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Having a meh day? Confessions of a special needs mom · Quiet Time Conversations | Practical Discipleship

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, here's another confessions of a special needs parent.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Our son is 19.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: He has Down syndrome, and he's not moving out anytime soon.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: And there are many things he doesn't do for himself.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: So the parenting, it didn't end.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still parenting.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have another kid that moved out, and I'm not parenting uh anymore, but I still am.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And do you know how hard it is to parent a 19-year-old that wants to do what they want to do?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh mostly he wants to stay up all night and he wants to eat while he's up, and you can see it on him.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can't, you know what?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can't make someone sleep.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: You can't, you know, here's the old adage, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I have bought him a bed and sheets and a blanket and a pillow, and he doesn't he doesn't want to sleep.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: From the time he was little, doesn't want to sleep.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: He won't he loves being up when everyone else is asleep.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you're hungry.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So he has complete access to the kitchen.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And the older he's gotten, the more he eats.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I woke up this morning and I really didn't want to do the day.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to do the day.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I really don't.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I find myself in one of two places during my day.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: One, I'm avoiding having to parent him again.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And two, I'm having to parent him again.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: So that's really, that's really what my day is.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, there are times because my husband works from home as well, so there's always activity on going on in the home.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And there are times when my husband is gone and Josh is sleeping because he's been up all night and I have zero to do.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I sit there and I think, why don't I have anything to do?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have no hobbies, I've got nothing.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because when he's awake, I'm usually having to deal with him.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: He's my hobby.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I know he's not supposed to be my hobby, and I'm not I'm supposed to have other things, but I don't have any other.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a super introvert, and I'm not the type that's gonna go out and join things, and I don't have any other hobbies.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I woke up this morning.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: That was a long way to say.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: I woke up this morning and I didn't want to do the day.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I woke up late.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have my quiet time this morning.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sitting in my quiet time chair and I'm kind of just commiserating with the Lord, you know, this is how I feel, this is what's going on.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And after about 20 minutes of commiserating about myself and my life with the Lord, I thought, you know, I know, I know how the Lord works, I know how the kingdom works.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I get what I give away.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever I give away, the Lord blesses me back.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I said, and instead of sitting here commiserating about myself for another 20 minutes, I'm gonna pray to give others what I want.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: So this was my strategy this morning.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I got went to the first person on my list, who happens to be my daughter, she's the first person on my prayer list, and I prayed, Lord, give her patience today, even though I'm the one that I'm the one that needs patience.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is what it I prayed for her, give her patience today.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Lord, give her confidence and her ability to be herself today, to just be who she is.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got a long list, and it's like halfway through my list.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I added something to it.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think the Lord added something to it.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I prayed, I was praying for somebody, and I prayed, give them the confidence to be their fallible self.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Not perfect, able to fall, fallible.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, that makes me feel a little bit better.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Give them confidence to be their fallible self today.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that felt really good.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then a few people on, the Lord added something else to it.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I was praying, and I said, give them confidence to be their fallible self today.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then I added this because the Lord works through weakness.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of praying for everybody, and that was my prayer at the end, I felt better.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: I felt better.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I felt a little more patient with myself.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I can be fallible today, and that's fine.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: It is okay to not have a perfect day.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I sat here and I thought, what is a perfect day?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's kind of what I want.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: I want a perfect day, and I'm dreading not having a perfect day.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I wrote down, what is a perfect day?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And my answer was a fallible one.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then I added, with joy and hope.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's a perfect day.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I can have an awful day, but if there's joy and hope at the end of it, that was an okay day.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I wrote.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: What is a perfect day?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: A fallible one, a not perfect one with joy and hope.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus, right?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's a great day.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then I wrote, um, what is a perfect Josh, my son?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: What is a perfect Josh?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: A fallible Josh with joy and hope.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's all I want.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and then my husband, what is a perfect husband?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: A fallible one with joy and hope.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I gotta tell you, I felt a little bit better.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I felt a little bit better.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's a it's a wild walk, this special needs parenting walk.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's not for the faint of heart.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I know people like to say God only gives these kids to, you know, amazing parents, but no, no, no, no, I don't think that's true.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: God gives these kids to those who have a lot to learn in patience and love, agape love and caring for others.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my I if I had never had a special needs child, I would be a very, very selfish, self-centered person today.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: But first of all, having children that sucks that right out of you.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then having a special needs child really sucks that out of you.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: You have so much compassion for others in the same place.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, I I don't, God did not give me Josh because I was special.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: God gave me Josh because I had a lot to learn.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I have so much more to learn.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I learned today.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know what a perfect day is?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: A not perfect day, but one with joy and hope.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I'm gonna do today.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm that's my plan.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm planning to have a not perfect day.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I feel I feel like uh the pressure's off.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Pressure's off a little bit.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was feeling a lot of pressure to have a perfect day for everything to go right.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And pressure is off, and I feel a lot better.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So there you go.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's my confession today.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Have a wonderful day.