Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / The Twot Seat: KATIE THURSTON

Transcript

The Twot Seat: KATIE THURSTON · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Two teas in a pod which Teddy Mellencamp and camera judge.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of The twat Seat,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: and I am very excited to have a very special
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: guest today, Katie Thurston. Katie was originally on the Bachelor
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: and then she became the Bachelorette. The reason that I
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: wanted to have her aunt today not only did I
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: love watching her on both of those shows, is she
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: also is struggling with cancer. She has breast cancer I
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: think stage four, and so I just wanted to talk
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: to her about all the things. I mean, I know
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: at some point she wanted to start a family. I
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: know she recently got engaged and married since being diagnosed.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: So let's dig into it. Oh yeah, that's the name
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: of the pod that you're on right now.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: So what did you just call me?
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Can you guess who's on? If you watch something other
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: than the Real Housewives, then you've probably already recognized this voice.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: But it's I'm having somebody on because they've really touched
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: my heart and it's taught me a lot, and she's
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: taught me a lot, and so I wanted to come
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: on and have this conversation and there's no better person
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: than I would want to have on to have this
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: conversation than Katie Thurston.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: Hi, I'm from The Bachelor, the Bachelorette, and we have cancer.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: That's my intro. That's how you become a TWI. I
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: already teared.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Up when I never saw you.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I like, can't make eye contact with you for too long,
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I will just start crying.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. So I'm going to go into this
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: interview like we know nothing.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fine.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: And then any questions you have back for me, feel
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: free to ask. I'm sure I'll chime in whether I
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: should have known. It's fine. And as I told her,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, listen there sometimes during the interview that
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I may pause or get a little confused. And when
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: you said same, I just wanted.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: To cry the most. I was like, I feel like
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: I'm talking to myself right now. Like it's unfortunately very relatable,
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: so like I will like stutter or like forget complete things,
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: and it's scary sometimes and given anext text is good
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: so far. I do a lot of voice memos to
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: like because that's the easiest thing. Yeah, thank you.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: For saying that, because everyone's like Teddy, you and the
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: voice memos, and I'm like, I don't email anymore, just
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: text or voice memo. Yeah, so I'm like I can't
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: add that additional So first and foremost, congratulations, you're you're
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: a wife.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Now I'm a wife. I like the word husband, my husband, Yes,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: the room or you trying to watch house?
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Wow?
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: You know I'm busy nowadays.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: But yeah, we wanted to have Katie on because there's
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: just so much that there is to learn, and I
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: think that you are Like everything that I've seen that
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: you've talked about has just been so inspiring for me.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I know we have different types of cancers, but do
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: you mind telling me a little bit about how you
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: came to find out where you are now?
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was obviously very unexpected. I think anyone who
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: has cancer is not expecting it. It was beginning of
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: the year and I was like, I should do like
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: my health checks. You know, I'm at the time engaged.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I want to maybe start a family, so let's just
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: you know, check on some things, including this lump that
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: I had. And I'd had a lump before and it
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: was a be nine sist and I kind of was
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: holding onto that thought and it was like oh, there's
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: no urgency. However, when I went in, they you know,
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: referred me to the specialist, which is normal. I don't
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: wait for like a few weeks for that. And then
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: it was that appointment. I was like, Oh, things are
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: more serious than I thought. You know, they're doing the
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: breast ultrasound and they're not saying anything, and you can
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: just hear her like take photo after photo after photo.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, she sees something, you know. I remember
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: with my first breast ultrasound in my twenties early twenties,
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: they told me right away, oh, it's nothing, you know.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I was kind of holding my breath for that, and
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: then when they didn't say anything, I just started like
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: crying because I just knew my gut. And they're like, well,
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: can you do a mammogram today. I'm like, I've never
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: even had a mammogram yet.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so young.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And then I was like yeah, and so, you know,
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: I get the mammogram, and you know, the girl who
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: was helping me, she didn't know anything at the time.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: I was like already panicing. She's like, oh, it's fine,
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: just a mamogram, and I was like, okay, but we're
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: looking for breast cancer. And then same thing when she
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: did the mammogram, she was kind of like her tone change.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: She was more like soft and nurturing and kind of
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: like it's okay, you know, and I was like, shoot,
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: something's going.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: I know. It's almost harder when you can start to
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: read how the other person's feeling.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: You feel it.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: You can feel it.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm a big energy person, which is also I
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: like cried almost like when I saw it, like oh
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I can feel this energy. But yeah, so then then
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: they're like, okay, well we got to do a biopsy.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: And so I was in is like really tough place
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: in terms of like I was about to turn into
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: my keys in La, Like my lease was up. I
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: was supposed to be traveling for two months like basically homeless,
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: you know, on the road with my now husband, and
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: then that's when I was like, what do we do?
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: My husband, who was supposed to be traveling, postponed two
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: months of his world tour to be with me, which
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: I didn't know at the time. That was like the
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: saving grace for me because I had no idea like
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: what I was about to get into. As you probably know,
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: the beginning is the hardest part of getting a diagnosis.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: There's so much so how did they initially diagnose you?
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: And what exactly did they say?
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Well, that's the even crazier part. When I was first
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: diagnosed as stage three triple positive, and that was in.
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: LA, and then.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: So hormone positive, like it feeds off hormones, that's the
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: first like plus plus. And then there's something called her
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: too negative or her too positive, which is like a
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: her too protein. It's I had I thought breast cancer
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: was breast cancer. There's there's triple negative, triple positive, and
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: then hormone positive, her too negative. It's very complex, but
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: in the in the beginning, I was stage three triple positive.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: And then I transferred care from LA to New York
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: where my husband lives, and now I live too, and
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: you kind of have to get rediagnosed, which was also
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: a weird, like saving grace because they're like, oh, you're
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: not stay straight, you're stage four, which shitty. But then
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: they're like, but also, you're not her too positive, you're
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: her too negative, which meant I didn't have to do chemotherapy,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: but we didn't. I literally had my port installed. I
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: was one day away from starting chemo, and I remember
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: calling my own colleges because you get so many like
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: medications right before you start chemo, and I was like,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: I don't understand these instructions, like what do I do?
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: And she's like, well, hold on, we're waiting. We're still
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: waiting to get confirmation on your her two status. And
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: she'd never told me. I think she didn't want to
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: give me like this like false hope of like, oh,
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: maybe I don't have to do it. I'm like, what, Like,
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: I literally just have my port installed, I have my
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: chemo bag packed, and you're telling me like tomorrow I
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: might not do chemo. And then that's ultimately when it
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: was happening, is they confirmed that I was misdiagnosed in LA.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: It changed my whole treatment plan. Stage four is the
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: unfortunate part, but I mean at least they caught it.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Because you are treated differently when you're like stage three
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: versus stage four.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: And what is the Because I'm stage four, but mine's
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: melanoma that metastaized to my brain and lungs, So what
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: is the difference in treatment when you are stage four?
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: So I think when you're stage three they want to
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: be really aggressive because it hasn't spread yet, so they
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: like throw everything at it. And it's very tough on
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: your body. For the type of cancer I have. It
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: was in my liver. But this treatment that just came
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: out maybe four years ago, it's an oral medication and
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: that's what I do as I take a pill every day,
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: three weeks on, one week off. I don't know like
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: the science behind it, but it's it is tough on
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: my body, but it's working. Like the tumor in my
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: liver has already shrunk. That's huge, thank you, thank you.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: The breast has shrunk in size. My next scan is October,
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: and so my I mean, maybe I'm being a little
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: too optimistic, but I'm like, maybe I'll be no evidence
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: of disease, which is like the term they use for
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: people like us, you know, like technically with breast cancer,
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: I'll never be you know, cured at this time. It's
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: always I try to explain it, like there's always a
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: breast cancer cell circulating somewhere. It's how I like simplify
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: it and why I'm not, you know, ever going to
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: be like breast cancer free as of now. But I'm
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: very optimistic in like medical advancements and and hope, you know,
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: for a great future for people like you and me
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: in terms of what the future holds and what treatments
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: are available, and how does the pill make you feel?
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: Oh girl, well, the memory thing is like the one
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: thing I noticed right away. My vision's decreasing, my thinning.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: I'm tired all the time, which is tough because they're like, oh, well,
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: to help with the you know, side effects work out.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: I'm like, but I'm too tired to do anything super forgetful.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: So when you said that, I was like, I felt
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: a little more calm in this interview because like God,
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: sometimes mid.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Sentence fumble around forget It's fine, I don't understand.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And like my like management is great because I'll
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: forget things and they they know, like now especially like
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: to hold my hand through things. And I think that's
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: the one thing we have in our space that we're
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: in is we have this like freedom to like move
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: at our pace, you know. And if I was like
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: at the bank, which is where I used to do
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: before Reality TV, I would have to go on disability
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: because there's no way I could work a normal job
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: working people's money and in private information and at a
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: pace that made sense.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: That's something that just honestly made me feel so much gratitude,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: because You're right, there is absolutely no even me trying
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: to like manage my kids' schedules the way that I
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: used to. I can't do it. Like I don't have
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: the like the cognitive ability to like be that set. Yeah,
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: it's like a schedule really stresses me out.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: And it sucks because you don't have control the way
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: like we used to, you know. And I was just
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: in Washington, where I'm from, and I didn't even have
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: all my hotels planned. I was like booking hotels like
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: the day before because that's all I'm capable of doing.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I can't believe this is exactly Or
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: like committing to things yeah yeah, And then I'm like,
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: once I commit to it, then I'm like, well I
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: have to do it.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: No, No, you don't. You you use that cancer card
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: all the time you earned it. And that's the thing
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: I'm learning is like, like you have to be so
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: guilt free and taking care of yourself and putting yourself first,
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: and like I have like one hundred unread text messages
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: right now that I'm like, I don't know if I'll
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: ever so many of our friends and family listening. It's
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: not personal, it's just the cancer.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: That's a cancer. We didn't mean it. We did mean it,
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: and so this pill, I feel like I've heard There's
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: been a couple of other people that I think I've
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: talked about it. So I'm on immune therapy. I did
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: radiation and then I did immune therapy. But nobody's told
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: me anything about this pill. I want. Is it solely
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: for breast cancer.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: I believe it is just for breast cancer. Yeah, And
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I think they're slowly like opening it up to more
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: people because that's what we want. We call it targeted therapy,
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: so like with chemo therapy, and why stage three typically
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: gets chemo therapy is they're just attacking it all as
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: fast and as hard as they can. But that also
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: attacks like your healthy cells. You know, with targeted therapy,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: it's like I overall, for the most part, can feel normal.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: My like white blood cell cancer messed up from time
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: to time, but it's it's just attacking the tumor. And
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: I think that's what we want going forward for all cancers.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: Is like chemo is so tough on people, but if
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: we can you have a focus, targeted therapy on our
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: type of cancer and had it worked like that's like
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: the end game for us.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: What was the moment that it actually really hit you, like.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: Ough, oh cry ooh.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: I was still like in the middle, like being diagnosed,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: and I just had my mammogram and the medical system
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: is so messed up because sometimes you get access to
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: your chart before your doctor calls you. And so I'd
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: never had a mammogram and I I'm sending the screenshot
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: to my mom and there's what's called the Byrad's score,
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: and I didn't even know to like look that up
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: or know what that meant, and so I sent to
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: my mom, who then happened to send me like the
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: chart of like what a buy Rad score four meant
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: in five and I forget I think it was like
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: a four whatever. It was basically like ninety five percent.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: Sure this is cancer. That's when it like hit me,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: was like that like by Rad score and a doctor
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: hadn't talked to me about it yet. I think for
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: the longest time, I was like whoing on to like, Oh,
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing. But then when I
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: saw like, oh, it's ninety five percent shirt, it's cancer.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: I remember like packing up my LA apartment and just
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: being like I don't even know like where I'm going anymore,
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: you know, like I I my lease is up, I'm
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: supposed to be traveling. I'm supposed to be moved to
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: New York. My insurance Like, what the fuck am I
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: going to do right now?
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Did you have life insurance?
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: I had life insurance?
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, now I definitely don't.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah that guy sign us up. Guys. Yeah, I worked
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: at a bank, so I've done all these like things
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: like in my early twenties, thank god. But yeah, it
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: was just it didn't run in my family. I was
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: thirty four, and it just like came so unexpectedly.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: When you were waiting for different results from scans or
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: things like that, like and you were feeling pretty did
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: what were some of the things that you did to
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: help make yourself feel better? Because like, there's some people
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I talked to and they're like, I just laid I
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: laid I rest And some people are like, oh, I
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: felt totally fine. I was like, you know, I didn't
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: buy my friends over for the next day, and I'm like,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, at a van first of all van whatever you need.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: But I think the thing that made me feel maybe
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: distracted was finding other people's stories, Like I before I
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: shared it publicly the eye breast cancer, I was on
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: TikTok like looking at hashes like breast cancer and finding
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: so many young women also with breast cancer and like
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: scrolling through their journeys and seeing what's going on. And
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: that was when I first realized like, oh, there's actually
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: a lot of young women with breast cancer, you know.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: And so because these women were like my support unknowing
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: lead to them, I was like, I know, when the
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: time comes for me to go public, like that's gonna
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: be my next like chapter. Purpose is like sharing my
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: story in hopes of like helping other people as they
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: navigate like a really shitty time.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: And what made you decide to go Because a lot
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: of people will ask me the same thing. They're like
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: why you know a lot of people don't say anything
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: because they don't want feedback from other people. Yeah, but
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: what made you decide to open up and share?
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: Well, I think for starters, I mean we're public people,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: like we're public figures, I guess is what people would
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: say and it would be so disingenuine to like pretend
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: like I'm okay when I'm not. You know, when I
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: was diagnosed as valid, Like around Valentine's Day, all these
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: couples are posting like my Valentine, my husband, my boyfriend,
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: all these cute things they're doing, all this hearts and chocolate,
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: and I'm just sitting here like knowing I'm about to
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: get the call, which I got the call February thirteenth,
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: the official call, and I was like, I can't sit
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: here and post like, oh, I'm so happy on Valentine's Day. Yeah,
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: I just had to be like so like raw and
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: true to like my life of what's going on and
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: share that. And it's been more healing than I expected
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: because it's the community. I mean, like even talking to you,
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Like when you meet someone who genuinely understands what you're
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: going through, it's so validating, it's so healing, so nurturing
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: and protective. And that's like what I think keeps me
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: going is the community.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would I would say the same, the community
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: knowing that you're not alone. And then also when you
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: talk to somebody that's also going through it, like you
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: just taught me something like I have been avoiding looking
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: at other people that have melanoma, and I've been avoiding
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: that because I don't want to start like self diagnosing.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: But but there is a there is a comfort in
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: that as well, and so that's huge. And then but
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: the goodness is your tumors are shrinking to shrinking.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: Medicine is working. So that's all we can hope for
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: with stage four is you know, as long as it
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: keeps working, we're good. If it doesn't, there's plan B
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: and C and D all lined up. And you know,
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: I've met women in my situation who are even ten
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: years into their metasatic breast cancer. And that's what I
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: hold on to and why I would encourage you to
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: like look for other people in your situation, because yes,
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: there are unfortunate stories that really have you spiraling, but
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: also there's so many good stories that like give you
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: hope and keep you motivated. Like that's going to be
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: mean ten years, I'm going to be celebrating ten years
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: of life from now.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: And how has it been with your husband, because I
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: mean you got married after you found out, And how
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: how have you guys been communicating? Because I know that
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: when I was hospitalized or when I've been going through
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: things like my friends, people I've dated, my ex husband.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: He's not my ex husband, but my my what do
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I call him? Guys?
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: He's a life partner, he's.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: My my, my baby dad too that we're not together,
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: but you know, it is what it is. I would
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: I wasn't on my best behavior, like I'd be like snarky.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's very valid. I'm also in medically induced menopause,
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: and so with that comes a lot of emotional swings,
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: and I think in the beginning Jeff wasn't familiar with
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: that obviously, and we had to have very just like
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: transparent conversations of like, I might be a bit right now.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: It's my emotions, it's my hormones, it's not you. And
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: we've had to figure out how to like navigate that
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: because there's moments where you're so angry, you're so angry
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: with your situation and you're so sad, you're so mad,
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: and then you know, it's easy to take it out
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: on the person closest to you, you know, And I
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: think we had to just really have honest conversations of
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: like how to handle that, and also from my perspective
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: of like letting go of the ego and apologizing because
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: I also can recognize, like, sure, I have cancer, it's
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: not an excuse to be mean to the people in
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: my life. Maybe the heat it I was feeling some
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: kind of way. But now that I'm calm and I
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: have my hot Flash watch on and I'm feeling cool.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: Hold on, what do.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: You get hot flashes? Yes, girl, this is a life changer.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: This is not sponsored.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I was like, this is this is not an ad,
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: but it should be.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, so it's a cooling watch because what a
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: hot flash is and I didn't realize it's it's a
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: brain thing, not like a body. It's not your body.
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: So originally they're like, well you can you can take
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: like an antidepressant, and I tried, but it's it's so
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: intense on your brain. And so what the watch does
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: is it sends a cooling flash to your wrist, which
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: then makes your brain go, oh, you're not hot, You're
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: actually cold, and therefore like kind of cancels out that
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: hot flash.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: I need this.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: I need this all of a sudden, do the link
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: because I swear by it, and like I said, they
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: won't sponsor me. I don't care. I will still promote
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: them for the rest of my life because it works
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: so well.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: I'm on antidepressants right now, but sometimes I feel like
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: they just kind of like like I become a little
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: bit numb. Sure, yeah, and so I'm always looking for
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: ways to expand feeling better.
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: I get that because we take so many pills, and
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: so if you can find like a natural option out
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: of the twenty other pills you're taking, you're like, yeah,
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: that's a win.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: The pills and finding things like did you change your
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: whole Like I mean, some people are so incredible, Like
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: they change their whole diet, they change everything. Meanwhile, like
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I'm having a diet coke because like I need the energy.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: So like, did you do like a full yes? And no.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: I mean you definitely like reflect on your life choices
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: and you're like, where could I be better? Like I
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: knew I wasn't. And this is so dumb because they
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: teach you all the time. I definitely wasn't drinking my
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: eight glasses of water a day, you know, so now
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: I'm like, drink my water. You know. I was drinking
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: maybe more than I should as a little party girl,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: but I still I still will have my glass of wine.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Like people will message me all the time be like
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: sugar this and wine, and you know it's like I
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: get it, but like I also, I just want to
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: live my life, you know, don't critique me on my
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: life choices. Like I'm choosing the way I want to
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: live and feel good about it and do.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: The best that you can.
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, are you did?
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: I read somewhere that you guys are maybe trying to
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: do some IVF or get pregnant. Oh yes, so I
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: went through IVF two, So I fully brutal, brutal, brutal.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: Did you do one round or I had.
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: To do multiple?
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I mean my kids are all older now, but I
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: had to do multiple rounds for my son Cruise.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: And finally the last time, they're like, if this time
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: doesn't work, Oh and that was cruise Cruise.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: That like makes me happy for so many reasons. Yeah.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: So when I was when we thought we were gonna
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: have to go through chemo, I say, we like, everything's
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: like a partner with him. The one thing they're like, okay,
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: well you should probably freeze some eggs because it could
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: impact your your embryos and or your eggs and so
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: we did IVF one time. It was so hard, as
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: you know, I don't like needles, and then they're just
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: I had to have him do it if he wasn't there, Yeah,
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: I have to lay down. I would put like a
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: can of coke like on my stomach to like numb
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: it and close my eyes. I literally have a scarf
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: from like digging my nail into like my skin. I
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: cannot do needles, and like Harry, I'm now getting needles
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: in me every month. But yeah, so we did IVF.
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: Uh.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: We we have two embryos, and so that's when your
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: like story like gives me hope because two things, I
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: will not be able to carry my own baby because
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: of the type of cans right half, which means I
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: have to do surrogacy. And when you only have two embryos,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: you're not guaranteed a success. And so we're really hopeful
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: that when the time comes that we find like a
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: good match for us be a surrogacy, and that that
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: baby takes because right now we only have two and
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: I don't know that I will be allowed to do
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: IVF again because my cancer feeds off hormones and that's
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: all you're doing is giving your pumping yourself with hormones,
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: and so you know, with my treatment working, it's like
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: the last thing you want to do is be like, well,
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: let's reverse that now, you know.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: So two embryos is good to embryos, that's that's positive.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: All it takes us one.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: And I know a couple of my best friends went
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: through surrogacy as well, and they were all successful.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm very I'm very optimistic. I'm hopeful. It's
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: two girls. I just shared them republicly, but I just
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: feel compelled to share that with you.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: So two girls, do you think you would put one in?
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Or two?
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know, Like that's the way to the doctor.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: Ye see what the doctor says.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: See what?
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Like I don't know the health is of our surgus.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Like there's so many that's a whole nother like journey
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: that I'm going to be sharing in the future because
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: it's I don't know, there's so much. And I've been
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: following again other people went through surrogacy, and it's like,
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: you got to find someone under this age, under this BMI,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: who's never had a C section, all these like weird
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: things that I just don't know about yet. They got
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: to be like you know within like I don't know
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: the New York area. Some states don't even allow surrogacy,
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: which which is insane, especially coming from someone like me.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: Like I'm not doing it because I don't want to
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: have my own baby.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: But even if you didn't want to have your own baby, yeah,
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Like it's not somebody else's decision.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: Right, and no one's forcing it, you know.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's I can't understand when people have a
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: problem with that, because it's like, you want a child
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: and we shouldn't be judged on how that happens. Yeah,
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: I mean I was even judged for doing IVF.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: People do not understand.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: It, Are you serious? Like it is the most is brutal,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: It is hard, and I have friends who have done
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: multiple rounds five VF and never even gotten a numbry.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: I'm not a doctor, no, No, I mean it's it's
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: all the same essentially.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what's something you wish people better understood about supporting
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: you through this journey?
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think because I've been so public about
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: my feelings, people are doing a really good job at
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: figuring it out. I do think people look at me
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: and just assume I'm okay. You know, they're they're like, oh,
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: you don't look sick. You don't look like a stage
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: four cancer patient, you know. Or they see me going
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: out and they're like, you're fine, you know. And I
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: think what people need to really remember is like cancer
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: isn't a competition. It's not who has the worst you know,
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: treatment or the worst type of cancer. Like the cancer
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: club just sucks, regardless of like stage zero, stage four,
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: It all sucks. And so just really trying to continue
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: to stay supportive and not like minimize someone's experience.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think minimizing someone's experience. And then but how
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: do you feel when someone comes up to you that
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: you don't know and wants to talk to you about it?
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: I'm I'm happy. I'm always happy to talk about it.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: I will typically like cry. They'll be like I'm following
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: your journey, and I already like know where this conversation
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: is going, and I'll just get emotional with them. But
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: I love it. I want to share. I know people
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: like you and I, as we continue to share our
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: own experiences is making a difference. And I always say,
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: like turning pain into purpose and you may never know
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: the impact you might have on someone. But I can
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: say very confidently you have saved somebody's life, you know,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: And I think that makes I don't want to say
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: it makes this worth it. But if there's someone to
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: have cancer, I feel glad that it's me. I know
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: that sounds like such a weird thing to say, but
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: like I have a platform of women that I can
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: like educate, I have a career that allows me to
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: like continue, you know, at the pace that I can
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: do so, and I have a supportive husband and lifestyle
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: and it, you know, it's cancer sucks, but like I'm
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: I'm happy it's me and not someone else who like
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: you know, can't leave their job or like doesn't have support.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: How did your did your sex life change?
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Girl all ran to be honest, it's sorry, Jeff,
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: I don't know the last time we had sex right now.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: You're like, I don't know. It's no longer two times
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: a week, three times a week.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's like there's just so much changes with
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: my body, especially with menopause, Like things are not the
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: same down there, and that's something I'm still trying to
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: figure out what to do. And then of course he's
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: like very sensitive to like I don't want to hurt you,
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: you know, and then like even like the breast and
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: I'm like, they'll touch the breast.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: You watch Dying for Sex?
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: I made it maybe twenty minutes into it and I
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: could not watch it. I did you watch the whole thing?
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: I watched almost the whole thing. Oh, how did.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: You feel about that?
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: Well?
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I mean there are parts that I could totally see myself,
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: like the part where like she's like, all right, I'm
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: going to try to watch a porn and then she
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: doesn't realize she's videoing herself and she ends up selling
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: the porn. Yeah, Like she thinks she's just going online
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: to look. But so she goes online, finds like a
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: porn or someone to chat with or something like that,
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: and as she's watching it, she's pleasuring herself and but
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: really it's recording her. And then all of a sudden
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: it sends out like this is going to be sent
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: out to the world Wide Web, and so she has
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: to call her ex husband and be like.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, oh my gosh. And this is based on a
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: true story. Yes, wow, Because think about.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: The amount of times like we click on the wrong
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: stuff now and we talk about how we are with
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: our phone but I'm like, oh my gosh, but it
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: was I mean, it's heartbreaking, but it also there are
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: things that I was as I was watching it, I
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, I could see this because for me,
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: there's times where I feel like very sexual and there
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: are times where I'm like I can't even imagine going
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: on a date right now. Yeah, I can't even imagine
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: having that type of conversation.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like I like hate that for you, because
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't know how to date in this situation anymore.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: Like I feel very like fortunate to have Jeff. But yeah,
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: I know a few friends who are stage four and
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: they're you know, in the dating scene and they just
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: have to like lead with it up front, and then
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: they come across people who kind of like almost like
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: turn it into like a fetish of like all be
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: your savior or like the hero dating the cancer girl,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: you know, and so you really have to like pick
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: through like weirdos to find like the genuine guy who
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: also can see like, hey, like I'm still me, you know, overall.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Very true, very true, And how has your perspective on
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: life changed? And like even if we go back to
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: like the bachelor days, yeah, or like are there things
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: you look back on it and you're like, wow, I
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: wish I would have done this differently.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: I think the first thing that I noticed right away
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: was like my view on like beauty, because like it's
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: so like beautiful to be alive versus just like to
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: be skinny or like to be pretty. You know, like
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: it's hard to understand or to put into words eloquently,
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: but it's like I find like what's beautiful is like
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: life now, you know, and like I like care less
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: about like a cell you'll light or gate weight gain
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: or whatever, because I'm just like every day I'm just
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: like happy to be here now.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: I view like elderly people like with such like respect
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: because I'm like you made it this far, you know,
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: like you view them and you're like damn, like good
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: for you. You know, like every wrinkle is like a blessing,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: and every child now is a blessing. Like you just
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: view like life almost like you're on like drugs, like
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: or you're a molly. You're like everything it's beautiful now.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: You just appreciate things like so much more and like
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: the petty shit that you like fought about or like
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: grudges you're like none of that matters.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I don't have I don't have the capacity
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: for it. But when you're just talking about like the
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: appearance thing, I was talking to somebody the other day
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: and I want I want to say I feel the
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: same way, like I really want to believe it because
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: I do. But I notice that the thing that I'm
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: hardest on myself about right now is the appearance stuff.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: Like They'll send me a clip from this pod and
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh my gosh, put a filter on that,
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Like I can't even with myself right now, and I
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: find myself being hard on myself, and then I have
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: to have that conversation like yeah, Petty, you're there, you're working,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: you're doing the best that you can. You're beautiful, like
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: like giving myself self like positivity versus tearing myself down
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: because it's easy when you're feeling really low to tear
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: yourself down. Yeah, but you're such I.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Mean, but your feelings are so valid and real and relatable.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Like that's like what you're saying. We all we as
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: cancer and girls, we all go through you know, And
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: it's I think especially people like us who are like
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: on this like elevated platform of like constantly having to
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: see ourselves on a camera, on a photo. It makes
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: it extra hard for sure. And I think I always
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: tell people like cancer is like a practice lifestyle, like
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: practice mindset, because we are going through these like highs
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: and lows, like as much as you could be like,
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: oh my god, you're so positive. See me last night,
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: I was bawling my eyes out here, you.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Know, because that's the thing people will say to me too.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: They'll be like, well, you're up and you're walking and
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: you're doing things. I'm like, you have no idea of
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: what it was like to get there. Yeah, And I
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: my goal is to go one mile. Yeah, Like I before,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: I would honestly wake up on a Saturday morning and
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: be like, I'm gonna run ten miles today. Now I'm like,
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: if you can get that one mile, and I'm really
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: proud of you, Teddy.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's great. What one bite at a
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: time is my motto because same, Oh yeah.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: What's something you wish people better understood about this entire process?
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Hm better understood? I think the biggest thing I pushed
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: now is that cancer doesn't discriminate. I think people always
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: thought like young people don't get cancer, or like cancers
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: are my family, so I'm safe. And it's like you
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: gotta do all your checks, not just your breast but
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: your skin, and talk to your doctor. And I think
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: women are really good about that, or typically are men.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Men.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: If you're listening, go to the doctor.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: Go to the doctor.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Go and get your colonoscopy. Yes, yes, And it takes
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: a while to book an appointment. Yes, it's frustrating, but
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: like it's worth it. You had that you had felt
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: your pain for for a little while in your breast,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: how long before you actually went in? Because I still
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: to this day can't believe I waited with the headaches
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: for so long.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: I sympathize because I had the lump maybe seven months
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: before I got it checked out. Not only did I
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: have the lump, I had a scan, you know those
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: full body scans.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: I got a preneval.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I did too, Yes, And when I got I
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: remember getting the results. And because I had a benign
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: cyst in the past, the I remember the nurse. I'll
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: never forget this conversation because like there's always gonna be
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: a little bit of resent towards her and myself for
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: like you said, for waiting so long, and the way
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: she worded it. I didn't know the word malignancy, Like
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: that's not a word I use. I don't know what
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: that means. I didn't look it up, you know, but
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I remember her saying like, oh, it's probably old scar
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: tissue from your lumpectomy when you're in your early twenties
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: and you're of course looking for like confirmation bias, and
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: you're like, yeah, totally of course not cancer. That's crazy.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: And then like the longer this lump stay and the
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: bigger it gotten, the more painful about I remember looking
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: back at that report and like kind of like copying
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: and pasting it and then learning to sounds so stupid,
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: but learning what the word malignancy meant. And in that
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: report it basically said like, it could be it could cancer.
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: You should get further exploration. Didn't do that. I was
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: not pushed by this, you know. I don't know what
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: her title was, but this person on the phone, And yeah,
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: there's moments where I like really regret not going in
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: sooner because maybe I wouldn't have been stage four, but
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: also yeah.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: It's like I'm the same. I'm like I had the
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: headaches for like over six months and I had self
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: diagnosed myself with I'd be like, oh, you have migraines,
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: now right, you're going to menopause. And then it took
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: me being like on the floor crying, not being able
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: to move, and somebody taking me to the emergency room
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: to go to the doctor.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: And it's crazy because I would also wonder like, had
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: you gone in like that first month if you like,
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: women's health is so downplayed by doctors often like they
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: very well might have said it is a migraine, you know.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: So I agree, like, we can't go back and be
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: like what if, what if? What if? Because who knows
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: even then what would have happened. But that's the thing
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: I try to push women especially, is like push for
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: your health, push back on your doctor, because they're still
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: doctors telling women today like, oh, you're too young for
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: breast cancer, and that pisses me off. And so I
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: tell them, oh, tell your doctor put that in your chart.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: Then see how quickly their tune changes.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And something else that I've mentioned, which I don't
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: know if you've found the same thing is make sure
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: that even if your doctor doesn't tell you to get
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: the other types of appointments, go get them mm hmm,
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: Like you should go get your skin checked.
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, oh I did. I got my skin checked, my
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: colonosk piece next month, and mammogram.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: We gotta do all. I had to go get a
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: mamma grant, Like, we got to do all of those things.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: It's not just and your doctor isn't going to hold
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: your hand and tell you yeah, book all the other appointments.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: They're going to manage what they're managing totally.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: And I wish that. I'm so glad you said that,
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: because it's also like one of those things you like
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: learn as you go, and I wish like in high
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: school they're like, by the way, as an adult, here's
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: some things to look out for, you know, and you
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: don't you don't know. And thank god there's the Internet
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: and social media for like education, because otherwise, how like
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: how are people supposed to know to like?
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: And everybody thinks like, oh, well, I don't I don't
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: need I don't need this because you know, in my mind,
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: I go, why do I need to get a mammogram?
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: I got one seven years ago when I got my
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: boobs done. Yeah, like no, you still have to go
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: back and get it checked. Yeah, Like now that this
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: has happened.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so actually curious about that. Can you with I
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: assume Breston plants.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: Can you do a mammogram or you can still do
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: the mammogram?
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: You ask me, I'm like, I don't know yet because
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: I have my double mistectomy planned in November.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: Oh you do? Are you doing it here?
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: I'm going to go to San Francisco?
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I found a surgeon I really like. But
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: I was like, people, can you still do marragrams? Like,
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm learning. I was like, yo, because
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: so that's something you didn't.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: Tell me before. You're getting a double misctomy. Yes, okay, yep,
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: And so is that two different surgeons? So you have
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: one surgeon that removes and then one surgeon that puts
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: in an implant? Or are you going to get one
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: of my friends has like kind of like a a
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: bar right, oh expander expander?
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, so it all it's all varies, like there's that's
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: a whole complex thing. I am going direct to implant
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: because I'm going to try to stay like my same size.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: An expander comes into play when there's radiation which will
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: shrink the skin or maybe the person wants to maybe
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: have a better, you know, size than what they had,
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: and so you have to expand the skin. So I
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: found someone who is certified as I guess both. I
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: don't know a surgeon. I don't I don't know the terminology,
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: but she can do the removal of my breast and
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: give me my new breasts.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: Did they say that there's Is it the same type
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: of healing as just getting a regular boob job or
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: is it more intensive? Have they told?
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's more intense based on people I've
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: talked to who have had just implants versus the double mestectomy.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: But I've also heard a lot of people saying like
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: their recovery was better than they anticipated. Even my surgeon
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: in San Francisco, she's like, yeah, some of my patients
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: will just you know, go wine tasting like a day
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: or two later. So I'm not like banking on them,
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: but I could. Yeah, people, overall, I feel like it'll
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: be better than I thought. But I'm if I plan
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: for the worst and it's better, then like that's a window.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: And did they say you had to have the double
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: mistectomy or is that a choice?
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: That was my choice. It's very interesting especially a stage four.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: I feel like a lot of us are kind of
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: like pushed to the side of like, well you have
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: it forever, what's the point, you know? And for me,
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: I had genetic testing done and I also have what's
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: called like an ATM genetic mutation, which slightly increases your
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: chance for breast cancer. And so I was just like,
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: I want these off. I want like the peace of mind.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: I don't want any like, I want to do anything
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: I can to like support and so smart. Yeah, and
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: it's like why wouldn't you, you know, And so a
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: lot of people it's like fifty to fifty. Some people
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: are like, my surgeon won't let me. I'm like, maybe
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: that surgeon won't because my my immediate one in New
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: York didn't want to do that. She wanted to do
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: a lumpecto me. And it's like I'll find someone else.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: And I did. And so that's what I tell other people.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: I'm like, maybe your immediate surgeon doesn't want to that
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: doesn't mean you aren't entitled to have one and find
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: someone who will do it for you.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: You have to be an advocate for yourself.
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: What advice would you give to somebody else that's going
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: through this.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: I would tell them, oh, cry again. I'll tell them
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: that the beginning is the hardest and that it gets better.
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: I think people will experience the lowest low that they've
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: ever ever gone through. Like the pain and sadness is
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: the noise of the cry. The way you cried is like,
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know I could cry like that. It is
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: so hard, And I will not downplay that in the beginning,
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: but I I want to tell people like there there
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: is like the other side of it. You know. In
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: the beginning, it's very scary, and there's a lot of
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: unknowns and you don't know what the hell is going on.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: And then once once you have your plan and and
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: once you get through all those unknowns and you have answers,
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: like you start to like figure out what your new
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: life is like. It will you'll will never be the same,
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: that's the truth. And but it gets better and you
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: just got to like do do like you said, like
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: one one little step at a time, and and you
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: get through it, and once you're on the other side
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: of all of this chaos, you're like, holy shit, what
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: a year?
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Wow, we really gonna Yeah, do you have like a
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: bucket list.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, I let me tell you I have a
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: some kind of feel with the phrase bucket list, because
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: the term comes from like before you kick the bucket
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: and people want to go, you know, and I and
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: and now that I'm like stage four, I'm like, I
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: don't want to think like that. And people put this
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: one big item that they want to it's yeah, and
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: and and look if you have one, I don't like.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: This is my own opinion, my own experience and thought.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: It helps me live life. But I don't want to
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: have one big item that I do before I die.
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: I like to have like these little little life moments
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: of like, what are one hundred things I want to
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: do this year? I want to learn to dance with
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: my husband. I want to go rollerblading in Santa Marka.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: Like I want to like remember to like enjoy the
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: little things, you know. And so for me, that's like
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: my version of like not I don't know what to
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: call it a bucket list, but like, I don't want
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: to have one big thing. I want to have a
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: hundred little things that remind me to like enjoy like
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: life because again, happiness, yeah, every day we are here,
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: I'm like, holy shit, I made it another day.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know, is there anything else that
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: you want to share?
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: No, I mean no, I just love having like a
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: genuine conversation with you. It's been great.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: I feel the same way. And for anybody listening, like
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: this is just honestly a reminder go get your checks.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: It's not. I mean we're the fact that we're both
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: able to sit here and have this conversation at iHeartRadio
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: and like be in a studio and do this speaks
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: volumes to why it's important to go get checked because
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: if we didn't. Yeah, so I think that's that's pretty huge. Well,
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: this is this a moment for me. Last question in
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: regards to cancer, when you found out that your tumors
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: are streak or when you get good news, Yeah, do
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: you do any sort of like celebration.
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: Or I didn't even have a chance to. Like when
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: I got my it was a I think it was
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: a PET scan, maybe CT scan, I don't know. It
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: was a bunch of scans. The results came again through
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: my chart before I like, I'm in my uber on
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: my way home and the results already in and I
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: just like read it like I didn't care. I was
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: like I have to know. And then obviously my husband
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: were celebrating and crying, and yeah, I don't think I've
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: done anything to celebrate. The hope for us both is February.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: We were in Hawaii. We were supposed to be having
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: like a little vacation together. We hope to kind of
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: get to redo that vacation as our celebration that like
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: things are going well. He's also recording his Netflix special
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: in December.
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: Nice so to release the name or he just announced
• 44:29
  Speaker 5: it today actually yeah, yeah, yeah, So the title of
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: his comedy special is called Unscripted because he's.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: Like he does crowd work, but he also is a
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: comedian and he has written material. But he just announced
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: his tour dates and then I'm sorry, I just have
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: to brag about him. He also announced today that he's
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: donating one dollar for every ticket sale to BCRF, which
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: is a breast cancer nonprofit.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: So like, this seems like a really good guy.
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: I had a date thirty men on TV only to
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: find my husband through my dms. But you know, whatever
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: gets me there. Yeah, I thought I was going to
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: be a comedian, and so I started following other comics
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: and he was one of them. And then one day,
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: hold on.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: You're not being a comedian.
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, come on, can you imagine now, Like
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: I'm on stage ready to like say, like the punchline,
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, hold on, my cancer is kicking in.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: I just lost the momentum. But there's a lot of
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: new materials obviously to think about when it comes to
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: like this next chapter. But he is the comic, and
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: I'm happy to be the supportive wife and hear the
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: jokes in the works.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: This makes me so happy.
• 45:39
  Speaker 4: I love that.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, now we got to talk about a little bit
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: of reality television.
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: Oh I know, okay, I know, I know.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: I wanted to get the the hard part out at
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: the beginning. But always, for anybody that's on reality television,
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: talking about reality TV that you've been on, if you
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: could change one thing about how you were portrayed.
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: Oh gosh, I don't know. There was this big there
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: was a big fight that happened with me and his
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: name was Greg. Anyone who watches the show, they know
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: exactly what I'm talking about. And honestly, knowing, my manager's
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: laughing in the background, knowing obviously, like how things happened.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: I just wish I didn't take it so seriously. I mean,
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: I think producers would hate to hear that, because you're
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: supposed to fall in love and get engaged and stuff,
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: and when you're in this little bubble of reality TV
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: and it was COVID at the time. I was just
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: so devastated about this guy who I met three weeks
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: ago leaving, you know, and this fight, Like I just
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: wish I was just like more chill, just more like. Again,
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: producers would have hated that, but I regret like taking
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: it so seriously. Again, maybe it's the cancer knowing everything
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: I know down like that was just a fun little
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: moment of time.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: None of it, None of it mattered, you know, none
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: of it really mattered. Yeah, do you watch any other
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: reality television?
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'd be curious to know if you do, because
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: once you're in it, it's like it spoils the magic
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: a little bit. I know too much now, and so
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: anytime I watch something, I'm like, I know what's going on.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: Minus Traders. I do enjoy watching Traders.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: Okay. So if you could be on Traders with one housewife,
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: oh my god, and you can't pick me, God, I
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: know you're dying too.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: Oh my god. Okay, do you know the ones who've
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: already been on it?
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: Yes, I can correct you.
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: Well, can you tell me their names and I'll know
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: when you say it? Derenda?
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, I think she's coming back on it this season, right,
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: that makes sense? Yeah, she was amazing, she's coming back
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: on Yeah, dang, you missed it. So now you got
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: you got to pick somebody that hasn't been on it.
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: Maybe just keep bringing her back. I don't know. They
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: always choose a housewife though, So.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: So you don't watch housewives? I don't any Bravo shows.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: No, No, I don't. I to be honest, I actually
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: don't watch a lot of like TV or movies. And
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: my husband hates it because I can't even hold my
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: attention for like forty minutes into a movie.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: So what do you do if you have a full
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: down day?
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: A doom scroll? Like, be honest, I'm just on social
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: media looking at cats, dougs. What is shopping? My phone
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: is my like lifeline to entertainment, and maybe that's what's
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: ruined me. Maybe that's why I can't watch TV because
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: even when I'm watching like reality TV, like I try
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: to watch Love Island for a bit, I'll still be
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: like half watching half on my phone.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, I watch Love Island.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: Okay. I do appreciate a one hour episode. And if
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: you're if you're staying on top of it, it's it's
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: pretty manageable.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: It's pretty manageable, except for then you miss a couple
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: and then you're like, that's what happened. I couldn't do it.
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: I was in Greece and I missed like a week,
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: which meant like five to six hours of show, like
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: the show, and I was like, I can't do that anymore.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: No I have. Now I'm just going to watching like
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: old shows. Well, I always you know, I watch Housewive
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: because I recap it. Yeah, so I watch all the
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: different franchises there. But when it comes to other shows,
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I gotta watch old shows. So I know
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: I have like seven seasons. There's no rush. Yeah, but
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to get into Yellowstone.
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: I've heard great things. I just finished Handmaid's Tale, which
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: is a little morbid, but I binged that that. I
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: did enjoy that that series.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, so that'll be my next one. Did you watch Onreal?
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: Okay? I watched a few episodes when I was fresh
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: off the Bachelor, and it was actually so similar to
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: what I experienced, minus like I don't know the murder
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: or whatever that part. But I was like, oh, I
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: couldn't watch it. And at that point I was new
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: to reality TV and I was I was just a
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: contestant on The Bachelor, so I didn't even fully experienced it.
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: But I was like, I can't. I can't relive my
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: trauma via scripted television. But it did pretty I think
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: it was written by a producer that you used to
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: be on the like, yeah, be on the show. So
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: she did.
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: A great job.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: And you never did Bachelor in Paradise. No.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: I showed up once as like a guest, a comedic guest,
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: which was such a flop. But my ex fiance was
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: on Bachelor in Paradise and that's of course why they
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: then bring me in. And but I think I did
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: it great because I I showed up and then I
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: did my little part that I was supposed to, which
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: was like a roast, plus the like you know, hey, Blake,
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: how you've been? And then I was like, I.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: Hold on, I remember.
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: The Canadian guy, the Canadian wildlife guy. Yeah, it's a
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: great guy, but you know it didn't work out. Yeah,
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: but he's still he's very supportive. Still, we both speak
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: so highly of each other. And even seeing him on
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: the beach in Paradise was fine. I think people was
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: that weird. I'm like, this is how we met.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: I felt, it felt yeah. And also when it's done,
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: it's done. Yeah.
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: And then the produce so I was in my hotel
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: and the preachure like what if you like came back
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: and maybe because I was single at the time, like
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: I don't know, what if you guys came back and
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: I was like, nope, I didn't part. I showed up,
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: I clocked in, I clocked out, clicked my paycheck, and
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: I'm gone.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: You're like, I'm out. I'm not.
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: I'm not playing into whatever storyline in this in this
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: series anymore. So I did f Boy Island, though I
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: don't know if you know that.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: Do I need to watch it?
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: No?
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: Sorry if any of my prettish are listening. But what
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: I loved about it is there's a money element, like
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: a prize element to it. And so in reality TV
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: with American laws, if there's prize money, you can't produce
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: like people because it impacts the outcome of like who wins,
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: Like it's like cheating the system. And so it was
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: way more fun to do f Boy Island because there
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: was money, and so a producer like, go have fun,
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: go play you know where it's like The Bachelor, it's
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: a little more, you know.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: And how long does the f Boy Island film for?
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: I think it was also like maybe three weeks?
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: Three weeks, yeah, And then how long is the Bachelor
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: and the Bachelor Atte film for?
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: I think it was like six weeks, but we were
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: it was COVID season, so I feel like I think
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: it might normally be like eight weeks, but because it
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: was COVID and there was no trap fast when you
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: really think about it, and might I add you, actually
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: it's six weeks total, But that doesn't mean I spent
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: six weeks with the guy I got engaged to. I
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: probably spent combined over that six weeks twenty four hours.
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: And that's just me rounding up with the guy I
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: got engaged to. It was a cool u of like
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: one to two dates.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: Maybe how many people did you bring into the what
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: fantasy suite? The fantasy suite?
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: Mine was a weird season because like two guys basically left,
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: which is how embarrassing for me as the lead? Like,
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: oh shit? And then the two guys I had left
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: one love you justin, but like he was never going
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: to be in that overnight situation, and so I like
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: let him go before the overnight situation. The fantasy suite,
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: I should call it, And so I had one and
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: it was it was Blake. It was Blake. Yeah.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So after you finished The Bachelor, how did it
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: come about that you want to become the bachelorette or
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: did you just kind of fell in your lap and
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: then you were like I gotta do this.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: Well I don't know if you're like familiar with it,
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: but typically like the top four are the girls considered,
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: and I, if we're talking like a ranking, was eleventh place.
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: So I thought, at best I would get invited to
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: Paradise and I probably wasn't gonna go. I was gonna
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: go back to my bank job. I was like, nah, whatever,
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: I did it. I did my thing. It was fun.
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: I'm out. But when I got off the show, the
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: producers were like, hey, just like stay single. You know,
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: they don't because it's not a guarantee, you know, but
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: you know you're up against some other women with like
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: interviews and I think audience reactions too, and so to
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: be honest, I was I was not expecting to become
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: the Bachelorette, given like the ten other women quote ahead
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: of me who were just like so beautiful and so
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: worthy of being the bachelorette. And also my season with
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: Matt James, he was the first black bachelor, So it
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: was such a conversation about like people of color, and
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: so to pick like eleventh place White Girl, and then
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: Chris Harrison had just been fired, it was like it
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: was a whole thing. It was a whole mess. And
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: so when I was asked, it was like, like how
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: could I say no? Like it's such a great opportunity,
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: but it was not like welcomed fully because it was
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: such a shocking pick as like eleventh place White Girl.
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: So but of course I like, selfishly, I'm like you,
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say yes. I'm not going to turn it
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: down because the franchise had thirty years of missteps that
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: I have to like help them look good, you know,
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: like I'm going to say yes to my opportunity. It's
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: not my fault the show took this whole time to
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: have their first black Bachelor, you know. So, yeah, I
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: was surprised I was picked. I think they were hoping for, like,
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: I don't know, some like progressive audience to come through,
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: because the Bachelor really is like the Bible Belt. It's
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: very like crazy enough conservative audience. But then it's like,
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: but the girl has three overnight dates and gets marri
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: like engaged in like three days, you know, yeah, like you,
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: we'll pick your lane. So when I did it, it
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: was like you either like loved me or you hate me.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: And so I still experienced that to this day.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: Me too.
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you got to be polarized to be remembered, so
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: love me or.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: You hate me. Well, thank you so much for joining us.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: We really appreciate it. And if people want to follow
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: you so they can continue on with your story, where
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: do they do? So?
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: Instagram is probably my go to and it's at the
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: Katie Thurston.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: At the Katie Thurston follow her.
• 55:21
  Speaker 4: Thanks