaker 2: for the upcoming 40 years. Like I already knew the path.
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Speaker 2: I knew the way of where I'm going to be
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Speaker 2: when I'm 40. And I was in my early 20s.
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Speaker 2: And that thought scared me so much. So I decided
4:21
Speaker 2: that in my semester break, I'm going to buy a
4:23
Speaker 2: ticket and I'm going to fly abroad and experience the world.
4:27
Speaker 2: And I booked a ticket to Thailand and Nepal. And
4:29
Speaker 2: it was my first backpack trip that I did a
4:33
Speaker 2: solo trip by myself, going for an adventures and trying
4:37
Speaker 2: to understand the meaning of life and to understand what
4:39
Speaker 2: life has to offer. And in that trip, is where
4:45
Speaker 2: out of a sudden I found myself on the most
4:48
Speaker 2: wildest river of Nepal doing a rafting excursion of four days.
4:55
Speaker 2: And in the second day of the rafting, our boat
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Speaker 2: flipped and I fell into the water. And it was...
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Speaker 2: Kilometers and kilometers of very strong current that was dragging
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Speaker 2: me along the rivers with absolutely no control on what
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Speaker 2: is happening to me. I was trying to reach with
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Speaker 2: my hand to hold a tree, a rock, something, but
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Speaker 2: absolutely I couldn't reach anything. I was swallowing more and
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Speaker 2: more water, and I'm trying to go up, and the
5:29
Speaker 2: more I try to go up, I'm pulled even more down.
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Speaker 2: I don't know how long I was carried by the
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Speaker 2: river in this known control situation. I just know that
5:42
Speaker 2: I lost any power on my body. I lost any
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Speaker 2: power on my thoughts and I was not sure I'm
5:51
Speaker 2: going to get out of that river alive until one point. Yeah.
6:00
Speaker 2: Until one point that something was stuck in my vest
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Speaker 2: and I was kind of smashed into a corner, stuck
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Speaker 2: between tree branches. And this is where a little bit
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Speaker 2: the current stopped and I was just there, stuck. I
6:18
Speaker 2: don't know how long. I just know that at one
6:21
Speaker 2: point I heard a voice and the voice was telling me,
6:25
Speaker 2: hey girl, look me in the eyes. And with the
6:29
Speaker 2: bit of strength that I have left, I'm kind of
6:31
Speaker 2: lifting my head up. And I see three men on
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Speaker 2: a safety boat. They're trying to save me. They're trying
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Speaker 2: to take me into the safety boat from the river. Apparently,
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Speaker 2: they managed to save everybody that fell from the boat,
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Speaker 2: but they didn't manage to reach me. And then he said,
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Speaker 2: but you need to help us. So we are going
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Speaker 2: to count to three and you need to help us
6:56
Speaker 2: take you out of here. And then he was counting one, two, three.
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Speaker 2: And with every bit of strength that I've left, I
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Speaker 2: managed to lift a leg. And they were able to
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Speaker 2: grab this leg and flip me over into the safety
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Speaker 2: safety boat like a rock. And you probably think that
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Speaker 2: this is where the story ends. Well, it's not because
7:23
Speaker 2: of that night we parked and we had two more
7:27
Speaker 2: days to continue on that river. Two more days of
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Speaker 2: potentially rapids, potentially falling again into the river. And when
7:37
Speaker 2: we parked for the night, I think I lost it.
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Speaker 2: Like I was screaming, take me out of here, bring
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Speaker 2: a helicopter. I don't care. I want to get out
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Speaker 2: of this river. I'm not continuing this journey. And the
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Speaker 2: guide was just looking at me, smiling and telling me,
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Speaker 2: there is no road. There is no helicopter. We are
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Speaker 2: in the middle of the jungle. Tomorrow morning, we continue.
8:06
Speaker 2: And I think most of the people in this situation
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Speaker 2: will probably ask themselves, why is it happening to me?
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Speaker 2: I don't want to be here, right? Like things like that.
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Speaker 2: But for me, it was one question in my mind.
8:20
Speaker 2: how I'm going to survive tomorrow. I don't think I
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Speaker 2: slept that night. The next morning, when I really understood
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Speaker 2: and tried everything in my power to get out of
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Speaker 2: that river, I remember that one of the guides said
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Speaker 2: that if we row together, everybody at the same speed,
8:45
Speaker 2: same time, we have a chance in rapids not to
8:47
Speaker 2: flip over again. Then when I wake up in the morning,
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Speaker 2: I nominated myself without asking anybody to be the rhythm commander.
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Speaker 2: I didn't ask anybody. I didn't ask for permission. Once
9:02
Speaker 2: we were on the boat and I understood that this
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Speaker 2: journey is actually continuing, I was shouting all the time,
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Speaker 2: and one, and two, and one. and that we all
9:15
Speaker 2: row at the same time, at the same speed to
9:19
Speaker 2: avoid the chance that we fall again. And this is
9:23
Speaker 2: how I managed to survive the next two days, upcoming
9:27
Speaker 2: two days afterwards, by taking control on my own life.
9:34
Speaker 2: And this experience tremendously shaped the way I look at
9:40
Speaker 2: life right now because We all fall in our life
9:45
Speaker 2: into rivers we didn't choose. A river can be a divorce,
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Speaker 2: a grief, when somebody that we love, a breakup, losing
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Speaker 2: a job. And we cannot always control these rivers that
10:05
Speaker 2: we fall into. But what we can control is how
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Speaker 2: we stand up for it, how we navigate it. And
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Speaker 2: this is in our hands to navigate it. our mindset
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Speaker 2: and the way we behave in whatever situation or crisis
10:20
Speaker 2: that we have to face. That was a very transformational
10:25
Speaker 2: moment in my life. Okay.
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Speaker 1: So in the idea of being many rivers in life,
10:39
Speaker 1: you know, named divorce and things like that.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: How do you continue to navigate those rivers? Because, of course,
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Speaker 1: everybody's river is not divorce. Everybody's river kind of may
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Speaker 1: not be family issues. But how do you continue to
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Speaker 1: navigate those?
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Speaker 2: So for me. The most important thing that happened every
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Speaker 2: time that I had to face a situation or rebuild
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Speaker 2: myself all over again was the questions I'm asking myself.
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Speaker 2: Do I go to the victim questions? I call them
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Speaker 2: victim questions. Why me? Why is it happening to me?
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Speaker 2: I don't need that right now. I don't have power
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Speaker 2: to deal with it. You know, like all these questions
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Speaker 2: that basically are kind of minimizing us and draining our energy.
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Speaker 2: And we are kind of the victim of the situation into,
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Speaker 2: I call them empowering questions.
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Speaker 3: Okay.
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Speaker 2: So this is the situation. What do I do now?
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Speaker 2: Like I was asking myself, how I'm going to survive tomorrow, right?
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Speaker 2: So whatever happened to me, I asked, okay, what do
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Speaker 2: I do? What do I do now? How I grow
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Speaker 2: from it? How I navigate it? Because it's there. I
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Speaker 2: cannot control it. But I can control how I feel
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Speaker 2: or what I do with it. I think asking the
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Speaker 2: empowering questions is my superpower. Okay. Okay.
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Speaker 1: So you now help people embrace uncertainty. What did uncertainty
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Speaker 1: feel like when it was your own life and you
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Speaker 1: didn't yet know where.
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Speaker 2: It was leading? So it was frustrating everything. trying to
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Speaker 2: be the victim, trying to pressure, trying to get away
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Speaker 2: from the situation, trying to find ways to escape. So
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Speaker 2: it was always there as a first step. And then
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Speaker 2: there was the changing point where I said, this will
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Speaker 2: not bring me anywhere. So I need to change my approach.
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Speaker 2: I need to treat it differently. And to be able
13:13
Speaker 2: to distinguish between what is in my hand and what
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Speaker 2: is not in my hand. What I can control and
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Speaker 2: what I cannot control. Is that answering your question? Yes. Yep.
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Speaker 1: So what was the greatest risk for you, not professionally
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Speaker 1: but personally, in choosing something different?
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Speaker 2: For me, the biggest risk is when I'm not in
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Speaker 2: the right place, either the body or the mind starts
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Speaker 2: to make their signs. So if I'm talking about the mind,
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Speaker 2: then this is where a burnout can start to appear
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Speaker 2: or even a depression. When I talk about fears or anxieties,
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Speaker 2: when I talk about body react is headaches, stomach pains,
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Speaker 2: constantly running nose, some allergies that are not medically explained
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Speaker 2: that you do tests and nobody understand why you suffer
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Speaker 2: from headaches. Nobody understand why your belly is swollen all
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Speaker 2: the time because everything looks fine. So for me, it
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Speaker 2: was very clear that if I'm not in a place
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Speaker 2: that is right for me, I saw it. Either my
14:34
Speaker 2: body was reacting and I had those big stomach pains,
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Speaker 2: for example. For me, it was stomach pains and a
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Speaker 2: swollen stomach that no medical examination could explain what is there.
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Speaker 2: But it was my body signing, alert, alert, red light,
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Speaker 2: something going on. Take care of us. Listen to the body.
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Speaker 2: So I believe that the body has wisdom And when
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Speaker 2: we suffer something, and I know so many people that
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Speaker 2: can live their entire life and say, yeah, yeah, I'm
15:09
Speaker 2: dealing with migraine. Yeah, yeah, I'm dealing with headaches. And
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Speaker 2: they think it's normal. But it's not normal for the
15:16
Speaker 2: body to be in a disease. Because if you take
15:20
Speaker 2: the word disease, you know it's disease. So there is
15:24
Speaker 2: something going on in the body, in the soul, in
15:29
Speaker 2: the spirit. There is something wrong. And I think the
15:33
Speaker 2: right thing to do is to understand what needs to
15:35
Speaker 2: be changed. And it's not about taking a tablet or
15:41
Speaker 2: it can be that there is a real, I would say,
15:46
Speaker 2: medical situation that needs attention. But if you do all
15:49
Speaker 2: the tests and everything looks fine and normal and the
15:52
Speaker 2: doctors have nothing to tell you, for me, they were
15:55
Speaker 2: telling me, yeah, you have a nervous stomach. Yeah, really?
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Speaker 2: Can someone be nervous? But yes, because it's not a
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Speaker 2: medical situation. It's a dis-ease that I'm experiencing because I'm
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Speaker 2: not in the right place for me. Okay.
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Speaker 1: So when you have to handle this dis-ease in your
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Speaker 1: in the avenues of life that you are kind of
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Speaker 1: navigating in, what do you do to navigate those spaces
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Speaker 1: in the dis-ease?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, two things. First of all, I start to ask
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Speaker 2: the questions. What's going on? What's not right? Am I not,
17:00
Speaker 2: in which place is not the right place for me?
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Speaker 2: Do I avoid a conversation? Do I avoid to face
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Speaker 2: a situation? Do I avoid something that I know for
17:16
Speaker 2: a long time I need to do? And second, if
17:20
Speaker 2: I need a physical support, then I go to alternative medicine.
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Speaker 2: For example, homeopathy. That's helped me a lot in my life.
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Speaker 2: Or I take something that is plant-based. So something that
17:39
Speaker 2: is from the nature that is supporting the body to
17:44
Speaker 2: take care of itself. Because I really believe that our
17:47
Speaker 2: body is such an intelligent machine that knows to fix things.
17:52
Speaker 2: We just maybe need to support it. For example, you know,
17:55
Speaker 2: when you have a flu and the doctor tell you
17:58
Speaker 2: with medicine or without medicine, it will be seven days
18:01
Speaker 2: or one week, depending on how you look at it,
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Speaker 2: you know. So the body needs to go through it,
18:05
Speaker 2: no matter what medicine you give it. So it's the same.
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Speaker 2: The body has power to heal itself. Then I will
18:12
Speaker 2: help maybe with something to the immune system with vitamin
18:14
Speaker 2: C or something like that. So I will help the
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Speaker 2: natural systems of the body to function and do their job.
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Speaker 2: Me personally, I found that homeopathy helped me a lot.
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Speaker 2: I can share that I had a period with three
18:29
Speaker 2: years in a row that I had a urine infection.
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Speaker 2: And the regular medicine just gave me antibiotics. One, 10 days,
18:38
Speaker 2: seven days antibiotics. And then it was okay for one week.
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Speaker 2: And then it came back. And then again and again.
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Speaker 2: And I was three years on antibiotics. I cannot even
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Speaker 2: begin to tell you how destructive this is for the body.
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Speaker 2: And homopathy solved it in two months after three years
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Speaker 2: of agony. So if you ask me if I go
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Speaker 2: to doctors, no, I don't go to doctors. Only when
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Speaker 2: I need to go to blood tests, then I need
19:12
Speaker 2: the prescriptions to go to blood tests or if I
19:15
Speaker 2: want to see what's going on. If there will be,
19:20
Speaker 2: I don't know. for God's sake, an accident or something
19:23
Speaker 2: that I need emergency room. Yeah. Okay. But not for
19:26
Speaker 2: this regular daily, I call them disease of the body.
19:31
Speaker 2: So I will try to solve it in a different way. Okay.
19:35
Speaker 2: That's my, my way of living my life.
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Speaker 1: Okay.
19:42
Speaker 2: So actually two days ago, a friend was asking me
19:45
Speaker 2: and what you don't have headaches. Because I was telling
19:48
Speaker 2: her that I'm not going to doctor. I said, no,
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Speaker 2: I don't have headaches. And he said, okay, but if
19:52
Speaker 2: you will have a headache, what do you do? You
19:54
Speaker 2: will not take a painkiller? I said, in the rare
19:57
Speaker 2: situation that maybe I will have a headache, I will
20:00
Speaker 2: drink a huge glass of water, take a vitamin C,
20:04
Speaker 2: and go to rest. And the body will heal itself.
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Speaker 2: And I wake up without a headache. Okay.
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Speaker 1: It's good to not wake up with headaches. I can
20:19
Speaker 1: totally understand. So what does Joy understand now about herself
20:27
Speaker 1: that she could not understand or could not have understood
20:32
Speaker 1: while she focused on achieving the next thing?
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Speaker 2: I would say.
20:44
Speaker 3: That I learned something very profound, which is all I
20:53
Speaker 3: need is within me now.
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Speaker 2: All the joy I need, all the energy I need,
21:01
Speaker 2: all the power I need. all the courage I need
21:06
Speaker 2: is already within me. And the magical thing is, is
21:13
Speaker 2: to learn different techniques to activate what is already there.
21:18
Speaker 2: Because as our body has wisdom and know to heal itself,
21:23
Speaker 2: also our mindset is a very powerful tool to deal
21:27
Speaker 2: with any situation that is popping up in our way.
21:31
Speaker 2: if we choose to activate the right questions, ask the
21:35
Speaker 2: right questions, be in the right mindset in order to
21:39
Speaker 2: deal with the situation. So I think that what I
21:43
Speaker 2: didn't see before, because I was traveling a lot, as
21:46
Speaker 2: indeed you said, I was looking for answers. I think
21:49
Speaker 2: I was traveling in... Last time I counted was 38 countries.
21:54
Speaker 2: So I was traveling a lot. And I was doing
21:58
Speaker 2: Vipassana in India. And I was going to different ashrams.
22:02
Speaker 2: And I was going to New Zealand and seeing how
22:06
Speaker 2: the Fijian people live in Fiji. And I was really
22:09
Speaker 2: looking for a lot of answers. And all the journeys
22:13
Speaker 2: and everything I saw brought me back to myself. brought
22:18
Speaker 2: me back to understand that whatever I need is already
22:22
Speaker 2: there inside. Great. Great.
22:28
Speaker 1: So your message says the greatest risk is reaching the
22:35
Speaker 1: end of life, wondering if you truly live. What does
22:40
Speaker 1: truly living mean to Joy? Not as a speaker or
22:45
Speaker 1: a coach, but as a person?
22:51
Speaker 4: Truly living means that I wake up in the morning
22:55
Speaker 4: with a smile on my face, with some kind of
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Speaker 4: excitement about what's going on or what is upcoming in
23:05
Speaker 4: the day, something that I'm looking forward to make sure that.
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Speaker 2: In my day, I have, let's say, the operational tasks
23:14
Speaker 2: that I need to do. I have the job that
23:16
Speaker 2: I need to do. I have the phone calls, the emails,
23:19
Speaker 2: whatever I need to operate. I have a household to manage.
23:22
Speaker 2: But still, is there something that it is for me
23:27
Speaker 2: to feed my soul, to feed my mindset, something that
23:31
Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to it? It can be for me
23:35
Speaker 2: a dance class, if I have a dance class. It
23:38
Speaker 2: can be for me to talk in a nice podcast
23:41
Speaker 2: and share my wisdom. This is something I look forward
23:43
Speaker 2: to when I wake up in the morning, you know.
23:46
Speaker 2: It can be a nice trip, a nice party, a
23:50
Speaker 2: nice festival, a nice concert. It can be something that
23:54
Speaker 2: even I look forward for the sunset, to take a
23:56
Speaker 2: glass of something nice to drink and to go to
23:59
Speaker 2: watch the sunset because I know it's planned in my calendar.
24:03
Speaker 2: Or to go to do the body pump class in
24:06
Speaker 2: the gym because I started to do that recently and
24:08
Speaker 2: I really like that, you know? So it's like, what
24:16
Speaker 2: is scheduled in our calendar that when I wake up
24:20
Speaker 2: in the morning thinking what is upcoming, scanning in my
24:24
Speaker 2: head what I need to do today, there is something
24:27
Speaker 2: there that I feel a little bit my heart beat into.
24:31
Speaker 2: a passion coming into it, something that will fill myself
24:37
Speaker 2: with joy. And then I wake up with a smile
24:40
Speaker 2: and with the energy to start the day.
24:45
Speaker 1: Okay, so if the speaker.
24:48
Speaker 2: The coach, the facilitator, the.
24:51
Speaker 1: Leader, and all the positions and accomplishments disappear tomorrow, who
24:59
Speaker 1: is Joy Yafit? as scale behind the position?
25:07
Speaker 2: Today is very different than in the past. In the past,
25:13
Speaker 2: I was pending a lot on these definitions and positions. Today,
25:18
Speaker 2: I'm a very strong woman. that knows that wherever I
25:26
Speaker 2: will fall, I have the skills and the knowledge to,
25:32
Speaker 2: to lift myself up again, no matter what will happen.
25:37
Speaker 2: I know I can recreate myself again and again.
25:45
Speaker 1: Great answer. And I know that the persons that you
25:49
Speaker 1: help are also, um, learning how to do the same
25:54
Speaker 1: things that you have learned. So Joy, I want to
26:00
Speaker 1: thank you for allowing us to meet the person behind
26:05
Speaker 1: the position. And to everyone listening, sometimes the life that
26:11
Speaker 1: looks successful from the outside may not be the life
26:17
Speaker 1: that feels meaningful on the inside. So maybe the question
26:22
Speaker 1: is not only am I succeeding, maybe it's also am
26:28
Speaker 1: I truly living? I'm Michael Chisholm. This is the person
26:35
Speaker 1: behind the position. And I want to say, Joy, it
26:42
Speaker 1: was a joy having you on our podcast today.
26:47
Speaker 2: Thank you. And I see the smile on your face
26:50
Speaker 2: and I feel like I did my thing. You did.
26:53
Speaker 2: It was a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you
26:55
Speaker 2: so much for the opportunity.
26:57
Speaker 1: Thank you. And we will be signing off.
27:00
Speaker 3: Thank you.
27:23
Speaker 1: If you've enjoyed this episode share it with your friends