Latest / Podcasts By Donna Jodhan / Remarkable World Commentary Episode #65: Interview with Jilla Bond, Life Coach
Transcript
- 0:13Podcast Commentator: Greetings. Donna J Jodhan, LLB, ACSP and MBA,
- 0:19invites you to listen to her biweekly podcast,
- 0:22Remarkable World Commentary.
- 0:24Here, Donna shares some of her innermost thoughts,
- 0:27insights, perspectives, and more with her listeners.
- 0:31Donna focuses on topics that directly affect the future of kids,
- 0:35especially kids with disabilities.
- 0:38Donna is a blind advocate, author, site loss coach,
- 0:42dinner mystery producer, writer, entrepreneur,
- 0:46law graduate, and podcast commentator.
- 0:49She has decades of lived experiences, knowledge,
- 0:53skills, and expertise in access technology and information as someone who has been
- 0:59internationally recognized for her work and roles,
- 1:02she just wants to make things better than possible.
- 1:07Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Remarkable World Commentary.
- 1:14I'm Donna Jane Johnson, a lifelong disability advocate and one who
- 1:19sees the world mainly through sound, touch and stubborn optimism.
- 1:25I am a law graduate, accessibility consultant,
- 1:29author, lifelong barrier buster who also happens to be blind.
- 1:35You may know me from a few headline moments.
- 1:38In November of 2010, I won the Landmark Charter case that forced the Canadian
- 1:45government to make its websites accessible to every Canadian,
- 1:50not just to sighted ones.
- 1:52And in July of 2019, I co-led the Accessible Canada Act with more than 20 or 2 dozen
- 2:00disability groups to turn equal access into federal law.
- 2:06And most recently, on June the 3rd, 2022, I was greatly humbled by Her Late
- 2:14Majesty's Platinum Jubilee Award for tireless commitment to removing barriers.
- 2:22When I'm not in a courtroom or a committee room or a pottery studio,
- 2:28you will find me coaching kids with vision loss,
- 2:32producing audio mysteries, or helping tech companies to make their
- 2:37gadgets talk back in plain language.
- 2:43Everything I do circles one goal to turn accessibility from an afterthought into
- 2:50everyday practice. I invite you to think of this show as one shared workbench for
- 3:00policy meets, lived experience and lived experience sparks fresh ideas.
- 3:07Now, before we jump into today's conversation,
- 3:12let me shine a spotlight on today's guest, a change maker whose work is as every bit as
- 3:20remarkable as the world that we are trying to build.
- 3:25Jilla Bond, my good friend, my mentor, my advisor.
- 3:29Welcome to my Remarkable World Commentary.
- 3:34Jilla Bond: Thank you. I'm very pleased to be able to be here with you.
- 3:38Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Great. So let's get started.
- 3:43You've described your working life as a mosaic of different careers and roles.
- 3:52But if a listener were to ask you who is Isabella Bond professionally and personally.
- 4:00How would you introduce yourself and that mosaic journey in your own words?
- 4:10Jilla Bond: Well, my life started very well, but my education was not such a big success.
- 4:18So in the era that I grew up in, a long time ago education for girls was
- 4:25pretty limited. Unless you were very, very bright.
- 4:29And you could go on to get a degree.
- 4:31And I did not fall into that category.
- 4:34So I left school young with very little confidence.
- 4:39And that really influenced very strongly my early life.
- 4:45My parents were older and my they were not in a position to pay any further fees for me.
- 4:54And so I went to a what would be now known as a business administration course.
- 4:59And I did that. And that led me to go to work in different offices.
- 5:04And my career, the reason I call it a mosaic is because the jobs that I have done have
- 5:13been very varied, because basically I went to work.
- 5:17I obviously applied for jobs and was interviewed and so on.
- 5:22But I didn't necessarily go into one sector and try to stay there.
- 5:28So if something sounded interesting and sounded different,
- 5:32then I would apply. So it meant that I worked in the periphery of politics.
- 5:38I opened all Margaret Thatcher's mail when she was first elected as leader of the
- 5:42opposition. And. That ranged from working in advertising companies and a variety of
- 5:52different roles. So it led to the role that took me into working with the Transatlantic
- 6:02Alliance and the British North American Committee.
- 6:06And I learned there how to organize conferences and events,
- 6:11and that became very valuable in a later, at a later date.
- 6:16But I also met people from academia, from senior business people from the trades
- 6:25unions movements. And I've always been fascinated by people.
- 6:30So that really was a big springboard for me.
- 6:35That happened coincidentally through me just taking random jobs so that I could pay my
- 6:41way.
- 6:43Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Wow. One of the big creative landmarks in your story is your work on that
- 6:52international design conference in Montreal.
- 6:57Can you take us inside that project?
- 7:01What the design was, what you actually did to bring it to life and
- 7:11what those years taught you about the power of design?
- 7:18Jilla Bond: I will view design was something that I tumbled into by coincidence.
- 7:24I knew some people who were putting on an exhibition of Canadian art and design,
- 7:30and to get government funding they needed to do,
- 7:33they needed to have a conference, and they were looking for someone who had had
- 7:42experience in organizing conferences at a reasonably high level.
- 7:46And as I just explained, that was one of the jobs that I'd had
- 7:49previously. So I took on the role as conference director,
- 7:54but I knew nothing about the world of design at that time,
- 7:58and someone introduced me to a very prominent designer in Montreal and I said,
- 8:03well, if you were doing this, who would you invite?
- 8:07And they gave me a list of people I think they intended me to choose from that list.
- 8:14But in reality, I contacted all of them and nobody said no.
- 8:20So when they arrived at the conference, they were all wondering because they all
- 8:26thought they were coming as the keynote speaker and why all the competition was there
- 8:32too. But what was fascinating was there were people from design,
- 8:38the world of design, of wallpapers, of interiors,
- 8:43of. Go karts for children, bicycles, Children.
- 8:51And there was one particular person who fascinated me because he was designing a
- 8:58wheelchair for children and he had gone into.
- 9:06An home where he could meet the children who needed wheelchairs.
- 9:12And he sat down with them and said, what would you like?
- 9:15And they all said they would like something that was like a Porsche or a fancy car.
- 9:21So when he came to design his chair, he made it into something much superior to
- 9:28any other wheelchairs that had ever been made,
- 9:31and much more exciting, so that the children could race around a
- 9:34playground within the wheelchair so they could play with their friends.
- 9:39And what I learned from being in the world of design was not only at a personal level,
- 9:46a very pleasant discovery that I was quite capable of organizing such a keynote event,
- 9:53but that design is fundamental to making people's lives better.
- 10:01I think many people view design as something visual,
- 10:05something that may enhance surroundings.
- 10:10You look at, as I said, wallpapers or beautiful statues and things.
- 10:16And I would suspect I'm not alone in thinking,
- 10:20having thought that design was primarily to do with just making beautiful objects.
- 10:28But this really taught me that excellent design,
- 10:32and particularly engineering design, learned to use new materials in new ways.
- 10:39And I started to find that absolutely fascinating.
- 10:45Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Alongside all of this, you trained and practiced as a life coach?
- 10:52How did your experiences in design, policy, health and caring feed into the way
- 11:01you coach people? And what kinds of crosswords or transitions do people tend to
- 11:09bring to you?
- 11:14Jilla Bond: Well, by the time I trained as a life coach many years had gone by of experience in
- 11:20different fields, doing different things, including via design,
- 11:23but many other things as well.
- 11:26And what I learned from all of it and my my approach to life coaching,
- 11:32which I use very regularly but not on a formal basis anymore,
- 11:38is very much to listen very carefully to the people around me or to the person whom I'm
- 11:46trying to of to whom I'm trying to offer assistance and understand what their real
- 11:54desires are and where they want to go with their life,
- 11:57and then to with a little bit of careful questioning,
- 12:01try to guide them in a way and build up their confidence so that they themselves come to
- 12:07the right conclusions.
- 12:09Because I don't think there's anything to be gained by imposing ideas onto people.
- 12:18You need to encourage them to think through what their real aims are and maybe get into a
- 12:25discussion. What is it that you really want in this particular change of field,
- 12:30or whatever it may be that you're doing?
- 12:32And this lesson about the fundamentals of design and finding the right materials to
- 12:38make the best solutions for design, and being innovative and thinking of new
- 12:43ideas certainly fed into my work as a life coach and certainly into my working career.
- 12:53Because the life coaching really came out of building companies at a later date.
- 12:58I joined the Via Design Italian lighting company,
- 13:02and when I first joined them, they were just turning over,
- 13:06I don't know, £300,000.
- 13:07And then we built it into a company at the very sharp end of design that was turning
- 13:13over 4.5 million. So but to do that, one of the things I'm most proud of is we had
- 13:19very little turnover of staff.
- 13:22And I think the reason we had very little turnover of staff is because we were very
- 13:27careful to be very respectful and to treat people and to listen to them if they had
- 13:33complaints or had things that they wanted changed,
- 13:36and to really talk through whether we could make it happen and if we couldn't make it
- 13:40happen, explain to them very clearly why, in a very rational and reasonable way.
- 13:46And I think that is the way to help people move forward with their lives,
- 13:51is to help them see it more clearly and help them find the purpose that is going to take
- 13:57them forward.
- 14:00Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: That's very true. I mean, you know, it's very Yeah.
- 14:06Very true.
- 14:09Jilla Bond: You need to always put people at the center.
- 14:12Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Yes.
- 14:13Jilla Bond: You must work with what people are telling you and then try to work out from that.
- 14:19If you make that the fulcrum of the discussion and then work out from that and
- 14:24explore different possibilities.
- 14:25And some they may reject and some they may like.
- 14:28Right. Fundamentally let them make their own decisions,
- 14:33because if you're imposing things, it will never work.
- 14:37Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: That's true. That's true.
- 14:39You've often said that your deepest Passions include young adults and older people,
- 14:49fairness and freedom, and of course, people and good organization.
- 14:55When you look across your life, how have those passions guided your choices
- 15:02even when you were changing sectors or taking risks?
- 15:10Jilla Bond: I think whenever I've moved into a company, I think it's fair to say I'm I'm not a
- 15:17shrinking violet. Should we put it that way?
- 15:20So when when I've moved into a company, I've always needed to find some people with
- 15:27whom I could collaborate strongly.
- 15:29And you find people who are really well organized,
- 15:33but you also understand that it comes back to.
- 15:39The question of really being in tune with the people around you.
- 15:44And the reason I am fascinated by young people is because I had a very difficult,
- 15:50well, not very difficult in comparison with some,
- 15:52but in my world, not an easy adolescence and early adulthood.
- 15:59And I think it was because I lived in an era where people were trying to impose upon me
- 16:08ways of doing things without looking at me as a person and seeing my personality and
- 16:14realizing that trying to put me in boxes was never going to work.
- 16:20I was going to wrestle my way out.
- 16:22So I like to get into discussions with young people I like because of the lack of
- 16:29confidence that I had.
- 16:30I like to do anything I can to build their confidence,
- 16:33to help them, to feel that they can definitely make a good life,
- 16:40even if they've had a difficult beginning.
- 16:42And I think at the other end of the spectrum,
- 16:46I think older people can very quickly be discarded.
- 16:50I think they can. People are often, sadly not slow to put people into homes.
- 16:56And I had a slightly feisty discussion with a person at a function one day and they were
- 17:04saying, oh well, her parents were going to do this and were going to do that.
- 17:08And I just very quietly said, is that what they want?
- 17:13Because I think people are who've lived long lives and often had very interesting lives.
- 17:18They may not have had remarkable lives in the bigger sense of the world,
- 17:23but they will all have, through the course of their lives,
- 17:26done interesting things, and they shouldn't be dismissed.
- 17:30They should very definitely be treated with the respect that everyone is due,
- 17:36not just older people or younger people, but everybody.
- 17:40And so I feel very strongly that older people should be listened to and communicated with
- 17:48in a way that works for them with respect and understanding,
- 17:53and they usually have very interesting stories to tell.
- 17:58Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: I can certainly confirm this with my own mom.
- 18:00I mean, like, you know, she has so many stories to tell.
- 18:03And then she often says to her caregivers, you know,
- 18:07if you get to my age, you'll be darn lucky.
- 18:09So let me pass on my knowledge to you.
- 18:11My advice to you like, don't think that you know it all.
- 18:14And I don't know anything because I'm old.
- 18:18Jilla Bond: You know you have it in a nutshell.
- 18:20Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Yeah. So.
- 18:23Jilla Bond: And people, I'm sure the caregivers and I know some of them have been absolutely
- 18:27wonderful, and some of them could probably learn from the ones that are absolutely
- 18:31wonderful. But I.
- 18:32Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Agree.
- 18:33Jilla Bond: They have a tendency to do too, rather than do with.
- 18:37And I guess in life, If you do with people and not do to them,
- 18:43you will get much, much better results and you will have a much richer feedback and
- 18:48interaction.
- 18:50Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: I agree, I do agree. After many years of Christmas cards and long distance connection,
- 18:59we have had that big reconnection in 2009.
- 19:04In 2019, when you drove me from London up to Windermere and on to Liverpool.
- 19:14From your side of things, what stands out about that trip,
- 19:20both as a driver and as a sighted guide for a blind friend?
- 19:28Jilla Bond: I think well, one of the key lessons for me was the first night that we stayed in the
- 19:35little hotel where you were going to the chess tournament,
- 19:38And I came to meet you to go down to breakfast.
- 19:44And I walked into your room.
- 19:45And of course, obviously there was no light on.
- 19:49And I went to turn the light on.
- 19:51And it was a very strong lesson for me in the world that you live in.
- 19:56And it stayed with me throughout all our many trips that we've done since that,
- 20:02and that something I take totally for granted is something you don't,
- 20:10but you take your life for granted without that.
- 20:14And I think it was a great eye opener.
- 20:19And I don't mean that as a pun, but it was for me.
- 20:21It was an eye opener to to realize loud and clear some of the key differences.
- 20:28And I think I've said to you several times, every time you've come on a trip,
- 20:32something new has struck me of The challenges that you face on a daily basis that I don't
- 20:41because I can see and that's ranging from how you pack a bag,
- 20:47how you always turn out for the day, and color coordinated clothes.
- 20:51I and they're clean and they don't have any marks on them.
- 20:54And I'm always very impressed with the smaller details of things that we would take
- 21:01totally for granted that obviously for you, you've had to find a way to negotiate those
- 21:08situations. And in our most recent trip, I remember feeling embarrassed because I'd
- 21:14forgotten to put the card in the key slot to put the lights on,
- 21:19and when I needed to use the bathroom, I had to go and put the card in the slot
- 21:24because I couldn't see in the bathroom without the light on.
- 21:28And I think those kinds of experiences bring home the world that you're living in.
- 21:35I also learnt to look very carefully at the things I find interesting and that I liked,
- 21:42and to start to talk to you about them.
- 21:44And when we went to meet your family in Liverpool,
- 21:47I took a propitious moment to tell you how tall they were and which ones laughed the
- 21:53most and what they looked like, and to try to add some color to the picture
- 22:00that you were experiencing.
- 22:02So I think it was learning to try to live my life in,
- 22:08not live my life, trying to support our trip,
- 22:12to make it interesting for you to try to add some of the color of the things I could see
- 22:18that you couldn't.
- 22:21Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: I don't think I'll ever forget when we went to Liverpool and the family came and they all
- 22:26stood in a circle around me and I thought, oh dear God,
- 22:30what do these people look like?
- 22:31And you were quick to the, you know, quick on the ball with it.
- 22:34And he told me, you described it to me, described them to me,
- 22:38and it helped. It really did help, you know.
- 22:42Jilla Bond: Well, I think yes. You can't.
- 22:44I mean, you get a huge amount from hearing someone's voice.
- 22:47Yeah. But and you are very quick and, you know,
- 22:51people's voices and you're very good at remembering. I think your memory is
- 22:54absolutely phenomenal.
- 22:55But I think it's only fair to be able to say this one's tall,
- 23:01that one's thin, and this one's not with not being rude in any way about them,
- 23:06but just to give a paint a paint a bit more color into the picture so that you can
- 23:13experience more the way we would.
- 23:17Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Right. Not long after my law school graduation in London,
- 23:24you drove me to Normandy so that I could honor the soldiers who fought and died there.
- 23:33What was that journey like for you, navigating Berlin's
- 23:42cemeteries, beaches and history with me alongside you,
- 23:49using a white cane?
- 23:54Jilla Bond: Well, again, I learned that long drives, which I love and because I watch the world go
- 24:01by, are excellent moments for you to take a snooze,
- 24:06because obviously you don't have the interest value of seeing the countryside going by that
- 24:12I do. So the first thing I think I really understood was whilst this was a wonderful
- 24:19journey and I really enjoyed it too, because ironically,
- 24:21it was something I hadn't done and it's a very moving and emotional thing to do.
- 24:26And it was just after the big anniversary and it was very it was full of feeling and
- 24:36emotion and very a very colorful and deep experience.
- 24:45I also I mean, you were very, very moved by it,
- 24:49and that affected me as well.
- 24:52And we managed to go to the different beaches,
- 24:56and we had that incredible walk through the Canadian cemetery,
- 25:00which was very, very impactful, very emotional too.
- 25:07And yes. And then we I think it was Juno Beach that we went to and the parking lot was
- 25:16full and there was a sort of cafe at the end,
- 25:18and it was lunchtime, and we felt we needed a little something.
- 25:21And I saw the hotel across the road and I said,
- 25:25you know, I think we can go and park in the hotel over there.
- 25:27So we went over to the hotel and I remember saying to you,
- 25:32do you like oysters? Oh, yes.
- 25:35Said to you, I haven't had an oyster for ages.
- 25:39And it also. So there were it brought home to me to be
- 25:48sure to look at every detail of where we are and what we're doing,
- 25:54and to try to bring it to life for you.
- 25:57So I think I became more observant and trying to pick out the really salient points of the
- 26:07places we were visiting and the things we were doing.
- 26:12And because I'm your eyes and I need to think in terms of
- 26:22telling you what's on the menu, telling you exactly the choices are not
- 26:26picking out the ones I think you might like, but giving you a general and genuine overview
- 26:33of what what is available for a sighted person so that you are getting as close to a
- 26:40sighted experience as you can.
- 26:42So whether I'm describing the sea or the sand,
- 26:44or how the guys must have been going up this immense length of beach under fire,
- 26:51or whether we're sitting down to have a meal because it's lunchtime and just being sure
- 26:59that you know what the options are and not just picking out 1 or 2 things that I think
- 27:03you might like. And as we get to know each other better I can as we have become to know
- 27:10each other better then I can say well oh they've got these or they've got that.
- 27:16And then knowing that those are the kinds of things that you would like.
- 27:19But to begin with it was much more exploratory and to push boundaries because if
- 27:27you if I don't tell you that there are oysters and mussels on the menu.
- 27:31You won't know and you'll probably choose a sandwich or something.
- 27:35So I think I think it's thinking that extra mile to try to bring.
- 27:47The cited options, opening them up for you as well.
- 27:53I think the fact that we were driving through the villages with all the flags hanging from
- 27:59the lampposts, and the fact that the flags on the lampposts had pictures of the people
- 28:04who'd been killed during the D-Day landings.
- 28:08And those details are not letting them go by without bringing them to your attention.
- 28:15Even though it's emotional, it adds to the color of what we're doing.
- 28:19And I see it as trying to paint color into your Canvas.
- 28:29Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: You certainly did. And I will never forget that trip.
- 28:33You know, when I set out that time with you to visit Normandy.
- 28:38I'm not sure what I was going to what I expected,
- 28:42but I certainly got a hell of a lot more.
- 28:45And you certainly helped by, you know, describing stuff by telling me
- 28:49stuff, by inserting, you know, what you saw,
- 28:54what you heard, what you felt.
- 28:56And and it really, really has left a lifelong mark on,
- 29:02on my life. And I want to thank you for that.
- 29:06Jilla Bond: Oh, believe you me, it did it for me, too, because we covered quite a lot of
- 29:09ground.
- 29:10Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: And yeah.
- 29:11Jilla Bond: I mean, the other aspect of it too is there's never a lost good.
- 29:15And in describing it to you, it made me pay attention more so that I
- 29:22benefited more from what we were doing and what we were seeing and the places we were
- 29:30going to. And I remember taking a they had a big mural on the wall of one of the beaches
- 29:35we went to, and I took a picture of you underneath it,
- 29:39and so that you could show it to your friends.
- 29:41And it made me look at that mural much more carefully.
- 29:46So it's it's a double edged sword.
- 29:48It means that I take in much more detail because I'm not really a detail person,
- 29:56and it makes me take in more detail than I would normally.
- 29:59Which is. Which is lovely.
- 30:01It's very beneficial.
- 30:03Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: I think sitting here listening to you now brings back a lot of those memories,
- 30:07especially going through this cemetery.
- 30:09And and you know, you describing the the Canadian headstones to me.
- 30:15You know, it really brings back a lot.
- 30:17Yeah. Yeah.
- 30:20Jilla Bond: And remembering to to to taste the Produce of the areas that we go to.
- 30:27Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.
- 30:29Jilla Bond: You know, little glass of cider or a nice glass of wine to go with the oysters and the
- 30:33rules. And, you know, it's because I'm lucky enough to live very
- 30:39close to these areas, I can I may not have been to the beaches
- 30:43specifically, but I can certainly tell you what the local produce are.
- 30:47And this is a local cheese, and this is these are local biscuits and
- 30:51those kinds of things which I think add flavour and add to the experience of any
- 30:58trip.
- 30:59Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: It does, it does. You sometimes talk about learning to speak dementia.
- 31:07For our listeners, could you unpack that phrase for me?
- 31:12What does speaking dementia look like and feel like in a real conversation with someone
- 31:22whose memory and Reality may be very different from yours.
- 31:30Jilla Bond: It's back to what we were saying earlier in the conversation.
- 31:34It's working. I mean, with everybody with dementia,
- 31:39everybody's dementia is individual.
- 31:42And dementia is, as most people would understand,
- 31:45is an umbrella term for many different conditions.
- 31:51And the learning to speak dementia really is learning to be able to communicate with
- 32:00people who are living with dementia to whatever degree they are able to do.
- 32:08And it's not straightforward.
- 32:11You need to find a common denominator in a way and to understand that person.
- 32:18Maybe if they have a carer or somebody who's around them more regularly,
- 32:22or when I was doing the caring.
- 32:24You learn to understand what their minds can still.
- 32:36Process and some of it is describing things.
- 32:42Some of it's keeping it very simple and not getting fussed or cross or upset.
- 32:49Just because you can't communicate or you can't understand.
- 32:52Just keep starting again, but with very simple sentences.
- 32:57Very not in a not in a baby talk.
- 33:01I have a horror of people who talk to older people with that.
- 33:07Are you all right, Mary?
- 33:09Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- 33:11Jilla Bond: These are human beings who've led rich lives,
- 33:14and it's so disrespectful.
- 33:17And so I think learning to speak dementia is finding a common denominator through which
- 33:26you can communicate. And one of the best ways to do that with people with dementia is
- 33:32songs, singing and music.
- 33:35And if particularly if you can find music that has meant something to them during their
- 33:43lives. So for my own mother, for example, musicals,
- 33:50and suddenly, out of nowhere, she would be able to sing songs from
- 33:53musicals.
- 33:54Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Oh, wow.
- 33:56Jilla Bond: For somebody whose ability to communicate was very limited by the end,
- 34:01she was well over 100.
- 34:03So it's not surprising, but.
- 34:04Right to be able to have that common denominator of both knowing the same song
- 34:11from a musical meant we could communicate together at that particular moment by singing
- 34:18that song together, and that creates a warmth for them and it creates a warmth for you,
- 34:23particularly if it's someone you're close to,
- 34:25like a mother or a father or a relation or a friend.
- 34:32If it's someone you're working with again, you're building a rapport,
- 34:36you're building trust, you're building.
- 34:39I mean, there was a lady that I worked with for quite a long period of time.
- 34:44I was with her for nearly two years, just covering two days a week.
- 34:47So the other, the the regular carer, could have a time out.
- 34:52And she never knew my name, but she beamed like a beacon when I came
- 34:58through the door, because she knew my voice and I would come in with a cheery hello and
- 35:05how are you today? And she would just greet me with this massive smile,
- 35:12and it set us off on a very good, a very good note for the two days we were
- 35:17going to spend together.
- 35:19So it's really a question of getting to know the person you're trying to communicate with.
- 35:27Speaking dementia, in my mind, and I think to be honest,
- 35:30that's probably the basis of most of my communications now,
- 35:35is trying to understand and trying to listen to people,
- 35:38but really hearing them and hearing what they're saying.
- 35:42And if you hear some distress, either you move it on.
- 35:46If it's not something you can help with, or you let people talk it through.
- 35:50So I think for me, it's learning to communicate with people with dementia,
- 35:57but not trying to not just by speaking louder.
- 36:02You know, some people, when they feel they're not being understood,
- 36:04just speak louder. Yes, you really need to go back and start again
- 36:10and try to find a different common denominator.
- 36:13And learning. Great patience.
- 36:16Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Yes. Yeah. A lot of patience is needed, but I think too many of us often think that
- 36:24when we speak louder, the person will hear us.
- 36:27And sometimes my mom would say, don't yell at me.
- 36:29And I. I catch myself and I say, I'm sorry.
- 36:33You know, I didn't mean that.
- 36:35But, you know, that's a natural reaction, right?
- 36:39Jilla Bond: And I think also it's very easy to get frustrated.
- 36:42Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Yeah.
- 36:42Jilla Bond: Because you're trying to communicate something that isn't perhaps getting the
- 36:47response that you had hoped for and you get frustrated.
- 36:52We all do it. You start again with a bit louder.
- 36:55You do it with children too, you know, voice going up.
- 36:59They don't stop when you first ask them.
- 37:01You know, you find yourself very quickly the voice going up a little bit.
- 37:06And I think it's a great life lesson to just stand back,
- 37:09take a deep breath and start again on a different tack.
- 37:13Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Yeah.
- 37:14Jilla Bond: And try a different way of getting the message across that you wish to communicate.
- 37:21Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: We have been traveling together since 2022, and the one thing that is a highlight for me
- 37:29was the day you walked across the stage with me when I graduated from law school.
- 37:35Tell us briefly, how did you feel walking across that stage with me?
- 37:44Jilla Bond: Well, very proud of you for a start.
- 37:46Thank you. I think it's absolutely remarkable the the studies that you've achieved,
- 37:52the exams that you've passed.
- 37:54I'm always lost in admiration for anyone who passes an exam because I've not.
- 37:59It's not a talent I've mastered.
- 38:02I was very touched by Princess Anne, who registered that you were unsighted and
- 38:10actually took the trouble to speak to you and say,
- 38:13congratulations, Donna.
- 38:15And I thought that that was very I mean, obviously she was well briefed,
- 38:20but she'd remembered and I thought that was very impressive.
- 38:24I was delighted for you and trying to be as inconspicuous as I could,
- 38:30because it wasn't my day.
- 38:32It was your day. But you just needed my guiding hand.
- 38:35That was all. But it was a very proud moment,
- 38:38I think. I think certainly something I've never done in my own right.
- 38:43And so it gave me a chance to experience something I wouldn't have known about
- 38:47otherwise. Well.
- 38:51Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: I think I was absolutely blown away by this voicing.
- 38:54Congratulations, Don. And then it dawned on me,
- 38:57that must be Princess Anne.
- 38:59And I thought, oh, dear, you know.
- 39:03Yeah.
- 39:03Jilla Bond: She's a remarkable woman, though. She definitely is.
- 39:06Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Yeah, yeah.
- 39:08Jilla Bond: But I thought that was that was very much an example of how polished she is And I was
- 39:16briefed and how she remembers.
- 39:19That was good. Now I'm very proud and I'm glad we made it into a celebration.
- 39:24I'm glad we did all the things that that everyone else was going to do.
- 39:30Had a little glass of champagne and so we should.
- 39:33Yeah, that was a great day.
- 39:35A very brilliant day, because it's not your first degree either.
- 39:38I mean, you know, you're an old hand at that now.
- 39:43Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Oh, I think it's time for me to stop, though,
- 39:45because it's, it's it's getting a bit, you know,
- 39:49tiresome in ways I need to enjoy life in many other ways.
- 39:52But I think we we have a we have a big trip planned next year.
- 39:59And as the clock winds down, I wanted to ask you what tips,
- 40:06suggestions, hints or thoughts would you like to share with our listeners with regard to if
- 40:12someone was thinking of going on a trip with a blind slash sight impaired person.
- 40:20What are some of the thoughts you would like to share with them?
- 40:26Jilla Bond: Don't be. Don't be afraid of doing it.
- 40:30I think some people would.
- 40:33Well, obviously it depends very much who you're going with.
- 40:36Yeah, I think obviously we can never put ourselves into your shoes.
- 40:43But I do think that by giving it some serious thought,
- 40:47if I. If the roles were reversed, what would I want to happen?
- 40:52What would I want to experience?
- 40:54If it was me that was unsighted and someone was kind enough to go with me?
- 41:03I would want to laugh.
- 41:05I would want it to be fun.
- 41:07I would want to know all about what's on the menus,
- 41:11what drinks we can have Of when we're having a nice little cocktail in the evening.
- 41:17What different cocktails that can be, what different foods there are.
- 41:21I would want to know as we board a train, you know,
- 41:26to to go and find the people who will give us assistance and make sure they do.
- 41:31And genuinely, I think that for me, it's always do as you would be done by so
- 41:40try. Although it's so difficult for a sighted person to put themselves in the shoes of
- 41:46somebody who has lived without sight.
- 41:49Luckily for me, you had that moment when you had functional vision.
- 41:54So you. I can describe things in colours and you know what I'm talking about.
- 41:58But we've built a relationship now whereby if there's something you're not sure about or if
- 42:04there's something you're not keen on, you say,
- 42:07and we work it out. But that would be my main tip,
- 42:12I think what we have found is some countries are much better than others at being
- 42:18considerate. I think the white cane is very helpful.
- 42:22It may be a little annoying to have to take it all the time,
- 42:25but I do think it gives other people a chance to know that they can be helpful by giving us
- 42:34a wider berth, by not jostling, by helping with not being afraid to ask for
- 42:40help. I remember that famous day when we were in Budapest trying to get on a train.
- 42:47Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Oh yes.
- 42:48Jilla Bond: And we had two reasonably large bags, and we were at the bottom of the stairs and
- 42:54there was no lift, no porter, nobody around,
- 42:58and the people behind the counters were really rude.
- 43:01I went to try to get some help, and the only option was to look for a nice,
- 43:08strong young men and say, excuse me please, will you be kind enough to
- 43:12carry our bags up? And we have never, ever had someone say to us.
- 43:18Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: No, no, no, no.
- 43:20Jilla Bond: We had 1 or 2 young people who very kindly put our cases on the train and up on the
- 43:27racks and where they were supposed to be, and said when they when we got to the
- 43:30destination, they were going to the same destination,
- 43:33they would come back. They forgot it didn't matter.
- 43:35We found two other young men who were very kind and took the cases down for us.
- 43:41But I think, don't be afraid to ask, right.
- 43:46I think you can ask the authorities.
- 43:50When we book the trains, we always tell them that we would like
- 43:53assistance. Please make sure, see what is available.
- 43:59And if there isn't available, then you find other kind travelers.
- 44:03And by and large, people are very kind.
- 44:06Yes. I don't think we've ever had anyone really refuse Refuses?
- 44:10Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: No, never.
- 44:12Jilla Bond: I mean, we were unfailingly polite to them, and we thanked them graciously.
- 44:15But I think be brave and just ask total strangers to please be helpful.
- 44:24And in my experience, they always are.
- 44:28Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Absolutely. I mean, don't be afraid to ask.
- 44:30And, you know, we've traveled by train.
- 44:32We've traveled by air.
- 44:34We've traveled by on the riverboat cruises.
- 44:37The next year, we're planning a cruise to some very interesting places.
- 44:45And I'm looking forward to this because it's going to be a longer cruise,
- 44:49much more for you to describe for me and much more fun.
- 44:55Jilla Bond: I think also, I know that the interview is with me,
- 44:58but I would like to suggest, can you say what it is that you find helpful
- 45:05from traveling with me?
- 45:06What is it that I've got right, and what are the things I could do better?
- 45:10Because I think really that's more important than my observations is how has it worked for
- 45:16you?
- 45:18Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: It has worked fantastically well in that you are very observant.
- 45:23Most times I've not had to ask you for something.
- 45:27You said to me, would you like this?
- 45:29Would you like that? And you've been very observant of knowing what I like,
- 45:35what I don't like, what I'm not comfortable with.
- 45:39And I think for someone who is sight impaired,
- 45:41they need to reach out.
- 45:44It it goes both ways. It's not just about the sighted person.
- 45:49Assuming I have to tell you what I think, I would not,
- 45:54I think, but what I would like, what I wouldn't like,
- 45:56and honestly, I can't think of anything that you could do better.
- 46:01I mean, we've grown over the last four years.
- 46:05I, I'm just amazed amazing how well we've worked together like both when we are in
- 46:13London. London at your house and when we've been traveling.
- 46:17And I'll never forget our trip to Lourdes.
- 46:21When we were in the church and you said to me,
- 46:23I think we should go and get a blessing because everybody's at the top of the the I.
- 46:29And I said, sure, sure.
- 46:30Let's go. Got to the top of the island.
- 46:33The lady shooed us out of the church.
- 46:36She said, it's a wedding.
- 46:39And we laughed at it.
- 46:41Jilla Bond: Yeah. Once we got out of the church, we laughed because there was absolutely
- 46:45nothing to suggest that it was a wedding.
- 46:47There wasn't a bride in a bridal ground or ground gown,
- 46:50and there wasn't a one couple that I could see that were different from anybody else.
- 46:54Yeah. But you know, it was not they were not particularly welcoming,
- 46:59shall we say. No, no, that's for sure.
- 47:01But one thing that you've made me think of that I have taken on board is that a lot of
- 47:10travel involves being with big groups, and that is something that you're not
- 47:15particularly comfortable with.
- 47:17Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: No I'm not. Yeah.
- 47:18Jilla Bond: So we we do try to well we don't try.
- 47:24We make sure that we interact with small groups of people.
- 47:28Maybe a couple, maybe the same couple could be two people traveling together or a couple.
- 47:36But to keep the group small so that you can get to know the voices and get to know the
- 47:40people, and not just to throw you into a crowded room and wander through the crowded
- 47:46room thinking you can pick up on conversations.
- 47:49Because certainly from a sighted viewpoint, when you're doing that,
- 47:54you pick out people that you think you might have something in common with,
- 47:58and you try to talk to them.
- 48:00But this is this is something that I've definitely noted It and made sure that for
- 48:06the last 2 or 3 trips, we don't try to interact with more than a
- 48:10couple or at most four people.
- 48:13But that's even that's a stretch.
- 48:15And the other thing I think we do, which I think is really important,
- 48:19is we take a break from each other in the afternoon.
- 48:22Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: That's right, that's right.
- 48:24Jilla Bond: So it gives a little bit of time to breathe, and you can do the things that you want to do
- 48:30and that you customarily do at that time of day.
- 48:33And I go off and either have a walk or I go and take a book or lie on a sun deck,
- 48:40depending on where we are and what we're doing.
- 48:43But I think to take a break in the afternoon for two hours is because otherwise it's too
- 48:48intense for everybody.
- 48:50Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: But you know something? I didn't have to tell you this.
- 48:54You just picked up on it right away.
- 48:58You, you know, like, you knew right away that we needed that break and the two hour,
- 49:02you know, I, I think it was a very, very important.
- 49:06And I think we've worked well together and as friends we've grown together.
- 49:11And I'm looking forward to next year.
- 49:14Jilla Bond: Well me too. I think we're going to some really interesting places,
- 49:18and I think I'm glad that you feel that it's it's something that's evolved.
- 49:24And after every trip, we we Well, I reflect on how it's gone and
- 49:32where we've been. And there have been I mean, there was one trip in particular which became
- 49:36complicated, but that wasn't our fault.
- 49:39It just was circumstantial.
- 49:42And it was just we ended up out of sync, not with each other,
- 49:49but in the sense of the travelling plans.
- 49:52And it just made it all a bit stressful and complicated.
- 49:55But other than that, I can't think of a real hitch.
- 49:59But I do think that it's really helpful to take a little bit of time apart.
- 50:05Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: And you don't panic. I've never seen you panic.
- 50:09Never. Yeah.
- 50:12Jilla Bond: It takes too much energy to panic.
- 50:14I'm too busy trying to work out how I'm going to get out of something.
- 50:17Yeah, I'm fortunate, inasmuch as I've.
- 50:21Because I have had a very chequered life and I've travelled a lot.
- 50:29I guess you do get into a situation whereby you take what's coming in front of you and
- 50:37work your way through it.
- 50:39It's it's the only way to resolve things.
- 50:43Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: And I've learned a lot as well, you know?
- 50:45Jilla Bond: Yeah. No.
- 50:49Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Go ahead.
- 50:49Jilla Bond: No.
- 50:51Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Go ahead. Sorry.
- 50:53Jilla Bond: I was just going to say I had a little bit of practice because my mother ultimately lost
- 50:56her sight, too. So. She she.
- 51:00Not to the full extent, but she had macular degeneration.
- 51:04So thinking about it, I guided her quite a bit and took her to the
- 51:08Great Wall of China. And so, yes, over the years,
- 51:13I think I've built a lexicon of hopefully trying to help make travels fun for people.
- 51:21I think that's the bottom line.
- 51:24Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: You've made it lots of fun for me over the last four years.
- 51:27I mean, we've traveled many places.
- 51:31You know, we've gone to Lourdes, we've gone across Europe now.
- 51:36Next year we'll be doing something very interesting and exciting.
- 51:40And I want to thank you for this interview.
- 51:43I think listeners would be really intrigued and they will learn a lot from your own
- 51:49experience. So thank you very much.
- 51:51I appreciate it.
- 51:53Jilla Bond: It's been a total pleasure.
- 51:54And if I had to put it into a nutshell, I guess it's try to put yourself in the shoes
- 51:59of the person you're trying to help.
- 52:01And I think that applies in all walks of life and in all manner of trying to add a little
- 52:08bit of positivity in the world.
- 52:11But I've really enjoyed talking to you. I enjoyed traveling with you, and thank you
- 52:15very much. As you know, I was very doubtful that this would have
- 52:19enough interest for your listeners, but I very much hope it does.
- 52:23And look forward to seeing you in the summer.
- 52:26Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Yeah. You say hi to Doug and Ro and the little girls and Kahlua.
- 52:31Jilla Bond: They're coming to stay tomorrow night, so it'll be fun.
- 52:33Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Okay. Merry Christmas to you, and we'll talk very soon.
- 52:37Jilla Bond: Merry Christmas, Donna.
- 52:38Thank you.
- 52:39Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Take care. Thank you. Bye. Bye bye.
- 52:44Podcast Commentator: Donna wants to hear from you and invites you to write to her at Donna at gmail.com.
- 52:50Until next time.