Latest / What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie? / #255: The OctoGames (2022) - Tubi or Not to Be

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#255: The OctoGames (2022) - Tubi or Not to Be · What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie?

0:06
Hello, what's your least favorite scary movie?
0:10
Like how fat. Welcome to watch The Least Earth
0:13
Scary Movie, The podcast where we talk about the goods, about
0:15
the ugly and the absurd, and all of our favorite.
0:18
And least favorite? Scary movies.
0:19
Because we believe every horror movie, right?
0:21
Flee has its fan base. Even if we don't always.
0:24
My name is Travis. My name is Jessie and welcome
0:26
back to another edition of our monthly bonus series, Live,
0:31
uncut and mostly undrawn. You know it, you love it.
0:35
It is to be or not to be. Or we go to free streaming
0:39
services and find some lesser known movies that might not get
0:42
as much love as some of the big box office releases.
0:44
So this month we're talking about the Octo game.
0:49
Yes, we are. Maybe as much as we can.
0:53
Yeah, we're going to give it our all at least, you know, we'll
0:57
we'll give it the old college try.
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Oh yeah. All right, I don't have any
1:01
announcements because this is a bonus episode, so we're just
1:03
going to jump right into it. OK, sounds good.
1:06
Let's. OK, yeah, let's do this.
1:08
OK, so the Octagames released October 7th, 2022.
1:12
Currently, you can watch it on To be written by Aaron Meertesz,
1:16
Brad Bellamygian and Galen Christie.
1:19
Directed by Aaron Meertesz. Don't have a music person, don't
1:23
have a makeup person. And I'm not just tagging special
1:26
effects makeup. No makeup, nothing.
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Nothing. Nothing.
1:29
Nothing for anything. Any position, there's gonna be
1:31
nothing. Maybe not even a director.
1:33
They may have just been filling in the blanks with that one.
1:37
Starring Lucy Hartzell is Carrie, Cecil Wayne Adcock as
1:43
Squish, Love Patel is AJ, Henry Haggard is Walt, Allison Shrum
1:47
is Maxine, Alice Raver is Ruth, Claire Palmer is Jess, Patrick
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Sharn as the Eliminator, Fallon Girko as Luna, and Brad Bell
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Brad Bellamygian as Jack's Pro. Is that the director?
2:04
No, one of the writers. That's one of the writers, OK.
2:08
And now it's time for our favorite game.
2:09
Budget or budget? I think it's hilarious that that
2:15
question even is asked with this movie, because you take a single
2:20
look at this movie and you know it's the bug.
2:22
Teddiest of all bug Teds. Probably $0.00 if I were two
2:26
guests. Any figure?
2:27
I would guess $500 in a case of Red Bull.
2:34
Yeah, Red Bull seems pretty much on par for the the cast and crew
2:38
on this right here. Or maybe like for what they're
2:41
doing is like prime? Prime Oh God, no, please don't.
2:44
Don't do that. Yeah.
2:46
So I don't have any kind of money features for this movie at
2:49
all, but what I do have is an IODB score.
2:52
OK. 3.3. OK, how many people rated it?
2:58
How many people have actually seen this movie?
3:00
Hold on, let me pull it up. There were a surprising amount
3:03
of reviews for me to look through.
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I wonder if people ever saw this and got confused like Tubby has
3:08
the show on here now let's watch it.
3:11
So there were most of the reviews did make like a nod.
3:17
Nope, we got cat outside going crazy.
3:20
Most of them did make a nod to the fact that this was clearly
3:23
as good games parody and or RIP off, but there were a couple
3:28
that were like wow this is a really unique promise. 1093
3:35
ratings. Oh, Oh my God.
3:38
Over 1000. Yeah.
3:40
God, How? How?
3:44
People saw it on TV and they're like, let's.
3:46
Check it out OK. I did pull 3 movies from 2022
3:52
and the overarching theme is a character that relies on or is
3:58
very consumed with in some way shape or form social media.
4:04
OK, it's like YouTube streaming twitch, TikTok or some non
4:09
copyrighted version so. There are 4 movies that have
4:13
this theme in 2022. At least.
4:16
Wow, OK. So the first one dead stream.
4:20
Oh yeah, yeah. Oh man, that movie is so fucking
4:22
good. We need to talk about it at some
4:24
point. Yeah, I love that movie so much.
4:26
That released October 6th 2022 so a day before active games and
4:31
I have a budget but it did end up making $1,000,000 worldwide
4:35
which is pretty good because it went straight to streaming on
4:37
shutter. Yeah, it yeah, it had a
4:41
surprising little success story there.
4:42
I'm I'm really happy for the team that did that.
4:45
It has a 6.4 out of 10 on IMDb. Super solid.
4:48
Yeah, I like that a lot. Second one.
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Bodies, bodies, bodies. Oh yeah definitely.
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Yep, got some TikTok dancing going on.
4:55
Yep. That released October 12th,
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2022. I don't have a budget for that,
5:01
but it does have a worldwide gross of 13.9 million.
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And you can hear us talk about this in a little bit more detail
5:06
on our full episode coverage of Bodies.
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Bodies. Yeah, it has an IMDb score
5:11
currently of 6.2 out of 10. Wow, that's pretty good.
5:14
I didn't expect it to be that high.
5:15
It's a good movie. Yeah, but it's also divisive
5:19
from what I've seen online. OK.
5:21
Yeah, and 3rd and final movie, one that I definitely wanna be
5:24
covering at some point. Fall.
5:28
Oh, oh, the one where they climb the tower?
5:31
Yeah, we watched that for the first time last year.
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Yeah, she's got the the YouTube Yeah channel where she does
5:37
climbing. She's basically an influencer.
5:39
Yep. Yeah.
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That released also on August 12th, 2022 a budget of
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$3,000,000 in a worldwide gross of 17,000,000.
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IMDb score of 6.4 out of 10. OK, wow, so you did it.
5:51
Got three whole movies there with that theme.
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You seem to doubt my powers. I don't doubt it.
5:58
I'm just surprised that there were that many movies with the.
6:01
I mean, I guess that's telling of the times.
6:03
Yeah, I guess, yeah. I mean, that's a pretty common
6:06
thing that is going on out there in the world.
6:09
Absolutely. I you and I have had this
6:11
personal argument off air about whether like influence or horror
6:14
should be a sub genre and then well not that if that should be
6:18
a sub genre but rather what the parameters would be for it as a
6:21
sub genre. Yeah, I mean, I guess you have
6:24
to have enough of them there to kind of have a group to point
6:29
out like a group of movies. You can't start a whole sub
6:31
genre with like 2 movies. Yeah, you got to have like.
6:34
Well, we have at least 4. Exactly, that's what I'm saying
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you have to have more than that and it's become a thing here
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lately. So I I'm in the in favor of it
6:43
being a sub genre at this point all.
6:45
Right. OK, so you got any tacklings?
6:48
Just one. OK.
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Eight games, eight players, 1 winner.
6:56
That's not even true. There were more than eight
6:57
players in the first game. Yeah.
7:00
It was going to win their nation round.
7:01
It was like 16 at the beginning. This movie makes my head hurt
7:06
from all all things about it. Well, my head doesn't hurt
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because we don't do fun facts on our bonus episodes.
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You would have not found anything.
7:16
You would have found absolutely nothing.
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Probably less than what I found for a vial.
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Truly, we could have maybe contacted these guys and they
7:23
would have been like, yeah, Squid Games, except octopuses.
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Yeah, yeah. OK, so that's it, and I think
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we're ready to talk about good, bad, ugly, and absurd.
7:34
Man, we're just moving through this episode, aren't we?
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No, you gotta tell us why you picked this one.
7:39
I forgot that that's the thing we do because like small group
7:44
single location game type movies are my jam.
7:47
Yeah, I love that. And I thought it would be a fun
7:50
parody of Squid Games. Yeah, OK.
7:56
That was that was my reasoning for it.
7:58
All right, Yeah. It was either gonna be this or
8:00
about the beach that eats people.
8:01
So. Yeah, well, I OK, so I guess
8:06
we'll trans transition the good, bad, ugly and absurd.
8:09
Yes, OK, good. I got nothing.
8:26
I got absolutely nothing good to say about this is the first for
8:29
me. There's like usually I can find
8:31
a good. It's usually me struggling to
8:32
find bads, but I've got I don't have a single good thing to say
8:35
about this movie. I have some good things.
8:37
OK, go ahead. I think the the actor that was
8:41
the Jax Pro character, I think he did a good job of doing the
8:44
whole YouTube persona. Like every time he was like, hey
8:47
guys. Oh my God, very youtubing.
8:49
So I thought that was good. That drove me crazy.
8:52
It drove you crazy because he was too good at it.
8:54
Yeah, it was accurate. It was accurate and he did it
8:56
every single time he committed to it.
8:59
I thought like the bits with him and his girlfriend had some
9:02
funny moments, probably most of the humor in the movie.
9:05
Yeah. Especially like that part where
9:07
they were like both ready to not be influencers anymore and she's
9:09
like, God, I'm going to get fat. That's probably the best part of
9:12
the entire movie, yeah. And I think that the idea of
9:17
parodying Squid Games and like, especially because the whole
9:20
thing with Squid Games is that it's like life or death
9:22
Children's Games, I thought the idea of parodying that had a lot
9:29
of potential. Yeah, that's the thing about
9:33
this movie. I thought it was going to be, it
9:36
was either going to be a parody or it was going to like take the
9:40
idea of it and go wacky with it in its own unique way.
9:44
But I never really got an impression that it was at any
9:48
point making fun of Squid Games. No parroting of any kind.
9:52
It just straight up took the story.
9:55
And it's like, we can tell that story too.
9:59
And they tried to do that. They tried to tell that story
10:02
with their no budget movie here. I'm sorry, I don't know why
10:07
you're discrediting my $500 in case of Red Bull theory. $500 in
10:12
the case of Red Bull was all they had to go.
10:14
And we can do Squid Games. That's really all it was.
10:18
Neutrograin bar and a Mountain Dew.
10:20
Come a Neutrograin bar and a Mountain Dew.
10:23
There's one good thing I will say about this movie.
10:25
I thought there was one moment of a good tension, and that was
10:30
during the hide and seek scene. Yeah, I thought the hide and
10:34
seek game was really, really well done.
10:37
I liked that scene a lot actually, because they're in
10:39
this like, very elaborate looking house and you're like,
10:41
wow, this is going to be fun. Lots of places to hide.
10:45
Except it's a trick because they've got all of these
10:47
furniture and what seemed like all these nooks and crannies,
10:49
but it's actually really impossible to hide in.
10:52
Yeah, I mean, so I thought that was kind of a fun way to do
10:54
that. Yeah, yeah, like it looks like
10:57
you got plenty of places, but yeah, you're pretty much going
10:59
to be sticking out like a sore thumb the entire time.
11:03
OK, so let's move over to Beth. OK.
11:05
So, yeah, I mean, the movie doesn't it doesn't have fun with
11:10
it. Yeah, there's nothing fun about
11:12
it. Like they they they took this
11:14
way too seriously. They played it too straight.
11:17
If you're going to do this, don't don't try and redo an
11:22
already and you know it's going to be superior.
11:25
Like if you're going to try and take on Squid Games like this
11:27
massive hit of a show, like I'm going to tell that same story
11:31
and I'm going to do my version of it.
11:32
But your version of it is really not that different.
11:36
Like the thing about this movie, it lacks any setup whatsoever.
11:41
We get a 32nd opening of Jax Pros character just telling why
11:49
he wants to give, like why he wants to do the game, and then
11:52
we cut immediately to the people selected there.
11:55
So we have no reason to. We don't know who these people
11:57
are. We have no reason to care about
11:59
them whatsoever. So right off the bat, I don't
12:03
give a shit about any of these people, what they're going
12:05
through. I don't even really know what
12:06
any of them are going through. They're all also doing all this
12:08
stuff for like vanity reasons, which you can still make a very
12:14
compelling story with interesting characters if you're
12:16
going to go that route, but you have to make them complex.
12:18
And they didn't do that with anybody here.
12:20
They made them caricatures in one note.
12:22
It was confusing because like these people wanted his accounts
12:26
that way they could get bigger, but his whole point in choosing
12:28
them was because of their social media followings.
12:30
But like Carrie just plays in dive bars.
12:34
Yeah. So it is a little bit confusing.
12:37
Yeah, I mean, I didn't know if they had like potential is the
12:41
thing. Maybe.
12:42
So like he like knows like, OK, that's one account that has like
12:44
50,000 followers or something. And there's like, well, you'll
12:47
get my billion followers now or a million.
12:50
I can't remember how many he had.
12:51
But yeah, I mean, like, either way, like just I didn't have a
12:56
reason to care about anything going on here.
12:58
And like the henchman, I mean, yeah, like I came in expecting
13:06
it to be RIP offs of the Squid Game, people with like the pink
13:11
hoodies and, you know, all that stuff.
13:13
But holy shit, they just like, give these people like Walmart
13:16
bought pink hoodies and then like paintball masks and shit
13:20
like that. It looks so fucking bad.
13:23
So, so bad. Props to whoever on and the set
13:27
though. Is like yo I'm actually a furry
13:30
though does somebody want to use my fur suit?
13:32
And. Yeah, I I acknowledge this fox
13:36
guy as a furry for the first little bit, because that's just
13:38
kind of what I seem. That's a furry outfit.
13:41
Nothing wrong with that. I'm.
13:42
Not, I'm not, and I do not mean that in a judgmental way at all,
13:45
but it's absolutely that's. If that's your thing, that's
13:47
your thing. Everybody's got their thing.
13:49
But the weird thing is it's just a shitty suit.
13:52
Somebody just what is this guy? What's the point of that being a
13:56
fox? Make it be something like that's
13:59
Jack's pros logo is a fox thing or something.
14:04
Make it play into his brand. Make it have some relevance.
14:06
I was so confusing. I'm so confused about this
14:10
entire movie. Yeah, I think that's one of my
14:13
biggest things with this is that this movie has a lot of ideas
14:15
and it really kind of lacks the follow through.
14:17
Like we've got Luna wanting to kill Jack's pro, but we never
14:21
get a reason why. Like we never get that.
14:24
Yeah, because she just dies. We have the whole thing at the
14:28
end of like, it's very important what you do next with this
14:30
police investigation, but why? The movie ends so abruptly.
14:34
Yeah, we don't have any stakes with that.
14:36
And I think the thing for me the most is that we we have all of
14:42
these characters that have these, like they have these
14:48
built in stories for them, right?
14:50
And I think it would be really fun to use what their online
14:54
niche is in their characterization.
14:56
Like think about new year, new year, because we've got what's
14:59
her face, the very, very vegetable girl.
15:02
Yeah, she she is like, yes. And she is kind of like a
15:07
motivational speaker, Wellness guru person online, right?
15:10
We could have had squish as this motivational speaker is supposed
15:13
to be his thing. Like have him use like some
15:16
bogus like mantra type thing for why he's like playing this game.
15:21
Like, you know, like when they're going around and they're
15:23
killing a new year, new year and she's like, this is my life.
15:27
I will not accept less than what I deserve, right.
15:29
We need him doing something like that.
15:31
We need seem being funny. She's a fucking comedian.
15:34
Let's have Carrie talk about like have some like soapy,
15:37
overdramatic. Like one time I was in a dive
15:41
bar playing and there was a bar fight.
15:44
It broke out. I had to break a bottle.
15:46
So I know how to fend for like, you know, like we need stuff
15:49
like that. Or like AJ, 'cause he's a Twitch
15:51
streamer. Like have him like come up with
15:53
these like tactical maneuvers during games.
15:56
Like I think they could have had a lot more fun with this than
15:59
what they did. And then when you do that, and
16:02
then you also highlight the silliness of how these are like
16:06
kid games, but they didn't up the stakes the way that they
16:09
were in Squid Games. You know, like in Squid Games,
16:11
you've got tug of war, but the losing team gets pulled into an
16:15
abyss, right? But in this game, you just have
16:18
hopscotch with lights on the ground.
16:20
And that could be so fucking funny.
16:22
You just have to play it the right way.
16:24
And so I think this movie is just a lot of loose threads that
16:27
they didn't end up tying. They didn't braid them together.
16:30
They didn't do anything as fun with them as they could have.
16:33
This could have been a macrame of absurdity.
16:36
Yeah, that's the thing that kills me.
16:39
Like it had potential to be like a fun thing.
16:42
It could have been its own thing.
16:43
It could have been like a fun little thing that it's it takes
16:46
the idea of the Squid Games, but it has its own fun with that and
16:51
or it makes fun of what the Squid Games is and then said
16:54
that chooses to do neither of those and tries it's best to BA
16:58
Squid Games RIP off with no heart, no characters, no
17:03
nothing. There's just like it.
17:07
I just, I'm, I don't know, yeah. Yeah, I I wanted to feel the
17:11
desperation of these people. I wanted to have these high
17:14
stakes and then I wanted it to be contrasted with like low
17:19
stakes games. I was just blown away that this
17:22
movie was an hour and a. Half, yeah.
17:24
And that's the other thing is that the pacing is not good.
17:27
It there were a lot of times and I don't know if it just felt
17:30
longer than it needed to because there's also no music.
17:33
Yeah. And it's just there were this is
17:38
a movie that could be done really well.
17:40
It could be and it's. Just lacking.
17:42
Yeah, yeah, the the pieces are there, but none of it came in
17:47
fruition at all. All.
17:50
Right. What is your ugly?
17:53
I guess kind of the same ugly as Squid Games taking advantage of
17:57
people that are in vulnerable positions.
18:00
But then again, these people aren't really in vulnerable
18:02
positions. They're just people.
18:04
They're creatives wanting to do stuff and have an audience to
18:11
consume their stuff. Is that you could show how
18:15
exploitative this is because there are starving out artists
18:19
out there, but they didn't give us that with us.
18:21
They didn't show us they. Could have done that, yeah.
18:23
And Squid Games, it's people that are in financial trouble.
18:26
Yeah. And and that's right here.
18:27
I mean, they're not in financial trouble.
18:29
They just want more followers. And yeah, there it's possible to
18:33
make that compelling reason for you to be there.
18:37
But we have to get to know the characters in order for us to
18:39
really understand why it's an important deal for them in the
18:42
first place, which we don't get to know.
18:43
Anybody here. Yeah, OK.
18:46
What's your ugly? My ugly, I suppose, is going to
18:50
be. Got no uglies.
19:05
The problem is that I feel like this movie is not making enough
19:07
of a statement to pull an ugly bit from.
19:10
It it didn't have anything to say.
19:12
Yeah, All I was trying to say is, hey, you guys remember Squid
19:14
Games? That's all I had to say.
19:17
It feels, I really hate to say this because I know there are
19:20
people that worked on this and I'm not trying to be like a
19:22
hateful for funny kind of person right now right, But this feels
19:26
AI generated. Kind of, yeah.
19:28
It's got that same like lack of heart to it, but I don't think
19:32
it's fully like that because I feel like the Jax Pro character
19:34
is decently flashed fleshed out for the amount of screen time he
19:37
gets. Yeah, I would say if you have
19:40
anything else that's ugly, it would be him.
19:42
And he, he is very much the archetype of with the the
19:47
streamer that you hate to see out there.
19:50
He's like the Logan Pauls. Yeah.
19:52
And all those types of people out there.
19:54
He and. I guess we do have like the the
19:57
parasocial like bit there with the the eliminator who is like
20:03
obsessed with him, the fox, the yeah, yeah, and has the matching
20:08
neck rose tattoo. So weird, so obsessed.
20:12
Yeah, that is weird. Yeah.
20:15
And that's, I mean, that's a real thing that is going on
20:17
right now in life, too. Well, people, yeah, developing
20:21
parasocial relationships, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there, there
20:27
are things there. What is your absurd?
20:30
Oh boy, let me see. Well, let's see.
20:36
One of my favorite bits of dialogue here.
20:39
This is this is a couple of good Nuggets of dialogue, but I like
20:42
that one guy, he said. I was in Med school before I was
20:46
a gamer. Honestly that's the most gamer
20:51
fucking sentence I've ever heard in my entire life.
20:54
AJ made it as far in the movie as he did at first.
20:56
I was like, oh, he's cannon fodder.
20:59
But that's such bad dialogue. I was in Med school before I was
21:04
a gamer. So you didn't play video games
21:05
at all until then? Or like, just say I was a live
21:08
streamer before I did streaming, before I became a professional
21:11
streamer, before I was a gamer. All right, gamers, it's just
21:16
like. Yeah.
21:16
When in your Med school curriculum did you have time to
21:20
develop gaming to a point that you became a successful?
21:23
Streamer, That's why he dropped out, because he got all consumed
21:27
with being a gamer. I mean, when you're a gamer,
21:30
there's nothing else that matters.
21:32
You even talked about practice. Talk about the games.
21:36
I'm talking about gamers, not practice.
21:38
Talking about streaming, you're talking about streaming.
21:40
Talking about. Streaming Talking.
21:42
About Med school, I mean, we're talking about Med.
21:45
School. Wait, are you talking about
21:46
doctors? Man man, man, the fox.
21:53
The fox is absurd. I just like the whole time I was
21:57
like whose first seminar is this?
21:59
The fucking guy that's playing all sides.
22:01
I just thought of him as Mac the entire time.
22:03
He's like, I'm playing both sides and.
22:05
See, he could have been fun as like a Mark Cuban type, like
22:08
have him be like Shark Tank, you know what I mean?
22:11
Yeah, they kind of did that with him, but they could have leaned
22:14
in so much more. The God awful.
22:18
I'm gonna take the best deal. Boom.
22:20
There you go, Walt. Like.
22:21
Yes, they could have had fun with him.
22:23
This movie could have been a series of punch ups and easily
22:26
jumped up a couple points in the.
22:27
Ratings. You mentioned that you had a lot
22:29
of punch ups to offer, so I'm excited to hear that.
22:33
Another thing, that's what I would just leave at this.
22:35
The fucking gunshots. Oh my God, the fucking gunshots.
22:41
The this budget, the $500 in case of Red Bull, did not cover
22:45
squibs. They they took stock footage of
22:50
a gunshot wound and then you never see the shots after the
22:53
fact. You see like a little and then
22:55
like there's no blood on their tummy.
22:57
There's no blood anywhere that they got shot.
22:59
And just the way that they all die, like the if it was a game,
23:02
you just get shot. I mean, sometimes you get beaten
23:04
to death by Fox, but it would have been fun if they just did
23:08
it in the creative ways like they do in Squid Games.
23:10
If you're gonna do, that's the thing, that's the problem with
23:12
doing this. If you're gonna take on
23:13
something like that, you're gonna try and play it seriously.
23:15
You're just gonna be constantly compared to the thing that
23:18
you're basing it on. That's so much better.
23:20
Yeah, and if you're going to do parody, it needs to actually be
23:24
parody. Actually make.
23:26
It parody like you need to you need to have a point of view
23:30
with whatever story you're telling.
23:32
And this just doesn't feel it feels like that what he recorded
23:37
at the beginning was actual footage of him having gotten
23:40
high and watched an octopus documentary and was like, Yo, I
23:46
have an idea for a movie. And that's and he, in a fever,
23:50
feverish state, wrote the script.
23:54
I don't even know if they wrote anything.
23:55
I don't know. I don't think so.
23:58
Well, I will say that two of them were credited as the story
24:01
and two of them were credited as the.
24:02
Script. How do you credit somebody with
24:04
the fucking story when it's already the story of Squid
24:06
Games? How do they take credit for
24:07
that? That's the story.
24:12
They didn't do anything different.
24:14
The only thing they changed was followers to money, or from
24:18
money to followers. Yeah.
24:22
Can I share my absurd? Now, Yeah, Yeah, go.
24:24
Cuz I mentioned his tattoos earlier and these are all very
24:27
clearly like you go to Spirit Halloween and you can get the
24:33
tattoo set for whatever your costume is gonna be.
24:35
And they're all like the water temporary ones.
24:40
Jack's pro had like barbed wire around his bicep, but the tattoo
24:44
was clearly for a child cuz it didn't go all the way around his
24:47
bicep. So whenever he lifted up his
24:49
arm, you could see the gap in between the barbed wire.
24:52
I think it's funny that you subscribe to the thought that
24:55
they went to Spirit Halloween, because my thought was they went
24:57
to one of those little machines that you put a quarter in and
25:00
you get all kinds of like little tattoos from that, no.
25:02
No, because I think all of these fake tattoos on him are from the
25:05
same like pack. Like I think he got one of those
25:08
like extra tall packs that comes in like the the shrink wrap and
25:12
you have to like unwrap it and you cut it out carefully to get
25:14
the one you want. Yeah.
25:16
And like you can see it sometimes the one on his face,
25:18
like you could see it where like it would wrinkle and like the
25:20
little film that is over top of it will like wrinkle up some.
25:24
But. Yeah, that, that gap in the
25:26
bicep, that one killed me. Cuz they're like nobody's gonna
25:29
notice. I see notice.
25:33
Gotta watch out for Jesse out there y'all.
25:37
You fucked up, bitch. Yeah, You got any other absurds?
25:43
I will say that I said I wanted this whole movie to be silly.
25:46
And I do think that they got the silliness.
25:50
If they had made everything like that obstacle course scene, or
25:54
they're like, OK, you have to complete the obstacle course in
25:57
under 30 seconds and you'll be allowed to go.
26:00
And then it's just a fucking inflatable.
26:02
And they're like, it's so dramatic the whole time.
26:06
And then we also get, like, Carrie's dramatic speech.
26:08
If every scene, if every game had played out like that, that
26:11
would have been great. And that's kind of the tone I
26:14
wanted. And, like, especially when the
26:16
Eliminator pops up and he's just got, like, a giant wrench like
26:20
Dominic Tretto, like, yeah. So you thought that they were
26:25
trying to like make fun of that thing there?
26:26
I thought that that was think. That that was meant to be silly.
26:29
I don't think that scene was. I think that that was absolutely
26:32
sincere. Like they, they, that's what the
26:35
budget, that's what the Red Bull and $500 got them right there.
26:39
They got that. They didn't spend any budget on
26:42
that. They were.
26:42
One of them had a niece who had a birthday party and the parents
26:46
had set up an inflatable and they're like, when are you
26:48
returning the inflatable? Can we take this in the woods
26:51
behind your house for two hours? This was filmed in Hawkinsville.
26:54
Then anytime we go to Jesse's side of the family for birthday
27:00
related events, it doesn't matter what happens, there's
27:03
always just a big old inflatable.
27:05
It's not like just like my family, like it's everyone in
27:09
the neighborhood has like inflatable set up in their yard.
27:12
It's weird. I did not know that the
27:14
inflatable business was as booming as it apparently is in
27:17
my. Home, Yeah.
27:18
So if you got an inflatable business and you're struggling,
27:20
move to Hopkinsville, KY. You will have business.
27:23
You will. Thrive.
27:26
All right, what are we right in this piece?
27:29
This is going to be my first ever one, first ever one star.
27:34
It has no redeeming qualities. I am so sorry.
27:37
I hate to be that guy because I know making a movie is hardest
27:41
especially when as long as this, but.
27:44
It's only long because I don't think they really edited much.
27:46
Yeah, I just, I can't in good conscious give this anything
27:51
other than A1 like it. I respect the hell out of this
27:55
person for making a movie, you know, do it if you can just go
27:59
ahead and do it. You don't have to upload them
28:01
all up to Toby. Some of them can just be for you
28:04
and your friends. This one I feel like could have
28:07
been. But you know what?
28:08
Sure, put it out there on TV. Clearly over 1000 people have
28:11
watched and felt compelled to rate it on IMDb.
28:15
So you've you've got people out there and potential fans.
28:19
So what do I know? But yeah, I just don't.
28:23
I'm gonna give it a three because I think there are some
28:26
moments that I will give like a little bit of credit to.
28:29
OK. So we've got a starting average
28:32
of two, which might be one of our.
28:33
Lowest every. I think that is our lowest
28:35
every. I don't think we've ever had
28:36
anything that will before. All right.
28:40
Are you ready? Let's do it.
28:42
OK we start off with a dude smoking hookah and he's talking
28:48
about octopi and an idea for games involving 8 people and we
28:54
immediately negate that idea by cutting to game one which is
28:56
Simon Says and there's about 16 people there.
28:59
Yep, and we get introduced to Carrie Miller who is our main
29:04
character in this movie, and then we also get her meeting
29:06
Maxine. Who's a comedian?
29:09
And comedian. Walt, who is an entrepreneur,
29:12
they are all competing to be, well, they know that being a
29:16
part of this game is gonna make them part of a Jax Pro video.
29:19
So that's already exposure there.
29:21
But then they learned that he is planning to retire at the end of
29:24
these eight games and he will give his account all of his
29:27
followers. And their sponsorships.
29:29
And their sponsorships to the winner of these games so.
29:36
They're gonna start, Simon Says. Yeah now, but The thing is, last
29:40
8 standing move on to the next round.
29:42
So yeah, everybody, the other people other than them are gonna
29:46
die. Here, Yeah, we're you're calling
29:47
half the crowd we've got the fox is introduced.
29:51
He's the eliminator slash escort.
29:53
They call him the the Escort at first, so they called.
29:55
Him. I don't.
29:56
I just wrote furry. I said furry to escort them out.
29:59
Question mark Furry Sledgehammer's his face.
30:02
Yeah, we've got we've got somebody who doesn't, who does
30:06
something when Simon didn't say and the Eliminator immediately
30:10
beats him with a sledgehammer. And then somebody panics and
30:12
runs and is shot by like a sniper up in like.
30:17
The second yeah, like up on a Yeah.
30:21
They're like in a warehouse. So it's like a door leading up
30:24
to like an office space. Yeah.
30:27
It's. And then somebody else, like, is
30:29
arguing about what's happening in their shot.
30:32
And then we've got Squish, who is like next to the three that
30:36
we have had named so far. I'm just going to call him
30:38
Squish because it's easier this way.
30:40
He's wearing ugly ass shoes and is perched up against the wall
30:44
cheating. It's the cheater.
30:45
A little cheater, yeah. So everybody loses other than
30:51
eight people. They get killed, shot, all kinds
30:54
of things. So.
30:55
We've got 8 left, Yeah. And then we've got cuz that the
31:00
last one is like, hold your breath.
31:02
So it's until like, basically whoever can the eight who can
31:05
hold their breath the longest, Yeah.
31:07
And then they all have to come to the camera, say their name
31:09
and what they do. So we've got AJ who's a
31:11
streamer, Ruth who is a cook, Steven AKA Squish who's a
31:15
motivational speaker, Jess who is a fitness guru, Miss
31:18
Sunshine, she creates children's content, and Maxine who is a
31:23
comedian, Carrie who's a singer-songwriter and Walter
31:26
who's an entrepreneur. I will say the fitness guru did
31:30
the best. She stood out.
31:32
I told you she did that thing where she did like an
31:35
interesting performance that made her stand.
31:37
She's like an intense fitness guru.
31:39
Yes. I could feel it from her.
31:42
From all of the fitness videos I've watched online, you have to
31:45
develop a very particular type of persona.
31:49
So you're either going to be very intense, you're going to be
31:53
overly calm. That's generally the Yogi's
31:55
right. The yogi's, yes.
31:57
Yeah, or you're going to be like that friendly, kind of affable
32:01
guy and like, here's what we're going to be doing in the gym
32:03
today, guys. And This is why you shouldn't
32:05
judge other people in the gym. Those are the general.
32:10
Imagine them counting reps like the fucking owl from the Tootsie
32:13
Pop commercials. A wahun A to who?
32:16
3 Yeah. Crunch.
32:19
That's when you just go to do. Your crunches, Yeah, Yeah, No, I
32:24
thought she did good, though. I was impressed with her.
32:27
All right, so we go on to Game 2, which is Hopscotch.
32:29
They draw numbers for what order they're gonna go in.
32:32
This is a complete fucking rip off of the Squid Games.
32:36
Well, before that we see a little bit Jack gets the first
32:39
episode delivered to him in the mail by one of his hench men,
32:43
and then this is when he takes it to his girlfriend that's
32:45
sunbathing in the cold weather out in the back balcony.
32:49
Because her followers like her tan, which I've I've got too
32:57
many thoughts on like tanning and social beauty standard
33:01
societal beauty standards and your skin health that I'm just
33:04
not gonna get into. But either way, she's like,
33:06
yeah, I've got to be a tan. I feel like at this point if
33:08
you're like rich enough to do that, like, I don't know, maybe
33:10
get a sponsorship with a like sunless tanning company.
33:13
Yeah, I mean, what did we ever find out what kind of
33:17
personality she is online? I got the impression she was an
33:21
influencer. Yeah, I feel like she's just a
33:23
generic like influencer type. Hey, I'm at this place.
33:26
Look at this. Yeah, hey, I'm eating this right
33:28
now. What do you think?
33:30
But yeah, they're ready to go and and retire basically that's
33:35
what their plan. Is gonna move to an island.
33:37
Yep, the eight players are taken to their barracks and giving
33:40
clothes, which is just the same Walmart hoodie jumpsuit sets
33:45
that you were talking about, but in blue.
33:47
Yeah, instead of pink. Yeah.
33:50
Now we go to Game 2. Hop sketch.
33:52
Yep, they're drawing their numbers.
33:54
They can't move when the like boxes on the floor are red.
33:59
Also there's like a little whistle anytime it happens, so.
34:03
And because like every time the the lights are changing, Squish
34:09
starts whistling along with it. And then what he ends up doing
34:12
is he tricks Miss Sunshine when she's going, she hears the
34:15
whistle and just goes ahead and jumps.
34:17
And then she gets shot. She gets eliminated.
34:21
Fur eliminated. Fur eliminated?
34:24
Yeah, yeah. I mean, come on, just look at
34:26
the fucking lights, yeah. Yeah, that's one of those.
34:31
Like, it's kind of like how everybody's got a different
34:33
strategy for catching fish and Animal Crossing.
34:36
Yeah. Like some people have to listen
34:38
to the sounds. Some people like feel the
34:39
vibration, some are. Watching the I got it down, I I
34:43
quiz my eyes, I look away from the TV and I'll wait for the
34:46
vibrations because if I'm watching that fish, I'm going to
34:48
psych myself out. I I have to hear for the right,
34:53
right, I have to hear. It I'll wait and as soon as I
34:56
hear it my controller just like oozing his shit.
34:58
That's when I. Some of them don't give the lose
35:01
your shit rumble though. They do.
35:03
It's just super fast. You got to like it's an instant.
35:06
That's not losing your shit though.
35:08
That's a quick. That's a micro freak out.
35:12
Yeah, it's like Zoe. All right, so we discovered that
35:17
Walter is playing both sides, so he's trying to have an alliance
35:19
with Squish, but he's also trying to have an alliance with
35:22
Maxine and Carrie. He does a bad job, but a great
35:25
job at this at the same time. I don't know how to describe it.
35:29
He's. I mean, it was very clear that
35:30
he was going to align with Squish.
35:31
Yeah. Ruth is just trying to seduce
35:35
all of the men basically and then squish ends up hitting her,
35:40
which isn't against the rules. Which again is just an A an RIP
35:45
off from Squid Games. I can't even say it's a nomage
35:49
because they didn't take. You can't do anything different
35:51
with it yet. Nomage isn't this.
35:52
I'm not allowing it. Nomage.
35:54
Yeah, that's a nomage. That's the tagline.
36:03
It's a nomage. Luna is using the influencers
36:07
phones to text their families so that way they like don't wonder
36:11
where they're at even though this whole thing is supposed to
36:13
take like 3 days. Yep.
36:15
OK, so we cut to game #3 it's the obstacle course.
36:19
This one is optional and if you get through and under the time
36:22
limit you can go home. So Jess decides what she's going
36:26
to go through 1st and she does end up making it through, but
36:29
she is just like a couple seconds overtime.
36:31
So she gets shot and then Carrie's like I'm going to go.
36:35
And then as she's about to go she goes wait, wait, wait.
36:39
It's a risk to go through this, but it's also a risk to stay
36:43
here. Like it's a risk going back out
36:45
and living my life just playing my music and dive bars and
36:49
barely paying my rent. Everything's a risk, so I'm
36:52
going to keep the risk by staying.
36:54
Here, I misheard her. Whenever this happened, I
36:57
thought she was giving this big important speech like, this is a
37:00
risk. I got to make it through.
37:01
I'm going to make it through and I'm going to just like do my
37:03
shit the real way outside organically.
37:06
And then she like walks away back with the yeah, you.
37:08
I was like, wait, did she just give a speech?
37:10
You were so. Mad.
37:13
I think that was the angriest you got in the movie, and the
37:15
rest of the time you were just deflated.
37:17
I just I just I generally thought she was like, I got to
37:20
do this. I really got to do this right
37:21
now. And then she just walks away.
37:23
I'm like, what the fuck just happened here?
37:25
That makes a lot more sense, I guess.
37:28
But still at the same time who like, I don't get the risk, like
37:36
going out there and just like doing your shit, you know, and
37:39
trying to be successful or, you know, dying, you know, which
37:43
one, which one's it going to be or being complicit kind of I
37:45
say. Right now it's kind of a risk
37:47
either way, but like the odds are a little bit better going
37:50
through the obstacle course. Honestly I would generally don't
37:53
think it's that hard to take out this fox.
37:57
This guy seems soft as fuck. And I think he hasn't drank a
38:01
bottle of water in three years. You you get that wrench out of
38:05
his hands, you will fuck him up. I guarantee it.
38:10
OK, so we kept to one of the guards catching the other with
38:14
like a zip lock baggie full of powder.
38:18
It's not it's not a dime bag. It is a full zip lock sandwich
38:22
bag. They're arguing about it.
38:26
We see Luna at the house and she is packing her bags and she
38:32
sends a secret text she won't like Jax pro see it.
38:35
The guard with the drugs pops up and she's like you'll only need
38:39
a tablespoon, that'll be enough. We later find out it's cyanide.
38:44
I don't know how much cyanide you need but I feel like the
38:47
amount she has is overkill. It's way overkill.
38:49
Yeah. Like these people didn't know.
38:52
Yeah, and she's like, OK, well, he's gonna cash out after Game
38:56
7, so I'll pay you then. And the card's like, OK, cool.
38:58
See, it would have been funny if we had seen the scene of her
39:01
preparing his drink and she takes that entire baggie and
39:04
pours all of it in there, and he's, like, heaping, like it's a
39:07
sticking out of the drink. Yeah, that would have been fun.
39:11
I would have had some fun in that moment, babe.
39:14
Why does this Powerade kind of taste like almond?
39:17
It's a new kind of whipped cream, yeah.
39:19
OK, game four musical chairs. The first person cut will be
39:24
eliminated and the winner will get $1 million.
39:27
And this is the most some of the most unsettling fucking music
39:32
that you could have for musical chairs.
39:33
Yeah, Hey, we get some music. What?
39:35
Do you know? Yeah, yeah.
39:36
This is public domain. Yeah, absolutely.
39:38
Yeah. They didn't pay for this.
39:40
I think the only thing worse would be I'm going to throw this
39:45
out there. I heard a lofi cover of Santa
39:48
Baby that was a nightmare and I feel like that would be.
39:52
I could just as. Nightmarish for.
39:54
This. Yeah, I can see the similarities
39:55
there. OK, so the first Med school
39:59
gamer. AJ.
40:00
AJ he gets. He's eliminated first, so they
40:04
just drag him into the back rooms and then they continue.
40:07
They take away a chair and start the next round.
40:10
Yep, Walter is the next one out, then Maxine, then Carrie, and as
40:14
Carrie is being escorted to the next room, she sees that AJ is
40:16
still alive and the screen comes on.
40:19
And we learned that, surprise, the final 2 are actually going
40:23
to be the winner. A loser because that's better
40:25
stakes. Yeah, yeah.
40:27
So they have to kill each other or they don't have to kill each
40:31
other. It's just the loser dies.
40:32
It's just that we have the two most deranged people that are
40:35
there, so that's kind of how it ends up being because they're
40:37
fighting over the chair and then Squish puts her in a chokehold,
40:42
blows her on the ground and stomps on her face.
40:44
The thing that it made me irrationally upset, but the way
40:48
that Ruth, when she's circling around, she like sticks her butt
40:52
out towards the chair like that right there reminds that just
40:55
makes you think of like somebody at like a small town festival
40:58
that's playing a game with kids. And it's like trying too hard to
41:02
win. Like I was like, put your
41:03
fucking butt away. Yeah.
41:05
You're. It's yeah.
41:07
Like, stop, just stop. You look fucking stupid, Squish.
41:10
It doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, he just chokes her out and
41:14
then I think the. More fun version of this would
41:16
be kind of like in Jackass when they had the like air bags in
41:19
the chairs. And one of them.
41:21
Yeah, yeah. Everybody has a chair and you
41:23
just don't know which one. Is that is so much better than
41:26
this right here, Like, OK, yeah. So yeah.
41:28
Oh God, yeah. Good punch up.
41:31
Thank you. So we see Jack's pro meets with
41:36
Ruth who didn't die and he offers her a guard position and
41:40
he's going to pay her $2,000,000 and then we see Walter is paying
41:45
off the the for eliminator. What is this?
41:49
We don't get anything about this.
41:52
He's just doing this and then it doesn't matter.
41:54
It never becomes a thing that comes up.
41:56
Yeah, it's, it's, see, that's what I mean.
42:00
It's like they have a bunch of like storylines and ideas that
42:04
they just don't ever close on. Yeah, I just shuddered.
42:11
Great Game 5 is hide and seek. OK, this is the best one.
42:15
This one is actually good. This set this set for this, I
42:17
really appreciate it. It looked like a type of house
42:20
that you would see in like the the I'm on observation duty type
42:25
games. Yeah, I could see that.
42:27
It's like all like pastels and antiques, but it also like when
42:31
you look at it a little bit more, it feels very fake and
42:34
phony. Yeah.
42:36
So yeah, they got but 30 seconds to hide, 60 seconds to hide, and
42:41
then the fox is gonna come seek him.
42:44
But yeah, there's not a lot of good hiding spots.
42:47
It's just a really basic room. And, you know, you just kind of
42:50
got to do your best. I liked they had one really cool
42:54
shot here where it's Carrie hiding behind the chair.
42:58
And you can kind of see through, like the little, like, woven
43:00
part of the chair as like the fox is like walking around in
43:02
the room. I thought that they did a good
43:04
job there. Maxine, she runs from her
43:09
because they're, like I said, there are no good hiding spots.
43:11
So part of this game is that they kind of have to keep moving
43:14
so they don't get spotted. And Maxine is in a very
43:17
vulnerable position. So once the fur eliminator moves
43:20
past, she runs and hides in a closet with Walter.
43:24
Except then we've got Squish, who does the same thing and he
43:28
gets in the closet and they're they all fit in there, right?
43:33
Yeah, but he decides that we're gonna go ahead and eliminate
43:36
Maxine and makes Walter push her out, and then the for eliminator
43:40
chokes her and breaks her neck. This whole time was Aaj Med
43:44
school gamer. Yeah, he's kind of hiding in the
43:46
side of the bed. And he could have done
43:50
something. He he actively chose not to help
43:54
in this situation. It feels very much like a like
43:57
the trolley problem, like. Yeah, but.
44:02
Somebody's gonna die either way. What is your involvement in it?
44:05
Are you gonna be passive or active?
44:07
In this situation, I would like take out the fox.
44:10
If you get the fox and then we're in the guard, you can
44:13
maybe sneak attack one of them. Of course this is all in my head
44:16
and it would never go as planned, but yeah.
44:20
Jack's pro has Ruth killed the guard that sold Luna the
44:27
cyanide? Yeah, cuz she's just like
44:30
hanging out at his house now. I guess they're kind of like a
44:32
couple. They're gonna be.
44:34
Yeah, well, she comes over to her house and like the the
44:39
girlfriend sketched out. Yeah, she's like, cuz they're
44:42
like acting a little bit too friendly.
44:44
Yeah, it's a it's a little uncomfortable.
44:46
Yeah, but I mean, this whole time she's plotting to kill him,
44:48
so. And I think he, I mean, he's
44:50
aware of it, right? He like, have we brought gotten
44:53
to the part of the drink yet? No.
44:54
OK, no. So game six, tetherball, we're
44:59
going to have a loser's bracket. And the tetherball is actually
45:03
like a Mace. So when they're hitting it,
45:06
they're getting like, the spikes in their hand.
45:08
So the first 2 are AJ and Walt, and AJ ends up beating Walt.
45:13
Then we've got Carrie and Squish, and Carrie just let
45:16
Squish win, and he's like, you didn't even try.
45:18
And she goes, yeah, except now I'm going up against your little
45:21
ally Walter, and his hands are fucked up from his round, but
45:25
mine are still good. And then they're both like,
45:27
that's not fair. And Jack's pro's like, that's
45:30
playing smart, babe. Yeah, but you know, really, I
45:34
think with the adrenaline, I think you could push through.
45:37
Yeah, I think. You use your other hand.
45:39
You're not like tethered ball. You're not slapping with both
45:42
hands, you're slapping with one hand.
45:43
Listen, they wanted to give Carrie a little bit of
45:45
development. Our hero here.
45:48
Yeah, OK, It would have been cool.
45:52
I'm a musician. I build up calluses.
45:54
Bitch, you're going to. Have something more about her
45:57
being like, I'm a musician. I can't destroy my hands.
46:00
This will ruin my livelihood. But no, instead we just get like
46:03
this is them quote UN quote playing dirty.
46:05
But it's not I wouldn't even call it playing dirty.
46:07
It's not pushing Maxine into the path of somebody else.
46:11
It's like, all right, I feel more confident about my chances
46:14
in the loser bracket. You know what I mean?
46:16
Like. Yeah.
46:18
I mean, that's that's strategy, yeah.
46:21
So that's that's how that goes. And she kills him, yeah.
46:24
Maybe she doesn't kill him, but he he attacks Walt and Walt in
46:29
the process, demasks the fox, and we see it's just this guy.
46:34
Yeah, it's just. It would have been better if he
46:36
was, you know, somebody that we had already been established or
46:41
like been introduced beforehand. Yeah, I kept thinking like it
46:44
was just so, so weird. Wait, who's this guy is?
46:46
Surely it's gonna be somebody, right?
46:48
No. He's nobody, he's just AI.
46:50
Don't mean that in a rude way like he's just a guy.
46:53
Just a guy that dresses as a fox and kills people.
46:55
And it's also a big fan of Jax Pro.
46:57
Yeah, that's it. So we got to Luna trying to
47:00
poison Jax. He wants his.
47:02
He wants his Powerade. It's G fuel, all my G fuel.
47:06
That's what they it wasn't Red Bull, it was G fuel that they
47:09
had on. Set.
47:09
Yeah, So he he's like, have you tasted those flavors?
47:14
It's really good. She goes, I don't like G fuel.
47:16
And he's like every flavor, even this flavor.
47:18
And she goes, yeah, I just don't like him.
47:19
He goes, well, this is a new flavor, you should try it.
47:21
And and that's what I'm like. I think that this guy's acting
47:25
is pretty. He did OK, He did OK and.
47:27
I like wish more of the rest of the movie had this kind of
47:29
energy to. It you know, he looks a lot to
47:32
me like James A Jenice. My God make him blonde.
47:36
Put on some bad fake tattoos. Give a little if he ever covers
47:40
this movie on the kill count, he could dress exactly like this
47:45
guy. My God.
47:48
Yeah. So yeah.
47:49
And eventually she keeps refusing and he's like, we're
47:52
gonna drink this or I will hurt you.
47:55
And then she runs away. And then she runs downstairs.
47:58
And then as she's running downstairs, Ruth gives a shotgun
48:02
and shoots her with bad fake shot effect and all.
48:06
And. Then they because they shoot her
48:08
in the gut and then they set her up with a suicide note.
48:12
Yeah, they write a little suicide note for her.
48:16
So now it's Game 7, they're playing hangman so they've got 2
48:23
seconds to guess a letter and they will get a shock for every
48:26
wrong letter or every like non guess and the shocks will get
48:29
like. More, more.
48:32
Intense. Yeah.
48:33
And this is also weird because it's a single buzzer used for
48:37
all of the players and so like the fur eliminator is having to
48:41
go back and forth on it, but I'm like, how do you know which one
48:43
you're shocking? He's also.
48:46
He's the fur eliminator. He knows all.
48:48
I guess that's true. Yeah, Squish is terrible at this
48:50
game. Yeah, he is not doing well.
48:53
And then eventually. But he does end up guessing the
48:56
first phrase. Yeah, it's like Maxine.
49:00
Maxine lost the game. Why is that they trying to rub
49:06
it in the carry? Yeah, I don't know.
49:08
I don't know, but we we cut to then it's just AJ and Carrie and
49:15
they don't want. You keep guessing the wrong
49:18
letter of. Yeah, I know.
49:19
I think. Guessing like he's not guessing
49:21
on purpose because he like they know one of them is going to die
49:26
and he basically sacrifices himself for Carrie.
49:29
We don't really get a good reason why other than they were
49:31
in an alliance but like. Because he's a gamer, he took
49:34
the gamer's way out. It's a noble, noble title to
49:41
have. OK so now we see the Fox meeting
49:46
with Jack and he gets scolded for being the mask.
49:51
Yeah, he said. It ruined the illusion.
49:53
Yeah, and then this guy ends up just being like the number one
49:57
fan of Jack's Pro. Yeah.
49:59
To the point where he has matching tattoos like Jesse
50:01
pointed out before, which creeps out Jack's Pro.
50:05
And you know, I get that. Yeah.
50:07
Yeah, that's kind of really freaky.
50:09
This guy's also kind of unsettling just in general.
50:12
I. Don't think he blinks.
50:14
I don't think he does either. He's like he still has all of
50:16
the blue on his pursuit. He's one of those all.
50:19
The blood on his pursuit, Geez. He's one of those guys where
50:22
like I would say like stay in the suit.
50:23
I don't want to see you like normal because it's more creepy
50:26
that way. Like, at least I know that a
50:29
suit isn't supposed to blink. Yeah, exactly.
50:30
Yeah. And then Ruth, as Ruth does,
50:34
comes in and shoots him. Yeah, she's always just like the
50:43
second-half of the movie. It's just like her behind like a
50:45
pillar and a shotgun. She always comes out like ha ha.
50:49
She like, shoots like fucking Scarface even.
50:51
You know what rhymes with Ruth? Shoot.
50:53
Tooth That's the kind of writing we get in this movie, y'all?
50:59
OK so game 8 is capture the flag so they have to They cannot kill
51:06
or knock out their opponent. I feel like that rule was made
51:09
for a squish. Yeah, it was, I feel.
51:11
Like, that rule wasn't written down and he was like, I'm gonna
51:13
need to be real clear with this motherfucker.
51:15
He's like, I do not want this guy to inherit my social media.
51:19
Squish does push Carrie, which I thought we literally just said
51:23
you couldn't do that, but whatever.
51:24
And he picks up the flag, and he's like, yeah, I win.
51:28
And then Carrie looks over, sees the real flag.
51:31
This flag was just a strip of Ruth's sleeve.
51:34
She shot it off. Yeah.
51:38
Yeah, yeah. So he realizes too late that he
51:43
doesn't have the right one, and then obviously he is.
51:46
He's killed. He's shot in CGI fashion.
51:50
Yep, Carrie wakes up in Jack's pro's house and she's got his
51:56
login information to all of the accounts.
52:00
His password is big booty bitches.
52:04
I didn't write that down, I just remembered.
52:05
That in my heart. She calls 911 and she was told
52:10
your next move is very important.
52:13
They're going to be conducting an investigation, what you say
52:16
and do. This is another thing.
52:18
This guy, like she had a moment with him in the hide and see
52:20
game where she opened the window, but she was about to
52:22
escape and the guy was going to let her go, but she heard Maxine
52:26
screaming, so she decided to go help her instead.
52:28
And then we get this guy again. He's like, I don't know, do what
52:31
you got to do. I got to go.
52:32
And then she's like, wait, who are you?
52:33
And he takes off his mask. And again, it's nobody that we
52:36
know, but they play it up. It's like it's me, like.
52:40
Oh, yeah. OK.
52:42
All right. Get to finally meet you, I
52:44
guess. Yeah.
52:44
All right. Bye.
52:46
And then cuts to seven months later.
52:48
Three months later. Where did you get.
52:52
I got 3. That's just that's a really
52:55
poorly written 3. Three, maybe this movie has
52:59
like, different viewing experiences for everybody.
53:02
Everybody goes into their own. Like what would you?
53:04
Mention as they. Watch, I had a fox, but you had
53:07
you had a fucking turtle. Oh man.
53:10
OK, so three months later, we see Carrie on the phone.
53:13
She's like, yeah, I got 200 views on that new song
53:15
overnight. That's great.
53:17
And then, yeah, is this what you wanted?
53:19
Sent a link to a video and it's a video of Ruth and Jack's pro
53:26
who's now Chippy McDaniels. And they're just eating food.
53:31
They're just gonna go touring places on an island.
53:33
And yeah, that's it. And she seems like she's scared,
53:38
but like we. No need to I, I don't fucking
53:44
know. I don't think that they really
53:47
knew how to end this thing. Yeah, I think this whole script
53:51
is a fever dream for them. I'm gonna actually I'm gonna
53:53
bump down my square to 2.5. OK, it's just man, I, I, I just
53:59
hate, I hate to be negative about a movie like this, but
54:02
there's just nothing. It's nothing here.
54:08
What's your score? 1.
54:10
OK, you didn't clarify if you were keeping the score or.
54:13
Not can you do zeros. No.
54:15
OK, I'll give him a one for trying at least.
54:17
OK. 1.75 that. Feels weird but OK.
54:29
I don't think that's right. I don't think it is either.
54:34
It's a. No, it's 1.75.
54:41
It's just 1.7. Five man, I'm like actually
54:43
getting good at math and I'm not even meaning to.
54:47
Wow, you've been in your math based job for like over a?
54:49
Year. Yeah, I know, right?
54:50
It's finally happening. Yeah, OK.
54:53
I think we, we've talked about so many changes along the way,
54:56
right? Yeah, I I think my biggest thing
54:59
is I just want them to have more fun with it and also close up
55:03
and start and have more middle to all of their.
55:07
Stories have more. Have more story.
55:09
Yeah. Yeah.
55:10
I mean, that's my thing too. Like, if you're gonna do it, I,
55:13
I would have loved for this to have been more fun and to take
55:15
itself not seriously, but it chose to take itself seriously.
55:18
And if you're gonna do that, like, at least put forth effort
55:22
to give us good characters and stories.
55:24
Yeah, this is like somebody who heard what Squid Games is about
55:28
but didn't actually watch it. Like watch like maybe a
55:31
highlight reel on YouTube or something.
55:32
Yeah, yeah, or Tik Toks. Who does you relate to though?
55:38
Who do I relate to? Yeah, there's like nobody that
55:45
presents qualities to relate to in this movie.
55:50
I guess I relate to. I relate to Jack's pro because I
56:00
have been known to wear fake tattoos before.
56:03
OK, just to get a response to other people.
56:06
I did it to my papaw one time. You were there with me.
56:09
We were. Remember this when we, like, did
56:11
the neck tattoos? Dragon ones?
56:12
Yeah. Your parents.
56:13
Weren't fans with that either. No, no, it was good.
56:16
Yeah. OK.
56:19
How about you? I.
56:21
Guess I probably related to. Right, it's not easy.
56:40
I guess I probably related to. 5 Four stop.
56:53
That. 3. Don't.
56:56
Can't have just silence on here. It's a podcast, too.
56:58
OK, I guess I will relate to Jax Pro just because like I relate
57:03
to having to do the like over the top greetings all the time.
57:06
OK, Yeah, yeah, you do that. Yeah.
57:08
Episodes, that's there you go. You do it.
57:11
See. OK.
57:13
Now here's the real tough question.
57:16
To be or not to be? What was Scout's favorite?
57:18
Oh whoa whoa, man. Scout's favorite part.
57:27
I think Scout's favorite part was some musical chairs.
57:30
You know, why would you say that?
57:31
Because she liked the whole thing of forcing herself to sit.
57:35
Like Ruth's strategy of like sitting on people's laps and
57:38
pushing them out of the chair. She basically does that when she
57:42
comes over to us and like lays on her laps.
57:45
Travis, obviously Scout's favorite part was hide and seek.
57:51
How many times have we been running late and trying to make
57:54
sure that she hasn't snuck out of the house and she's hiding
57:56
somewhere? I wish that there was a game
57:58
that they played at game 9. Give us a game 9 bonus round
58:02
where it's like get a thing of fluff and run through the house
58:06
and get chased because Scout would love that.
58:07
Would be her favorite part of this.
58:10
OK, I've got reviews from IMDBI took both a negative and a
58:15
positive, so we could have multiple opinions.
58:18
I'll go ahead and start with the -1 because that's what we've
58:22
generally been at at this point already anyway.
58:31
OK, yeah, I'm sorry, I forgot that this is our live episode so
58:34
we can't edit out the silence. Yeah, OK, here's a one out of
58:38
10. I genuinely couldn't tell if
58:40
this was trying to be a comedy. The acting is terrible and the
58:43
plot is a complete RIP off of Squid Games in the same way
58:45
which items are a RIP off of the real thing.
58:47
So you'd think this is a parody, right?
58:49
So did I before I watched it. I would say Squid Games.
58:52
We clearly have a right to sue here, but I doubt they would
58:54
because honestly, that just shows how bad Squid Games could
58:56
have been if the right people hadn't been working on it.
58:59
So they're probably letting this film run because it's like The
59:01
Ugly by comparison. It makes it look so much better.
59:04
I'm not gonna hold on. I'm not gonna lie.
59:06
The entire after watching this movie, I thought to myself, my
59:09
actual thought was, oh, thank God we actually have Squid
59:12
Games. Yeah, like we actually have
59:14
something good to go to after this.
59:15
Squid Games is amazing for a lot of reasons, and it's more than
59:20
just like, oh, a child's games that you die doing.
59:22
Like there is like a lot. Of good story too, yeah.
59:25
Commentary, We learn about some Korean like Children's Games.
59:32
Yeah, that I like. That was kind of just fun to
59:34
learn from a learning perspective.
59:36
I like that there's drama. Yeah, there's a lot of good
59:38
things going for it. There's old man being happy
59:41
that. Old man broke my heart.
59:44
OK, seriously, avoid this film and avoid wasting time in your
59:49
life that you'd never get back. I can't disagree with that.
59:53
I mean that Did I write that? Was that my?
59:58
I can't find a flaw in that at all.
1:00:01
Yeah, it's just that sums it up perfectly all.
1:00:04
Right 9 out of 10. I'm curious to hear what this
1:00:08
says. It's a.
1:00:08
Spoof you idiots. No it's not, you idiot.
1:00:13
Egg. All these are viewers that
1:00:14
actually took this for a serious attempt at a horror movie.
1:00:17
Please. It's a spoof, a parody, a
1:00:19
comical jab at a real movie slash show, in this case Squid
1:00:22
Game. That being said, it is an
1:00:24
excellent spoof, especially for a low budget film.
1:00:27
The lack of back stories, all the unanswered questions, the
1:00:30
horrible visual effects, the pathetic makeup, and the extreme
1:00:33
lack of plot and direction are what make it such an awesome
1:00:35
spoof. That is not what makes a spoof.
1:00:37
You have to. If you're going to do stupid,
1:00:39
you have to do stupid smart. We talked.
1:00:41
About that all the. Time you have to actually spoof.
1:00:43
There were there's no spoof done in this.
1:00:46
Surprisingly though, the acting wasn't half bad.
1:00:48
Typically I would expect to see some horrible overly can't be
1:00:51
acting, which in my opinion is just annoying.
1:00:53
However, that really isn't the case here.
1:00:55
Yes some of the actors could use some work, but overall not bad.
1:00:58
I enjoyed it for what it is. SP off.
1:01:01
SP off Is that their name? Are they signing off?
1:01:05
No, they just typo it on spoof. They spoof the spoof.
1:01:10
I thought that that was their signing off like SB off mic drop
1:01:15
and. I'm glad that this person
1:01:18
enjoyed the spoof elements of it for themselves.
1:01:22
There weren't any spoof films like that's.
1:01:24
My thing is in, look, if you got enjoyment out of this, I'm
1:01:28
really glad because people did work hard on this film.
1:01:30
I think you know. What I mean, but like for me,
1:01:33
like we've said multiple times, like stupid humor isn't just
1:01:36
like half assing something. You have to be smart to be
1:01:39
stupid. Yeah, yeah, like that screams to
1:01:42
me somebody involved in the project.
1:01:45
Oh, no. There was a review that was very
1:01:47
clearly somebody involved in the project and I just.
1:01:49
What did they say? Ask.
1:01:50
That it was just. I mean, these people fucking
1:01:53
tried yo. No, it was like.
1:01:55
SB off. Anyway, that's it.
1:02:00
I think this is all we were gonna say on the Game on.
1:02:03
The No we gotta do one more thing.
1:02:05
To be or not to be? Look, everybody draw your own
1:02:09
conclusions, but for me. Would you recommend it ever?
1:02:14
No. No, I this is no for me too.
1:02:16
Like, I'm not going to tell. Our official stance on this show
1:02:21
is that everybody should watch a movie and draw their own opinion
1:02:23
for themselves. Am I going to go tell somebody
1:02:25
that I love and care about that I have precious few moments on
1:02:28
this earth with to watch this movie?
1:02:31
No. I.
1:02:31
Just want to remind people, for anybody out there that's
1:02:34
forgotten, we have recommended things to people.
1:02:37
We enjoy things. We and ironically, enjoy things.
1:02:41
We like bad movies. We love bad movies.
1:02:44
Here, Yeah, we are the king and queen of hot takes when it comes
1:02:49
to horror movies. This just ain't.
1:02:51
Heed our warning with this one if you are a curious.
1:02:55
You're part of the Joe, Alicia. Yeah, yeah, Doomasum I that is a
1:03:01
hill that I will die on. Now that is an entertaining
1:03:04
movie. That's entertaining Bad.
1:03:06
Yeah, this doesn't even have. No entertainment value to it.
1:03:11
It's just don't you just listen to this if?
1:03:14
This was a proof of concept. I mean, it's too long.
1:03:16
It's a proof of concept. But if it was a proof of concept
1:03:18
to try and get funding to make a better version of this, I'd be
1:03:21
like, here's money, but you're going to get an actual
1:03:25
screenwriter and editor, a director.
1:03:28
Like we're going to do all of this.
1:03:29
Nothing as often this would be. Yeah, you know, you can handle
1:03:32
something. You got this.
1:03:36
Yeah, that's it. Keep keep trying though, we're
1:03:39
gonna go keep making shit. We're gonna go record Child's
1:03:42
Play and we're gonna have some takes on that that a lot of
1:03:43
people are gonna disagree with. So that'll be fun.
1:03:47
You can listen to that on Thursday.
1:03:48
This is Child's Play 2019. You can also watch it on TV.
1:03:51
You can have a really weird 3 hours on TV if you want, Yeah.
1:03:54
Just like this. Thankfully, we split it up into
1:03:57
two days. I, you know, I mean I was what
1:04:01
if we follow this up with? Jackass Yeah.
1:04:04
Don't I think we're emotionally exhausted?
1:04:06
Yeah, child's play. It's a good way to Yeah.
1:04:09
No child's play go back though, would.
1:04:10
Have had to like write notes and stuff and I just.
1:04:12
I know. No, I know.
1:04:14
Yeah. I'm all I'm saying is it would
1:04:16
have been a good pallet Quincy. Yeah, OK.
1:04:21
In the meantime, would love to thank our bubbies over on the
1:04:24
Patreon. We've got Joe Fricatron, as is
1:04:27
his name, Amber, Michael, Lord Zombie, Chad, Tyler and Johnny.
1:04:32
I went out of order. Weird.
1:04:35
OK. Thanks though for everybody
1:04:37
being. Patient.
1:04:38
Yeah, regardless of what order. Yeah, we don't do it.
1:04:42
It's not a tier list. We just we got to memorize in
1:04:44
our house. Yeah, in a certain way, yeah.
1:04:46
It's like one of those, like, camp games where you have to go
1:04:48
around and say everybody's name and the fact about them, and you
1:04:50
have to like, do it for everybody in the circle as it
1:04:52
goes on. Like that's how we memorize
1:04:54
everybody's names, yeah. But thank you, guys.
1:04:57
Yeah, you guys are awesome. If you guys are enabled to
1:04:58
support us, like our patrons, you can do things like rate and
1:05:02
review on whatever platform you listen on, share episodes with
1:05:05
friends, share them online on social media, do all those
1:05:07
things which are cool. All huge forms of support as
1:05:09
well. Yeah, big time makes a big
1:05:11
difference. Also, subscribing or following
1:05:13
us on whatever platform you listen on is great also.
1:05:16
So thanks everybody for being here.
1:05:19
We appreciate y'all. If you guys ever actually have
1:05:22
watched this movie, please tell us.
1:05:25
I want to know what everybody else thinks about this, if
1:05:27
anybody actually does watch it. Yeah, it's.
1:05:31
Just. Oh my God, yeah.
1:05:33
It's it's really, it's a bummer to have a movie that we feel
1:05:38
this negatively about, honestly, because we generally just love
1:05:41
movies. Yeah, it's.
1:05:42
This is a bummer as the first. You know what?
1:05:45
It happens sometimes they're not all gonna be good.
1:05:48
Yeah. OK.
1:05:50
All right, let's go on to child's play.
1:05:52
Yay. All right, we'll see you guys.
1:05:55
Bye.