Latest / Mathis Family Talks / REPLAY | Family Court: Love, Boundaries and Control | Ep. 13

Transcript

REPLAY | Family Court: Love, Boundaries and Control | Ep. 13 · Mathis Family Talks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I think that I would be grossed out if I
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: didn't grow up hearing.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: It all happen. And so, you know, we grew up
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: hearing it all happen. And so we just know what happens,
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: which is the good thing.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: I didn't know until recent years that y'all used to
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: hear her.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, you used to hear you?
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: Me?
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: I used to be so embarrassed when my friends were.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Over.
• 0:42
  Speaker 5: Are you kidding me? I had to turn the TV up.
• 0:47
  Speaker 5: Are you kidding me? Why did y'all ever say anything
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: all these years?
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: I'm Judge Greg Matthews.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: And I am Linda Mathis.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Welcome to Mathis Family Talks.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Hello, folks. Welcome to Mathis Family Talks.
• 1:10
  Speaker 6: And we are here today, and we are going to
• 1:13
  Speaker 6: hold court.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Now, you're usually the judge, okay?
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: I'm not the judge? Not today.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Not today.
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: I ain't going to hold back.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: All you want to do is hear what you have
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: to say. We all have.
• 1:26
  Speaker 7: Opinions on this, on these topics.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Don't tell me I'm in front of the bench. Y'all
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: about to tell me I'm being prosecuted. And that might
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: be the case.
• 1:35
  Speaker 6: So we're going to talk about today, when does family
• 1:38
  Speaker 6: support become family interference?
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: Okay, that's a hot one.
• 1:44
  Speaker 6: I guess we had a little bit of all that.
• 1:47
  Speaker 6: You guys growing up, most definitely.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Interference.
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: Like what? I don't understand a thing with that stuff.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: The main one.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Give me an example.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Basketball.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: What about it? You said an example.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: You want your kids to play.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: A sport because you thought you should have done it.
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: All of that. You want your kids to go and
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: study certain things or work certain places.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Because you think you know their skills and then you
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: choose the highest level of achievement. in that skill set
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: that they have.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: Or you wish you had that skill, and so you
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: let it live through them.
• 2:28
  Speaker 6: Exactly.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: I got the skill from me, so therefore I'm going
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: to develop theirs because no one developed mine. And I
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: don't want to.
• 2:36
  Speaker 7: Oh, that's what it is.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: I don't want them to not live the dream that
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: they have the skill level to me.
• 2:45
  Speaker 6: We want to get some input from the viewers that
• 2:48
  Speaker 6: have rolled in to us.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: They have questions for us. I'm going to start with
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: the first question.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: The first one I wanted to add some fun to it.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: What's the fun?
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: The fun is this case that I found and I
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: wanted to see if you all knew if it was
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: true or false. Uh-oh, it's not the curveball. It just
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: starts off the family court in session.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: So does that make you the judge? Just as a
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: fun part, True or false? Was this a real case
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: or not? A couple sued their adult son because he
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: wouldn't give them grandchildren.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: I hope that's false. Oh, no, I heard about this case.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: It's true.
• 3:31
  Speaker 7: What legal grounds do you have to force someone to
• 3:33
  Speaker 7: have a baby?
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: And all the way to the Supreme Court, and the
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Supreme Court outruled, overruled it. How did that get to
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: the Supreme Court? There are no grandparent rights.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Do you remember the details of the case?
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: No, but it makes sense, but no. What kind of
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: body anatomy? I remember this being true, but I'm trying
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: to remember. I think they said something like they invest it.
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: and their children with the expectation of having grandchildren.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: So they want their money back or something?
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: No, that's what it was.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: It was like, we raised you.
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: We paid for your school. We paid for this and that.
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: They might have even paid for freezing the eggs or
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: something like that. So they felt entitled to the grandkids.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: Come on, give them their money back.
• 4:12
  Speaker 7: Do you think parents are entitled to grandchildren?
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: No, I don't.
• 4:17
  Speaker 7: Me either.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
• 4:19
  Speaker 6: I don't think so either because you cannot guarantee that
• 4:23
  Speaker 6: anyone is going to be able to bear children.
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: Right, or be a parent and actually parent the child,
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: even if they can bear them.
• 4:29
  Speaker 6: I do believe, I always tell people, if you don't
• 4:32
  Speaker 6: want to have kids, you shouldn't have them.
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: For sure.
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: Because it's a lot of work.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: You have to be in it. You know what I mean?
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: If you're not going to be in it, you shouldn't
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: have them.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: And I think that's probably why parents... want grandkids because
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: they don't have to be in it as much.
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: No, I'm saying it's a fun part.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Being a grandparent is fun. I'll tell you why a
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: parent wants grandkids.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: Because it's fun.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Why? Number one, you want to see your legacy.
• 4:57
  Speaker 6: You want to see your, you know, you look at
• 4:59
  Speaker 6: yourself and you want to see it live on. I
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: want to see it live on through my children. I
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: want to see it live on through my grandchildren. When
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: I look at my grandchildren now, I see me.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: And I love it. And so that was my number
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: one reason I wanted to see generations and generations of
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: my family. Carry on.
• 5:18
  Speaker 7: And you just like babies.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I love my grandkids.
• 5:22
  Speaker 6: They're exciting and it's interesting. And I don't have to
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: do the heavy stuff anymore.
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: Exactly.
• 5:27
  Speaker 7: That's my point.
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: I love the fun.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: You know, I tell people often the most fun years
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: of my life when you all were age 1 to 15.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: It ended there because after 15, you didn't want anything
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: to do with anybody.
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: I know, I'm so sad. Parents, that's typical.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: So now I got another group I can have fun
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: with for 15 years.
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: And then they're not going.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: To want to do it.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: This generation, you may get 11 years, maybe 12.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: But I guess when you say it that way, that's
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: an expectation that you should have children to.
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: Carry on your family's legacy. It's a hope and desire.
• 6:01
  Speaker 7: It's a hope and desire, okay.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Because you can have fun, otherwise... Go borrow somebody's kids
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: for the day and have fun with them.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: For me.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Go to the Boys and Girls Club.
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: Because I have really thought about just the biblical nature
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: of it, too, in a sense. You're the resident Bible
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: expert of the tendency to be fruitful and multiply. It's
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: like carry on the family, carry on legacy. I just
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: think about all of that.
• 6:24
  Speaker 6: No, that is good, but God didn't bless every single
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: person in a way to have children.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: So I think for parents to expect that, no.
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: No.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: For parents to want that and to whoosh and pray for,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: that's what you want. And to sue for it?
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: No.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Let me hop in here and say the case was real.
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: Okay, good.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: But, you know, you talk about Supreme Court and all that.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: It was actually in India.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but they have a case here in the United
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: States Supreme Court.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to fact check it because I believe you.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: If you don't fact check it, the listeners and viewers will.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to get that wrong.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: It was a big case in the 80s or 90s.
• 7:05
  Speaker 6: I do remember some parents, too, because their kids, it's
• 7:09
  Speaker 6: not about that their kids didn't have children.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: They wouldn't let them be a part of their life.
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: Oh, that, yes. So curious, though, Amir, what happened with
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: the case in India? Do you know? I feel like India,
• 7:19
  Speaker 5: they might have seen it.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: In the case, they did lose the case.
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: They lost the case in India as well.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: That would be a big thing in India. A lot
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: of parents doing it.
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: I was going to say, I just feel like their
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: culture is more tightly wound around family traditions than American
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: culture might be.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Your grandparents' rights are treating the parents right. That's where
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: you get your grandparents right. By treating their parents right.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Your children.
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: I mean, I, yes, forcing your kids to have grand,
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: forcing your children to have grandkids is one thing. Forcing
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: your grandkids, I mean, your children to let you be
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: part of their kid's life, it's a whole other issue.
• 8:03
  Speaker 7: You know, that part is actually really sad. But I agree.
• 8:07
  Speaker 7: You got to have a good relationship with your children.
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: That's why having a good connection and a good relationship
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: with your children is important.
• 8:12
  Speaker 7: And I hate to go in.
• 8:14
  Speaker 6: This way, but, you know, sometimes you say it's sad,
• 8:17
  Speaker 6: but it might be sad. You might be the right
• 8:18
  Speaker 6: thing to do.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Depending on who your parents are.
• 8:20
  Speaker 7: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. That's still sad, yeah.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: All right, so let's move on. Like we talked about,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: we had some people write in some questions. So, Mom,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: how about you lead us off of those?
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, the trust case. Hi, Mathis family.
• 8:34
  Speaker 6: I told my mom I was pregnant, and I asked
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: her not to tell anyone yet.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Less than an hour later, she posted it on Facebook.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Friends and relatives started calling before my husband and I
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: had announced it ourselves. My mom says she was just excited.
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: I told her she'll be the last person to know
• 8:57
  Speaker 6: important news from now on.
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: Don't even try it. Am I overreacting? Sounds like somebody
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: already knows. And that wasn't even the question.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: It wasn't even about you. I'll say this.
• 9:13
  Speaker 6: As a parent, I know how excited I was when
• 9:17
  Speaker 6: I was told. So I would say it's okay to
• 9:21
  Speaker 6: give the parent grace if they had told a friend
• 9:24
  Speaker 6: or two.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: But to put it on Facebook, that's a little bit
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: too much.
• 9:28
  Speaker 7: Yeah, that's a lot.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Like Kamara says, it's not about me, so that exonerates me.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: You can stop accusing me of that. Kamara just defended
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: my case, and she's a lawyer. She says that's not
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: about me.
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: Just so the viewers and listeners, if y'all are confused,
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: You know who the person that tells everybody's business in
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: the family is because they're protesting a lot right now.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: It's a shame, but I couldn't even get through the story.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: He was already defending himself.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: I'm glad to know now it had nothing to do
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: with me.
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: I'll say this.
• 10:00
  Speaker 6: When I first found out with my first grandchild, I
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: was not told not to tell anybody.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: But the first one, was I told not to tell anybody?
• 10:10
  Speaker 7: I hadn't told people yet.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: No, you told us, but you didn't tell us not
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: to tell anybody? Probably so.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: Well, you can remember that it didn't hurt that bad.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I didn't go on social media, but I told all
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: my friends.
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: I know that much.
• 10:22
  Speaker 7: Yes, I'm sure you did.
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: My question was, from the caller, was did they overreact
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: by saying they're not going to tell the.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Parent any more news?
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: No, it's hard to build trust.
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: No, but is that the question?
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: The last thing was, I told her she's going to
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: be the last to know.
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah. No, that's... That's completely fair to me. Especially
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: if they told them not. And Facebook, that's extreme.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Facebook is extreme.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Y'all don't believe in second chances.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Not with that. Not with that.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: How y'all going to be judges here today and don't
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: believe I'm a second chance?
• 10:52
  Speaker 6: No, it just means that if you have something you
• 10:54
  Speaker 6: want to hold close to your heart, don't tell that
• 10:56
  Speaker 6: person until you wait.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: The person may change.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: Do you think she was excited that she deserved a
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: little grace?
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say no.
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: Sorry.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not a second chancer. I would tell you
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: when I want everybody else to know. That's all, too.
• 11:09
  Speaker 7: Trust has to be built, and I would not trust
• 11:11
  Speaker 7: that person.
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: I see.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I would use that for you anyway, so.
• 11:14
  Speaker 6: I would tell you stuff on a need-to-know basis right then.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: If I don't want anybody to know. Well, you know
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: how I am.
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: I'm the same way. Both of y'all, actually.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: You're talking about him.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: You're the same way.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: She's like, don't tell nobody.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I tell nobody.
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: In the family.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Then the next person like, but don't tell nobody. Mom
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: told me, but she told me don't tell nobody.
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: Dad's only problem is that he tell you he told people.
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: And then he put it on Facebook, too.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: No, that's not true. I don't put it on Facebook.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: I will let you know I gossip.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: He called his friends, and they talked so loud. Everybody
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: in the house know.
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: It's like, Lord.
• 11:49
  Speaker 7: And all they friends know, too, because he on the
• 11:51
  Speaker 7: other line so loud.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: So, our consensus is that what?
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: They did not overreact. I don't think they did.
• 11:56
  Speaker 7: I didn't think she overreacted.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: No, I don't think so, either. And I think it
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: might be a limit to what she can let mom know.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Before she wants to public.
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: No, that's all. Because that's a particularly.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: It's not that I'm not going to tell mom.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: That was me.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you, but I'm not going to
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: tell you.
• 12:11
  Speaker 7: Until I want everyone to know.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: What if you swear you don't believe it if she say,
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: I swear I ain't going to do it no more.
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: Nope.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: Ooh, can't even apologize to y'all.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: You can apologize.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, not something that important because
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: people feel when they Don't want you to.
• 12:28
  Speaker 6: Tell people they want to make sure they are secure
• 12:30
  Speaker 6: in their pregnancy. And that's a big thing to be
• 12:32
  Speaker 6: secure in your pregnancy before the whole world knows because
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: we know what can happen sometimes.
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: I guess that you have a little bit of a point.
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: I'm still on the writer's side. I think they did
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: not overreact. But I guess the opportunity I would give
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: is I would want to know more about Did you
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: not hear me when I asked you not to share it?
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: What was the thought process to you putting this on Facebook?
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: I was excited!
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Yes, and y'all know I got memory problems. That's probably
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: what's going on with me. I don't tell. I just
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: have memory problems. I wouldn't even know the thought process.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: I forget that you told me not to.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I just want to say, there was a moment when
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: I told Mom something, and she told Grandma, and then
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Grandma told one of our cousins, and they came back
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: to me and got me in trouble. So I stopped.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: What was that?
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: Oh, I don't care. And I don't feel bad for
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: you at all because you were the first person I
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: came out to. And I asked you not to tell anybody.
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: You told the whole family.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: That was for your.
• 13:31
  Speaker 8: I was trying to help you. I believe it would
• 13:43
  Speaker 8: have taken him a long time to.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Did you ever trust him again?
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: No, I didn't care. He was grateful for it. That's correct.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't have been grateful. I was grateful.
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: I would have never told... It would have taken me
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: years to tell... Well, because one of the most difficult...
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: When you have to tell people something so personal over
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: and over again, it doesn't necessarily get easy, especially when
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: it's in such a short time frame. You know, it's
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: all consecutive. You've got to have the same conversation with
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: 10 different people.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, you didn't put it on Facebook, though, did you?
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: I did not.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: I did not. If Facebook wasn't out then, I'm just joking.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: It came out good in your case because you didn't care.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: But what if somebody else wasn't ready for that, wasn't
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: ready for the whole world to know?
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: Well, and that's why you've got to tread lightly, and
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: you've got to know what you're dealing with and who
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: you're dealing with, and it is a risk. It definitely
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: is a risk.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: And it turned out great in your case because, you know,
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: obviously we just loved you anyway.
• 14:36
  Speaker 7: Well, and that's the point.
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: It didn't come from a place of maliciousness. He knew
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: our family and how they would feel about me and
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: want to support me, which was the bigger, the more
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: important objective than, you know, me temporarily being afraid and
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: saying don't say anything.
• 14:54
  Speaker 6: So our conclusion with that was that grandma was happy.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: She was excited. No, she was excited. Oh, you're talking
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: about the case again. The case, she was excited.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Grandma was happy.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: We would give her grace, but we.
• 15:05
  Speaker 6: Might hold things in the future a little closer to
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: our hearts and not let mom know.
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: Correct.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Until we're ready for the whole world.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: That's going to be hard to do. I love her dearly,
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: but she will talk, talk. Maybe that's where I learned
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: it from. I've been around her for 45, 46 years now.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: We know my mom. No, grandma.
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: Sylvia Reese.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: I hear her talking on the phone about what I'm doing.
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: Just little stuff.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: Gregory upstairs.
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: Oh, for sure.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Gregory, he's out in the kitchen.
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: Gregory leaving.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: He going out of town.
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: It's cute.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: So the moral is.
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: Grandma and the story were giving grace, but no more secrets,
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: and that we have a family full of gossips.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes. Who in this room is the best at
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: keeping secrets?
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: Me. I was going to say maybe Kamara. Yeah, I
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: think so.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Me, for sure. For sure.
• 16:07
  Speaker 5: With me in a close second. I think with me
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: at a close second.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Maybe, yeah.
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: You don't think so?
• 16:12
  Speaker 7: No, yeah. Yeah, for sure.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I keep secrets now.
• 16:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah, right.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I got lots of secrets.
• 16:18
  Speaker 5: Like what?
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: Y'all want to know. That's how I am. I've redeemed myself.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I'm becoming really good at keeping secrets.
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Everybody's
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: so proud of.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Their ability to keep secrets.
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: Amir's like, I'm so good. Amir's not going to keep
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: the secrets.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: I'm going to have to distrust y'all. Y'all got all
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: these secrets. That's a secret. I'm not talking about distrusting
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: the person who talks. Distrust the person with secrets.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: What's the secret? He told me to hold a secret.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: She told me to hold two secrets.
• 16:50
  Speaker 7: I never tell you.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: To hold a secret because I don't trust you to
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: hold a secret.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Y'all got too much to hide, it sounds like to me.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm trying to say.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: All right, we're moving on now.
• 16:58
  Speaker 6: We're going to go to letter number two.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Here's the next letter. Hi, Mathis family. I'm 27 and
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: my parents have been helping me pay rent while I'm
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: looking for work. Recently, they told me that they'll stop
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: helping unless I break up with my boyfriend because they
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: don't think he's good for me. I feel like they're
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: using money to control my life. They say that they're
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: trying to protect me. Who's right?
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm sorry, but the parents, if you supporting somebody.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: You think they have the right to control you?
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: I mean, it's their money.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: If they're a minor.
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry. No, they're 27 years old, but they're saying,
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: if you don't do what we want, we're going to
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: stop supporting you.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: What?
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: They just shouldn't support you.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: That's terrible.
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: That's what they're saying. Who's saying? The parents.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: In this case, you see.
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: They're saying that, okay, if you don't want to live
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: like we want you to live. And you agree with that.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: It's their money. If I'm taking money from somebody and
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: they want me to, that I am. No, we just
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: don't give it to you if you don't approve of
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: your use. If you are a drug addict, no, I'm
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: not giving you money.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: That's what they're saying.
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: If she isn't. Yes, because they don't like the boyfriend.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: Or if you're living a destructive life.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: They believe the boyfriend is destructive.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: They didn't say the boyfriend was instructed.
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: They didn't like the boyfriend.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: I'm not giving you money if the effect is that
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: it will hurt yourself.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: So the letter says that they don't think he's good
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: for me. So if you all thought that someone, anyone
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: in here was dating someone that you didn't like would
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: take you down the wrong path and you were paying
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: for their livelihood, what you would say is, hey, if
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: you don't do this, you could still live and have
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: your way, but we're just not going to pay for it.
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: That's what you would say. I can tell by the
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: way you said that.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: Exactly. Looks like the parents talk first, all the parents.
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: I think this.
• 18:48
  Speaker 6: As a parent, if you are giving money to control
• 18:52
  Speaker 6: somebody's life, I think you're doing wrong.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 18:56
  Speaker 6: There are certain things, such as if the person had
• 19:00
  Speaker 6: a small amount of money or was taking the money
• 19:02
  Speaker 6: and doing things that they shouldn't do with.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: It, then, yes, you should stop the sport.
• 19:06
  Speaker 6: But if they're paying their rent and yet you want
• 19:09
  Speaker 6: to control another part of their life, I think that's wrong.
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: Because you're giving them the money for the rent, not
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: anything else. So it's like if they're still living in
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: the house.
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: People have to.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Learn to live their own life.
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
• 19:19
  Speaker 6: And as a parent, you can give advice and say,
• 19:21
  Speaker 6: you know, you can tell them about maybe how this
• 19:23
  Speaker 6: guy might not be good for you and the reasons why,
• 19:25
  Speaker 6: but you got to treat it lightly then too because
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: that could be a problem.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: And you know what people, particularly young, your kids tend
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: to do is, Tell you once again, don't run my
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: life and don't tell me what to do and where
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: to spend my money and how to spend my money. Well,
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: don't ask me. Don't lecture me. I don't have to
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: get a lecture. Oh, I'm gonna give you a lecture
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: because why are you short on your money? What did
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: you want my money, right? I'm not short on money.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: I will be shorter when I give it to you.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: So why are you short on money? Because from all
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: I understood to be the case, you can afford your
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: lifestyle because you haven't changed your lifestyle. So why do
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: you suddenly need money? Now, people don't like that. Yeah.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Well, we know this person needs the money for their rent,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and the parent has agreed to pay the rent.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: What did you do with your other money?
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Go ahead.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the problem. Y'all be evaluating that.
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: That's the lecture.
• 20:24
  Speaker 6: If I see you on social media, and you're at
• 20:28
  Speaker 6: the club, and I'm throwing up money and buying drinks
• 20:31
  Speaker 6: for everybody, then I can pull back on my rent.
• 20:34
  Speaker 6: But to say that it's tied to your boyfriend because
• 20:36
  Speaker 6: I don't like him, and if you keep dating him,
• 20:39
  Speaker 6: I'm pulling back my money.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: So basically, it's like a help with conditions. They're helping you,
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: but they have conditions on how you live your life.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: And I, unless it's kind of like you said, destructive lifestyle,
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: like I think you're helping someone with their rent. Maybe
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: they think the boyfriend's living there too and living off
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: the rent. He should be paying some of the rent.
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: But what if they both can't afford the rent? Is that,
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: like you shouldn't help them?
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: Now that's where I'm at with it. You can't pimp
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: me now. so if you and your partner or spouse
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: are working or at least one going to school or
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: one doing something then fine but laying back living off
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: the fat of the land and the fat of the
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: land the fat is coming from me the fat is
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: coming from me then you're living off me you're pimping.
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: That's my only point of like, and I personally wouldn't
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: do this if I was giving the money, but I
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: do have an opinion that if somebody is supporting your life,
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: they got a little bit of, say so.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Over how you living.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: It's to determine whether they want to give you some
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: money or not.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: They might have say so over.
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: Your apartment is too expensive.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Maybe we need to find a cheaper apartment. You're talking
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: about the rent. We're not talking about my life.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: But if I'm taking money from somebody, the way I
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: think is I'm not independent at that point.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: Well, these are the grandparents who don't get to see
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: their grandkids because if that girl have a.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Baby by that man.
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: That's a good point.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: That's a good point.
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: What's that? That these might be the grandparents that don't.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Get to see their grandkids. Oh, right.
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: Because if that baby had a baby by the man,
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: you ain't seeing them grandkids.
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: They're going to ice you up.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: I'll say this.
• 22:12
  Speaker 6: I'm just not interested in running somebody else's life.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: That's all to it. I want to see you develop.
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: I hope as a parent, I have faith.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Instilled enough in you to be able to run your
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: own life as you get older. I don't want to
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: run your life.
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: I want to give you advice.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: If you don't take it, you don't take it.
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you can also say, hey, you have one
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: more year of me paying the rent and not giving
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: any limitations. But if you don't want to pay it,
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: just give them some grace period and say, hey, I'll
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: give you six months.
• 22:44
  Speaker 7: That's all I can afford to give you.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: But you say to tie it to the boyfriend is wrong.
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: To tie it to the decision she makes in her life.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Especially dating.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I will say that things were, it's a completely different scenario,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: but when we were out of college, growing up in
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: your home, we did have to abide by rules.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: But that is a certain thing of you're giving something.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: It's not monetary, but you're giving a home. But we
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: have to follow by those rules.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think living in anyone's home, even if
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: you're an adult living at your friend's house, you need.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: To I gotta follow her rules I gotta follow your
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: rules and I'm daddy may have even bought them.
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: Even if he broke the rules I don't think you
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: would have kicked him out it would have just been
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: a lot of conversations a lot of what's going on
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: a lot of we need to fix.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: This yeah or just like I don't I don't want
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: you bringing girls or guys in the house at night
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: and that's a reasonable rule for a parent to have
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: correct if a child is living with them yep you
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: know just let me know if you're gonna be if
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: you're gonna be out all night I'm not looking for
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: you you know it's not control that's more like Disrupting
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: the household.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: And I was adamant about not having partners and boyfriend-girlfriends
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: sleep overnight prior to.
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: In the same room. In the same room.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, in the same room together.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Did you sleep overnight? overnight a whole bunch of times
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: at my parents' house.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: Thank God for your father and your parents.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: They trusted me.
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: And they trusted me.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: Even though they didn't know I was sneaking in there by.
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: One every morning. No, I'm just kidding.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: I think I was disrespecting my in-laws.
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: That is such a funny concept to me, though, just
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: in this modern world that we live in. Because Elliot's
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: parents are the same way. We go to South Carolina.
• 24:23
  Speaker 7: Now that y'all married?
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: Not that we're married, but before we were married, we
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: had to sleep in separate rooms. I was tucked up
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: in the attic. He was in the guest room.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: Then you would sneak up.
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: No, we wouldn't actually. It was, it's just funny because
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: I think about, we're doing all types of stuff when
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: we're not under the roof, but it's like, nope, in
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: this house, you go this way, you go that way.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: That is an old school, yes, yes.
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: So you wouldn't allow it. No. Hey, it's a whole
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: new generation.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: It is a new generation.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: How would you handle that in this day and age?
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: I would probably allow it if you were a long-term live-in. person.
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: Together.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: Y'all lived together for a long, yeah. And that is
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: what you all would do with us. That is partner.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: That is spouse. Y'all would say, I think y'all made,
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: it was random, but y'all were like four.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: Years at one point.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, I guess we helped him already. Before they were married? Yeah,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: with Detroit. With our son over there. Oh, I know.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: We allowed that in Detroit.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: Wait, what did you allow?
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: Well, she from out of the country, though. Oh, no. Oh, yeah,
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: y'all got real lax. What was this?
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Y'all got to laugh because they old.
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: What's the age cutoff for that? Probably 30. Probably 30.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: I think 30. I think there's a little bit of
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: a bedroom shortage.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, you can't care age 50, right?
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: I think 30 and up.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I agree. I agree. We're in our 30s now. It's
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: kind of a little bit. We have changed, haven't we?
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Y'all are modern parents.
• 25:51
  Speaker 7: Yes, we're modern parents.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Well, they got past 30.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, this next one was for Greg, actually.
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Someone wrote this specifically to him.
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: To Greg, huh? Yeah. What do they want to know
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: from Greg? What do they want to know from me?
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Everything he knows he got from his mama.
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: Yep.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: You know, just for backstory with the listeners, Greg used
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: to work on Capitol Hill in D.C.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: Oh, wow. This next one is for me. Okay. Hi, Greg.
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: I landed a great internship interview. Before the interview... My
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: mom told me to change my hairstyle, stop using slang,
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: and present myself differently. She says she's preparing me for
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: the real world. I feel like she's telling me who
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: I am isn't good enough.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Who's right?
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: Oof. That's interesting. Yeah, no, that's a very interesting one because,
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: I mean, I would say that the mom is right.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: It is the reality of the world and it's not
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: changing who you, well, it is changing who you are,
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: but We live in a world with a lot of
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: different people and you can go, I'll have an example.
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: I was in, you know, Pensacola recently, down South Florida.
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: The culture there is completely different than it is in
• 27:04
  Speaker 5: Los Angeles. I can't expect if I were to move
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: down to someplace like that, that I would be able
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: to have the same opportunities I would here if I
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: didn't change the way I behaved. I mean, it's just
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: fitting into the culture of where you are. Where you're interviewing.
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: Where you're interviewing. There's a code of conduct, a code
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: of conduct. And I don't think that's changing yourself. You
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: got to find out who you are within that code
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: of conduct. Right.
• 27:28
  Speaker 7: And I agree.
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: Even so on a younger level, like my daughter who's
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: in third grade, the teacher was saying, we're teaching them
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: like what's how to speak in front of people or
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: to a teacher and then how to speak.
• 27:40
  Speaker 7: To their friends. That's totally different.
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: It's kind of you can use slang when you're like talking,
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: but not when you're writing a paper.
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: Like there's just different.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: It's just different.
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: And it's not changing who you are.
• 27:50
  Speaker 7: It's not who you are.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: It's like there's friend talk and then there's business talk.
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: And then there's like talking to your teacher, professional talk.
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: Even with me, with my journey, for example, going from
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: politics to entertainment. I used to wear a suit every
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: single day in D.C. Man, I ain't worn a suit,
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: and I can't remember when. That's why people don't see
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: me with them. I hate wearing a suit now because
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: I just don't like it. And that's just a freak.
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: I've grown my hair out. I've gotten a tattoo or two.
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: Just things I would not have done in a career
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: in D.C. I think the principle is fitting in. You
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: have to fit in to the environment in which you're in.
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: If you want to.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: Let's say that.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: If you want to be there.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: If you want to fit in. If you want to
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: stand out as odd or different, then that's fine too.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: This ain't the opportunity for you.
• 28:36
  Speaker 7: But no, I also think the interview is just different.
• 28:40
  Speaker 7: He's talking specifically to the interview.
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: So to get in the interview, yes, we all show
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: up looking our best selves, speaking in a professional manner.
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: Well, depending on what the job is. Because I guess
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: his point is that he's trying to be the version
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: of who he thinks his best self is. His mom
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: is telling him in his mind to be someone else.
• 28:59
  Speaker 7: To be more professional.
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: I see two things in this. Slang is absolutely out, period.
• 29:05
  Speaker 6: You don't go into interviews talking slang. Now, we have,
• 29:10
  Speaker 6: generation after generation, things have changed.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: As far as the way we dress.
• 29:14
  Speaker 7: Where our hair can be.
• 29:16
  Speaker 6: So, like you mentioned, type of job that you're going for.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: So all that makes a difference.
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: It makes a difference in how you presenting yourself. And
• 29:25
  Speaker 6: so we're gonna talk about how about this is the
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: corporate world. Going into the corporate world.
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: Yes, and I like that you pointed out how dad
• 29:30
  Speaker 5: said the type of job you're going for.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: For sure.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: If you're going to be a street gang counselor. If
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: you're going for a corporate job.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Well, you know the slang might help in that then,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: don't it? Correct.
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: My point is that your point would be This is
• 29:45
  Speaker 5: who I am and I'm going to identify with the
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: people that we're working with because of how I present.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: And I think that's a success to my television show.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: I adjust my personality to everybody that comes before me.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: I meet them right where they are. Whether it's a
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: street kid, I can kick the game of the streets
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: with them. Whether it's a college professor, I can debate
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: the fine lines of the English language. If it's a mother,
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: single mother, been there. If it's a family man with children,
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: been there. I can speak all those languages. And I
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: think it's because of all the experiences I've had. So
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: it's an advantage to be able to switch.
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: So you're like a flip-flopper. That's right.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: A code changer.
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: Let's name it. Code switching. There's a big debate. This
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: has been a big debate. I've seen it time and
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: time again about whether it is wrong to code switch,
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: whether that's flip-flopping, whether that's not being authentic to you.
• 30:40
  Speaker 6: I agree with the judge here that you have to
• 30:43
  Speaker 6: talk to people in the way they talk to you,
• 30:46
  Speaker 6: if that's what you.
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: Want to do.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: You can stay who you are 100% all the time,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: but if you feel that... But that's still who you are.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: That's what I feel like, too. When you're cold switching,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: you're saying.
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: Yes, I feel like we are multi-positive people.
• 30:56
  Speaker 7: We all can.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: Like you said, you can debate the finest of them
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: at any kind of school, or you can talk to
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: the guy on the street.
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: That's not cold switching. That's just... Multiple parts of who
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: you are.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: Multi-dimensional.
• 31:08
  Speaker 5: And I love the way Dad pointed out the positive
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: of it allows you to connect with people that maybe
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: would not connect with you otherwise if you didn't have
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: that skill, I view as a talent, to be able
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: to code switch effectively.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: You can't influence anybody unless you can relate to them.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: You can't influence them. So, yeah, sometimes I dress street.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: Like hip-hop, sometimes I dress professional. Today I'm trying to
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: impress it. few of my rich friends are conservative. I've
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: got this conservative I'm gonna get today with a blazer on.
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: So we would say code switching is not trading authenticity
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: in this room. Mom?
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: No, it's not. I don't think it would be, no.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: I'm all for code switching. I mean, I grew up,
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: you know, different communities, different, you know, Detroit family, friends,
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: suburban life.
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: Fridge poor.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Fridge poor, all those things. And I think that, I
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: hate to say it's like survival, but it's just how,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: but it's a part of surviving. It's like you, it's not,
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: some people say, is it survival or surrender? And I
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: don't think it's surrendering. It's more like I'm going to
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: allow myself to be a person who can go into
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: any room.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: I say advantage.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: And it's connection.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: I think it's connection.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: When I do it, it's not forced.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: I've lived in so many different environments and I have
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: these versions of myself. It would be wrong for me
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: to say I don't. I have my suburban version I
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: grew up. I grew up in inner city schools. I
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: went to a white undergrad. I have white friends, black friends,
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: inner city friends, non-inner city friends. I got my LGBTQ community.
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: And even within that, you got the flamboyant LGBTQ friends.
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: You got the more conservative ones. And I can move
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: within all of those groups comfortably. which I view as
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: a talent.
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: I also think, I know people are, sometimes they're like, oh,
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: when you go in an interview or a job to
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: just accept you, who you are, you should be able
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: to be your authentic self.
• 33:02
  Speaker 7: I also feel like that's coming from a place of privilege.
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: People usually come from places, people who are already in
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: their careers. Because that's not, I feel like for a
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: young person just starting out, there are some sacrifices you
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: may have to make. You might love your braids, but
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: you may think like, oh, if I'm going into this
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: banquet or like, I'm trying to be an investment banker,
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: they may not like my braids, so I may have
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: to cut them off.
• 33:23
  Speaker 7: You can grow your hair back out after you get
• 33:25
  Speaker 7: the job, maybe, you know, but it's a privilege. It's
• 33:28
  Speaker 7: just like, oh, just keep your braids. They shouldn't discriminate
• 33:30
  Speaker 7: against you.
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: They should not because the hairstyle is a hairstyle, but
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: we all know that that happens to people in our community,
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: and so I just think that To get where you
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: want to go, sometimes you may have to make some sacrifices.
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: The good thing is they pass laws about discriminating.
• 33:42
  Speaker 7: Against particularly black people.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: That's once you're in the workplace, too.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: That's once you're in the workplace.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: Because if you.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: Don't get that job interview, you won't know why you
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: did it.
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: Right, exactly.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: And I think it's a disadvantage to let it destroy
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: you inside that you might not fit into that environment
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: and there may be some demands on you to fit
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: in instead of you trying to meet those demands and
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: outplay them, outangle them, you say, oh, I'm not gonna
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: play their game. You hear that all the time. I'm
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: not gonna play their game. Well, you're not gonna be
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: in the game.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: You gotta play a little bit.
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: You won't be in the game. And I think that's
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: the point of the mom says she's trying to prepare
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: for the real world. Because yes, we do all aspire
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: to a world in which these things didn't have to
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: be the case, but it is the case. So, You
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: either stay in the game or you play yourself and
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: stay at home.
• 34:34
  Speaker 7: Yeah, or you get in the game and improve from
• 34:36
  Speaker 7: the inside.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: Maybe you interview someone with braids and you don't discriminate
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: against them or you don't think anything less of them.
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: Or you create your own ecosystem once you become successful
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: enough and you change the game in your own way.
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: You've changed the game in a lot of ways. People
• 34:48
  Speaker 5: are grateful to you for that.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: That was great, you all. You know, y'all are full
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: of some wisdom.
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: Right. It's from they mama. Exactly.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: Y'all hanging around me. Y'all been hanging around me.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: She's been hanging around me. She get it from me.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: And so now we're going to do a rapid fire one.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: And these are ones that, you know, I've done some research,
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: just some interesting topics. So now we have other questions,
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: but we're going to do this in a rapid fire form.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: And so let's do this. and I'll cut in your part.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: I'm too old to do anything rapid with the mind,
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: but I'll give it my best shot.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: This first one is actually from you and I having
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: a conversation. I was going to say, you're going to
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: do great. Watch. I'm really excited to see... would you
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: all have to say about these?
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: That's right, baby.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: You know that.
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: See, I can attest to that, baby.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: My partner wants us to... Ah!
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: Ah! Ah! Ah!
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Ah!
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: Ah!
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: Ah!
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Got me a little hot over here.
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: Can we change the name of this game?
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Ain't no wrapping it, baby.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: Can we change the name of the game?
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: It's so embarrassing.
• 36:10
  Speaker 7: Why is it gross? It is gross, though.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: It is gross, though.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: When I was a kid, if my mama was talking
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: like this, I would be so grossed out.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: I think that I would be grossed out if I
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: didn't grow up hearing it all happen. And so, you know,
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: we grew up hearing it all happen. And so we
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: just know it happens, which is a good thing.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: I didn't know until recent years that y'all used to
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: hear her.
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: Oh, you used to hear you. Me? I used to
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: be so embarrassed when my friends were over there. Are
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: you kidding me?
• 36:44
  Speaker 7: I had to turn the TV up.
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: Are you kidding me? Why didn't y'all ever say anything
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: all these years?
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: Why didn't y'all at least put Mama Chino shit on
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: the phone?
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: It's embarrassing. I'm blocking out of my mind just like
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: I'm doing right now.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: In a 10,000 square foot house, y'all was hearing all this?
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: The vents, I guess. I don't know.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: I would have died if I'd heard that from my mama.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: Well, Kamara's bedroom was right above y'all's too. My bedroom
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: was right above. I used to turn the TV up like, ah.
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: What is that?
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 37:15
  Speaker 5: Rapid fire family court.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: My partner wants us to share a location 24-7.
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: I think it's controlling.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: My partner says if I have nothing to hide, I
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: shouldn't care. Who's right?
• 37:33
  Speaker 7: Controlling.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: That's controlling.
• 37:34
  Speaker 6: And I think people should share their location if they
• 37:37
  Speaker 6: want to share their location. You know, because I don't
• 37:39
  Speaker 6: have a problem sharing mine.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: But please don't question me about silly.
• 37:43
  Speaker 6: Things about why were you at the corner or so
• 37:46
  Speaker 6: and so and so.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: So right. Don't question me. And don't force it.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, don't force it. Don't force it. Yeah, why did
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: you stop there? Well, I couldn't have been doing nothing.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: I only took 10, it only stopped there for 10 minutes. Yeah,
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: you can do a lot in 10 minutes.
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: In the park, in the parking lot. If that's your relationship,
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: you got a lot more issues.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: There's a lot more issues going on. I'll tell you
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: my thing has always been, I have this fierce streak
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: of independence, meaning not listening to anyone. and obeying anyone
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: because I felt I never obeyed my mother. This is
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: crazy as it sounds. I feel so independent. I'm like,
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: I ain't listening to you.
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: I ain't listening to you.
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: And maybe that's why I got in trouble as my
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: adult years later on. Because I ain't listen to my mama.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: Why couldn't you turn that thought around and say, I'm
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: going to honor her now by being obedient?
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: By listening to people.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: I ain't going to be that. I'm going to treat.
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: Somebody better than I treat my own mama.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: By hand, by hand. Who shares their location with their
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: partner in here? Y'all don't share locations?
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: Wow. That's so interesting.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: I share with my kids.
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: I would think y'all definitely shared it with the family
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: and everything.
• 38:57
  Speaker 7: I have Nora's location.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: I have about 15 friends that I share my location with. Okay.
• 39:02
  Speaker 6: I never thought about it with friends, you know, because
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: I don't even know how to turn on a location thing.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: I think you did it for me. I did it
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: for you, yeah. And so I don't mind sharing with
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: somebody because I want somebody to know where I am
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: at all times.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: I don't think I want you all to know because
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: you take advantage of that.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: I see you right there.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: Sometimes when you ask me to come over for something,
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not home. and I'll be on the couch.
• 39:20
  Speaker 5: Right, thank you.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: I like to tell a little lie every now and
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: then about where I'm at.
• 39:26
  Speaker 7: See, that'll be your.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Problem on the way home. I'm going to be home
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: in the next 15 minutes.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: You wait.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: Hey, man, stop in. Let's have a drink real quick.
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: All right, I'm on my way home, man. I told
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: my wife, man, just stop in. We're going to kick
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: it around for a minute.
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: Boom.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: That's definitely it.
• 39:46
  Speaker 6: See, and I just found out last month, how do
• 39:48
  Speaker 6: I look at the location that somebody is at?
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: And I found out where you're at.
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: Uh-huh. Because he's sharing location.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, but I just said, oh.
• 39:55
  Speaker 6: Remember I called you and said, why are you in so-and-so?
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: I just feel myself as being driving, feeling followed. I'm like,
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: light up that satellite or whatever.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, you're being followed, but it ain't by me. It
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: ain't by me.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Next one. I remind you all again, this is.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: Rapid fire right now.
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: Oh, rapid fire.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: I stop going to some family gatherings because they're bad
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: for my mental health. My family says I'm using therapy
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: language to avoid accountability. Am I protecting my peace or
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: avoiding difficult conversations?
• 40:31
  Speaker 6: I think you should protect your peace, but find time
• 40:34
  Speaker 6: to interact with those family members.
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: I think you're protecting your peace, which is fine. But
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: you also may be avoiding difficult conversations. So if your
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: family thinks you are avoiding those difficult conversations, then maybe
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: have one-on-ones and not do it at a family gathering.
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I would need more details because some people take
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: protecting their peace too far. I know, the millennials, that's
• 40:55
  Speaker 5: what I said.
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: And I think you got to test the temperature, quite frankly.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: If you see that.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Everyone is happy and you're not feeling so happy... then
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: get on out the way. Nobody wants to look at
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: your sad face. And you're looking all twisted. And we're
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: having fun. So I think you got to test the temperature.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: See, what I liked about it is that it said
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: some family gatherings. It doesn't mean all of them. And
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: to be honest, there are probably some that some people
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: shouldn't be at because some other people will be there
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: or if it's a gathering that's known for drinking and
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: certain things. But I do agree that you should be
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: able to face those difficult things. But you also should
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: have your peace.
• 41:45
  Speaker 7: Everybody want their peace now.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Life ain't peaceful all the time.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: They be like, fine, I'll come. Make sure you call
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: the police too.
• 41:51
  Speaker 6: And that's where some people are using that phrase of
• 41:54
  Speaker 6: protecting their peace.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: Here's a good one. And this is the last one
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: for this one. My sister borrowed $ 5, 000 from me for
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: an emergency. She hasn't paid me back. but she just
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: posted photos from a luxury vacation.
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: That's right.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: I want to call her out on the family group chat.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Would I be wrong? Nope.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: No.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: I think you should call her out on wherever she posted.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: How can you be on.
• 42:18
  Speaker 6: A family trip when you owe me $ 5, 000? That is
• 42:23
  Speaker 6: so funny.
• 42:24
  Speaker 5: That's a good idea. Post it or put it, tell
• 42:26
  Speaker 5: it right there. Right.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: She's the queen.
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: Of giving people money and feeling bad for people.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, Jade.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: Did she get mad at her?
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: Yes. It just happened recently. She said somebody called her
• 42:36
  Speaker 5: ass for money. I said, don't give that person no money.
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: That person be all over the internet, stunting and grunting.
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: You know, they're fine. She gave the person the money.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: And didn't see it, didn't see it, dime of it.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Of course she ain't getting that money back.
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: But literally next week, they up in their own luxury
• 42:50
  Speaker 5: clothes and stunting. And I said, Jay, this the person
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: that asked you for that little bit amount of money.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: What do we say?
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: And they only in that flexible.
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: You say, I'm a little more cheaper. I'm on a high.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: I'm going in this way. We always say, when you
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: give somebody money, a family member, in your heart, you
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: need to know that you are giving them that money.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: You're not getting it back.
• 43:08
  Speaker 5: You are giving them that money. I do.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: Because you owe me, you owe me, and you owe.
• 43:14
  Speaker 5: Me.
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: This is what I do. I give them half. I say, no,
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: you don't have to pay me back. You don't have
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: to borrow no money. Here, I'm going to just give
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: you this.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: I never say you don't have to pay me back
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: because I want to see if you're going.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: To do it.
• 43:26
  Speaker 6: I give you what I can if I can't give
• 43:28
  Speaker 6: you what you want. But I never say you don't
• 43:31
  Speaker 6: have to pay me back. But people have tried to
• 43:33
  Speaker 6: pay me back and I say you keep it.
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: Oh, that's nice.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: That's smart. People floss like Bobby was saying and then
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: they come to you and borrow. So her policy is
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: They'll find a way. They found a way to go
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: on that trip.
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: Well, that trip was two years ago. But that is
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: a good balance because I give it to them.
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: Yes, people spend money on what they want to spend
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: money on. And then, you know, they come to you.
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: And it's only a certain amount. It's so many times
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: that you can ask.
• 44:04
  Speaker 7: I mean, it's just like.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: And I would take this a little further. It's about
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: more so, oh, we go on someplace. oh, I need
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: to pay for this person to go.
• 44:12
  Speaker 5: And I go, oh, yeah, no. That person going where
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: they want to go. They know, oh, no.
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: I ain't paying for nobody else's.
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: I know that's not true.
• 44:21
  Speaker 6: I'm going to turn my head the other way.
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: Only if I offer, not if they ask.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: He's generous.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: But you offer saying, oh, I know they want to.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: They just can't.
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: That's why they didn't ask. So we got to do
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: it for this person, that person, and this person because
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: they want to. they just too ashamed to ask.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: I also think he just wants them there.
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: Which is fair. That's fair too.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: So, you know, call it out in the family chat.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: That's okay?
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Or like mom said, whatever venue they was stunting in.
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: That's what I'd say. Exactly.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Not in the family chat. Why you got to bring
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: grandma into this? I'm just really thinking about something because
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: he's looking at me.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: And saying, So-and-so don't lie.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: And they went to so-and-so-and-so.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: Shoot, they too got money.
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: Stop the face. Stop the face. Stop the face.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: That's where I got that from.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: Today we talked about boundaries.
• 45:19
  Speaker 6: And I truly believe that there should be boundaries between
• 45:22
  Speaker 6: the parents and their adult children. We're going to wrap
• 45:25
  Speaker 6: it up with we all feel that boundaries are important, right?
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: And I respect you all for that. Respecting our boundaries.
• 45:30
  Speaker 6: Okay, and I respect you all for respecting our boundaries
• 45:34
  Speaker 6: and not telling our business.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: We're going to turn it over to the judge now.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: With the Mathis verdict. Today's Mathis verdict. You know, our
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: conversation was around boundaries that parents and children have between
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: each other. And most of those boundaries really emanate from
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: the mind or the heart. And otherwise, the legal that
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: I've heard in this today's show was grandparents' rights. And
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: that is a legal theory that has been tested for
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: many years until the Supreme Court ruled some decades ago
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: that grandparents have no legal rights to see their grandchildren.
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: So the best answer to that, treat your children right
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: so that you can get to see those grandchildren. Or otherwise,
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: reason with them, if nothing else. Don't have to buy
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: love with the way you act or with the things
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: you do. Just reason with your children so that they'll
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: understand that it is the best for everybody involved that
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: they be in the lives of their grandchildren. That's my verdict.