Latest / Cristy M. Diaz Podcast Conversations from the Heart / When Birth Plans Don’t Go As Planned with Lizzy Chiappy

Transcript

When Birth Plans Don’t Go As Planned with Lizzy Chiappy · Cristy M. Diaz Podcast Conversations from the Heart

0:00
Hello there. Good morning. How are we
0:02
doing? We're doing good. How are you?
0:06
Doing fantastic.
0:09
Popcorn. The home is empty. The home is
0:12
empty. So, I am I'm ready to go. That's
0:16
love pop. This is Popcorn, my dog. She
0:19
thinks she's a cat and she sits up here
0:21
perched up always looking for
0:22
landscapers and
0:24
lizards.
0:26
Nice. So, good morning. We're just going
0:28
to jump right in because we're never
0:30
going to take more than 30 minutes of
0:32
your time. And welcome to Mamas in Miami
0:34
where together we're going to navigate
0:35
the journey of motherhood with fierce
0:37
love and unwavering support. Um it takes
0:40
a village and uh Lizzie and I really
0:44
really excited to welcome you guys to
0:45
ours. We're so incredibly humbled and
0:49
grateful for all the amazing support
0:51
that you all have shown us.
0:54
Yes. Yes. Thank you so much for all the
0:56
positive feedback and for the
0:57
encouragement. Um, you know, I have to
0:59
even after being a business owner times
1:01
two, I still had a little bit of
1:03
imposttor syndrome when we were starting
1:04
this and a little bit of that fear like
1:07
um should I do be doing this? Are people
1:09
going to like it? Like what why am I
1:11
taking something else on like all the
1:13
things, right?
1:15
You know, part part of the reason how
1:17
this came to light is that D Lizzie and
1:19
I had such amazing conversations when I
1:22
was prepping for my spine surgery that
1:25
we kept saying we should be inviting
1:27
other people to join us in these
1:28
conversations because we've gotten so
1:30
much out of it. Maybe we could touch the
1:32
lives of somebody else. Yes, absolutely.
1:36
And uh and that's why I'm going to start
1:38
with sharing my my birth story this
1:40
morning. And my reasons of my why is not
1:42
just uh this isn't just like
1:44
storytelling per se, but more um there's
1:48
like always a why. I'm a big why person
1:50
and a reason behind things. And number
1:52
one, it's um first and foremost that
1:56
people are allowed to want to experience
1:58
something even if it seems so
2:00
off-kilter, even if it goes against the
2:02
grain um and not what people usually do.
2:05
And uh and it's so important I feel like
2:07
to support people in their journey. I
2:10
wanted a natural child birth. And not
2:11
only did I want a natural child birth, I
2:13
was really set on it not happening in a
2:16
hospital. I wanted to do it out of a
2:18
birthing center mi with midwives. I did
2:22
try the OB/GYN route because, you know,
2:24
that little bit of fear crept in. It was
2:26
my first pregnancy, my first child, and
2:28
I did was a little nervous and I
2:29
honestly did not have a positive
2:31
experience at all. and I didn't feel
2:33
like I was seen as a person or heard and
2:37
it just didn't feel right. So, I went my
2:39
husband thankfully was super on board
2:41
and I we interviewed a birthing center
2:44
and we loved it right away. Uh we were
2:46
in and out in an hour. Uh I felt seen
2:49
like a human um and a person. I felt
2:51
cared for and uh and it was a great
2:54
experience. I had a wonderful pregnancy.
2:57
Um, I mean I had your back pain of
2:59
course and my planter fascitis, you
3:01
know, started kicking in halfway through
3:03
and all those things of course like the
3:05
discomfort of, you know, growing a human
3:07
inside of you. Um, but really my
3:10
pregnancy was perfect until it wasn't.
3:12
Um, even up until the last moment, I
3:15
mean, he was always in my son Willie was
3:17
in position, ready to rock, doing all
3:20
the right things. And uh I'll never
3:22
forget it was Sunday, November 20th of
3:27
2022 and I thought my water broke. And
3:30
so we call the birthing center and we go
3:33
to the birthing center and they
3:35
confidently tell me that my water did
3:37
not break um and that I'm 4 cm dilated.
3:40
And I was like, "All right." And they're
3:42
like, "So just go ahead and carry on
3:44
about your day." At that moment, I had
3:46
already been experiencing slight
3:48
contractions that resembled period
3:49
cramps. So, nothing crazy yet, but they
3:52
were they were there. So, my husband and
3:54
I decided cuz it is November and we know
3:56
that we're basically about to give birth
3:58
soon and Christmas is coming. So, we're
3:59
like, let's go buy a Christmas tree. So,
4:01
we go buy a Christmas tree. And that is
4:05
when my first major contraction hit me.
4:07
I was sitting in the car waiting for him
4:08
to pay and bring the tree to the car.
4:10
and I got the most intense um
4:16
contraction that I literally jumped out
4:18
of the car, had to stand in order to
4:20
like deal with it. And then I was like,
4:23
"All right, this is we're we're starting
4:25
with this." And you know, I've read all
4:27
the things. I was like such a good
4:28
student of being pregnant. I read all
4:30
the things. So, I'm like very aware of
4:31
like the pre-lor stages and like what
4:34
the contraction should look like, how
4:36
long they should be, how far apart, all
4:38
the things. So, so far I'm not thinking
4:40
anything of it. We get to the house, I'm
4:43
literally contracting as I'm putting
4:45
ornaments on the
4:47
tree like a like the if you know me
4:50
personally, this does not surprise you.
4:52
And so, but finally, they are getting
4:55
intense. And there was a whole thing of
4:56
ornaments that never got to the tree
4:58
because I was like, I think I'm good
4:59
here. We have enough stuff on the tree.
5:00
And they started getting intense enough
5:02
and the day started progressing that I
5:04
even told my husband verbatim. I was
5:06
like, I'm not sure how I'm going to
5:08
sleep like this tonight. And he was
5:09
like, I was thinking the same thing. And
5:11
sure enough, it's time for us to go to
5:13
bed. And I am there is no sleep
5:15
happening. And not to mention also in
5:18
order for me to really work through
5:19
these contra these intense contractions
5:21
I started getting. I was I had to stand.
5:23
I had to stand. I had to walk. And so
5:27
basically I do this I do this throughout
5:28
the night. And I am and they are just
5:30
getting fiercer and fiercer. And it
5:33
finally dawned on me. And I was like,
5:34
"Something doesn't seem right here
5:36
because it's either he's almost here or
5:40
something's wrong because my
5:41
contractions were often and they were
5:44
lasting for a long time. I was like
5:46
timing all of it and they were just I
5:48
was just like not in a good place." So
5:50
at 4:00 a.m. I wake my husband up and I
5:52
was like, "Something's something's
5:54
wrong." And we mind you, I have a doula
5:57
also that I hired through the birthing
5:58
center and my doula's out of town and
6:00
she's not scheduled to get back into
6:02
town till Tuesday night. So, we're on
6:04
the phone with her. It's 4:00 a.m. And
6:06
she's like, "Go to the birthing center.
6:08
I'm going to call them. I'm going to
6:09
have them do a labor check on you." So,
6:11
we go, we do a labor check. They confirm
6:13
yet again that my water pouch is still
6:15
intact, that I have not broken my water,
6:17
and that I'm still only 4 cm dilated.
6:20
And I'm like, "You have got to be
6:22
kidding me with what I've just been
6:24
experiencing all night, that I am still
6:28
not anywhere closer." But then they also
6:30
are watching me labor and they're like,
6:33
"Your contractions are lasting really
6:35
long." They're like, "You might be
6:36
dehydrated." So they hooked me up to an
6:38
IV. That helped. They do another labor
6:42
check. I'm still not anywhere else. So
6:43
then they also realize though, they're
6:45
like, "It seems like he's stuck in your
6:47
pelvis." So now their next move is while
6:50
I'm contracting, they had different
6:53
positions and movements that they wanted
6:55
me to do in order to basically get him
6:58
dislodged out of my pelvis and basically
7:01
for him to start the journey down over
7:04
again is the plan. Let me tell you
7:07
something. One of them is like resembled
7:09
like the Heimlick maneuver, like if
7:11
someone was choking. And so they wanted
7:13
my husband to stand behind me and put
7:15
his hands underneath my belly and then
7:18
when my contraction started wanted him
7:20
to pull back and lift up to see if we
7:23
could get Willie out of my pelvis. And
7:25
there are no words in any language that
7:28
could describe that level of pain and
7:32
discomfort. I I boohooed cried like a
7:34
little girl. They put me in more
7:37
positions and it was just I mean and I
7:39
and I'm a yogi. I'm a yogi. I know all
7:41
the breathing techniques, right? I am
7:43
breathing like a dragon at this
7:46
point. I am literally exercising all my
7:50
tools. Like I have the I have the mental
7:53
toughness. I'm doing the breathing. I'm
7:55
like working through it. My husband's
7:57
super supportive. I have two midwives
7:59
there trying to work it through. I mean,
8:01
finally by hydrating me, the
8:03
contractions got to a manageable point,
8:06
I would say. And so they're in a
8:08
manageable point. They and then but I'm
8:10
still only four centimeters. They did
8:12
about like three labor checks while I
8:14
was there. And even after all those
8:15
exercises and moves and like boohoo
8:17
crying, I'm still not anywhere further.
8:20
So they send me home and they're like
8:22
try to get some rest. Well, what rest
8:24
looked like on that? Now we're on
8:26
Monday. Now it's Monday and what rest
8:29
and remember I have not slept all night,
8:31
right? And now what rest looks like
8:33
because I'm still contracting is
8:34
basically squeezing in 15 20 minute naps
8:37
in between contractions. And that's
8:39
basically what I did. Although finally
8:42
towards night time it felt like my body
8:43
knew what I needed. And I um and I was
8:47
able to get one full hour uh one full
8:50
hour of sleep. And that's the most sleep
8:53
I got in all of this before giving
8:55
birth. And um and then the best way I
8:58
understand now why people love water
8:59
births because the most tolerable that I
9:02
could withstand these contractions and
9:04
this laboring was standing in the shower
9:07
and uh and just standing there letting
9:09
the water hit my belly, letting the
9:11
water hit my back. I would get on all
9:13
fours in the shower. I would do hands on
9:15
the wall in the shower and that was like
9:17
the best the best place until my legs
9:20
really just couldn't hold me up anymore.
9:22
And uh and so now it's you know Tuesday
9:25
morning and since I still have don't
9:28
seem to have been progressing much
9:30
further. They want me to get a an
9:31
ultrasound and when I go to do the
9:33
ultrasound they said that I'm very low
9:35
on fluid and they're like when's your
9:37
water break? And I'm like yeah and I'm
9:38
like apparently my water hasn't broken
9:40
so I don't know how I'm low on fluid. So
9:43
anyways they're like well this baby
9:44
needs to come out today because you're
9:45
too low on fluid. So I go back to the
9:47
Are we now Lizzie? Let's
9:50
we are now two and a half days in of
9:53
laboring without any drugs or any
9:56
progression. And home going back to the
10:00
birthing center. Oh, we went back and
10:02
forth all the things. Our bags with us
10:04
each time, our food with us each time,
10:05
all the things. And so they go back to
10:09
the birthing center again. This is now
10:10
Tuesday afternoon. And they do another
10:14
they go to do another labor check. And
10:16
when I undress, boom, there comes out
10:18
like a big gush of fluid. That must be
10:21
my water breaking. And then they do a
10:24
labor check and they tell me that I am
10:25
still 4 cm. And then they also tell me
10:30
the news that I am no longer a good fit
10:32
to have a baby there and that I have to
10:34
go to the hospital. Now, what were your
10:36
feelings at that
10:38
moment? Very, very defeated. Very
10:42
scared. To me, going to the hospital
10:45
meant an automatic
10:46
C-section. So, and my doula is scheduled
10:51
to fly in and her flight gets scalled
10:54
and so she will not be there at all. So,
10:56
I'm just feeling like everything is
10:58
going against what I wanted. And even
11:01
though the midwives were so warm and
11:03
helpful and encouraging this whole time,
11:06
the one specific midwife who delivered
11:09
that message delivered it a little cold
11:12
in my for me and it I didn't feel um
11:16
very supported in that moment. So now we
11:19
have to come home and repack our bags
11:21
because if you're going to give birth in
11:22
a birthing center, they actually you
11:25
don't spend the night there. Once you
11:27
give birth, once the baby breastfeeds
11:29
for the first time, pass the first bowel
11:30
movement and they do all the checks that
11:32
they have to do that they same checks
11:33
that they do in the hospital, they send
11:35
you home and literally you can go home
11:37
within 4 to 6 hours of giving birth. So
11:40
my bag being packed for the birthing
11:42
center needs to now look very different
11:43
for the hospital. But imagine it has now
11:45
been two and a half days of laboring, no
11:48
sleep. That bag that I packed for the
11:50
hospital made zero sense. I did not have
11:53
anything I needed. We go to the hospital
11:55
and it's like a scene of a movie because
11:57
we have no relationship with any doctor.
11:59
I'm showing up to Mount Si on the beach
12:01
where we live and I we literally walk in
12:04
with a birthing ball with all of our
12:06
things and we're like we're here to have
12:08
a baby and they're probably looking at
12:10
you saying, "Who are you? We've never
12:13
seen you before." Basically, I want to
12:16
stop you right there. I want to stop you
12:18
right there because let's not forget
12:20
that you are somebody's daughter.
12:22
You have a mama, too. Okay. Oh, my
12:25
parents at this point are just like
12:27
besides themselves. And of course,
12:29
because they wanted me the whole time.
12:30
They're with that I forget what you call
12:32
it, that founders membership with
12:33
Baptist Hospital. You know, my dad could
12:35
have had me set up with a suite. And I
12:38
the whole time I'm like, I'm not
12:39
interested in going to Baptist to keep
12:41
me away from there. Like all the things,
12:44
right? And so we show up and they're
12:46
like, do you have a doctor? Nope. No
12:47
doctor. And they're like, all right. So
12:48
they just admit me, all the things. And
12:51
I'm trying to, you know, I tell them,
12:53
I'm like, I still need to labor. I need
12:54
to stand. And they're like, all right,
12:55
but you got all this stuff hooked up to
12:57
you. They're like, you know, just be
12:58
careful. And so we we finally get into
13:01
the room and the main doctor comes in
13:03
and she does the labor check and she
13:04
tells me that I I can't remember
13:06
exactly, but I'm either five or 6 cm. So
13:09
days now or two days? Yes. And and and
13:12
almost three days. Three days. So side
13:14
note, if you are someone that knows you
13:17
want a natural birth, there is a
13:19
coaching of the your partner that also
13:22
goes into this. So I had to tell Danny
13:25
because I was being taught my husband
13:27
Danny. I was like I for sure laboring
13:30
like most women that want to go natural,
13:32
I will ask for an epidural at some point
13:34
in time because I'm going to want to
13:35
give up because I'm going to be
13:36
exhausted and this is going to be
13:38
unbearable. And I'm like, under no
13:40
circumstances do you fold and allow it
13:42
to happen. This is what I've told him up
13:45
until the whole time, right? I'm like,
13:47
don't give in to my request. And I'm
13:49
like, cuz I'm it's from what I hear and
13:51
understand, I will request it, but don't
13:53
let me because you know what my end goal
13:55
is and what I want. So when they tell me
13:58
that I'm 5 to 6 cm dilated and that
14:01
clearly it shows that I progressed a
14:03
little bit, my husband, he's like,
14:06
"Okay, you're progressing. go a little
14:08
bit longer. So, I labor another six
14:12
hours in the hospital without drugs. It
14:15
is now close to midnight on that Tuesday
14:17
night. They come and check me again, but
14:19
they still say I'm at that 56 centimeter
14:21
mark. So, at that point, I go, I cannot
14:24
anymore. I go, I need an epidural
14:27
because not just for the pain. And I'm
14:29
like, but I need to sleep, right? I'm
14:31
like, I there is not there's there's
14:33
there's it's been three days and there's
14:35
not rest waiting for me at the other
14:37
side of this. Like I'm going to be a mom
14:39
at the other side of this and I you know
14:41
I'm going to have a newborn. So I get
14:43
the epidural and I finally rest and my
14:45
husband and I finally rest and then they
14:48
start the slow drip of ptocin and I even
14:52
asked I go are you sure we have to do
14:54
this route? Is there not something else
14:55
we can do? I've heard all kinds of
14:57
things. I know other kinds of people's
14:59
experience of ptocin and things going
15:02
not the best way. And the the nurse was
15:04
so nice, but she was like, "No,
15:06
everything is going to be fine." She's
15:07
like, "We're going to start a slow
15:08
drip." So, they start the slow drip. And
15:10
this is where hits the fan. And my
15:13
all of a sudden, I mean, my husband and
15:15
I are passed out. The room is dark. And
15:17
all of a sudden, within seconds, every
15:19
doctor, nurse, attending, you name it,
15:22
is in our room, lights on. And you can
15:24
tell it is like code red status. And I
15:27
am like woken up from my slumber and
15:30
they are like his heartbeat has dropped
15:33
50%. And so they are flipping me all
15:37
over in all kinds of directions to get
15:39
his heartbeat back up. They finally do.
15:42
They leave. My husband and I have no
15:45
words. I mean, we just look at each
15:48
other and we literally just fall go back
15:50
to sleep. We have nothing to say within.
15:53
I couldn't tell you the amount of time
15:55
that passed, but then the same thing
15:58
again. They My room is filled with at
16:01
least 10 people and they are doing
16:04
everything again. His heartbeat has
16:06
dropped again dramatically. They're
16:08
trying to find it. They're trying to get
16:10
it back up. They stick a fetal monitor
16:13
up me, attach it to his head, and then
16:17
they're like, "We're going to stop the
16:18
ptocin. He's obviously not responding
16:20
well. I'm like, "You think?" And so they
16:24
stop they stop the ptocin. We fall back
16:27
asleep, but then it happens a third time
16:30
off of a regular contraction. And
16:32
finally the doctor's like, "You have
16:34
been in labor for a long time." Um,
16:37
obviously he's been under distress.
16:39
They're like, "You need a C-section."
16:42
And so at this point, I'm just like,
16:44
"Get him out." Of course.
16:47
So now it's the mad dash of being rushed
16:50
to surgery, gathering our things. You
16:54
know, they strap me down, which what
16:56
made me feel like I'm in a psych ward.
16:58
You know, they strapped me down to the
16:59
table. It freaking sucks. They have to
17:01
wait until everything is completely set
17:03
up before they let my husband in. They
17:05
perform the C-section. They pull down a
17:08
curtain. They had one of those clear
17:09
curtains. They let me see my son. I
17:11
immediately lost it crying one out of
17:13
relief that like, "Thank God he's here."
17:16
Yeah. and he's alive, you know, and
17:18
everything's okay. And then um and then
17:21
they put his cheek up to mine and man,
17:22
that that warmth, that feeling of like
17:24
his skin against mine is a feeling and a
17:28
sensation I'll never forget. But it just
17:30
it's it's sucked. You know, I wanted to
17:31
hold him so bad. And I'm strapped to a
17:34
table and I can't. And um and then they
17:37
take him away and I send my husband to
17:39
go with him because remember also a
17:42
reason of birthing centers. There's lots
17:44
of things that the hospital does that I
17:45
was not about. So I told my husband, I'm
17:46
like, "You go with him and make sure
17:48
none of those things happen."
17:51
So, and so I'm there by myself. And for
17:54
anyone else that's gone through a
17:55
C-section, like, yes, you're numb to a
17:57
certain extent where I can't feel like a
17:59
scalpel being, you know, like, but at
18:02
the same time, like you you feel plenty.
18:05
There's plenty that you feel like
18:07
they're definitely I felt the moving of
18:09
all my insides and then now they're
18:11
struggling to get my placenta out. They
18:13
had asked me multiple times if like I
18:15
had um surgeries before and I was like
18:17
nope this is my very first surgery ever.
18:20
I've never had into a hospital
18:23
like this is my first my first rodeo
18:26
here in all senses of the word right you
18:28
know of the phrase right now and so it
18:31
took him a long time and finally the
18:32
doctors and mind you I wanted no drugs
18:34
I'm a naturistress I don't take medicine
18:36
for anything I don't take antibiotics
18:37
for anything like I'm one of those and I
18:40
have to be in dire states to be to take
18:42
any of those things and finally one of
18:44
the the anesthesiologist was like I can
18:46
give you a nice little cocktail of
18:47
things so you don't feel any of this and
18:48
I was like well you guys have already
18:50
drugged me plenty, so might as well add
18:52
add it to the mix. So, I dozed off and
18:56
um you know, it's two hours later or so
18:57
what my husband says and I'm in the
18:59
recovery room and my husband comes in
19:00
and we had our emotional moment because
19:03
we were like what was
19:06
that? Like what was that? What was
19:09
everything that just happened? Like
19:10
trying to process everything. And then I
19:12
finally asked him like can I see him?
19:15
And he's like yes you can. And so they
19:17
brought him into me and he said my
19:18
entire mood and demeanor and everything
19:20
uh changed the minute I I I got my son.
19:23
And you know it's so many people knew
19:27
the experience I wanted to have. So many
19:30
um and yet when people found out about
19:33
my traumatic experience. It's so
19:36
interesting how few people really wanted
19:38
to um hold the space for me to share my
19:42
story or really even asked how I was
19:45
doing and feeling from it. And um and
19:48
it's it's one of those like you know
19:50
something I'm hoping that we can change
19:52
on this platform is that you know making
19:56
people a little bit more comfortable
19:57
with having the tough conversations
19:59
hearing the hard and tough stories and
20:01
not just diminishing it or shoving it to
20:04
the side or pretending like it never
20:06
happened. Um, another another thing is
20:10
um you know so many people the people
20:13
that I that did want me to share my
20:15
story and listened like it's like how
20:18
immediately we just like shut down want
20:20
to shut down the bad feelings and just
20:21
go and I'm all about being positive all
20:23
about it. My people call my husband and
20:25
I Mr. or Mrs. Bright Side and I'm a yoga
20:28
teacher for crying out loud. Of course
20:29
I'm about the positivity and you know so
20:32
many people just wanted to quickly say
20:33
oh but it doesn't matter. He's here and
20:35
you're here and that's all that matters.
20:38
Yes. And I still went through a
20:41
traumatic experience. Important for me
20:43
to acknowledge it and process it so I
20:45
don't bring it to my next birthing
20:47
experience. And also still very valid
20:51
valid that I feel the way I feel. And
20:53
the way I feel is I for sure labored
20:57
like a boss. But do I do I feel like I
21:01
gave birth? I do not at this moment
21:03
right now. I feel like surgeons gave
21:06
birth for me. Now, do I like feeling
21:10
like that? I don't. But it's how I feel.
21:14
Do I know if I will feel like this
21:15
forever? I don't know. I can't answer
21:17
that because forever hasn't happened
21:19
yet. Um, do I know many people that have
21:22
had C-sections that don't feel that way?
21:24
Absolutely. Do I know people that elect
21:28
to have a C-section because they're not
21:30
interested to experience an eighth of
21:32
what I experienced? I totally understand
21:34
why.
21:37
I totally understand why and I have no
21:39
judgment to those people, you know, like
21:41
you if you want to schedule it because
21:43
you are not interested in feeling what a
21:45
contraction feels like, I understand
21:47
why. If you want to just know when your
21:49
baby is coming instead of having that
21:51
anxiety and that anticipation, I
21:53
understand why. And for those of you
21:56
that still want the natural birth, I
21:58
will not like how others did to me and
22:00
shared their bad stories of trying to
22:02
have a natural birth and they dumped
22:03
their negative story on me, which I also
22:06
was not helpful or supportive um or
22:09
appreciated. I would still tell anyone
22:11
who still was aiming to have a natural
22:13
child birth, go for it. Go for it. I
22:16
know plenty of people that have had
22:18
natural child's birth and that it went
22:20
exactly how they wanted it to go. I have
22:22
friends that delivered at home. I had
22:24
the friends that delivered in the
22:25
hospital on no drugs, you know, as much
22:27
as they try to push them on you. I I
22:29
know people that have had very
22:30
successful stories. And so I would never
22:33
dump my story on someone else as like a
22:36
means of like prepare yourself. Although
22:39
my takeaway was I wish, you know, I was
22:42
so focus on like focus on what you do
22:45
want to happen. Manifest, right? That
22:47
that word we throw out a lot like
22:49
manifest the positive experience you do
22:51
want to have. And I do wish I sat with,
22:54
okay, what does it look like if it
22:56
doesn't go my way? And how am I going to
22:57
handle it and process it and how can I
22:59
be prepared for that? Because I was not
23:03
prepared for an emergency C-section. My
23:06
bag wasn't prepared. My mind wasn't
23:08
prepared. My heart wasn't prepared. Um,
23:10
and then the recovery of what came after
23:13
was not prepared. That is for the
23:15
birds.
23:18
I was like, "What is
23:20
this?" And um you know, and so I you
23:24
know, there's a lots of takeaways from
23:25
this, but I would still strongly
23:27
encourage anyone that's like wanting to
23:29
go against the grain, you do that. And
23:31
also be prepared for, as motherhood will
23:34
show you over and over again, you can
23:38
plan all you want. You can be as type A.
23:41
You can be organized. You can think of
23:43
all of it and be prepared and know that
23:46
it will not happen that way and be okay
23:48
with it. Be okay with it and go with the
23:51
flow. Absolutely. I was in the other
23:55
spectrum. I had two planned C-sections.
23:58
Never made it to my due date. They ended
24:00
up in emergency C-sections. I will tell
24:03
the story the other day, but I planned
24:05
for those. I'm the type A and I had to
24:08
come to peace with the fact that it
24:10
wasn't gonna go my way. I had this
24:12
fantasy that I was gonna go with my hair
24:13
blow-dried, my nails done, you know, it
24:16
was going to be this beautiful event.
24:19
Not life does not go as planned,
24:21
especially when there's children
24:23
involved. Absolutely. Um, and so, and
24:26
then of course I, you know, I didn't get
24:29
the birthing experience that I wanted,
24:31
but I am of eternally grateful that my
24:34
son and I are both here and alive. And I
24:37
am so thankful for the experience of
24:39
being his mother and being able to raise
24:42
him. And um, and my story will always be
24:45
my story. My experience will always be
24:46
my experience. And it won't take away
24:48
from this other experience that I get to
24:50
live daily. Amen.
24:53
Lizzie, the fact that you've just told
24:55
this three-day story in under 30
24:58
minutes. Yes. That's amazing.
25:02
Yes. Yes. Um, with that in mind, knowing
25:07
that it's not going to go according to
25:10
how you want it to, what do you wish for
25:12
the day you go through this experience
25:15
again? What would you hope for?
25:18
um that I can just go that I can just
25:21
trust that whatever happens is going to
25:22
happen the way it's supposed to and that
25:24
the end goal is a healthy and alive mom
25:29
and baby and however it needs to
25:32
transpire is how it'll transpire and
25:33
I'll be ready for it all. Fantastic.
25:37
Lizzie, thank you so much for your
25:38
vulnerability today. I hope it of course
25:41
helps, you know, somebody else who's
25:42
considering a home birth or going
25:45
natural or somebody who's planning it
25:48
all the way up to the upeenth inning and
25:50
knowing that it may not go their way and
25:53
still have grace to be okay with it. um
25:56
that that and also being in support, you
25:59
know, when someone shares what they hope
26:00
their birthing story to be, even if it's
26:02
like so opposite, you know, even if you
26:06
don't say words that are discouraging,
26:08
just know that the energy you give off
26:10
is plenty. The facial expressions, like
26:13
watch that, you know, like just like we
26:16
we hold space, right, is another term we
26:18
throw out there. That's what holding
26:19
space is. Is like a non-judgment,
26:22
non-reactionary like just it's okay.
26:24
Like everyone, it motherhood is such a
26:27
personal journey. And there's so many
26:29
personal decisions and there's so many
26:31
ways to go about it all. So many ways to
26:34
get pregnant, to give birth, and have a
26:36
baby, to parent, to raise a kid, all the
26:38
things. And just holding space and being
26:41
okay with everyone's way of wanting to
26:43
do it. Yeah. Abs. Absolutely. I couldn't
26:47
agree more. And uh you know, I'm so
26:51
proud of you. You definitely wore a
26:53
superhero cape for those three days
26:55
amongst the many capes that you already
26:57
hold. I didn't feel like one.
27:00
That is amazing. But that's
27:02
unfortunately all the time we have for
27:04
today. We hope you made it to your
27:05
commute or made it to work, finished
27:08
your nursing, uh got to the
27:09
pediatrician's office in time. And um
27:13
Lizzie, thank you again. Thank you.
27:15
We've absolutely. Next week we've got
27:17
Alana Guarte. Um she's a board certified
27:20
behavior analyst and founder of Maven
27:22
and Behavior who's going to be talking
27:24
to us. She's been working with kids with
27:26
um autism for the last 15 years and
27:29
she's also a stepmom and mom to a
27:32
beautiful three and 10year-old boy.
27:34
She's going to be sharing her story with
27:36
us next Monday and Friday. So um we will
27:39
circle back. Have a great weekend. Enjoy
27:42
your
27:43
babies. Yes. Have a wonderful weekend
27:46
everyone. Thank you. Bye.