Latest / How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva / Happy Hour with Tina: Surrendering Control, Solitude, and Why Don’t we Dance More?

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Happy Hour with Tina: Surrendering Control, Solitude, and Why Don’t we Dance More? · How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hey there.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: I'm Dana Marie Ariva, host of How Hard Can It Be?
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: And I'm here with my bestie of over forty years
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: for another happy hour withifteen.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Except I forgot my booze, but look you forgot hers. Yes,
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: someone has a menopause brain.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well, misery loves company, so I'll see you there.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I could be putting proseco in
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: a mug.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: You can?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: You can't can? Because why have those.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Travel coffee mugs for my car? Yeah? Yeah, sometimes coffee
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: is not in them. I'll just be honest.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Not when you're driving though, former owner of a driving
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: school passenger. Come on a roady okay, Oh my god.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: So today we are recapping a phenomenal episode with my girl,
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Judy Reyes.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: And we love her from Scrubs.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: We love her from the revamp of Scrubs, and we
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: love her from High Potential, and we just love her
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: in general.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Did you not?
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: I did?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: I did. I had a very identifying moment with her, okay, which,
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: as you know, I've always had this and I'm changing
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: my words, and this is thanks to Bonnie Hammer and
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: not fear of being alone, but choosing choose choose to
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: be alone. So if there is a fear in your life,
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: if you change the wording to make it a positive
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: where I am choosing next week to be alone a
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: few days by myself. Don't think I'm not scared. I am.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: But I'm going to do it because you know I
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: don't do that.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Now, you do not?
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: I don't. Yeah, I don't know how to not talk
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: all day long. I don't know. Help you not have
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: anyone in the room to communicate with. And I'm going
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: to be watching the dogs in Nashville, a dog sitting
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: next week in Nashville. My friends are coming on Wednesday,
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: but I go on Monday.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, so you lasted two days until you have a
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: caravan showing up.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: You got it.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: You got it.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: It's progress.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, progress, that's okay, baby steps. I'm proud of you.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: But I love when she said sitting in your power,
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: and I went, I'm gonna sit in my power and
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: feel confident that I don't have to fill up the
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: room or twenty four hours of time with conversation. Yes,
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: And the other.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Goal is to Tina facetiming and he's just saying, I'm bored.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Do you want to drink.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Yes, you know it's coming. By the way, we might
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: have to meet at the bar.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: We might have to meet at the FaceTime bar. Yes,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: it's right.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: But I'm going to try to not inundate myself with
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: social media technology as well. I'm really gonna try because
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: that's what I'm worried about. I want have anybody to
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: talk to. So what am I gonna do? Phone? iPad? TV?
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: H I mean you can't, but you can.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: You can watch good movies exactly, watch series like unless
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: you're going in a cabin in the woods and doing
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: some writing. I don't know why the fuck you wouldn't
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: want to just take a TV.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not that you know. No, I'm not that donated.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, obviously I'm not that disconnected. But I love that.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: And she said surrendering the control. And I'm going because
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: we all like to control everything. Yeah, that's what we do,
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: especially as others. And I'm just gonna surrender to my
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: quiet time. Oh. And you know what, It's funny what
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: I used to pray for this. I used to manifest
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: and wish when I was working one hundred hours a week,
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: and I would say, you know what, I wish I
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: could just go somewhere and do nothing or sit or
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: have the opportunity to do nothing. I want to wake
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: up one morning and not have a schedule.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, you're it is.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Okay, you're gonna have forty eight hours of a no schedule. Yes,
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: do not fuck us up. Okay, don't fuck this up.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: You've you've got to, you gotta because I agree I
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: have those. I'm actually talking to to Sophie, my daughter,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: about this, about how when she has a window of
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: time in her schedule that finally opens up with her
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: studies and her work, don't shove something in there because
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: you think you need to be doing something else, because
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: then it cuts to her stress and burnt out and
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: not knowing how to handle all that. And that is
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: something that if you are in the habit of doing,
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: you do that for.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: The bulk of your life. And so do you know
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: how to just stay still?
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: I've been doing that for the bulk of my life.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I know you have.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: And ultimately I think gen X women have. We're the
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: regents of go go go and resourcefulness, and mothers are
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: like that too, and if we aren't actively p suing
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: or working on something, we're wasting valuable time.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: That's in our brains. Yeah, it's just the way we've
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: been We've been brought up that way.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and resting in that power, resting in that quiet
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: is powerful.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Like Judy says, it used to be that if you
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: were not doing anything, that you were lazy.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: What about her her whole discussion on the freestyle movement
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: when she's she and her husband George wrote this freestyle
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: of love story play and it taps into the movement
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: back in the eighties of the freestyle music, all those
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: incredible artists of that day, in that time, that decade.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: This is what came to me immediately. Okay, we all
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: need to dance more. Oh what happened to dancing? We
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: don't dance enough.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Great question.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: I've been saying that for years.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: And we used to be able to go out and
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: find places to dance.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's gone.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: And by the way, we went to all girls Catholic
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: high schools and we had dances.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: We had a multitude of them a year.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: I didn't miss one dance.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I didn't miss one either, and it was it was
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: kind of great that in going to an all girl
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Catholic high school, we got to ask. So it wasn't
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: like you were left behind because you didn't get asked.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I'm going to this dance because I get to ask,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: you know. And it was so much fun and those
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: I remember, you know, the hair being that big, and
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: the hot pink and the ruffle and this, you know,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: all those sounds and music. And I told her Cincinnati
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: didn't have that big freestyle movement like they went through it,
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: but it was playing on our radio waves for sure. Sure,
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: And I agree with you one hundred percent. It was
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: one of the most joyous pastimes getting together to dance.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: It was so fun and I just I'm listening to
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: this going. We need more of this, Yeah, we need
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: more of this across the country. We need to have
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: more of these events or more establishments where it's okay
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: that you want to go somewhere and dance.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: And so many of the movies back in our age generation,
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: like they would they were about dancing or getting ready
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: for that big dance. Yes, Oh do they dance? Did
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: gen zs dance? I don't mean, like I know they don't. Bablo,
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: who's not a gen Z, He's like he's like, I
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: don't know, I'm a young millennial. I don't know, but
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: I do. But you think about our kids. The only
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: dances they went to is like if there was a
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: prom or a. But when they went out on weekend nights,
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: they don't go dancing, didn't dance. We did in college too,
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Remember Burgundy's, Burgundy's, Burgundy's. That was a lot of fights
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: in there, but we went and we danced until the
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: fight broke it up and closed it down, and then
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: out we went.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: There was another one called was it cats or fat
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: Cats or Oh?
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I don't remember, but I will say that I remember
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: when the drinking age changed to twenty one, we were like,
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: we don't and we missed it by like six months.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: We're like, we don't want it. We didn't even care
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: about drinking. We just wanted to be able to go
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: in and dance.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: We didn't dance there, That's all we wanted.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know what, we're going to have a
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: party next Christmas and we're gonna get a dance party.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: We're just gonna it's gonna be a dance party.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Yes it is.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: The Silver Disco Ball is gonna be yeah, hanging Yeah.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: I love them all right, love that cheers to dancing
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: cheers to dancing ching, How hard can it be? With
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: the anamade Ariva is a hyphen It Media group production
• 8:40
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• 8:44
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• 8:47
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