Latest / Rock My Finances / More Money… But Still Uncomfortable? Here’s Why - Money Manifestation Chapter 9
Transcript
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- 0:39Speaker 3: Welcome to the Rock My Finances show on k FORHD
- 0:43Speaker 3: Radio and Talk for TV, where we put the fund
- 0:46Speaker 3: in finance joint powerhouse Jeffer josp CDFA CMC and Private
- 0:52Speaker 3: Wealth Advisor as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
- 0:56Speaker 3: control and confidence with your money, your web. It's not
- 1:00Speaker 3: about the zeros. So what is it all about? Let's
- 1:03Speaker 3: find out now. Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
- 1:09Speaker 2: Welcome back, So glad you're here.
- 1:11Speaker 4: This is our money manifestation theories, And today we are
- 1:16Speaker 4: talking about more money but still uncomfortable. Hmmm, why is
- 1:21Speaker 4: that happening? This is chapter nine. To go back and
- 1:24Speaker 4: check out all the previous chapters if you missed them.
- 1:26Speaker 4: So why are we feeling uncomfortable? Even though we're doing great?
- 1:29Speaker 4: Money's coming in, We're feeling great, but I still feel
- 1:33Speaker 4: uncomfortable even when I have money.
- 1:36Speaker 2: Here we go, y'all.
- 1:37Speaker 4: It is about feeling safe. It is about our core
- 1:42Speaker 4: truth to our body, our core wounds. So your bank
- 1:45Speaker 4: account can change way faster than your nervous system. So
- 1:49Speaker 4: even when there's more money, our body is still operating
- 1:53Speaker 4: from an old environment. And I actually just recorded a
- 1:57Speaker 4: podcast with Stacy Smith. Go check out that one. It's
- 2:00Speaker 4: your Little Girl is running Your Show? Is your little
- 2:02Speaker 4: girl running your show? Yes, our little children, our wounded
- 2:06Speaker 4: little children, created patterns, beliefs, behaviors on how to stay
- 2:12Speaker 4: safe back in the day, whatever that back in the
- 2:14Speaker 4: day meant for you, and those still show up today
- 2:18Speaker 4: in our daily lives.
- 2:19Speaker 2: Until we can.
- 2:22Speaker 4: Heal that, let that relax, and step into the adults
- 2:26Speaker 4: that we are now and create all new beliefs and
- 2:29Speaker 4: new patterns as well. So reason number one why we
- 2:32Speaker 4: do not we still feel uncomfortable. Your body has learned
- 2:37Speaker 4: possibly that money equals stress. So where this could have
- 2:41Speaker 4: started growing up. Money may have been maybe argued about
- 2:45Speaker 4: in your household. Maybe maybe it was tight, like really frugal,
- 2:51Speaker 4: and it was just no no, no, no no, you
- 2:53Speaker 4: could never get what you wanted, or just maybe inconsistent,
- 2:57Speaker 4: you know, no, no, no no, and then all of
- 2:59Speaker 4: a sudden they go out and spend money on an
- 3:00Speaker 4: expensive bike or name brand clothes or something. Or it
- 3:05Speaker 4: could just been a source of tension around your household
- 3:08Speaker 4: where anytime anybody wanted to buy something or money came up,
- 3:13Speaker 4: you could just feel the tension in the household. So
- 3:16Speaker 4: something it also could have been something that adults just
- 3:19Speaker 4: worried about. You could have been raised with a single
- 3:22Speaker 4: parent and that single parent was just kind of stressed out,
- 3:25Speaker 4: working maybe one or two or three jobs, maybe having
- 3:27Speaker 4: to borrow money from friends and family. So as a child,
- 3:31Speaker 4: you may not have understood the numbers, which you absolutely
- 3:34Speaker 4: understood the energy around money. So all these feelings that
- 3:39Speaker 4: your household had growing up, kids feel that we're literally
- 3:44Speaker 4: creating beliefs around those feelings. And we're creating those beliefs
- 3:49Speaker 4: as five, six, seven, eight year old little people, right,
- 3:54Speaker 4: So we're creating beliefs on the capacity that we had
- 3:58Speaker 4: as a five year old or a six year old.
- 4:00Speaker 4: And so here's a cute little story that I heard.
- 4:03Speaker 4: So there was this little boy always wanted a red tricycle,
- 4:09Speaker 4: just wanted the red tricycle, and the mom would always say,
- 4:12Speaker 4: you know, we're just waiting for your daddy's ship to
- 4:14Speaker 4: come in. Like, we're just waiting for your daddy's ship
- 4:16Speaker 4: to come in. And so the little boy is just
- 4:18Speaker 4: like always looking out the window, just really wanting that tricycle,
- 4:21Speaker 4: which is always asking mom for that, for the tricycle,
- 4:24Speaker 4: and she would say, I know you're going to get
- 4:26Speaker 4: it as soon as your daddy's ship comes in. And
- 4:28Speaker 4: that little boy is just glued to the window every
- 4:32Speaker 4: day and the mom couldn't figure it out, and he's like, well,
- 4:34Speaker 4: I'm waiting for daddy's ship to come in.
- 4:36Speaker 2: So the little boy took that as the ship's going.
- 4:39Speaker 4: To pull up any minute now, and as adult, we're
- 4:43Speaker 4: just saying, you know, he's going to get one big
- 4:45Speaker 4: lucky wind somehow, and the ship's going to come in.
- 4:49Speaker 4: So as little children, could you imagine the misnomers that
- 4:53Speaker 4: we have in our heads and the misunderstandings that we're thinking.
- 4:56Speaker 4: She actually thought money was going to come in on
- 4:58Speaker 4: the bicycle, tricycle was going to on that ship. So
- 5:01Speaker 4: those are the beliefs that we have that we have
- 5:03Speaker 4: to go unpack, excavate, get rid of, redo, heal those
- 5:08Speaker 4: release and create new beliefs. So as a child, we
- 5:11Speaker 4: might not have understood at all. But it could look
- 5:13Speaker 4: anything like parents are arguing behind the closed doors about bills.
- 5:17Speaker 4: Maybe when they were going to be doing the bills,
- 5:18Speaker 4: they went into the bedroom and shut the door, so
- 5:20Speaker 4: that scared you. That meant you were abandoned. When they
- 5:23Speaker 4: were talking about money as well, So that could bring
- 5:26Speaker 4: up stuff right, that could bring up money equals abandonment.
- 5:30Speaker 4: One parent could be criticizing the other for spending too much.
- 5:33Speaker 4: So now you're going to think that I'm not good
- 5:35Speaker 4: enough if I spend money, or if I make a
- 5:38Speaker 4: wrong decision with money, comments like we can't afford it.
- 5:41Speaker 4: Money doesn't grow on trees. What are we supposed to do?
- 5:45Speaker 4: What are we going to do?
- 5:45Speaker 1: Right?
- 5:46Speaker 4: Tension around the holidays, maybe school costs when school started,
- 5:50Speaker 4: we had to buy all the school supplies and school
- 5:51Speaker 4: clothes all of that. School clothes were an issue for
- 5:54Speaker 4: me because I hated shopping and my mom just wasn't
- 5:57Speaker 4: up on things, and we definitely did not do labels
- 6:00Speaker 4: or anything like that. But I always tried to get,
- 6:04Speaker 4: you know, good clothes. So finally she would just give
- 6:06Speaker 4: me a certain amount of money and I would just
- 6:08Speaker 4: go do it. And I was brugal from the get
- 6:10Speaker 4: go because I wanted to have, you know, nice outfits.
- 6:13Speaker 2: So I love that.
- 6:15Speaker 4: Groceries could be it if you have a big family
- 6:17Speaker 4: and you had to go shopping, so you felt it
- 6:18Speaker 4: all the time, weekly buying groceries. Vacations maybe you got
- 6:23Speaker 4: to go on vacations and your friends didn't home repairs,
- 6:27Speaker 4: car repairs, anything like that. Braces. I remember issues around
- 6:30Speaker 4: my braces. Maybe even a parent got real quiet or
- 6:34Speaker 4: even angry or just quiet and withdrawn when money came up,
- 6:39Speaker 4: and you could feel the tension around the money. One
- 6:42Speaker 4: parent could be hiding purchases. I know some of you
- 6:45Speaker 4: are out there. Are you lying about what's happening around
- 6:48Speaker 4: money or lying about what you're spending or not spending?
- 6:52Speaker 4: You might even have been told by a parent, don't
- 6:54Speaker 4: tell mommy, don't tell daddy. You know, that's creating dishonesty
- 6:58Speaker 4: around money. So I could you imagine all these little things.
- 7:01Speaker 4: I've only scratched the surface here, right, There's so many
- 7:04Speaker 4: little things that our children could have learned around money.
- 7:07Speaker 4: Fear around job loss, fear around bills, debts, you know,
- 7:13Speaker 4: accumulating debts. Growing up, we really didn't have a whole
- 7:15Speaker 4: lot of credit card debt, Like it wasn't a real thing.
- 7:18Speaker 4: But it could have been owing a family member something.
- 7:20Speaker 4: Maybe we got late notices in the mail. You might've
- 7:24Speaker 4: heard parents talk about taxes or rent or mortgages. You
- 7:27Speaker 4: could have had somebody sick in your family. Where you
- 7:29Speaker 4: have lots of bills, the children feel tension. We felt
- 7:34Speaker 4: tension as children growing up. Even if no one sat
- 7:38Speaker 4: you down and explained finances to you, you could possibly
- 7:41Speaker 4: feel the.
- 7:41Speaker 2: Room get tight.
- 7:42Speaker 4: Voices change, they go at a different cadence, they maybe
- 7:47Speaker 4: go out of a different volume, maybe silence after they
- 7:51Speaker 4: went and got the mail. So even just getting mail,
- 7:54Speaker 4: it'd be stressful for you. Irritation after shopping because they
- 7:57Speaker 4: had to pay for it, stress before rent or mortgage
- 8:00Speaker 4: was due around the first of the month. Maybe you
- 8:02Speaker 4: had this whole cycle in your household right game around
- 8:05Speaker 4: asking for things like embarrassment not wanting to ask for
- 8:09Speaker 4: something that you really needed. So children learn from repetition.
- 8:13Speaker 4: Money changes people. You could have learned that by you know,
- 8:17Speaker 4: as soon as they start talking about money, they change
- 8:18Speaker 4: who they are. Money brings stress into the room. Money
- 8:21Speaker 4: means something bad is going to happen.
- 8:24Speaker 2: You never know. But we did not learn when it's
- 8:27Speaker 2: a stressful situation. We did not learn calm money conversation.
- 8:31Speaker 2: We did not learn betty financial behavior, possibly, and we
- 8:36Speaker 2: did not learn emotional neutrality. So what does calm look like?
- 8:40Speaker 2: Maybe you might not have ever seen this modeled or
- 8:43Speaker 2: maybe you did. Calm looks like adults is discussing money
- 8:46Speaker 2: without yelling, blame or shutting down, like it's just another thing.
- 8:51Speaker 2: It's just another thing to do. It's not. We're not
- 8:54Speaker 2: panicking around it.
- 8:55Speaker 4: There's we might say, oh, we need to adjust that
- 8:58Speaker 4: instead of oh my god, we're screwed, right, And we
- 9:01Speaker 4: need to look at our own language around this, because
- 9:04Speaker 4: that's the first thing that we can heal is our language,
- 9:06Speaker 4: because it's the easiest thing to hear and see is
- 9:08Speaker 4: our own language. So how many times do you say
- 9:11Speaker 4: I can't afford it or it's not on my budget,
- 9:14Speaker 4: which is why I always say a spending plan, so
- 9:16Speaker 4: it's not in my plan right now, because that gives
- 9:18Speaker 4: you the choice and the opportunity. Making decisions without emotional
- 9:23Speaker 4: explosions would have been a nice thing to grow up with, right,
- 9:27Speaker 4: having structure plans, conversations around what's feeling grounded, Like I
- 9:32Speaker 4: even have my families that I go and visit. They
- 9:34Speaker 4: bring the kids in. We all talk about the money.
- 9:37Speaker 4: We all talk about the goals of the family. If
- 9:39Speaker 4: we have to pay off debt, which one are we
- 9:41Speaker 4: going to pay off first? I even have them put
- 9:42Speaker 4: bills up on the refrigerator and the whole family gets
- 9:45Speaker 4: to go out to pizza or dinner or whatever when
- 9:47Speaker 4: that bill gets paid off. So you bring in the family.
- 9:50Speaker 4: We educate kids from a young age on how to
- 9:52Speaker 4: have good emotional conversation. Maybe there wasn't emotion, it's just neutral, right,
- 9:58Speaker 4: So feeling emotionally neutral around money, it looks like it's
- 10:04Speaker 4: just not automatically loaded with fear or shame or angry.
- 10:08Speaker 4: It's just money. It looks like a number. It's not
- 10:11Speaker 4: like I did something wrong or did something good or bad,
- 10:14Speaker 4: or I need to do something good or bad.
- 10:16Speaker 2: It's just it's just one more thing.
- 10:19Speaker 4: We're gonna have vegetables and meat and juice, and we're
- 10:22Speaker 4: gonna do our bills and we're gonna pay for the mortgage,
- 10:24Speaker 4: and then we're gonna go outside and play like it's
- 10:26Speaker 4: just another thing. So we can look at money without spiraling.
- 10:31Speaker 4: Nothing happens, the energy doesn't change. That's just neutral. It's
- 10:35Speaker 4: just like one more thing, and we can make a
- 10:37Speaker 4: decision without thinking, ah, I'm gonna blow up, I'm gonna
- 10:40Speaker 4: be a failure, or being the not making any decisions
- 10:44Speaker 4: at all, not even looking at their money ostriches out
- 10:47Speaker 4: there right, don't even look at it, don't even see
- 10:49Speaker 4: what's happening. And so that is just being neutral, just
- 10:53Speaker 4: going going with the flow. You have a nice, steady plan,
- 10:56Speaker 4: you have your money's organized, you know what's happening, you're
- 10:59Speaker 4: in control of it. It feels good when you spend
- 11:02Speaker 4: it and give it away. It feels great when you
- 11:04Speaker 4: earn it. You know there's enough. Like all of that
- 11:07Speaker 4: is wonderful, But if your body learned stress or chaos
- 11:10Speaker 4: around money. It learned something could go wrong. Have you
- 11:14Speaker 4: ever felt the other shoes gonna drop? Walking on eggshells?
- 11:18Speaker 4: So here's how it shows up. Now when money's even
- 11:21Speaker 4: in the bank and you have the extra zeros and
- 11:23Speaker 4: you're excited about that, but you still feel a little uneasy. Well,
- 11:28Speaker 4: you often check accounts often, do you pull up you
- 11:31Speaker 4: know on your phone? Do you pull up your apps?
- 11:33Speaker 4: Are you looking at the balances? You can't just fully relax.
- 11:38Speaker 4: You're not feeling just twenty four to seven of joy
- 11:41Speaker 4: if there's something blocking it. You're just kind of waiting
- 11:45Speaker 4: for something to happen. Like people will even say, I
- 11:48Speaker 4: am flush now, I'm in the flow. Everything's great. Can't
- 11:50Speaker 4: wait to see what's gonna happen. And we can get
- 11:52Speaker 4: in that pattern. We can get in the got lots
- 11:55Speaker 4: of money, spend it, lots of money, something's gonna happen
- 11:57Speaker 4: to take it away. We can absolutely get in that
- 12:00Speaker 4: cockap pattern. I've been there, done that. So we want
- 12:02Speaker 4: to crush those patterns. Heal our own wounds, heal our
- 12:06Speaker 4: own patterns, and make sure that we can feel safer
- 12:10Speaker 4: own money. So if you don't feel safe with money,
- 12:13Speaker 4: you might even feel alert around it, so your nervous
- 12:17Speaker 4: system is working overdrive around money. How your body might
- 12:22Speaker 4: feel now, if you've learned that money equals stress, you
- 12:26Speaker 4: might have a tight chest. Take three deep breasts, Feel
- 12:29Speaker 4: into your body, Feel where you feel stress like. I
- 12:33Speaker 4: don't know about you, but I carry it in my
- 12:34Speaker 4: jaw right here. Any of your your clenching at night?
- 12:37Speaker 4: I have my wonderful little retainer that I have. I've
- 12:40Speaker 4: ter all this teeth work. And so do you feel
- 12:43Speaker 4: yourself clenching, crunching? Do you have show slow I'm sorry,
- 12:47Speaker 4: shallow slow breathing where it's just or even fast shallow
- 12:51Speaker 4: fast breathing, it's not deep down to where belly get
- 12:55Speaker 4: rid of all that air. We could be shoulders up,
- 12:58Speaker 4: clenching our whole body and just walk around like this
- 13:01Speaker 4: and not even realize. Shoulders back and down. Squeeze your
- 13:05Speaker 4: your shoulder blades in the back. Does that feel awkward
- 13:08Speaker 4: or weird because you haven't done it in a while,
- 13:10Speaker 4: You're just like always hunched up or hunched over. The
- 13:13Speaker 4: urge to check all of our accounts repeatedly racing thoughts,
- 13:18Speaker 4: did I pay this?
- 13:19Speaker 2: Did I do that?
- 13:20Speaker 4: I was just sharing on another podcast with Stacy Stacy
- 13:23Speaker 4: Speaks Hope check that one out, The Little Girl's Running
- 13:25Speaker 4: Your Running Your Life. And I was just saying that
- 13:28Speaker 4: I would entertain this weekend and I definitely had racing
- 13:31Speaker 4: thoughts and it was all around my worthiness of not
- 13:35Speaker 4: feeling worthy and entertaining people at my house. And that
- 13:39Speaker 4: is something that I learned in childhood. Right, So we
- 13:42Speaker 4: have to look back at our little kids. What are
- 13:45Speaker 4: our little kids worried about with money? The inability to
- 13:50Speaker 4: relax even all the time, but especially after looking at
- 13:55Speaker 4: your money or before looking at your money. So when
- 13:58Speaker 4: I have my clients have their money date like it's fun.
- 14:00Speaker 4: We put on our casual clothes or our comfy clothes,
- 14:03Speaker 4: We light our candles, we have our favorite music on.
- 14:06Speaker 4: It could be in front of the fire or out
- 14:07Speaker 4: in the sun, depending on the depending on the time
- 14:10Speaker 4: of year. But you're feeling great. My spreadsheet is all
- 14:13Speaker 4: pinks and purples, yellows and greens. When it's paid off
- 14:16Speaker 4: and when I've checked it off the box. I love
- 14:19Speaker 4: checking it off the box. I have another spreadsheet that
- 14:22Speaker 4: has every single account that I've ever had, has the website,
- 14:25Speaker 4: the ID, the password of course all encrypted and where
- 14:29Speaker 4: what you know when I've paid for like I have
- 14:32Speaker 4: so many I think have like fifty six odd ball
- 14:35Speaker 4: accounts that are crazy out there that you know maybe
- 14:39Speaker 4: once a year or once a quarter. But we need
- 14:41Speaker 4: to be aware of all of that and make sure
- 14:43Speaker 4: that they're hitting our credit cards correctly. I can tell
- 14:46Speaker 4: you right now, every time that I do a look
- 14:49Speaker 4: through of everything, I always find a mistake.
- 14:53Speaker 2: Every single time.
- 14:54Speaker 4: I'm either being charged for Instacart in a different state
- 14:58Speaker 4: that I'm in, I'm being charged for what was it
- 15:02Speaker 4: Uber eats, or something was wrong. I got double charged
- 15:05Speaker 4: for a purchase that I had purchased. Like, there's always
- 15:08Speaker 4: a mistake. So we always want to look at every
- 15:12Speaker 4: single purchase that we've ever made. Like I say, you
- 15:15Speaker 4: want to know where every dime is going in your
- 15:18Speaker 4: household because you do get to control that. We want
- 15:21Speaker 4: to bring back that feeling of relief and clarity. So
- 15:25Speaker 4: right now, if you have money and you're still feeling uneasy,
- 15:29Speaker 4: it's not about the zeros, It's about your relationship to money.
- 15:34Speaker 4: You may not be reaching to the money you have now.
- 15:38Speaker 4: You may be reacting to the emotional meaning around money
- 15:42Speaker 4: that you had in the room when you were growing up.
- 15:46Speaker 4: So if you can put yourself back to that childhood
- 15:48Speaker 4: growing up with money, what was the theme in your
- 15:50Speaker 4: household around money? We want to look at that, right,
- 15:53Speaker 4: Money doesn't grow on trees. Your father works so hard
- 15:56Speaker 4: for the money. You're a single parent. Mom works two
- 15:59Speaker 4: three jobs, keep you going. Don't ever ask for anything.
- 16:01Speaker 4: She works so hard for you. You know ours was
- 16:05Speaker 4: work hard make money. We worked seven days a week
- 16:07Speaker 4: during six five days a year. You know, all that
- 16:09Speaker 4: great stuff. So we got to go back and look
- 16:11Speaker 4: at what money meant to your household when you were
- 16:14Speaker 4: growing up. Another reason, we were never taught how to
- 16:18Speaker 4: have money. So you might have it now and it's great,
- 16:21Speaker 4: but you've never had it before. So where this started
- 16:24Speaker 4: was we were taught to earn money, pay bills, that's it.
- 16:29Speaker 4: We might not have been taught how to sit with money,
- 16:32Speaker 4: how to allocate it, how to invest it, how to
- 16:36Speaker 4: hold on it without urgency, to have a nice growing
- 16:39Speaker 4: savings account, to make calm decisions, to plan for it,
- 16:43Speaker 4: to forecast. We may or never been taught any of that.
- 16:47Speaker 4: We I mean, I think we were taught how to
- 16:48Speaker 4: write a check in high school and that was it.
- 16:50Speaker 4: We were never taught about money, so money could feel
- 16:54Speaker 4: very odd to you. Having the money could feel different. Right,
- 16:57Speaker 4: something you have to manage quickly, something you could totally
- 17:01Speaker 4: mess up, something that is only going to be here
- 17:04Speaker 4: for a minute, and we want to do something right now.
- 17:07Speaker 4: It might show up that oh my gosh, money's here,
- 17:10Speaker 4: I need to do something with it right this second.
- 17:11Speaker 4: I do get those frantic calls from people are ready
- 17:14Speaker 4: for a financial advisor or a money coach. Oh my gosh,
- 17:17Speaker 4: I have an inheritance. I get a big lump of
- 17:18Speaker 4: sum and I don't know what to do with it.
- 17:20Speaker 4: We need to do something with it.
- 17:21Speaker 2: Well.
- 17:22Speaker 4: In actuality, we're going to take a breath, step back,
- 17:24Speaker 4: and we're going to educate you on your relationship with
- 17:26Speaker 4: money before we invest a dime. We absolutely have to
- 17:30Speaker 4: know you your relationship and what it means for you. If
- 17:34Speaker 4: you have discomfort, if it's just sitting there, do you
- 17:37Speaker 4: have the pressure to do the right move right now?
- 17:41Speaker 4: Is everything urgent? Is it quick fast? So we weren't
- 17:45Speaker 4: taught how to hold on to money, so having it
- 17:48Speaker 4: feels very unfamiliar. Then I believe that when we go
- 17:55Speaker 4: we all wake up for the same amount of hours
- 17:57Speaker 4: a day, right, and so when we go to work,
- 17:58Speaker 4: we are trading our skills or time for money. And
- 18:02Speaker 4: so when we go to work, or if we have
- 18:04Speaker 4: clients and we own our own business, whatever it is,
- 18:07Speaker 4: we show up with those many hours, we are giving
- 18:09Speaker 4: our time, our skills, our attributes, and in turn we're
- 18:13Speaker 4: going to get a paycheck or our clients pay us,
- 18:16Speaker 4: or our business pays us. So that is energy coming
- 18:21Speaker 4: back to us as gratitude. It's thank you for working
- 18:25Speaker 4: for my company, and here is what you earn for
- 18:28Speaker 4: your skills and your time and your everything. So it's gratitude.
- 18:31Speaker 4: So the more money that we have on our account,
- 18:34Speaker 4: the more gratitude it is. It's the more appreciation energy.
- 18:38Speaker 4: So that energy, if we for some reason do not
- 18:41Speaker 4: feel worthy and we all have an energy temperature, we
- 18:45Speaker 4: have a certain amount of money in our bank account,
- 18:47Speaker 4: it could feel uncomfortable. We could have a nice savings
- 18:51Speaker 4: and that's fine, but then when we have over that,
- 18:54Speaker 4: that could make us feel uncomfortable because we're not used
- 18:56Speaker 4: to having all that. And that does in this society
- 19:00Speaker 4: for a lot of people, equate to success or equate
- 19:04Speaker 4: to a good person or a smart person or doing
- 19:08Speaker 4: something well. So it is showing us how great we are.
- 19:13Speaker 4: And if we don't feel good on the inside, if
- 19:16Speaker 4: we still have our little girl running around that was bullied,
- 19:19Speaker 4: that was trying to keep the peace because your home
- 19:23Speaker 4: was chaotic or dysfunctional household, if you weren't sure how
- 19:28Speaker 4: to use your voice because you're always told to stop
- 19:30Speaker 4: talking or go sit in the corner, or go to
- 19:32Speaker 4: your room or whatever. If you're not feeling worthy and
- 19:35Speaker 4: that bank account starts creeping up, it makes us feel really,
- 19:40Speaker 4: really uncomfortable. So our identity of this badass woman that
- 19:44Speaker 4: we are today, from this business owner that we are,
- 19:47Speaker 4: from this amazing employee that we have climbed the ladders
- 19:50Speaker 4: and we have gotten our promotions and maybe we have
- 19:53Speaker 4: just kept our family housed and fed, right, we've.
- 19:57Speaker 2: Done a good job.
- 19:57Speaker 4: I was a single mom for a long time, and
- 19:59Speaker 4: you know what, that's a huge skill that I had
- 20:02Speaker 4: and I did. And I'm very proud of myself for
- 20:04Speaker 4: that because we went through some hard times and so
- 20:06Speaker 4: my identity did not catch up with this badass person
- 20:10Speaker 4: that I'm receiving all this money. Now, when you start
- 20:12Speaker 4: doubling your income because I'll just double my income like
- 20:16Speaker 4: out of the clear blue sky. And it's like, oh,
- 20:18Speaker 4: that made me feel really uncomfortable. I didn't know what
- 20:20Speaker 4: to do with all that money. So now we have
- 20:23Speaker 4: to build our identity around where we're at now. We
- 20:27Speaker 4: used to had to be careful or just getting by
- 20:29Speaker 4: or figuring it out, or being broke, and now we
- 20:32Speaker 4: have a surplus. Now we have to make decisions and
- 20:34Speaker 4: we're feeling financially secure. How do we feel that? So
- 20:38Speaker 4: when money increases but your identity still says I'm someone
- 20:42Speaker 4: who struggles, or I'm someone who has to be careful,
- 20:45Speaker 4: or I'm not smart enough, good enough, whatever it is,
- 20:48Speaker 4: feeling like that is not real. We want to push
- 20:51Speaker 4: that away. We want to find trust in ourself, clarity
- 20:55Speaker 4: in ourself. Your life has changed, but your self image didn't.
- 20:59Speaker 4: So when you're not feeling good when you have money
- 21:03Speaker 4: showing up, don't beat yourself up. Just go back to
- 21:07Speaker 4: Let's find out why, right, Let's bring it all together here.
- 21:10Speaker 4: Let's find out what emotional what experience has shaped our
- 21:13Speaker 4: emotions around money. Let's go find out what our identity
- 21:17Speaker 4: is and reframe it. Let's find our safety familiarity and
- 21:21Speaker 4: our trust in our money and our badass person that
- 21:25Speaker 4: we are today. We don't just need more money. As
- 21:28Speaker 4: we see the lottery leinners winners, right, they lose all
- 21:31Speaker 4: their money. A lot of people inherit money and lose
- 21:35Speaker 4: it or something comes up to where they have to
- 21:37Speaker 4: spend it because they're not used to the energy temperature
- 21:41Speaker 4: that they need to be at with this new you know,
- 21:45Speaker 4: this new inheritance or the new job or the new
- 21:48Speaker 4: promotion or whatever it might be. So we don't just
- 21:50Speaker 4: need more money, but we have to feel safe in
- 21:53Speaker 4: having more money. So basically, we want to make sure that.
- 21:59Speaker 2: We go back.
- 22:00Speaker 4: I can look at our little girl, our childhood, the
- 22:02Speaker 4: household around money, and let's heal that. Let's journal, let's
- 22:07Speaker 4: hire a coach. I've hired many coaches to help me
- 22:10Speaker 4: with this. It's an ongoing thing. Every decade, I'm excavating
- 22:13Speaker 4: more and more and more deeper, deeper, deeper, fun, fun, fun,
- 22:17Speaker 4: But I'm finding joy all along the way. We have
- 22:20Speaker 4: to have joy. We have to have happiness and joy
- 22:22Speaker 4: in order to welcome wealth into our lives. So I
- 22:26Speaker 4: hope this was helpful for y'all. And knowing that more
- 22:29Speaker 4: money just does not equate to less stress. We still
- 22:32Speaker 4: have the emotional journey. So check out rock my Finances
- 22:36Speaker 4: all the podcasts on there because I want you to
- 22:39Speaker 4: feel really good, find joy every day, and be able
- 22:41Speaker 4: to say I rock my Finances.
- 22:45Speaker 3: We appreciate you joining us today and don't forget to
- 22:47Speaker 3: subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
- 22:51Speaker 3: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
- 22:56Speaker 3: Let's find out with Jennifer right here on K FOURHD
- 22:59Speaker 3: Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about the zero,
- 23:03Speaker 3: It's about the F word. Feelings, feelings. Jennifer can't wait
- 23:07Speaker 3: to explore with you next week. Until then, let's all
- 23:10Speaker 3: say I rock my Finances.