Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #735 Beck Delahoy - Why You Need an Activity Jar

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#735 Beck Delahoy - Why You Need an Activity Jar · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers now.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: All this week on the Happy Families Podcast, I'm doing
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: my best to have a no devices, no work holiday
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: break with my family. As a result, we've brought in
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: a special guest. Beck Delahoy is a former researcher. She
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: now writes about parenting rather than her niche field of neuropsychiatry.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: She's a homeschool mum raising her three kids in Melbourne
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: with a husband of seven years. And you can find
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: out more about Beck with her substack Bechdelahoy dot substack
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: dot com. We'll link to that in the show notes.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Hello everyone, I am Beck Delahoy. I have been working
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: with Justin behind the scenes for about a year now
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: and he's very kindly offered me a chance to talk
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: on the podcast. So here I am today. Just a
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: few things you need to know about me. I have
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: three kids, so I raised in Melbourne with my husband
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: of seven years. I am a recovering perfectionist. I was
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: a bit of a high achiever at school and well
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: having kids that's forced me to let go a lot.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I still like to do things well And the second
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: thing you need to know is that I consider myself
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: a fun mum during the long COVID lockdowns, and believe me,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: in Melbourne they were long. I set up an activity
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: jar so that every day we could pull out an
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: activity and have something fun to look forward to. And
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: ever since the tradition has just kind of continued through
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: our activity jar. I've taken the kids to the farm,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: to the beach and to the museum. We've gone dandelion picking,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: and taken our bikes to the BMX track with even
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: gone puddle jumping. That's why I have blown the dark
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: gum boots. But sometimes I can get so caught up
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: in planning the fun that I miss out on the
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: fund that's already there. A few weeks ago we were
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: having a relaxed day. We didn't have anything planned, so
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: once I'd gotten through the housework, I started checking in
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: with the kids every half hour or so asking if
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: they were ready to do an activity from the jar. Surprisingly,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: they kept saying no. They were busy building a cubby,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: then playing with cars, and then throwing a burrito around
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  Speaker 1: a toy burrito. I'm a fun mum, but I have limits.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: We don't do food fights anyway. So I put out
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: my laptop, got through some work, and I just let
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: them be. Come late afternoon and I'm starting to get bored.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I've gotten through my work. The house is decently clean,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: considering I've got three kids who often make mess quicker
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: than I can tidy it. But we've been home all
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: day and we haven't done anything fun yet. We haven't
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: chosen had activity to do, and if we don't start soon,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: we'll run out of time before I have to start
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: on dinner. I'm just about to really push my kids
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: to stop playing so you can pick an activity, when
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I realize how ridiculous what I'm saying in my head is.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: They were already having fun. I was just too busy
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: planning my fun to notice their fun. I put the
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: activity jar back on the bench or it belongs. I
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: stepped outside and I watched them. They mixed together a
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: bucket of mud. Then they took off all their clothes
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: and coated their whole bodies in mud, telling me that
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: that's just what you do when you live outside. Apparently
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: they live outside now anyway. So I quickly ducked back inside,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: pulled out towels, and set everything up inside for a
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: clean transition to the bath. And then I joined in.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I got my hands muddy, just my hands. We have
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: neighbors who do not need to see me covering myself
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: in mud. Then I hoed them down with a sprinkler.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I threw mud back at them when they splashed it
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: onto me. We laughed, We enjoyed the moment, and we
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: all went inside together at the end to get cleaned off.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Having fun with your kids doesn't need to be pinterest
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  Speaker 1: perfect or instaworthy. It doesn't need to be pre planned
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: or pre booked. When we set aside our plans, we
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: can join them in their spontaneity. Their fun can be
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: your fun too. Give it a go. Watch your kids
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: for ten minutes, see what they're up to join in
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: and I hope you have so much fun. And if
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: you've enjoyed today's podcast, I want to hear more stories
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: like it. Please check me out on Instagram and substack.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: That's at bech delahoy b E c K D E
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  Speaker 1: l A h O y on Instagram and bechdelahoy dot
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  Speaker 1: substack dot com on substack. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: that and keep tuning in. Thanks guys, Bye.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: I hope you really enjoyed Beck's ideas. You can read
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: more from Beck Delahoy at Bechdelahoy dot substack dot com.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: I've been a really big supporter and fan of what
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: she's been writing. I think she's doing great work and
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: her voice is valuable. Becks back again tomorrow on the
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Happy Families podcasts.