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Sexual Healing with Simone Farschi · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

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Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
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Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
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Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
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Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
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Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
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Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
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Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
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Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo chariots to keep
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Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,
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Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
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Speaker 1: Jim see king told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
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Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ant. And
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Speaker 1: the ancestors told me that you would come to give wisdom. Thousands.
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Speaker 1: They said you would come Dropping Dropping Jim. Welcome back.
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Speaker 1: This is episode twenty one of Dropping Gem's and I
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Speaker 1: am Debbie Brown. Thank you for joining me again. Let's
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Speaker 1: talk about sensuality, sexuality and the roles they play in
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Speaker 1: our journeys to healing ourselves and experiencing the fullest lives
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Speaker 1: possible At a really, really incredible experience recently with who
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Speaker 1: is going to jump join the show in just a
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Speaker 1: bit as my special guest. But first, I really want
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Speaker 1: to tap into my original belief system about sexuality. I've
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Speaker 1: been doing so much processing and giving so much thought
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Speaker 1: to the way that I've experienced sexuality in my life
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Speaker 1: at different points of my life, and the way that
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Speaker 1: I experienced my own sensuality and the way in which
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Speaker 1: I allow myself to experience joy, pleasure, and intimacy in
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Speaker 1: all things and in all moments. So when I really
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Speaker 1: think about sexuality and how it was presented, if I
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Speaker 1: look back to my younger self, I realized how ill
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Speaker 1: equipped for the world I was. I learned mostly about
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Speaker 1: sex through school, which meant it was kind of sped
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Speaker 1: through by my teacher, and everybody in class was laughing
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Speaker 1: about it, or it felt weird or very embarrassing a
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Speaker 1: little shameful. I started experiencing and exploring my thoughts around
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Speaker 1: when I lost my virginity and what that experience felt
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Speaker 1: like to me, or when I was with new partners
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Speaker 1: what that meant to me or what I thought that
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Speaker 1: meant about me, and how often I didn't necessarily know
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Speaker 1: how to advocate for myself, or wasn't always getting my
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Speaker 1: needs met in a way that felt honoring to me.
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Speaker 1: And so that's one side of the coin, right, that's
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Speaker 1: us exploring our sexuality and what it meant to us
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Speaker 1: in and what it means to us now, or the
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Speaker 1: way we experience sex with ourselves or with a partner.
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Speaker 1: But then there's another side of the coin, where healing
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Speaker 1: of the womb for women really coming into that space,
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Speaker 1: where we are purging any trauma, any seeds that were
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Speaker 1: planted there, either ancestrally or through partners you may have
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Speaker 1: been with, or through maybe a little negligence and nonchalance
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Speaker 1: with ourselves. This whole other side of the coin of
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Speaker 1: the energy work and the excavation we can do, and
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Speaker 1: the self inquiry we can have about our precious parts
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Speaker 1: and about the sensuality that resides deep inside of us
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Speaker 1: that is always looking to feel more free. You know,
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Speaker 1: some conversations that are coming to the surface now that
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Speaker 1: are really exciting in the metaphysical and wellness world are
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Speaker 1: really anchored around the understanding of the divine masculine and
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Speaker 1: the divine feminine, and those two polarities exists inside each
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Speaker 1: of us. So every woman has a divine masculine and
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Speaker 1: a divine feminine, and every man does too, and we
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Speaker 1: are meant to experience both. But what I've come to
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Speaker 1: know through my own research, my own experiencing, and also
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Speaker 1: through powerful conversations with different psychologists and therapists. You know,
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Speaker 1: for so many women, we take on more of a
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Speaker 1: masculine energy because we needed to to survive. So what
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Speaker 1: that could look like is just having hyper vigilance over yourself,
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Speaker 1: for feeling like you had to be the only caretaker
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Speaker 1: of self, that you couldn't or didn't naturally want to
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Speaker 1: allow help from other people, that everything was your burden
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Speaker 1: to bear. A lot of that came up in us
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Speaker 1: because of false programming, both patriarchy, systemic racism, all of
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Speaker 1: the ways in which women have been impressed throughout human history,
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Speaker 1: and also just us believing that our worth was really
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Speaker 1: forged in our pain or how much pain we could tolerate,
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Speaker 1: or in our resilience. You know, so many women have
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Speaker 1: been placed without their permission, on a path of martyrdom
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Speaker 1: because we didn't know there was another way. So when
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Speaker 1: we are led to believe that we are only necessary
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Speaker 1: or powerful or important based on the role that we're playing,
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Speaker 1: or how we show up for other people. It doesn't
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Speaker 1: allow us to feel really safe inside of our own bodies,
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Speaker 1: and it doesn't allow us to experience ourselves with the
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Speaker 1: softness and the ease that we deserve. I believe you know,
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Speaker 1: so many of us got a very limited view of
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Speaker 1: the power of our own ntuality and sexuality, the power
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Speaker 1: of orgasms in your life. So much of it was
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Speaker 1: based on ways in which women were presented on TV
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Speaker 1: and film, or ways women were presented in pornography that
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Speaker 1: wasn't actually natural or authentic to the human experience and
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Speaker 1: definitely didn't allow for women to feel empowered in an
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Speaker 1: authentic way inside of their own bodies, in a way
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Speaker 1: that was led with their own sovereignty, in a way
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Speaker 1: that was led with their own pleasure at the forefront,
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Speaker 1: or in a way that was led with just a
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Speaker 1: joy for their bodies. The ability to be intimate, even
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Speaker 1: in a non sexual way, The ability to just be
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Speaker 1: deeply present with ourselves and others where we are feeling
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Speaker 1: fully seen and fully heard and cared for. I think
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Speaker 1: this is especially true when it comes to women of color,
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Speaker 1: to the bipop community. These kind of thoughts, these kind
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Speaker 1: of feelings. They do affect really all women, but for
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Speaker 1: so many women that are of color. We've also only
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Speaker 1: seen the world and feminine sexuality or sensuality through the
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Speaker 1: veil or through the experience of whiteness, which is also
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Speaker 1: so different. Our bodies look different, right, Your private areas
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Speaker 1: look different. Um, the relationship dynamics look different. The way
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Speaker 1: you're received in the world looks different. What is considered
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Speaker 1: beautiful is different. There's a false sense of unworthiness that
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Speaker 1: we can have with our bodies based on influences that
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Speaker 1: have nothing to do with God and that have nothing
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Speaker 1: to do with us. And so I'm really intrigued by this,
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Speaker 1: and I've been doing quite a bit of deep dive
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Speaker 1: and study around this, and I've been really building some
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Speaker 1: beautiful relationships and friendships centering around some of this beautiful
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Speaker 1: work you can do to become free in this area
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Speaker 1: in this way. So in this moment now that I'm
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Speaker 1: on the other side of some of it, I had
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Speaker 1: a really really beautiful experience with the guests and bringing
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Speaker 1: on the show who is a master of sexology work,
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Speaker 1: among other things. I had a beautiful experience spending time
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Speaker 1: with her where she's based in Mexico and really learning
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Speaker 1: all of this work of self, really learning how to
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Speaker 1: tap into the deepest parts of your sensuality and how
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Speaker 1: to really be free and uninhibited in every single way possible,
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Speaker 1: how to develop a relationship of seduction with the world,
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Speaker 1: how to develop a sense of knowingness and power within yourself,
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Speaker 1: and how you manifest in the world, and how to
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Speaker 1: really activate that be it aful womb energy that so
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Speaker 1: many of us thought was just to hold babies or
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Speaker 1: to allow our partners entry to really utilizing that space
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Speaker 1: for our highest good as one of our greatest, if
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Speaker 1: not the greatest tools of manifestation that we have in
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Speaker 1: our life. So in this moment, I would consider myself
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Speaker 1: a woman that is healed, that is whole, that is
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Speaker 1: wildly free in so many ways, that essential, that is sexy,
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Speaker 1: that is loving, that is compassionate, and that has the
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Speaker 1: ability to attract and manifest any and everything that I
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Speaker 1: desire at the deepest level. That is from my highest
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Speaker 1: good and the highest good of all concerned. So I'm
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Speaker 1: really excited today to get into the meat of this
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Speaker 1: show and introduce you to someone that is incredibly special
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Speaker 1: in my life, whose work I think is one of
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Speaker 1: the most trans formative things you could ever do with
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Speaker 1: your life as you're on this journey. So when I
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Speaker 1: started to notice that a lot of questions were coming
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Speaker 1: up for me or just investigation of thought was really
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Speaker 1: deepening and really coming forward, I was kind of energetically
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Speaker 1: and cosmically connecting the dots, you know. I'd have this
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Speaker 1: thought where I was really exploring, like what is my
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Speaker 1: past with being sensual, with being sexual? How do I
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Speaker 1: experience myself? How do I feel when I am observing
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Speaker 1: ways that I may have behaved or partners that I
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Speaker 1: may have been with previously. Um, And so I'm the
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Speaker 1: kind of person I know you guys get this already. Uh,
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Speaker 1: but I like to do the work. I don't like
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Speaker 1: to just say how yes, I'm doing the work and
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Speaker 1: the journey. You know. I I'm very research based, very much.
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Speaker 1: So I'm someone who really likes to blend the world
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Speaker 1: of spiritual but also really understanding rationally how my mind,
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Speaker 1: my heart, my body received information and receive healing. And
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Speaker 1: so trauma study has been something that's really important to
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Speaker 1: me and somatic experiencing. I think body work is so
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Speaker 1: so important to really dissolving trauma on your spiritual path
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Speaker 1: and in your journey. And so I one of my
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Speaker 1: amazing girlfriends, Um, She and I were speaking one day
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Speaker 1: and she leaned forward and she she said to me,
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Speaker 1: I have to tell you something that I've done, and
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Speaker 1: you know me, I leaned in quickly and I'm like, girl,
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Speaker 1: what tell me? What are we into now? What are
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Speaker 1: the things? And she told me Um that she actually
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Speaker 1: had found someone in Europe that did some really beautiful
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Speaker 1: work for her around clearing her womb and healing her womb.
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Speaker 1: And when we say specifically things like that, because we're
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Speaker 1: gonna be talking to quite a bit, you know, really
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Speaker 1: deep in your understanding of what your womb means to you.
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Speaker 1: I know, we've heard the word and we were taught
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Speaker 1: that the womb is, you know, what makes the baby,
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Speaker 1: what holds the baby, with births the baby. But your
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Speaker 1: womb is really that you know, beautiful sacred chakra. That's
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Speaker 1: the core of your manifestation. That is the place from
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Speaker 1: not WHI not just which life comes forth, but the
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Speaker 1: birth of your ideas, the experience of God, the deeper
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Speaker 1: experience of yourself. And so when she started telling me
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Speaker 1: some of the ways she had been exploring her womb.
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Speaker 1: I said, I gotta get me a piece of this,
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Speaker 1: and so I started researching and a very wonderful, dear
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Speaker 1: friend of mine named Dr Sheila. I told her what
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Speaker 1: my intention was, that I really wanted to do some
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Speaker 1: womb healing and I really wanted to do some work
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Speaker 1: in my sacred chakra and really experience a deeper level
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Speaker 1: of sensuality within myself. And so she and I booked
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Speaker 1: a trip to go to Mexico. We went to this amazing,
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Speaker 1: amazing little town called Silita, which I'll be talking about
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Speaker 1: a little more deeply on another episode. Um, but it
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Speaker 1: was an incredible experience. And while there I got to
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Speaker 1: meet the amazing woman that you will be hearing from today,
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Speaker 1: Simone farsh a goddess on Earth, an angel incarnate, a
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Speaker 1: woman who is dedicated to helping women embrace the fullness
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Speaker 1: of their bodies and their sensuality and their yoni's. And so,
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Speaker 1: without further ado, I would like to introduce you right
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Speaker 1: now to the amazing Simone farsh So. Simone Farshe is
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Speaker 1: a sex and intimacy coach serving women, men, non binary individuals,
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Speaker 1: and couples in California and throughout the world. After traveling
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Speaker 1: throughout the world and birthing her son, she realized the
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Speaker 1: importance of developing one connection to self and to the
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Speaker 1: feminine collective, so she continued her studies as a certified
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Speaker 1: Vinyasa Yoga teacher, certified life coach, as well as trained
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Speaker 1: as a Dula meditation leader, somatic practitioner, and a sexology
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Speaker 1: body worker with Betty Dotson. Simone is the founder of
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Speaker 1: the Pleasure Plus, an online community and membership that brings
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Speaker 1: women together to access deeper intimacy and to build confidence
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Speaker 1: through somatic embodiment practices, ancient rituals and neuroscience, and a
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Speaker 1: safe and inspiring container where we can communicate confidently and
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Speaker 1: openly about our desires and needs. In that space, they
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Speaker 1: come together to learn how to have fulfilling and emotionally
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Speaker 1: intelligent relationships, to be empowered and secure in their bodies,
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Speaker 1: and to be authentically themselves, trusting their decisions and having
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Speaker 1: more time to do what they really want, becoming more magnetic, radiant,
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Speaker 1: and fulfilled in all aspects of their lives. Welcome to
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Speaker 1: the show, SIMONEA thank you, dev I'm so honored to
15:11
Speaker 1: be here. I am so happy that you're here. You
15:13
Speaker 1: were in town visiting, and I said, hold up, you
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Speaker 1: have We've got to share this, We've got to talk
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Speaker 1: about this. So tell me first. You know, this is
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Speaker 1: a time that's never been and I'm really interested to
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Speaker 1: hear from healers that I have on the show. You know,
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Speaker 1: how have you been experiencing these last eight months from
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Speaker 1: that healing and spiritual practitioner point of view, and what
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Speaker 1: have you noticed as maybe some of the gifts of
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Speaker 1: this global pandemic in your life and in your work.
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Speaker 1: That is a great question. And for me, Um, these
15:48
Speaker 1: last few months have really been dropping into my body,
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Speaker 1: and from that place, with all of the things that
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Speaker 1: I have studied, I feel like this time has been
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Speaker 1: a blessing. It's been a time to super deeply connect
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Speaker 1: with one's intention and one's purpose and one's connection with
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Speaker 1: self and also in relationships and intimacy. Yeah. So when
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Speaker 1: you say drop into your body for everyone listening, can
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Speaker 1: you expand on that? Yeah? So I work somatically, so
16:17
Speaker 1: all the work that I do, Um, You know, like
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Speaker 1: sex therapists, you would sit down and talk with about
16:24
Speaker 1: what's going on, and then you would get some information
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Speaker 1: and practices to go and do at home, and it's
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Speaker 1: all verbal, but what I do, it's all a real
16:32
Speaker 1: time practice. So everything is in the body, and that's
16:36
Speaker 1: just slowing down and paying attention to your breath, um,
16:39
Speaker 1: your posture, your movement, the tone of your voice, um,
16:44
Speaker 1: all of those things that's being in your body. And
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Speaker 1: I think I love that you explained it that way
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Speaker 1: so beautifully, because you know, a lot of times we
16:52
Speaker 1: can do this work and we'll talk about this quite
16:55
Speaker 1: a bit, but it stays as more of an intellectualization,
17:00
Speaker 1: which means it stays in your head. So yeah, you
17:03
Speaker 1: might be able to recite it, you might even be
17:05
Speaker 1: teaching it with others or sharing it, or you might
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Speaker 1: it might make perfect sense to you on a cerebral level,
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Speaker 1: but without the somatic experiencing UM, you're not able to embody,
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Speaker 1: which means that you don't become that right. You can
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Speaker 1: position yourself with that knowledge many different times, but you're
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Speaker 1: not really feeling living and breathing out of that healed nous,
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Speaker 1: out of that wholeness. And so for me, you know
17:33
Speaker 1: what I think of that in terms of mindful practice.
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Speaker 1: You know, in real time, if I'm upset about something
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Speaker 1: literally in the second it's happening. I take a moment,
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Speaker 1: I close my eyes, I do some breathing, I check
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Speaker 1: in with my heart, and I might say, how are
17:48
Speaker 1: you really feeling right now? And then something comes up
17:52
Speaker 1: and then you're able to experience it and process it
17:55
Speaker 1: in that moment, so you dissolve it, and I guess
17:58
Speaker 1: another way to position that would be, I think visually.
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Speaker 1: So you won't end up in the shower later going
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Speaker 1: over that conversation and playing it out in a bunch
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Speaker 1: of different ways. That's kind of how it manifests in
18:10
Speaker 1: even such a bigger way in your life. But yeah,
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Speaker 1: you won't be sitting there obsessing over things that happen,
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Speaker 1: or making judgments about yourself, or you know, agonizing about
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Speaker 1: some of the smaller details. Yeah, it's so true. And
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Speaker 1: we're truly embodied, and we have that muscle memory. We
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Speaker 1: get those very clear messages and there's not really any
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Speaker 1: other choice. When you're really connected, help us understand this
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Speaker 1: beautiful journey that you have been on. Um, what made
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Speaker 1: you start this work? Oh? That question? Yes, what brought
18:43
Speaker 1: me to right now? Um, I've been thinking about this
18:47
Speaker 1: question and I feel like it's like all my life's
18:51
Speaker 1: experiences has led me to right now and in this
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Speaker 1: dharma and this purpose that I am living in this moment,
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Speaker 1: and so lucky to be able to share. Um. You know,
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Speaker 1: I grew up in a small town and it was
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Speaker 1: a primarily white town. I'm I'm Persian, so um, and
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Speaker 1: I will say that like just being a child, you know,
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Speaker 1: I've always been pretty connected to my sensuality and my
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Speaker 1: body and just curiosity and the love for adventure. UM.
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Speaker 1: So growing up like that, being really free in my
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Speaker 1: mind and then coming to like I don't know, middle
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Speaker 1: school and high school and very quickly being shamed, um
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Speaker 1: for the way that I dressed, or just purely the
19:40
Speaker 1: way that I looked like being Persian, having these halfway open, sleepy,
19:45
Speaker 1: dreamy eyes. Um, it was like, Oh, she's sexy or
19:49
Speaker 1: she's trying to get some attention, and oh wow. So
19:53
Speaker 1: that turned into this kind of like disconnection with that
19:56
Speaker 1: sensual power or that sensual feminine wisdom that I think
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Speaker 1: we you know, we all have UM in us and
20:02
Speaker 1: and it's such a pure and beautiful thing that we
20:06
Speaker 1: all have, that we're all born with UM. But it's
20:08
Speaker 1: society that that starts to shape us. And dim that light,
20:13
Speaker 1: um that we all have. And so that's what happened
20:15
Speaker 1: to me. You know, over time, I became a bit
20:18
Speaker 1: disconnected and trying to fit the mold of what you know,
20:22
Speaker 1: I thought I was supposed to be or disconnect from
20:25
Speaker 1: my beauty or my pleasure. And from there, UM, you know,
20:32
Speaker 1: I think I just was a little bit misaligned from
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Speaker 1: from where I was supposed to go. And and then
20:38
Speaker 1: that like that UM etched into so many things, you know,
20:43
Speaker 1: I etched into the kind of relationship that I wanted
20:47
Speaker 1: to have. I was always like fantasizing about these movies
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Speaker 1: that we see and this like romantic idea of UM,
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Speaker 1: a husband and a relationship, and I was seeking that.
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Speaker 1: But because I was UM, I was raised by a
21:04
Speaker 1: single mom, I didn't have a great example of what
21:10
Speaker 1: like healthy love was and what a relationship was. So
21:16
Speaker 1: long story short kind of I UM. You know, I
21:20
Speaker 1: had a few like failed relationships and then um, eventually
21:24
Speaker 1: after having my son and that not working out with
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Speaker 1: his father because of lots of miscommunication and dishonesty and
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Speaker 1: like trying to be connected to my sensual power but
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Speaker 1: not really fully aligned with it, I had to do
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Speaker 1: a lot of healing and soul searching after that, and
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Speaker 1: from that, that's when I went deep into the studies
21:46
Speaker 1: of somatics, of yoga, of being in my body, of meditation,
21:51
Speaker 1: working with women, and eventually that brought me to feeling
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Speaker 1: free and feeling back in my body, feeling empowered with
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Speaker 1: my sensuality. And from that place I it was able
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Speaker 1: to connect with like one of the most beautiful loves
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Speaker 1: of my life. And because I was in such a
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Speaker 1: place of deep healing, I was not I was not
22:20
Speaker 1: willing to be anything other than myself, and so was
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Speaker 1: he and he was at this place too, in this
22:26
Speaker 1: journey of his life. So we met each other authentically
22:29
Speaker 1: and we said, we love each other deeply. We want
22:31
Speaker 1: to experience love and being a relationship, but we don't
22:34
Speaker 1: want to stop exploring ourselves. And so we had a beautiful,
22:38
Speaker 1: open long distance relationship for about four years, and I
22:43
Speaker 1: learned so much about healing the shame that I had
22:48
Speaker 1: received all the years prior. I learned how to have UM, communication, vulnerability, authenticity, UM,
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Speaker 1: all of the things that were not taught growing up,
23:01
Speaker 1: and how to have a healthy, long loving relationship. And yeah,
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Speaker 1: this made me feel so many things and it basically
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Speaker 1: put me on the path of continuing to study how
23:13
Speaker 1: to share and how to teach women and men and
23:16
Speaker 1: everyone to like a roadmap and how to connect with
23:19
Speaker 1: your own desires and your authenticity so that you can
23:24
Speaker 1: can create the life that is meant for you. Wow. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: I just want to say after this UM like relationship
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Speaker 1: that I was because it was open, it was like
23:36
Speaker 1: really a time for me to connect with my back,
23:38
Speaker 1: with my sexuality. So I was able to you know,
23:42
Speaker 1: date other men and still have a partner that I
23:45
Speaker 1: shared all the things that were going on UM with
23:48
Speaker 1: and feel super safe in that space. I was like,
23:51
Speaker 1: my my partner UM supported me and being like really
23:57
Speaker 1: in my body, really sexual, really passionate and being a lover.
24:02
Speaker 1: So I got to practice like what it's like to
24:04
Speaker 1: share that to myself with him and with friends, and
24:10
Speaker 1: that spurred this desire to learn more and more about
24:14
Speaker 1: UM my body, and I realized how much women don't
24:19
Speaker 1: really know UM about their own body and their own
24:23
Speaker 1: capacity for pleasure. Why do you think that women don't
24:27
Speaker 1: know about their bodies and their capacity for pleasure? Well,
24:32
Speaker 1: historically we're just not really we're not invited to learn
24:38
Speaker 1: about our bodies. We like I've sat in really deep
24:42
Speaker 1: thought about this recently, and it you know, the thing
24:46
Speaker 1: that I want to know. I want to know who
24:48
Speaker 1: the first man was who decided he was against women
24:52
Speaker 1: and then talked all the rest of them into being
24:54
Speaker 1: the same, and then decided to write history without women?
24:58
Speaker 1: Like who did it? Where was the shift? This was
25:01
Speaker 1: thousands of years ago? Because when we look back historically,
25:05
Speaker 1: even when we think of women that were left out
25:07
Speaker 1: of the Bible, like there's not any there are not
25:10
Speaker 1: any real title characters in the Bible outside of perhaps Mary,
25:14
Speaker 1: you know, and it's interesting because that's that's our oldest history,
25:19
Speaker 1: you know. But when you think about all of the
25:22
Speaker 1: women that are left out of all of the books, right,
25:25
Speaker 1: and you think about the history of men really using
25:29
Speaker 1: women as just like receptacles, like just like you know,
25:34
Speaker 1: like fluid dumpsters, like just like all right, you know,
25:38
Speaker 1: I need to get what I need. But women have
25:40
Speaker 1: always been trained two not even be able to say
25:45
Speaker 1: the word vagina volva or pussy or anything or yoni. Right,
25:52
Speaker 1: like you have this you can be a grown woman
25:56
Speaker 1: and still get the giggles about talking about your private hearts,
26:00
Speaker 1: you know, talking about your genitalia, and it's like, that's
26:03
Speaker 1: so interesting, and then that makes us feel like we
26:07
Speaker 1: should be ashamed of ourselves or like there's something that
26:09
Speaker 1: is silly about it or a little gross about it
26:12
Speaker 1: or ugly about it. Right, And it's like when we
26:15
Speaker 1: really sit and think about that, and I invite everyone
26:18
Speaker 1: listening to spend some time and thought about this later.
26:21
Speaker 1: But it's like, well, who taught me that? Who? When
26:26
Speaker 1: did I pick that up? And when I kind of
26:29
Speaker 1: searched my own memory banks, it wasn't, you know, a
26:32
Speaker 1: particular person. It wasn't in my personal life. It wasn't
26:35
Speaker 1: that someone told me that my body was wrong, But
26:39
Speaker 1: it was in everything you see everywhere, right in every
26:42
Speaker 1: movie when they're having sex for two minutes and then
26:45
Speaker 1: she supposedly comes and he comes right, or every time
26:51
Speaker 1: you know, people talk about yeah, I just fake it,
26:53
Speaker 1: and then you're like, oh, so maybe like that's just
26:56
Speaker 1: not in it for me. Maybe I can never orgas
26:58
Speaker 1: them during sex, or maybe his pleasure is more important
27:02
Speaker 1: and I'll focus on me later. Every time you've had
27:05
Speaker 1: to act or you've embellished how your body felt right
27:09
Speaker 1: because you may have seen porn and they're saying, well,
27:12
Speaker 1: that's how they have sex when they have porn, So
27:15
Speaker 1: let me just act that out, you know. And it's
27:18
Speaker 1: like every porn we've ever seen is a woman where
27:21
Speaker 1: no one is concerned about her pleasure, where you know,
27:25
Speaker 1: her body is really just used as a means to
27:29
Speaker 1: an end or objectified, or her sounds are un natural.
27:33
Speaker 1: Nobody sounds like that, or her body movements are a natural,
27:37
Speaker 1: or she's not making sure, you know, to get what
27:40
Speaker 1: she needs, or they're not actually looking at each other
27:43
Speaker 1: touching each other. Entire generations of people, because we don't
27:47
Speaker 1: learn about this stuff at home, get all of their
27:50
Speaker 1: understanding of what sex should be from movies and from porn,
27:55
Speaker 1: you know, like like the every time someone has sex,
27:58
Speaker 1: I love you, I remember think you were supposed to
28:00
Speaker 1: say that, you know, like that that wasn't that, that
28:04
Speaker 1: was just part of it. So it's just it's it's
28:07
Speaker 1: so interesting when we really and again this is always
28:10
Speaker 1: what I'm going to say here and everywhere, when we
28:13
Speaker 1: step outside of ourselves to just be curious observers of
28:18
Speaker 1: our lives and not in judgment, we can look at
28:20
Speaker 1: that really clearly and realize we've always been enough, it's
28:24
Speaker 1: not us and it's okay to not know things about
28:28
Speaker 1: our bodies and not know things that we like, but
28:30
Speaker 1: we have the opportunity to learn. Yeah, that's so beautifully said,
28:33
Speaker 1: and it's it's so true. We're so disconnected from down there,
28:38
Speaker 1: and I hate even staying down there because that's what
28:39
Speaker 1: so many women refer to. The sun don't shine there.
28:43
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, take some time and connect with that,
28:46
Speaker 1: that intimate space that is so beautiful and is so diverse,
28:50
Speaker 1: and yeah, I mean it so. One of the first
28:52
Speaker 1: experiences that I had with Volvo mapping was with Betty Dodson,
28:57
Speaker 1: who just passed recently, but she is an amazing pie
29:00
Speaker 1: near of feminism and her whole thing was showing up
29:05
Speaker 1: naked in a room full of women and unclothing and
29:08
Speaker 1: showing each other our our yungnies are pussies because we
29:13
Speaker 1: are not given an accurate paint that picture for everyone,
29:16
Speaker 1: really quick, what does that look like to come into
29:18
Speaker 1: a space And if you guys get time, please look
29:21
Speaker 1: up Betty Dotson. She's actually a phenomenal, phenomenal woman and
29:25
Speaker 1: pioneer of embracing orgasm and using it as tools for
29:30
Speaker 1: manifestation and radiant youth and beauty and pleasure. But at
29:35
Speaker 1: at something like that when like these women groups happen, Um,
29:39
Speaker 1: what does that look like walking into a room and
29:42
Speaker 1: disrobing with a room full of women you don't know,
29:45
Speaker 1: And how does it feel seeing other people's genitals? It
29:51
Speaker 1: is it's surprisingly feel so natural, so natural, and so
29:58
Speaker 1: normal because we know we're clothed all the time, we're
30:01
Speaker 1: putting shields and veils and you know what, we think
30:04
Speaker 1: we should look like up on us all the time.
30:07
Speaker 1: So walking into a space of women that are just
30:10
Speaker 1: as naked and vulnerable as you, it is beautiful and
30:14
Speaker 1: it's reminiscent about you know, like ancient feminine, deep empowered wisdom.
30:20
Speaker 1: And then you realize that your body is so different.
30:22
Speaker 1: Everybody's body is so different and uniquely and amazingly so
30:27
Speaker 1: right of course, So then when you guys are doing
30:31
Speaker 1: and I say, I'm going to get a little specific
30:34
Speaker 1: with some of the definitions because I know this is
30:37
Speaker 1: an audio format, so we have to visually paint the picture,
30:40
Speaker 1: and I know this work is really foreign to so
30:42
Speaker 1: many people, Like there there's a small handful of people
30:46
Speaker 1: that do the work that you do globally a small
30:51
Speaker 1: handful globally, Like this is a very very even though
30:55
Speaker 1: this is ancient work, it's a very new practice for
31:00
Speaker 1: people to be talking about it or even know that
31:03
Speaker 1: there's possibility to heal and grow in this way. Um So,
31:08
Speaker 1: when you're doing so, some of the words, some of
31:11
Speaker 1: the things that happen in this process are like the
31:14
Speaker 1: vulva mapping, pleasure mapping, Yoni massage. Can you break down
31:19
Speaker 1: for me how some of that works. Yeah, So, pleasure
31:22
Speaker 1: mapping is really just mapping your body and it doesn't
31:25
Speaker 1: necessarily have to be sexual. It's just mapping your body
31:27
Speaker 1: for what feels pleasurable. We really desensitize ourselves so much
31:32
Speaker 1: of the time, and we we don't have a clear
31:36
Speaker 1: understanding of what we actually want or desire, or we've
31:40
Speaker 1: learned to only respond to what our partners likes and
31:43
Speaker 1: wants are and this creates a huge disconnection in our
31:47
Speaker 1: body and for long term pleasure and also just in
31:51
Speaker 1: attracting what we want in our bigger purpose and life.
31:55
Speaker 1: Um So, yeah, some of this this work for me
31:58
Speaker 1: has been just like connecting with is my desire and
32:01
Speaker 1: once I'm connected to that and my pleasure. Then everything
32:04
Speaker 1: is effortless. Everything just unfolds effortlessly into my life. And
32:08
Speaker 1: vulva mapping is actually mapping your vulva, so you're learning
32:13
Speaker 1: the anatomy of your vulva. So many people called the
32:16
Speaker 1: vulva the vagina. We've been taught, you know, our parents
32:19
Speaker 1: don't even know. It's not actually called the vulva. I mean,
32:22
Speaker 1: it's not actually called a vagina. It's called a volva.
32:24
Speaker 1: Volva is the outer parts, um, and the vagina is
32:28
Speaker 1: the canal and in which we are penetrated or which
32:30
Speaker 1: we have a baby through. So just reclaiming and naming
32:36
Speaker 1: what our parts are so that we can be empowered
32:40
Speaker 1: by by holding that space for each of our parts,
32:44
Speaker 1: giving them identity, and then inviting pleasure and sensation to
32:48
Speaker 1: each of those parts. Yeah, Simone and I actually did
32:52
Speaker 1: that experience together, UM, and it was one It was
32:59
Speaker 1: profound only beautiful. Um, it was an experience that was
33:05
Speaker 1: just truly indescribable, Like there's no point of reference for
33:09
Speaker 1: me ever feeling that closely connected to my body before
33:12
Speaker 1: um even down to like massaging my C section scar
33:18
Speaker 1: and experiencing like an immense amount of ancestral healing from
33:25
Speaker 1: that spot, you know, um, And there were parts of
33:31
Speaker 1: that experience. I mean, first, let's just say I've never
33:35
Speaker 1: done anything like that before, so I was absolutely I
33:39
Speaker 1: felt I showed up for myself really powerfully and in
33:42
Speaker 1: a good way. Like I was ready for the experience.
33:44
Speaker 1: So I wasn't all giggly and I wasn't all you know,
33:47
Speaker 1: um silly about it. But I definitely felt more vulnerable
33:51
Speaker 1: than I've ever felt. I've definitely felt more seen than
33:56
Speaker 1: I've ever felt. But it was fascinating. It was fascinating, um.
34:01
Speaker 1: And you can do like external and internal mapping in
34:04
Speaker 1: that way, and just you know, we it's hardly talked
34:07
Speaker 1: about in school, our anatomy, and when it is again,
34:10
Speaker 1: it was presented to us most likely in the seventh grade,
34:13
Speaker 1: unless you also took further courses maybe in high school
34:17
Speaker 1: and college, and you kind of rushed through it because
34:21
Speaker 1: everyone's giggling and everyone's like you or oh. That was
34:24
Speaker 1: my experience in the seventh grade at least. And so
34:28
Speaker 1: you know, it was actually interesting as a woman in
34:30
Speaker 1: her thirties to realize there was stuff. I didn't know
34:34
Speaker 1: what everything was called, you know, I did think the
34:36
Speaker 1: whole thing was called vagina, Like I didn't know that
34:40
Speaker 1: that was just the birth canal, or even if I
34:42
Speaker 1: had learned it, it wasn't in you know, my conscious
34:45
Speaker 1: memory that I had access to. But it was so
34:48
Speaker 1: fascinating And some of the things that you have talked
34:51
Speaker 1: about and that you show women in this work that
34:54
Speaker 1: you do, it's really the system of understanding of how
34:57
Speaker 1: our bodies even respond to pleasure and how much time
35:00
Speaker 1: it actually takes. Like, no, thirty seconds of four play
35:03
Speaker 1: is not enough. No, you you know, maybe touching me
35:07
Speaker 1: in this way, that's not enough for me to actually
35:10
Speaker 1: have that in body experience that I deserve to have
35:14
Speaker 1: as a woman. Can you speak to that some of
35:16
Speaker 1: the functions of how if if someone were to be
35:21
Speaker 1: having sex with themselves or with a partner, what should
35:24
Speaker 1: the flow of that actually look like and what physically
35:27
Speaker 1: is happening to the body as these different stages are happening. Yes,
35:31
Speaker 1: that's such a great thing to talk about and understand.
35:34
Speaker 1: Um And yeah, with that, I just want to say, like,
35:37
Speaker 1: what if we change that, you know, in the way
35:38
Speaker 1: that we learn our sex at what if we were
35:40
Speaker 1: able to teach our daughters and our sons how to
35:43
Speaker 1: connect with their bodies intimately and with their heart space
35:47
Speaker 1: rather than just witnessing it on porn or witnessing it
35:50
Speaker 1: by like STDs. And it changes everything, changes our connection
35:54
Speaker 1: to ourselfs, and it also changes the respect we have
35:57
Speaker 1: with others when we connect with them and the way
35:59
Speaker 1: we treat their bodies in the way we treat them
36:02
Speaker 1: as human spirits in the world as well in the
36:04
Speaker 1: way we're able to deepen our experience of intimacy connection.
36:10
Speaker 1: We're all really here for. So yeah, so coming understanding
36:13
Speaker 1: how to the anatomy works. It's so fascinating and it's
36:16
Speaker 1: so important because you know, a female's body is not
36:20
Speaker 1: actually fully ready for penetration until she is fully aroused,
36:24
Speaker 1: which takes about twenty to forty minutes. And when you're
36:29
Speaker 1: examining involva mapping your body, you understand the different parts
36:33
Speaker 1: and you understand the the entire length and capacity of
36:39
Speaker 1: the clitterest, which expands and actually erects itself and you
36:45
Speaker 1: can feel that, like when I do mapping with women,
36:47
Speaker 1: you get to feel what you're what your clitterest feels
36:50
Speaker 1: like when it's erect and then you understand like, oh, now,
36:53
Speaker 1: I'm ready for that kind of play, and now I'm
36:55
Speaker 1: ready for penetration, and now my body is going to
36:57
Speaker 1: secrete fluid so that things are going to feel yummy
37:00
Speaker 1: and delicious and juicy instead of ever forcing something. And
37:04
Speaker 1: then you can also share that with your partner so
37:06
Speaker 1: they know, like men are not taught this either, Like
37:09
Speaker 1: we're both in the same place of being disconnected from
37:12
Speaker 1: our pleasure and our bodies. You know, it comes forward
37:14
Speaker 1: from you when you say that is like, imagine how
37:17
Speaker 1: many times, as women, you have been with a partner
37:20
Speaker 1: and you thought something was wrong with you, or it
37:23
Speaker 1: was you, or they may have said a comment to
37:26
Speaker 1: you of like, oh, you're not really wet, or you know,
37:29
Speaker 1: why does it hurt? And it's like, no one ever
37:32
Speaker 1: told you that it might take up to forty five
37:34
Speaker 1: minutes for you for your body to really awaken so
37:38
Speaker 1: that you can have this experience, because again, we've always
37:41
Speaker 1: been the afterthought. We've always been there to serve and
37:43
Speaker 1: show up and facilitate someone else's pleasure, which is, you know,
37:49
Speaker 1: one of the many ways women are have been tricked
37:51
Speaker 1: throughout history into these martyrdom roles, you know, these roles
37:55
Speaker 1: of jest I'm here to serve I can go without this,
38:00
Speaker 1: you know, perceived strength and resilience. It's so interesting to
38:05
Speaker 1: see that interconnectedness. And you know, something that also really
38:08
Speaker 1: comes forward for me is that I that I want
38:10
Speaker 1: to be really honest with you guys and share UM
38:14
Speaker 1: and actually feel a little motion in my chest right
38:16
Speaker 1: now saying this so that lets me know I need
38:18
Speaker 1: to say it. But I wanted to have Simone on
38:21
Speaker 1: the show, and I wanted to be this open and
38:23
Speaker 1: vulnerable with you in this way. We've never talked like
38:25
Speaker 1: this with each other before. Because after beginning this work
38:30
Speaker 1: with Simone and now deep diving into more work and
38:35
Speaker 1: curriculum and reading and experiencing and self pleasuring, I believe
38:43
Speaker 1: with all of my soul that every woman deserves this,
38:47
Speaker 1: that every woman deserves to feel like this and to
38:52
Speaker 1: know themselves in this way. And when I really think
38:56
Speaker 1: about it, I am I am an extremely processed person.
38:59
Speaker 1: I'm very very deeply processed. I've always been introspective and
39:04
Speaker 1: at least seemingly wise since I was young, UM, and
39:07
Speaker 1: I've embarked on a life path, especially the last ten
39:10
Speaker 1: years of deep excavation. If you have heard of it,
39:14
Speaker 1: I can guarantee you I've done it, um. I years
39:18
Speaker 1: of therapy, years of you know, now being someone really
39:23
Speaker 1: who has dedicated themselves to helping women heal trauma and
39:26
Speaker 1: discover the deepest parts of themselves. And you know I'm
39:30
Speaker 1: heavy deep in the mindfulness and meditation world. I can
39:33
Speaker 1: say with complete certainty, your work will never be complete
39:38
Speaker 1: until you do this. And I say that again. I
39:43
Speaker 1: can't stress this enough. I am more processed than probably
39:48
Speaker 1: of people that most people meet. I am heavily processed.
39:52
Speaker 1: I'm really constantly in hot pursuit of myself, always willing
39:58
Speaker 1: to excavate and bel bear. And even in that, I
40:03
Speaker 1: would have never reached the deepest depth of my healing
40:06
Speaker 1: and been able to expand myself to the joy and
40:10
Speaker 1: the abundance and the love that is my birthright without
40:15
Speaker 1: doing this work. We have to nourish our wounds. We
40:19
Speaker 1: have to tap into that divine, feminine power that we
40:24
Speaker 1: have been trained and forced to let go of. We
40:28
Speaker 1: have to love our bodies with reckless, abandoned and we
40:33
Speaker 1: must regularly experience the greatest pleasures possible. This work is
40:44
Speaker 1: the It's the work of the revolution. Mm hmmm, You're
40:49
Speaker 1: gonna make me cry now. It's so true though, It's
40:52
Speaker 1: so true. I mean my life has completely transformed and
40:57
Speaker 1: just aligned, you know, like I am in my body,
40:59
Speaker 1: I am in my my feminine wisdom that I'm drawing
41:03
Speaker 1: on in myself and from from my ancestors, and being
41:07
Speaker 1: able to share in a way that is that is
41:10
Speaker 1: true and connected. And when you're in that space, anything
41:13
Speaker 1: is possible. It's such amazing work. Yeah. Yeah, and it's pleasure,
41:20
Speaker 1: you know, Like we need to be in pleasure. Everything
41:22
Speaker 1: should be pleasurable. Like we should not demonize ourselves for
41:26
Speaker 1: thinking that we want to be in pleasure and that. Yeah,
41:30
Speaker 1: like I had no idea that there was this much
41:33
Speaker 1: pleasure available to us in the world. And I don't
41:36
Speaker 1: just mean that from like in orgasmic perspective, right, Like,
41:39
Speaker 1: I mean that deeply from Wow, this is a new
41:44
Speaker 1: facet of my being. I've uncovered this new access to
41:48
Speaker 1: a deeper layer of who we are and who we
41:51
Speaker 1: can be through sensuality, through like, you know, something I've
41:58
Speaker 1: really been describing my experience says now, is I I'm
42:02
Speaker 1: seducing the universe. I feel that I am a seductress
42:07
Speaker 1: of the universe. I'm seducing the gods. That's how my friend,
42:12
Speaker 1: Um Saudi Simone likes to describe it. You know, just
42:15
Speaker 1: being in that state of everything is flirty, beautiful play. Yeah,
42:20
Speaker 1: it's retraining your mind and your body and how to
42:23
Speaker 1: just feel the temperature of the air, um, to taste
42:27
Speaker 1: the sweetness of an apple in your mouth, to really
42:30
Speaker 1: slow down and have that intimate conversation with your lover
42:35
Speaker 1: or your child, or your parents or your coworker. And
42:39
Speaker 1: that's really what the essence of this work is. It
42:42
Speaker 1: invites you to drop into that space in every way. Yeah. Yeah,
42:46
Speaker 1: and to that point, you know, when you're doing this
42:49
Speaker 1: womb healing and some of this pleasure work, it extends
42:54
Speaker 1: so much to non sexual things like you are just
42:58
Speaker 1: really savoring everything, whether you are at the park holding
43:02
Speaker 1: hands with your child, you know, whether, as you said,
43:05
Speaker 1: you're having like a really juicy, yummy, open conversation with
43:09
Speaker 1: another person. Um, everything is felt with more intensity. So
43:20
Speaker 1: tell me, Simone. I mean, we've been we've been talking
43:23
Speaker 1: about some of the juiciest parts of this, But what
43:26
Speaker 1: are some of the misconceptions about the work that you do.
43:30
Speaker 1: Because I know, I know, y'all, I know, for some people,
43:33
Speaker 1: especially to sit depending on the belief systems you were
43:36
Speaker 1: raised in your family structures, you know, there's a red
43:39
Speaker 1: flag going up. Yeah, definitely. I mean this this goes
43:42
Speaker 1: back to, you know, my story about when I was
43:45
Speaker 1: younger and just being shamed for um, feeling sensual or
43:49
Speaker 1: in my body, And there is so much tabooist to
43:52
Speaker 1: to what this is and even saying the word sex
43:55
Speaker 1: like sex coach, what does that mean? Like, do you
43:57
Speaker 1: have sex with people? Right? Like, no, don't have sex
44:00
Speaker 1: with people. Um, it's not sex work, but it is
44:04
Speaker 1: intimate work. You know, you're creating a space where you're intimate,
44:07
Speaker 1: and um, it needs to be intimate in order to
44:10
Speaker 1: let those those veils unfold and for shame to disappear,
44:18
Speaker 1: we need to unearth why it is that we feel
44:21
Speaker 1: shame about those words in the first place. Yeah, how
44:25
Speaker 1: could someone get started on this journey? Well, you know,
44:29
Speaker 1: just connecting with yourself, connecting with your body, taking time
44:33
Speaker 1: every night to nurture and create a self pleasure practice.
44:37
Speaker 1: Everything that I teach and that I do with my
44:41
Speaker 1: clients is stuff that you can do on your own.
44:44
Speaker 1: You know, it's meant to empower you and really just
44:47
Speaker 1: creating a connection to having a UM communication with your body.
44:52
Speaker 1: Your body has messages and they're very clear when you
44:56
Speaker 1: take the time to get to know it. So for
44:58
Speaker 1: someone listening that asn't self pleasure and feels really intimidated
45:02
Speaker 1: by by it or maybe even traumatized around it and triggered,
45:06
Speaker 1: how would someone start or super charge they're self pleasure practice? Yeah,
45:16
Speaker 1: well that's the first step is just thinking about do
45:19
Speaker 1: you have one UM? If you did have one, what
45:21
Speaker 1: would it look like? What are you doing right now?
45:24
Speaker 1: What are the habitual patterns that you've done for so long?
45:28
Speaker 1: Like when did they start? When you first started masturbating?
45:31
Speaker 1: So many of us have these patterns. It's like one
45:33
Speaker 1: single position super quick, like get it done with and um,
45:37
Speaker 1: how can we change that? How can we invite more pleasure?
45:40
Speaker 1: How can you invite different movements, breath, sound, all of
45:47
Speaker 1: that stuff, touch, dance, all the fun things into your
45:50
Speaker 1: self pleasure practice? I think to like such a big,
45:54
Speaker 1: big thing that no one talks about because especially women,
45:57
Speaker 1: you're not necessarily comparing notes about mass servation or you know,
46:01
Speaker 1: self expression in that way. It's slowing down, you know,
46:06
Speaker 1: I think because so often and We've talked about this
46:09
Speaker 1: so often. You're so ashamed with your body that you
46:12
Speaker 1: think if you do self pleasure, you have to rush
46:15
Speaker 1: through it because you're doing it secretly with a blanket
46:17
Speaker 1: over your head. You're just trying to get to it,
46:19
Speaker 1: or you're hiding it from your partner. You don't want
46:22
Speaker 1: people to hear. And so most people learn to self
46:24
Speaker 1: pleasure by really truncating and restricting themselves. So you are
46:28
Speaker 1: being completely silent, you're being very hyper vigilant, your faces
46:32
Speaker 1: probably locked, like your jaws probably pretty tight. And then
46:37
Speaker 1: you are having an experience where it's almost as if
46:42
Speaker 1: your genital area is not a part of the rest
46:45
Speaker 1: of your life. You know, it's like this little thing
46:47
Speaker 1: that exists, but you don't actually really know it. You
46:50
Speaker 1: just pop it out when you think you need to,
46:53
Speaker 1: and then you tuck it away again, and you don't
46:56
Speaker 1: invited into the rest of your life. You don't you
46:58
Speaker 1: don't have your yoni, presn't in other parts of your life.
47:02
Speaker 1: And slowing down is a great first way to start that.
47:05
Speaker 1: You know, if you self pleasure saying, instead of trying
47:08
Speaker 1: to hurry and get to it in ten minutes, I'm
47:11
Speaker 1: going to take forty five minutes, right, Like, I'm going
47:14
Speaker 1: to put on a playlist that feels really good. I'm
47:18
Speaker 1: gonna dimn the lights, maybe light a few candles. I'm
47:21
Speaker 1: going to give myself the romance and intimacy that I
47:25
Speaker 1: long for and make it a special space, a special container,
47:30
Speaker 1: and really setting the intention of you know, I I'm
47:35
Speaker 1: doing this so that I can know myself better, so
47:38
Speaker 1: that I can heal myself, so that I can heal
47:43
Speaker 1: through joy and pleasure. Yeah. One of the things I
47:46
Speaker 1: always say is, you know, if you're just practicing touching yourself,
47:50
Speaker 1: so you can start with your you know, between your
47:53
Speaker 1: wrist and your elbow, and touch yourself in a way
47:57
Speaker 1: that feels pleasurable, touch yourself as if your hand is
48:01
Speaker 1: that of a lover's and then take a moment and
48:06
Speaker 1: slow that touchdown by fift and just notice, wow, the difference. Yeah,
48:13
Speaker 1: because self pleasure it doesn't just mean getting to business. No,
48:18
Speaker 1: there's such a wide, wide, wide wide road of other things.
48:24
Speaker 1: Even hugging yourself as self pleasure, right, that's that's such
48:28
Speaker 1: a beautiful intimacy. Yeah, And there's such a misconception about orgasms.
48:33
Speaker 1: You know, we think of what orgasms as one thing,
48:35
Speaker 1: and often a reference to what we've seen in movies
48:38
Speaker 1: being this explosive. Oh my gosh, I don't know, you know, Um,
48:42
Speaker 1: but it's not. There's so many versions of an orgasm.
48:45
Speaker 1: So so many women think they're broken because they think
48:47
Speaker 1: that they've never had an orgasm. And well that's like
48:50
Speaker 1: I feel like a whole another episode. But um, but yeah,
48:54
Speaker 1: just like getting to know your body and how she
48:56
Speaker 1: likes to be touched and you know, moved and held
48:59
Speaker 1: in and then exploring with all the different ways that
49:01
Speaker 1: you haven't touched her before and see how that feels. Yeah.
49:06
Speaker 1: How many kinds of orgasms are there? I mean I
49:08
Speaker 1: think there's infinite amount, but there's like full body orgasms.
49:13
Speaker 1: There's like like what like could you orgasm without Yes,
49:19
Speaker 1: you can orgasm without even being touched. Some people, some
49:22
Speaker 1: personas are so sensitive that they can just you know,
49:26
Speaker 1: by the by the interactions that they're having or the sites.
49:31
Speaker 1: Um can orgasm without touch. There are purely vaginal orgasms.
49:35
Speaker 1: There's only clitoral orgasms. There are's mouth orgasms. There's so
49:39
Speaker 1: many mouth orgasms. Yeah. Interesting, okurrent, So how do you think, um, now,
49:46
Speaker 1: you know, with all the work that you've done and
49:49
Speaker 1: all the different kinds of people that you've seen are
49:51
Speaker 1: the ways in which you've experienced this healing. Why is
49:56
Speaker 1: this work so important especially for women of color m
50:02
Speaker 1: HM as a tool for healing. I think this is
50:07
Speaker 1: so important for all women and especially for women of color,
50:12
Speaker 1: because it just connects you with your body. It connects
50:15
Speaker 1: you with your desires, your power, your intuition, and it
50:24
Speaker 1: reclaims a part of us that are just we've lost
50:28
Speaker 1: touch with. Yeah. Yeah, gives you really the opportunity to
50:33
Speaker 1: feel safe inside of yourself? Yes, yeah, thank you for
50:37
Speaker 1: saying that. Yeah. I think so many women of color one,
50:42
Speaker 1: and especially up until recently, all women like you've never
50:45
Speaker 1: really been able to even own your own story or
50:48
Speaker 1: speak freely about things you've experienced. There's always this expectation
50:52
Speaker 1: of how you should show for others, how you should
50:55
Speaker 1: heal others, how you should nourish others and martyr for others.
50:59
Speaker 1: And you know what that really means is what that
51:03
Speaker 1: translates into is a feeling of not being safe inside
51:07
Speaker 1: of yourself, feeling like you are a stranger to yourself, um,
51:13
Speaker 1: feeling scared and anxious to even spend time with yourself
51:17
Speaker 1: alone and be with your thoughts or be with your body.
51:21
Speaker 1: You know. Um, there's so many tiny ways we start
51:24
Speaker 1: to betray ourselves and add to our suffering and add
51:28
Speaker 1: to the pain of our stories and our narratives that
51:31
Speaker 1: we don't even realize just because we don't know how
51:35
Speaker 1: to be at rest with us. Yeah, definitely, And yeah,
51:41
Speaker 1: with this work, you get to connect with yourself and
51:43
Speaker 1: feel safe and therefore really trust the choices that you make,
51:48
Speaker 1: really trust them and be at one with them. And
51:51
Speaker 1: you know, we're speaking about pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, but a
51:53
Speaker 1: lot of this work is also about boundaries and how
51:57
Speaker 1: to identify what doesn't feel good. So that super clear
52:00
Speaker 1: with that as well. Oh my gosh, I love that.
52:02
Speaker 1: Can you speak more to that? Yeah, yeah, So that's
52:06
Speaker 1: a huge chunk of where we begin in this journey
52:09
Speaker 1: is how do you actually say what you don't want?
52:12
Speaker 1: You know, we as women override and tolerate so much
52:16
Speaker 1: where caregivers, where mothers were just feel like we have
52:20
Speaker 1: to carry the world on our back. So we pushed
52:23
Speaker 1: past our boundaries constantly, and by doing this work, you
52:27
Speaker 1: really connect with what feels good, what doesn't feel good
52:32
Speaker 1: and what feels like me and all that met is
52:36
Speaker 1: like that's a no, yeah, yeah, and it could be
52:40
Speaker 1: interesting everybody, and do this without judgment, but really spend
52:43
Speaker 1: time and thought of like maybe when was that having
52:46
Speaker 1: an intimate moment with a partner and actually didn't want
52:49
Speaker 1: to do that, but I didn't say anything, or I
52:52
Speaker 1: just thought, well it's fine, Or you didn't like the
52:55
Speaker 1: way they were touching you, but you didn't want to
52:57
Speaker 1: correct them because you know, you may have felt that
53:00
Speaker 1: that would have been embarrassing or thrown the mood off,
53:04
Speaker 1: you know. And and how often do we really get
53:07
Speaker 1: to practice saying what we want in real time? Yeah,
53:12
Speaker 1: so saying what you want and saying what you don't want,
53:15
Speaker 1: but in a way that's not from a place of
53:17
Speaker 1: trigger but a loving no, a loving like way to redirect,
53:22
Speaker 1: which we don't ever get taught. What would that sound
53:25
Speaker 1: like like if if you were with a partner right
53:27
Speaker 1: now and the way they were touching you it wasn't bad,
53:31
Speaker 1: but you're like, I just rather have be touched in
53:34
Speaker 1: a different way. How would you vocalize that? Yeah, I
53:37
Speaker 1: would say I appreciate your touch right there, but it
53:42
Speaker 1: would feel much better if you grabbed my hips and
53:46
Speaker 1: pulled me closer like that really turns me on. So
53:50
Speaker 1: you're appreciating what they're doing, but you're redirecting them to
53:53
Speaker 1: a place that you really like. Or if it's something
53:56
Speaker 1: that really you know you don't like, you just say
53:59
Speaker 1: that doesn't make me feel good in my body, I
54:01
Speaker 1: would really appreciate if you touched me in this way instead.
54:05
Speaker 1: That's so powerful. Any way that we can learn boundaries,
54:09
Speaker 1: any way that we can learn to advocate for self
54:12
Speaker 1: is so important. Not just for this talk that I know,
54:15
Speaker 1: you know feels like really sexy or really sexualized or sensual,
54:19
Speaker 1: but all of these tools, especially the ones you put
54:22
Speaker 1: into play in your most intimate moments, they're the tools
54:26
Speaker 1: that are going to be able to lead your life.
54:29
Speaker 1: And you're going to be able to stand in the
54:31
Speaker 1: world with this authentic inner power and this peace and
54:34
Speaker 1: this radiance. And so I believe you know, when we
54:37
Speaker 1: talk about mind, body, soul, we have to have the
54:41
Speaker 1: integration of all three. And so for me, the journey
54:46
Speaker 1: is not complete. No matter how many books you've read,
54:49
Speaker 1: how much therapy, how much journaling you do, you know
54:54
Speaker 1: you also have to have the somatic experiencing, and I
54:57
Speaker 1: believe that once you've heard of this work, no woman
55:01
Speaker 1: should go without like this is such a profoundly powerful
55:07
Speaker 1: and necessary piece of the puzzle of really coming into
55:12
Speaker 1: a place of wholeness as a woman, remembering your full wholeness.
55:16
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, you do powerful work. Thank you, TeV. Well,
55:23
Speaker 1: you know it's not even me, That's the thing is.
55:25
Speaker 1: I feel like this is just reconnecting with your body.
55:27
Speaker 1: I'm just a guide. Yeah, So I'd like to I
55:31
Speaker 1: like to end the show first, please let everyone know
55:34
Speaker 1: how they can connect with you, because I know people
55:36
Speaker 1: are going to be so excited to learn more. And
55:39
Speaker 1: I know you have programs available on your website, so
55:41
Speaker 1: please share some of that. Yes, thank you so much.
55:44
Speaker 1: So you can go to my website, the Pleasure Plus,
55:47
Speaker 1: and that's the online community for women, and there I
55:51
Speaker 1: have courses, I have individualized sessions for one on one
55:56
Speaker 1: um I do the Volva mapping there and I work
55:59
Speaker 1: in person, but I also do a lot of my
56:01
Speaker 1: work now via zoom, so it's fully accessible. So my
56:05
Speaker 1: Instagram is at the Pleasure Plus. My private coaching website
56:11
Speaker 1: is simone Farshee dot com. And then my community and
56:14
Speaker 1: courses website is the pleasure plus dot com. Yeah, I
56:18
Speaker 1: highly recommend if you even feel slightly open enough to
56:23
Speaker 1: do this, if you feel ready, if you if this
56:25
Speaker 1: resonates in your heart and you're like, this is the piece,
56:29
Speaker 1: because that's what I heard when one of my girlfriends
56:32
Speaker 1: first told me a little bit about this journey. She
56:35
Speaker 1: was doing work with Betty Dotson, and when she just
56:38
Speaker 1: revealed a small amount of what she was doing, my
56:41
Speaker 1: heart instantly knew, I have to know more. This is
56:44
Speaker 1: for me. So if you're hearing that and feeling that,
56:47
Speaker 1: I really recommend that you go to Simone's website, pleasure Plus.
56:51
Speaker 1: She has beautiful courses available um different entry points, so
56:55
Speaker 1: as ready as you are, there will be something available
56:58
Speaker 1: to you and would just be a really incredible experience
57:03
Speaker 1: to begin investigating. There's no race, there's no pressure, but
57:08
Speaker 1: there's always more that we can have. There's more available
57:11
Speaker 1: to us. So someone in closing, I like to end
57:21
Speaker 1: every show with what I call soul work. It's a
57:25
Speaker 1: little bit of homework for the listeners to take whip
57:28
Speaker 1: them into the week until we meet again in the
57:30
Speaker 1: next episode. So is there something some soul work, some
57:34
Speaker 1: homework that you can give to everyone that they can
57:38
Speaker 1: start experiencing. Yes, there is, uh so I would invite
57:44
Speaker 1: you all tonight or in the morning, or whenever you
57:47
Speaker 1: find your an intimate moment with yourself to take a breath,
57:52
Speaker 1: to drop into your body, to put one hand over
57:56
Speaker 1: your heart and one hand cupping your yoni or your vulva,
58:02
Speaker 1: your pussy, whatever you call her. I definitely invite you
58:05
Speaker 1: to name her if that's something you haven't done already,
58:10
Speaker 1: and just sit there. Just the act of coping her
58:14
Speaker 1: is incredibly powerful and from this place, if you're feeling
58:19
Speaker 1: any kind of uncertainty or if you want to receive
58:23
Speaker 1: more pleasure, just channeling that and asking her if she
58:27
Speaker 1: has a message for you mm hm. And you can
58:32
Speaker 1: do this copying her. You can do this over your womb,
58:37
Speaker 1: on your ovaries, but just asking what that messages and
58:43
Speaker 1: then receiving it. Ah, that's so beautiful. And don't try
58:49
Speaker 1: to fill that space with a response of your own,
58:52
Speaker 1: like really give it some room for depth. Really let
58:57
Speaker 1: spirit universe bring forward you know, um, and maybe you
59:01
Speaker 1: could even say like what do you really want? Yeah,
59:05
Speaker 1: what do you really want? And I highly recommend to
59:08
Speaker 1: keep your journal nearby, get a pen, and even if
59:12
Speaker 1: you don't want to write a full novel to yourself,
59:15
Speaker 1: just jot down a couple of bullet points of what
59:17
Speaker 1: came up for you and revisit it when you're ready. Beautiful,
59:22
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Somone, thank you, Devy, thank you all.
59:29
Speaker 1: Hey find me on social let's connect at Debbie Brown.
59:33
Speaker 1: That's Twitter and Instagram, or go to my website Debbie
59:36
Speaker 1: Brown dot com. And if you're listening to the show
59:39
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, please please please don't forget to rate, review,
59:46
Speaker 1: and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Dropping
59:50
Speaker 1: Jams is the production of I Heart Radio and the
59:53
Speaker 1: Black Effect Network. It's produced by Triple and Me Debbie Brown.
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