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The Energetic Hangover: What Spiritual Integration Really Feels Like · The Unity Code - Where Science Meets Energy, Consciousness, and Spirit.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, everyone.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Unity Code podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: In this episode, I thought I would talk about the process and energy behind integrations because I am currently in the thick of it right now.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like even on video right now, I want to adjust my necklace and I want to adjust my body.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel very disoriented and honestly a little dysregulated in my energy right now.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: But that's because I'm coming off of two weekends in a row of doing a shamanic retreat that is included in my year-long shamanic apprenticeship that I'm in.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And wow, just wow.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure I will talk about that experience at another point.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I thought it would be more appropriate to talk about this energetic hangover that I'm feeling and that, you know, no accidents.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: So many of my students are going to their own retreats and workshops that are in person andor online.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so many of you are actively integrating those experiences well.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So let's break it down.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let's try to make this uh energetic hangover, aka what you know we would politely call integration period, although that's like the nice word because really it is an energetic hangover and what this looks like, what this feels like, how you can navigate through it.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then how do you know you're actually through these energetic integration periods, post-workshops, post-retreats?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think I've ever really sat down to think or talk about this before.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really excited for this.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So over the course of the past two weekends, uh I have been traveling and staying with an amazing group of women who are insanely talented, insanely uh gracious and loving and gifted in their own rights.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And also at the same time, there has been a lot of very in-depth, deep, energetic practices that we have been learning, um, sessions that we've been giving on each other.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're talking about the last two weekends, I really want you to frame this in your mind as it is a shamanic energetic boot camp in every sense of the word.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we are not actively learning and practicing the modality of shamanism, then I am having very deep, grounded, amazing conversations with the participants that are there with me.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so this really was for an introvert and am I an introvert?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm a trained introvert.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say it.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say for an amnivert, because I feel like I can be, you know, introverted when I need to and extroverted when I need to.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: But for somebody who really keeps my energy usually close to my chest as a projector, it was really about being quote unquote on and connected to deep spiritual practice and deep spiritual practitioners for two weekends in a row.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the only time I got to myself generally was when I went to bed.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And in the rare instance where I was driving between sites or purposely like finding a small window of time where I stepped out to either call my family or just take a breath to myself.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: But for the most part, I was probably about 99% engaged in people and energy throughout the weekend.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it truly was energetic boot camp with little to no downtime for me personally.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not to say that it wasn't amazing and fun and so valuable in every sense of the word.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: But as somebody who really loves this work and is so deeply passionate about this work, for me to walk away from both weekends where I got little to no energetic recuperation or respite, I mean, it's a lot for me to energetically process and integrate back into my own energy.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to talk about it because at the end of the weekends, I finally arrived home after a very long drive, which was very lovely.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like even on the way home, I couldn't listen to music.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't listen to podcasts, I couldn't listen to books on tape.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was literally me in isolation with no noise.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when I arrived home that evening, I was toast.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was so tired at five o'clock in the afternoon that I could have gone to bed for the entire night.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know that resourcing is very important.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: So instead, I made sure that I had all of the things that I need to in order to, you know, feel safe and comfortable in my body.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I made sure I had water.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I made sure I ate, you know, I obviously had to reconnect and say hello to the family and friends.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I put on um a movie on TV.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: So it was low interaction and low effort in terms of kind of hanging out with my kids and who missed me as well and were like religious like fucking octopuses when I arrived home.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: They were just like squished right into me for the rest of the evening, especially my daughter.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it was really nice to bring that home.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: But like me, I was an energetic lump.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was like a pile of mashed potatoes on the couch.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I finally made it to bed that night, I think I had slept 11 hours that night.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think I went to bed at eight and I woke up at seven the next day, and it still wasn't enough.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was still a zombie the next day, and I was very floaty in my energy, and I felt very disconnected to myself and the people around me.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um I mean, I was functioning for sure, but there was an aspect of me that was still completely disassociating from reality, and that's okay, and that's normal.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so how I addressed it that day was I just took it slow and I found ways to just resource myself and feel really good in my energy.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I went to go get a coffee.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, went to do the groceries at a very slow pace, right?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I found time to rest and reconnect with myself and my family and just really took it easy and did a lot of self-care that first day.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second day was not much better, if I'm honest with you.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: But what I found in this integration period, at least for me, and I want to kind of broaden broaden this after I get through my story here, is I felt so wobbly in my energy, and I left a trail of destruction in my house wherever I went.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so the physical environment for me was a very apt visual description of how my energy field was.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I arrived home on Sunday, I literally left all of my shit in the car except for my pillow and my phone charger.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, literally just left it.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I will deal with that tomorrow.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have energy for that.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: So then a Monday, when I brought everything out and I started my laundry, I left all of my shit everywhere.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I unpacked my bag and then I left my packed bathroom bag in the bathroom.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I left my towel on the floor, right?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I came into my office and I dropped off all of my books and my tarot decks and I just fucking left them on my desk.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like I literally dropped them into the room where they belonged and ran.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: That was pretty much the extent of what I could handle on the second day after the retreat.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like just to give you a mental concept of what this looked like.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And mind you, like I'm still taking clients during this.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had clients on Tuesday, I had clients on Wednesday, I had clients on on third, you know, on Thursday.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so I still am actively doing readings and participating, which by the way, was totally fine.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because you'd think if I'm this much of an energetic mess, I must be an energetic mess in my readings.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just not true.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not true.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And and like think that I think this is the really cool thing about working with spirit that no matter how tired you are, no matter what kind of a day you're having, no matter if you're sick, no matter if you are um having a massive personal dilemma or nervous system freak out, whenever you connect to spirit, they will find ways to neutralize the energy so that you can read appropriately for your clients, for your sitters, for whoever you're reading for.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, me, I am very cognizant and conscious of the fact that I was not my energetic butt self.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I did what I could to prepare for those sessions.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: I made sure I had a little extra space before and after.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I made sure that energetically I was as clear as possible.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: I made sure I had, again, enough food, enough water, enough resource, excuse me, to feel like I was showing up in my best energetic self, even though like my true energetic self was a hot fucking mess, right?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And just to be clear, I wouldn't have taken the clients if I didn't feel like I could give them 110% like I always do.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like whatever fucking energetic reserve I had that day, I literally put 110% of my effort into my client readings and then I was done the rest of the day.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's really what this looked like energetically.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so as I took it slow Monday and Tuesday, even with the clients and classes that I have, by the time I hit today, which is Wednesday, I am like a brand new fucking person.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's because I did take the time on Monday and Tuesday to really settle into my energy, to very be very soft and gentle with myself, to allow myself to just go with the flow, to not have a giant to-do list that I felt like I need to tackle, which is why you're not getting a podcast until Thursday this week, is because I was like, ah, I have some stuff in the hopper.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it has to wait.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm not those episodes, spirit is like pause on those.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they need to come out when they need to come out.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is this is the earliest I could record a new podcast episode and like quite literally appropriate because I gave myself permission to feel into what I needed to integrate the energetic tornado that I have sat in for the last two weekends.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so hopefully this gives you a really good picture of what it is like coming home from a retreat, coming home from a like a weekend long workshop where you are putting 110% in your, you are putting your full energetic best self forward in and really stepping out of your comfort zone.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And how, like, because you pushed for two or three days, now you need two or three days on the back end to balance that energy.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so let me bring it up above my story to really talk about like why does this happen?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Why does this happen?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what does it feel like?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think I just described it, described it to you, but like my experience is very varied in terms of what I feel after retreats, depending on how much energy I put into it.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm talking about um a few years ago, I was at Omega at a Tony Stockwell weekend long retreat, and like it was amazing.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: I felt fine the next day.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: I went to a Suzanne Giesman retreat last year.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it was amazing, felt fine when I got home.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I think I think the amount of integration time that you need is directly related to how much energy you put into the weekend.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: And like with the Tony Stockwell one, yes, we learned, yes, we did practice sessions, but it really wasn't too much.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a lot of downtime there, especially if you've been to Omega, you know they tend to run the workshops like nine to four or nine to five, and then you tend to get nights free and you and you start later in the day.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so you do have a lot of time during the retreat, during the weekend to integrate, to think about things, to write notes, to journal, right?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so you do have some of that time built into the weekend, which is very value add.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: And also, I wasn't doing a ton of work at the Tony Stockwell Omega retreat.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't doing a ton of work at the Suzanne Giesman retreat.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was really cool, but it really didn't energetically deplete me as much as this last two shamanic weekends back to back.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, weekend the same duration after weekend one to recuperate was the same duration after weekend two.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was, I mean, it I essentially just took two weeks out of my schedule calendar because I knew I knew it would be like energetic whiplash.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what's so interesting is balancing these examples with me co-hosting the retreat in Mexico for Dia de los Muertos.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so interesting because I was both a participant and presenter.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the way that retreat was set up is one of the mediums that is my friend, uh, the amazing Julie Speech speech chance of I think it's Soaring Hearts down in Florida now.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she had organized this amazing retreat in Mexico, and she invited fellow teachers to come and co-teach, which was awesome for me.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I fucking loved it, right?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was like, retreat to Mexico.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: I get a business write-off, and I get to go teach for a little bit, and I get to be in Mexico.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck yes.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: I signed up for that shit so fast.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, so like while I was down there, it was amazing because I got to participate.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it was learning, it was practicing.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: We had a lot of time in the evenings, in the afternoons for integration.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: We started a little late.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, because there was more time in the calendar, it it was okay in terms of the integration time.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now I was doing great until it was my day to present, until it was my day to teach.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, you all know me.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's go big or go home over here.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so we didn't just do a quick little three-hour training session, which by the way, I do like once a week with my circle group, right?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Which is no big deal.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Energetically doesn't drain me.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, we didn't take it easy.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Spirit gave me how to do ancestral mediumship and call in the ancestors because it was Dial de los muertos.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: So we called in the energy of the ancestors for an ancestral reading about what you needed to know about your ancestors or your family line, which was cool as shit unto itself and energetic unto itself.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: But on top of that, the land wanted me to do an activation.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't just start with teaching the mediumship.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: I literally started shaking before I even started teaching because I said, like this land, we have all come here in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, because the land wants these 2530 mediums that were there to activate the energetic grid of this location to amplify the energetic frequency, to call in higher vibrations so it could connect further across an Earth's energetic grid.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really understand grids that much.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm figuring that out just so don't ask me a lot of questions on that.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so what we ended up doing in this activation is I called in the spirit of the land, who was very fucking fiercely divine feminine, by the way.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: She was kind of like, have you seen Moana at the end of it, where it's uh Tafiti, and then it's like the lava lady.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was kind of a mix between the two, like the energy of Puerto Vallarta.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so kind of like Pele energy, but with Gaia mixed in there, it was a it was an energy anyway.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so we did this energetic activation with everybody where essentially I called in the energy of the land and did an attunement and an activation with every single participant there.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was shaking in how much energy I was pulling through to facilitate this activation.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: People were like sobbing in the room with the amount of energy that came through.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: People were seeing crazy visions and all these ridiculous things, right?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: So again, go big or go home because I did this immense activation for the land that attuned everybody at the same time while also teaching this class while also walking around and checking the energetic frequency of everybody and troubleshooting and making sure everybody was good.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um the next day at the retreat, I had to sit out.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: I had to sit out.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had used so much of my energy that I was like that was the accurate depiction of what I what I sounded like and looked like, by the way.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I didn't even I was so out of it that I didn't even text poor Julie.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: And Julie was like texting me, making sure I was okay because I just didn't show up.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: That is how out of it I was energetically.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like my integration for that retreat, I could not wait until the end.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: It was too intense for me.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so I actually had to take a day during the retreat, during my trip to Puerto Vallarta, to like take a time out and energetically recharge myself.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's so I'm walking through all these examples to kind of show you that the amount of energy you put in is directly related to the amount of integration you're gonna do and also like how soon the integration is.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because I wasn't leading anything this Shimano weekend.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I could delay my integration time until I got back.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was participating, taking in, right, having conversations with people, but energetically there wasn't a lot moving through me besides learning.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so I could delay the integration, but while I was leading it, I needed the integration time.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is like a wonderful, wonderful perspective for anyone that is attending retreats.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, like how much energy are you gonna put in, right?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you're if it is gonna be energetically intensive, maybe plan one, two, three days afterwards that you can use to just go at a slower pace, knowing that your energy is gonna be at a limited capacity, versus if you are leading these retreats, you better be fucking including buffers in the day where you can step away and energetically recharge yourself.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Which I don't know if I ever thought about before.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like as a projector, I know that I would need that, but I'm but now that I'm coming to this conclusion and realization, talking with all of you out loud, like there's a reason retreats are not 24 hours a day.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because everyone needs a little rest and recuperation time to integrate along the way.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a lovely thing.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um I feel like I answered a lot of the questions I wrote down.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, what does it feel like?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, let's dive into that.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dive into what it does it feel like because I talked at a high level that I was just generally mush.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really interesting because I've I've been really able to.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, and we'll see if I can articulate it, but I've really been able to separate out these feelings of rest and why I need to rest.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because like the idea of rest is really, really important.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: And God knows, probably enough of you get it get readings from other people that say, spirit says you should rest, spirit says, which is the worst thing any developing medium or any developing practical practitioner wants a year, because we never want to rest.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: We just want to constantly do the work 24-7 because that's what we love and that's what we're excited about.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: But when when I'm talking about needing to rest, I was able to kind of recognize that like I was I was pretty resourced, right?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: I had slept a lot.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: I had even on the retreat, I slept a lot.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: I have had full meals, right?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: I've had enough water.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, you can start to look at this.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, if you haven't had those after a retreat, make sure you do.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: That should be step one.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Step one should be resourcing yourself and getting food and water and sleep, right?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Take care of the basics.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, shower, you know, like like whatever you need to do, move your body if that's something that really feels right for you.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so, like, because I took care of those basics, I knew that I wasn't, I didn't need to rest because I wasn't resourced, right?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: And like I was able to take that out of the groove of why I needed to rest because I did take care of myself.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: I did do self care.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: And because you do that, you move through the integration a lot more.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: So ding, ding, ding, pay attention there.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so because I'd resource myself, you have to kind of go to the next reason.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the next reason was um.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, there's two things that's popping up.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let me see which one it wants to.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what's that strand?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Unprocessed information.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: So where I was was I had a lot of information from my weekend that was unprocessed.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: And what that means is like it was energy and information was coming at me and at me and at me.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: And although I did write the notes down, I did not have time to really process the information.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: This might be a me problem.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it is.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I really, there's some components of the weekend that I really needed to like sit with and think about.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of part of the integration, too, is like finding your way with the tools and skills and knowledge that you've gained or relationships that you've gained and really think in depth about it and like see if there's any more nuggets of gold.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because like it almost felt like energetically that I needed to continue the weekend, if that makes sense.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because it felt like although my energy was very tired, it also felt like I needed to keep going.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is one of those things that I don't know if I can explain, but it felt like I had to keep going.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: I had to keep thinking, I had to keep processing, I had to keep integrating.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, there was unprocessed information in my field, in my system, that I needed to like sit down and think about.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that's literally what I did.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Monday and Tuesday, I started writing everything that happened over the course of the two weekends.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: I started with the most recent.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I started with the Sunday that I came home and I went backwards across the seven total days that I was um included in this retreat.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so like I was able to kind of write stuff down.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the beauty of having the iPad as the notepad, is because as I forget things, I can like copy and move I love it.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: I just fucking love it because then I can make space when I need to in the in the notebook and move things around in the in the digital notebook.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um but as I was going through, I was able to like, I wrote down what was obvious.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then needless to say, I would go back and be like, oh, I forgot this.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I forgot this.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this was on two, this was on Saturday.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, right, right, right.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: This thing happened last Monday.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I was able to kind of add all of those notes in there.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and it's almost like my energy didn't want to forget anything because that's how impactful it was.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: My energy didn't want to forget everything, and I felt very unsettled in my own energy until I wrote everything down.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's really what it felt like.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are walking out of these weekend retreats and you are feeling very unsettled and feeling, and like it's really hard to pinpoint what this feeling feels like, but it feels very unsettled.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: It feels very like um like I need to do something, even though I know I also need to rest.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like I need there's a there's something I need to actually do or process, then that's a really good cue for you to like take notes, write things down, um, sit and meditate on maybe one or two points that you keep spiraling on or keep thinking about over and over again, because there's a part of the integration, even before you can integrate it, is you have to process it first.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so process what needs to be processed as you leave these weekend retreats.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just pausing to see what the second thread was.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right, and then the last piece is really rest needed because you have energetically changed.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Period.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Full stop.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't enter a retreat and leave unchanged.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't enter a retreat and leave the way that you came.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, for good or for bad.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna like I'm gonna put that out there.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not every retreat has been an amazing fucking experience.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Some retreats have been holy shit, I never want to do that again.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or holy shit, that leader has no, or the person who led the retreat has no fucking clue what they're doing.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've had the gamut of experiences here.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so even if it was not an ideal retreat, even if it was not what you hoped to get out of it, or the ideal um outcome that you wanted from it, and or even if it was a a slam dunk, a home run, if it was the best retreat you've ever had, either way, you are learning a ton of stuff that needs to be processed, right?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: And also a lot as you process it of big emotions that need to land in your energy field.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I'm stating the obvious because you're gonna need to like take the concepts and or outcomes that you learned, either from the teacher or because of the teacher, and you're gonna have to integrate that into your own energetic body and find a place where that information fits within the context of the reality that you already have built for yourself.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: God, that was a loaded statement.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: So not only do you have to integrate the actual knowledge and have it settle and feel safe in your brain, but also energetically, there was a lot that you processed as well, right?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: You processed how you felt about the topics that were discussed.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: You processed, you processed how you felt about the teacher, you processed how you felt about maybe the other participants.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you walked away with a few new friends, right?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you had to process how you felt either superhuman or completely inadequate in the activities or lessons that you learned in the retreat.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of self-reflection that goes on as well that comes back to you that brings you out of your comfort zone.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying you're gonna automatically go back into your comfort zone because again, you're not gonna be the same after the retreat, but energetically, you have to reassess your energy and incorporating some of the truths that you were unaware of or the lessons that you needed to learn back into your energetic field after these weeklend retreats.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: And really, this is probably about 90% of the processing or the integration that kind of happens, at least for me, I would suspect for most people as well.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so this might not be a conscious exercise for you.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: This might be a very subconscious exercise for you because consciously that might look like thinking about different points of the of the weekend.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: That might be thinking about different people that you really loved or really hated from the weekend.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: That might be thinking about different topics and figuring out how they fit again, like into your brain space, your mind space, right?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and so, and also like how you felt about certain topics.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Did you like certain topics?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Did you not like certain topics?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: Did some um go directly against maybe a perspective that you had, then now you have to rewrite your reality with that perspective or that topic.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so you might like consciously be thinking about processing these things, and as you process it, it will naturally integrate into your energetic field, and or maybe you're also subconsciously processing the food you ate, the lack of sleep you got, right?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: The way that the room felt with all the dysregulated people in it.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what our that's what our energy and our brain does subconsciously, is it tries to create patterns, recognize patterns, and integrate those patterns into your experience so that God forbid fight or flight, right?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: Pops up so that you know next time and you're gonna feel safer next time when you go.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's creating a pattern in your energetic field that allows you to like expand your own capacity and also feel safer in the expansion of that capacity.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's really what you're doing it when you're talking about integrating the energy.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if I like draw a big circle around this integration, I think there's so many different aspects to it that you may not be aware of.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like some we are aware of, and I think some we are very unaware of because I even this week, I knew, I knew I would have to take additional time to process the information, to process the weekend, to process what I've learned.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: I did not even think about the energetics, the expansion, the amount of God, fucking talented energy that I was sitting in with my teacher in the physical room, with the students who are so fucking powerful in the in the room.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: And like, don't you think that I was integrating from all of their energy as well?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: And when I keep saying the word integration, I've kind of alluded to this.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: But you're expanding your energetic capacity and knowledge.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's truly what you're integrating.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to think about it as like a book.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: Every time you read a new book, let's say, God, let's use this one.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is a great book.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm looking at Soul Design by Linda Backman.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: 10 out of 10, by the way, uh, recommend this if this is if you like uh this isn't past life.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: She's a past life regressionist, but she talks about um the origins of the soul.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, as you're reading this book, she starts to talk about how different souls originate from different areas.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: And she talks about based on her past life regression, because like she's a doctor first, everybody.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she is able to identify certain themes around people who tend to have more of an angelic soul creation um origin.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: She might talk about cosmic soul origins, she might talk about earth-based soul origins.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so as she's going through this, she's giving you use cases, she's giving you examples, she's helping you identify, you know, which soul origin are you most likely from based on some information that you have.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, there's an integration of number one, the concept into my brain, which is expanding the knowledge set of my brain.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: So there's an expansion there.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she's she's in she's giving me this concept of, you know, origins of different, different origins of souls, which is expanding my energetic understanding of of this.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: And also as I'm reading this book, I'm asking my team, what does it look like and feel like if an angelic soul comes to me?
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like and feel like if an earth-based soul comes to me?
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like and feel like if as a cosmic or galactic soul comes to me?
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I'm actually working my team energetically to understand how I can take this knowledge and apply it to my clients, apply it to my readings, apply it to my basis of energy and information and knowledge so that I become a better practitioner for those of you that end up with a session with me.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so that is the energetic expansion that happens.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm able to read more energy, interpret more energy, perceive more energy.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so that is the expansion that comes with just one book.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so that compounds as you're talking about a weekend full of activities, a weekend full of people, a weekend full of perspectives, a weekend full of um badass motherfucking bitches that know their shit and are powerful as fuck.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll sit in their energy and expand from their energy, and I'll expand from their knowledge and I'll expand from their questions.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so the integration is really allowing your system to feel comfortable with the inevitable expansion that you've uh witnessed and walked through in terms of the context of heart, mind, body, and soul, all four.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I realize not every retreat hits all four, but this one sure is fucked.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess my number one piece of advice if you are walking out of these retreats in these very energetically, God, exciting but also depleting activities, is just give yourself time, give yourself care.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let your intuition lead the way in terms of like what you want to do and when you want to do it.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because even though I was so tired on Tuesday, I still felt like I wanted to go to Home Depot to get some lumber for a project that I'm doing.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: And like even in my tired state, I was like, my intuition is telling me to go.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I'm gonna go.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it was great.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: It was fine.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think my team knew that I wasn't gonna rest anyway, so I might as well go get a chore done.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: And if you follow that intuition and your gut, and you if you follow the energy that you're feeling, you're gonna start to know that you move through it because you finally feel rested.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can finally witness the expansion that you're feeling in your heart, mind, body, and soul, right?
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: You can start to really feel more present in your own energy, probably less floaty, probably more grounded.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and things are gonna start.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like you've been sitting in this bubble and you can't hear anything while you're integrating.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's the easiest way for me to be able to explain that because like I feel like I'm in this plastic bubble, but it's hazy, so I can't really see out when I'm integrating all this stuff.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden I'm integrated, the bubble bursts and things become clear again.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, okay, so let me just like take care of this.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: This feels good.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: My brain is back to firing on all synapses, things are starting to make sense.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm seeing the expansion of the knowledge in some of my client readings, right?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so you're gonna know when you move out of it because you start to feel more like yourself.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: And there's an asterisk to that because it is still going to be an expanded version of yourself.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it might not feel 100% like the old you, but you should be walking into the expanded feeling of the new you.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: So there you have it.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: That is the process I have been going through to integrate my two shamanic weekends.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: And also, like this is the general process for any sort of an energetic upgrade, expansion, et cetera.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: You can just like literally take out everything I said about the retreat or the weekend because you're still going to feel the same way.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: You're still going to feel like a truck hit you, that um you're so tired.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, even though you're eating, even though you're sleeping, even though you're drinking water, you're so tired, you're so energetically depleted, your body is telling you to rest, your brain is mush, right?
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're still gonna have these things.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: And this is like the energetic cue that you're getting an upgrade, is because there is no logical reason or explanation for how you feel.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think the only difference is with the retreat you do.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: You do know because you've literally forced yourself through an upgrade.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if you're just experiencing it on the day-to-day, notice when you may move through it and you've popped that bubble at the end.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel more expanded?
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel more grounded?
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel like something has shifted in your energy?
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: And ask your team, ask your guides to give you opportunities for you to witness your own expansion.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's fucking cool.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: So there you have it.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now you know what integration is, what it feels like, how you move through it, how you know you're done it.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I am wishing you all the best in processing your own energetic upgrades, your own retreats, your own weekend workshops.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully now you feel much more comfortable going through the integration phase and allowing it to move through you without resistance, without frustration, without hesitation, so that you can become that next version of you even faster.